take this sinking boat (and point it home)
by words-with-dragons
Summary: You've still got time… / Anchor AUception; After saving the Governor and his daughter at a local bank robbery, 15 year old rising pirate Kai finds his life turned upside down. [Kai/Jinora] More info inside; T for language and violence, and M in later chapters for eventual smut
1. The Bank

**A/N:** Hello everyone! Here's a little background to the fic spiritypowers and I (co-writing once more) are about to present. An AUception, a term that I coined, is like an AU within an AU. If say, the Anchor fanfic is what's canon for the Anchor AU, than this is like a canon divergence, of exactly what is said in the summary. Having read Anchor, I don't think, is absolutely necessary, but I do think it will make this fic A) far more easy to understand as you'll already be familiar in the AU world its taking place in, the relationships, and the multitude of mainly OCs that make up the crew/supporting cast, and B) will make it far more enjoyable, as you'll catch all the hints the two of us have left along the way. Expect regular updates of very long chapters.

The title is taken from the song "Falling Slowly," and without further ado, here is what spiritypowers and I affectionately refer to as the Banchorverse.

* * *

 **TAKE THIS SINKING BOAT (AND POINT IT HOME)**

CHAPTER ONE: The Bank

The bank was by far the fanciest place Kai had ever been. With marble pillars and golden furnishings, chairs that cost more than he would ever make in his life, people who seemed to wear money as clothes. He was used to sticking out like a sore, broken thumb—but this was a new kind of uncomfortable. Or at least, he had to put up with more dirty looks than usual.

Hopefully their buyer would get here soon, as Yung elbowed him in the side to keep him grounded.

"Don't you dare go wandering off, kid," Yung warned.

He snorted. "Like I have anywhere to go here."

"I'm serious. These people are quick to judge people who, well… look like us." Yung looked at the watch on his fat wrist. "And you've had plenty of lessons from Tyyo, anyway."

Kai purposefully stuck his hands in his pockets, lean and lanky at fifteen years old with a rumpled shirt collar, a hidden dagger strapped to his hip, and messy hair. "Not that many lessons." Their resident pickpocket, after all, was still much better at swiping people's wallets than he was, but Kai quickly sobered up when when Yung gave him a dry stare. "When's our buyer getting here, again?"

"Quarter to eleven." Yung held up his watch, one of the only things Kai had ever learned how to read. "It's almost time now. Another ten minutes or so."

"Good."

Gods above, he wanted to get out of this blasted bank as quickly as possible. He hated all of it, all the jangling coins and people in fine clothes, with their noses in the air. One thin, bald and bearded man was giving him a particularly dirty look, and Kai met his eyes evenly, until the man's daughter—pretty, brunette—tugged on his sleeve and he looked away.

Kai's expression soured. Stupid old man. He got enough of those dirty looks from Zaheer nowadays.

He caught the girl's eye as she glanced back at him, quickly looking away. Another nudge in the ribs from Yung brought him back to the present. "The buyer's here?" he asked absentmindedly, but Yung's face was grave.

"Worse. I think we should get out of here."

Kai craned his neck around the pillars and saw men with thick coats and bulges at the pockets, and quickly understood. In the next few minutes, if not seconds, this was going to be a robbery.

He followed Yung towards the doors, but one of the men stood in front of it, and then there was a gunshot followed by a chorus of screams.

"Everyone on the floor now," one of them barked, wearing a mask like the rest. He saw Kai's face with blazing eyes, and smirked as the pirate didn't sit down like everyone else - even with Yung tugging on the teenager's sleeve. "You got something to say, boy?" There was a creak of the gun as the man rested it with the tip pointing towards the ceiling.

"Just wondering how much of a coward you have to be to hide behind a mask."

The man laughed, and took off his mask. He had a crude, harsh face, weathered and white, but young, leering as he looked back at Kai. The boy's expression hadn't changed from a stony, blazing look, and the man struck him so hard across the face it made him stumble into what was almost a sitting position.

"I like you, kid. I'll kill you last." The man turned his gaze to everyone else. "The name is Canto. We're robbing this here bank, and well, you're all pretty expendable. And valuable. So, if everyone cooperates, unlike this kid, maybe me and my boys won't have to use our guns on any one of you, understand?"

Yung grabbed Kai's shoulders before he could stand up again, while some of the men held open large, empty cloth sacks for everyone to deposit any money or valuables into. At the very least, the robbers had enough sense to know not to ask Kai or Yung for anything, as they had nothing to give.

"Please, that was my grandmother's," came a voice in the distance, and Kai glanced up to see that it was the same girl he'd seen earlier. She had a hand clutching a blue necklace, and he only vaguely recognized that it was Water Tribe because of Nukko's stories from his childhood. "It doesn't have any value—"

She quieted when Canto put the tip of his gun at her throat, lifting up her chin with it. "I guess not. But you do, pretty thing like you. Young. Wealthy. Your father would pay a handsome ransom. And slave traders would too."

Her father bristled. "I am the Governor of this city, you are not—"

"I can do whatever I want, old man." Canto's wolfish smile had vanished. "Don't test me." He grabbed the girl's arm, keeping his gun pointed at her side.

Yung kept his hand on Kai's shoulder. "Kid, don't," he hissed.

Canto took the gun away and pointed it towards them. "No talking, fat man. If your boy has something to say then let him say it."

Kai looked up, his eyes meeting the girl's, her brown eyes trembling with fear though her mouth was drawn in a straight line, as she tried to train her expression into one of calm.

He dove for the gun. For a moment they wrestled with it, hands grappling at hard silver and trying to wrench it out of each other's grasps. He slammed his elbow into Canto's jaw, tried to get a free hand out so he could grab his dagger. The other masked men didn't know what to do, too scared to fire a shot and hit their leader.

The girl managed to get out of Canto's grasp in the struggle, dropping to the floor beside her father, who did his best to shield her. For a moment, Kai's hands were on the gun, as he tried to stay as close to Canto as possible to keep his cohorts from shooting him, when Kai was shoved aside and the gun was pointed at the old bald man.

There was no reason for Kai to get in front of him, other than that he didn't want to think about that girl losing her father and being forced into something awful—okay, so he had a lot of reasons, and knew that Yung had been expecting something like this as soon as the masked men had walked into the building.

In the split second before the gunshot, Kai took out his dagger, stepped in the way, and shoved the blade into Canto's armpit at the same time the trigger was pulled. It was an explosion of pain, luckily only in his shoulder, while Canto howled and staggered backwards. Kai wrenched the gun from his hand—he had never held one before—and figured his aim couldn't be that bad as he fired a shot into Canto's chest. He took out his knife—now this was familiar—and threw it into the chest of another masked man, not even needing to look, the smoking gun in his other hand.

"Does anyone else have any bright ideas?" he said, his voice far steadier than his feet. His weight was starting to multiply, somehow, or at least his head was fuzzy. There was blood on the floor. His blood? He couldn't feel his shoulder anymore.

###

The doors were suddenly opened, and several men and women in green poured in, and someone yelled, "Drop your weapons, it's the APA," before everything went black.

Whatever he was lying on was the softest thing he had ever felt. There were loud voices, but weren't any he recognized. For a moment of panic, he thought he was on the streets again somehow—that the last seven years had been a lie, a dream—and then remembered the way stone or grass had felt on his back was nothing like this. This was cottony, expensive. Probably more expensive than his whole damn life put together.

"Kid?"

Yung. Yeah, if there was a good reason to stick around and wake up, it was Yung. Kai strained against the fatigue resting heavily over his eyes, slowly opening them. His vision was blurry as Yung's worried face swam into view.

"Hey." His throat was dry. "Does this mean I'm grounded again?"

Yung let out a choked laugh, his eyes watering as he nodded. "You really scared me back there, kid, so yeah, you're grounded for awhile. How're you feeling?

"I'm fine. Never…" He yawned, snuggling into the soft mattress. "Never felt better. Hey, where are we?"

"Is he awake?" came a new voice, soft and light like air.

Yung looked back over his shoulder, and it hit Kai that he was in a hospital. A real hospital. For maybe the first time in his entire life. There had been no checkups or doctors at the orphanage, and he didn't know if he had been born in one. He'd probably been born in a gutter, literally. But Longshot was skilled enough they never needed more than a sea witch potion every once in awhile.

"Yeah," said Yung. "You can come in, if you want."

Kai looked up, his throat going dry when he saw the same girl from the bank, her brown eyes wide in concern. "Hello," she said softly, approaching his bedside. "How are you feeling?"

"Great," he managed, which was untrue, even if he was laying in the most comfortable bed he'd ever been in.

"My father and I are very grateful for what you did back there, for us," the girl said, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "Everyone got their belongings back, and, more importantly, everyone's safe. And...I don't know where I would be if you hadn't stepped in. So...thank you."

"No problem, Miss," he managed.

"Jinora," said the girl, glancing down shyly at her hands. "Jinora Gyatso, but just Jinora's fine."

Kai swallowed. "So, uh, are you and your dad okay?" He mentally smacked himself. Of course they were okay. He was in a hospital because he'd made sure they were okay.

"Yes," Jinora said quickly. "Still a bit rattled, but we're fine. The rest of my family's here, as well. I'm sure they'll all want to be in to thank you."

"That's really not necessary," he said, remembering only at the last minute to not reach up and rub the back of his neck, and glanced down at his shoulder, and then at Yung. "Shit—shoot, it got my dominant shoulder?"

"'Fraid so," said Yung, frowning. "You're lucky it wasn't your neck."

Kai puffed out a laugh. "Captain will be happy at least. He's always saying how weak my left side is."

"Still better than most people's dominant side, kid."

Jinora fidgeted with her hands, and quickly stopped. "Your Captain? You're merchants?"

Kai's smile vanished. "Something like that, uh—"

"Oh good. You're awake."

The doctor was a squat, dark haired woman with a round face and a crisp white uniform, flanked by the older man from the bank, the Governor of Republic City. He didn't look as old up close as he did in newspaper photographs, oddly enough. He had sharp eyes and a lined face, with a pointy, neatly trimmed beard, and a high collar around his throat. Maybe he just didn't look so old because he wasn't glaring at Kai anymore—either way, it was strange, making eye contact with the Governor.

The doctor moved forward whereas the Governor stood still, and wasted no time in peeling back some of the sheets and checking the bandages wrapped around his upper chest and shoulder. Having people he didn't know touch him had always been uncomfortable, and this was no exception, but Yung gave him a stern look so he sat as still as he could.

"You're a very lucky young man," the doctor said.

"That's what our medic tells me too," Kai said with a thin smile.

"Well, you're being confined to bed rest for now, but you're allowed to go home in a couple of days, as long as someone's able to take care of you, and make sure you don't strain yourself for the next few days. Have someone change your bandages twice every day for the next two weeks. You should be back on your feet soon, though I don't want you doing anything too strenuous for the next month or so."

Kai frowned; Zaheer had been on his ass to train longer and harder these days, and wouldn't be happy to hear that he would be unable to train at all for over a month. "Can I use my left arm for anything?"

"He's not one to take it easy, is he?" the doctor said, glancing at Yung.

"Not when he's supposed to, no."

"I don't really have a lifestyle that lets me take it easy," said Kai, trying not to get exasperated. "Besides, everyone I live with is going to be busy anyway, maybe our medic can look after me but—"

"Everyone you live with won't mind pulling a little extra weight, kid," said Yung, sighing. "I'll make sure he follows your instructions, Dr. Li."

"Yung—"

"Maybe you could stay at our house?" Jinora piped up, flushing when attention was drawn to her. "We have several extra rooms, it's no trouble at all…" She glanced at her father. "And the least we can do after everything he's done, right?"

"Of course," Tenzin said. "My daughter and I, as well as the rest of our family, owe you a great debt."

"No, it's fine," Kai said quickly. "I don't—I don't need any thanks, really—"

"Your medic can stay with us as well," Jinora said, "and your father, and we have other physicians that can help, and our guest beds are much more comfortable than hospital beds, and you'll always have food brought up to you, and someone to keep your company, if your crew doesn't mind staying here for a little while."

Kai looked to Yung, and then swallowed hard. "Miss, we're pirates. Our Captain is Zaheer of the Waterbender. We're not—I'm not someone you want to be associated with, believe me."

He waited for her expression to change—the disdain that would come into her eyes, and she'd look at him like scum, like something dirty on the edge of her shoe—but the look never came, even if her brow furrowed a little. Her father paled, and frowned, and was suddenly awkward, like he wasn't sure where to go from here.

Then, after clearing his throat, Tenzin said, "Well, we'll...cover any medical expenses, and make sure you're covered on your way out, then."

"Father," Jinora said reproachfully. She looked back at Kai, a sort of fiery determination in her eyes. "Pirate or not, you saved our lives. And you shouldn't be going out there doing… whatever it is pirates do while you're injured. Besides, you—you seem nice enough."

"Aren't you worried that we'll rob you blind?" Kai asked.

"No."

"Then you don't know what you're getting yourself into, Miss. We're a bunch of murderers and thieves and liars—myself included."

Jinora studied him. "Then how do I know you're not lying about that as well?" A soft smile played on her lips, and Kai almost smiled back.

"Nothing has to be set in stone for today," Yung said. "For today, you rest, and I'll go tell the crew what happened. Longshot will come by to take a look at ya, and I'll be back later too." He turned to the doctor. "Dr. Li, if there's any paperwork that needs to be signed, I can do it now."

"Yes, come with me, we can get all the documents in order," she said, leading him out of the room.

To say that it was awkward to be left alone with the Governor and his daughter was an understatement. Kai did his best not to squirm in his seat, even if he scratched idly at the newest tattoo on his arm, one of a ship on rolling waves, inked into his skin about three months ago.

He took a deep breath, keeping his head down. "Look, sir, you honestly don't owe me anything. If I hadn't grabbed Canto's gun in the first place none of this would have happened. I don't even need to be in this hospital, my medic back home has patched me up from worse wounds before. I'll be out of your hair in no time. I don't want any trouble."

"If you hadn't done something, I might be on a ship somewhere getting sold to the highest bidder," Jinora said. She looked at her father. "Please, we can start in a couple days. And it's not like anyone has to know that he's a… a pirate. He's not well known."

Tenzin's brow furrowed. "I'll speak with your mother about this, in the meantime… we'll have to see what action is the best one forward. For all those involved."

Jinora pouted slightly. "Fine. But we'll be back tomorrow."

"Very well." Tenzin smoothed down his beard. "Jinora, I have an associate here that I need to speak with before we leave. I'll come collect you in a moment."

Jinora rubbed her arm as her father left, and then looked at Kai. "I've um, never met a pirate before."

"I've never met someone as rich as you," he replied, feeling a little lightheaded as she turned those big brown eyes on him. "Or as pretty."

She bit back a smile, her cheeks turning a lovely shade of pink. "I'd figured pirates would be running into pretty girls all the time."

"None like you, Miss," he said, his voice soft, and her smile brightened.

"I really do wish you'd stay," she said.

"We're not the type of people to stay in one place for very long."

"Then just stay long enough to fully recover. If you think about it, taking time to rest in the best conditions for recovery might help you heal more quickly than getting onto the ship right away, and might actually save you time in the long run."

"I don't think I'm going to have a very long life. Just ask Yung. I'm turning him grey all the time."

Jinora frowned, but tilted her head at him. "Is that why you jumped in front of the gun?"

He nodded. "Figured if I ended up saving a couple lives that were more worthwhile, it wouldn't be such a bad way to go."

Her frown deepened. "Is—why do you call your father by his first name?"

"Oh, he's not my father." Kai picked at the sheets of his bed. "He's the first mate, and...well, he's the closest thing I've ever had to a dad."

"Oh." She glanced away from him. "A-and your...family?"

"Gone. Unless you count the crew."

"I see."

Kai frowned when he caught the look on her face. "I don't want your pity, Miss."

Jinora's mouth went ajar. "I'm not—"

"Yes, you are." Kai sighed, leaning back into his pillows. "I'm fine with my lot in life, Miss. You don't need to change it."

"At least let me make it easier on you when you go back to it." She frowned. "And I told you, just Jinora is fine."

"Force of habit, ma'am."

A smile tugged at her mouth, as she wrinkled her nose at him. He looked far too pleased with himself. "What's your name, anyhow?"

"Kai."

"Well then, Kai, I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow."

###

Dinner was mostly over, with her younger siblings already excused and some of the maids collecting the dishes and leftover piles of food scraps, when Pema saw her daughter and husband in a kind of silent stare off for one tense, almost trembling, moment, before it broke.

"Dad—"

"He's a pirate, Jinora."

"The young man from the bank?" Pema asked, and they both softened as she came into the room.

"Mom, please, tell him. He saved our lives, the least we can do is let him stay for a little bit!"

"And have him and his crew rob us blind?"

"Why would someone who was willing to throw himself in front of a loaded gun for us rob us afterwards? He's my age and he doesn't have any family or money—this is the least we can do after he took a bullet for us and nearly died."

"He's nice?" Pema asked her, almost smiling, and Tenzin groaned.

"Very nice," Jinora confirmed. "Almost...sweet, in his own way. Not at all how I thought a pirate would be. The first mate is nice too—I thought he was Kai's father at first."

"Kai?" Tenzin repeated.

"His name."

"Goodness, dear," said Pema, "you didn't even ask for his name?"

"It slipped my mind when he revealed himself as a murderer and a thief—"

"Dad!"

"He killed two men without so much as flinching right there in the bank, Jinora. Clearly he's used to it."

"Two men who would've killed far more people or done even worse! A real murderer or thief wouldn't have alerted us to the fact as soon as we'd opened our doors to them."

Tenzin soured. "He has tattoos," he said despairingly.

Jinora crossed her arms. "And?"

"It doesn't seem like he'll accept our offer, if we decide to give one, anyway."

"That doesn't mean we shouldn't offer it." Jinora looked to Pema. "Mother, please."

"Give us a moment?" Pema asked. Jinora sighed, then left the dining room, her head bowed slightly. "Tenzin, dear, I don't think you're thinking rationally."

"Neither is she," Tenzin said grumpily. "She's spoken two words to the boy and it's like she's smitten, or—"

Pema smiled. "And maybe that's the real reason you don't want him in our home?"

"What?"

"You think he's dangerous for more than one reason, dear, but he's just a boy, and our daughter is very smart. Besides, if we give this boy a chance...maybe he'll make something of himself beyond a pirate. Maybe he's just never been given the chance to be anything else. We could make a real difference. And politically, this would be good publicity for you. They're already calling him a hero in the papers, I don't think the public will accept that he's a pirate even if he's a terrible one, until he proves it."

"And if he robs us?"

"Even an entire crew couldn't carry away all our belongings. And isn't helping a boy in need worth the risk? He's only a year older than our daughter. He's still young, Tenzin."

Tenzin sighed. His wife was right, like usual. "I'll have some of the maids get some rooms ready, and see if they'll agree to moving in within the next two days."

Pema smiled, seemingly satisfied, before pecking him on his bony cheek and leaving the dining room, calling out, "Jinora!"

Tenzin sank back down into one of the chair and buried his head in his hands. What were they getting themselves into?

###

A short, square faced man with a bald head and alert eyes was already at the hospital when Jinora and Tenzin arrived. Yangchen Hospital was one of the best ones in the city, and was flocked with reporters when they managed to elbow their way in, and Dr. Li and Nurse Chang led them up to the boy's small room. Yung was sitting by the bed, but the new man was standing, frowning, while Kai was attentive, his cheeks more coloured than they had been.

"A month," the man said tartly, sounding unhappy about it.

"I'm not any happier than you are about it," said Kai. "But those are the doctor's orders, if I don't want to reopen the wound."

"Longshot was already in and agrees with the doctor," Yung said. "If there was any other way around it—"

"There's always a sea witch potion to speed things along," the man said. "But we know the kid loves sitting on his lazy ass all day."

"Not fucking true," Kai grumbled. "You really want to go to the trouble of finding a sea witch potion and getting us in debt again?"

The man frowned. "We wouldn't be in debt if you hadn't—"

"Look, the Governor's here," said Yung suddenly, a tad too brightly, and they stopped glaring at each other.

"...Kai, is it?" the governor asked, and Kai nodded. "How...how are you feeling?"

"As well as I can, sir," Kai said. He glanced over at Jinora, who seemed to be bouncing on the balls of her feet. "Um, this is my Captain, sir. Captain Zaheer."

Zaheer turned to the Governor. "So you're the one the boy got shot for."

Kai frowned. "Captain—"

"Shut up, boy. Now, Governor, this boy here is one of my best sword fighters. I don't like the idea of him being out of commission for a month, out on the high seas. He's never had to stay out of raids before."

"And I'm sorry about that inconvenience, Captain," said Tenzin. "But, if you let me speak, I think we could find an alternative that suits both of us."

Zaheer crossed his arms, the scars on his forearms protruding. "I'm listening."

"Kai will stay at my home with Air Temple Island, along with some of your crew, if you wish. He'll spend his month in recovery...learning, I suppose, and then attend a boarding school this coming September. He can have a new life, if he so chooses."

"What?" both Zaheer and Kai burst.

"Sir," Kai began, a hitch in his voice, "I've never been to school before. I don't know anything, I can't—"

"We'd help you learn, if you want, and could hire the best tutors to get you up to speed."

"And what about the crimes held against him?" said Zaheer impatiently. "Murder, theft. Arson."

Kai managed an annoyed look with Yung. "One time," he mumbled.

"As he's a minor, and not well known, those charges can be dropped."

"You expect me to give up one of my best sword fighters so he can, what, go to school?" said Zaheer.

"He's not your weapon, Zaheer," said Yung tersely. "And he deserves to have options. A chance at different, probably better, life."

"He wouldn't have this life if it wasn't for me—"

"After I took him in," Yung said firmly. "And if he wants something different, we shouldn't stop him." He glanced at the teen. "Kid?"

Kai had his head in his hands. "Just...let me think. Okay? I don't…" He sighed. "Just let my arm heal, and...we'll see?" He looked desperately at Yung. "Just stay with me?"

"Of course, kid." Yung squeezed his uninjured arm. "Just give me a moment. Captain, I'd like a word with you. Privately."

Zaheer frowned, but nodded, walking out of the hospital room with Yung. Once again, Kai was left alone with the Governor and his daughter.

Jinora sat down next to Kai. "You know, boarding school is actually kind of fun," she said. "You don't have to go, but...it'd be nice to have a friend around. I have friends at boarding school, and I could introduce you to them, too. And I could help you with your homework, and there's a really good bakery just five minutes away from campus, and we could walk there every day, and…" She flushed.

"I'm not good at school," Kai said quietly. "I can't read or, or anything. I kind of know numbers. And I've never gotten along well with kids my age anyway."

"You get along well with me," she said. "And I can help you learn to read, and my father knows the best tutors. And besides, you won't have to go right away. Home will be fun too, and I can teach you how to read a bunch of different books, and—"

"Why are you doing all of this?" Kai asked, but he looked at the Governor when he said it. "Press got word of what happened? I don't want to be used as a publicity stunt."

"You're not," the Governor said. "It was...actually my wife and daughter's idea."

Kai looked at Jinora. "What—?"

"When my father decided to let you stay over, my mother and I started talking about how it might be nice to give you some options, if you wanted, with how nice you are, and you seem smart enough, and…"

"I'm sorry, I'm very thankful, it's just a lot to take in."

"Well, at least stay for the month?" Jinora asked. "We already have some rooms prepared for you and your fath—I mean, Yung, and whoever else you want to stay with you."

"I still have to talk it over with my crew and Captain," he said glumly, not looking forward to that conversation.

"Well, I hope you can stay," Jinora said, her cheeks tinged a soft pink as she smiled slightly.

Tenzin frowned deeply. "Jinora, your mother will be coming to visit, so once she's here I'll be leaving to attend to other business. In the meantime, I'm going down to the cafe to get some food. Is there anything either of you want?"

"Maybe some tea," said Jinora.

"And Kai?"

He looked startled at being spoken to. "Nothing for me sir, but thank you."

"If you're sure," Tenzin said. He glanced at them both cautiously before leaving. He had only taken a few steps when he heard the shouting.

"Look, you've always been overprotective, and he's not a little boy anymore—he needs to pull his own weight—"

"He's been more than pulling his own weight with all the shit you put him through in the name of your godforsaken training! He's a boy, not your weapon—"

"And he would do well to remember his place on my ship!"

"As what, a decision you were willing to call a mistake first chance you got?!"

"You're lucky I let you keep him on at all—"

"It's his decision if he wants to go. And if he decides to go then I'll go with him. You've never given a shit about his wellbeing and it's no wonder you think he's being so 'disrespectful' all the time!"

"If you go, there's no place back on the ship for you."

"Fine. I don't care. I won't let you make him throw this opportunity away."

"We both know I won't be the one he throws it away for."

Yung quieted, and then noticed Tenzin lurking in the doorway. "Governor," he greeted curtly. "How uh—how much of that did you hear?"

"Not much," Tenzin lied. "I'm getting some food from the cafe nearby, would either of you like anything?"

"No," said Yung quickly. "I should uh, be getting back to my boy. 'Scuse me." And he pushed past Tenzin and down the hallway opposite the way he had come.

Zaheer muttered, "Blasted old man," fishing a cigarette out of his pocket. "Some first mate."

Tenzin frowned slightly, but walked on past him, headed for the cafe. Maybe putting this boy into school wouldn't be such a bad idea.

###

Pema came to the hospital the day before Dr. Li had said Kai could be released. She was warm and pleasant, Kai found, introducing herself while offering him a plate of homemade cookies, and rather weepy, too, grateful that her husband and daughter were alive and well. He kept trying to play it off, a little embarrassed that someone so nice was already giving him so much positive attention, but she was grateful nonetheless, asking him about his favourite foods and what he liked to do for fun.

It was a hard question to answer because most of the things he did for fun—pickpocketing, drinking, sometimes gambling with Zedd—were all illegal and probably not what she wanted to hear.

"I dunno," he said finally. "I guess I like stargazing. I mean, I'm good at it. Not as good as our navigator, Otaku, or Lefty, but…" he shrugged.

"Speaking of Lefty," Yung interjected, "him and Longshot are coming by today to see you."

Kai's face brightened. "When?"

"Later this evening. Lefty said he'd bring you beer to numb the pain, but," they shared a grin, "he'll probably end up drinking it on the way over."

Pema smiled uncertainly. "Lefty is…?"

"One of our crew," said Kai. "He uh, drinks a lot, but he can hold his liquor really well, honest."

Pema glanced down. "And when exactly did you start drinking, Kai?" she asked carefully, not sounding angry, or disdainful, but… her tone was teetering on the edge of something.

He glanced nervously at Yung. If Pema had been able to convince her husband, along with Jinora, to pay for his bills and send him to school, would she also be able to convince him otherwise if she decided she disapproved after all?

"Beer is much cheaper than water," said Yung with a reassuring smile. "And isn't nearly as useful for chores. He's been drinking responsibly since he was about thirteen."

"You supervise his drinking?" Pema asked Yung carefully.

"Of course. There's not a lot of places to hide that sort of thing on the ship, and we're all of drinking age ourselves. He's the baby."

"Am not."

"Relative to us, yes you are," Yung said, failing to hide the affection in his tone. Pema's features eased.

"Well, as long as he does it responsibly," said Pema. She glanced at Kai. "Though you know, if you take our offer to go to boarding school, absolutely no drinking is allowed?"

"Yes, ma'am," Kai said quickly. "I prefer water anyway."

Pema's smile returned. "Well, then, you should be able to adjust perfectly fine over there. And it's not to start for another month or so, so we'll have plenty of time to get you up to speed."

Kai went to rub the back of his neck, before remembering that it required using his injured shoulder. "That's very kind of you, ma'am, but I uh, I haven't actually decided what I'm doing yet," he said, trying not to mumble.

"Don't you want to go to school?"

He was mumbling now, as he shrugged. "I dunno. I've never been before."

"The boarding school we'd send you to, if you decide to go, is one of the best in the world," Pema said. "And there are lots of extracurriculars, pai sho, fencing-"

He perked up. "Fencing? That's like sword fighting, right?"

"I suppose it is," said Pema. "You enjoy it?"

"Yeah. I mean, I'm good at it. About the only thing I'm good at."

Yung frowned at him. "He's being modest," the first mate said, turning to Pema. "He's the best I've ever seen, besides our Captain who's three times his age. Cap is still teaching him, but it won't be long now before Kai overtakes him in skill level."

"Yung," Kai mumbled quietly, his ears glowing red. Yung chuckled, gently ruffling Kai's hair.

"Do you have any more questions, Mrs. Gyatso?" Yung asked.

"Yes, actually," Pema said slowly. "Although it might be better if I spoke to you privately outside?"

"Oh, um…" Yung glanced at Kai. "You'll be okay here, kid?"

"Yeah. Lefty and Longshot are coming soon?"

"In a few hours, but I should be back before then."

"Okay." He laid back against the soft mattress. "I can nap a bit, then. I've been getting better sleep than I thought was possible for anyone."

Yung smiled softly. "Just rest, kid."

Kai closed his eyes. "No problem," he mumbled, and Yung stole one last glance at him, before following Pema out of the room.

"He's a good kid, once he gets used to you," said Yung, as they let the door swing shut. "He's skittish at first, I know, but—"

"I actually wanted to ask about his family," said Pema softly.

Yung's trying smile faded. "Oh. Well, there's not much to talk about on that front. His parents are dead."

"Oh…" Pema glanced at the hospital room's doorway. "That poor boy."

"I don't know what happened, or how much he remembers, just that...his parents died when he was really young, most likely. If he remembers anything, I suspect he tries not to. I know he was on his own until I found him, when he was nine."

"Jinora told me that he doesn't know how to read," Pema said softly.

"None of us really get the chance to teach him, the Captain's so hard on him. And, to be honest, most of us can't read much more than a few words ourselves. Our navigator's tried in the past, but Kai hasn't really had the patience for it. He's great with numbers though, and stars, map reading."

Pema smiled. "Our youngest likes stars as well, although he's only four."

"Oh, Kai's great with younger kids. He'll never admit to it, though. Our of crew, Appa, has a little nephew named Momo who dotes on his every move, and Kai always makes time to see him whenever we stop by and visit, even if there are probably a lot of things that are far more interesting to a teenager there. Like pretty girls." Yung chuckled.

Pema's smile grew. "That reminds me, it… seems like my daughter is nursing a crush on him?"

Yung grinned. "Seems it's mutual, then. My boy won't admit it, but I know him." His smile faltered. "Will that, er, effect your decision to send him to school?"

"Of course not. There are far worse boys for my daughter to become smitten with, surely. And they have separate, locked dorms, anyway."

Yung decided not to tell her that Kai had been adept at picking locks for years (he blamed Tyyo). "That said, let's keep this between us? I'm sure your husband wouldn't be as pleased to find out about it."

"Oh, he already knows, and is happy to live in denial for as long as possible."

Yung smiled slightly. "Alright then. Is there anything else, Mrs. Gyatso?"

Pema thought for a moment. "If he stays, will you stay with him?"

"Am I allowed?"

"Well, you have been his main guardian for this long… It wouldn't do to separate you, now would it?" Pema smiled. "And you can stay as long as you like even when he's off at boarding school, if he decides to go."

"Thank you." Yung hesitated. "I don't want to be the reason he stays behind. It's been just me and him, and everyone else, of course, but… just us for so long, and I know he worries about me, especially with Zaheer, but… I've given him the best life I could with what I was given. I just don't think it's been enough."

"You gave him all you could. That's everything. And now…. we can help you give him even more. You've raised a good boy, Mister…?"

"Yung is fine, but my last name is Tashi, for future reference." His eyes crinkled. "Thank you, Mrs. Gyatso."

"Call me Pema."

Yung inclined his head. "Thank you, Pema. I...I really hope he decides to take you up on your offer. I'll do everything I can to convince him." He smiled softly. "My boy, well-educated with the world at his fingertips. He'll do great things. He has a kind heart, you know."

"He jumped in front of strangers to protect them from a bullet. I already know."

###

It almost felt like Yung was exchanging one parent for another, as when Pema left her husband came to replace her. The Governor had only been there for a few minutes, getting through mandatory small talk—"How are you feeling?"—and an update from the doctors before Lefty and Longshot barged in. Or rather, Lefty dragged the medic along with him.

"How's the hero doing?" Lefty said loudly, ruffling Kai's hair and pushing a half-empty beer bottle and a box of cigarettes into his hands. Yung almost smiled—clearly, Lefty had actually shown some restraint with the beer. "Thought the cigarettes might loosen up the pain a bit."

"He shouldn't be smoking at all," Longshot tutted, striding forward to inspect the way the bandages were wrapped around his shoulder. Lefty tossed him a lighter when Longshot wasn't looking.

Tenzin's eyebrows shot up. "You smoke?"

Kai froze, looking very much like a little boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "Um...sometimes?"

"You—if you are to stay in my home, you understand you're not to bring those things anywhere near the house? And—"

"I'm sorry, sir, I'll—" Kai quickly gave the cigarette box back to Lefty.

"Please, it's not like he'd share 'em," said Lefty with a shrug. "These things are expensive, but there's nothing wrong with a lil' smoke now and again. Takes the edge off when we're waiting to be attacked."

Tenzin took a deep breath. "Kai, I'm not in charge of you, but you should know that there are certain rules you will be expected to follow while staying in my home."

"I understand, sir. Captain has lots of rules."

"And clearly not smoking isn't one of them," Tenzin muttered under his breath. "I'm just...concerned about my family breathing in the smoke, especially—"

"Don't worry about it, sir, it won't come within even a mile of the place. But um… can I keep my dagger with me?"

Tenzin narrowed his eyes. "Why would you need to bring a dagger with you?"

"Um...I can't sleep without knowing it's near. I won't take it out unless I absolutely have to, I swear. I just, I've had it for a long time, and it… I don't like going anywhere unarmed."

Tenzin caught Yung's eyes, then sighed. "Alright, you may keep your dagger, as long as it's stowed away at all times. I have a four year old and I don't want him finding anything he can hurt himself with, and my other son is… not the best at thinking things like that through, with all his pride."

"Don't worry sir. It'll stay under my pillow in the house. I won't take it out unless I'm going into town."

"And…" Tenzin eyed the beer. "There will be more restrictions on your drinking. However, considering that we do allow Jinora wine at dinner...you are allowed one bottle, when we all eat together. Is that a fair compromise?"

Kai nodded. "Yes. Thank you sir."

Longshot finished inspecting him. "Well, you've been actually following the doctor's instructions, for once. How come you never listen to me like that?"

"Because Zaheer won't let me?" Kai suggested.

"Kai," said Yung warningly.

"He's not here, Yung, relax."

"He's already angry that he's losing the labour you do whenever we dock, and that he can't put you in street fights anymore, the last thing you need is to make him angrier. Remember why we were at the bank in the first place?" Kai pouted, but stayed silent, and Yung sighed, ruffling his hair. "Chin up. You get to come home tomorrow."

"And when we stay at the Gyatsos'...you're staying with me, right?" Kai asked.

Yung poked him in the chest. "Of course, kid. Wherever you go, I go, remember?"

Kai looked thoroughly relieved. "Okay. Good."

"And this means we'll be giving you a bit of a goodbye party, kid," said Lefty. "Daw's got moon peach pie ready to go, and well, it's not goodbye goodbye until you leave for school, you little shit, but you know what I mean."

Kai smiled. "I know you'll get drunk off your ass, you fat bastard."

Lefty laughed heartily. "Still got that mouth on you. Don't lose it, kid."

"Around you? Never." Kai glanced up when he heard Tenzin clear his throat. "Though of course I'll make sure not to use such crass language around the kids or at school," he added immediately.

"Nice save," said Lefty, and Kai resisted the urge to give him the finger.

"Yes, I will hold you to that," Tenzin said, a little stiff, but not unkind or as distrusting as before. "And...you've decided, that you'll go to school?"

Kai glanced at Yung, then turned back to Tenzin. "Um...I'm seriously considering it. It'd be nice to learn how to read a little better, help out the rest of the crew too. And Mrs. Gyatso told me there'd be fencing."

"Yes, there is. Jinora took fencing at her middle school, in fact. Once you've adjusted to living on the estate, we can begin your lessons, to get you up to speed as much as we can before the school year begins."

"Thank you, sir."

"Zaheer gave us a message, though," said Lefty sourly. Maybe the use of 'sir' had made him remember. "Yung, in the hall?"

"Why can't I hear it?" asked Kai.

"Because I say so. Longshot, make sure he doesn't do anything dumb." Lefty's brown eyes flickered between Yung and Tenzin. "Governor, you might want to come along for this."

Tenzin hesitated, but followed them out anyway. Lefty made sure the door was shut, before leading the other two a little ways down the hallway. "Cap wanted me to ask about what the security is like at the boarding school. How often the kids get to leave, stuff like that."

A crease formed in Tenzin's brow. "It's quite secure. The children are rarely allowed to leave completely unsupervised. There's a town near the school that they're allowed go to on the last weekend of every month, so long as they behave."

Yung frowned, gears turning in his head as he crossed his arms over his chest. "And why exactly does Zaheer want to know that? It's not like he'll miss Kai all that much."

"He's heard that there's a street gang that runs fights there," said Lefty.

Yung cursed under his breath. "He can't be serious."

"Serious as day."

"Will one of you fill me in on what you're talking about?" Tenzin said impatiently.

Yung sighed. "Captain wants Kai to go compete in the street fights in his free time. To earn cash."

Tenzin's brows shot up to his bald forehead. "He encourages that behavior?"

"Unfortunately."

"Well, it certainly won't be tolerated when he's off at school. There's only so much I can do to keep him from getting expelled if he participates in such behavior."

"It's not like Kai wants to," Yung said sharply. "Even if he does win most of the time. Cap's out of his mind. It's one thing to do fights when one of us is also there if he wins badly, because we're there to make sure he gets home okay, but if he's going out all by himself…"

"I asked Appa and Imaru and they said they've heard the rings mostly seem to be knife fights," added Lefty.

"Well God knows that's Kai's specialty," Yung snapped. "We'll just tell Captain no. We'll just say there is no way in hell that Kai is getting involved in those sorts of things when none of us are there to bail him out."

"Because Captain responds so well to hearing the word no," Lefty said dryly.

"Do I look like I care? I'll deal with him, however he responds. Kai's not fighting out there."

"Alright. I'll pray for you, buddy."

"Very helpful, Akash. Truly. Now get back in there, and don't let anything slip, okay?"

"Alright." Lefty clapped him on the shoulder, and headed back down the hallway as Yung dragged a hand down his face.

"God I really hate Zaheer sometimes," he muttered under his breath. He suddenly looked much older, even if he couldn't have been more than in his mid thirties.

"Your Captain...really isn't good to any of you, is he?"

"We're adults, we can take it," Yung said. "It's just Kai… Zaheer didn't even want him, and now he's using him to make quick cash with no regard for his wellbeing, and… Zaheer cares for him in his own way, he does. But he also doesn't see Kai as a little boy, and I know he's not a little boy but he's still a kid, and…" Yung shook his head. "That's why I want him to take the chance you've offered him. So that he can have a better, safer life that ends with him somewhere other than dead or in jail. So he can worry about kids things should worry about, like homework or his next fencing match or what he and his friends are going to do over the weekend. Not fighting for scraps someone else is going to take."

"You really care for him," Tenzin said softly. He tried to imagine being in Yung's place, worrying about someone else using Meelo or Rohan, and found he both couldn't, and that it made him ill to even try.

"The worst part is Kai will just take it. If Zaheer tells him to do it… he'll do it until he can't anymore. I still remember the first time he got sick, but he didn't want any of us to know. He...he worked himself until he passed out right there on the deck." Yung sighed. "He was asleep for half a day, Longshot and I had to keep him pinned down when he woke up to keep him from working. It's not even to please Zaheer. It's to make it easier on all of us. He doesn't know how to, to not worry about earning his keep."

"Would Zaheer ever kick him off?"

"He's threatened it, mostly in the first year he was with us. It's an empty threat now, but… before now it wasn't like Kai had anywhere else to go. Not that I'd let him go on his own."

"Well...he'll always have a place with us," Tenzin said, not quite sure why he was saying so, "even if he doesn't decide to go to the boarding school."

"Thank you," Yung said. "But I really hope he goes to that boarding school. He's a smart kid. He's a good leader."

"Resilient, hopefully. I don't think the adjustment will be easy for him."

Yung smiled grimly. "Don't worry, Governor. Almost nothing has been."


	2. The Gyatso Estate

CHAPTER TWO: The Gyatso Estate

Kai had never seen such a green, bare lawn.

He'd seen topiaries like the ones lining the outside of the main entrance, and tiles of some kind of fancy stone paving the pathway to the large, mahogany door, but never had he seen such a clean lawn. The estate was perfect and pristine, and he'd only seen the outside.

He glanced at Yung, feeling even smaller than the small box of his things in his good arm. He hadn't had much to pack up: a few photographs, a tiny six-legged bison statue Yung had gotten him, all the money he had on him, shirts and clothes that were hand-me-downs that he'd outgrow in a few months, if his growth spurts kept coming.

Still, his height was nothing compared to Tenzin's, nor of the mansion looming ahead of them. It was big enough to fit three times the size of their crew and still have enough space for another sixty people leftover, at least. Four kids had sounded like a big family to him at first, but looking at the house now, Kai figured rich people were actually aiming for more mouths to feed. As long as they were kin, anyway.

Kai stepped up with the door with Yung behind him, freezing when it opened. A man in a fancy black blazer opened the door, with brass golden buttons along the golden embroidered hems.

"How many I help you?" the servant asked, wrinkling his nose as he eyed them up and down. Clearly he wasn't impressed.

"Oh, there you are," came Jinora's voice, and then, louder, "Father, they're here."

She flounced to the door, wearing a pretty dress of pale yellow that she quickly smoothed over. Her hair was done up in a bun with some strands framing her face. "Gashun, this is Kai of the _Waterbender_ , and his friend Yung. The boy who saved my life, remember?"

"I see. You're...having them stay here?"

"Of course. I know I told you the day before last. Could you have some of the servants carry their things up to the guest wing? And make sure something's ready for them in the dining hall?"

"Of course, Miss Gyatso."

"Oh, we don't need someone to carry our things," said Kai hastily. "There's barely anything, actually." He lifted up the bag and box in his hands for emphasis.

Jinora slowly smiled, arching an eyebrow. "You've never been served before, have you?" She sounded almost amused.

"Not by anyone but a bartender," said Kai, although he didn't seem as nervous now.

Jinora smiled. "They'll make sure your things are safe, I promise. You're still injured, you shouldn't be carrying all that around."

Kai grinned. "It almost sounds like you care," he teased.

"Well, it'd be irresponsible to let the man who saved my life get injured again on my behalf," she said, mock-serious.

"I guess I can't be the reason you were irresponsible," he said, his grin growing. He gave the servant that took his things a polite nod, before Jinora took his arm and tugged him inside.

She kept moving towards the dining room when his feet stopped, and she slowed down to look at him. "Kai?" He was looking around at everything with wide eyes: the fine portraits on the wall, photographed and painted, the clean white walls and polished wooden floors. The fine things scattered about, like an expensive ceramic bowl on a hallway cabinet, both of which were just for decoration. Her cheeks turned pink. "Uh, right. I guess you've never been in a mansion before."

He looked at her, his eyes still wide. "I've never been in a house before," he said, still slightly in awe.

Jinora swallowed. "Um...is it still alright if I show you around? And then I can take you up to your room. I suppose you must still need to rest."

"I am tired from last night." He may have gone a little overboard with the alcohol, but so had everyone else, but he was used to working on less sleep. "But I'm fine. C'mon. Show me how the other half lives."

"Your house is beautiful," Yung complimented, having fun with the way they both seemed startled when they remembered he was there at all.

"Thank you!" Jinora said, a little flushed. "And it belongs to both of you now, too, for as long as you both want. Now, where to first? There's the first floor tea room, which is the nicest tea room, the library, my reading room, the music room, the first floor indoor pool—"

"Why don't you show us your favorite rooms? We'll ask around if we need to find anything else," Kai said. "Exploring could be a good pastime. Islands are always fun like that."

"Just make sure you don't explore your way into my dad's study," she warned. "That's where he keeps his political papers. He barely even lets my mother in there."

"Sounds boring anyway," Kai said with a slight grin, and Jinora let out a soft laugh. "Where to first?"

###

Kai had never seen so many books before in his life, but it might have been more exciting if he had actually known how to read.

"This is the main library," Jinora said. "But we'll do the tutoring in my reading room, since it's a little smaller. I know it looks like a lot, but you'll be able to navigate this place in no time. Everything is organized alphabetically, and according to genre, and… it's one of my favourite places."

Kai watched as she led them around the room, showing them different areas and the most comfortable armchairs and he couldn't help but smile to himself as her face shone with excitement, and a kind of gentle wonder. She really was cute, after all. Adorable, even.

A bell rang and Jinora looked up at the sound. "Oh, that means that there's food on the table for you two. Usually they only ring it at meals, there's a bell wired around in each room, so you'll hear it wherever you are. If you'd prefer to bring it up to your rooms, you're allowed, just don't let Meelo or Rohan know you can. They'll both make a mess everywhere if they think they're allowed."

"Oh, um, alright," Kai stammered. "Thank you, and...if you want, I'd be happy to follow you around for a continued tour?"

Jinora smiled, her cheeks a soft, pretty pink, like panda lilies in bloom. "I'd like that. But for now, I can take you back down to the dining?"

"Lead the way." He followed her out, shooting Yung a glare when he caught the older man's knowing grin.

The dining room, it turned out, was a larger more formal space that was fairly close to the tea room. Kai figured they could fit the entire crew in the dining room, with enough space to breathe. The table was as polished as everything else, with a platter of finger sandwiches full of ham and cheese and egg salad that looked more expensive than anything he had eaten in his whole life (except, maybe, that steak he and Tyyo had stolen once when he was fourteen).

"I think I'll go speak with your parents, Jinora, if you don't mind," said Yung. "Is there anything place I should go?"

Jinora directed him to the tea room, and he grabbed a few finger sandwiches as he left.

There was a sudden burst of footsteps, and before Kai could ask, he saw three blurs of red and orange with brown hair speed into the room, two boys and a girl. The older boy elbowed the younger one, who was maybe five, out of his way. The younger boy toppled over, his face crumpling as his bottom lip trembled.

Kai rushed towards him, helping him up onto his feet. "You okay, kid?"

"Meelo," Jinora scolded. "You know you're not supposed to roughhouse with Rohan."

"I wasn't!" Meelo whined. "He's too slow."

"Then you have to wait for him. You know he's smaller than you."

Kai searched Rohan's face. "Anything hurt?"

Rohan shook his head. "Thank you." He sniffled. "I wish I was bigger."

"You've got a lot of time to get bigger, don't worry. C'mon, you hungry?"

Rohan pulled himself up onto one of the chairs, getting on his knees to reach over and grab a finger sandwich. Even sitting down, his feet didn't touch the ground. Before Kai could take a sandwich for himself, he found Meelo and Jinora's younger sister swarming him, both with excited looks on their faces. Meelo was maybe ten, and Ikki twelve, her hair done up in pigtails, but she had Jinora's nose, and he could see the family resemblance between all of them.

If his sister was around, would everyone else be able to see the resemblance between them, too?

"Is it true you're a pirate?" asked the younger sister. "Do you sail on a ship? Is it moored outside? Do you have a sword? Do you have tattoos? Have you ever seen any sirens?" she said this all very fast.

"Listen here, buster," Meelo began, and Kai nearly laughed at the way he puffed out his chest. "Ikki should know this, but I ask the questions around here, since I'm the junior man of the house."

"Of course," said Kai, as seriously as he could. It didn't help that he could see Jinora biting back a smile over her brother's shoulder.

"What's your business here?" Meelo demanded, his 10-year-old voice squeaking slightly, making it even more difficult for Kai not to laugh.

"I'm, um—"

"Meelo, I asked first!" Ikki said indignantly.

"But I'm the junior man of the house!"

"I'm older than you!"

"And I told both of you to handle this calmly," said Jinora irritably. "Meelo, you don't need to interrogate Kai, and Ikki, he has more important things to do than answer all your silly questions."

They both pouted, and Ikki crossed her arms over her chest, when Kai said, "I don't mind answering a few. While I eat, that is."

Their eyes shot back to him, wide with excitement as they both fought for the seat next to him, Jinora having taken the other one.

"Um—well—" Kai began, trying to keep up with their smattering of questions, "I'm from the _Waterbender_ , we haven't seen sirens yet, I have three tattoos, and yes I have—I had a sword." He frowned slightly, missing the familiar weight of his trusty weapon. "I just have a dagger now."

"Ooh, cool," chirped Meelo. "Have you ever stabbed someone with it?"

Kai blinked. "Yes? It's not for decoration."

"Were they okay afterwards?" asked Rohan.

"Yeah, they just had to rest for a while," he winced, "sometimes forever, but uh—anyway, do you all go to boarding school with your sister?"

"No, Meelo and I go to the primary boarding school here in the city," Ikki said with a pout. "But I'll be there next year."

"I'm too little," Rohan said, and Kai smiled.

"You'll miss not having to go to school once you're there," he said. "I've heard there's a lot of homework."

"Are you implying that you're not excited to go to school with me?" Jinora teased.

"Actually, that's the thing that makes all the homework seem okay." He laughed when Jinora shoved him in his uninjured arm.

"Did you really get shot?" Meelo said.

"Shot?" Rohan's bottom lip quivered. "Did it hurt?"

"Yeah, and...yeah, it did hurt," Kai admitted. "But the nurses and doctors took real good care of me, so I'm okay. Just can't move my right shoulder for a bit. I've never been shot before though, so I guess there's a first time for everything. But you'll be alright. You're not a pirate."

"You sure?" Rohan asked quietly.

"Yeah. And you've got all of us to protect you, anyway."

Rohan gave him a small smile. "You mean it?"

"Of course he does," Jinora said. "Kai kept me and Dad from getting shot."

"He did?"

"Mmhmm. That's why he was in the hospital."

Rohan looked up at Kai with eyes as wide as saucers. "Wow. You're a hero!"

Kai shifted in his seat. "I'm really not."

"Well thank you for saving daddy and Jinora. She's my favourite."

That coaxed a smile out of him. "Yeah. She's mine too." He glanced at her, a little relieved when she didn't seem to have heard him, instead scolding Meelo over something.

"You'll make sure she's okay when you have to go to school?" Rohan asked. "I miss her every time she goes away."

"Oh, um...of course I will."

"Pinky promise?" Rohan stuck out a small, chubby pinky, and Kai's smile grew as he hooked his much larger, bonier one around it.

"Pinky promise."

"Why are you making a pinky promise?" asked Ikki, startling both of them, and loud enough to make Jinora look up. "Don't pirates use blood oaths?"

Kai blinked, and then shrugged. "Only when making pacts between rival ships. Or sea witches, sometimes."

"Have you ever made one?" said Meelo, sounding as though he sincerely doubted it, as though Kai wasn't 'man' enough.

"Yes."

"When?"

"We were in debt to a sea witch for a while. Captain used my life as a sign of his word. We paid it off a few months later and the scar went away after that."

Jinora placed a hand over her mouth. "And what would have happened if he had broken his word?"

"I would've died, I guess," he said with another nonchalant shrug. "Or maybe she just would have cursed him. Sea witches can be funny things. But Captain is actually good at keeping his word, sometimes."

Jinora frowned slightly, even as Ikki and Meelo continued to bombard him with questions. He answered most of them and dodged whatever ones included asking if he had killed people, and if so, who.

He was relieved when Jinora said, "Alright, both of you, he's tired and won't finish eating without you both bothering him. Come on." She ushered them both out of the dining room, ignoring their complaints.

"Can I stay?" Rohan asked quietly.

"As long as you let him finish eating," Jinora said with a soft smile. Looked like Rohan was Jinora's favourite, too.

Ikki and Meelo whined and grumbled as they left the room, Ikki glancing back at Kai over her shoulder as she did.

Once Kai had finished a few more sandwiches, Rohan asked, "Can I see your tattoos?"

The teenager hesitated. "They're kinda under my shirt."

"That's okay."

Kai looked to Jinora, raising his brows. Jinora seemed flushed, but said nothing, so Kai pulled his shirt off, pointing to the three little black birds he had on his left shoulder blade. His bandages were wrapped around the other shoulder. The other tattoos were on each of his arms, a ship on his upper arm and a compass a little ways below his elbow on the other. He let Rohan run his fingers along the compass.

"I wish it worked like a real compass," he said, and Kai chuckled.

"Yeah, that'd make things a lot easier, anyway." He tugged his shirt back on when Rohan was done looking, glancing at Jinora to see her red-faced and quickly looking away from him. "But uh, it's more of a symbol. For good luck, and destiny. To always know where you're going. I've thought about getting a star near it too, like the north star."

"And what about the ship?"

Kai smiled thinly. "Home."

"And the birds?"

His smile weakened even more. "For my family." He cleared his throat. "Well, Ro, don't you have things to be doing? You must have a lesson of some kind, with you going off to big boy school soon?" Or so he hoped, anyway. What age did kids typically start going to school anyway? Seven?

"Yeah, Mommy's gonna help me read more later," he said. "Thanks for letting me see your tattoos."

"Anytime, kiddo. Just… maybe don't tell your dad?"

"Okay." He gave Kai a quick hug, though Kai froze in place before he could even think to return it. "See you later, Kai."

"Um, yeah, seeya," he said, as Rohan slid off his chair and left the dining room. He glanced at Jinora, who was smiling softly. He swallowed hard.

"He doesn't warm up to most people as quickly," she said.

"Oh." Kai glanced down at the table. "That's nice. I mean. He's a good kid. Nice kid."

"He is," she agreed. Her cheeks turned pink again. "I like your tattoos."

He smiled slightly. "Yeah?"

"Yes, and I think a star near the compass would be lovely."

"You're lovely," he said after a pause.

Jinora's flushed deepened, and she chewed on her bottom lip, which brought far too much of his attention to her mouth. "So are you," she said after a while. "Erm...shall I show you up to your room now?"

Kai bit back the suggestive comment that came to mind—he'd been spending too much time with Lefty—and nodded. "Sure. Thanks."

###

Kai adjusted slowly. He'd never thought that he would ever complain about having too much when he'd grown up with so little, and while he was always grateful, life in the Gyatso estate could be overwhelming. There was always so much food, and his room was too big, and he didn't think he'd ever get used to servants waiting on him. Whenever he'd comment on liking some product advertised in the newspaper (which he was slowly, very very slowly, learning how to read—pictures were helping immensely so far), Pema would ask him if he wanted it without even blinking.

There was never a danger of starving, or running out, and everything was offered to him in excess. When he tried to help the servants clean up, he was always stopped, either by the Gyatsos or their servants insisting that he go do something for his own leisure instead. How was he supposed to feel comfortable staying in their home when he wasn't even expected to do any chores?

Even tutoring felt easy in comparison, especially since Jinora was always helping him, even when their the formal tutoring was over for the day. The tutor himself was a very friendly if enthusiastic man named Professor Zei, who was patient with him despite everything.

It was all too much, _too good_. He'd never had so much leisure time before and had nothing to fill it with: there was only so many times he could try and connect the characters on a page into actual words, or walk around the perimeter of the island, or look at whatever Rohan or Jinora wanted to show him that day (usually of the same variety). There was nothing to cook and nothing to clean, no chores to do, and it made him restless. Yung missed the ship, too, he knew, but he'd also had a life before it, had a home and a family outside of it. He was older, and enjoyed having actual downtime for the first time in many ways: he read books and made Kai listen to the radio, which while interesting, hardly compared to music nights on the ship and was mostly stuffy old men talking about stock markets, instead of the poor people they were taking advantage of.

Sometimes, Kai sat the edge of the water and stared at the sea, and the ships sailing into Port Bosco.

Eventually, he took to going to the thicket of trees on the island, to have something to use for knife throwing practice, if only to blow off steam somehow. Each time his knife hit its mark, burrowing itself into the bark of a tree a good ten or fifteen feet away, he felt a tiny pang of satisfaction. He hadn't gotten much of a chance to practice knife throwing except at the mast (which Zaheer had eventually shot down), or at dummies, which didn't make as nearly as satisfying a sound.

He was practicing again one afternoon, aiming the knife hard, and as it left his hand, he heard Tenzin's voice.

"Kai?"

Kai went over to the tree and tugged the knife out, turning to see Tenzin, his eyes wide as he glanced down at the knife. Kai tucked it into his belt. "Don't worry, sir. I have good aim."

"I can see that," he said dryly. "What are you doing?"

"Um...practicing. There isn't much else do to other than read, which I'm still not good enough at to enjoy, and… I don't wanna get rusty, anyway."

"Oh." Tenzin glanced at the trees, then back at Kai. "You do realize that there is nothing to fear from growing… rusty, don't you? No one will attack you anymore."

"With all due respect, sir, no one is supposed to attack you, but I met you and Jinora getting robbed in a bank." He sighed. "I don't know how to...be, if I get rusty. I haven't practiced sword fighting in weeks and—I'm not wired to just stay here and do nothing, all day. I can't—not worrying about anything makes me even more worried, I guess."

Tenzin's beard twitched, and Kai realized with a start that he was trying to conceal a smile. "Well, we don't want to overdo the tutoring, since you need time to rest, to let everything you learn sink in."

"Sir, I've been going to bed at midnight and getting up six hours later for seven years. And before that… I've never been good at relaxing. At least not when that's what I'm supposed to be doing."

Tenzin took another glance at the trees. "We'll find something for you to do, then. And...we'll find you an alternative to those trees."

"Oh, right. Sorry, sir—"

Tenzin held up a hand. "Now, would you like to come inside? We have tea ready, if you're up to it. Our baker noticed you took a special liking to the baccu berry tea biscuits."

Kai smiled slightly. "Yeah. They remind me a little of Daw's cookies."

"Daw?"

"Our cook on the ship. And yeah, I'll be right down."

Tenzin paused. "How old were you when you came aboard the ship?"

Kai stared at his shoe as it scuffed the dirt. "Nine, sir."

"I didn't realize pirates could start that young."

"They usually don't. Yung found me and took me in, even though the Captain didn't want me, at first."

Tenzin looked at him carefully. "Well, it's lucky for us he did."

Kai rubbed the back of his neck, still not looking up. "Thank you, sir. Yung's done more for me than I'll ever be able to say properly."

"He's certainly been an excellent father."

His throat tightened. "Yes. He has."

"I think he might already be at tea right now, too. Walk with me?"

Kai nodded, following Tenzin through the back. They were by the door when the Governor said, "Have you ever missed?"

Kai finally met his eyes. "No."

Tenzin only nodded.

They went to tea.

###

After breakfast the next morning, Tenzin popped his head into the breakfast room (why they had a room just for breakfast, Kai still wasn't sure), and asked, "Kai? Could I have a moment?"

Kai exchanged a concerned look with Jinora, but when he looked at Yung, he found the man pursing his lips to hide a smile. Did he know something?

Kai followed Tenzin down to a large room with lots of mats, some barres for dancers like Kai had seen in some pictures, some gymnastic equipment, and a shimmering pool in an adjoining room with a wide window. Tenzin turned Kai towards a corner of the room and his heart nearly stopped.

It was a simple board, large and sturdy-looking, with a rack of shiny daggers hanging on the nearest part of the wall to it. In the middle was a bullseye circle with different rings. Kai walked over to the rack and picked up one of the slim daggers, cleaner than any he'd seen in real life, and got a feel for the weight of it. He stepped in front of the board, a good ten feet away, and aimed for the center of the bullseye. When he hit the center, he looked back at Tenzin, who almost looked like he was smiling.

"Good to see it fairs better than trees," he said. "Of course, there'll be a lock on the door so none of the younger ones can get in while this is here, unsupervised, but I'll give you a key—"

"I don't need a key sir," said Kai with a broad grin, as he tore his eyes away from his new aiming board. "Just a bobby pin, maybe."

Tenzin blinked. "Oh. I'll...get you a key anyway, and...I trust that you don't use those abilities to get into any of the other rooms?"

"Of course not, sir," Kai said, still too stunned to be sheepish. "Thank you. I'll pay you back for it soon."

"No you won't, because it's a gift. Yung and I worked very hard last night trying to get all the right materials—"

"Yung?"

"Well, I knew I wouldn't be...proficient enough to choose the daggers myself. And it's typically not considered polite to pay someone back for a gift, so I trust you'll allow us to give you this?"

"I…" He looked back at the aiming station, his heart still pounding. "I don't know what to say."

"Just spare my trees. That'll be payment enough, if needed."

Kai almost laughed. "Thank you, sir. I will, I… thank you."

Tenzin nodded, smiling slightly. "Well, I have to get to work, so I'll leave you to your practice. Remember, tutoring at ten."

"Yes, sir," said Kai, still beaming when Tenzin was gone. He took another dagger off the rack, just as shiny and beautiful as the last, and aimed for the corner of the aiming board, hitting his target again. The sound was almost more beautiful and more satisfying than the sound of a dagger sinking into a tree or post. Kai didn't even feel bad about the little marks in the board as he pulled the daggers out, the little holes almost making the bullseye look better, in the rugged way the _Waterbender_ looked after a few months of wear.

"Kai?"

Another dagger left his hand, hitting the board even as he looked over his shoulder to see Jinora in the doorway. He smiled. "Hey."

"My father said you were in here." She wrinkled her nose. "Although he didn't say you were throwing knives."

"Oh, yeah, he...he gave this to me. I told him that I used to practice with my dagger, so…" Kai glanced back at the aiming board admiringly.

"Could you show me?"

Kai cocked an eyebrow at her, grinning. "You really wanna know, Gyatso?"

Jinora bit back a smile, nodding. "Unless you don't think you can teach me."

He snorted softly. "Alright, now you've done it. Come here." He had Jinora stand next to him, centered in line with the board. He slipped one of the daggers into her hands, for a moment struck by how strange this was. Her hands were so smooth, and looked so foreign holding a dagger. But she gripped the handle firmly. "Which one's your dominant hand?" he asked.

"Um, my left." She paused. "Wait, were you throwing with your left?"

He grinned. "Guilty as charged. Don't want to throw out my shoulder again, yet."

Jinora almost shivered at the thought of how well he could aim with his dominant hand. "Alright, how do I hold it?"

"A little more loosely than you're holding it right now, but still firmly. You don't want it to slip out accidentally." His hand closed over hers and he adjusted her grip, fighting off the blush spreading across his face. "Okay, now pick a spot on the board. Even if it's just one of the rings and not a bullseye." He let go of her arms as she aimed, her eyes sharp and focused, and she threw the dagger. It hit the board with a thunk and fell to the floor.

She frowned. "What…?"

"You're probably not throwing hard enough. Actually, a lot of people don't even get it to hit on their first try, so you're doing great."

Jinora snorted. "You're just saying that to make me feel better."

"Yeah, well, not everyone can be as good as me." He grinned, only hesitating when he realized his arms were still loosely wrapped around her. He quickly took his hands away, shoving them into his pockets. "Try throwing harder this time."

She nodded, then threw a different dagger with the same razor-sharp focus, her face alight with surprised happiness once the dagger stuck, sinking into the wood well below the farthest ring of the bullseye mark.

Kai grinned. "Not bad at all. Where were you aiming?"

"For the bottom part of the last ring." Her eyes flickered to where her knife had actually fallen. "I wasn't too far off."

"In the same way that the Fire Nation isn't too far away from us?" he teased.

"Hey!" she laughed. "I thought you were on my side, encouraging, you know?"

"Well, now that you don't have a knife in your hands…"

"I could change that."

"Okay, okay," he laughed, holding his hands up in surrender. "You did good, Gyatso. Next time aim a little higher than your intended target."

"Oh, of course! Gravity and everything."

"And everything," he repeated with a grin, laughing when Jinora swatted him in his good arm. "Hey, you're the one who's actually learned about gravity in a classroom, and shit— _shoot_ , I mean."

"It's alright," she said. "You can swear around me. I don't mind."

"You sure?"

"My ears will survive."

"I feel so much more free now," he joked.

She poked him in the chest. "I hope so. Now, show me how to aim properly?"

His teasing grin softened into something more genuine. "Fine. But no talking back to the teacher, alright?"

She didn't obey the rule, but it didn't matter, because they were both laughing too hard to care.

###

"...and the spider-monkey clim—clim...bed?"

"Climbed," Jinora correctly gently.

"Thanks—climbed back up the tree, and…" Kai turned the page. They'd borrowed one of Rohan's books so he could practice reading aloud, though they were teaching from some of Jinora's books. He had begun sitting in on Rohan's bedtime story so he could hear Pema read aloud, and had insisted on reading aloud to Jinora that afternoon. She couldn't have said no even if she'd wanted to, not when he seemed so sure of himself. "...the rabaroo said, 'We should climb to...to...to-get...together!' And they climbed back up the hill, into the sunset. The end." Kai closed the book and looked at Jinora expectantly.

"Kai, you've improved so much," she said, beaming with pride. "You're going to be up to my level in no time."

"I mean, no one can get to your level, but I can try to come close," he grinned.

"As long as you're in the same level at school, so we can have classes together. And if not, I'll just keep tutoring you till you are, so we'll be spending lots of time together anyway."

"There's nothing I can do to escape you?" he teased, bumping her shoulder lightly with his. She bumped back.

"Nope."

He smiled at her. "Thank you, Jinora. You're a great teacher."

"Well, I'm far from done teaching you. I still need to show you everything else I know, don't I?"

His smile softened. "That's real nice of you."

"Well, speaking of nice, my mother and I were talking, and we were thinking we should take you clothes shopping this afternoon. For something to wear at school."

"Oh. Um, you don't have to—"

"Yes we do, we want you to look nice in school, and ready for learning. Unfortunately, looks do matter a little bit at school, and it'll be nice to make a good impression to the teachers. There's nothing wrong with your clothes now, of course, they're just a little…"

"Poor?"

"I was going to say old."

Kai picked at the rumpled collar of his shirt. "They are hand me downs. The only reason they fit is because one of our crew, Imaru, sewed it up so well."

"And he did a lovely job fitting your clothes to you, but...it'll be nice to have new clothes of your own, won't it?"

He shrugged. "I've never had them before. Would I even know what to get?"

"That's why my mother and I are going with you."

He was quiet for a long time, before he asked, "Can you see the sea from the school?"

Her smile faded slightly, but she nodded. "Not from the dorms, though. But the coast is just a few miles from the school. We could walk there as often as you'd like, or we could get you a bike so we could get there faster."

"A bike?"

She smiled. "And I'll also have to teach you how to ride. I haven't since I was younger, but they say you never truly forget once you've learned. There's a lake on the school grounds, though. It freezes over in the winter, and we can go ice skating."

His expression turned dry. "Ice skating?"

"Yes, ice skating. It's fun, once you get the hang of it. You've never done that, either?"

"If you count sliding on the deck when it's frozen over with rainwater, yes I have."

Jinora bit back a giggle. "Have you ever gone to one of the Water Tribes?"

"Some of the crew is Water Tribe, but we've never been. We don't usually go farther north than the tip of the Earth Kingdom, or below Kyoshi Island. We've sailed past Whale Tail Island, though."

"I've never been anywhere but here and the Fire Nation," she said, sighing dreamily. "But I'd like to see everything someday."

"You should come with us one day," he said. "Spend a year on the ship, just travelling the world. It's nothing fancy, but the ship's sturdy, and the crew's full of good people."

"Good. I don't want fancy."

"The _Waterbender_ is the perfect place for you, then."

She sighed, leaning back in the armchair. "I can't wait till I'm able to see everything. I love home, but...it gets so monotonous, sometimes. You know?"

"I have been living here for a month."

"And there are all these rules and expectations, and you have to be practically perfect in public, and everyone outside of the family is scrutinizing your every word, every move…" She looked at him sadly, but with a quiet sort of determination. "I'm not going to let them do that to you."

Kai frowned. "They've done that to you?"

"Of course they have. I'm the governor's eldest daughter."

He reached over and brushed her hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ears. "Tell them to go to hell, then. You're great just the way you are."

She smiled, her cheeks turning a soft shade of pink. "Thank you, Kai."

He took his hand away. "S'nothing. So, um, when are we going shopping, exactly?"

###

Kai had been on the crow's nest during a storm, had been part of a blood oath with a sea witch, had fought off men twice his size, and had escaped more life-threatening situations than he cared to remember.

But he'd never been in such a big store.

The rich people called it a department store, one of the newest and greatest creations for wealthy folk to go burn their cash. He could see one of the store employees eyeing him suspiciously, and fought back the urge to glare at them: it wasn't like he was going to steal anything. And even if he did, it's not like they would ever catch him anyway. Tyyo's lessons over the years had made sure of that.

Kai felt Jinora's hand slip into his, and the employee's frown deepened, as if Kai had already stolen something. "Come on, I think Mom and I found something." She tugged him over, and Kai forced himself to look away from the employee.

She guided him over to a row of fresh, crisp white button up shirts, made of a much better fabric than the one he was currently wearing. Blazers and matching pants were hung up on a nearby rack.

"Mom wanted to get you some vests, too, but I didn't think they were quite your style. And I promise I got the most comfortable clothes I could find, and I'm an expert, because Meelo complains whenever something's even remotely itchy." She pulled out a shirt and handed it to him. Kai took it carefully, afraid of making it dirty, even if his hands were clean.

"I trust your judgment of clothing softness," he said very seriously, eliciting a soft giggle from Jinora. "But uh, I just go try this on?"

"Mmhmm. The changing rooms are right over there." Jinora pointed to the doors marked by little clothing icons, near some mirrors. Luckily, there was no line.

"He seems to be adjusting well," Pema noted, as they waited outside the changing room.

"As well as he can. I'm glad Dad got him that aiming station."

Pema smiled. "You and I both know it's not just because he wanted Kai to stop making holes in our trees?"

"I know," said Jinora, returning the smile. "He's doing well with his reading, too, and he's quite good with numbers already."

"He always insists on being there when I read to Rohan," Pema said. "Shall I have him read to him one of these days?"

"That might help. He's comfortable enough around Rohan to get the practice, anyway." She sighed softly. "I've never met anyone so good with Rohan before."

"And I suppose that's not the only thing you admire about him?"

"Of course not, he's smart, and funny, and kind, and…" Jinora glanced at her mother. "Don't look at me like that."

"Look at you like what?" Pema asked innocently.

"Look—if any of us have a crush on Kai, it's Ikki. She's always so giggly when he's around, and he's older, and well, I suppose she thinks he's handsome, so—" Jinora shrugged, frustrated.

Pema smiled knowingly. "Ah. Of course."

" _Mom_."

"What? I'm agreeing with you."

Jinora opened her mouth to reply, and closed it when Kai came out in the fresh crisp shirt, buttoned up to just below his Adam's apple. "I think it fits okay," he was saying, glancing in between her and the mirror. Jinora flushed; it really did fit him well, even though they hadn't gone to see a tailor yet, and it especially suited him with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

"It fits just fine," Jinora forced herself to say.

"You look very handsome, Kai," said Pema with a broad smile. "We'll get a few more in the same size, I think. Some new pants too. Would you like a blazer?"

"Those are the coat-things that are lighter than a suit, right?" Kai asked, and Pema nodded. "Um, sure, if you think I'll need one."

"And you'll probably need a new winter coat for the season?" she added.

"Oh, um, if you say so. And...will I need an actual suit?"

"Well, they do have some special events at the school, so I suppose you will if you're wanting to participate." She smiled. "You can be Jinora's escort."

"Mom!"

Kai poked Jinora in the side with his finger. "I can make sure she stays out of trouble." Jinora lightly shoved him in his good shoulder, her cheeks burning. "I'd be happy to take you to whatever fancy thing it is, Jin."

"I guess it'd be less boring with you around," she said, managing a small smile.

"Right back at you."

"Well then," Pema said, unable to fight off the smile growing on her face, "let's look around for some suits, shall we?"

###

"It's strange to think they'll all be back at school in three days," Pema said, setting down her book in bed as Tenzin came in their bedroom.

His beard twitched. "Well it has been a long summer."

"Tenzin," she smiled, as he undressed. She could see the waters of Yue Bay glittering outside their balcony, the glass doors slightly ajar to let cool air in.

"I'm happy that they're all ready to continue their studies," he amended, pulling on his sleep shirt and pants. "But I will miss them dearly when they're gone. The house is so big when it's just us and Rohan here full time."

"At least they write us often. Or, Ikki and Jinora do, anyway." She slipped under the covers, sighing softly. "I can't believe Ikki's going to be in secondary school next year."

"She'll be fine," said Tenzin. "She really has mellowed with age." He pulled on his sleeping cap over his shiny bald head, and climbed into bed beside his wife.

Pema smiled knowingly. "Not around Kai, she hasn't."

He sighed. "She's just at that age, I suppose."

"It'll be interesting next year, that's for sure."

"What do you mean?"

Pema smiled. "You know just as well as I that both our girls are quite taken with Kai."

"Jinora? I mean, she likes him, they're friends, I hope, but—you know she likes him?"

"It's not hard to tell, dear."

Tenzin sighed despairingly, his night cap slipping slightly over one side of his head. "What have I done?"

Pema laughed, rubbing her husband's back gently. "A good thing. You know as well as I do that Kai is a sweet boy, even if he is rather troubled, but it's only been a month. By the end of the school year I bet he'll be able to fit in as well as any other high society boy would, born and raised."

"You really think he'll be alright on his own? He's come a long way, but there's still so much he has to learn—"

"Tenzin Gyatso," Pema said, "if I didn't know any better, I'd say you cared for the boy."

"I suppose Yung has been rubbing off me on lately. The man's been practically radiating nervous energy for the past week, haven't you noticed?"

Pema laughed softly. "Poor man. His boy's going to school for the first time."

"At this rate, I might have to make him an aiming board, too."

"They'll all be fine, Tenzin. We have smart children, and enough experience sending them to school to help Yung get through this transition. He's just never been away from Kai like this before."

"I know. But if he's as restless as Kai was during his first few weeks here…"

"Then we'll help distract him, and help him process this new stage in both their lives. He's been a single parent of a boy who was used to taking care of himself on a dangerous pirate ship for a long time. How bad can a preppy boarding school be after that?"

"Don't you remember high school?" asked Tenzin.

"Yes," she replied with a smile. "Are you sure you can, old man?" She kissed his bony cheek. "Relax, dear, everything will work itself out in time."

"Alright." He squeezed her hand. "Thank you."

For better or for worse, they'd find out the answers in three days. But until then, all they could do was wait.


	3. St Bosco's

CHAPTER THREE: St. Bosco's

The school looked far more like a castle than Kai had anticipated. If he had thought the Gyatso's mansion was big, it was nothing compared to this. True, it had also been harder than expected to say goodbye to them, especially Rohan, and he had nearly cried in front of Yung, which was embarrassing enough, but now he sort of wished he was back on the Island. Or on the ship.

Even in his fancy new clothes, Kai knew he didn't fit in here. And the other kids seemed to know it too, as they glanced at him suspiciously and whispered to their friends. His nerves just barely calmed as Jinora slipped her hand into his.

"Want me to show you around?"

"Um…"

"Or we could go up to your room, if you want. The servants are still moving everything up there, but I think your roommate will already be there."

"Roommate?" Kai had only ever had the crew to room with, and Yung at the Gyatso mansion, but even that hadn't worked out all too well. There was a reason he'd been moved to a room of his own, the old cabin boy's room, early on, and while his nightmares and restlessness had eased up, he didn't have high hopes. Nor did he want to bother or explain any of that to some stranger. Yung had been different; he understood, and didn't press him for explanation, and he'd slept worse in his own room at the mansion anyway, with a single room almost as big as the ones that half the crew slept in, respectively.

"It's alright, he's a friend of mine," Jinora assured him.

His palm felt sweaty, and he let go of her hand when he noticed people looking at their joined hands. "I dunno, Jin. I don't play well with others."

"You survived my siblings," she said, trying to lighten the mood. "Anyway, Lee's nice, and I already told him a little bit about our situation. Anyway, boys and girls can visit each other's' dorms till 10pm, so we'll still be able to spend a lot of time together."

"And...you don't mind?"

"Mind what?"

"I mean, surely you don't wanna… babysit me."

Jinora's brow creased. "Do you feel like that's what I'm doing?"

"No! No, I just...don't want to burden you."

"Kai. I want to spend time with you because you're my friend. And you'll get to meet my other friends, and hopefully you'll like them. I know they'll like you."

"You sure?"

"Yes, because I only befriend people with good taste."

He cracked a grin. "Is that also a compliment towards yourself?"

She bumped his hip with her own. "Maybe." She stopped in front of one of the doors that looked like all the others, with the same burgundy wood and shiny brass door knob. There was a plaque that read 302. "Here you are. I think Lee's already inside."

He swallowed hard, then turned the knob. To his surprise, all his things were already taken up to the room in two large trunks—he had more things this time, since Pema and Jinora had packed him with so much—and he saw a boy around his age reading at the desk on his side of the room, with neat black hair and his nose buried in a thick book. No wonder he was friends with Jinora.

"Lee?" she said. Lee looked up, and his face lit up when he saw Jinora, as he got up from his desk and went over to hug her. Kai's heart clenched slightly, and there was a sickly sinking feeling in his stomach when Jinora pulled away with an equally broad grin.

"It's good to see you," said Lee joyfully.

Her eyes crinkled. "You too." She glanced at Kai. "This is my friend, Kai," she said, "and Kai, this is Lee Sono, my very good friend and your new roommate."

Kai couldn't help but notice that Jinora had only given Lee the "very good friend" title and felt that tight sinking feeling in his gut again, but shook Lee's hand when he offered it anyway. Maybe his grip was too tight, but he'd been taught to have a firm grip anyway. So what if Lee looked a little pained till Kai let go? "Nice to meet you," Lee said politely.

"Yeah, you too," Kai said, trying not to mumble.

"Lee's in the year above us, but I take Advanced English, so we have that class together," she explained, clasping her hands behind her back. "Um… I should probably go to my own room, I'm a couple floors down, at 102, but Kai, if you have any questions, Lee can definitely answer them?"

"It's fine," Kai said briskly.

"And I'll be back up as soon as I can, and if you really need to reach me, feel free to come down to the room, and—"

"Jinora, I'll be fine," he said patiently. "Really. You know I can handle myself."

Jinora managed a tiny smile. "Okay. Then...I'll see you at lunch?"

"Yeah." The heaviness in his stomach ebbed when Jinora hugged him, and he slowly hugged her back, unwilling to let go. He'd always known the importance of allies, and now he was going to say goodbye to his only one in this whole school, however temporarily.

Jinora straightened out his collar, once she pulled away. "Don't get too scruffy too soon," she teased, before finally leaving.

"No promises," he said, and she gave him one last smile before leaving the room.

Was he pathetic for missing her already?

"So," said Lee slowly, "Jinora's told me a bit about you."

Kai turned to him, and then went over to his trunks to start unpacking. "Yeah?"

"She said you were a pirate, and that you saved her and her father's life."

Kai checked first to make sure his dagger was still there, feeling the familiar bump of the blade underneath the cloth pouch he had sewn for it, so it could bypass security, making sure to keep his movements discreet. Once his hand found it along one side, he started taking out his shirts.

"That much is true," he admitted. "Although… it wasn't 'save'. I just got shot in the shoulder, they likely would've been shot in the stomach, which is nasty, but not fatal."

"Still, she's...very grateful."

Kai ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah. I'm glad she's okay, too."

"And you've been living with them?"

"Yes. Mr. Gyatso was kind enough to let me stay, to recover, and so I could...catch up, on school stuff." He still wasn't completely caught up, if he was being honest with himself; while he had some classes in Jinora's level (mostly math and science subjects, and geography and history), he would be having a personal tutor in order to earn his English credit, at least for the first semester.

"I suppose you've been on a ship for awhile?"

"Seven years," Kai said. "But there was no school before that, either. What about you? You come from money like the Gyatsos?"

"My father is Lord Topher Sono, he runs a big business on the rim of the city. My older brother is helping him handle it now." There was a trace of bitterness in Sono's voice that surprised him. "But yes, in answer to your question. My grandfather was the one who started the business, so he was self made. The rest of us are just reaping the benefits, more or less."

"Oh. Um, well, good for you and your family."

"What about your parents?"

Kai put the shirts in his dresser drawer and shut it. "Don't have any. Except for Yung, he's our first mate. But he's a guardian, I guess."

"Oh." Lee was silent for a while, then asked, "Did he adopt you?"

"In a way, I guess he did. But not legally, if that's what you mean."

"Jinora seems to like you," Lee ventured.

Kai snorted. "She's just… kind. Thanks, by the way, for letting me—it probably wasn't your idea to have a pirate for a roommate. If anyone gives you a hard time about it…"

"I'll be fine," said Lee.

"Jinora seems to like you too," Kai added, watching his reaction.

Lee softened slightly. "I would hope so. We've been friends for awhile."

"How long?"

"Since...gosh, probably since we were six or seven. We were both quiet, didn't have many friends growing up. I think we bonded over _The Spirit of the Sea._ "

"You bonded over the Painted Lady?"

"A novel about her, anyway," Lee said. "Pirates know about her?"

"Pirates know a lot about spirits. And stars. And everything, basically. If you don't, or you don't learn quickly, you die."

"Makes getting bad marks seem trivial, I suppose," Lee said dryly.

"It's the truth," said Kai snappishly. "My crew has a navigator who graduated from Ba Sing Se University, and he handles our financials and our routes, but without our oldest member's expertise we'd be walking into wars with other crews all the time, since we wouldn't know how to sneak into other people's waters."

"What's a graduate of Ba Sing Se University doing on a pirate ship?" Lee asked, raising a brow.

"Pirates come from all walks of life. We're not all gutter rats or orphans like me."

"I didn't mean to say—"

"I know. Public assumption, that's all."

They were both silent for a very long time, before there was a knock at the door. Kai looked up, hoping it would be Jinora, but it was a girl in a very elaborate, gorgeous purple dress, with dark brown skin and luscious black hair.

"Shen Shen," Lee greeted. "Visiting the boy's rooms already?"

She laughed. "Like you would know anything about that, Sono. How was your summer?"

"Uneventful. We only traveled a few times this year, all to my grandfather's old vacation house. You?"

"My parents took my brother and I to Kyoshi Island for a month, and we visited family in ZaoFu." She peeked inside, her eyes settling on Kai. "And you haven't even introduced me to your new roommate. Where are your manners?"

Lee cleared his throat. "Right, uh, Kai, this is Shen Shen Sesi. And Shen Shen, this is Kai…?"

"Too poor for a last name," Kai said tightly, as he extended a stiff hand to Shen Shen. "Nice to meet you."

Shen Shen shook it. "Nice to meet you too, pretty boy."

Jinora poked her head in once he had let go. "Oh, Shen, you're here too? And I see you met Kai."

"You know him?"

"Don't you read the papers?" asked Lee, raising his brows.

"My grandpappy can barely read at all, so no. The upper side of Omashu isn't that concerned with Republic City news."

"I was in the papers?" Kai asked blankly.

"Of course you were. Everyone's interested in the pirate Governor Gyatso has taken in."

"They're not worth reading," Jinora said quickly. "Anyway, most of those papers are just written by writers too busy tittering over the latest high society gossip to report any actual news."

"Classes haven't even started yet and you're already a downer," Shen Shen yawned, and Jinora wrinkled her nose at her.

"You know I'm right."

"So, a pirate, hmm?" Shen Shen inspected Kai in a new light. "I guess he does have that rugged look to him, doesn't he? Kind of scrappy."

"I'm not scrappy," Kai whined.

"And he's not here for further scrutiny, he's here to learn," Jinora said firmly. "Kai, this is Shen Shen Sesi, one of my best friends and a terrible flirt."

"I am not a _terrible_ flirt," she said, crossing her arms over her chest. "I'm an excellent flirt, thank you very much."

"She's a handful, is what she is," Jinora said, but there was a smile in her eyes. "Now go. I've heard Charo Zhang is looking for you."

Kai perked up. "Zhang?"

"I might have to go see what all the fuss is about then," Shen Shen said with a smirk, and left the room.

"The Zhangs are a rich family, more so because they only have one child," said Jinora. "You know them?"

"No," said Kai quickly. "The name just sounded familiar, but… I think I'm thinking of Cheng. He's a mobster in Paradise, but it sounds similar, y'know?"

"Oh. Cheng, Zhang...yes, I can see how it would sound familiar. But maybe you'll get to know him too. I don't know him well myself, but Shen Shen knows far more people than I do."

"How do you both know her anyway? She seems...different."

Jinora laughed. "She used to tease me all the time in primary school. One day I got so mad at her that I pushed her on the playground and then ran off crying. She found me in the corner of our classroom and gave me a chocolate bar. We've been friends ever since."

"Nothing like a friendship that has a rough start," he said with a light, knowing chuckle.

"Lunch is happening soon. Should we all go down together? I can introduce you to the rest of the girls."

"Um, sure."

The cafeteria was humongous, as big as the Waterbender's dining hall five twelve times over easy, and Kai had never seen so many kids gathered in one place. Did every rich kid in the Earth Kingdom get sent here, or just the ones who didn't live in the Upper Ring of Ba Sing Se?

He followed Jinora to one of the tables, the scent of rich, decadent food almost overpowering, as if someone had concentrated the scent of Daw's cooking into a very strong cologne. The food lined up in the middle looked far fancier, however, full of various dishes he'd never even seen before.

He tapped on Jinora's shoulder. "What happens now?"

"Well, the servers will bring us empty plates, and then we'll help ourselves to whatever we want."

"Okay, but—" Kai leaned out of the way as a plate was placed in front of him. "What is...everything?"

"What?"

"Are you sure this is food? It all looks like modern art."

Jinora laughed. "Tell me what kind of things you like, and I'll try to help from there."

"Um...I know you don't eat meat, but—"

"Lee?" Jinora called. He was sitting across the table, and he looked up, his plate already half-full. "Could you place some of the finer meat selections on Kai's plate? I'll help him with the rest."

Lee nodded, taking Kai's plate from Jinora's hands and carefully stacking it with various cuts of steak and different kinds of stews that looked almost too pretty to be real, before handing it back to Jinora, who set it down gently in front of Kai.

"Thanks, Sono," Kai said quietly. Lee gave him a small, polite nod. Jinora placed a few various tarts and what looked like bread onto the remaining parts of his plate, the food mountain growing higher. "Uh, Jin—"

"You can save whatever you don't finish," she said. "Most people just throw it out, but I know that's wasteful, so…"

"Usually if any of us can't finish our food," he said, although he could count on one hand the amount of times that had happened, "we just shovel it all into Lefty's mouth. He's like a walking trash can."

"He's that large man that visited you in the hospital, right?"

Kai nodded. "However much you think he can eat, he can probably eat twice that amount. He's a solid wall, though, so I guess it helps."

"Shen Shen's right then," Jinora teased. "You are kind of scrappy."

Kai smiled and rolled his eyes. "Just eat your salad."

"You better eat yours, too," she said, poking him gently with the handle of her fork.

"Hey, I eat plenty of fruits and veggies. Can't get scurvy, now can I?"

Jinora let out a beautiful ringing laugh. "I suppose you can't."

Though he was introduced to more of Jinora's friends, it was hard to remember that there was anyone else in the world but them, laughing as they exchanged stories, and for a moment he felt almost normal again, when he felt someone bump hard into him as they all stood up from the table.

It would have barely registered, if it hadn't been on his bad shoulder, and pain flared in his arm.

Jinora grabbed his forearm. "Hey, watch where you're going," she snapped. The boy that had bumped into Kai turned around, crossing his arms over his chest to draw attention to his forearms.

"And if I don't?"

Kai's eyes hardened, as he straightened up. Better to get this over with now, then let his reputation fester for too long. "It's called being polite, jackass."

"So the street rat bites," the boy laughed, and the group of boys he had around him laughed in turn. "You can wear whatever fancy clothes you want, but you're still a mutt."

Kai took the steak knife between his fingers, twirling it expertly. "You wanna repeat that? See, because, I've been dealing with people like you all my goddamn life, and trust me, in a fight, people like you are always the ones who don't walk away in the end."

The boy's eyes darkened. "Is that a threat?"

Kai stood up. "Wanna find out?"

Jinora tugged on his good arm. "Kai, please," she said softly.

Kai set down the knife, and stared unflinchingly at the other boy, his eyes burning. Something in them must have unnerved him, because he took a small step back, and Kai let his lips twitch upwards. "Just don't shove me around again," he said warningly.

The boy glared as he passed by, and Kai glanced back at his food, before he heard his thundering footsteps. Kai shot his arm out and grabbed the boy's hand, bending it back as the boy tried to attack. The boy let out a yelp, and Kai walked him backwards, pushing him onto his knees.

"Now what did I tell you?" Kai whispered furiously. "You really wanna go toe to toe with me? Because next time I put you on your knees, you'll be getting up on broken legs. Understand?" He bent his wrist back a little further. " _Do you understand?_ "

"Y-yes," the boy said, and Kai let go of his wrist, rolling his eyes when the boy collapsed on the floor. The other kids laughed at him, and his cronies helped him up, before running away while shooting dirty looks at Kai over their shoulders.

Kai rolled his shoulders as he walked over and sat back down at the table. "And now that that's settled," he said, almost yawning, "I can relax."

Lee's jaw had dropped. "You just…"

Kai took a bite of a bread roll he still had. "That? That was nothing. His stance was pathetic."

"Kai, you can't get into trouble," Jinora began, but Shen Shen snorted.

"Please, he didn't get anything hurt but his ego. That was Ranshaw Riker, by the way. His father's a steel tycoon, they come from old money. He likes to think of himself as the king of the school, but if anything that's Pfannee's older brother, Li Wen."

Pfannee had a soft voice, but wasn't she quiet like Jinora or their other friend, Miki Nanuq. "Li's nice, though. But he'll be graduating after this year."

"Congratulations to him, then," said Kai.

"I'll miss him. I won't get any homework done without him," Pfannee said with a slight pout. "Do you have any siblings?"

"Not by blood. But I have a whole bunch of surrogate older brothers."

"You would think one of them would have taught you not to get into trouble," Jinora said sourly.

Kai raised his eyebrows. "The only reason I said anything is because you did, first," he replied, rather coolly.

"Excuse me?"

"You're the one who said something to Riker. I would have just let it slide, until he got aggressive towards you. And once that happens, someone has to step in, who can dominate him, who can establish a power hierarchy. It's simple societal rules."

Jinora scowled. "Not in this society."

"Well it may have missed you, but I'm not exactly part of this society, now am I?" Kai stood up and left the table.

Jinora clenched her teeth, folding her arms over her chest. "He's so stubborn sometimes," she muttered.

"Yeah, he's… interesting," said Lee slowly. "But what did you really expect, Jinora, from a pirate? Fighting's in his blood."

Jinora's frown deepened. "You don't know him, Lee."

"And you do?"

"Of course I do, and I know him better than you do, anyway. He jumped in front of a gun for a pair of strangers."

"Or because he knew you were rich," Shen Shen muttered.

"He was ready to fight back before he knew who I was, and stop acting like you know _anything_!" she snapped. "You—ugh!"

She left her tray and got up from the table, leaving the same way Kai had.

Hopefully he'd be in his room, and not looking for more trouble.

###

He wasn't in his room. Jinora cursed under her breath before she noticed the way only some of his bag was unpacked, and there was a pocket sewn onto the inner side that didn't seem like it had been there before.

She crossed the green grounds to the edge of the forest with leaves that were gradually turning gold and red and orange. "Kai?" she called. "Kai?" She heard the sound of something hitting wood off towards her left, and followed it.

Kai was standing in a clearing, throwing his dagger and wrenching it out of the tree bark with a kind of burning ferocity. Did he do anything without that intensity?

His shoulders slumped when he took his dagger out, and he threw it down near his feet with a mumbled swear under his breath.

Briefly, she wondered why she wasn't just going over to him, but something kept her rooted to the spot. Something curious, to watch him when he didn't know that she was. He took the dagger back into his hand, then aimed it at the tree, nearly throwing it when his eyes widened. "Jin?"

She didn't know what to do as he tucked his dagger back into his belt, rushing over to her. "Christ, I could've hit you. Don't sneak up on me like that. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, I—" Her breath hitched as he cupped her face, searching for any sign of injury.

"How long were you behind there?"

"Not long, I—I couldn't find you in your room, and I got worried, and—"

"Don't do that again," he said, his voice quiet. "You scared me."

" _I_ scared _you_? You're the one who pulled a disappearing act—"

He ran his thumbs over her cheeks. "You're right. I'm sorry. I would've left a note, but…" he shrugged. "I dunno how to write your name yet. Too many letters. Am I in trouble now?" He let go of her face.

Her heart softened. "No, you're not in trouble. Just...don't run off like that again, please." She almost smiled. "I can teach you how to write my name next if you really want to."

"Okay. I'm sorry, just...don't sneak up on me like that again, please. I don't know what I'd do if I ended up hurting you."

"I promise I won't sneak up on you whenever you have a weapon in your hand," she said.

"I want you to promise me something else, too," he requested.

She raised one eyebrow. "Which is?"

"Let me pick my own battles? I don't mind being shoved around. I just can't let you get shoved around for my sake, okay?"

Jinora pursed her lips, but then nodded. "Just...don't get in trouble, okay? And don't get hurt. At least not too badly."

"You know I can take whatever those rich boys wanna throw at me," he said, trying to crack a smile. Jinora didn't smile back.

"Kai, I'm serious."

"Okay, okay. I won't get into trouble, and I won't let anyone hurt me too badly."

"Thank you."

"Is there anything else we need to do for this...orientation day?"

"Let me help you unpack."

"Or I could help you unpack. You have more stuff and could use a heavy lifter." He waggled his eyebrows at her. "Plus, then I can see your room."

She let out a soft giggle. "Alright. Come on then, tough guy."

###

At the very least, getting up early wasn't a problem.

Kai had been used to getting up around 6am, so when he was up at that time, he still had a good few hours to shower and practice writing his name before he was off to his first class for the day. He had never had to sit still much, except on stake outs when they were waiting for a crew to jump them, and even then, he'd still been allowed to tap his fingers on something. How was he supposed to last two hours listening to one person talk about only one thing and sit completely still?

Jinora sat next to him at breakfast. "Did you have a good sleep?"

"Yeah. The beds here are still really nice."

She smiled. "Really? Some of the kids complain about it being too firm."

"No, they're perfect." He stared at his schedule, a piece of paper in Jinora's neat, straight handwriting. He could read the words with only a little difficulty now. "So...this is...geography, in an hour?"

Jinora smiled. "A 'p' and and 'h' makes and 'f' sound, you remembered."

"Of course I did. I listen to you."

"Really?"

"Sometimes. When it's convenient."

"Oh, that is a big relief," she wrinkled her nose at him.

Kai bit into an apple. "What do you have first period?"

"Advanced English with Lee, but I have the rest of my classes with you today. My geography lesson is scheduled tomorrow, when you have your English tutoring."

"I'm glad Mr. Gyatso was still able to get Professor Zei to keep tutoring me," Kai said, his mouth full of apple. "I don't know who else would have the patience to teach me."

Jinora looked at him dryly. "And what have I been doing with all your extra reading lessons in the interim?"

"Being a super mean teacher."

A laugh burst out of Jinora's mouth, and she shoved Kai in his good shoulder as he grinned. "You're an idiot."

"You're beautiful when you laugh."

Her cheeks turned a bright pink. "Shut up," she mumbled, not sounding very convincing.

"About how beautiful you are? Never."

Jinora buried her face in her hands, and Kai was sure he heard a faint squeal from behind her hands, and his heart leapt towards her, and it was all he could do to keep his arms from following. "You're an even worse flirt than Shen Shen," she mumbled through her smile.

"Doesn't make it any less true."

Lee and Miki came and sat across from them. "Um, Jinora?" said Miki. "Are you alright?"

Jinora removed her hands from her face, which had lessened in colour. "I'm fine. We didn't get too much of a chance to talk, yesterday. How are you, Miki?"

She looked between Jinora and Kai as she sat down. "I've been alright. I see you both figured everything out?"

Jinora smiled at him. "We're fine now. I think we were both just a little stressed."

"Yeah, new place, mean kids...and the meanest one is my best friend here," Kai grinned, poking Jinora in the side. She swatted him gently in the arm. "You're so lucky you haven't hit my bad arm yet, Gyatso."

"Me? I think you mean you're lucky. I've been very consciously not hitting you in your bad arm, even if I feel like it sometimes."

"Oh, so you admit you've felt like injuring the kind soul that protected you in that bank? Harsh, Gyatso."

She wrinkled her nose at him. "I'll just always make sure to bring you to the bank whenever I go, then."

Miki cleared her throat, and they tore their eyes away from one another. "Well either way, I'm glad you two have worked things out, but you should probably focusing on eating, or you'll be hungry all morning."

Jinora rolled her eyes, cutting off a piece of her pancake. "Who would've thought you'd be nagging me for once."

"If you bother me for snacks again between classes, you're getting a big fat 'I told you so'."

"Fair enough."

The end of breakfast came all too soon for Kai's liking, and soon Jinora was walking him to his class, as it was on the way to hers.

"See you next class?" she asked, and Kai nodded.

"See you."

He watched as she left, her bookbag hanging at her side as she waved back at him, and it was all he could do to tear his eyes away from her, to sit down in a seat and actually learn something.

His first class ever, and it was without the one person he knew he could get through it with.

Oh Gods.

The others around him were rowdy, some boys throwing papers at each other, a few girls talking in a corner, when an old, thin, hunched-over man walked up to the front, and rapped on the desk with a long ruler. The class immediately silenced, and everyone got to their seats. Kai reluctantly took one of the only ones in the front row.

"Welcome back, students," the man began. "I expect you all had very intellectually stimulating summer holidays?" The class said nothing in response. "Ah, yes, for those of you who are new here, I'm Professor Huang, your geography teacher for the rest of the year. You may call me Professor, sir, or Professor Huang, and anything else will get you a strike."

A strike? What did that mean? Were all teachers so particular about what they were called? Professor Zei was fine with Kai calling him Zei, even asking him to call him by his first name. Was it like calling Zaheer Captain or sir when he was in a bad mood? Either way, Kai filed the information away. He didn't want to get a strike for anything on his first real day when yesterday had been a narrow enough miss to begin with.

"...now please pull out your textbooks, and turn to page 39."

Kai pulled out his textbook, grateful he'd checked with Jinora to make sure it was the right one—he'd memorized the colour palettes, each one different for every class, and opened up to the 39th page, the numbers tiny in the bottom edge.

To his relief, it was a map, and not only that, but a map of the Amaterasu Sea, the one that ran predominantly along the Gold Coast. This was a sea he knew well. He could read all of the words on the page from memory mostly, as they were some of the only words he'd grown up being able to read.

Okay. He could do this.

"Now, can anyone tell me why the Gold Coast is the trading hub of the world?" Professor Huang asked.

Kai was tempted to raise his hand, but declined, instead content to observe for now. No one raised their hand.

"What about you, Mr. Tashi?" asked Huang, and it took Kai a second to realize he was being addressed. Right. He'd been given Yung's surname on the paperwork. "I understand with your… background, you are quite familiar with this sea." His upper lip curled in a sort of sneer, and a few kids snickered.

Kai swallowed, conscious of everyone staring at him. "U-um, the...the Gold Coast is a trading hub mostly due to the Fire Nation colonies established during the Great War. It's also for trading due to being a wide expanse of land with a short distance in between nations, whereas crossing the Everlasting Sea between the Fire Nation and Earth Kingdom is practically a death sentence. The smaller villages are also home to front businesses which further illegal activity that connects to Par—Tiangtang, and although illegal, helps further the economies of those towns, which then helps legal dealings continue through dry spells of business. Sir."

"You're saying that piracy actually _helps_ the economy?"

"I...I'm just stating what I've observed, sir."

"Yes, I expect you have."

Kai frowned, but stayed silent. There. Staying out of trouble. Just like Jinora wanted.

"In any case, Mr. Tashi is correct," Professor Huang said, pointing to the map hanging behind him. The tip of his ruler circled the Amaterasu Sea. "During the Great War, and especially before hand, this sea was the one that connected all four nations and allowed trade to prosper. Now, heading onto to the last twenty years..."

The next hour of the lesson passed fairly uneventfully, and Kai was grateful that more or less it was all things he already knew, and there were no surprises. The textbook reading Huang had assigned was a little worrying, but Zei could help him with that tomorrow.

The students rushed out of the classroom as soon as the bell rang, and Kai slipped his textbook into his book bag and tried to get out with the crowd, so as to not be left alone with Professor Huang's suspicious leer.

"Tashi, a word."

Shit.

Kai stopped, then slowly went up to the desk Professor Huang was sitting at. "Yes, sir?"

"I… understand that you're coming from an unconventional background, but talk of piracy and other illegal activities, unless directly addressed ahead of time, is not welcome in this classroom. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, sir."

"Very good. You're excused."

Kai left the classroom feeling just as stung as if Professor Huang had just slapped his knuckles with that long ruler, but tried to shake it off as he looked at the map Jinora had provided him and tried to find his next class.

"There you are," Jinora greeted, walking alongside Miki and Pfannee. He managed a small smile as she took as place next to him, glancing at the map. "Glad to see you're going in the right direction."

"Maps are one of the few things I can actually read," he said, smiling slightly.

"C'mon, let's get to history before we're late," said Miki.

"We'll get there," Jinora said, just short of a whine. Miki sighed, tugging Pfannee past them. "Sorry," Jinora said to Kai, "she's usually not this impatient."

"It's fine. It's probably a lot, trying to wait for me to keep up with everyone."

"Nonsense. You're doing just fine, and besides, I know you would wait up for me if you needed to."

"I just don't wanna cause any conflict between you and your friends."

"You're not, I promise. How did geography go, anyway? Did you meet anyone?"

"Just the professor," he mumbled. "Who doesn't seem to like me, much. Are all teachers that stuffy?"

Jinora laughed. "No, the history teacher's actually my favourite. He's very passionate about history, kind of like Professor Zei. You'll see. We should go probably catch up with the girls—you don't want to be late on your first day, do you?"

"Race you?"

Jinora bit back another laugh. "Kai, we're in the hall—"

He took off anyway, and Jinora ran after him, laughing the entire time.

###

Just like the mansion, St. Bosco's slowly got better as the days turned to a week, and then into weeks. Zei was the only reason he was keeping his head above the water in English, and anything he had to write an essay for, and Jinora was another lifeline when it came to _everything_ , so he didn't know what he would do without her. Professor Huang didn't like him, but Dr. Laghima did, and he was Jinora's favourite, so that mattered a lot more.

Sometimes, he missed the sea and the ship and the crew and Yung so much he felt like he was going to throw up, and whenever that happened he'd find some quiet part of the school and look at the only photograph he had of all of them, until the tears either came and went or didn't come at all. Yung sent him a letter every week, and he could actually read them now, so that was nice.

He spent as little time in his room as possible, not only because he was restless, but because there was still this odd stiff silence between him and Sono that only ever seemed to melt when Jinora was around, but Kai still didn't like the sickly feeling he got in his stomach. At least, he hadn't had a nightmare yet. He didn't feel like explaining that.

Nor had Riker or any of the other school bullies tried to mess with him, beyond a few comments, but he'd let them roll off his back. It wasn't anything he hadn't heard before.

Jinora's friends, too, were a challenge unto themselves, but at least they were civil, and Pfannee seemed to like him well enough. Miki was still rather impatient, with him especially, and had a book club with Jinora, but he didn't know what to think of Shen Shen. Behind her flirting there was a serious, skeptical mind at work, and he dreaded the day he legitimately wound up on her bad side.

At the very least, there were a lot of trees on campus, well away from the buildings. He could practice throwing his dagger in silence for as long as he wanted.

When he got back to his room on the eve of finishing his first month at St. Bosco's, Jinora and Sono were doing homework together, sprawled out on his bed at quarter to nine.

Jinora looked up, smiling as she got off the bed and went to hug him. Kai chuckled as she pulled away. "You just saw me a few hours ago, Gyatso."

"Just checking your shoulder," she said, and he rolled his eyes. "How is it?"

"Just a scar, now. It's still a little sore, but the doctors said it would go away in a couple more months. But it can't get reopened now."

"Let me see?"

Kai tugged off his shirt, throwing it onto the side of his room. Whereas Lee's was always neat and tidy, he just let his clothes collect in a pile on the floor and shoved it in his closet when their rooms were inspected for cleanliness.

He sat down on the side of his bed, and pointed to a blocky scar that ran up the seam of his shoulder. "See?"

Jinora gently ran her fingers near his scar. "It does look better," she said softly. "You feel better?"

He nodded, shivering slightly as her fingers gently skimmed over the risen, tender skin of his scar. "I do."

Her eyes dropped to a scar on his inner forearm, long and thin that nearly wrapped around it. "How did you get that one?" She went to touch it, but he jerked his arm away.

"It's was a long time ago," he said quietly. "And not a very happy memory."

"I understand," she said softly, and squeezed his hand gently. He felt bad for pulling away—shouldn't he have trusted her more by now?—squeezed back.

"Thanks, Jin."

She slowly pulled away, and then went and collected her books and notebook, before going to the door. "Good night Kai, good night Lee."

"Goodnight," the both said, and when Jinora shut the door, Kai pulled a sleep shirt on.

"When did you get tattoos?" Sono asked suddenly, and it didn't sound like he was asking nicely.

"When I was younger."

"Did you sneak out to get them or—"

"I was taken to a reputable parlour, thank you very much."

"'Reputable'," Lee scoffed. "What kind of idiot parent takes the kid to get tattoos—"

" _Yung is not an idiot,_ " Kai said sharply.

Lee was quiet for a moment, and Kai hoped that that was the end of it, when he asked, "What's your deal, anyway?"

Kai resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "What do you mean?"

"You and Jinora. What's your deal?"

"About…?"

"You and her. Together?"

"Oh." He paused. "No. Nothing like that."

"You're not trying to pursue something with her?"

"Why does it matter so much to you whether or not I like her?" Kai said, more snappishly than he'd intended. Sono frowned.

"Because I've been friends with her since we were kids. And it matters to me that she ends up with someone that really cares about her—"

"Then I guess it'll be you, then." Kai ran a hand through his hair, and then got in his bed on his back, staring at the ceiling. "Just turn off the light, Sono."

He didn't reply, and the light went off without another word.

###

Not much woke Lee. Alarm clocks, loud bells, and the sound of his parents arguing, but he usually slept soundly through the night.

If anything was going to interrupt that sleep, his roommate screaming bloody murder would do the trick.

Lee turned the lights on and saw Kai up in bed, panting heavily.

"What the hell—" Lee paused when he saw that Kai was trembling. "...Are you alright?"

"Sorry about that," he mumbled, his voice hoarse. He threw off the sheets, swinging his legs over so his feet touched the ground. His sleep shirt was sticking to his skin with cold sweat, as he withdrew something from underneath his pillow. "I'm… just gonna go for a walk."

"It's past curfew," Lee said. "We can't be outs—"

"Don't care, Sono," Kai threw back, before shutting the door behind him.

For a moment, Lee just sat there, and then swore as he pulled on his slippers and turned off the light, slipping out after him. It wasn't like he cared, but if anything happened to that kid, he was pretty sure Jinora would burst into tears and he couldn't have that.

He was grateful for the past few years he spent in track when he managed to catch up with Kai, hiding behind a corner to see where he was going. Why was he taking the stairs when they led to the roof?

This kid was going to be the death of him.

Once Kai was out of sight, Lee went up the stairs, then up the ladder leading to the roof. Cool air hit him with an unexpected force, more than he had expected with it being the first day of October.

Kai paced for a moment, not realizing Lee was there, and then stepped towards the edge and looked down. His throat tightened. The kid wasn't going to—his lungs loosed a sigh of relief when Kai sat down instead, and pulled two small things out of his pocket. Lee realized after a moment that it was a lighter and a pack of cigarettes, and Kai stuck one in his mouth and lit it.

"God I'm an idiot," Kai muttered to himself, stuffing the lighter and cigarette box back into his pocket. He took a long drag of the cigarette, briefly taking it between his index and middle finger and puffing out a few short, smokey breaths.

"I think that's something we can agree on," said Lee, stepping forwards.

Kai whirled around, his hand jumping to something strapped to his side, before he relaxed, and scowled. "What the hell are you doing out here, Sono? I don't need a nanny."

"If you're gone and I don't know where you went and then something happens to you, Jinora's going to lose it. And we don't want that, now do we?"

Kai went silent. "I guess not," he said after a while.

"She really cares about you, okay? Don't take that for granted."

"I don't."

"Then act like it."

Kai rolled his eyes. "Listen, rich boy, you don't know shit about my life. I don't take things for granted. Like a bed. Or having food to waste. Or a family that's always freaking loved you. So just shut up, and go back to bed."

"No pirate tells me what to do—"

"And no rich brat tells me whether or not I'm grateful for something, or someone. You think I expected any of this? When I got shot, I expected a quick thanks and then to never see any of them again. Not...all this." Kai sighed, then took another long drag. He took out a cigarette. "Want one?" he said tiredly.

Lee regarded him. "I don't smoke."

"Good for you." Kai took another drag. "Habit's a pain in the ass to kick."

"Who got you smoking, anyway?"

"My captain. I was fourteen and… I'd just killed someone for the first time and he thought it'd help me calm down." He let out a humourless laugh. "Looking back, it was actually pretty thoughtful for him."

Lee shuffled his feet. "Why'd you kill them?"

"The guy nearly killed Yung. Or he was about to. I didn't wait to find out."

"Oh." They were quiet for a time, before Lee asked, "Why'd you come here?"

Kai glanced at him. "What?"

"You could've stayed with the Gyatsos with a private tutor, or gone back to your ship knowing that you had an out whenever you wanted it, but you came here. Why?"

Kai ducked his head. "First time you asked a sensible question, Sono. I wish I could give you a better answer, but… I dunno. Jinora was so...happy, about it, and Yung thought it would be a good idea, and it would piss off Zaheer, our captain, and… I guess I was just curious to find out if I'm meant for anything else than dying young, or being turned into a weapon. What it's like to be a regular kid. As regular as rich kids can be. That, and—to have a safer kind of life. To make something of myself."

Lee was silent for a while. "Jinora believes in you, you know," he said after a few moments.

"I know," Kai said quietly. "I wish I knew why."

"It might have something to do with you taking a bullet for her."

Kai puffed out a laugh. "Maybe. Any idiot could take a bullet for her, though. And anyone would, if they knew her."

"What was it like?" Lee slowly sat down next to him, although he didn't let his legs swing over the edge, and left a good deal of space in between them.

"It's different than getting stabbed." At Lee's raised eyebrow, he elaborated, "It's like an explosion of pain. A small one, but really intense, and for a moment you can't think all too well, and then, well, you get over it and you keep on fighting. Or you die."

"Did you think you were going to?"

Kai took the cigarette out from between his lips and pursed them. "I was ready to."

"Why? You didn't know her then, did you?"

Kai shook his head. "I just...saw her, and saw someone that needed to keep living. Someone worth saving, I guess."

"That's how she talks about you."

Lee swore he saw a flicker of a smile on Kai's face. "No matter what would've happened, I think jumping in front of that bullet was one of the best things that's ever happened to me." He glanced at Lee. "Does it bother you? That I'm here?"

"A little," Lee confessed. "But not because of you. At least, not mostly."

"I get it." Kai's lips twitched upwards. "I'm glad she has a friend like you."

"Thanks. And...you know, you make her really happy. Even if you are trouble."

Kai chuckled. "Yeah, I do have a knack for getting in trouble."

Lee glanced down. "Do you want to tell me what you were screaming about now?"

All traces of humour vanished from Kai's face. "No," he said firmly. "It just… nightmares just come sometimes. They're nothing. And don't you dare tell Jinora about them."

"Okay, okay, I won't." Lee glanced back out at the horizon, the sky already beginning to lighten. "I think she'd want to know, though. Not from me," he added quickly, when Kai opened his mouth. "She'd want to hear it from you."

"The less she knows about the shitshow of my life, the better."

"Not how she sees it."

Kai shook his head. "I'm fucked up for reasons she shouldn't have to know. Nobody should have to know."

"Usually, friends like to know that stuff about each other. Even if it isn't happy." Lee got up, brushing the dirt off his pajama pants. "But it's up to you, whether or not you tell her. I'm heading in, I want to get some sleep. You're lucky it's the weekend."

"I'll be in it a bit."

"Don't fall off, Jinora will kill me if I let anything happen to you."

He snorted. "Alright. Thanks for coming after me, Sono."

"Just don't make me make a habit of it." He paused. "Good night, Kai."

"Night, Lee."


	4. The Fight

a/n: posting two chapters but we messed up and this one is really short somehow? yeah

* * *

CHAPTER FOUR: The Fight

"Hey you, pirate."

Jinora watched as Kai's shoulders tensed, on their way to the library to start their history essays. Lee and the girls were walking a little ways ahead, but still close enough to hear the taunt. For a second, she thought Kai was going to ignore the call, but also knew that Lang Pene wasn't one to be ignored. He was one of the richest and most popular boys in school, with a nasty temper and a personal grudge against her for turning him down last year, and going to their semi-formal with Lee instead.

With dark wavy hair and amber eyes, he was every inch the spoiled Fire Nation prince, burning his rich daddy's money like the coal the Pene Company had gotten wealthy mining.

"I'm talking to you, mutt. Got a few questions for you," Pene continued with a grin, as people turned their eyes to him. He loved the attention.

Kai rolled his eyes, but kept walking. "Like how much of a dickass you are? You'll have to figure that one out on your own, Pene."

Pene's sneer turned to a scowl, and he grabbed Kai's bad shoulder, forcing him to face him. Kai winced, but threw him off. "Do you really have nothing better to do with your time?" he asked tiredly.

"Listen here—"

"I would love to, but you're really not worth my time." Kai began to turn away, when Pene shoved him against the nearest wall. Kai tried not to wince as his bad shoulder pressed into the brick wall.

"Leave him alone, Lang," said Jinora furiously.

"Tell me, is she your little slut, then?" Pene continued, leering. "You pirates and your whores."

Kai had promised not to get into any more trouble, but it wasn't enough to keep his fist from flying towards Pene's face. "Don't you _ever_ ," he spat, as the other boy stumbled, "say that again."

Pene straightened and smiled. "Oh, I struck a nerve, didn't I? You treat the pretty, rich whores special or—"

What happened next was a blur. All that Kai remembered later was that Lee had punched Pene, and then one of Pene's friends had punched him, before it was an all out brawl between Lee, Kai, and half a dozen or so of Pene's blocky fisted cronies.

It wasn't until Lee was standing in the middle of a bunch of broken-nosed, black-eyed boys, and Kai had his forearm against Pene's throat as he squirmed against the wall that it was over. "You think I haven't killed men like you?" Kai hissed, and Lee's eyes, one covered in a blue and purple bruise, widened. Nobody else could hear anything. "You think I haven't taken my sword and gutted them like a fish? Felt their blood drip over my fingers as their life drained out of them? Cleaned up their bodies from my deck? I've killed countless men like you. And if we weren't in this school, you would already be half dead on the ground, you pathetic son of a bitch. You come after Jinora, and I'll come after you. It may be years from now, but I will. And I'll do the same to anyone else that threatens her."

Kai released him, and Pene let out a warbling whimper as he tried to scurry away.

"What is going on here?!" came a voice, and Kai turned to see Pene paused in front of Professor Huang.

"Just a friendly chat, professor."

Huang marched over with a wicked scowl, and slapped Kai across the face. "You insolent boy. Come with me."

Kai rolled his eyes, but followed Professor Huang anyway, giving Pene a good, intimidating glare as he passed.

It was strange, being in a classroom alone with a professor, and he stood behind the desk, awaiting his punishment. "...Sir?"

"You will do three days of detention, after your last class."

"Alright. I understand, sir."

"Extend your arm."

"...Pardon?"

"Extend. Your. Arm. The right one, first."

Kai did as he was told, and with some semblance of self satisfaction, didn't flinch when the ruler came down on it.

Once Huang had deemed it acceptable, he told him to roll down his sleeves and check himself into the school's infirmary. His skin stung, and he knew his arms would bruise in the morning, but it didn't matter much as he walked into the infirmary and was immediately seated on a soft bed next to Lee in a long hall of hospital beds, holding an ice pack to one of his eyes.

"Got my first detention today," Lee said.

"Oh. Sorry."

"At least Pene got longer." Lee almost smiled. "Never did like that guy."

"You have a decent punch. For a rich boy."

Lee snorted. "Thanks. And you're...not so bad. For a pirate. Have you ever gotten detention before?"

Kai shook his head. "Not really. I mean, punishments on the ship include taking different chores, having to stay back with the ship while everyone else is out…" he shuddered. "Or cleaning the communal bathroom everyone shares."

"You all share one bathroom?"

"We don't exactly have much room to build a single bathroom for everyone, like we have here. The captain gets his own bathroom, and I have my own little bedroom, but beyond that, everybody is always in everybody's else's business."

"And no one gets sick?"

"How weak is rich kid immunity?"

"As if you don't like it, you bathe more than most people I know."

"I've never had running water before. Sue me."

"At least you don't smell." Both boys were trying not to smile. "So...you learned to fight like that on the ship?"

"And before then. I was on the streets for awhile."

Lee was silent for awhile, and then asked, "Does Jinora know this?"

Kai nodded. "I figured she should know who was taking a chance on."

Lee was silent. "All those things you said to Pene… it was all true, wasn't it?"

He nodded again, more solemnly. "I've done some terrible things. But there's also some terrible things that I don't regret doing."

Lee gave him a nod. "You really care about Jinora, don't you?"

Kai was quiet for a moment. "Yeah," he said softly. "But I don't think I'm very good at caring about people."

Before Lee could find something to say, the patron was fussing over something at the door to the hospital wing, unable to keep Jinora from rushing inside and over to their bedsides. She ran straight to Kai, grabbing his forearms and frantically checking his face. "You were fighting down four people at once what were you thinking—" She looked at Lee, then let go of Kai, turning on Lee. "And you! You should know better, Lee—"

"We're fine, Gyatso," said Kai, drawing her eyes back to him. "Chin up. Pene's never gonna be a jackass again. Least not to us."

Us. Him and Lee and Jinora. What a funny sort of idea, but he couldn't say he particularly minded it.

"You both could've gotten seriously hurt—"

"You don't think Kai and I could've handled it?" Lee asked, and Kai almost laughed.

"You handled one," he teased. "Are you a big boy now, Sono?"

It was the first time Kai had ever heard Lee laugh. "Not all of us were conditioned on the high seas, Tashi."

"I'll teach you how to fight then. I already taught Gyatso how to throw a knife. You can't be that much more dense."

"You're both idiots," Jinora said with a frown.

Kai lifted her chin up with his finger. "Hey. I'm your idiot."

Jinora flushed. "Yeah, you are."

Lee's smile faltered for a moment, and then he said, "What did Professor Huang do to you anyway?"

Kai let go of Jinora's chin, his smile shrinking. "Just...discipline, I guess. Nothing interesting."

"Discipline?"

"A stern talking to. It was nothing."

Jinora regarded him for a moment, and then said, "Let me look at your arms."

"What? Why?"

"Let me look at your arms," she repeated, more sternly.

"What—"

"I'm not asking, Kai. Pull up your sleeves, right now." Kai hesitated, then tugged his sleeves up to his elbows, revealing some ugly red marks that would definitely bruise later. Jinora's frown deepened, as she placed her hand on his upper arm. "He shouldn't be allowed to do this to you. We should tell the headmaster."

"Tell him what? That I got in a fight and one of the teachers rebuked me for it?"

"He hit you—"

"Yeah, the troubled charity case in need of an attitude adjustment. This isn't worth stirring up more trouble for, Jin."

"Teachers aren't supposed to become physically violent, though," Lee pointed out. "I was surprised he slapped you in front of everyone."

"He wasn't violent—and it's hardly the first time I've been knocked around. I'm fine."

"Kai," Jinora said softly. "No teacher should be allowed to abuse students—"

"You think I don't know abuse?" Kai took a deep breath, lowering his voice when he saw the look on Jinora's face. "I'm sorry. I just… let this go. Please? I'm tired." His eyes grew weary. "I am… so tired."

"Okay," Jinora said softly. She brushed his hair off his brow, and kissed his forehead. "Just please, don't go picking fights because of me again."

He gave her a soft smirk, unable to fight off the blush spreading along his cheeks. "No promises, Jin."

"You're impossible," she said, but she was smiling a little as she stepped away, and tucked her hair behind her ears. "Um, Lee and I, we'll go get your homework. So you can do something productive while we're here."

"Ugh, fine."

Jinora perked up now that he was smiling again. "Come on, Lee. Let's go."

Lee's brow furrowed as they left the hospital wing, but he gave Kai a friendly wave anyway. After all, it wasn't his fault that Jinora seemed to have a favourite between them.

###

"Jinora?"

She looked up from packing an extra bookbag with Kai's homework and textbooks to find Lee in the doorway. "Yes?"

"Remember how a few years ago, you said you didn't have a best friend, but if you did I'd be closest thing to that?"

"Yeah?"

"Is Kai your best friend now?"

She paused. "I don't know. I mean, you and Shen Shen and Pfannee and Miki are all my best friends."

Lee's brow furrowed slightly. "But he's different, isn't he?"

She turned around. "Lee, I don't love him more than I love you or any of the girls—"

"No, you just like him more." He sighed. "It's okay, Jinora, I just...wanted to know."

"Lee, it's not like that, I—of course I care about him, and have to give him a little more attention. He's making a huge adjustment, and he really only trusted me until like two weeks ago, and you two are better now, but still a little rocky, and… he saved my life." She glanced down at the book bag in her hands. "I guess it's a little different. But not like that."

Lee frowned slowly. "Alright. I'm sorry for pushing."

She looked up at him. "It's okay." She set down the book bag, and leaned up and kissed his cheek. "Have a good holiday, Lee. I'll miss you."

He smiled slightly. "Thanks, Jinora. You have a good holiday, too. And...give Kai my best."

"I will." She pulled him in for one more hug, before taking the book bags and leaving the room, looking around at the newly cleaned room. "Still can't believe you got Kai to clean up."

"For the first and last time, only, I think. Once he got used to not having to constantly clean things, I don't think he was ever planning on cleaning anything ever again."

She laughed softly. "That's probably true. At least he's relaxed a little."

"Well…" Lee gave her a slight nod. "I'll see you later."

She smiled. "See you later, Lee."

Jinora went down to the courtyard where the carriage was already waiting for them, and Kai was inside, his scarf wrapped securely around his neck and mouth. She smiled at the sight, climbing in beside him and placing his book bag in his lap.

"So we both get a good head start when we come back from the holidays," Jinora said, and Kai groaned.

"Homework sucks," he grumbled, softening when she rested her head on his shoulder.

Maybe… maybe he was a little different, after all.


	5. The Holidays Part I

CHAPTER FIVE: The Holidays Part I

The first thing that greeted them when they got home was the scent of something familiar, as the butler led them into the kitchen. Kai inhaled deeply, realization setting in before he actually saw the bowl of stew on the table. How did the cooks get Daw's recipe? Or something very similar to it—

"How was school?" came a familiar, gruff voice, and he looked up to see Lefty grinning at him. The big old pirate looked slightly out of place in a rather fancy dining room, but the oddness faded when Kai saw almost every member of his crew gathered around him.

His eyes stung with happiness. "How…?"

"Tenzin and I invited them over," came a voice so safe and familiar, that Kai almost burst into tears when he looked over and saw Yung smiling at him. He rushed over and hugged him tightly, burying his face in his shoulder even if he was a bit too tall to do so. "Hey kid," Yung said softly. "You've grown."

"Shut up," Kai mumbled, his voice breaking.

Yung laughed softly. "I've missed you too, Kai. But there's plenty of other people who wanna give you hugs too."

"Yeah," said Lefty. "What am I? Chopped liver?"

"Shut up," Kai said as he let go of Yung, hugging Lefty as well, even if his arms couldn't wrap all the way around his middle. Ryu ruffled his hair, and Appa and Imaru scooped him up into equally big hugs.

Jinora watched on with a soft smile. "You invited them over?" she asked, as her father joined her side.

"Most of them. A few of them are in town with the captain, doing work, mostly salting the docks."

"He seems really happy." She looked at her father. "I'm happy to be back with my family, too."

Tenzin smiled, hugging Jinora tightly. "It's good to have you back."

"It's good to be back, daddy." She pulled away slightly, glancing at the stairs. "Where's Mom?"

"Out, with the rest of your siblings. We didn't expect you to be back before nightfall. They'll be back soon."

"So you had the crew just waiting here with the intent of keeping them around for the rest of the evening?" Jinora asked with a slight smile.

"They were...enthusiastic, about greeting Kai home."

"He's missed them," Jinora said, looking back at the crew as they greeted their boy. "I don't think he's ever been away for that long before."

"Yung's been so worried," said Tenzin. They watched as Yung hugged Kai again, reaching up to ruffle his hair. "Reminds me of myself when you went away to boarding school for the first time, when you were eleven. He's been adjusting alright?"

"As well as can be expected." Jinora smiled softly. "But yes, I think he's doing alright."

"He and Lee are getting along as roommates?"

"They had a bit of a rocky start, but yes."

"And he's doing well in school?"

"Actually, yes. He…" She sighed. "I'm sure you got some letters from the school."

"Only a few. And I mainly gave them to Yung, before I read them myself. I have to admit, I expected him to get into more fights than he did."

Jinora almost laughed. "Did they mention Lee was in that fight, too?"

Tenzin's brows raised. "With each other, or—"

"They were on the same side, actually."

"Really? What was it over?"

"Um, some of the other boys were giving us girls a hard time, is all," she said.

"I doubt anyone else will be giving you a hard time after this."

She let out a quiet laugh. "Things certainly have been quieter since then," she said. Kai was now sitting at the table, talking to Daw as he held a spoon over his stew. "Should we wait till Mom and the others are back to join them, or…?"

"I don't think they'll mind," said Tenzin. Jinora smiled, and they both joined the rest of the crew as the servants set out the rest of the food.

###

It was half past eleven when Jinora heard the trees shaking outside, snow falling onto her balcony, glowing faintly in the moonlight. She looked from her book, setting it aside on top of her covers and climbed out of bed, walking silently towards her balcony doors, and cracking them open.

She didn't expect to see Kai in a tree.

"What the hell are you doing?" she hissed, the winter air bitter against her nightgown.

"I wanted to see you." He was crouching on branches near the edge of her balcony, high enough a fall could break his neck or worse, and her stomach lurched forwards. She'd always hated heights, always hated seeing other people be up high, and this was no exception, as she stepped forward, hands on her hips.

"You couldn't have just used hallways like a normal person?" she snapped.

"Nope!" He leapt from the branches and she nearly screamed, when he landed almost gracefully in front of her, brushing snow off his pants. "Hey, are you—"

"You are such an idiot!" she whispered furiously.

"Can you tell me why?" he asked, arching an eyebrow.

"You—you could have fallen and hurt yourself again and—I hate heights, alright, so—" She turned away from him, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Jinora, I'm a good climber—"

"I don't care how good you are, you could've slipped and fallen."

"I'm sorry." Kai shoved his hands in his pockets. "I didn't mean to make you feel worried."

Jinora pursed her lips, then turned around. "Please don't do that again."

"I won't. I'll use the hallways next time."

Jinora almost smiled. "Though I don't think my father would be happy to find you in my room at this hour."

Kai grinned. "Pirates don't get caught." His grin softened as he looked at her. "And getting to see you is worth the risk."

She blushed, but turned away so they could step away from the cold and into her room. "You see me all the time, dummy."

"True," he admitted, following her inside. "But I almost never see you with your hair down. It's cute."

Her blush deepened. "It gets messy when it's down for too long," she mumbled, sitting down on the edge of her bed. She didn't move away when Kai sat down next to her. "Kind of like yours, except yours is worse."

Kai chuckled. "Then you'd know that I like messy hair. Even on you."

Jinora rolled her eyes. "Please. You like everything about me." Her cheeks turned pink when he leaned in slightly.

"And what if I do?"

She didn't smile. "Kai, be serious. You're hardly a flirt."

Kai snorted softly, leaning away from her. "Fine, fine. It's still weird to be on holiday, though. I mean, back when I was recovering I couldn't do much, but even that happens sometimes on the ship, and then at school there's all this stuff to write, but… are we really not supposed to do _anything_ for the next two weeks?"

"We can do things if you want. There's a nearby pond we can ice skate on—"

"Ice skate?"

"You've never gone ice skating before?"

"I was raised on a boat, remember?"

Jinora grinned. "Then that's one thing we have to do on holiday. And we also help the servants decorate the house, and frost the cookies, and the night of the Spirit Festival, we'll have a big dinner—it's usually just for family, so we can invite the crew again, since they're your family—and there's New Year's, and everything. It'll be fun, and much less boring, I promise."

"I'm surprised your family doesn't give you anything to do. As heir, I mean."

Her face fell. "Oh, well, my Governess will be stopping by for a few days, and I have to attend the New Year's ball, but she mostly fusses over my siblings. I am, in her words, a nearly perfect lady."

"She's wrong," Kai said.

Jinora blinked at him. "Wrong?"

"I've seen you say and do some very unladylike things, and you're perfect just the way you are."

Jinora bit back a smile, bumping his shoulder with hers. "Could you tell the Governess that? She just might believe you."

He waggled his eyebrows and she giggled. "Well I am very persuasive."

"Of course you are," she said with a soft snort. "Hey, do you want to read before you have to go back to your room? I can just read aloud if—"

"If it's easy enough, I can try. Professor Zei says I've improved a lot, anyway," he said, his chest puffing out slightly.

"Really?" Jinora got up, picking a book off her desk, before sitting back down next to Kai and placing it in his lap. She leaned back with her own book, opening to the marked page. "Try that. We can switch off paragraphs if you get tired."

Kai threw her a look, flopping back down on her bed. "I've read this one before. Can't we—hey, what are you reading now?"

"Oh, um…" Her cheeks grew warm. "It's...kind of embarrassing."

"What, are you reading a romance novel or something?" he teased. "Oh my God you are—now I have to read it." He plucked it off her night stand, holding it out of her reach when she tried to grab it back, cracking it open. "Now this is _really_ unladylike—"

"Shut up! It's not...explicit, or anything! Stuff is just...implied."

"Implied. What a sinner you are, Miss Gyatso—"

"The rest of the book isn't like that!"

"No wonder you were so flustered when I stopped by your window as a surprise, if you were reading _this_ —"

"Shut up, it's not like I'd ever think of you like that—"

"Well you don't have to insult me—"

"I didn't mean it like— _oh my God._ " She buried her face in her hands and Kai laughed, his arm clutched over his stomach. "Shut up."

He poked her in the arm. "Hey, hey," he said more gently with each poke. "I'm just teasing." He put the book back in her lap. "Honestly, I've seen the crew do more walks of shame than I'd ever want to, and compared to that, this is tame. Disappointing, even."

Jinora slowly uncovered her face, peeking at him from behind her hands. "Really?"

"I've seen Lefty naked. Nothing can faze me anymore."

Jinora bit back a laugh. "We're still not reading it."

"Alright, fine. But pick out something I haven't read before."

"Okay, okay, let me go see what I can find, you picky pirate."

In the end, they settled on an old favourite of Jinora's that Kai hadn't read yet, and were up late laughing and reading, with almost no trouble reading the words at all.

###

Tenzin hadn't expected to open the door in the morning to find the Captain of the Waterbender staring him in the face with a grizzly beard. "Governor," Zaheer said shortly.

"Captain." Tenzin smiled thinly. "Is there anything I can help you with?"

"I've come for the boy."

"The boy?" Tenzin repeated slowly.

"Kai. He has training, now he's healed and home from school."

"O-oh. Um, he's currently having breakfast with my family, but if you could come back later—"

"I've waited half a year already. I need to see him. Now."

Tenzin sighed, and slowly stepped aside. "Very well, Captain. But please, be reasonable. He only got back yesterday and I'm sure he's tired. School was a challenge he's never experienced before, both mentally and emotionally."

"And he knows that he's still expected to pull his weight as part of my crew."

Tenzin just pursed his lips as he led Zaheer into the dining room, where the rest of his family was chatting over pancakes, various freshly-baked danishes, and crystal glasses of lychee juice. The talking stopped when they all saw Zaheer.

"Won't you at least join us for breakfast, before you go?" Tenzin asked with a small, forced smile.

"No time." Zaheer looked at Kai expectantly. "C'mon, boy."

Yung set down his silverware. "Captain—"

"Kai," Zaheer said, raising an eyebrow. Kai sighed a little, but got up, leaving half of his breakfast on his plate.

"I'll go grab my sword," he mumbled, passing by his captain.

"Wear something loose. You're training outside."

Kai had left the room by the time Yung said, frowning deeply, "It's freezing outside." He gestured towards the window that had gray clouds and thick snow coating the ground, ice paved over the rocky pathways that led up from the house to the docks.

"It's no different than his regular training in winter, Yung," said Zaheer tiredly. "But you can come watch if you're so worried."

Yung stood up from the breakfast table, crossing his arms. "I will, then."

Kai came back down in the stairs in a new t-shirt and his sword strapped to his side, in its sheath, along with his dagger, and looked between them. "So? Am I whacking dummies or what?"

"Dummies first," said Zaheer, tearing his glare away from Yung, his eyes softening as he looked at Kai. "And then Imaru. Come on, before we waste anymore time."

###

Sweat dripped down his brow chilled in the cold air as Kai pierced his sword through the dummy's chest, stuffing falling out in little tufts, almost blending in with the snow.

"You're being sloppy," Zaheer said sternly. "Run the motion again, and this time, keep your elbows tight."

Kai grit his teeth, but did as he was told, finding that the after swing of his sword was easier to manage as it cut through the dummy's side nearly in two. It had more strength, too.

"It's a good thing you're not as rusty as I was expecting," said Zaheer slowly.

"I mostly just threw my knife around to blow off steam," Kai admitted, glad when Zaheer didn't utter a command, which meant it was time for a short break.

"And how are you faring in school?"

"Okay. I'm pretty good at arithmetic, and geography, even if the geography teacher hates my guts."

"And the other children?"

"Mostly leave me alone." Kai's lips twitched upwards. "I think I scare them. Or I do now, after I won a couple of fights."

"Good." Zaheer was quiet for a moment, before he asked, rather stiffly, "But you'll continue your schooling?"

Kai shrugged, unable to bring himself to look at him. For his captain, this was particularly personal, which wasn't something either of them were used to. "I guess, yeah. I mean… it's good to keep my options open, right?"

"Right." Zaheer walked towards him, and Kai forced himself to look him in the eye. "Like the Gyatso girl."

Kai's eyes widened. "I don't—"

"I see the way you look at her, Kai, so I want you to keep something in mind. She is interested in you because you are new, different, and convenient."

His eyes hardened. "She's not like that—"

"Perhaps not her, but her crowd is. The Gyatsos took you in after you had made something of yourself, and they hope to make you better, in their eyes. Their kindness is conditional. When and if you step out of line, they will cast you right back where they found you. You cannot allow yourself to grow rusty."

Kai frowned. "But—"

"Who took you in when you were nothing? Who gave you the chance to be something in the first place?"

He swallowed. "You did."

"Who kept you even when it was inconvenient? Even when you disobeyed and stole from me?"

It was the reason he'd been sent to the bank in the first place, as punishment for nicking coins for expensive medicine for Imaru a week beforehand, when the pirate had fallen ill and Zaheer had refused to try a new remedy. Still, the fact that his punishment hadn't been more severe was lucky, and surprising.

"You did," Kai said sullenly.

"Then remember that, and keep your head on your shoulders. Now," Zaheer turned to see Imaru and Yung coming up from respective sides of the frozen hill. "Get ready to spar. If you win three times over, you can go enjoy yourself for the day. For any match you lose, you have to win it another three times over."

Kai barely held back a groan. "Yes, Captain."

He had a feeling Imaru was going easy on him, but Zaheer didn't press it, even when he knocked the much larger man into the snow for the third time. It wasn't like he couldn't beat Imaru regularly, but usually it was a bit more difficult due to Imaru's superior size and weight. Kai pulled Imaru back up onto his feet with a grunt, then looked at Zaheer for permission to leave. Zaheer gave him a tiny nod, and Kai let out a sigh of relief, before running back to the estate.

"Be good and have fun and stay safe!" Yung called after him.

He needed a change of clothes that weren't hot and cold all at once.

Jinora was sitting outside in a warm capelet and gloves, and she waved him over when he caught her eye. He ran over, raising the hem of his shirt to wipe away some of the cold sweat on his forehead.

"Hey," he dragged the cloth over his face, before letting go. "Sorry, I didn't know Captain was gonna be so strict right off the bat. I'm sure he's putting together a training routine at the moment."

"Well," said Jinora, her face pink, but he figured it was because of the cold, "if your lessons could align with the ones I have to take from the Governess, that would be perfect."

"I'll see if I can run that by him. Uh, lemme go change, and then we can figure the rest of the day out?"

She nodded. "Let's go inside." She smiled when Kai took her hand, helping her onto her feet, and they walked into the estate together. "I do have lessons with my Governess tomorrow, though."

"That's alright. I can see if I can do more training while you're doing that, and then we can hang out after?"

Jinora nodded, as they walked inside, the warm air soothing their chilled skin. "We can do anything you want."

"I'm a lot more concerned about what you want, to be honest."

"Oh, well… I still want to teach you how to ice skate. And we can have snowball fights, make snowmen… And when we get too cold, we can spend some time in the library with hot chocolate, or we can make cookies. The chefs let Ikki and I have full access to the kitchen this time of year. What do you do for fun in the winter?"

"We have snowball fights when there's enough of it on the deck, and skid on the deck when it's full of ice. We get to sleep in more too, and there's less chores, but we have hot chocolate all the time. Especially when it's my turn for the night watch."

"Night watch?"

"You know, you climb up to the top of the crow's nest, and, well, keep watch over the ship. In case any enemy ships or trouble gets stirred up. It's only happened a few times while I was on guard."

Jinora swallowed, thinking of how high the Waterbender's mast went. "No wonder you weren't afraid of climbing trees."

"The mast is higher than the trees here."

"It is?"

"It's safe, though, don't worry."

"Safe?"

"I'll help you climb up there sometime, if you ever want to visit the ship. The view's amazing. Better than any wide window view at school or even here, especially for stargazing."

Jinora almost smiled. "Rohan would love that."

"I'll bring him up one night too, then, but… the first one should be just for us, don't you think?" He ignored the heat rising to his cheeks.

Jinora gave him a small, nervous smile. "Yeah. And that way I can make sure it's safe enough."

"Yeah." He gave her a lopsided grin. "Tonight? I just have to go tell whoever's on night duty they have it off."

"Okay, yes. Tonight… sounds good."

"Okay, I'll just go, um, change, and then let the crew know." He jogged upstairs and Jinora watched him go, letting out a soft happy sigh.

The holidays had never felt warmer.

###

The ship was smaller than she expected, looking almost dreamlike with snow and ice around it. She took Kai's hand as she boarded onto the ship, and he guided her over the slippery, silent deck, and over to the icy ropes that formed a ladder on all sides of the tall mast. She looked up at it and swallowed hard, her throat going dry.

"It's a shorter climb than it looks," Kai said, holding out his hand.

"Um, it's...alright, I can...stay here—"

"Jinora, I promise I won't let you fall." His eyes were warm and kind as he asked, "Do you trust me?"

Jinora bit her lip, placing her hand in Kai's. "Yes."

"Okay. Now, you go up first, and I'll be behind, so I can catch you just in case, okay?"

"Alright." She took a deep breath, and began climbing. Her legs shook as she climbed up each rope rung, yelping when her foot missed one. She felt Kai's hand on her hip, and nearly shivered.

"I've got you," he said, and Jinora took a breath, before continuing her climb.

She just about collapsed in relief when she finally reached the top, and found blankets and two mugs and a kettle crowding the already small space. She pulled herself into a ball, drawing her knees up to her chest as she scooted over to let Kai climb in beside her. When he wrapped an arm around her, she leaned into him.

"You okay?" he asked quietly. Jinora nodded.

"Never been this high up before," she mumbled. "But… what are the mugs and kettle for?"

"Hot chocolate. The kettle will keep it warm, see?" He took her hand and guided it to the handle of the kettle, letting her fingertips graze it; it was surprisingly hot. "Want some? It might calm us down?"

Jinora nodded, taking her hand away from the kettle, but keeping it in Kai's hand, as he used his free hand to pour some hot chocolate into both mugs, handing one to her. She blew on it first, and then took a sip; it was hot, warming her down to her toes, and made of milk and creamy chocolate. "It's delicious," she murmured.

"I'll make sure to tell our cook that," Kai said. "He helped me make it."

"The man that made your coming home meal?" Jinora asked, and Kai nodded, taking a sip from his own mug.

"Daw. He used to be a cook in a high society home, but left, I think. Something along those lines, anyway." He grinned at her, and she wrinkled her nose at the glint of amusement in his eye.

"What?"

"You have a milk mustache, milady."

"What?" She flushed, and went to wipe it away when Kai leaned over and cupped her face, his thumb wiping away at her upper lip.

"There you go," he said, his voice suddenly soft.

Her cheeks were burning when he let go of her face. "Thanks."

He ducked his head and a ran a hand through his hair. "No problem." He cleared his throat. "So, uh, do you have any favourite constellations?"

She looked up at the sky, chills running down her arms when she saw how clear the sky was from the crow's nest, the stars twinkling brightly at them from above. "It's so…"

"Beautiful?" Kai suggested, although his eyes were on her instead of the sky. She nodded, her eyes wide and sparkling like the stars above.

"It all feels so much closer," she said quietly. She pointed to a cluster of stars. "There's Rohan's favourite constellation, I think."

"Roku's flare?"

"Mmhm. Next to the sky bison."

"And then there's the walls of Ba Sing Se, Kyoshi's fan, Yangchen's arrow…" Kai guided her arm a little over to the left, and then closer to the sea. "And that star right that, that's the first one of the trail to Paradise."

"Paradise?"

"You'd know it as Tiantang, I guess. The pirate city?"

"Oh, right. Have you ever been?"

"A few times, before I was fourteen. But Captain made a few bad business deals, so we haven't gone back in the past three years… it's not a fun place, for all the talk of paradise. You can imagine how lawless a city like that could be, where power and money and fear is quite literally everything…" Kai frowned slowly. "Captain thinks that when I'm older, I could carve out a place for myself there."

"Do...do you want to?"

He snorted. "I don't think anyone really wants to be in a place like that. No matter how much power I'd have. All I want is for my crew to be taken care of. I don't need anything else. I know what sort of lot I've been given in life, and it's more than I thought I'd get, when I was a kid."

Jinora bit her lip, glancing back up at the sky. "Do you plan to go back? After you're done with school?"

"This year, or with all of it?"

"Both."

He cracked a smile. "I think we should wait and see if I even pass my end of year exams first."

Jinora almost smiled, nudging him gently. "I know you will. Professor Zei says you're improving every day, and… that wasn't a real answer, you know."

He sighed. "I mean, the crew's my family. I know they want what's best for me, and they'd want me to do something better than being a pirate if I got the chance, but… I don't know if I'm really fit to be anything else. I guess if I finish up secondary school, I could go to college and… help people, or something, but…"

"You could become an advisor to my father," she suggested.

He shook his head. "Your father's done enough for me already."

"And then you'd be doing something for him, if you tried for the job," said Jinora. "You'd offer a perspective that most other prospective employees wouldn't have."

"Because I'm poor?"

"Because you have an empathy that I've never seen in anyone else."

"If he wants someone with empathy, he should hire Yung. He's the reason I am what I am."

"And you know how proud he is of who you are." Jinora tucked himself into Kai's side, mostly for the warmth. "You took a bullet for me. I will never forget that."

Kai slowly wrapped his arm around her shoulders, running his thumb down her upper arm. "It wouldn't have been a very good world if it didn't have you in it."

"You didn't know that, back then."

"I know now. And I knew before that well… I have a general belief that people deserve to live until they give me a reason to think otherwise." He glanced at her, smiling softly. "And knowing you now, I know you could never give me a reason to think otherwise."

"That's probably the most interesting compliment you've ever given me, pirate," she half teased, poking him in the chest with her finger. "You wouldn't kill me. Should I be swooning?"

"Shut up, you know what I mean," he mumbled with a slight smile. "I meant that to say that I wouldn't let anyone else hurt you."

"Still."

"You're so mean sometimes," he grinned.

"I have to be. You've never attended a tea party for young high society ladies. Gossip and sharp wit are our swords and daggers, I'm afraid."

"You must have heard gossip about me, then. What do the fine young ladies think?"

"Honestly?" Jinora arched an eyebrow at him, grinning. "They think you're roguishly handsome, such a poor sailor boy. Although I'm sure some of them like you because they want to give their parents a heart attack, but overall… you're quite popular. Haven't you noticed?"

"Not really," he admitted, an adorable blush colouring his cheeks. "Although a lot of boys like you too. I think that's where most of the dirty looks come from, that get sent my way, to be honest."

"Well, I'm not interested in any of them whether or not you're there, so they won't get anything accomplished that way."

"And who are you interested in?"

Jinora's cheeks burned. "No—no one."

"Not even Sono?"

"Lee? No, we're just friends."

"If you say so."

"We are. Really."

"Okay, I believe you."

She frowned. "You don't sound like you believe me."

"What should I sound like, then?"

"You are so—ugh—"

"Hey," he took her hands and wound their fingers together, "I'm only teasing. See? I'm shutting up now. I'll just drink my hot chocolate in silence."

Jinora almost smiled. "Fine."

Kai didn't know when she had fallen asleep, only that her head dropped onto his shoulder once they had stopped talking to just look at the stars, and she was snuffling quietly with her eyes shut. Kai rested his head on top of hers, breathing in deeply. Her hair smelled like soap and flowers. He tugged the blankets around them further up her shoulder.

"Sleep well, Jin."

###

They were woken up before it got too late into the night, and made their way back to the Gyatso estate just fine, if a little chilled, and they drank more hot chocolate (that wasn't as good as Daw's) in the library, before going back to their respective rooms.

"Does your father know you were out with me?" Kai asked with a grin, as he walked her to her door.

Jinora grinned back at him, leaning against her bedroom door. "No."

"How scandalous of you, Miss Gyatso."

"Shut up," she mumbled, smiling softly. They both hesitated, before Jinora took his shoulder and leaned in, quickly pecking him on the cheek. "Goodnight, Kai," she murmured, her cheeks burning.

"G-goodnight, Jin." He was still standing there when Jinora disappeared into her bedroom, his entire face burning up.

He stood there for a moment, before realizing he should probably go back to his own room before someone found him. He forced his feet to move, going into his room and burying himself in the sheets, trying to get his heart to stop pounding.

It was just Jinora. It shouldn't have been anything special… even as he grew more and more certain that _she_ was.

###

Jinora took another painstakingly slow sip of her tea, pulling her shawl further over her shoulders once she had set down her cup. Governess Manirak had insisted on having afternoon tea outside in the frosty gardens, as the sun was out and there no chilly winds. That, and the governess was so cold Jinora had often thought weather like this was her natural habitat.

Manirak had raised her small, pointy nose in the air when she'd seen that Kai was practicing his sword-fighting with a few of the crew further down the large hill that led up to the mansion, closer to the docks. "I still don't know why your father allows those ruffians near the estate," she muttered, dabbing at her thin mouth with a napkin.

"They're good men, Governess," Jinora said as evenly as she could.

"Men?" she scoffed. "They're criminals. You cannot be so naive as to not know what goes on in that ship of theirs."

"I know what they're like, who they are."

"Then tell me, what is the worst crime that charity case of yours has committed? You don't even know, do you?"

Jinora frowned. "He's not a charity case. He's actually very smart." Jinora glanced out the window, watching him closely. He was in the middle of some kind of boxing game with a bored looking man who was closer to his size than some of the others; Zaheer and Yung were overlooking the match. "He's my friend."

"Pirates lie for a living. Do not think that he is not just using you and the opportunities your family can give him."

When Kai caught her eye, she smiled and waved at him. He waved back, before getting punched in the face. Jinora gasped, then let out a slow sigh of relief when he just shook it off, and squared his shoulders.

"Kai!" Zaheer snapped, loud enough to hear from the mansion's porch. "Pay attention."

"He's not the only one who needs to pay better attention," Manirak said coldly. Jinora frowned, glancing at her governess.

"What was I supposed to be paying attention to?"

"Whether your guest needs more tea," said Manirak, tilting her empty teacup slightly. Jinora resisted the urge to roll her eyes, taking the teapot in her hands. "A boy like that won't give you anything but disappointment and a bad reputation, Miss Gyatso."

Jinora fought back a frown. "Then you'll be pleased to know I spent most of last night with him unsupervised," she snapped.

"You _what_?"

"On his ship," Jinora said, as she poured out a fresh cup of tea. She set down the teapot firmly. "Is that a problem?"

The Governess narrowed her eyes, and stood up stiffly from the table. "I'll have to speak to your father about this, young lady."

"My father knows Kai is a good person."

"We'll see if he still thinks that after I've told him of your...outing," Manirak said sharply. "Good day to you, Miss Gyatso. Hopefully the next time I come to see you, you have better manners."

Jinora rolled her eyes when the governess left, considering whether she should follow her or not. Who knew what ridiculous exaggeration she'd make to her father, but… she couldn't quite find the energy for it either. It was cold but the tea was warm, and Kai was still practicing, this time with a sword, and looked rather handsome. They were worse ways to pass the time, weren't there?

She met him outside when he was finished with training, immediately examining the bruise forming on his jaw with a gentle touch of her fingers against his cheek.

"I'm fine," he said. "Ryu wasn't hitting that hard, anyway."

"Still, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to distract you."

"Nah." He gave her a big, lopsided grin. "It was worth it."

Jinora flushed. "Come inside, there's some tea left."

"So, what's your Governess like?" he asked, following her inside.

"A wet blanket," Jinora said, as the sat down in the tearoom. Kai snorted.

"She's really that bad?"

"She's meant to make me into a perfect lady, so yes. It's all about etiquette, and manners, and holding my tongue, and avoiding unladylike topics, like politics and economics."

"If it's any consolation, I know how that feels. Sorta. Zaheer doesn't like it when I criticize how he budgets our money."

"You don't like how he budgets the money?"

"It's fine mostly, but sometimes he'll spend it on a gamble, like supplies to go search for some kind of legendary treasure, or something. Or he'll work with...shadier kinds of people, and get jobs carrying merchandise we try to stay away from, like drugs and other shit—stuff, I mean stuff." Kai looked back at her. "I thought you were already a perfect lady though. Shouldn't your governess be moving onto your siblings? Not that I want them to go through that torture, but…"

Jinora smiled thinly. "I practically am, but I also have more lessons to learn since I'll be of age in almost two years, and… whoever I marry will be a shoo-in for my father's position as Governor, for a number of reasons, so as heir I do have higher stakes in the game than Ikki, or Meelo. Rohan is still too young, and boys are given much greater leniency anyway."

Kai frowned. "That's not fair."

"That's how it works, unfortunately. Aren't women treated differently in the pirate world?"

"At first maybe. It's a bit harder for them to get scary reputations, but all that really matters is that you know how to fight well and pull your own weight. It's pretty rare for a crew to not have any women—somehow we ended up as one of the exceptions."

Jinora folded her hands in her lap. "Those women are lucky. Getting to travel the world, see new adventures every day…"

"Sleeping in the same clothes all the time? Doing loads of chores? It's not all glamorous you know. There's no hot water, and hardly any caviar."

"We don't even eat caviar," Jinora said with a slight raise of her eyebrow. "We're vegetarian, remember?"

"Still."

"Besides, how do you know I couldn't handle it?"

"I'm not saying you couldn't, I'm just saying, it's a lot more difficult than you're making it out to be. It's a lot of work for a life that's not very stable, and you might not—"

"I know it's difficult. I don't know exactly how difficult it would be, but I just… I'll never get the chance to learn. And I know that sounds like a silly complaint, but how would you feel if your entire life was planned out for you?"

"I wouldn't mind that much, if it was done by someone who really loved me."

"Just because someone loves you doesn't mean they know what's best for you."

Kai was quiet for a little while. "Have you told your father that?"

"That's not how my crowd works," she said sullenly.

"Your father loves you. He'd want you to be happy."

"It's not that simple. I have a reputation, a responsibility, to my family, to my father's career. I can't just say and do whatever I want."

"None of that matters if you're unhappy, Jin."

"You…" She sighed. "You don't understand. You've never had to deal with that sort of thing."

His expression darkened. "Yeah, well, my reputation isn't exactly a positive one. I'm just saying, if you're going to let yourself be miserable, you have to hold yourself accountable for it too."

"I'm not _miserable_ —and right now I know exactly who to blame for my horrible mood," she snapped, glaring at him.

Kai threw up his hands. "Great, perfect. Have fun with that."

"Ugh, you are so—" She stood up, then stormed out of the mansion's back entrance foyer. Kai let out a huff, crossing his arms over his chest.

Whatever. If she wanted to get mad at him for being honest, that was her problem.

###

"Kai, may I have a word with you?"

Tenzin hadn't expected to find the boy throwing knives at his aiming board with such vigour, but at least it seemed he was as skilled as ever, clasping his hand firmly over the hilt before he could let it fly, and lowering his arm before turning towards the governor.

"Of course, sir."

He followed Tenzin out into the hallway, not knowing what to expect when the older man said, "I heard that you and Jinora were on your ship unaccompanied the other night."

"O-oh, I didn't know that we needed—Uh, I can get Yung to stay with us next time?"

"I'm sure you didn't mean any harm," Tenzin said carefully. "There are just… some implications, that some people may make, when they see a young man and woman spending time alone together, especially at night." Tenzin shifted uncomfortably. "Kai, has… has anyone ever told you about the birds and the bees?"

"I live on a ship with Lefty," Kai said without missing a beat.

"Yes, but—"

"That's literally all there is to it, sir. I know more than I would ever, ever need to know. Ever." Kai tugged on the collar of his shirt. "All Jinora and I did was stargaze. The crow's nest has a good view, is all."

"Oh, I see. Well… I suppose I don't need to send someone to accompany you, but could you let me or my wife know, before you go next time?"

"Um, sure." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Wouldn't that be Jinora's job, though?"

"Well, either of you, but, yes, I suppose I should tell her too. Are you both, er, planning to visit the ship again?"

"No, I...I don't think she wants to see me at all tonight."

"Oh?"

"We had an argument, and…" He sighed. "I'd rather not talk about it, sir."

Tenzin held up his hands. "Very well. Just know you can come to me if you wish to talk… I hope the two of you work things out soon."

"Thanks. Me too."

###

The ship was still icy but warmer in the daytime, as the crew brought cargo up to the deck so it would be easier to unload when they sailed into town. Kai dodged a few attempted hair ruffles, not wanting to stay long (but then again, now that he didn't want to be at the mansion, a bit of hard labour might do him good)

Kai helped Appa with a box that was slipping out of his arms, even if his knees buckled slightly under the weight. He set it down and Appa clapped him gently on the shoulder. "Are you sure you don't want to take my chores for the day, kid?" he asked.

Kai laughed. "Sorry, old man. Just here for a little visit."

Appa's smile faltered. "Yeah. We've missed you, Kai."

"I've missed you too." Kai's face brightened. "Have you seen Whiskers, anywhere? I haven't seen her since you guys came, and I am her favourite, so—"

The cat had been on the ship since before he was, grey and white with a pink nose, and prone to chasing away any mice, and curling up in his lap, or winding her way around his legs at dinner for head scratches, because only Kai could hit just the right spot behind her ears.

Appa's face fell. "Kai, I—no one told you?"

"Told me what?"

He paused, then said, "Whiskers passed away a few weeks ago."

Kai's stomach dropped. "She…?"

"She passed peacefully. Longshot helped the process again with a little injection, but she didn't feel a thing. We buried her on a beach near the tip of the Gold Coast, once we reached the shore." Appa reached for his shoulder. "Kai—"

"I'm fine," he said shortly, stepping away. His eyes were burning. "It's fine. You've all been back for almost two days but no one bothered to tell me that Whiskers was—and it's fine. It's fine."

"I'm sorry, I thought—"

"I should go," Kai said shortly, before running off the ship, stuck between two homes, and now neither of them fit. The only place that could offer some sanctuary was his old room in the mansion, before he'd started sharing with Yung. Nobody would look for him there, and the servants never paid him any attention now that they were sure he wasn't going to steal anything. If he could just make it to the room before someone noticed him—

"Hi, Kai!"

"Hey," he said, not looking at Rohan. He ran past him, irritation rising when Rohan tried to run after him. "Rohan, this really isn't a good time."

"Why not?"

"Because well—it's complicated."

"Is it because Jinora's been grumpy all day?"

"What? No."

"Then what—"

"It's none of your business, Rohan!"

Rohan stopped, and Kai didn't look back, as he ran into his room, locking the door shut before sinking against it to the floor, and burying his face in his hands. That stupid cat had been one of the first things that had ever made him feel at home on the ship, one of the first people to like him (after Yung and maybe Lefty), she couldn't just be gone—and no one had even told him, Zaheer had known for weeks and nobody had bothered to tell him, even in a letter had—had so much distance really formed between him and his crew in such a short time? He'd never even known that she'd been sick…

There was a knock at his door. "Go away," he snapped.

"Kai?" It was Jinora. Great.

"Go away, Gyatso."

"I'm not leaving," she said.

" _Go away._ "

" _No._ "

Cursing under his breath, Kai stood up, undid the lock, and yanked the door open, hoping his eyes weren't too red. "What the hell do you fucking want?" he demanded.

Jinora blinked, taken aback, but then her face hardened. "What is your problem? Rohan just came to me crying and said you got mad at him over something."

"Well then you can pass on an apology, and a promise that I'll make it up to him later, and _you can leave me alone_."

"Rohan's with my mother sobbing his eyes out, _what did you do?_ "

"I didn't _do_ anything, I just didn't have time or the energy to keep up with him! Now _leave me alone_! You're the last person I want to see right now."

Jinora shoved him, partly because she was mad, and mostly so he wouldn't be able to slam the door in her face. "I could say the same thing to you, you—you asshole!"

"Then why are you here?"

"My brother's crying because of you!"

"I didn't mean to snap at him, alright? I was just—"

" _Just what_?!"

Kai's eyes stung, and he slammed his fist against the nearest wall, far away from her. "The cat on our ship died and nobody bothered to tell me, alright?" he muttered, bowing his head so he wouldn't have to look at her.

Jinora was silent for a moment. "Kai…"

"I don't—she's been there since before I was and I _don't need your pity—_ "

"You're such an idiot," she said quietly.

"Wow, thanks." He glanced up when she took his arm, her fingers sliding down to his.

"It's okay to grieve, Kai."

"There's never been much of a reason or time to, before," he said, still a tad terse.

"There's time now." She slowly let go of his hand. "I was still little when my grandfather died. My father and I ate cookies and drank warm milk together, to get through the first month without him. And when my pet sparrowkeet died when I was eleven, I was inconsolable for a week." She almost smiled. "Cookies and warm milk became a grieving food, in the family. It helps a little, especially when you have someone to share it with."

"Jin, I appreciate it, but I don't think… not now, okay?"

"Can I stay with you? I won't say anything."

He slowly nodded, sinking back down onto the floor and closing his eyes, even when her knee brushed his as she sat cross-legged beside him. There was a lump burning in his throat, and tears threatening to leak out from under his eyes, but he would not cry. Especially not in front of Jinora. He stiffened when Jinora rested her head on his shoulder, but didn't move away.

"I'm sorry for getting mad at you yesterday," she mumbled. "I don't even remember who's right anymore. I don't care who's right."

"I'm pretty sure I was right," he said, almost smiling, "but I shouldn't have pushed you like a jerk. I just want to remember that your life is your life, and you shouldn't let anyone take that away from you. Not for anything."

"I've missed you," she said softly. "It's not fun being mad at you."

"It's not fun being mad at you either." He began to relax, resting his head on top of hers. "I'm sorry for being so… I don't handle my emotions well, but I'm sorry for taking it out on you."

"You don't have to deal with them alone." She laced her fingers through his. "But if you want to, I'll still be here, you know. Waiting till you're ready to talk again."

Kai sighed. "Was Rohan really that upset?"

"He really does look up to you."

He frowned. "I'm sorry."

"He won't hold it against you."

"Still, I...I didn't mean to get mad at him. Or make him so upset."

"When you're ready, I'm sure he'll accept your apology." She smiled slightly. "I mean, if I did, I guess anyone would."

Kai ran his hands through his hair. "Jinora… why can't I be happy?"

Jinora sat up slightly, frowning. "Kai?"

"I don't belong anywhere. Not here, not at school, not on the ship, I—" His voice broke. "And just when things are going okay something always comes along and then it's not—and then when I am happy I can't even enjoy it because I know that something is going to come along and ruin it, right? I'm just going to do something and ruin it for everyone, like I always do, and—" He trailed off and swallowed hard.

"You're not ruining anything—"

"I got you mad at me and then the crew didn't even tell me that Whiskers was sick while I was at school and then I made Rohan cry and I still don't know _anything_ and Yung will be disappointed because I was actually making progress but it's not enough and—"

"Kai." Jinora took both his hands. "You don't have to have it all together, okay? Yung won't be disappointed, he's already so proud of you, and so am I, for any and all progress you've made. Rohan will forgive you, and you were grieving, and I'm sure the crew just didn't want to tell you to spare you from the pain… and you don't have to any of it alone, okay? I'm here."

Kai's bottom lip quivered. "Jin…"

"You're my best friend, Kai. You don't have to do any of this alone, ever again. Yung loves you so much. _I_ love you."

He didn't bother to reach up to wipe at his eyes when a single tear slipped out, and then another on his other cheek. He let out a shaky breath. When Jinora wiped away his tears, more spilled out, till he grabbed her wrist to gently stop her.

"I don't usually… cry like this," he mumbled. "In front of people. Or friends. Or anyone. Just give me a moment, to get it—get it under control."

"It's okay to cry," she said softly.

He shook his head. "It's not… it's complicated, and I think I've dumped enough on you for one day so—I just don't cry—" He wiped furiously at his eyes, blinking them dry. "Okay?"

Jinora nodded slowly. "Okay." She slowly took his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Do you need some time alone?" He nodded. "Alright, just… I'll be waiting outside."

"Thank you, Jinora," he said softly, kissing the back of her hand. She smiled softly, giving it another squeeze before letting go. He watched her leave, closing the door behind her, and his eyes filled with tears as he realized that she was probably sitting by the door, waiting for him.

He had shown her one of the worst parts of him, small and needy and vulnerability laced with anger, and she hadn't even flinched. She'd only opened up more, and hell, he'd cried in front of her.

 _I love you_.

He let out a quiet sob, then clamped his hand over his mouth as his whole body shook. Nobody but Yung had ever said that to him before, except perhaps his mother, or maybe his sister, but he couldn't remember that. And she'd said that after he'd upset her, and her baby brother, and tried to push her away.

What had he done to deserve her?

He didn't know how long he spent crying in his room, but when he came out, she was waiting there, just as she'd said she would, with her arms wide open, and he walked into them, letting her hold him tightly. He hugged her back just as tightly.

"Wanna come down to the library?" she asked quietly. "I had one of the servants bring down some cookies."

Kai managed a soft laugh. "Yeah. Let's go. I can start figuring out how to make things up to your brother."

She smiled gently. "I have a few ideas."


	6. The Holidays Part II

CHAPTER SIX: The Holidays Part II

Kai nervously knocked on Rohan's door the next night, his heart falling when he saw the nervous look on the younger boy's face. "Hey, kiddo."

"Hello, Kai."

"Jinora and I wanted to take you somewhere. If you'd like to come along."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." Kai bent down to his level. "Look, Ro, I'm real sorry about yesterday. I was just in a bad mood, but I wasn't actually mad at you, okay?"

"I didn't do anything bad?"

"Of course not."

"You...you still like me?"

"Of course I do, Ro. I'm sorry I made you think I didn't."

Rohan gave him a small, slow smile. "Where are we going?"

###

Kai's arm was aching when they got to the top of the crow's nest, but it wasn't so bad as he set Rohan onto the ground, and he sat in Jinora's lap, looking up at the sky with wide eyes. There was a tin of cookies and another kettle of hot chocolate situated around a heap of blankets.

"They're so big from up here!" Rohan exclaimed as Kai sat down beside them. Kai placed the tin of cookies in Rohan's lap.

"We also made these for you," he said, "with the help of our ship's cook, anyway." He watched as Rohan opened them, his eyes lighting up as he pulled out a large, misshapen chocolate chip cookie, munching on it happily. "So, are they good enough for you to forgive me?"

Rohan nodded, letting out a soft giggle. "I would've anyway, Kai," he said, and Kai held back a sigh of relief.

"I know, I just wanted to make sure. I shouldn't have snapped at you."

Rohan leaned against Kai's upper arm. "It's okay. I know you didn't mean it."

"It's still not okay, Ro. And I'll try to never do it again. You're a great kid, and you didn't deserve that. You never deserve that."

"Kai?"

"Yeah, kiddo?"

"I'm just glad you're still my friend."

Kai glanced at Jinora, whose eyes were shining, before letting Rohan climb into his lap, pointing up at the sky.

"Look how bright Raava's tail is from here!" he exclaimed, his short, chubby finger pointing along a string of closely-clustered stars.

"You really do know your stars buddy," said Kai. "I'm impressed."

"Some books say there's secret constellations only pirates know," he continued, looking up at Kai. "Is that true?"

"There are constellations pirates created," he admitted. "But we don't use 'em for any good reasons, Ro. Don't worry. You know a lot, and you're way younger than me."

"I wanna know your constellations anyway," he said. "So when you're at school with Jinora, or with the other pirates, I know we're looking at the same constellations."

Kai smiled softly. "Okay, okay. Here's one, then. It's one of my favourites. See that cluster over there? With the really bright star on the end?" The stars were grouped very closely together, with one shining particularly brightly near the top of the cluster, at the midway point. Rohan nodded. "It's supposed to be a sword hilt, but the blade is missing. It represents pirate philosophy."

"Which is?" Jinora asked dryly.

Kai looked at her, his eyes lingering. "Never start a fight you can't win. Don't want something you can't have. And to make the most of what you have been given in life, but never forget to earn it, too." He looked away from her. "In winter, the blade shows up because the stars change position. The day of the blade is the closest thing we have to a national holiday."

Rohan looked up at it in awe. "How do you celebrate?"

"It's...a little bit like a second new year's day. Some people believe that making a gamble on the day of the blade is more likely to be successful. Others go to sea witches to get their fortunes told, because it's supposed to bring good things to your future. Personally, I just like sleeping in." He smiled when both Jinora and Rohan laughed. "But a lot of the crew here, they're more practical, and just use it as a day to...be braver, with their feelings. Good and bad. A lot of relationships are started on that day. But a lot of friendships can also be broken."

"We'll always be friends, won't we?" Rohan asked, stifling a yawn.

Kai ruffled his hair. "Of course, buddy."

Rohan gave him a sleepy smile. "Good." He curled up in Kai's lap and fell asleep, his eyelids drooping closed. Kai and Jinora exchanged a soft smile.

"Should we bring him back?" Kai asked.

"In a bit." She looked back up at the stars. "Is that true, about the day of the blade?"

"Yeah. It can be kind of a dangerous day, though. That's part of why I like to just...stay in. Belief in extra luck can be dangerous if enough people believe in it, surprisingly. Some pirates take it as an opportunity to do terrible things."

"That's not surprising, actually," she remarked. "You do know that most pirates aren't like you, right?"

"I know… just, it gives us all a bad rep, and not necessarily earned, y'know?"

"Ah, yes, earning things. A part of pirate philosophy, or just yours?"

"Both. The first two parts are true, though. About fights and wanting things. Greed and pride can be anyone's undoing."

"It can't always be intentional, though," said Jinora. "I mean, we can't always control what we want, now can we?"

He glanced at her. "No. I guess we can't."

Her cheeks grew warm, in spite of the cold. "And...you never know if you can't have it, if you don't try, right?"

"Trying isn't always enough," he said quietly, looking away. "I've tried and failed to be happy more times than I can count."

Jinora glanced away with a slight frown. "You deserve to be happy, you know."

"Thanks, but… A lot of people who deserved more than I did have gotten much less than I have. I guess the world just has to balance itself out, and someone has to pay the price. I don't mind if it's me, as long as no one else gets hurt."

She laid a hand on his arm. "If something happened to you, it would hurt a lot of people. Yung, your crew, my family. Me."

He managed a small smile. "Maybe that's why I was lucky enough to meet you. To save you. So that you could save me."

She smiled. "I'll be here to save you as often as you need it."

"Likewise."

"It's good to know I've already expanded your vocabulary."

Kai reached over and tapped her on the nose. "Doesn't matter how many big fancy words you teach me. You'll always be cute."

She flushed, shoving him in the shoulder. "Shut up."

"What? I mean it. You're adorable."

"Adorable is for a schoolgirl."

"But," he teased, arching an eyebrow, "you are a schoolgirl?"

"You know what I mean." She blushed furiously, crossing her arms over her chest. "It's for someone young, like—like Ikki, or something. I'm almost sixteen. I don't want to be cute. I want to…"

"To be beautiful?" he suggested, his voice going soft. Jinora nodded, grateful that the darkness hid her flush. "Because you are. You're stunning."

"You're not saying that just because I wanted you to?"

"I'm finally saying it because maybe I'm sleep deprived enough to think it's a good idea," he clarified. "You… are so beautiful, sometimes, when I look at you, I can't breathe."

She looked at him with wide eyes. "Really?"

"Really." He swallowed hard. "It's kind of happening right now, with the… with the stars in your eyes."

Jinora chewed on her bottom lip, and for a moment it looked like something far too womanly to be _cute_ , and far too tempting. "Oh."

Kai cleared his throat, forcing himself to look away. "We should get Rohan inside, it's...getting really cold." Even if he'd hardly ever felt warmer.

"O-oh. Right." She stood up, and he picked Rohan up into his arms, before climbing down the rope grid with one hand, the other curled around the sleeping kid to keep him secure. Jinora climbed down after him, slowly but more surely, landing more confidently on her feet when they reached the floor of the deck.

Kai nudged her in the side as they walked back towards the mansion, Rohan still in his arms. The kid was heavier this time, too, but nothing he couldn't manage. "Look at you, getting over your fear of heights. I'm proud of you, Jin."

She blushed again—gosh, would she ever stop?—and nudged him back. "I knew you'd catch me."

"Well I'm glad you trust me, anyway." He smiled at her, as they got inside the warm house and went up the staircase. The boy's rooms were at one end of the main hallway, the girl's on the other. "G'night, Gyatso," he said, with that same soft smile that was doing funny things to her insides.

"Goodnight, Kai." She wasn't sure how long they both stood there, till she finally turned away, her stomach fluttering as she walked into her room.

She closed her door behind her and dragged her cold hands down her face. She couldn't possibly, no… she couldn't like him. A small, innocent crush, maybe, but she couldn't honest to God _like_ him.

He was her friend. She was fond of him, and cared about him. That was all. He may be attractive, but that didn't mean she was attracted to him. Or if she was, it was only a teeny, tiny bit. Like how Ikki was crushing on him. That was harmless enough, wasn't it?

Wasn't it?

###

"Again."

Panting, Kai lifted his sword, and went to try and find a place to strike at Zaheer. Sparring with the captain himself was a rare occurrence for a good reason, with how taxing it was, but it was always a good, if difficult lesson, that usually went on for maybe half an hour.

This had been going on for three, as apparently Zaheer was determined to make up for lost time.

He couldn't even feel the winter chill, his skirt sticking to his skin with sweat, as more beads of sweat rolled down his forehead. He let out a huff when Zaheer blocked his strike again, trying to hold his ground as Zaheer pushed back. The captain used his weight to his advantage, putting more pressure on his sword, and shoving Kai backwards. The boy stumbled, and nearly slipped on ice, staggering when the captain's meaty fist collided with his jaw—although not as hard as it could have, he knew, from watching the man knock people out with a single punch.

Kai tasted blood in his mouth.

"Be better, boy! You think anyone else is going to go easy on you?"

Kai clenched his jaw, pushing himself onto his feet, and he grabbed his sword, swinging it down onto Zaheer's. He grabbed the captain's fist with his other hand when it came at him, gritting his teeth as he dug in his heels. His left foot hit a patch of ice, and Zaheer used the momentum to push him backwards. He slammed the butt end of his sword into Kai's side, and Kai hit the a craggy piece of ice hard in the ribs on his way down, his pants soaked through with snow as he grabbed his dagger, his sword skidding away, breathing hard when Zaheer struck him across the face again.

"Get up, boy."

Kai pushed himself up onto one knee, and then winced, wrapping an arm around his stomach. There was a strange ringing sound in his ears. "I'm trying," he croaked, his throat dry.

Zaheer raised his sword, and Kai wondered if he'd get grazed or slashed, depending on merciful the captain was feeling. "Try harder!" The sword came down.

"Zaheer, that's enough!" Yung's voice was enough to slow Zaheer slightly, enough to give Kai time to roll out of the way of his sword. Yung rushed over, helping Kai onto his feet. "You've worked him for hours. He needs to rest."

"Fine," Zaheer snapped. "Let him be weak. I'm going to go take care of more important pursuits." He stormed off towards the Waterbender, his sword still swinging with every step.

"Kid, are you okay?" Yung asked anxiously, and Kai grunted. "Oh, we should have Longshot take a look at you. He's up at the house because Meelo mentioned something about feeling under the weather."

"'M fine," Kai mumbled, but he let Yung pull his arm along the pudgy's man shoulders anyway.

"Captain was being far too hard on you," Yung said furiously, as they reached the gardens and started up the steps towards the mansion's backdoor porch. "He knows what I've told him about hitting you, and—"

"It's fine," Kai said. "I'm fine."

"No, it is not fine. He's been pushing you way too hard lately. You're a boy, not a weapon. I'm going to have a word with him later, but for now…" Yung looked at him worriedly as they entered the back door foyer. "Nothing feels like it's broken?"

"Yung, I'm _fine_. Just sore."

"You have a bruise forming on your jaw, you're not alright, young man, and—" He looked up, and found their medic looking at him with raised eyebrows. Tenzin, Pema, and Jinora were standing close behind—Meelo must have already been dealt with and sent back to his room for more bedrest. "Longshot, have a look at him, would you?"

Jinora clamped her hands over her mouth when she got a good look at him, and Tenzin's eyebrows shot up. "What on earth happened?"

"Captain was training him too hard," Yung said with a frown, and Kai rolled his eyes.

"Honestly, I'm fine—"

"You have a slight lump on the back of your head," Longshot said, his hand skimming a sore spot along Kai's scalp. "How hard did you hit the ice? Let me see your ribs, and your shoulder, for that matter. Nothing should have reopened but we don't want it to be agitated. And we'll get something for the bruise on your jaw."

"Do I have to?" he whined.

Yung tried to remain patient. "Kai, you need to take it easy. We'll talk to Zaheer—"

"No, he's on my case enough without you guys making it worse by babying me—"

"You are a child, and he should treat you like one—"

" _When have I ever been treated like a child?!_ "

Yung frowned, and then sighed. "Longshot, take him to his room."

Kai scowled. "Yung—"

"Go to your room, Kai. _Now_."

He let out a huff, but allowed Longshot to take him to his room, up the stairs while still babbling about medical nonsense. Yung rubbed at his temples.

"Zaheer's been like this all winter," he muttered. More impatient and agitated than usual, and it had only gotten worse since Kai had come back on winter break, and his short 'vacation time' of the actual vacation had been deemed over by the captain.

"Is...there anything we can do?" Tenzin asked uneasily.

"Not really, but thank you for offering, but… this is between us and Zaheer, and he's not used to taking anyone else's orders, but he'll have to get used to it soon enough," Yung said grumpily.

"But Kai's okay?" Jinora checked.

"He should be fine. Longshot's fixed up much worse."

It didn't exactly make her feel better to know that Kai had been worse, but she nodded anyway. "You think I can go up and see him in a bit? If Longshot's done?"

"Go ahead. Having you there might calm him down a little bit. I'm going to wait a little while before talking to him, anyway."

Jinora went upstairs, and when she was gone, Yung let out a long sigh, dragging a hand down his face.

"Are you sure you don't need anything?" Tenzin asked.

"A drink, maybe," Yung said flatly. "And Lefty. I'll… go get him from the ship."

"We can get one of the servants to do that," Pema said. "Why don't you and Lefty join us in the tea room? We'll have some wine ready for you both."

Yung gave them a small, appreciative smile. "Thanks." He let them guide him into their tea room, after dispatching a servant to go get the other pirate from down at the icy docks. Yung accepted the cup of tea that Pema poured for him with a grateful smile. "Thank you. I don't usually lose my cool with him—and he doesn't usually lose his temper like that, at least not at me, but… it's hard, sometimes."

"I think given the circumstances, you've done a wonderful job with him," said Pema. "But no parent can have all the answers to every problem."

"For example, Meelo has no idea what career he wants to go into, and refuses to talk about it," said Tenzin. "Except for joining the United Forces, which is admirable, but dangerous. And one day Ikki's gossiping is sure to get her in trouble, and Rohan's rather… different than other children his age, and I know he tries not to let it bother him, even if it does. Every child comes with their owns ups and downs to navigate."

Yung took a sip of his tea, and then set his cup down. "Well, what about Jinora?"

A crease formed in Tenzin's brow. "What do you mean?"

"What about her ups and downs? You didn't mention any."

"Oh. Well…"

"She...never really has any 'downs'," Pema said carefully. "No child is perfect, but… she comes pretty close. She's always been so mature, and well behaved. Something that's particularly important for a young lady of our… status. Especially considering Tenzin's political career."

"You've never had any trouble with her?"

"We really haven't. She's always been well-behaved, performs more than well in school, is friendly, well-liked, and has always been a good influence on her younger siblings. I suppose we just got lucky with her."

Before Yung could find anything else to say, Lefty walked into the room and placed a hand on his shoulder. "So, what happened this time?"

"More of Zaheer's training," Yung said, and Lefty let out a low hum. "He hit him twice across the face, and then when I'd said I'd talk to him about it, Kai said I was coddling him."

Lefty winced. "You think getting hit is what made him get defensive?"

"I'm sure it is. Zaheer's always getting on him about being 'weak', that, and…" Yung sighed. "You know how Kai can get sometimes."

"I know," Lefty said with a slight frown. "Do you think it's… he's been sleeping okay recently?"

"I'm not sure," Yung admitted. "I just—he's been through a lot of changes this year. I think—I hope it's just that."

"What else would it be?" Tenzin asked, stroking his beard. Pema too had learned forward in interest and concern.

Yung shared a glance with Lefty. "Kai was on his own for… a very long time, before I found him. The slums of Omashu are no place for a child. Sometimes he can become withdrawn… distant, angry. He stops sleeping, eating. It...happens more often in winter, I think. I don't know if it's because of the season, or because something happened during this time that he wants to forget, or…"

"If you think it's best, we could hire a therapist of some sort, or—"

"That's very generous of you, really," Yung said, "but he doesn't even talk to us, when he's like that. There's no way he'd talk to a stranger, a professional or not. It's usually quick, and he snaps out of it. I've never seen it last more than a week."

"Still," said Tenzin. "If he ever wants… more than that, there are plenty of trained mental health professionals within the city we'd be happy to reach out to. If that's something he wants."

Yung blinked rapidly. "Thank you, Governor. I didn't think that would ever be an option for him, even if he'll do nothing but refuse it." He managed a small smile. "But I'll let him know that it's an option, nonetheless."

"But what are we going to do about him now?" Lefty said. "I mean, I know he'll come downstairs in an hour and apologize, but…"

"We'll keep an eye on him," Yung said. "But carefully, so he doesn't start putting his walls up… I do think Jinora's been good for him, though. He's never had a friend his age before."

"We'll ask her how he's doing, when she comes back down," Tenzin said.

"Meanwhile…" Yung sighed. "Lefty, stick around would you? I'm going to go give Zaheer a piece of my mind."

"I'll help you swab the deck if it goes south," Lefty said, and Yung snorted, getting to his feet.

He clapped him on the shoulder. "Thank you, Akash."

Yung left without another word, heading out into the cold. Lefty scratched at his large belly, before looking out of the tea room when one of the steps of the staircase creaked. Kai was standing on it, with Jinora and Longshot behind him.

"Kai, are you—"

"I'm tired," he said, before Lefty could even finish. "Did Yung already go down to the ship?"

"'Fraid so, kiddo. Longshot, what's the situation?"

"Very minor bruising near the ribs, bruise on the back of the head but no concussion, his shoulder is fine," the medic reported. "All in all, it could have been a lot worse."

Lefty nodded briefly, placing a large hand on Kai's shoulder. "We're taking care of it right now—"

"I'm fine," he insisted, then glanced at Jinora, his features softening. "Just tired. I'm going to rest for a while."

"Fine," Lefty said. "We're just a short walk away, if you need us."

"I know." Kai rubbed the back of his neck. "I am sorry for losing my temper, though…"

"Yung knows, kid, but you should probably say that to him anyway."

Kai glanced at Pema and Tenzin, his eyes widening a little, but otherwise his expression didn't change. He looked at the floor. "I'm just gonna go… yeah." He headed back upstairs, waiting a few steps before his pace increased.

Jinora looked over her shoulder, but dutifully came down the stairs anyway. "Can I be excused from my lesson with the Governess today?" she asked her parents, mostly her father.

"Well...I suppose we can cancel just this once," he said carefully, and Jinora gave him a grateful smile, leaning up to peck him on the cheek.

"Thank you."

Tenzin's suspicions were confirmed when Jinora turned and walked very calmly, but walked back upstairs all the same. Pema took his arm, giving him a knowing smile.

"They'll be fine," she said. "And they'll come back down when they're ready."

"Should they really be alone—"

"They'll be fine."

"Trust me, I made sure Kai knows enough that he's not gonna touch a girl with a ten foot pole for a couple of years," Lefty said proudly.

Longshot grabbed his arm. "I'm taking you back down to the ship before you can say another word, Akash. We all know you scarred that boy for life."

"You're welcome," Lefty said to Tenzin, and Longshot dragged him away without another word.

Once they were gone, Pema couldn't help but give a very unladylike snort. "Well," she said, trying not to smile, "they certainly are characters."

"I know," Tenzin said. "I still can't believe how many pirates we've had in our house this year."

"Oh, you like them well enough in spite of that, no matter how much you try to hide it. And there's still plenty we haven't met."

"Don't remind me," he groaned, and Pema laughed softly, kissing her husband's bony cheek.

"And if they're all just as nice, then I'm sure we won't mind. Or at least, they're the pirates I would want to take in our daughter if any ever had to. She and Kai are certainly taken with each other."

"And you're still comfortable with them in each other's rooms, somehow."

"Oh, come now, he's a perfect gentleman, in all the ways that matter. Do you really doubt that he wouldn't treat her properly?"

"It's not that, necessarily," said Tenzin, turning more red by the minute. "But—you know what our crowd is like, and what they'd think. And beyond that, teenagers can grow up to be very different people, and they already come from very different worlds. What seems like a good idea when you're a teenager, especially when it comes to matters of the heart, can turn out to be a terrible mistake later on."

"Then we just have to trust that they're smart people, who will make good choices."

Tenzin didn't say anything else, but glanced up the stairs apprehensively anyway. "If you say so, dear," he said after a while.

"Good. Now, shall I go have one of the maids get some tea ready for us?"

"And another one to tell the Governess her wisdom is not required today? I think so." Tenzin gave her a small smile. "We could use an hour or two to relax, anyhow."

###

"You're sure your head's okay?"

"It only hurts when I press on it." Kai took her hand and guided it to the back of his head, where his bump was. "But it's already getting smaller, I think. Careful."

Her fingers skimmed the sore spot, before she drew her hand away. "I'm glad you're okay."

Kai cracked a smile at her. "You've already said that."

"Well, it bears repeating." She frowned. "I hate seeing you get hurt."

"You don't have to worry, Gyatso. I'm tougher than I look."

Her frown lessened. "Still. If you hit that any harder, you'd have a concussion."

He gave her a small grin. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you cared."

"Of course I care. I care about whether or not you'll become even more of a pain when you're confined to bed," she said, her mouth lifting.

"Definitely more of one," Kai said, his grin widening. "It's a good thing you like me so much."

She snorted, shoving him lightly in the shoulder, even if she was blushing. "As if. Ikki's the one with the crush on you." She clamped her mouth shut, but it was too late. Oh, Ikki would kill her if she knew she'd just said that.

"She does?"

"Don't you ever tell her I said that."

Kai blinked, his eyes thoughtful. "Huh."

Jinora studied him. "What is it?"

"Never thought she really noticed me."

"What, do you like her?"

"No. She's like, twelve?"

"Thirteen," Jinora corrected him, her lungs feeling a little less tight now.

Kai shrugged as though it didn't make any difference. "She's a cute kid but she's a kid, and your sister, so she's almost like… my sister? It's weird."

"Oh, okay." Jinora tried not to let a sigh of relief escape her lungs too loudly. "Wait, does that mean that I'm like your sister, or…?"

"What? No! I mean, uh…" The tips of Kai's ears turned red. "You're not my sister. You're my friend. That's... _different_."

Jinora looked at him carefully. "Alright. Good."

He coughed. "So, don't you—um, aren't you supposed to be having a lesson with the Governess today?" He impersonated the woman's finicky, stern voice. "'To teach you how to be a proper young lady'—and all that bullshit."

Jinora let out a giggle. "Not today. I had my father cancel."

"Why?"

Jinora laid down next to him. "I just didn't feel like having my lesson today."

"Hmm. Well if you ever want to use me as an excuse, go ahead." He started toying with the ends of her hair, and she shifted her head into his lap. He smiled softly, twirling the end of a strand around his finger, silently wondering how something could be so soft as he slowly ran his hands through her hair.

"You'd let me use you whatever way I wanted," she mumbled.

Kai snorted, even if his blush deepened. "Probably true." He paused when she sat up, and rested her head on his shoulder.

"So what about you? How are you feeling?"

"A lot better," he said, his voice soft. "I do feel bad for yelling at Yung though. He doesn't deserve that."

"I'm sure he understands. We can walk back to the ship together, whenever you're ready."

"Thanks, Jin." He took her hand and squeezed it. "I'm really glad you're here."

"Me too."

He rested his head on top of hers. "Who would've thought we'd be such good friends? A pirate and a high society girl, I mean."

"Me, obviously," she said, "because I know everything."

He laughed. "C'mon, be serious. I can't believe I have to be the serious one right now."

"You can blame your influence on me," she teased. "No matter how it happened, I'm just glad it did," she said, more sincerely. "You're my best friend."

"And you're mine. And don't worry, I won't mention anything to Ikki."

"Thanks, Kai."

He nudged her shoulder with his. "Of course. What are friends for?"

She smiled, curling into him. "For making sure you get rest. I'll even stay here with you, if you want."

"Your dad won't mind?"

"He'll be fine." They laid back against the pillows, and Kai wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"Thanks, Jin," he whispered, and flushed when Jinora pressed a quick kiss to his cheek.

"Sleep well, Kai."

###

When Kai woke up a few days later (the fight with Yung put behind him), he was in a warm bed, with no rocking of the waves beneath him, and a dense mass bouncing on top of him. He opened his eyes to see Rohan sitting on his stomach, patting his chest as he whispered, "It's Festival morning!"

"What?" he answered groggily, and then he heard a familiar laugh, and sat up to see Jinora in a white, flowing nightgown, holding a large box with both hands.

"Kai? Are you awake now?" Rohan asked, and Kai looked back at the boy now in his lap, and nodded with a sleepy smile, picking Rohan up as he slipped out of bed.

"What are you doing in my room, silly?" he asked, placing Rohan on his feet.

"We have a present for you!" Rohan said, and Kai looked back up at Jinora.

"For me?"

"It was Rohan's idea, and he worked very hard on it," she said, handing Kai the box. "I promise we'll let you go back to sleep after you've opened it."

"No, it's okay, I…" He looked back at Rohan. "You made something for me?"

"Jinora helped! Because I'm still trying to learn how to write, so she wrote the words for me, but I did a lot of the drawing!"

Kai glanced at the box with a small, curious smile, before carefully unwrapping it. "How long did you spend making it?" he asked, undoing the bow at the top before ripping the red-and-white wrappings over the box.

"I dunno," Rohan said, looking at Jinora expectantly. Jinora sat down on the end of Kai's bed, pulling Rohan into her lap.

"About a month," she said, "right Ro?"

"Yeah, it felt that long," he said, and both teenagers smiled.

Kai opened the top of the box, then pulled out a thick roll of paper. He looked at Jinora curiously, before unfurling it. It fell past his feet, curling up on the floor, stars and constellations drawn out with neatly-written names underneath, and dates written carefully under that.

"Whoa." Kai's eyes scanned the long scroll. "This is amazing!"

"You like it?" Rohan asked hopefully. Kai grinned, setting the scroll carefully on his bed before picking Rohan up and spinning him around gently.

"I love it! You made this?" Rohan nodded, as Kai set him back down. "This is amazing. Thank you so much."

"I even remembered all the constellations you showed me," said Rohan. "And we wrote down the days when you showed them to us, or told us about them."

Kai smiled appreciatively. "Would you mind if I also showed this to my crew's navigator? I think he'd be really impressed."

"Really?"

"Yeah. And I'll keep it with me always, even when I'm back on the ship."

Rohan's smile faltered. "You're not gonna leave, though, are you?"

He blinked in surprise, then managed a wide smile. "Nah, of course not. Not permanently anyway. It'd just be like...visiting my other family, you know? They were my first family, after all."

Rohan nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah. That's only fair."

"Exactly." Kai rolled up the chart, placing it back in the box, and setting it down carefully on his night stand. "Now come on, don't you want to show me what you got for the Spirit Festival?"

Rohan's smile returned, and he nodded, before rushing out of the room and down the stairs. Kai and Jinora exchanged glances for a moment.

"Your other family?" Jinora asked, and Kai flushed.

"It's the best term I could think of," he mumbled. "I mean, the crew is my family but they're also my crew. You guys aren't my crew, but you're more than… you know what I mean."

She smiled. "I know." She took his hand, swinging it lightly between them. "Don't you want to open up your other presents?"

"I have other presents?"

"Of course you do. From the crew, and from all of us. Or we could eat first, Festival breakfast is always amazing." She bit back a giggle when his stomach growled loudly. "Breakfast it is."

Kai tugged on her hand. "Wait, I want to give you your gift first."

"Oh." She blinked and then smiled. "Okay."

He pulled a little box out from one of his drawers, with a crumpled bow on top, and smiled bashfully. "I didn't have time to wrap it properly," he admitted, but Jinora took it eagerly anyway. "But I hope you like it."

Kai watched her face as she opened it, his heart swelling when he saw the way her eyes lit up. "Where did you get this?"

"I, uh, made it," Kai said, rubbing the back of his neck. "We had some spare bits lying around the ship—well, not spare, I had to get the pearl in town but—and then I just… put it together. Imaru helped me a little. He's great with stuff like this."

Jinora pulled the gift out of the box, and the pearl shone in the sun streaming in from behind the curtains, hanging from a carefully crafted chain of thin metal and rope woven together, the rope at any place that would touch her skin directly, to keep from chafing. The pearl hung in a little metal cage-like pendant, like a teardrop. "Kai, it's beautiful," she said softly.

"It's not as fancy as what you could get at a store—"

"It's better. Trust me." She smiled up at him, her cheeks a soft pink. "Help me put it on?"

He smiled, relaxing. "Sure." He carefully took the necklace from her hands, then stepped behind her, brushing her hair away from the back of her neck. Jinora gathered her hair in her hands along one side of her collarbone, as Kai looped the chain around her neck and redid the clasp. He helped her lift her hair back up so the chain could settle around her neck. "There." His fingertips lingered at her hair, before her fully let go. "You're keeping your hair down for the rest of the day?"

She glanced at him with a small smile, turning around to face him. "Yeah, why?"

"You know I like it when it's down."

She flushed. "I didn't, actually. You've never told me that before."

His voice softened, a wrinkle of confusion forming in his brow. "I haven't?" She shook her head.

"Are there any other things you've forgotten to tell me?" she asked, her eyes searching his face, for what she wasn't sure, as her heart began to speed up when he took a small step forwards.

"Maybe one or two," he said with a slight chuckle, a slight upturn of his lips. Her eyes followed its curve, her stomach doing flips as his fingers encircled her wrist.

"Like what?"

"I'm not that great with words," he murmured, his eyes falling to her mouth. Her throat went dry, but she didn't dare pull away as he leaned a little closer.

"What's taking you so long?" Rohan's voice rang from the hallway, and they both sprang apart, glancing away from one another.

"We should go get some of that breakfast," Jinora said, "and let Rohan show you all his presents."

"Yeah." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Your brother eats all the muffins."

She knew this time he was talking about Meelo, and nodded hastily. "Yes, right, exactly. Well… let's go, then."

"Yeah."

They passed through his doorway together, but were careful not to touch one another. Even if they were only a few inches apart at most, he'd never felt the distance more, especially when… Was she about to allow him to kiss her? He'd kissed a few girls before, just a quick peck here and there, but… They hadn't been Jinora; they hadn't been his best friend. And none of them had been so so far out of his league. He had a better chance of touching the stars than touching her.

Kai tried to push the thought out of his head as he was greeted at the bottom of the steps by Rohan, holding a teddy bear almost as big as him.

"You sure you can handle that thing?" Kai asked with a grin, ruffling Rohan's hair.

"Yep! Help me name him!"

"As soon as I get some breakfast, kiddo. Your brother leave any muffins for the rest of us?"

"Cook made extra! We saved the baccu berry ones for you."

Kai grinned. "Thanks, Ro. Come on, I'm sure your new friend wants some of that breakfast too."

They set the bear down on a chair next to Rohan, and Kai sat between him and Jinora, piling his plate with various breakfast foods, looking gratefully at Pema when she pushed a plate of bacon towards him.

Yung took a seat across from him and stole a piece of bacon. "Morning, kiddo."

Kai grinned at him. "Morning Yung."

"Unique Spirit Festival we're having this fine morning, huh?"

"It's nice not to have to do chores this year, anyway." Kai grabbed another piece of bacon; he'd taken for granted how much he'd missed meat, even if he'd had some of it at school. "Unless Captain has a surprise for me?"

"He does, actually," said Yung, but he was smiling. "But it's one I think you're actually going to like, courtesy of all the crew. You'll get to see it after breakfast."

"The Captain? Giving me a surprise I like? Is he feeling okay?"

"Who knows?" Yung chuckled. "But take a good thing when it comes to you, kid. And I promise, it's a good thing. I already double-checked."

"Of course you did." Kai pushed around the berries on his plate with a fork. "Well now I'm excited," he said dryly, not wanting to think too hard or get his hopes up. It didn't happen often, but sometimes the generational gap between him and most of his crew could really smack him in the face—like forgetting he shouldn't be taken to strip clubs or bars, for example.

"I did, really. No age-inappropriate surprises, honest."

"The last time you said that, I got piss dr—" Kai grew suddenly hyper-aware of Tenzin's presence and went quiet. "You know what happened," he said quietly, and Yung held back a laugh.

"Don't worry about it, kid. This is far more up your alley." Yung glanced over at Jinora, and grinned. "I see he already gave you your gift, kiddo."

Jinora smiled softly, laying a hand over the pendant. "Yes, it really is beautiful."

"He gave you something?" Pema piped up. "May I see?"

Jinora showed her mother the pendant, and Pema smiled in delight. "Oh, it's lovely!" She looked at Kai. "Where did you get this?"

He rubbed the back of his neck. "I, uh, made it. It took a few tries, though."

"Wanna tell them how long you spent making that?" Yung asked with a cheeky grin. Kai glared at him from across the table.

"A few hours."

"Kai—"

"Fine, like, five days. I kept messing up the braiding, and—"

"I think it's sweet," Jinora said with a soft smile, and he had to fight down a blush, shooting another glare at Yung.

"You should go into the jewelry business," Rohan chirped, as Ikki and Meelo came down to the table, yawning.

"That really would be a viable career for you," Pema said, "if you keep making things like this."

Kai smiled bashfully. "Guess that can be my backup plan. Which reminds me… Ikki, I have something for you too."

Ikki's face lit up. "You do?"

Kai got up, plucked a small box from under the Festival tree, and walked over to Ikki. "You've been a really good friend to me here. Like a sister, you know? So I wanted to get you something special, too."

Ikki's face fell a little, but she opened the box excitedly anyway. She pulled out a small bracelet made of rope and shells, a little simpler than Jinora's necklace, but beautiful nonetheless.

"It's amazing," she said with a broad grin. "I love it. Thank you."

"Want me to help you put it on?" Kai asked. She nodded, holding out her wrist, and Kai did the clasp, noting that the bracelet was a little too loose around her wrist. Hopefully she would grow into it.

"I got you something too," Ikki said.

Tenzin cleared his throat. "Perhaps we should finish eating our breakfast before it goes cold, until we exchange any more gifts?"

"Fine by me," Kai said cheerfully, though Ikki deflated a bit. He glanced at Jinora as he sat back down, and swore he saw her let out a sigh of relief. He nudged her lightly in the side. "Something on your mind, Jin?" he asked, quietly enough so only she could eat.

Jinora threw him a look. "Just eat your berries."

He bit back a grin, taking a large bite of his muffin and berries. When he nudged her knee with his under the table, she nudged back, and he barely held back his smile.

Even if he wasn't on the ship, this year's Spirits Festival wasn't turning out bad at all.

###

"It's nice to finally be alone," Jinora said, as they walked over to the ship.

"Are you confirming that I'm your favourite?" he grinned. Jinora shoved him lightly in the shoulder.

"No. You're just very popular with my siblings, and as your best friend, I like having your attention."

He turned around and started walking backwards, so he could face her properly. "Hmm. Well, you always have my attention."

She flushed, letting out a ringing laugh. "Shut up. And you'll have my attention when you fall on your butt."

"I happen to be the best backwards-walker—" He tripped and fell over onto his back, and Jinora laughed again, before extending a hand to help him up. Instead of getting back onto his feet, he tugged her down with him, the snow clinging to their clothes as they laid in the snow giggling.

"You're the worst!" she laughed, shoving him lightly in the chest as they both stood up again.

He grabbed handful of loose snow and threw it at her. She let out a shrieking laugh, gathering up snow and dumping it on his head.

"Hey!" He wrapped an arm around her waist, hauling her back towards the ground and pinning her, shaking the snow out of his hair and onto her face, as she tried half heartedly to push him away. "Would you look at that. Looks like you can be pretty unladylike after all, Gyatso."

"You started it," she said, wrinkling her nose at him as she tried to stifle another laugh. The snow seemed to glitter in her hair, lightly coating her long eyelashes, and illuminating the pearl pendant at her throat. She rested her mittened hands on his shoulders, brushing some of the snow off his coat; her hand lingered on the one that had been injured what felt like years ago.

Kai's breath got caught in his throat, his smile melting away. "Jin…"

"Yeah?"

He coughed and pulled away. "We should probably get to the ship, before we freeze to death out here."

"Yeah." She took his hand and let him help her up for real this time, her face feeling warm in spite of the cold. "Any idea of what the crew got you as a gift?"

Kai jerked his head towards the ship as they approached the docks. "Not a clue. But I guess I'll find out now, won't I?"

They walked up the ramp, even if Kai found his way to where the rest of the crew was gathered in a circle on the deck blocked by Lefty. "Not until Yung gets here too, kiddo."

"Did you shrink while you were gone?" a skinny, bored looking man called, although Jinora didn't know his name.

"Shut it Ryu!" Kai said, although he was clearly holding back a grin.

"Okay, I'm here," Yung announced, slightly out of breath. "Just give me a moment—and Ryu, stop teasing 'im. One day he'll probably be taller than you."

"If you think having younger brother is annoying," Kai muttered to Jinora, "you should try having older ones."

Yung poked him in the back, before moving to stand beside Lefty. "Alright, Lefty. He can see it. Just close your eyes, okay kid? No peeking."

Kai raised his eyebrows, but shut his eyes, as Yung and Lefty went to stand with the rest of the crew, and Yung took the loosely wrapped gift from Zaheer, and pushed it into Kai's hands.

"Alright, open 'em."

Kai opened his eyes, and though the gift was loosely wrapped, he immediately recognized its shape. "No…" He ripped the paper off, revealing a gleaming blade with a golden, intricately carved hilt. It was a sword, the most beautiful one he'd ever seen. A grin broke out across his face as he took the hilt in his hands, and it was perfectly weighted, the blade perfectly balanced, even better than the one he currently had strapped to his side (although he suspected they must have used that one as a baseline for this while he was gone). He looked up at all of them, beaming. "Where the hell did you get this?"

"Went to Tong Gong, and got it commissioned by a blacksmith," said Yung with a soft smile. "Figured it was time you really got your own, since you are the proper age for a pirate now."

"How much did it—"

"It's rude to ask how much a gift costs," Lefty grinned. "Just know that we were all more than happy to pitch in, the Captain included."

Kai looked back at the sword, his reflection in the blade smiling back at him. "It's…" His eyes burned, and he blinked a couple of times. "It's amazing. Thank you." He looked at Zaheer. "All of you. I'll take good care of it. I promise."

"I know you will boy," the captain said gruffly, but his eyes were smiling. "You'll have a few more days, since it's the holidays, but after new year's day, we're training with that new sword of yours early in the morning, are we clear?"

"Yes, Captain. I won't actually mind it this time."

"Very good. Now, get going with that girl of yours, and do whatever kids do these days. That's an order I'm sure you can follow?"

"She's not my—she's just—I mean, yes captain." Kai took his old sword out of its sheath, placing it on the ground next to him, before placing his new sword in his sheath, pleased when it fit perfectly. "Thank you." He tried and failed to hold back a broad grin, almost bouncing on the balls of his feet. "C'mon, Jin. Let's go." He took her hand and they rushed off the ramp, trying not to slip on the ice.

They went up all the way to the back porch, before Kai sat down on one of the cushioned benches and took his new sword out to admire it again. "Damn," he whistled appreciatively. "I've never seen anything this well crafted before."

Jinora smiled. "It really is beautiful." Her smile faltered, as she pulled a small package out of her pocket. "It makes my gift pretty useless, now, though, but hopefully it still works when you do need it?"

Kai glanced at her curiously, opening the box to find a sword-polishing set, with a letter tucked in the side. "Jin, it's great—"

"You won't need it for a long time, so if you want me to return it and you can exchange it for something else—"

"Hey, you've already given me the best gift ever." He slipped his sword back into his belt, and took Jinora's hand. "You."

She smiled, and then shook her head, almost laughing. "You are such a sap."

"What? It's true." He frowned a little. "Why would I make that up?"

"No, no, it's…" She squeezed his hand. "It's sweet. Sappy, but sweet. Sweeter than I'm used to, from anyone, to be honest—much less a boy."

"Boys can't be sweet?" he half teased, his frown lessening.

"They should be as sweet as you, but none of them can seem to manage it." She rested her head on his shoulder.

He gave her a small smile, before it faded. "I'm sorry about what Zaheer said," he mumbled. "About you being my…"

"That's fine, honest. Besides, anyone who ends up with you would be really lucky."

He laughed. "Good one."

Now it was her turn to frown at him. "Hey, I'm being serious."

He arched his eyebrows at her. "Who would ever wanna be with someone like me, Gyatso? Like, for real?"

She punched him in the shoulder. "More people than you think, you idiot."

"If you say so," he said, rubbing his arm. He smiled slightly when Jinora rested her head back on his shoulder.

"You've got a lot of qualities that lots of girls would love. Like, you're really nice, and sweet, and you're not embarrassed to be sincerely kind, like a lot of boys are. You can also make jewelry."

Kai snorted. "Because jewelry-making is at the top of every girl's list."

"As long as you don't make any other girl something as pretty as this," she said, holding up her pendant.

He rolled his eyes good naturedly. "Come on Jin. You know you're the only girl that matters."

Jinora flushed. "Shut up," she mumbled, scooting closer to him. "At least you're warm."

Kai wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Is it okay if we stay out here for a while, before we go back inside?"

"I was just about to ask the same thing."

"Hmm, so if you read my mind, you admit I have one?"

"One that you rarely use, but yes," she teased. Kai wrinkled his nose at her.

"You're dumb."

" _You're_ dumb."

"Kind of," Kai said, and Jinora leaned into him.

"Shush. You're not allowed to say that about yourself. Only I am, because I don't mean it."

He played with the ends of her hair. "Good."

Jinora closed her eyes, tucking herself more firmly into his side, and thought she wouldn't mind staying like this forever.

###

Kai almost wished his training had gone longer, both for the actual training itself—the sword had felt almost natural in his hand, and he'd even come closer to beating Zaheer—and because there wasn't much to do when Jinora was occupied with another lesson with her governess.

He had been instructed not to interrupt after he'd waved at her during his lesson, and it felt like he had been waiting for hours. He had played with Rohan before he was taken upstairs for his nap, and wasn't able to keep up with Meelo and Ikki for much longer than an hour, so he found himself waiting outside the tearoom, practicing his reading.

"Mind if I join you?"

Kai glanced up at Pema, who was holding her own book, and nodded. She took the seat across from him at that little coffee table, and opened up her book.

"What are you reading?" she asked.

"Oh, um…" He held up the cover, which read, A Short History of Piracy in the Gold Coast. "Comfort reading, I guess. Although a lot of it is kind of inaccurate, mostly with dates."

Pema smiled. "Maybe you could write a more accurate book, one day."

"Nah, I'm not much of a writer. But it'd be nice to help, at least with some of the little things… provided it doesn't give any away of our secrets."

"Hmm. Like what?"

"Oh, um…" Kai went back to the table of contents, and found the page on Tiantang. "It got the founding of the pirate city on the wrong date, and the wrong person. It was founded by a woman named Li Wong, not a man like the book says, although she often dressed like one to throw off her enemies. And she was one of the rare pirates to use pistols instead of swords, but they didn't mention that either. She was born in the Si Wong Desert, though."

"Well, I'm sure the academic world could do with your contributions. It's a shame when history is blurred over time, especially when it's so fascinating. Do you know anything else about Li Wong?"

"She actually became really successful. She retired relatively young, and went and spent the rest of her days on Ember Island with her wife and their children. Not many pirates get happy endings like that, and her vision for Tiantang got really construed, but…" He closed the book. "I think she deserved to be happy, in the end. To just...get to rest, with her family."

"That is a lovely way to spend the rest of your life," Pema said. "Settling down and raising a family is hard work on its own, but rewarding all the same. Hopefully you'll have a similar story."

"I've already gotten really lucky, with Yung and you and Mr. Gyatso taking me in. I don't think I'll ever be able to say how… grateful, I am, for that. And I like to think one day I'll get to be really happy like that too."

"Well," said Pema softly, "why wouldn't you get to be?"

"Most pirates don't live long, ma'am. Fewer get to live happily. And things don't tend to… go my way."

"Why?" she pressed gently. "Because—because of your parents?" Her eyes widened when she saw how the boy's face seemed to completely close up, his entire body stiffening.

"I don't see what they have to do with anything," he said quietly.

"I see." Pema kept her tone careful, a skill years of being a politician's wife, a middle class woman in an upper class world, had perfected. "I'm sorry. I only meant that just because you may not have had the happiest beginning, does not mean you can't have a happy ending."

"I just...try not to push my luck, when I get it."

"That doesn't mean you can't hope for something better. I'm sure Jinora would tell you the same thing."

Kai softened just at the mention of her daughter, his eyes turning fond as he unfolded upon himself. "Yeah. She does."

"Then maybe you could try believing us."

"I've never had much to hope for," he said, "but I'm trying." Kai pressed his palms against the rim of his seat, between his knees. He kept his eyes on the floor. "And… Mrs. Gyatso, I haven't had a—a mom in a long time. I mean, Yung's kind of like a mom, but also a dad, so—so if I say the wrong thing, then—then that's why."

She smiled gently. "You don't have to worry about saying the wrong thing to a mom. Just...be honest. We want to help you, if you'll accept it."

Kai raised his head a little, almost smiling. "I've never been very good at accepting help, even when I need it. Especially when I need it. Just ask Yung."

"It's never too late to start trying. It might take a long time, but it can't hurt to try."

Kai nodded. "Thanks, Mrs. Gyatso."

"Call me Pema."

"Okay… Pema."


	7. The Party

CHAPTER SEVEN: The Party

The evening before new year's eve had been full of stress, mostly for the servants and Tenzin and Pema as they rushed to get everything ready. Kai had seen sent into town with Jinora and Ikki and Meelo to get outfits fitted for the party the following evening, with Pema and Yung accompanying them. Though the fitting session had been a little uncomfortable, it was at least quick, with only a little bit of hemming and tucking needed. At least Yung had had to get fitted for something too, and had to get adjustments made for his pudgy belly.

"Sure you can keep up with us, old man?" Kai teased, as Meelo grumbled while his mother fixed his collar, and Rohan happily lifted up his arms so the seamstress could double check the measurements. Jinora was off with another seamstress collecting dresses to try on. At least the boys just had suits to wear.

Yung reached over and ruffled Kai's head, smiling. "Sure you can keep that mouth of yours screwed shut?"

"Have I ever?"

"Yung's right Kai," said Pema with a small smile. "Etiquette and manners are extremely important at social functions. That, and backhanded compliments."

"I'm sure he'll manage," said Jinora, now that she was back with an armful of dresses of various lengths and colours. Kai glanced at the pile in her arms with a slight smile.

"If we ever get to the party," he said, and Jinora shoved him with her shoulder.

"Shut up, it doesn't take that long, and Ikki picked out more than I did anyway. Young ladies have to see what all our best options are," she added, with a light scowl, and his grin faded.

"Well, you'll look great in all of them, and since I know that, I can take a nap. Now go on. Start trying 'em on."

Jinora rolled her eyes, unable to fight off a smile as she handed most of them to an employee, taking one back into the dressing room while the employee hung the dresses up on a rack. She came out a few minutes later, wearing something a few shades off from her favourite shade of yellow. It was cute, but a bit girlish, something that would have fit Ikki better, more likely, and went back inside to try on the next, and the next, and the next.

Kai did indeed, almost fall asleep, only looking up when Jinora tapped (or kicked him) in the shin every couple of minutes, and only looked up twice to give his approval to the two dresses Ikki was hemming and hawing over.

When Jinora stepped out of the dressing room in the second to last dress that had been hung on the rack, a form-fitting dark green gown that flowed out at the bottom, he felt like he'd been slapped awake. The green was the same colour as sea foam, with a clean neckline that showed off her collarbone but nothing else, and kept her shoulders bare, except for his necklace.

His state wasn't helped when she turned to the mirrors around her, and he saw that the dress left a good deal of her back bare, and she bit her lip as she looked at her. "I don't know, it seems a little…"

"It's perfect," he spoke up.

She turned back to him. "You think so?"

"Yeah, but… what do you think?" He sat up. "I mean, it'll be your dress."

"I like it," she admitted, "a lot. But I don't wear this colour often, or this sort of pattern, and…" She looked at her mother. "It's appropriate for the occasion?" she checked.

"More grown-up than I've seen you dress before," she admitted, "but in a good way. It's lovely."

"Okay." A grin broke out across Jinora's face. "I'll get this one, then."

He didn't stop looking at her, even as one of the seamstresses pinned a few things in place, before she went back to the dressing room, and he finally tore his eyes away, leaning back down to stare at the ceiling, the tips of his ears tinged with red.

Yung poked him in the stomach when Pema got up to go pay for everything, and brought Ikki and Rohan with her, while Meelo stayed behind to wrestle with undoing his tie.

"I see you what you did there, kiddo," Yung said quietly, grinning like he knew something Kai didn't.

Kai opened his eyes to look at him. "Did what?"

"You sly old dog. You _like_ her."

"What? No, I—"

"You like my sister?" said Meelo, rather loudly, and Kai leapt to his feet. "Gross." He clamped his hand over the kid's mouth.

"Would you shut up?" Kai yanked his hand away when very small and surprisingly sharp teeth sank it to it. "What the hell—did you just _bite_ me?"

Meelo straightened out the cuffs of his suit. "A man has to take necessary risks for survival… which includes telling you to not date my sister!"

"I don't want to date your sister!"

"Then why are you always making goo-goo eyes at her!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Meelo," said Jinora flatly, emerging out of the dressing room with the dress folded over one arm. It was both a relief and a disappointment to see her back in her usual attire, of a simple but pretty yellow top and matching red skirt. "Leave Kai alone. I don't know what you're arguing about, but it can't be anything important."

"He likes you!" Meelo said, and Kai glared at him.

"Of course he does, he's my best friend," Jinora said with a roll of her eyes. She took Kai's hand, tugging him onto his feet. "Come on, just ignore him. I think I saw an ice cream store at the end of the block."

Kai smiled in spite of the heat spreading across his face, and nodded.

"Ice cream? I want some!" Meelo yelled, before getting onto his feet to go ask his mother for permission. Kai and Jinora glanced at each other with a slight smile.

"Sorry about him," Jinora said, and Kai rubbed the back of his neck, letting go of her hand.

"It's alright. Kids, you know. So...ice cream?"

"Since we don't need permission," Jinora said, and they both walked out of the store together. Kai's heart was still pounding hard in his chest even when they walked out of the ice cream parlour with the same two scoops on their cones.

He didn't like her. Not like that, because he couldn't, because she was far out of his league, even as a friend.

He wouldn't like her, not like that. Except a little part of him suspected that he already did.

###

As soon as Kai entered the party, he could immediately see that he didn't belong. No amount of fancy suits or charity would be enough to scrub away his years on streets, the way his hand wanted to stray to where his sword should have been strapped to his side, or the way he felt utterly lost in this sea of people who had been born into a world of entitlement. He wordlessly took a glass of champagne as soon as it was offered to him, the bittersweet bubblies stinging his throat.

"It's a good thing you know how to drink," Jinora whispered, looping her arm through his and taking his glass from his hand, passing it along to her mother. "Look, I know it's a lot of people, but most of them like my father a great deal, and will have nothing but praise for you. And anyone who doesn't, well," she squeezed his arm, "let me handle them, okay?"

He nodded. "I just don't wanna say the wrong thing, and get your dad in trouble."

"You won't. I'll stay with you the entire night if it helps."

"Nah, I don't want to make you have to babysit me, especially when you have other people to talk to."

"It's not babysitting, it's spending new year's eve with my best friend. And some of the girls and Lee are here, so we can hang out with them too."

"I don't think Miki and Pfannee like me all that much." He cracked a tiny smile. "And ShenShen likes me too much."

It had the effect he had hoped for, as Jinora laughed lightly. "Shush, you wish. She hasn't flirted with you at all. A shame really. You're cute when you're flustered."

His face grew warm. "Am not," he mumbled, and Jinora let out another laugh.

"There you go, proving my point. And aren't you and Lee friends?"

"Kind of, though I haven't written him all break long." He'd considered it, especially after getting a few letters from Lee, but in the end, knew his writing still wasn't as good as he would've liked, and opted for letting Jinora say hello for him in her letters. Lee hadn't completely stopped writing letters, but made them shorter once it was clear that Kai wasn't going to write to him himself.

"And you know he doesn't mind. You have friends here, so don't worry."

"Yeah, two people."

"And you know my family's on your side."

"Except Meelo."

"Well, he's not on anyone's side," she said with a slight smile. "Unless it comes to talking about his plans for world domination. Now come on, we can't just stand here like stiffs."

They started to walk into the crowd, and Kai glanced at Jinora fondly. "I'm glad you're here with me," he said quietly.

"I'm glad you're here with me too."

###

Kai was just starting to think he'd survive the night after all, when things took a turn for the worst and he and Jinora were separated by the punch end of the refreshments table. They'd met some kids who didn't go to their school but weren't much older than them, and their parents, who were delighted by his 'heroic tale', and Kai was happy to let Jinora do the talking.

And then she'd gotten cornered by someone who wanted a dance, and he was cornered by more adults that wanted to ask him about how he was doing in school.

"It's alright," he said, trying to speak slowly and clearly. "It's taken a lot of hard work, trying to catch up, but the governor has been very generous, and it's been worth the extra effort."

"So you had no kind of education when you were with all those nasty pirates?" one woman said, her hand splayed over her husband's arm and her wrist decorated with elaborate golden bracelets. The Chows, Kai remembered vaguely. It was their son who was dancing with Jinora at the moment.

"They're...nice, actually. One of them even attended Ba Sing Se university and graduated with honours. So, technically I did learn a bit, from him—he's good with numbers, so I was actually mostly caught up with the rest of my class in math and geography when I first came here."

"What's a Ba Sing Se university scholar doing with a band of pirates?" Mr. Chow asked incredulously.

"Life has a funny way of going in unplanned directions," said Kai with a faint smile. "There's also a cook and a foot man who both left high society service, a couple of men from the Fire Nation and from the Water Tribes."

"So where are you from?" another woman asked, with much gentler eyes.

"Pardon?"

"Where were you born, dear?"

"Oh, um.." He resisted the urge to fidget. "Omashu, I guess. I'm not really sure. My parents died when I was a baby, you see."

"You poor dear," she said quietly, and Kai had to remember not to shuffle his feet, even as his discomfort increased under the woman's pity.

"I've been lucky, really," he added aimlessly. "To end up where I am."

"Yes," said Mr. Chow. "It's a very lucky, convenient thing that you were at the same bank as the Governor when it happened to be robbed."

Kai frowned slightly when he caught the implication, then gave the man a wide smile. "Yes, it was, I'm lucky too, that I was only shot in the shoulder. The doctors said any closer to my neck and I wouldn't have made it."

If the crowd was willing to feel pity for him, then he was going to use it to his advantage.

"You brave boy," the other woman said. "I heard you saved his daughter's life too."

"The robbers wanted her grandmother's necklace, even though it doesn't really hold any value other than sentimental. She was very brave to say no to them, and… she's been a very good friend to me these past few months as well."

"Very brave?" said Mrs. Chow. "Or very stupid?"

Kai arched an eyebrow. " _Excuse me_?"

"If all they wanted was the necklace, she could have just given it up, and not caused so much trouble," said Mrs. Chow matter-of-factly.

Kai's jaw tightened, but he kept his voice controlled. "Why, so they could sell her and her necklace side by side in the market? I've seen the slave trade far closer than you ever have, Mrs. Chow. Hell exists here on Earth. I wouldn't wish a chance of that upon anyone."

Mrs. Chow glanced away uncomfortably, pursing her lips. "Now now, I didn't mean all that…"

Kai glanced towards the dance floor, where he sought out Jinora, who was scowling as LingShi Chow talked, trying to keep him at an arm's length distance even as they danced through the song.

"Then mind your implications, Mrs. Chow," he said, his frown deepening. "Now, if you'll excuse me…"

"Excuse you—" Mr. Chow began, but Kai pushed past them, weaving through the other dancing couples till he found Jinora, who was pulling away from LingShi.

"May I cut in?" Kai said, as the last notes of the song ended.

Jinora turned to him, relief evident on her face. "Of course. LingShi is a perfect gentlemen, aren't you?"

The boy had the same glossy dark hair and pale green eyes as his mother, his lips twisted into a greasy smile. "Of course. It was an honour to dance with you tonight, Miss Gyatso. I hope you'll give me the honour again."

"Of course," Jinora said with a tight smile. LingShi let go of her, giving Kai a glance as he left, and Jinora's smile grew more sincere as Kai took her hands.

"You okay?" Kai asked, as he placed a hand at her waist, and Jinora nodded.

"I am now. I see you met the Chow family."

"More like tried to fend them off," he muttered. "How was their son?"

"A perfect gentleman, if that definition included being pushy and arrogant," she said quietly, but her eyes softened when she looked at Kai, who didn't seem quite sure what to do. "Do you even know how to waltz?"

"Um," the tips of his ears turned red, "no?"

Jinora smiled. "That's fine. Here, just watch how I'm moving my feet? Try mirroring that, and next time, you lead. It's like...making a box with your feet."

Kai clumsily followed, but he was better once he got into the rhythm, and only stepped on her feet twice. "Shit," he mumbled, but she only smiled. "Sorry."

"It's alright. You think you can try leading, this time?"

He threw her a look. "I'll do my best, Miss Gyatso."

Jinora bit back a giggle. "Hey, at least if you step on my feet again, I can get you back later."

"You're the meanest lady I've ever met," he said, unable to hide a smile.

"What, meaner than Mrs. Chow?"

"She's mean _and_ old. You're young. Although your mom's right. You do look really grown up in that dress, but in a good way."

She wrinkled her nose at him, holding back a rush of pride as his dancing improved and the song swelled. "I would hope so. You're the—one of the reasons I chose it."

The corner of Kai's mouth lifted. "Yeah?"

"I wasn't sure if I looked...proper, but…" She flushed. "Your opinion matters a lot to me."

"Yours does too," he said, daring to hold her a little closer. "To me, I mean. You look really nice."

"Thank you. And...you look very nice, as well."

He chuckled. "You just always have to one-up me, don't you Gyatso?"

"Maybe," she said, smiling slightly, her feet slowing as the last note ended. As the grandfather clock in the room chimed to show that it was an hour from midnight. She reluctantly pulled away, even if Kai looked adorably confused, knowing it'd be beyond rude (and as suggestive as high society could get) to dance with the same boy for three songs in a row. He was about to allow her to excuse herself, when she said, "Want to see something before the year's over?"

"What?"

Her smile grew. "Follow me."

He grinned. "Anywhere."

###

Kai had seen the gardens before, even at night, but it was different this time, with twinkling lights and glowing candles carefully decorating the pathways, light illuminating the water gushing from the fountains.

"The gardens only look like this during the new year's party," Jinora said, as they strolled down one of the cobblestone paths. "And there's this one flower that my mother got forever ago, and it only blooms the first hour of each year. We think it's magic, but no one else comes here to watch it bloom anymore. But before that blooms, I have something else to show you too."

"Maybe it's connected to your mother's faith in people," Kai suggested. "She sure does have a lot of it… and sea witch enchantments can be more connected to emotion than most people realize."

Months ago, Jinora had needed a little time to get used to the idea of sirens and witches, but now she merely asked, "What are they like? The witches?"

"Powerful, ruthless. But they can be extraordinarily kind. And they're always beautiful, somehow? I don't know if it's the magic, or a trick of the universe, but…" he shrugged.

"What's your idea of a beautiful woman, then?"

Kai tilted his head in thought. "It depends, I suppose. There are all kinds of beautiful women, kind of...kind of like flowers, I guess. Or birds."

"What do they have in common, then?"

"Well...I always liked dark hair on girls," he shrugged. "Women who smile a lot. But mostly real smiles, though I know sometimes they have to fake it for some situations, which is a shame. I think women are beautiful when they're expressive, you know? Like...when they're laughing, or even when they're displeased, like...like that face you make whenever someone tries to pass chard to you at dinner," he said with a slight chuckle. "That's why witches are so beautiful, I guess. They're full of life, and never try to make themselves smaller than they are. And when they do something nice, they mean it, out of genuine kindness."

"That's mostly about people's personality," Jinora observed.

"I guess. I mean, I still prefer dark hair, and brown eyes, but it's really how people act that makes you remember what they look like."

Jinora looked at him thoughtfully. "I've never heard that from a boy."

"I think most of us think that," he said, shrugging again. "I hear that kind of thing from most of the crew, anyway. We all have different preferences, but...beauty can look different on different people, I guess." He nudged her in the shoulder. "What about you? What's your idea of a handsome man? Obviously not LingShi Chow."

Jinora snorted. "He's not awful-looking, he's just an awful person. Besides, he's too stiff. Too arrogant, and entitled. And his smile is so...it makes me uneasy. I want someone… kind, genuine. Silly. Someone I can be myself around."

"Looks like you're describing personality over looks too, Gyatso," Kai teased.

"Shut up." She shoved him lightly in the shoulder, blushing when he didn't budge and grabbed her forearm to keep her from pulling away. She shivered when he let go.

"You cold?"

She was in a sleeveless dress out in the middle of winter. Her blush deepened. "Maybe a little?"

Kai took off his fancy dinner jacket and draped it over his shoulders, just in a white button up and dark slacks that shouldn't have looked so good on him. "What did you bring me out here for, again?"

"Oh." She tugged on the side of his jacket, pulling it a little further over her shoulders. It had retained his warmth, and some of his faint cologne, too. "We're almost there."

They entered a widened part of the gardens that had devolved into hedges, with stone benches around a fountain that somehow hadn't frozen over, the water burbling lightly with a ring of hung lanterns in a circle, on poles in between the benches. The candles made the water shimmer in the moonlight too, but her face fell when she saw a few had been blown out.

"Too bad," she murmured, crestfallen. "It's only really beautiful when they're all lit."

Kai looked at her for a moment, and then dug around his pant pocket. "Don't tell your dad I have this," he said, pulling out a lighter. He opened the cap and the flame burst at the tip, before he began lighting each of the few candles that had been blown out.

"Oh Kai, it's lovely!" The light made her eyes shine as she beamed, first at the fountain, now fully aglow, and then at him. "Thank you."

"Well, you were right," he said with a shrug, and a soft smile, glancing at the fountain and then back to her. "It is pretty beautiful."

Jinora's cheeks grew warm, and she glanced away briefly, looking in the direction of distant voices from inside. "...I think they're counting down?"

Kai glanced back at the snowy grey mansion, with the windows all lit up. "Yeah. Eight?"

"Seven, six, five, four…"

Weren't you supposed to kiss someone at midnight, Jinora thought idly. And Kai was the only one out here. A cheek kiss would have to do.

She turned towards him as everyone inside continued the countdown, his cheek square in her line of vision, and she puckered her lips, leaning in. At the last minute, he turned his head, her lips brushing his, a graze of warmth that made her eyes widen, and she quickly pulled away, her face warm. " _Sorry_ , I—"

"It's fine," he mumbled, his cheeks aflame as he rubbed the back of his neck. "I had the same idea, I guess we…"

"Yeah." She resisted the urge to reach up and touch her mouth, still set ablaze by his, and instead forced a tiny smile as she shook her head and stepped away to put some distance in between them. "Stupid tradition, really."

"Yeah," he agreed. "Stupid."

They stood there for what felt like a good five minutes (but what may have been longer), not saying anything out of fear of making the situation worse, until Kai cleared his throat. "We should probably, um, head back inside? Maybe? We can hide out near the fruit punch and let Ikki do all the talking."

Jinora nodded eagerly, still not making eye contact with him. "Sounds good. Good plan, I mean—"

"Jinora, what on earth are you doing out here?"

They looked up to see her father striding towards them, frowning with the tailcoats of his suit flapping in the faint January breeze. If possible, the situation had just gotten a thousand times more awkward, and Kai wanted more than ever to sink into the floor.

"Dad—"

"Jinora, you should know better than to sneak out during a party like this! And Kai—"

"I'm sorry, Dad, I just wanted to show him our family flower and the fountain. It's just Kai. You don't have to get so worked up about it!"

"I know, I just...don't want people to get the wrong impression, especially with Kai being… new, to our crowd. I appreciate you wanting to show him the flower and the fountain, but—" Tenzin glanced behind them to the fountain. "I could have swore some of the lanterns weren't lit when your mother and I came here before the party?"

Kai smoothed his face over. "Looks like the servants must have taken care of it, sir," he said, completely calm.

"I suppose so." Tenzin looked back at them. "You have ten more minutes out here, alright?"

"Yes, sir," Kai said.

"Thanks, Dad."

"Then I expect you straight inside afterwards." He looked at Jinora evenly. "You know how important a woman's reputation is."

Jinora frowned slightly. "Yes, Father."

"Good." Tenzin drew up his coat. "I'll see you inside."

When Tenzin left, Kai and Jinora both glanced at each other. Kai smiled at her sympathetically.

"Wanna show me around the rest of the garden before we have to go back?"

Jinora managed a small smile. "Alright. Come on, the family flower should have bloomed by now."

###

"Yung?"

It was close to two AM when the pirate's door creaked open, and Yung sighed, in the process of pulling his covers up over his pudgy belly, one hand reaching over to turn off the light. But he perked up when he saw his boy in the doorway. "Yes, kiddo?" he said, as gently and as alert as he could manage. After weeks of being away from the crew and used to going to bed early (and sleeping in for one of the first times in his life) staying up this late had become a rare occurrence.

Kai was fidgeting with his fingers, looking spooked and standing all jittery in his doorway. That couldn't be good. "Can I talk to you?"

Yung yawned, then sat up. "Alright. Come here, kiddo." He rubbed at his eyes as Kai sat down next to him. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes. No. Maybe? I—" Kai sighed heavily, and then said, in one very fast rush, "I kind of kissed Jinora."

Yung stopped rubbing at his eyes, staring at Kai, now wide awake. " _What_? When? Why? Where—Tell me everything."

"We were by the fountain, outside, and just talking, and it was almost midnight, and everyone was counting down, so I guess, you know—tradition—and she was just gonna kiss me on the cheek but I turned my head and we just sort of—" Kai sounded miserable now. "Kissed, for a moment, and then she pulled away, and she—she looked so _mortified_ and embarrassed. I mean, it couldn't have been a bad kiss right? It barely lasted for more than a second."

"Aw, Kai, I'm sure it wasn't that—"

"And I thought to kiss her on the cheek too because, well, friends can do that, right? But I turned at the wrong time and God she must think I'm such a creep—"

"She does not think that about you. You two spent the rest of the night together, with her friends. You'll be fine. I'm sure she was just surprised. I mean, you were probably mortified and embarrassed too, right?"

"Well, yeah," Kai mumbled.

"And you only felt that way because you like her, right?"

Kai sighed, and said, "Yeah."

"So you admit you like her?"

"Shut up."

Yung chuckled. "Just making sure you knew what you were admitting to. I'm sure she wasn't embarrassed because she didn't want it, and even if she didn't want it, it was like you said, an accident. She didn't expect it, and neither did you. And she's very fond of you, and is probably just worried about the same things that you're worried about. My point is, kid," he poked Kai in the stomach, "don't trip yourself over this."

Kai's lips flattened into a straight line, before he managed a tiny smile. "If you're sure."

"I'm sure."

"Thanks, Yung. I just...even if she never thinks of me that way, I don't want to screw up our friendship, you know? She's the best friend I've ever had."

Yung clapped him on the shoulder, giving it a squeeze. "You'll be fine, Kai. You both will be. You have long happy lives ahead of you, and well… we'll just have to wait and see how you share 'em together."

Kai blushed, looking unconvinced, but he nodded. "Thanks, Yung. I'll let you get some sleep now."

Yung smiled fondly as his kid shuffled over to the door. "Good night, kid. Love you."

Kai paused in opening the door, and Yung expected a silent nod, like always, when Kai instead said, very quietly and quickly, "Love you too," and shut the door behind him.

Yung smiled to himself, laying back down on the pillows with a lightness in his chest. The new year was looking wonderful already.

###

The library, Kai had learned, was typically a quiet spot in the house. Yung and Otaku occasionally drifted in, since the Waterbender was still moored at the Governor's docks until the ice broke a little more, and winter break ended unto itself, and Ikki and Meelo didn't dare step into the room for fear of being boring. Rohan was chipper but would fall asleep easily, Tenzin was always quiet and Pema always kind, and Jinora had taken to curling up to the armchair next to him with her favourite book without saying a word, and that, Kai had found, was his favourite.

This time, however, he was alone, since she was off in town with her mother and Ikki to have tea with some other high society women, no matter how much Jinora had tried to get out of it.

"I heard about your incident with Miss Gyatso," a cold, female voice said by the door, and he looked up in vague recognition. "At the New Year's Eve Ball."

Governess Manirak was a stern looking woman, with clipped black hair and pale brown skin, a thick collar buttoned up to her throat that always seemed to be choking her, although she never loosened it.

For a second Kai thought she was talking about the kiss, but also knew there was no way anyone else had witnessed it. And there was no way in hell Jinora had told the Governess about it, of all people, in the three days that had passed since it had happened.

"Incident?" he repeated carefully. He remembered seeing the Governess at the party, but he and Jinora had avoided her like the plague.

"A young lady sneaking out of a party unescorted with a ruffian like yourself is strictly off-limits," she said.

"Good thing we were both perfectly well-behaved, not that we have to tell you," Kai said. "She was just showing me the gardens. Being a good hostess, technically, not that you ever do anything but criticize her when she doesn't do things your way."

"I am preparing her for a life in high society," said the Governess, her nostrils flaring. "A life you will not be a part of, boy, nor will I let you mislead her like that again. You deserve to be nothing but the scum on the base of her heel, something nasty that must be scraped off. You will do nothing but bog her down with your insidious background. That, and you make her act like a foolish, lovestruck teenager, sneaking out to the gardens indeed, you insolent boy. Jinora will be marrying the next Governor of Republic City, and she has a great service to fulfill to her family, something you, who has no family, would never understand."

"I do have a family, not that you would know anything about that." Kai got out of his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. "And why would Jinora marry the next Governor when she could be governor herself?"

"That is not how things are done—"

"Why not? She'd do a good job. Better than any man I know. She's smart, she's ambitious, she's charismatic, but it's narrow-minded people like you that are holding her back."

"You—you understand nothing of our world, you—"

"If your world is one where a woman can't be Governor, then it's a shitty one."

"Watch your language," she snapped. "Things may be different from where you're from, the gutter and the wombs of dirty filthy whores, but here, women are elegant, graceful, docile wives."

"You're certainly not. Is that why you're an old maid?"

"And you'll be lucky to make it past twenty before dying as what you've always been: nothing."

"Excuse me," came Tenzin's voice, firm and clear, as he walked through the library doorway. "Ms. Manirak, would you excuse me and Kai for one moment?"

The governess gave Kai a snide smile, before saying, "Yes, Governor," and heading to the door.

Kai's jaw loosened a little, but he didn't look down at the floor as Tenzin approached him. One thing Zaheer (and the streets) had instilled on him very early on was that if you flinched, you had already lost the fight. "How long were you out there, sir?"

"Long enough." Tenzin sighed, and Kai prepared himself for a scolding, when Tenzin said, "I hope you know Ms. Manirak had no right to speak to you that way."

Kai blinked. "She—she didn't?"

"I'll admit, you were...less than polite, but what she said was mean-spirited and cruel. Has she always spoken to you this way?"

"She's hardly spoken to me at all," Kai said. "But… she's also made it very clear she doesn't exactly approve of my presence in your house, sir. Or in Jinora's life."

"She was out of line, and grossly abused her position of authority. I assure you, she won't speak to you that way again."

Kai managed a cheerless smile. "Thank you, sir, but I'm honestly more concerned about what she says to Jinora."

"Oh?"

Maybe it wasn't right to tell your best friend's father what had been confided, basically, in private, but… Kai swallowed. "She's always criticizing her, and stuff." His smile faded into a frown.

"And stuff?" Tenzin repeated.

"Yeah. Stuff like… reminding her of the responsibilities she has, and that she shouldn't be too outspoken, and that she never dresses right, and… that she'll have to get used to always agreeing with her husband."

"That...is the norm for much of our crowd, unfortunately."

"Well it's not right," Kai burst. "Jinora should be allowed to do whatever she wants, study whatever she wants. Politics, whatever. She's smart enough for it. She's the firstborn. Why shouldn't she be Governor if she wants to be? Why should she have to go along with whatever her husband wants? That's not a life. That's acting like a doll." He took a deep breath. "And she's so much better than that. She's... one of the best people I've ever known."

Tenzin's beard twitched. "You think she'd be interested in politics?"

"I dunno. Maybe. She likes history, and history and politics go hand in hand, don't they? She's a good problem-solver, and good with people. Maybe you should ask her. Sir," he tacked on.

"There would be a lot of gossip and public criticism, if she did take such a position."

"Then they're idiots. And she would make it easier for the next woman who decided to run, and the next. I mean, someone has to be the first, right? Why not her, if that's what she wants?"

"Has she...expressed any interest at all?"

"She doesn't express much interest in anything she's been told not to, sir," said Kai. "Except… she does miss fencing, I know. And she talks about what great a history program Ba Sing Se University has, sometimes."

"She wants to go to university?"

"Like I said, sir. Maybe you should ask her."

Tenzin nodded slowly. "Thank you, Kai."

Kai blinked again. "Oh, um, you're welcome, sir."

"I'll leave you to your reading, but thank you for telling me this. I suppose I have to go deal with Ms. Manirak now."

"Um, good luck, sir," Kai said, his eyes widening when he saw a flicker of a smile on Tenzin's face.

"Thank you, but I doubt there'll be much need." Tenzin left, his robes swirling behind him as he turned towards the door, closing it shut. Kai stared at the door for a few moments, still processing what had just happened.

Either way, Jinora was probably going to find out what he'd said sooner or later, and she would not be happy.

###

"Jinora?"

She was in the tea room with a book when Kai found her, once she was back from her outing, and as she looked up at him with a questioning look, he swallowed hard. "Yes, Kai?"

"I...well…"

As he told her everything that had transpired in the library, with loose details about his argument with Manirak, and more in depth about his conversation with Tenzin, Jinora's expression grew increasingly upset, her mouth curdling into a deep frown.

"I told you not to tell him any of that!"

"I'm sorry, it—it seemed important, you know he wants you to be happy—"

"I _trusted_ you! I trusted you not to tell anyone because I haven't told anyone but you, and you—"

"I didn't mean to—it just all came spilling out and—and you know how horribly that woman treats you, it was time someone told him—"

"That someone should not have been you! I can't believe you! My father has enough to deal with without this, and I told you those things in confidence! Not for you to go blabbing about them to my father!" Jinora slammed her book shut, storming past him towards the door.

"Jinora, I'm sorry, I'll try to—"

"Just stop, you've done enough! Just—just go _away_!"

Kai sighed, watching her go miserably. Great, one day he was kissing her without permission, and the next, he was spilling all of her secrets to the last person he should have been telling them to.

He stepped out of the tea room and grabbed his coat, pulling it snug around his shoulders. Maybe he'd give her a day or two, and then try to apologize again. And if that didn't work…

He'd just have to wait and see.

###

There was a knock at her bedroom door, and Jinora said, " _Go away_ , Kai!"

The door opened and she readied herself to throw the nearest pillow on her bed, when she saw that it was her father. "You didn't tell me to go away," he said lightly, and Jinora set the pillow back on her bed, flopping back down on her covers.

"Sorry. I thought—"

"I know who you thought I was. May I come in?"

Jinora nodded, scooting over to sit on the edge of her bed as Tenzin sat down on her considerably smaller desk chair. "Well?" she said sullenly.

"I see Kai told you that we spoke already."

Jinora glanced down at her feet. "I'm sorry, I didn't want—"

"Why didn't you tell me that you were unhappy?"

Jinora looked up at him. "What?"

"I...I know I put stock in our reputations, and how people perceive us. It's something I've always had to do, as governor and as the son of a governor. But I also chose to be a politician, and to be in this sort of spotlight. You did not, and I am sorry if it has hurt you."

Jinora blinked. "Dad?"

"I wasn't aware that you missed fencing so much. Or that you wanted to attend university, instead of spending your post-secondary education at a finishing school. And…" Tenzin sighed. "I'm sorry I never even thought to ask, but...are you at all interested in politics?"

Jinora blinked. "I mean, I like the theory behind it, and its connection to history, but...I never took a class or anything beyond what was required, I...everyone always said it was unladylike."

"Would...would you like to learn?"

She thought for a moment, then nodded slowly. "That...would be nice, to learn more about what you do, and how it connects to history, but...why are you asking me this?"

Tenzin took another deep breath. "Well, it was brought to my attention that there has been an...expectation, put on you, to marry a man who will become the next governor. I never thought to ask you if you wanted that position for yourself."

Jinora's jaw dropped. "I—I… I never even thought that was an option."

"There's no law against it," Tenzin said, "but the expectations of others have… kept the position from being handed down to a woman. Of course, this only matters if you are interested in it. If it's not what you want, then it doesn't have to be an option."

"I...I never thought about it, honestly," Jinora said, flabbergasted.

"Really?" said Tenzin. "Because Kai has."

Her brow furrowed. "Kai?"

"He thinks you'd be quite good at the job. And...well, I never thought about it before today, either, but I agree. However, as I said before, none of that matters if you don't want it. And if you want to explore it, take a few advanced courses in politics, perhaps go to university at your school of choice… you can do that too. And if you decide that you don't want to be governor after all, that's also fine. What I'm trying to say is… what matters first and foremost is your happiness, in how you live your life, and how you dress, and behave, and in who—or if—you marry, and… I am sorry if I have not made that clear to you beforehand."

Jinora stared at Tenzin for a long time, and he wasn't sure if she was going to speak, when tears welled in her eyes. "Sorry," she said quickly, wiping at her eyes, "I just...I've always been so scared, of making you and Mom look bad, and I'm always supposed to be the good eldest child, and never even thought—" Jinora sniffled quietly. "You'd really let me go to university?"

"Whatever university you'd like, for whatever degree you want," said Tenzin, as he stood up and opened up his arms. A few more tears fell down Jinora's cheeks as she crawled into them.

"Thank you."

"And...if you'd like, you can continue fencing, this spring term."

Jinora hugged him tighter, her tears soaking his cloak. " _Thank you so much._ " She pulled away slightly, asking, "But what about Governess Manirak?"

Tenzin gave her a small smile. "Your mother and I agree that you're getting too old for governesses now, and it's really unfair of us to keep that poor old woman from retiring. We'll get a new one for Ikki over the summer, but I think it's time you graduated, don't you?"

Jinora smiled wide through her tears, nodding gratefully. "Yes, I…" her smile faded. "Daddy," she said far more solemnly, thinking back to the sparse details Kai had given her ("She came over and started saying shit, so then I said—"), and asked, "what did she say to Kai?"

Tenzin's expression faltered. "A few nasty things, I'm afraid. I believe…" As much as he didn't want to tell her, given the fact she was already crying (even if it was from happiness, it was happiness that he had been unintentionally keeping her from) something in her eyes compelled him to open his mouth again. "She said something about him being the scum on the bottom of your shoe."

Jinora's bottom lip trembled. "That awful…" She shut her eyes tightly. "I got so mad at him, when he told me what he told you."

"I know it was perhaps not his place to do so," said Tenzin, "but I am glad he did, and gladder still that you had someone to confide in in the first place."

"I was scared that I'd disappoint you, if you knew that I thought all those things, I just…"

Tenzin placed a hand on her shoulder. "You could never disappoint me, Jinora. On the contrary, you have already made me so very proud."

She wiped at her eyes, and managed the tiniest of smiles. "I love you daddy. You and mother."

"We love you too. No matter what."

Jinora sniffled softly, then said, "Dad? I should go find Kai. I need...to thank him. Do I need…?"

"I'll watch you on the way to the ship, but you don't need an escort to see a friend."

Jinora hugged Tenzin one more time. "Thanks again, Daddy." She let go, grabbing her coat before she left, with Tenzin trailing behind her.

###

It almost felt good to be doing chores again, even if there wasn't much for Kai to do this late in the evening, other than help other people with their own chores. He was carrying a box over to the door that led below decks when he heard his name as a distant call.

He sighed, hauling the box over. It was almost pathetic how much he missed Jinora, even hearing her call him from time to time, but he knew he'd have to give her some space before—

"Kai!"

He paused, then set the box down, looking up to see Jinora in a coat and a nightgown, her breath visible in the cold air and her hair flying behind her in the wind. He turned towards her, meeting her at the top of the ramp, coming up with an apology in his mind, when she threw her arms around him, burying her face in his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," she said softly, and Kai hugged her back.

"You're freezing," he said, as he slowly pulled away. "Come into the mess hall, I think there's some hot chocolate still on the stove."

Jinora followed him inside, her hand warm in his, even if she was shivering. "Kai, I'm—"

"I know," he said, turning back with a soft smile. "It's okay."

"It's not, I shouldn't have yelled, you were just trying to help—"

"I told your father things that you told me in confidence. Sure, I wanted to help, but I still shared things that weren't mine to share. You had every right to be mad at me."

"Well, I'm not mad at you anymore."

Kai's smile grew. "I figured, when you ran up and hugged me."

Jinora let out a soft laugh. "I...my dad talked to me, earlier."

"Oh?"

"He told me that...that I could do whatever made me happy. Study whatever I want. He wants to have me take a few political classes, to see if I'm interested in taking governorship after he steps down, and…" Jinora's smile brightened. "I never even thought about if I wanted it before."

"...Do you want it?"

"I want to learn if I do. And if it turns out I don't want it after all, well, I'll still have learned a lot, and I'll still be able to study history no matter what." Jinora's eyes shone as she took his hands, squeezing them both. "And my dad and I wouldn't have had that talk if you hadn't been so ridiculously concerned and talked to him, so...thank you."

"I'm just glad it worked out," he said, beaming at her.

"And…" the light in her eyes dimmed slightly. "I'm sorry, about what Ms. Manirak said to you. You didn't deserve it."

Kai gave her a tiny smile. "She wasn't that far off."

"Yes she was. You're the best person I've ever known, and from day one you've done so much for me and my family, and..." She took a small step closer. "I just… I don't even have the words for it."

His eyes softened, his warm hands enveloping hers. "That might be because you're freezing." He lifted her hands, cupping them in his, and brought them to his mouth to blow warm air on them. Jinora's cheeks grew pink.

"You said something about hot chocolate?"

Kai breathed another puff of warm air into her hands, before letting go of one. "C'mon, I think Daw will let us into the kitchen this late."

###

The hot chocolate was still steaming when they set it down on the table in the mess hall, the chocolate perfectly warm on Jinora's tongue, not burning her throat on the way down.

"You make the best hot chocolate," she told him, setting down her mug but keeping her hands clasped around it for warmth. The dining hall was a little drafty, and her feet were growing a little cold, but overall she was alright.

"I learned from the best." He smiled at her, lopsided and crooked, and her heart melted the same way her marshmallows did in the steaming brown liquid. "But I'm glad you like it, Gyatso."

"You really should take advantage of the kitchen in your residence hall, when we go back to school," Jinora said. "Even though boys and girls can't be in each other's rooms after hours, there's nothing in the rules about staying in the kitchens as long as we want."

"You're a better rule breaker than you give yourself credit for," he said admiringly, "little miss loophole."

"And there's no reason for them to change that since we'll just be drinking your hot chocolate all night," she said cheerfully, taking another sip. "Which reminds me, once fencing lessons start in the spring, you'll already have a partner."

"You mean…?" When Jinora nodded, he grinned. "So your dad said it's okay?"

"He didn't realize I missed fencing so much," she said, "until you told him." She nudged him gently. "I'm almost grateful that you spilled my secrets. Although you better not ever do it again."

"I won't," he promised. "Even if I'm happy to have a fencing partner."

"Well, that is something I wanted to talk to you about. And it can be a way for you to make up for your loose tongue. I haven't fenced in a long time, and I'm quite rusty, but I figure you can help get me back up to speed, if not better, you know..." She bit her lip, hesitating. "If you taught me."

Kai studied her for a moment. "Sword-fighting is very different from fencing, I can imagine. It's to kill, for one thing. Not to just win points in a match."

"But you spar with the crew as practice. It can't be that different."

"Still, it...when we start classes, I'm probably going to have a lot to learn myself."

Jinora pursed her lips, then looked at him firmly. "Teach me anyway."

Kai blinked. "You're sure?"

"Yes."

He ran a hand through his hair, but nodded. "Okay. I can't say I'm going to be good at it, though."

"We'll learn together."

Sometimes, he really did love how stubborn she could be, when it wasn't annoying. "I guess I do owe you for teaching me how to read. But if you want to learn how to fight like a pirate, your lessons start tomorrow, noon sharp, if my training with Zaheer goes according to schedule."

Jinora drained her mug, silent when he expected her to smile, and he added, "Hey, something wrong?"

"It's…" she set down her mug. "You're _really_ good, aren't you?" she said, sounding oddly sad.

"Well, yeah."

"I just… I don't want you to ever bite off more than you can chew in a fight just because you think you can. I don't want you to get hurt. I don't want you doing something only so you don't get hurt again, I mean… that's where the drive comes from, isn't it? Why you're so good? Because people tried to hurt you."

He blinked in surprise. "Um...I guess, but…" He tried to give her a small smile. "I also just like doing it because it was the first thing I found out I was really good at, you know? It's not all bad. And it won't affect me teaching you."

"But…" She chewed on her bottom lip, which was terribly distracting, for a moment. "But people have hurt you," she pressed.

His smile faded, but his eyes remained bright. "Yeah. They have."

Jinora tentatively reached for his hand, giving it a soft squeeze when he didn't pull away. "No one will ever get to hurt you like that again. You know that, right?"

"I know it as much as I can honestly believe it," he said quietly, grasping at her fingers. "On good days, anyway."

"And on bad days?"

"I remind myself of all the people who love me when they shouldn't, and remind myself there has to be a reason that they do. Even if I can't see it yet." A small, broken smile flickered on his face. "That list has grown a lot this past year. I'm both grateful and...not sure I deserve it."

"You do deserve it," she said quietly. "But love isn't really about being deserving, anyway. It just… happens. Because someone makes you happier more than they make you sad, when it comes down to it all. Because of history… or because of the future, and all the possibilities it holds."

He swallowed. "Like you and me?"

She gave him the softest smile she had ever given anyone, and squeezed his hand again. "Yeah. Like you and me."

Kai smiled, glancing down at his half-full mug as a flush crept along the tips of his ears. "Every time I think about that day in the bank," he said quietly, "I'm honestly not sure who saved who anymore."

"You would have been fine without me," she murmured.

"Barely, at best." He ran his thumb over her knuckles. "With you, I'm...better than I ever thought I could be." He smiled when she looked up at him with a soft flush to her cheeks. "I think you saved me just as much as I saved you, that day. If not more. And it's because of you. You make me better. More...hopeful, I guess, that one day…"

 _That one day I can someone worthy of you._

"You what?" Something in her tone cued him in that he'd said something wrong, and his eyes widened.

 _Shit._ Had he said that out loud?

He coughed like his life depended on it, her eyes equally as wide but not as panicked. "Worthy of being your friend, I mean," he said hastily, ready to choke on his own heart.

Her smile loosened, even as he saw her relax a little. "You already are, stupid." She squeezed his hand. "And I hope that someday, I can help you see just how worthy and wonderful you are."

He managed to return her smile. "Thank you, Jinora."

The stars were bright in the sky when they left the kitchen, and Jinora tangled her fingers with his, giving his hand a soft squeeze. "Do you want to come back to the house? To your room?" she asked quietly. She shivered a little and he couldn't help but smile.

"Guess I should, eh?" he said. "None of my stuff is really back on the ship at the moment."

"Good." They walked together in silence, and Jinora found that Tenzin had already left his spot on the porch, probably heading off to bed once he'd seen that Jinora had gotten to Kai safely.

They walked inside, up the stairs, and Kai already felt a little warmer in the better-insulated house when they reached the divergence in the main hallway, one leading to the main rooms, the other to the guest wing.

"Goodnight," Jinora said. "I love you."

He looked at her, startled, as she slipped her hand out of his and scurried off to her room. "Sleep well," he called after her meekly, his heart pounding in his throat.

How did three small words somehow mean so much more when he wasn't sad or falling apart in her arms? When the world was already just fine, and she said it anyway, just because she wanted to.

Just because she wanted him to know that she loved him.

He went off to his room, his heart feeling light as he settled into bed, the stars in the window looking especially bright.


	8. Valentines

CHAPTER EIGHT: Valentines

The start of term seemed to come all too soon, Jinora found, which was a rarity in her case. The Waterbender loaded back up and all the crew hugged Kai goodbye (well, Zaheer gave him a rare smile and a hair ruffle, which she supposed was the closest thing to a hug anyone could get from him) and the boy was very reluctant to leave his new sword behind at the mansion, even if there was no way they could smuggle it into school.

"I'll take good care of it, kid," Yung had promised. Kai had just hugged the older man tightly, before giving him a grateful nod. Leaving him a second time couldn't have been easy, Jinora figured, but Kai would get used to it, as temporary as the leave was.

The mansion became smaller in the distance as the ferry boat that stretched across Yue Bay, the luggage carriage that had transported their belongings still sitting near the docks just behind them, and Jinora turned her attention to Kai as they glided away from her home in the ferry.

"Least you know what you're getting yourself into this time," she reminded him, and he snorted.

"Yeah. I'm really looking forward to the essays."

"Shush, you're up to speed with reading now, and Professor Zei says your writing's come a long way. Besides, your best friend happens to be the best writer in our class, so you've got nothing to worry about."

"Great, so you'll write all my essays for me?"

Jinora narrowed her eyes at him. "Nice try. But I will say whenever you feel like you really need a break from your studies, you can teach me more sword fighting."

"We don't have swords anymore."

"How different are sticks? Or rapiers?"

"Uh, weight distribution, length, sharpness, deepness of the average blow, the arc of a swing through because of the weight, grip—"

"You can't even give me an idea? Before we use real swords?"

"I taught you what I could before break ended, and you're doing just fine. Why are you so worried anyway?"

"I'm not… worried," she said, pursing her lips. "I just… I'm still rusty. And I'm going to be the only girl, in a space where everyone is going to think I already don't belong, and I'm going to have to be twice as good as any boy to prove that I do, and…" Jinora took a deep breath. "I don't know if I should be going through with this."

"Of course you do. You haven't seen what you look like when you talk about your fencing days; you practically glow. You can't give up on it when you have a chance to go back to it, just because of what other people will think. Besides, not everyone will think you don't belong. I'll be there, remember? We can be misfits together." He reached over and tucked her hair behind her ears. "You didn't care what anyone would think when you decided to be friends with me, so you shouldn't care what they think now, either."

"And...if it turns out I'm no good at it anymore?"

"Then you'll get better." He dropped his hand back to his lap. "I'll make sure you do."

Jinora smiled slightly. "Thanks, Kai."

"And you don't have to be twice as good as any boy, but I bet you will be by the end of the term. Well, maybe not twice as good as me, since nobody is, but everyone else—"

"Shut up," she mumbled with a soft smile, elbowing him in the ribs. "I'll settle for being as good as you."

"Fair enough. Might as well reach, right?" He laughed when she elbowed him again. "I'm kidding. I know we'll both be the best. Even if we aren't, we at least won't be worst. And we'll be there together."

"Yeah." She took his hand, and rested her head on his shoulder. "I never really had a friend in fencing before. It was always with only boys, and they used to pick on me, so…"

"Probably because you were better than them. Or they were worried you would be." He rested his head on top of hers. "And if anyone picks on you now, I'll take care of them."

"Please don't get into trouble again this term," she said, trying to suppress a smile. "Or you might give Lee a heart attack."

Kai grinned. "How is Sono anyway?"

"Busy. His older brother is getting married this March to a socialite girl from ZaFou and it's a big affair."

"And the girls?"

"Happy and spoiled. Even Miki got a new set of books for the Festival, and money's always been a little tight in her family, so…" Jinora shrugged.

"I expect Sesi wrangled people under the mistletoe more than once," he teased.

She laughed. "I bet… hey Kai?"

"Hmm?"

"Why do you call people by their surnames sometimes?"

"Oh, uh." He blinked. "It's something in the pirate world, for acquaintances, and occasionally enemies. Or for people who you're actually friends with, but can't go broadcasting it about. It's… neutral. First names are typically only for crew members or like, personal friends. There's a man on our ship named Li though, and he goes by his last name Wan because of how many other people has his name, but that's the only exception."

"So what do people call you when they want to be neutral? Tashi?"

"Nah, that was just for school papers. Since Yung was already penned as my guardian, it was just easier. There's not many people who need to know me, though. If they need to, they call me boy, or kid, since I'm a few years younger than any of the crew if not way more, so I guess I've never really needed a last name…" His brows knit together. "Part of me wishes I knew, though. I wish I knew where my mother was buried."

Jinora curled into him, squeezing his hand. She could count on one hand the number of times he had mentioned his mother, or even his parents altogether. (He never mentioned his father, however). "Isn't there a way we could find out?" she asked softly. She didn't want him to start stacking his walls up again.

He shook his head. "Any records, if they exist, are all the way over in Geishou, Omashu. But it's okay. I've made peace with not knowing, more or less."

"We could look for them, later, if you want. You don't have to decide now, just...know you can find out, if you want."

Kai was quiet, then squeezed her hand. "Thank you."

"It's what I'm here for."

They were quiet for a little while, the silence warm and comfortable like a childhood blanket, as the motion of the carriage on the road lulled them to sleep.

The term wouldn't be so bad. He'd survived the first, anyway. And besides, he still had her.

###

Valentine's Day was one of Jinora's favourite days of the year. Between the baking parties all the girls had a few days before the actual day, and the decorations, to the exchange of cards and sweets between friends and couples alike, it was always a happy one at school. Shen Shen always received more than her fair share of roses, cards, and chocolates, but were happy to share the latter with the rest of them, and Pfannee had plans with her current boyfriend, Lu Wong, and Miki had a small library of romance novels to choose from. Even the boys would eventually give in to the festivities, as she'd come to expect a rose and a half-dozen pink-frosted cookies every year.

"What's so special about February 14th?" Kai asked at the very start of the month, as he walked through the fields between classes with Lee and Jinora.

"It's alright, I'm not a fan either," Lee said with a slight smile, and Jinora rolled her eyes.

"You give all of us a card every year," she said, wrinkling her nose at him.

"Seriously," Kai said, "I mean, it's just a day."

"It's a day to spend with the people you love, letting them know you love them. I don't know what you have against it."

"I don't have anything against it," he shrugged, "I've just never really celebrated it. Besides, it seems kind of pointless."

"Valentine's Day is the most romantic day of the year," Jinora said with a slight pout.

"It's a stupid day."

She frowned. "It is not stupid, it is—"

He rolled his eyes. "It kind of is, Jin."

"Don't you Jin me—"

"It's just another random holiday to stress out over. At least the Spirit Festival has a point, and is more fun anyway. I mean, you shouldn't need a special day to show you care about someone, in big grand gestures. You should be showing them everyday in little ones."

"There's nothing wrong with grand gestures every so often."

"It's a dumb day, one that causes more conflicts than not. Besides, if a gesture is a total surprise, isn't it better than one that's expected?" Kai ran a hand through his hair, the tips of his ears turning a bit red. "Yung always says the best things in life are unexpected."

"It's just a day," Lee said, "it's okay if the girls want extra gestures once every year, even if it is stupid—"

"So you both agree that it's stupid?" said Jinora, crossing her arms over her chest. Both boys looked at each other uneasily.

"It's just dumb to have an entire day that so many relationships seem to hinge on," Kai said carefully, "but isn't it nicer to have small, unexpected gestures happen throughout the year—"

"I have class," Jinora said suddenly, "and afterwards the girls and I are making Valentine's Day cards, and neither of you are invited to join us." She turned away with a huff, striding back across the grassy snowy fields the way they had come, and Lee and Kai glanced at each other.

"This is why I just give them all a card," Lee shrugged, and Kai sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"Pirates just don't celebrate it," he said, this time shrugging himself. "Unless your partner is in the same crew there's no way anyone's celebrating it otherwise."

"Has it ever been celebrated on your ship?"

"Our navigator sends his girlfriend a special card every year, but that's it, I think. Besides, most pirates don't have long-term partners, period. The few times I've been on land to see it, it always just seemed like an excuse to make people spend more money on each other."

"You don't even wish you had someone to celebrate it with?"

"Like a partner? I'd like to think we'd be showing each other small gestures year-long, enough to not have to celebrate it." Kai pushed a small rock over with his foot. "But I'll never have that anyway."

"Well, why not?"

"Pirates can't get married, and we don't settle down, either. What kind of girl is gonna want that life?"

Lee shook his head, with a tiny smile on his face. "You're not exactly just a pirate anymore. You're innocent in the eyes of the law, and you could settle down if you wanted to."

Kai rolled the pebble under the sole of his foot. "But I couldn't leave behind the crew. They're...the closest thing I can remember to a family."

"Most kids end up leaving their families when they grow up," Lee pointed out. "At least partially."

"I dunno…"

"Look, Kai, as much as Valentine's Day isn't always that fun for me either, it's also not as stupid as you think it is. At least not to Jinora."

"Yeah." Kai stepped off of the pebble. "I should probably go apologize, huh?"

"That would probably be smart. And then hopefully she won't be mad at me when I have to go apologize, either."

Kai gave him a dry stare. "So I'm the human shield?"

Lee gave him a rare, quicksilver smile. "Just about."

"Great." Kai sighed. "Okay, fine. Let's go."

###

Valentine's Day fell on that weekend, and Jinora hadn't talked to either Lee or Kai during the week leading up to it, opting to spend more time with the girls.

"Boys are jerks," Jinora had said during a baking session on Friday afternoon, when their last period was a spare, and Shen Shen made a noise of agreement.

"Although," she said slyly, "it seems most of the girls don't think that about Kai. I heard Cyntha Wen talking about how cute he was over at the lockers earlier today."

Pfannee rolled her eyes at the mention of her cousin, when Miki said, "She's not the only one. You know Yiri from history? She was saying she was going to leave a card in his mail box."

Jinora scowled. "Well they can all forget it, he thinks the whole thing is stupid anyway."

"Is that why you're not talking to him?" Miki asked. Jinora nodded with a frown.

"And Lee of all people agreed. I knew he wasn't crazy about Valentine's Day, but he didn't have to take his side."

"So which one of them are you more upset about?" asked Shen Shen.

"What?"

"Just curious. I already think I know the answer, but it'd be interesting to hear it from you."

"I—they're both my friends, they're supposed to be supportive, or at least not call my favourite minor holiday stupid—"

"So you're mad at Kai," said Pfannee, "because he'll never want to celebrate Valentine's Day with you?"

"I think I just established that I'm mad at both of them—"

"But if you and Kai get together," Shen Shen said, glancing at her cuticles, "and he doesn't want to celebrate with you—"

"What? No, I—"

"And you're not as angry with Lee, firstly because he's put up with it all these years, and you don't see him like that anyway—"

"It's not like that, you're all just as ridiculous as the boys—"

"If he's worth it, he'll come around," Miki said. "Maybe he won't love the day as much as you do, but if he really cares about you, he'll realize how important it is to you."

Jinora stirred the pink frosting more vigorously. "I don't need either of them to think of me like that, it'd just be nice if they'd…" She stopped stirring. "I don't know, it'd be nice if they'd care that it's important to me."

"Well, we always will," Miki said.

"Unless you mess up the frosting," Shen Shen teased, and Jinora almost laughed.

"Bold words from the woman who's in charge of making the batter this year," Jinora said.

"Well, I know they'll be perfect. And if not, there's always Miki's recipe to fall back on."

"And if you're still mad at the boys and the first batch turns out terrible, you'll know what to do with them," Miki grinned.

"But they won't turn out terrible," Shen Shen said, crossing her arms with a dainty huff.

"It's nice to have a backup plan regardless," said Miki, as she checked the oven. "They look pretty, at least. It was a good idea, having all those varieties of heart-shaped cookie cutters."

"Are you still giving the boys any?" Shen Shen asked Jinora, and she sighed.

"I should say no, but…" She stuck her finger in the leftover icing, and then licked it off. "Kai can just be so infuriating sometimes, when he decides to be stubborn."

"A little like you?"

"What? No, I'm not nearly as bullheaded, or rude, or…" Jinora let out a huff.

"You do always think you're right though," said Pfannee, and Miki snickered.

"I do not!"

"Yes you do—"

"No, I don't—"

"Remember when we stayed behind in class half an hour late because you were arguing with the teacher on a point until he finally gave in and let everyone go?" Miki asked, sitting down next to Jinora.

"Well, yes, but—but mostly he wouldn't listen to me because I was a girl—"

"And has Kai ever not listened to you because of that?"

"Well, no, but—"

"Then maybe let him have his opinion. It's Valentine's Day. You don't have to agree."

Jinora pressed her lips together. "I'll give it another day. I just...it's important to me. Even if he doesn't like it, he doesn't have to be such a jerk about it."

Shen Shen sighed. "Stubborn indeed. While you're being mad at your not-boyfriend, help me set up the cooling racks."

Jinora flushed. "You're all the worst," she mumbled, but she helped set up the cooling racks anyway.

She wouldn't have to see either Kai or Lee for a while, anyway, so maybe after a few days to cool off, she'd talk to them. If they didn't apologize.

Maybe in a few days, she wouldn't need them to.

###

It was 4am on Valentine's Day when Kai and Lee finally filled up the last of the heart-shaped plates, looking uncertainly at the lumpy chocolate chip cookies, frosted with a light coating of pink.

"You sure she'll like them?" Kai asked.

"They're not burnt or raw, and the best we could manage," Lee replied. "You know most people make sugar cookies—"

"Daw never makes them, and even he did, they wouldn't be… lumpy."

"Hey, I've never had to cook before, and you're not a good teacher."

Kai narrowed his eyes at Lee. "I'm not sharing our extra plate with you."

"I'll probably snag at least one when you're not looking anyway." Lee smiled slightly. "Consequence of rooming with a pirate."

He sighed. "Whatever. Think we can wake her up now?"

"She might be even angrier at us if I do that. We should just go to bed and give them to her in the morning. I thought since you thought of making the cookies, you'd be brighter than this."

Kai rubbed at his eyes, and resisted the urge to sock him on the shoulder. "Fine. We'll go to bed."

Lee patted him on the shoulder. "It'll be fine."

"Hopefully. Thanks for helping."

Lee gave him a tiny smile. "You really care about what she thinks of you, don't you?"

Kai ran a hand through his hair. "Well yeah. I mean, don't you?"

"Perhaps I'm a bit more secure in knowing she likes me, then," Lee said. "Jinora and I don't fight often, but it's never been the end of our friendship when we do."

Kai dropped his gaze to the floor. "Usually, whenever I argue with someone… they leave me."

Lee frowned. "Kai…"

"Not literally, not always, or they—they threaten to throw me out. That's what my Captain used to do."

"That's not your fault."

"Isn't it? If I was just better, or… less fucked up, then…"

"You are not—" Lee swallowed. "You are not fucked up."

"You don't know that. You don't… There are a lot of things that, that I…"

"No matter what you've dealt with, or been through, or done in the past, people who really care don't just leave, or threaten to throw you out. Jinora's never going to do either, Kai… and neither am I."

Kai swallowed hard, managing a tiny smile. "Thanks." He rubbed his eyes again. "Can we go to sleep now?"

"Now you're talking sense," Lee said, laughing softly when Kai shoved him lightly in the shoulder.

No matter what, hopefully everything would be okay. Maybe the cookies would just speed things up a little.

###

She'd just gotten back from breakfast with Miki when Jinora heard a knock at their door.

"Were you expecting anyone?" Jinora asked, and Miki shook her head.

"If we have a line of your admirers out the door, I'm kicking you out for the day," said Miki, and Jinora rolled her eyes before looking through the peep hole.

"It's Lee," Jinora said, before opening the door quickly. "I didn't expect—" Her voice turned slightly flat. "Oh, hi Kai."

"Would you come up to our room? Just for a little bit," Lee asked. "We've got something to show you."

Jinora crossed her arms over her chest. "Like what?"

"We didn't mean to make you feel like anything you like is unimportant or stupid," Kai burst, "and we're sorry for making you feel invalid, or silly. So please just… just come upstairs?"

Jinora sighed, then glanced back at Miki. "I'll be back," Jinora said, before closing the door. She followed the boys up to their floor, pausing at their room, when Lee opened the door for her.

The room was filled with pink and red balloons, with a glass vase full of roses, and three full plates of messy pink-frosted cookies.

Any irritation melted away. "You both did all this?" she asked, stepping inside.

"Stayed up all night," Lee said, and Kai elbowed him in the ribs. "What? It's true."

"Look, we'll...at least, I know I'll never really 'get' Valentine's Day," Kai said. "But you're important to me, to both of us, even if the actual day isn't, and since Valentine's Day is important to you…" He was going in circles now, and frowned. "Well, we—"

"I know what you're trying to say, Kai," Jinora said gently. "Thank you."

"So...you forgive us?"

Jinora smiled softly. "It'd be rude not to forgive you after you both went through all this trouble."

"I would've just bought cookies and left it at that," Lee joked, and Kai flushed, his frown deepening.

"Well I think it's sweet," Jinora said, and Kai softened. She picked up a cookie, turning it over in her hands. "You both made them?"

"Kai's recipe," Lee said, and Kai's blush spread over his cheeks.

"Technically Daw's. I tried to shape them like hearts but they came out lumpy instead."

Jinora took a bite, then smiled softly to herself. "They're wonderful. Thank you."

"Wonderful enough to spend the day with us?" asked Kai.

Jinora's smile grew slightly. "I suppose I could manage that."

They spent the rest of the day in Kai and Lee's room, eating cookies and laughing about everything and nothing.

No matter how mad they made her sometimes, Jinora realized, they would always be her boys.

###

It became clear the following week that Shen Shen and Pfannee had been right about Yiri Yang and Cyntha Wen fancying Kai, however. It had started with cards and chocolates in Kai's locker, and continued on with one of the two girls approaching him between classes each day, before more started to join them. It seemed that the reporters at the New Year's party (or at least the people who had gossiped to them) had straightened out their stories, painting him as a dashing hero with a heart of gold and a tragic backstory.

It wasn't too far off from the truth, Jinora thought irritably, when she saw one of the girls had pinned up one of the newspaper articles in her locker, but it was beyond rude when most of them had either snubbed him the entire year before now, or had sighed afar over the mysterious, brooding bad boy they thought him out to be, but had deemed approachable now that he was being shone in a better light. To most of them, Kai would only be another shiny new accessory, or a way to get back at overly strict parents.

"They would hate his tattoos," said Cyntha, to a few girls clustered around her locker. It seemed like she was preparing another card for Kai. "Imagine, me bringing home my very own pirate."

It was all Jinora could do to avoid getting into fights of her own. Shen Shen, Miki and Pfannee mostly kept her sane, and from strangling anyone.

"He is not a thing," she growled under her breath.

"I know, sweetie," said Shen Shen, patting her on the shoulder. "But at least Kai doesn't mind."

"What do you mean he doesn't mind?" she snapped, as Lee came out of his afternoon economics class, joining her side. Kai was being tutored in the library.

"Well, he takes all the new attention in stride," said Shen Shen. "When he bothers to notice it at all."

"Are you talking about all the girls that keep slipping love notes under our door?" Lee asked, and Jinora glared at him. "What? I'm pretty sure Kai's using them to build a bonfire on the roof, or something."

Her glare faltered, almost breaking into a laugh. "So he doesn't like them?"

"He won't admit it, but I think all the attention makes him nervous," Lee said in a low voice. "You know him, he's much humbler than he lets on."

"I just wish they'd all stop bothering him," said Jinora. "None of them even really know him, let alone care about him."

"I'm sure it'll all die down," said Pfannee soothingly. "But at least it means he no longer has a bad reputation."

"Why can't people just treat him like a person?" Jinora crossed her arms over her chest. "It's disgusting, the way they all fawn over him like a new bracelet."

"If it makes you feel any better, Kai was planning to invite you up to the illegal bonfire," said Lee.

Jinora raised her eyebrow at him. "You're not stopping him?"

"He's smart enough not to burn down the school," Lee shrugged. "I think, anyhow. Besides, I can't really stop him. He picks the lock every time he goes up there to smoke."

Jinora almost smiled. "He shouldn't be smoking, but… So you'll just join him?"

"He promised we could roast marshmallows."

"I want s'mores," Shen Shen said. "Am I invited?"

"I don't know," Lee admitted. "You'll have to ask him. I… I think he's still a little intimidated by you three, to be honest. Besides, it's up to him who he wants up there. It's his bonfire."

"Hmm, well, let him know we're happy to join you all if he's willing to have us," Shen Shen said. "I'll bring the graham crackers."

"S'mores aren't too messy for you?" Miki asked.

"They're good enough for me to not care that they're messy," Shen Shen said. "And it would just be all of you, there's no one in the group I'd have to impress."

"I'm touched," Jinora said dryly.

"Well, if we get invited, I'll bring a good book," said Miki flatly.

Pfannee pouted. "You'll just ignore us the whole time?"

"I'll ignore him."

"Miki," said Jinora disapprovingly.

"What?"

"Why don't you like him?"

Miki rolled her eyes, and readjusted the strap of her bag. "I don't dislike him. I just don't find him particularly interesting. And I have to get to class."

"Miki—"

"I'm serious, I have to go. We'll talk later." Her black hair swayed behind her as she strode off towards her arithmetic class a hallway over.

"She's so hard to read sometimes," Jinora said, and Pfannee let out a hum of agreement.

"Let her have fun with her stuffy books," Shen Shen said dismissively.

"Shen Shen, she's our friend."

"And she's no fun right now."

Jinora sighed. "I'm going to go study in the library."

"With Kai?"

She flushed. "Maybe. Now goodbye, I'll see you at dinner."

"Have fun on your not-date!" Shen Shen called, and Jinora shot her a glare over her shoulder as she left.

"She and Kai really like each other, don't they?" said Lee, a little quiet.

"Well, it's pretty obvious."

"Yeah." Lee smiled slightly. "If she had to go for a pirate, at least it's him. He's a good guy."

"I hope they just get it over with sooner rather than later," she said.

"Yeah," he repeated. His smile faltered. "Me too."

###

The library was always sparsely occupied, and Jinora enjoyed the quiet, as she and Kai sat at a table near the corner of the library, away from everyone else, with a few textbooks open.

"'The war lasted from 378 A.G. to 412 A.G., ending when Senator Roku finally disappeared, and was never seen again.' That good?" Kai looked up from his book at Jinora, who was smiling widely.

"That was perfect, Kai. You've come so far with your reading."

"Well, I had you and Professor Zei. Any dummy would've learned with your help."

"Maybe, but you're no dummy. You're one of the smartest people I know."

Kai snorted. "Now you're pushing it."

"No, I'm not. You've come a long way, and I've seen you work so hard. I'm really proud of you."

Kai smiled shyly. "Thanks, Jin."

They were both turning to their respective textbooks when a shadow fell across the table, and Jinora looked up to see Cyntha Wen staring down at her. The girl looked very little like her cousin Pfannee, except for having the same wavy, glossy brown hair and thick lashes. Pfannee was darker skinned where Cyntha was pale, hooked nosed where Cyntha had a snub one she was usually sticking in the air.

"You're Kai, correct?" Cyntha said, turning away from Jinora to fully face Kai, giving him a smile that was dripping in fake, saturated sweetness. She batted her lashes, and Jinora resisted the urge to gag.

"Um, yeah."

"Yes, I'm sure you received my letter? With those very expensive cufflinks, I'm sure you couldn't forget it."

"Oh. Yeah, uh, I don't really use those, so I gave them to my friend. But he likes them, and says thank you."

Jinora hid her grin behind her book. She was sure she'd seen Lee wearing new cufflinks earlier; he'd complained that they were too heavy.

"Ah." Cyntha's voice was short. "Well, that was...very generous of you." She leaned closer, leaning her elbows on the table in front of him. "So, how have your first few months at school been?"

"Um...okay?"

"It's amazing to think I haven't seen you around before."

"We sat next to each other in history the first day. You moved closer to the back afterwards."

"Oh. Well, I certainly wouldn't mind sitting next to you now."

"Really?" Kai said flatly. "Because I would."

Cyntha's smile fell. "Oh?"

"You've never been very nice to me. Or my friends."

"Well," said Cyntha, her voice almost wheedling, "I didn't know you then—"

"Jinora was nice to me before she knew me. Even Lee was at least polite. And you don't know me at all now, either."

"W-well I could—"

"I'm not interested, but thanks."

Cyntha frowned, and then glared at him. "Have fun screwing the Governor's girl, then!"

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. You don't think we all know how much time she spends in your room?"

Kai frowned. "Yeah, talking with me, and my roommate. Why? You wanted me to screw you, to get a little taste of an exotic pirate? You're disgusting, and petty, so fuck off."

Cyntha's jaw clenched. "You'll pay for this—"

"Careful, Wen," Jinora said coolly, not looking up from her book. "If you want to threaten him, know you have witnesses, and I'm sure the governor won't be happy to hear about this. He's quite fond of Kai."

Cyntha looked between them, and then scowled heavily. "You haven't heard the last of this," she warned, before storming off.

"Thanks," Kai said, and Jinora almost laughed.

"Are you kidding? You really stuck your neck out for me."

"You shouldn't be surprised at this point, Jin. Remember how we met?"

"Still."

"I've had people try to gut me. I'm hardly scared of some snotty rich girl."

"Either way, I appreciate it."

"Well, I appreciate you sticking up for me, too."

Jinora smiled softly. "Friends stick together, right?"

"Yeah. We do."

She reached across the table, giving his hand a soft squeeze, before she said, "Now, where were you in the reading?"

"Senator Roku's disappearance. And then the dark ages, before your grandfather came into power, right?"

She beamed at him. "Fantastic reading comprehension as well. Now, go on."

Kai took a deep breath. "'The nations fell into anarchy for a short time, before the Fire Nation took advantage of the chaos and began its rise of imperialism, which would continue for the next one hundred years…'"

###

The rooftop was cold despite the bonfire, and Jinora suspected it had something to do with being in the last clutches of the winter, but still. If it gave her an excuse to sit a little closer next to Kai and drink hot chocolate, she'd take it.

It was just them and Lee for the time being, but as Kai had several more unwanted love notes to burn, he'd agreed to invite the other girls up when he went downstairs to collect more love notes to keep the fire going.

He hadn't counted on Shen Shen's teasing however, or her delighted gasp when Jinora had told her and the two other girls what had transpired between Kai and Cyntha in the library.

"You. Did. Not."

"I...did?" Kai said.

"There are so many boys that have been drooling after her all year."

"But she's mean."

"Oh, I agree. I must applaud your taste, after all, and, well, it's nice to know she's been taken down a peg."

Kai ripped a letter in two and then tossed it into the fire. "Bullies are bullies, no matter where they're from."

Jinora poked him in the side. "Stop sulking and enjoy burning your love letters."

It coaxed a smile out of him. "Fine." He looked over at the tiny stack of letters leftover. Most of the bonfire had been built with stray twigs and logs, something for him to do in his free time and give him an opportunity to explore the forest in between knife throwing. It had felt awfully like loading and unloading cargo, with its own strange comforts. He picked up one of the letters, which was a bright pastel blue filled with flowy handwriting and what looked like a lipstick print on the bottom. He grimaced, holding it by its edge, as if it was contaminated.

"Wait, let me read that one," Jinora said, taking it from his hands. He looked at her in surprise.

"What? Why?"

"Because I just saw the attempted slant rhyme between 'purple' and 'couple' and had to," she said with a grin.

"Or you could just rip it up and burn it with the rest of them?"

"I'm interested, actually," Shen Shen said. "What kinds of things are these scores of women saying to try to get you to chase them?"

"It's not scores," Kai mumbled, the tips of his ears turning red. "Like, maybe ten? They're just very persistent."

"How terrible for you," said Miki flatly.

Jinora shot Miki a look, but smiled sympathetically at Kai. "Alright, I won't read it aloud, if it makes you uncomfortable."

Shen Shen snatched it out of Jinora's hand. "I will."

"No—"

"'And on those rough seas, may love be the breeze, the purple of sky, the couple of you and I—'"

Kai covered his ears as Pfannee let out a loud laugh, while Lee attempted to stifle a snicker and Jinora patted Kai on the back, unable to hold back a smile.

"This is why I wanted to burn them," he said. "Even I know they're terrible, and I just learned to read this year."

"At least Shen Shen didn't get that one self-insert erotica," Lee said with a slight smile, and Kai groaned loudly.

"Can I gouge my eyes out too?" he mused, taking his knife out of his belt, and Jinora swatted him on the arm.

"You'll survive," she said, taking his knife and running her thumb over the hilt once, before placing it back into his belt, looking up when she found him staring at her. "What?"

"Nothing." He looked away. "People don't usually touch my knife, that's all."

"Oh. I'm...sorry—"

"It's fine. I trust you."

Jinora flushed, smiling softly at him, her heart fluttering as he returned the smile.

"We're out of marshmallows!" Shen Shen called suddenly, straightening up from behind her seat and waving an empty bag in one perfectly manicured hand. Jinora let out a laugh, shaking her head.

"I think we have a stash somewhere," Lee said.

"Oh, good, show me," said Shen Shen, getting up.

"I should probably restock on chocolate too, while we're up," said Pfannee. "Jinora, I left it in your room, do you—?"

"Bottom drawer on my side. I'll show you." Jinora squeezed Kai's shoulder. "Wanna come?"

"Nah, I'll wait up here. Keep an eye on the fire."

"Alright. Miki?"

Miki held up the book she was reading in reply, and Jinora let out a sigh. "Alright, Fanny. Let's go."

The four of them left, leaving Kai on one side of the bonfire, and Miki reading on the other. An uncomfortable silence settled between them, and Kai glanced down at the fire, throwing another note in.

"I know you don't like me," he said finally, quietly. "It's alright. I get it."

Miki looked up from her book. "What?"

"It's okay. You don't have to like me. But...thanks for coming up anyway, to keep our friends company. I know Jinora's glad to have you up here. If I've been the cause of any rift between either of you, I'm sorry for it."

Miki was quiet for so long that Kai figured she wouldn't say anything, when she said, at last, "I don't understand you."

"What do you mean?" Kai asked carefully.

"I mean… a book has a beginning, middle, and end." She held up the ones in her hand for emphasis. "But you don't seem to be all that concerned with any part of your life. You don't talk about your past, you don't talk about your future, and you always seem to act like the present is going to give out under your feet any moment. But you form a friendship with Jinora anyway, even if it'll probably just hurt her in the end. Why?"

"You think I'd hurt her?"

"I don't know. Maybe you wouldn't mean to. But she has a path that she's going down, and you act like you're standing at the edge of a cliff."

"Sometimes it feels like I am." Kai let his focus grow hazy, the fire becoming a warm orange blur. "I… when you think you're going to die, and you don't, your perspective changes. Pirates don't typically live very long. I didn't think I'd make it to sixteen when I was a kid either. And now I'm here, with a chance to live longer than I ever dreamed, doing something safe, but… I don't think my head's caught up with that yet." He glanced up at her. "I know I got lucky. I understand if you don't like that, or think I don't deserve it, because you're right. I don't. And I sure as hell don't deserve Jinora. But she's in my life, and I've learned to appreciate good things while they happen. Even if it's not made to last forever."

She looked at him hard, then said, "You should make sure it lasts as long as possible. Because I see how much you mean to her, and she's going to hold on for as long as she can. Don't let go, because that'll hurt her the most."

"I know." He swallowed. "I'll make sure it lasts. As much as I can help it."

"Good." She fell silent, going back to reading her book when they heard their friends chatting as they climbed back up to the rooftop. They were all chatting as they sat back around the bonfire with their repleted supply of chocolate and marshmallows, and Jinora drew close to Kai, sticking a fresh marshmallow on her stick.

"Did I miss anything?" he asked, and Jinora smiled.

"Just us sneaking past one of the residence monitors. Did I miss anything up here?"

Kai glanced at Miki, who was still hunched over her book. "Nah."

"Good." Jinora set her marshmallow over the bonfire, as Kai threw another note into the flames. He smiled softly to himself when she rested her head on his shoulder, gently rotating the marshmallow well over the flames, watching it puff up into a golden brown.

Somehow, everything she touched ended up being perfect—and maybe he wouldn't have to be the exception.


	9. The Challenge

CHAPTER NINE: The Challenge

In his first care package of the semester—which included both practical things from the Gyatsos and an assortment of treats and trinkets from the crew—Kai received his fencing uniform, reminding him that the season was close at hand. Jinora too received a similar white uniform, her old once being too small and worn after years of disuse.

He'd smiled when she tried it on, the material a little thick and only fitted just enough, her hair tied back into a bun.

"It suits you," he'd said, and she'd poked him on the chest.

"Just don't go easy on me when we spar, pirate."

"No promises," he had said with a grin. That had been a little less than a week ago, and as he sat at one of the benches, waiting for the other students to come in, he thanked any and every god out there that Jinora was with him, her very presence easing his nerves. Most of the boys, in the same pristine white uniforms as the rest of them, cast them dirty looks, although not at all, and he couldn't tell which ones were directed at him or Jinora, or both.

"Now, boys," said the fencing coach, a portly man with a mustache with a fencing helmet tucked under one arm, as he strode into the room. He was wearing the same white uniform, only with a gold insignia on his left breast pocket, a symbol of St. Bosco's. "Er, boys and girls, my name is Raan Zoran."

He clasped his hands together. "I am… glad to welcome all of you to our fencing tryouts this year, and I hope we will all put together a great team. That being said, this will be a very rigorous session and we do not have enough room for everyone on the team this year, so roughly half of you, unfortunately, will not be able to join this year's fencing team. However, you are more than welcome to participate in practices all the same, for some variety in sparring partners. And if you do make the team, be warned that it will only get harder from here. I expect the very best from all of you. Now, does anyone here have some previous experience with fencing?" His mustache twitched when a boy in the year above Kai and Jinora immediately raised his hand. "Yes, Ping?"

"I'm excited to be on the team again this year, Coach Zoran, after competing in the final last year." He smiled smugly at the boys on either side of him, who were clearly his friends.

"Well, since you and Miss Gyatso are the only ones this year with prior experience, would you mind starting us off today?"

"Um," Jinora burst, her voice sounding strangled, and she immediately flushed when everyone looked at her. "It's been a while, sir, I'm not sure I—"

"Leave it to a girl to be a wimp," Ping muttered to his friend, who snickered. All nervousness in Jinora's face suddenly melted, and Kai watched her jaw tighten.

"But I'll do my best anyway," she said, her voice finding a new, confident composure. They'd been doing some rough training with sticks that had a similar lightness to fencing sabres, and she'd become more conditioned very quickly, even unintentionally teaching him a little of the differences between fencing and swordfighting in the process, certain rules and the like.

And Kai was certain that she could do this, smiling as she got to her feet and pulled on her helmet, a white dome with a mesh mask in front, her hair tucked underneath, and stepped into an _en garde_ position, her rapier held aloft as Ping measured up in a mirroring stance on the other side of the match rectangular, shown by white lines on the floor. She was a little more stiff to begin, and he watched her body begin to relax, just like during their brief training sessions, just in time to dodge when Ping advanced with a lunge, his sabre extended. He made and attack and she quickly met it with a parry, their sabres meeting for a moment, before Ping drew back. Jinora fell for a feint and barely recovered in time to dodge where his sabre actually attempted to land, and Kai watched her footing falter, a frown crossing his face.

 _C'mon, Jin,_ he silently urged. _You got this._

This time when he made an attack, she countered it quickly, for a moment taking the offensive. They switched back and forth like this for some time, as Jinora's footing fell into a more steady beat, when she did something that both surprised and delighted Kai; she bent her wrist, twisting her blade so that Ping had no choice but to falter and fumble with the hilt of his rapier, nearly dropping it, before the pressed the snubbed edge of her blade into his chest, officially scoring a point and winning the match.

Kai stood to his feet and clapped loudly, his chest bursting with pride when he remembered where he was, and promptly sat back down. Jinora gave him a soft smile once she'd removed her helmet, her cheeks flushed.

"Very good, Miss Gyatso," praised Coach Zoran, going to help Ping to his feet. "You and Ping may resume your seats, now…." Ping grumbled, butthurt with wounded pride as he slinked back to his seat. "I do have a question, Miss Gyatso."

"Yes?" she asked, stopping on her way to her seat.

"That final move of yours was rather unusual, if effective. Where did you learn it?"

Jinora blinked, then pointed at Kai. "From him, actually."

"Ah." The coach blinked too, and then looked down at the register. "Mr. Kai Tashi, correct?"

Kai folded his hands together in his lap. "Yes sir."

"You taught Miss Gyatso that move?" he asked, and Kai nodded. "And who taught it to you?"

"Um… no one."

"No one?"

"I mean, the move has existed, previously. I… I had it used against me once and decided to learn it myself, afterwards."

"I see. That's...very clever, Mr. Tashi."

"Thank you, sir."

"Would you mind demonstrating?"

"Um...sure." Kai got up slowly as Jinora sat down, giving him a broad grin.

Kai drew his sabre, running his hand over it once, which she knew he did to calculate the weight in his head, before settling into a looser stance than an _en garde_ one, but with the same overall framework. Coach Zoran held out his sword, and watched as Kai shifted to accommodate his position around the instructor's, before demonstrating the move in the same steps he had to Jinora a few weeks ago. Coach Zoran's grip on his sabre hilt slipped, and he smiled at Kai.

"That is a mighty fine trick, young man. You should be proud of yourself… how long have you taken fencing?"

Kai pointed his sabre towards the ground and rubbed the back of his neck. "I've never taken fencing… but I have been trained in swordfighting since I was ten years old, sir."

Coach Zoran blinked in surprise. "Ah. That young?"

"Yes, sir."

"And who trained you?"

"My captain, mostly. Zaheer of the Waterbender, sir. Usually for three hours every day." Something in Kai's eyes flickered. "Six when I make a mistake."

"Well, your hard work shows. You've been working with Miss Gyatso as well?"

"Yes sir." He smiled softly. "Only few a few weeks, though, just because I don't know proper fencing and she felt rusty. But she's really gotten the hang of it, and is a really fast learner, as you just saw."

"Yes, I see. Well, you both seem to work very well together. You may have a seat, Mr. Tashi."

"You're...not going to have me spar with someone?"

"Oh, I think I've seen enough."

Kai swallowed hard. "Yes, sir." He sat back down and Jinora gave him a quick smile.

"You did great," she said softly.

"I didn't do much," he replied, but she gave his shoulder a squeeze.

"You didn't have to. He was so impressed already."

"I guess. But what about you? You kicked that jerk's ass," he said with a soft smile, nudging her gently.

"Yeah, thanks to you."

"Nah, that was all you. Just because I give someone tools doesn't mean that I automatically fixed everything for them, you know? If you don't make the team after that tryout, the coach is an idiot."

Jinora shushed him gently, unable to keep back a smile. "You're an idiot too."

It was announced the following Monday that they had both been let onto the team (and Ping too, unfortunately) but still, Jinora couldn't help but grin and turn to Kai once she had torn her eyes away from the notice pinned up on the cafeteria cork board that held other postings and announcements. She bounced a little on the balls of her feet as Kai scooped her up into a hug, holding her tight and spinning her around, eliciting a giggle. She held on tightly even when he lowered her back onto her feet, her hands on his shoulders as she grinned at him, and he beamed back at her.

"I knew you could do it," he told her, his eyes a mixture of happiness and pride.

"And our team's going to be the best it's ever been with you on it."

"With _us_ on it," he corrected, and warmth bloomed in Jinora's chest.

Then she remembered where she was, and let go of his shoulders—his nice, broad shoulders. "Maybe… could you keep teaching me, though? More of what you've learned?"

He nodded, still smiling softly. "Of course, Jin. We can go to the gym tonight, if you'd like. After dinner? Around eight?"

She nodded, and bit her lip despite herself. "It's a date."

###

The gym was usually empty after 8pm, and Jinora shivered slightly in her shorts and tanktop as she walked in with her small bag for casual practices, consisting only of her her water bottle and her fencing helmet, though she was sure she wouldn't need the latter. Her practice foil hung at her side, the thin blade light against her hip.

Kai was already there, wearing loose, low slung pants that perhaps he had worn on the ship, and a newer top (although it still looked a little worn) that was black, and left his arms bare as he used the bar attached to one of the walls to do some pull ups, first both arms, and then just one. He hadn't realized she had entered yet, and she had a much better view of the tattoos along his arms, as the one that was still holding his weight up flexed slightly with exertion. She'd never fully appreciated how defined his upper arms were before; she'd never really gotten the chance, she realized, as a drop of sweat trickled down the curve of his muscles.

"Oh, hey Jin," he said suddenly, dropping from the bar onto his feet. He pulled up the hem of his shirt slightly to wipe away some of the sweat on his forehead, revealing the toned muscles underneath, and her throat went dry. "Ready to go?"

"Go?" she managed, then remembered herself. "Oh, um, yes." She held up her foil, her cheeks still a little warm. "Should we just—?"

Kai grinned and crossed his arms over his chest, studying her as she dropped into an _en garde_ stance. "Your feet are a little sloppy, Jin. Straighten 'em out, first, or I'll end up knocking you flat on your back without even trying."

She looked down at her feet, aligning them properly, even as the thought of Kai pinning her to the ground popped into her mind unbidden, and it was not at all unpleasant. "Like this?"

"Exactly," he praised, a smirk upturning his lips, as he dropped into the same stance a few meters away from her.

Jinora still couldn't get over how quickly he moved, fighting with a quickness she suspected was instilled in him when his life quite literally depended on the speed and precision with which he moved. He made sure to keep her on her toes, having to think at the tail end of each present move, her arms and legs struggling to keep up with her. He doled out move after move, each one seeming to overlap with each other, like a complex, more physical version of a game of chess. She tripped over her own foot, falling over, and she found herself under the point of Kai's foil. He didn't poke her with it, nor did he let her fall, his free arm grabbing her wrist, and then winding around her waist as he pulled her back up fully to her feet, and her chest nearly touching his.

"Looks like I win this round," he grinned, and Jinora couldn't even find her breath, let alone reply. His smile faltered when the silence stretched on. "You okay, Jin? You look a little warm."

"Fine," she managed, not wanting him to let go of her. "A-and technically, you don't win unless you've tapped me—"

He leaned forward, and let his nose boop hers. "There."

A giggle slipped out of Jinora's nose despite herself. "You're such an idiot." She tried not to show her disappointment when he let go of her. "Shall we go again?"

"Alright, whenever you're ready. Just remember, stay light on your feet. You lock your knees into place sometimes, and it makes it harder to move."

Jinora bent her knees slightly, letting them bounce a little, and nodded. "Noted. Anything else?'

He smirked. "You're really cute when you're focused."

She wrinkled her nose at him. "Flirt."

"What, it's true."

"Please, you're just trying to distract me."

He arched his eyebrows at her, still smirking. "So you're saying that I _distract_ you?"

"I—" She flushed. "Shut up."

"See now you've admitted it."

"And now I'm really going to try and beat you."

"Good luck, I know I can be distracting. And if you weren't trying before, well, that hurts my feelings. I want you to give it your all."

Jinora wrinkled her nose at him again, before lunging at him, her foil almost fully extended. He dodged, and then parried, his footwork almost mirroring her own route for a moment, before he slashed his way back, and she dodged each one, finding it easier to keep up with him as she kept her knees loose.

"That's it," he told her, his smirk softening into a smile. "Good job, Jin."

"Don't congratulate me yet," she managed, her foil crossing his for a moment. "Not until I've beaten you."

It hadn't happened once in the nearly two months they'd been practicing with one another, and he gave her a cocky grin. "We'll be here for the rest of the year, if that's the case, Jin."

"You son of a—" She gasped when her back hit a wall, his foil just inches away from her stomach, when he instead withdrew it, and drew closer to her himself.

"I thought I was the one with a mouth on me."

Jinora raised her chin and looked him in the eyes. "You could put your mouth on me instead," she said smoothly.

He nearly dropped his sabre, and then grunted when she elbowed him in the chest, twisting them around so she had him pinned, and poked him lightly on the stomach with her finger in void of her foil.

"There," she breathed. "I win."

Kai swallowed hard, and her eyes followed the motion of his Adam's apple. "You did," he said, slightly out of breath. "G-good job. Even if you cheated."

She eased herself off of him, raising her eyebrows. "I did _not_ cheat."

"You kind of did—"

"Distracting you on purpose is not cheating. It's being resourceful, you prat." But she was smiling slightly.

"And you think flirting with an opponent would go over well in a match or a real fight—"

"If it works, yes. And I wasn't _flirting_ , not for real."

He smile flickered slightly. "Of course." He swallowed. "Well… best three out of five?"

She moved back to their ring, away from the wall, her slightly damp hair stuck to her cheek. "You're on."

###

It was a little harder to get letters from any of the crew while they were out at sea, and Yung was no exception, as he'd decided to get back to sailing for till Kai was back for March Break, which was still a few weeks away. So when Kai finally received a letter from both Yung and Lefty, he couldn't help but be more curious about the latter's, and opened it first when he was sitting down on his bed. Lefty was gruff and friendly but wasn't really a letter writer. What could be so important that he'd sent something alongside Yung's usual letter?

When he was done, he wanted to throw it in the trash, because how could they do this to him? How could they ask him of that? How could Lefty? Did Yung even know? Did loyalty mean nothing, all of a sudden? His hands were shaking, the paper ripping slightly under the stress before Kai placed it face-down on his desk, his fists curling and searching for something to damage when he settled with his pillow.

He was going to rip into it when the door creaked open, and Lee walked in, throwing his heavy leather bookbag onto his bed. "Hey," he greeted, glancing over.

Kai didn't trust himself to speak. He instead took a deep breath, sitting down at the edge of his bed, his hands still curled into tight fists. His short nails dug into his palms, and his jaw wouldn't unclench.

"Um...you wanna talk?"

"No."

Lee held his hands up in surrender. "Sorry, just making sure."

Kai softened, just a fraction, and then stood up. "I'm just gonna go for a walk. I'll be back later."

"Okay?" Lee looked at him. "Just… stay safe, alright?"

Kai thinly smiled. "No promises."

"Fair enough. Come back alive, at least?"

His throat tightened. "Yeah."

Lee was frowning when he closed the door. He couldn't claim to understand his roommate all the time, but Lee had thought they were getting better, and he knew Kai well enough to know when he was really upset—at least before he had time to gather up all his emotions and hide them behind a mask. So what had upset him, then? Surely a difficult assignment wouldn't have been enough to upset him like this. A fight with Jinora, maybe? Or… Lee looked over at his bed, and saw the yellowed letter lying there, next to another envelope. For a moment, he wasn't sure whether to touch it or not—it was common courtesy to respect someone's space, after all—but Kai was his friend, and if something was really troubling him…

He took the letter from Kai's desk before he could talk himself out of it, and started to read.

 _Kai,_

 _I'm afraid I'm not sending this letter under the happiest circumstances. Everyone's alright, I swear. No one's hurt or sick or anything like that, since I know that's your first thought. Yung's fine too. But I—the crew and I—we are worried about one thing. Or rather, someone. The captain… has grown more and more troublesome, in spending habits, in handing out punishments for small mistakes, in picking unnecessary fights. He made a bad business deal in Tong Gong but blamed Otaku for it and—you know how his temper can get out of hand, but… I'm worried that if someone doesn't stand up to him soon, he'll do something that can't be undone, most likely to one of us. You and I both know that at sixteen you're just as good as he is, and loads better than the rest of us, and I wouldn't be putting this on you if I didn't think there was any other way, but… when you come home for March Break…_

 _I want you to Challenge him._

Lee paused, unsure of why the 'c' would be capitalized, but certain that this was what had upset Kai so much. Maybe Jinora would have an idea of what the term meant, and entailed?

Only one way to find out.

###

It took Lee until after dinner to finally find Jinora, in the library with Shen Shen and Miki, while Pfannee was off with her boyfriend. He'd taken Jinora aside, knowing better to pull everyone into Kai's business, and he watched Jinora's expression as she read the letter.

"So…?" Lee watched her carefully as she glanced back up at the beginning of the letter.

"I've met Zaheer before," she said quietly. "He seemed...strict, but...Kai seemed to like him well enough. Zaheer even chipped in to get Kai a new sword, I…" Jinora looked back up at Lee. "He must be upset about having to take the captainship from Zaheer. I mean, what else could a challenge be? I guess Kai will state what the crew wants and have them rally behind him?"

"Then why would it matter what good of a fighter Kai is?"

"I don't know," Jinora admitted. "Do you have any idea of where he's gone?"

"He wouldn't say, and at this point I know better than to try and stop him."

Jinora pressed her lips together. "We should find him."

"You sure? He seemed to want to be left alone—"

"Believe me, he...can be stupid, when he's upset and alone. Have you checked the roof?"

Lee shook his head. "Figured I should find you first."

"Then we'll check there, and then the forest and the gym. He might've gone there to blow off steam."

"And then?"

"Then we'll check every place with something to fight within a 20-foot radius of the school."

"What are you two gabbing on about?" Shen Shen asked, coming over and smoothing down her frilly skirt. "I hope you're not gossiping without me."

Jinora sighed. "We… I think Kai may have gone missing."

" _Missing_? What? Why?"

Jinora shared a quick glance with Lee, then said, "It's...private?"

"Very well. I think we can still catch a carriage this late, come on." As Shen Shen strode over to get her books, she looked at Miki. "You coming?"

Miki let out a sigh, then quickly packed up her bag. "Let's go."

By the time the carriage had arrived, Jinora and Lee had checked the gym, the roof, and the place where Kai went to throw knives (usually marked by a circle of trees with crevices wedged into them) and found them all empty. The far eastern side of the curb, however, wasn't, with Miki, Shen Shen, as well as Pfannee and her brother waiting there. Li Wen was a tall, strapping boy, one year their senior, and had the same glossy hair as his younger sister.

"He couldn't have gotten far," Lee said, as Jinora's panic rose when they walked back to the school. "No matter how fast he is or how far he can go, he can't be too far from school grounds."

"What if he decided to go pick a fight?" she said worriedly, climbing into the carriage. "Yung says he does that sometimes, when he's really upset about something."

"If it's a fight he's looking for," said Miki grimly. "I know just where to go. It's a good thing you brought your brother, Fanny."

She and Pfannee shared a look. "I thought we might need another boy around, to go walking at night."

Li frowned. "You don't think he went—?"

"I think that's exactly where he went," Miki said.

"What?" Jinora's eyes were wide with worry. "Where?"

"Come on," Miki said, almost grim.

###

Sal's Fight House turned out to be a wide, dingy pub on a corner of a street with almost no street lamps, on the southeastern side of town, near the tip of Republic City's border. A few people were loitering outside, but all the windows were lit, and there was noise pouring out of every open window. It sounded a lot like cheering.

"You think the pirate's here?" Li Wen asked, as he paid for the carriage to wait along the curb for them.

"It's the most likely place," Jinora said, frowning slightly as she looked up at the building. "How did he even find this place?"

"I'm sure he grew up in places like this," said Miki. "It wouldn't have been too hard." She set her shoulders. "Well, are we going in?"

"Just say close to me and Li Wen," Lee said, and then they went inside.

There were maybe only two lights in the entire room, and Jinora hugged her arms to herself, glancing around uneasily as men and women alike leered at them, but most, Jinora noted, even the bartenders and waiters, were grouped around some wide, rectangular expanse of space, standing or sitting on chairs and tables around it.

She had to elbow and weave her way to the front, and saw that they were all gathered around a pit in the floor about six feet deep that somewhat resembled a dry swimming pool, mostly because of the metal ladders at either corner of it. As they drew closer, she saw two figures fighting in the middle, her stomach lurching when she realized that the dark stains on the pit floor were bloodstains.

And that one of the figures was Kai.

Her heart lurched as he received a solid blow to the face, blood spraying with the impact. His knuckles were already bloody, wrapped loosely with some kind of cloth, and he hurled a fist into his opponent's face, a taller, bulkier man who seemed to be a few years older. The man stumbled, and Kai was merciless, as he kneed the young man in the stomach and then shoved him to the ground, kicking him in the ribs for good measure. The man rolled, and stayed down long enough for the announcer to count down from three, and people on either side of the pit erupted into cheers.

A few people came down into the pit to help the fallen man up and out of the pit through the closest ladder, and Kai wiped the blood from underneath his nose. Jinora was stunned by his eyes, intense and almost feral looking.

"And now," the announcer continued, "after a seven match winning streak, who dares to step into the ring with our young new challenger?" Jinora's stomach was doing another flip when Lee handed her his coat, and she looked at him, confused.

"Lee?"

"I'm just gonna try to talk to him," he said.

"What? No, stop—"

Lee climbed down into the pit, and the crowd jeered. Bets were quickly exchanged on how quickly he would have his ass handed to him, a pretty boy like that.

Kai's eyes widened when he saw him. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same question. We've been looking for you all night."

"Is Jinora here?"

Lee almost wanted to laugh, if the situation hadn't been so absurd, and there hadn't been blood dripping down his friend's face. "Of course she's here, and she wants you to come back."

"Lee, get out of here, I'm not fighting you—"

"Good. Come home."

"How did you even know I was here, I—you can't just come after me every time I leave—"

"There's leaving to go take a walk, and leaving to go get the shit beat out of you."

"I can't go back."

"And why the hell not?"

"Hey," a man interrupted loudly, "are you two going to keep talking like little girls, or is there gonna be some blood here?" The crowd roared angrily behind him in approval.

"Get out of the ring, Lee," said Kai coldly, "and get Jinora out of here."

"Not without you."

"Hey!" The man growled, dropping into the ring, and giving both boys a shove. "This is a fighting ring, you whiny little bitches!" He turned on Lee. "If you're not here to fight, pretty boy, I'll hand your ass to you and throw you out the door."

"Leave him alone," Kai said, grabbing the man's shoulder to turn him away.

"What's the matter with you, boy? You don't wanna fight 'im all of a sudden?" the man hissed. "You going soft?"

"I won't fight him," said Kai. "But I'll fight you. Name your challenge, and let him go."

"No rules, double the winnings."

"Fine." Kai narrowed his eyes at Lee. "I'm going to tell you one last time: _get out of here_."

Lee set his jaw, then said, "We're not going without you."

"You idiot—"

"Now boy," the man said, and Lee watched as Kai turned to him, once Jinora had helped him out of the pit. "I hope you know challenging the owner of this joint was a stupid idea, but just to make sure it sinks it…" The man slipped out a knife from his belt.

Lee's jaw dropped, as Kai then produced his dagger, and said, "I do stupid things every day."

Jinora clutched Lee's arm so hard it hurt. "They're having a knife fight?" she whispered, eyes wide.

"Evidently," said Shen Shen, from her other side. "At the very least, this'll probably be the last fight of the night."

"At the—?! He could get _killed_ , why—"

"There was nothing I could do to get him out of there," Lee said. "All we can do is wait, and be prepared to get him to the nearest hospital, need be."

Jinora's eyes stung. "That idiot…"

"But he's a pirate," said Li Wen. "Doesn't he do this type of stuff all the time?"

"With his crew, at least he had someone to bail him out," said Jinora, watching with her hands clasped anxiously as the fight began, both Kai and the pub owner (whom she assumed was Sal) circling each other, before Sal moved to strike in a blur of silver.

Kai sidestepped, and elbowed the man hard in the jaw, hard enough to make a sickening crunch. Kai took the opening to push him to the ground, trying to pin him, when Sal tugged him down onto the floor, his head hitting the concrete hard. Jinora's heart stopped for a moment, temporary relief sinking in when she saw that Kai was still conscious. He still had his knife in his hand, and when Sal went to attack it again, he shoved it into the man's shoulder.

Jinora gasped. She'd always known Kai was good… but she hadn't know that he could be vicious.

Sal howled in pain, a spurt of blood flowing as he staggered backwards, and Kai advanced like a predator, wrenching his dagger out of his shoulder. Sal glared at him, pressing one hand to his shoulder, his fingers coming away sticky with blood, and then charged at him with his own knife, holding it straight towards Kai's throat.

Kai sidestepped at the last minute, the knife slashing into his upper arm before Sal slammed into the wall. Kai kicked him in the back of the knees, ignoring the blood now dripping down his arm as he pressed the tip of his dagger to Sal's side. Kai said something, although Jinora couldn't hear what—judging from the way his lips moved, he'd said something along the lines of "Give up?"—and Sal nodded, and Kai released him.

Kai climbed out of the pit as the crowd cheered, taking a large bag of money from one of the men standing at the side, before wiping at the blood dripping from his nose.

He limped his way through the crowd, ignoring any cheers or congratulations, and when a very drunk man made a feeble attempt to swipe away the bag of money, Kai sent him spinning into the closest table, where he banged his head and knocked himself out cold. He walked over to Jinora and Lee, the former running towards him, unsure of whether or not to hug him.

"Let's go," Kai said gruffly, and Jinora's eyes stung as she nodded, nodding to the others to get the carriage ready outside. She watched as he ripped off a piece of his shirt, and then wrapped it around the cut in his arm deftly with one hand, tying the knot firmly before they stepped out onto the cold night street.

Finally, she burst, " _You are such an idiot!_ " with the carriage door still ajar, hanging out above the grimy pavement.

Kai looked at her, and sighed. "Do we really have to do this right now?"

"Yes, right now, you—you stupid selfish son of a bitch!"

"Jin—"

"Don't you _Jin_ me, you—I'm talking now. That was so _stupid_ , what the hell were you thinking—"

"It was fine—"

"No it wasn't! You—There were so many other things you could have done! Practice in the gym! Throw your knife in the forest! Talk to me or Lee! But no, you had to go run off in the middle of the night to go get yourself stabbed! You could have _died_ , Kai! Did you even think at all what that would do to the people who love you? To Yung? _To me_?"

"And maybe all of us would be better off if I was dead!" he snapped at her, his eyes bright.

Jinora's bottom lip trembled, and she shoved him in the chest. "How can you even say that?!"

"Because I don't deserve to be alive! That's why!"

"You don't—"

"You don't know _anything_ about me!"

"You won't _let_ me! Every time I try, every time I even think we're getting closer you pull away and I'm trying so hard and you have no idea how much I'd give up just to get you to stop destroying yourself like this, you selfish asshole—"

"You think you're the one having a difficult time? My whole life fucking flipped upside down and I never wanted any of it! Certainly not a nosy spoiled rich girl!"

"And I never wanted a stubborn, idiotic selfish pirate in my life either! I wish you had never taken that stupid bullet!"

"Um, guys?"

They both rounded on Lee, eyes spitting fire. " _What_?" Jinora demanded tersely.

"Maybe we should get in the carriage now? And go back to school?" he suggested, voice wobbling, but he didn't turn and run away.

"Sure, if Kai doesn't go running off again—"

"Jinora, stop—look, let's just go home, okay? Let's just go home," Lee almost begged. "Both of you. Please?"

"Fine," she ground out, and climbed into the carriage.

Shen Shen didn't pity Miki and Lee, having to be the two in between the quarreling friends. They both managed to spit out passive-aggressive comments the entire ride back, between long periods of uncomfortable silence.

It was even worse when they finally arrived back at the school half past one o'clock in the morning, and as the others departed, yawning and ready for bed, Lee stood between Kai and Jinora, who were seemingly rooted to the spot as they glared at each other, and he wasn't sure which room they would end up going to to talk.

Finally, Kai broke the silence, and said, "How did you find out where I was?" The moonlight cast shadows over his face.

"Uh…" Lee's voice cracked, and he sent a warning look to Jinora.

"We read the letter on your desk," she said immediately. "From Lefty."

"You—"

"You had been gone for hours, we were worried. Against our better judgment, clearly."

"You read my mail? Why would you do that?"

"Because you were clearly really upset about something," Lee said. "And I don't know, we just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"You know," said Jinora tersely, "the way _friends_ do?"

"I don't need you both snooping around in my business!"

"So you're upset about taking the captainship from Zaheer! So what? That doesn't mean you can just run off—it doesn't even mean you have to listen to Lefty or—"

Kai cut her off, tightened anger furled under his voice. "You don't understand."

"Then make us understand. Just stop shutting us out!"

Kai turned away, unable to look at her. "You're not going to like it."

"Because you're going to leave me to become captain?" she said, her voice far less sharp. "You're right, I don't like it. But at least I know you'll have the crew to back you up instead of doing stupid things like this alone."

"It's not just a challenge for the captainship. A _Challenge_ , in pirate law…" His voice broke. "Is a fight to the death."

Jinora's angry expression shattered. "What?"

"Usually, a crew can overthrow their captain without much fuss. But Zaheer is… beyond skilled, and if they tried to, without me, they… not all, but maybe half of them would die, if he reacted badly. And he most likely will. So I have to do it. If he accepts my Challenge, I have to kill him, before he kills me." Kai let out a deep breath. "But I don't know if I can do it."

"Kai…"

"I don't know what to do," he said, his voice cracking. Tears stung at his eyes. "I can't… Zaheer took me in when I was _nothing_ and maybe he didn't want to but he still let me stay. When I was nothing but a fucking useless street rat. He helped me become good at something, even if he was an asshole about it sometimes, I—I can't kill him, I don't want to be captain, I just want… I just want everything to _stop_." A tear leaked out, and he furiously wiped it off his bruised cheek like it had personally offended him.

"Can...can you tell them no?" Jinora asked feebly. "I know the crew won't like it—"

"No, I can't just leave them behind, I…" He sucked in a deep breath, trying to stifle the panic rising in his chest. "I can't let my crew die for me either, I can't let anyone else die for me."

"But I can't let you die," Jinora said, her voice small and broken.

Kai looked at her sadly. "My world wasn't made for you."

Jinora looked back at him, and then flung her arms around him. He caught her immediately, hugging her tight as she buried her face in his chest, even if it smelt like sweat and blood and beer. Her fingers curled into his shirt.

"Don't scare me like that," she mumbled. "Please. I was so worried."

"I'm sorry. I—I had to blow off steam, or—"

"Then spar with me, or do target practice with the trees again, just—don't make me lose you."

"I thought I was gonna lose my mind." Kai lifted his tender gaze from her, and then looked at Lee. "Thank you for coming to get me."

Lee gave him a small nod. "Thanks for coming back to us."

"One of these days I'll teach you how to fight properly, so you can actually survive if you ever step into a fight ring again."

He let out a quiet snort. "Hopefully not anytime soon. But if it'll keep you busy and out of an actual fighting ring, I'm more than happy to learn."

Jinora pulled away slightly, wiping at her face with a slight smile. "That's a great idea, actually, but…" her eyes fell to Kai's shoulder. "I have a first aid kit my room. We should go get you patched up."

Lee looked between them, and nodded. "I'll go make sure no one's noticed we snuck out." He clapped Kai lightly on his uninjured shoulder when he passed him. "I'll be our room when—if you feel like coming back tonight."

"Thanks. I'll definitely be back in the morning, don't worry."

Lee smiled a little. "Good. It's nice, having a roommate I'm friends with."

"Don't go soft on me now, Sono." Kai gave him an appreciative nod as Lee left, going back into the school, and Kai looked back at Jinora as the carriage slowly drifted away. The early March air, a cool wind, gathered up the tips of her hair, and her name was suddenly heavy in his mouth. "Jinora."

Her fingers were still curled into his shirt. "Yes?"

"I didn't mean a word of what I said back there. When we were fighting."

"I didn't either," she said. "The parts about you being stupid, or selfish, or… You're the most selfless person I know. But I meant what I said about not wanting to lose you, about...about how much it would hurt, if anything happened to you."

He took her face in his hands, and she leaned into his touch. "When Sono dropped into the ring, and I realized that meant you were there too… I asked him to get you out of there. I felt like I couldn't breathe."

"How do you think I felt, seeing you in there? I was so scared I would have to rush you to a hospital or something, I…" She turned into his palm, pressing a kiss to the inside of it, and his breath caught in his throat.

"I don't know if I'll have to fight Zaheer," he said quietly. "But if I do, I will do whatever it takes to come back to you afterwards." He leaned forward, his brow brushing hers. "I promise."

"And...if you become captain?"

"Then I'll have a reason to keep coming back to Republic City." His thumb stroked her cheek. "I'll write you letters."

"Come back as often as you can, if you go." She closed her eyes. "But you _will_ win, if you have to fight." She smiled slightly. "And someday, I want to go with you, even if it's only for a little while."

"Even if I become Captain," he said, "and if the gods answer my prayers I won't have to be, but if I do… I'll stick around until graduation. I mean, the gods must be listening at least a little, right?" He smiled for the first time all night. "They brought me to you."

She sniffled, her smile growing. "And they'll keep you here with me. And if you have to go, it'll never be for long." She placed her hands over his, running her thumbs along his knuckles and then unwinding the white cloth smattered with blood from them, kissing his skin underneath.

"Your lips are cold," he murmured, and she looked up at him, biting down on her bottom lip, like he really needed any more of his attention drawn to them.

She reached up and ran her finger along his split bottom lip. "So are yours." She took a deep breath, trying to get her head on straight. "You—we should, um, get some ice on that. I think there are some ice packs in the kitchen."

Kai's hands slowly dropped from her face. "Yeah. Good idea," he said faintly, almost with disappointment. "Then I can patch up my shoulder."

"Come on. We can make hot chocolate while we patch you up."

###

Some part of Jinora's brain immediately short circuited once they were in her room (void of Shen Shen, who had probably gone to room with the girls for the night), and Kai started taking off his shirt. And then she remembered he was bleeding, and needed ice, and bandages, and that she should put down their mugs of hot chocolate before she dropped them.

She placed her mug on her desk, then took his and set it down next to hers, before taking some bandages out of a drawer. "Let me go back and get the ice," she said hurriedly.

"Thanks," he said, taking some of the bandages in his hand, and undoing the knot of cloth he currently had wrapped around the small wound. "D'you mind if I use the sink? I kinda need to clean this a bit first…"

"Go ahead," she said. She went to the kitchens while Kai retreated into the bathroom, her heart pounding as she rummaged through the fridge for a few ice packs. She carried them back over to her room, where Kai was sitting on the edge of her bed, trying to bandage up a cut on one of his arms, pinching the edge of the bandage between his teeth.

"Here," she said, handing him a pack of ice as she sat down next to him. "Let me." He held an ice pack to his nose, as Jinora reached over and finished tying his bandages for him. "How does that feel?"

"You can wrap them a little tighter," he said. "I'll tell you if it's too tight, but...you're doing fine." Jinora gave the knot a sharp tug, before looking to him for approval, and he nodded. "Thanks, Jin."

"Don't make me have to do this again any time soon," she said softly, but not angrily.

"I won't." He studied her. "You didn't get roughed up by anyone, did you?" he checked.

"No one touched me, other than just the normal jostling of the crowd. I'm fine." Her eyes dropped to his chest, and she saw bruises blooming near his ribs, and reached out to lay her fingers gently across them. "Thank God you're okay."

He placed his hand over hers, her fingers now warm under his touch. "Sometimes pain is a good thing. It keeps me focused."

She threw him a dry stare. "Focused on what?"

"On you."

Heat rushed to her cheeks, and she glanced away, pressing an ice pack to one of his bigger bruises. "Kai…"

"I'm sorry I kissed you. Even if I didn't mean to." His fingers fumbled against her cheek for a moment, as he tucked loose strands of her hair behind her ear.

Her heart pounded madly against her ribcage. "Don't be sorry," she said quietly. "I'm...glad it was you."

Kai blinked. "Was… was that your first?"

She smiled slightly. "Yes.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry—"

Jinora laughed softly. "Don't be. It wasn't bad."

He looked miserable, now. "It wasn't good. That's not what a first kiss is supposed to be like at all."

She smiled. "Who was your first kiss, then?"

"A girl named Jeni from Jietou. She was cute. I was fourteen."

"You liked her?"

"At the time. She was a vendor at the marketplace and she was nice."

"Do you still like her?"

Kai laughed, shaking his head. "It's been years, now. I hope she's doing well, I haven't seen her since, but that's as far as that goes. Why, worried?"

"No." She blushed when he kept that easy smile on his face. "Maybe a little—what, why are you looking at me like that?"

"Because you're beautiful."

Jinora frowned slightly, turning away. "You must have hit your head awfully hard on the floor."

"What, you already know I think you're beautiful."

"Yes, but that's in a friend context, not a—" Her voice threatened to give out on her, her throat dry, but she ploughed ahead anyway. "Not the way you're acting now."

"How am I acting?"

"Like…"

"Like?"

"Like…" Jinora sighed. "Like you _like_ me."

"I think I'm a little past like, actually."

Heat flooded to her face. "Kai—"

"You don't have to do anything about it, if you don't want to. I just thought you should know. Since, uh, who knows what'll happen in a couple of weeks."

"Nothing's going to happen to you—"

"Still. Just in case." He rubbed the back of his neck, and she watched the scar on his shoulder flex, from the bullet that had ripped it apart so long ago.

"I meant what I said," she murmured. "About the bullet. I wish you hadn't had to be hurt for us to meet."

He gave her a small smile. "I'd do it a thousand times over."

"I know." Slowly, she reached over and took his hand, grasping at his fingers, her voice heavy. "When it happened, I was horrified. There was blood and you were on the floor, and someone called for an ambulance, and I didn't even know you then… I bent down to check for your pulse while we were waiting, and you were still warm." She blinked rapidly, tears lining her eyes. "Your pulse was steady, but… I was so scared it was going to fade out right underneath my fingertips."

Kai took her hand, and guided it up to his neck, laying her fingers over his pulse. A strong, steady beat thrummed beneath her fingertips. "I'm here," he said quietly. "I will never, ever leave you. Not really. Not permanently. I promise."

Jinora looked at him with bright, wide eyes, before taking his face in her hands and pressing her mouth to his. Kai tangled one hand in her hair, kissing her back softly, carefully, now that he was aware that this was her first _real_ kiss; their brief brush of lips in the gardens hardly counted. She slowly looped her arms around his neck, tugging him closer, her body sighing against his. His mouth was soft and warm, and she was glad, at the very least, that he knew what he was doing even if she didn't, disappointed when he finally pulled away, resting his forehead against hers.

"We should get some sleep," he croaked out.

"Yeah," she said softly, her eyes lingering on his lips before looking back into his eyes, green and deep and dazzling.

He leaned forward and kissed her again, far more briefly and even more softly. "We'll still both be here in the morning. C'mon. Let's get some sleep."

"Alright." Her hand dropped down to his, and she wove their fingers together as she climbed into bed, pulling him in with her. He pulled the covers up over them, and she drew closer to him, resting on her side, her head against his shoulder. He wrapped an arm around her waist as she closed her eyes.

"Goodnight, Jinora," he murmured.

"Goodnight, Kai."


	10. Captain

CHAPTER TEN: Captain

The sun was still just beginning to rise when Kai woke up, the sky still a deep blue through the cracks in the window blinds. It took a second for him to remember where he was, when he saw a pink poster on the wall—and why he felt so sore, despite having something warm and soft nestled against his side. Jinora, the tips of her dark hair curling around her mouth, small and pink, and he flushed when he remembered too, how warm her lips had been against his.

He gently brushed a loose strand of hair from her forehead, careful not to wake her. It was almost impossible to believe that they'd been fighting just hours ago, when she was so close now.

She'd kissed him. She had _kissed_ him.

His heart pounded a little faster as he replayed the kiss in his head, the hesitant but urgent movement of her lips. Somehow, it had been one of the most terrifying and happiest moments of his life.

And when she woke up...what would change, now that she had kissed him? Now that he had all but confessed to...to loving her.

 _I think I'm a little past like, actually._

God he was an idiot, an emotionally impulsive idiot. He most likely had a duel with Zaheer in a week, when they went back to Air Temple Island on Friday. This wasn't the time to be kissing girls, much less his best friend… Maybe that was exactly why he'd let himself get close enough so she could.

"K-Kai?"

He froze at the sound of her voice, glancing down carefully as she looked up at him with those big brown eyes. His heart melted a little. "Yeah?"

"How are you feeling?" She reached out, gently running her fingers over a bruise on his cheek.

He couldn't help leaning into her touch. "I'm fine," he said softly, his breath catching in his throat when she slowly took her hand away. She glanced away, pink dusting her cheeks, and the tips of his ears turned red despite himself, knowing they were both thinking about the same thing.

He opened his mouth to speak the same time she did—although what he was going to say, he had no idea—and they both hastily closed their mouths, stammering.

"So, um—" he managed eloquently.

Jinora tucked her hair behind her ears, still blushing. "Yeah—do you—do you want to—get breakfast?"

He blinked. "Oh. Um, sure. Are you hungry?"

"A little. I think they're serving chocolate chip pancakes today."

Kai smiled slightly, finding that he wasn't really that hungry, even for chocolate chip pancakes. Not when she was so close. "Jin?"

"Hmm?"

"I won't bite unless you want me to."

Her blush deepened, but he saw some of the tenseness seep out of her shoulders. "Oh." She was silent for a moment, before she said, "Kai?"

"Hmm?"

"I want you to."

A smile played along his lips as he leaned over, and gently brushed his lips across hers. Her lips slipped against his, and she pressed her mouth more firmly to his, her fingers tangling in his hair. He nipped gently at her bottom lip and she let out a soft sigh, drawing closer to him as he reached up and cupped the side of her face.

It was almost a little hard to kiss her, with how much she was threatening to smile and how much he wanted to grin right back at her, against her soft warm lips.

At least one good thing had come out of last night's disaster, and this time when he did pull away from her lips, he let his nose bump into hers as he grinned at her.

"Now we can go to breakfast?" he asked.

"Alright," she said, a little giggle escaping her lips. She was opening her bedroom door when she paused, her smile faltering. "Kai. What are we going to tell the others?"

"You mean the girls and Lee?"

"And our families. I mean, not that my family will mind, but—"

"I know what you mean." His brow furrowed. "I don't know. Maybe we don't tell anyone, until we figure out what we… what this is?" He rubbed the back of his neck. "And I still have to challenge Zaheer…"

"Then...we'll figure it out after you come back. Okay?"

He gave her a small smile. "Okay."

If only everything could be this simple.

###

The week leading up to March Break went by far too quickly and far too slowly. On one hand, he just wanted to have the challenge over with; to know if he'd live or die, to know the fate of his crew, to know if he'd be strong enough to survive and come back to what—or rather, who—would be waiting for him, as his bruises from the fighting ring faded. On the other, he never wanted the week to end, to be able to live in this small window of possibility for forever. To spend an eternity of nights sitting in the library with Jinora, studying, and stealing kisses in between textbook pages.

But Friday came anyway.

"You're going to be okay," Jinora told him, as their carriage back home trundled away from the school.

He tapped his fingers over his knee. He'd been so shaken up he'd even hugged Lee goodbye on the doorstep of the school. "I know."

"And we'll have a lot to look forward to, when you come back." She squeezed his hand gently, laying his fingers flat and still over his knee.

His voice steadied. "I know that too, Jin."

She placed her free hand on the far side of his face, and turned him towards her. "Good." He smiled slightly, leaning in to give her a soft kiss. They pulled away just as quickly, sharing a soft smile before Jinora laid her head back on his shoulder.

Despite all his time at sea, Kai wasn't sure he'd ever fully appreciated the calm before the storm.

If only he'd known it was about to hit.

###

Kai knew the minute he set foot on Air Temple Island that something was wrong, as he and Jinora disembarked from the carriage, with the Gyatso family waiting and servants unloading their luggage. It wasn't just that none of the crew were there, the way they should have been, or Yung at the very least, even though he'd seen the Waterbender moored at the south dockings of the Island. Something was twisted inside him, making the hair on the back of his neck stand on end, and he'd never ignored his instincts before.

Still, he tried to smile when Pema swept him up into a warm hug. "Unbelievable," she said, "the way you two keep growing." Did she know what he was expected to do now that he was home?

"It's good to see you," Kai said, trying for a smile. "When did the Waterbender dock?"

"A few days ago. They're still settling in, I believe. Rohan's getting out of school in few hours, and Ikki and Meelo are arriving tomorrow morning."

Kai swallowed. "I see."

"Kai," Tenzin said, once he had released his daughter, and looked at him carefully, "is everything alright?"

"Yeah," Kai said quickly. He forced his smile to be something genuine, to probably anyone but Yung and Jinora. "I just need to see Yung, about something, that's all. School forms, I think, since he's my guardian," he lied easily.

"If you'd like, I can sign—"

"I'd rather he do it, since I'm listed under his name, but thank you." Kai glanced back at the ship. "Is it alright if I go? I'll…" He looked at Jinora, his heart sinking, as if trying to root him to the spot, safe at the Gyatso estate. "I'll try to be back before dinner."

"Nonsense, there's no reason we can't walk you down," said Pema. "We haven't seen Yung since winter break, and I still need Daw's fudge-cookie recipe."

Kai couldn't think of any reason why they shouldn't walk down, and swallowed again. "Alright."

Maybe the Challenge wouldn't have to take place now, and maybe the Gyatsos wouldn't have to know about it until after Kai had long sailed off with the rest of the crew, either from a letter informing them of his death or his return, in time for the last stretch of school if he was lucky.

Hell, he'd be lucky to come back at all.

Lefty and Yung were waiting for him on the dock, before the ramp, and Yung reached Kai first, his pudgy face torn up in worry. "Kai, you don't have to do this—" He placed his hands on his boy's shoulders, as though to keep him shielded and in place.

"I'm not going to, if I don't have to," Kai said, but Yung didn't let go.

"Lefty never should have asked you," he said, shooting a furious glare over his shoulder at the larger men. "The crew didn't want to put this on your shoulders—"

"If he felt the need to write me, it was for a reason," Kai said. He managed a small, tight smile. "We'll be okay, Yung."

Yung looked at him for a long time, then hugged him again.

"Kai, what is going on?" Pema said, looking between them and Lefty.

"Pirate law," the boy replied, pulling away. "Let's go find out if we have to use it after all."

"Pirate law?" Tenzin asked, following quickly as Kai, Yung, and Lefty strode towards the center of the deck. "What does that—"

"If anything happens, run back to the estate," Kai said. "Lock the doors, either the ship will leave or you'll see me coming back through the window."

"I don't understand—"

"Kid, if this goes south, we're not just gonna leave," said Lefty. "We'll mutiny too—this is just a way to try and minimize the bloodshed—"

"What _bloodshed_?" Pema demanded, growing stern and anxious with every passing second.

"You have my sword?" Kai checked, even if his stomach squirmed at the thought of using what had technically been a gift from Zaheer to strike him down.

"I brought it up this morning, when he wasn't looking, it's in my sheath now," Yung said, drawing it out and passing it to Kai. They switched swords, the golden hilt gleaming against the brown leather of Kai's sheath.

"Kai—" Pema took his shoulder, and the only reason he didn't push her away was because she was _Pema_. "Kai, what's happening? Just tell us—"

"Go back to the mansion, please," Kai pleaded. "Jinora—"

"They can stay if they want to," Lefty said gruffly. "You know the law. They won't get hurt."

"Kai has to challenge Zaheer for captainship," Jinora said, and Kai shot her a look as Pema gasped and Tenzin whitened.

"Kai," Pema said softly, "you don't have to—"

"Yes I do," he said, more sharply than he meant to. "If—if Zaheer isn't willing to work this out peacefully, anyway." He looked at Jinora for a long time, every line and curve of her features leaving him breathless. He wondered if he really hadn't noticed, or fully appreciated, how beautiful she really was until now. "You don't have to stay for this."

"We're not leaving you," Jinora said firmly.

Kai barely resisted the urge to hold her tight and kiss her, instead giving her a nod. "If it all goes wrong, run."

"But it won't."

He smiled slightly. "Good to know you're carrying enough hope for the both of us." He turned back, his stomach dropping when he saw Zaheer only a few feet away, as though waiting for him. The rest of the crew wasn't far behind, apprehension written all over their faces.

"I was wondering if you'd be stupid enough to show your face around here," Zaheer sneered, scarred arms crossed over his barrel chest.

"Captain," Kai said, coming up the ramp. "I don't—I don't want to fight you."

"Of course you don't," he snorted. "You're not stupid enough to think you'll win this fight, unlike the rest of the crew."

"But I will if I have to," Kai said, injecting a little confidence into his voice. "This doesn't have to end badly, Zaheer. Not unless you make it."

" _I made you what you are_!"

"You've lost the crew's trust! They're terrified of you, and for good reason! Either step down and make this easier on all of us, or…" Kai gripped the hilt of his sword. "Or I'll make you."

Zaheer narrowed his eyes. "Is that a Challenge, boy?"

Kai swallowed, and drew his sword properly. "I guess it is."

Zaheer pulled out his sword, the reflection dulled from wear and bloodstains. "As the law states, you have three minutes to say your final words, to anyone who needs to hear them."

Yung was there before Kai could even blink. "Kid you can still back down," he whispered furiously, eyes bright with unshed tears, as he took Kai's shoulders in his hands. "It doesn't have to be just you. All of us can mutiny—"

"Then all of you would get hurt," Kai said stiffly. "I know what I'm doing, Yung."

"Kai—"

"I love you, Yung," he managed in a small croak. "Now let me go." Yung slowly released him.

Lefty was next, and Kai held his arm out for a handshake when the much larger pirate pulled him into a bone-crushing hug. "I know you can do this," Lefty told him. "I wouldn't have sent that letter if I didn't know that."

He squeezed Kai's shoulders, and the boy managed to smile up at him. "I know, Akash." He swallowed. "If—if I don't—"

"You're gonna make it, kid. Just make sure you've kicked his ass well enough when you do."

Kai almost smiled, and then lowered his voice. "Just take care of Yung, okay? Promise me."

Lefty's expression fell, but he nodded. "I promise."

Kai was making his way over to Jinora, and her parents, when he caught sight of Zaheer, standing on his own and scowling, the crew shrinking away from him, and a pang of sadness hit him. The law stated that both fighters had three minutes to say goodbye to their loved ones—except Zaheer didn't have anyone to say goodbye to. Not anymore. He'd lived and fought on this ship for almost twenty years and slowly but surely his men had all turned their backs on him. It was hardly the end he deserved.

All those thoughts fell away when he looked at Jinora, however. "Jin," he started, and then licked his lips, because his throat was unbearably dry and there was so much he wanted to say but he didn't know how to say any of it.

Worst of all, she was crying.

"Just don't do anything stupid," she managed, wiping at her eyes. "More than you already have, okay?"

"Too late," Kai said, trying to manage a smile.

"You better win."

"If I don't get to tell you what to do, how come you get to tell me?" he teased.

"Because I'm always right."

"Oh yeah?" He tilted his head. "Because—"

She kissed him, for a few moments, long enough for him to close his eyes and savour the feeling of her lips against his, and he didn't even care that this was in front of _everyone_ , before she slowly pulled away. "You're going to win," she said, far more steadily than her shaking lips had felt, "okay?"

His lips twitched upwards. "Okay." A blush crept up the back of his neck as he tore his gaze away from her, and turned to her parents. "I, um…"

"I don't understand how any law can justify a duel with a child," Tenzin said, stroking his beard.

It was so ridiculous that Kai almost grinned. "Pirates are considered of age when we turn sixteen, sir."

"That's still too young to…" Tenzin took a breath, and Pema pulled Kai into a tight embrace.

"I'll have all your favourite dishes made when you get back," she whispered into his ear, and Kai wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry.

"Thanks, Pema," he mumbled, looking back at Tenzin when Pema pulled away.

"Good luck, son," Tenzin said, giving Kai's shoulder a gentle squeeze.

For a terrible moment, Kai felt his eyes sting, and then wiped under his nose in an effort to compose himself. "Thank you, sir."

"Your three minutes is up, boy."

Kai stiffened, then turned back to Zaheer, walking towards him slowly as he drew his sword. It felt heavier, now, almost as heavy as his heart. "We fight according to the law?" he checked.

Zaheer drew his own sword, and the crew made sure to form a wide ring around them, to give them space. "According to the law," he confirmed.

There was a wordless countdown in their head, and then Kai lunged forward, mostly because he couldn't bear the waiting game in something like this, and if there was anything good about this duel, it was that there was no more room for waiting, as he blocked strike after strike, his sword clashing with Zaheer's. Duelling someone that you had spent hours with was proving to be as much of a challenge as Kai expected, as adrenaline and nerves made a tight, anxious bundle in his chest, because he knew that he had learned everything he knew from Zaheer, but Zaheer also hadn't taught him everything _he_ knew. And Kai was fairly certain that was the fact that was going to get him killed, even if he grit his teeth, squared his shoulders, and seized a half successful feint to try and land a blow.

Try being the operative word. He missed by a few centimeters, which would have been pretty good in a spar but was awful in an actual fight—because he should have been better than this, and he could almost hear Zaheer's voice in his head telling him the exact same thing, even as the man across from him remained perfectly silent, features drawn up in rage and something else that Kai didn't have time to identify.

He let out a cry of pain as Zaheer's sword slashed against his upper arm, his blood hot against his skin and sticking to his sleeve as it spilled out. But then he swallowed it back with a hiss. It would be a new scar, that was all. It was nothing. He kept the hand that wanted to clamp over the wound steady at his side, shifting out of the way of Zaheer's next strike.

He needed to draw blood, and he needed to do it soon. Maybe that would be enough for them to call a truce. It was a rare occurrence in duels, but it happened. There was nothing wrong in hoping for it, was there?

Kai nearly lost his balance, avoiding a hard swing of Zaheer's sword, and realized that it was wrong, because he was losing focus over it. There was no room for hope, it seemed; only desperation, to live, to survive, to come out standing. If not for himself, then for the people who would mourn him. Jinora would cry, and Yung—he couldn't even stand the thought of what his death would do to Yung.

So Kai tucked in his elbows, slipped out his dagger, and shoved it into Zaheer's side when the captain was more distracted with his sword, in and out and slick with blood. Red dripped down the blade, onto the hilt and over his fingers. Zaheer faltered for a very short moment, but it was just enough of an opening for Kai to slash at his leg.

Long enough for his gaze to falter, and not notice the way Zaheer's sword was coming back around. Kai swerved to avoid it, putting his back to Zaheer for a moment—and then Zaheer's blade ripped his back open, up his spine, between his shoulder blades, and it felt like he couldn't _breathe_ as he staggered forwards, legs weak. The only consolation was that he had hardly screamed.

"And that," Zaheer spit, leering, "is why you'll never be anything but a worthless street rat. You would be nothing without me, and everyone here knows it."

There was something warm and wet dripping down his back, and as he tried to straighten up, Zaheer smacked him across the back of his head, sending him down to the deck this time. A hard kick to the ribs made his hand slip around his sword hilt.

If he died, he just hoped Jinora would look away. That she wouldn't have to watch him bleed out on the deck.

He was able to regain his grip on his sword, although his footing was still unbalanced. He slashed blindly, trying to stay light on his feet enough to avoid any more blows, but he knew he wasn't going to win. He was bleeding and unfocused, and if anything, Zaheer was just toying with him now.

But… that did make the captain cocky, and Kai refused to go down without a bit more of a fight. He'd use his smaller size against him. He rolled out of the way as Zaheer's sword came down on him, and almost smiled. Zaheer was slower, less precise.

Even if Kai had to lose, at least he could make sure Zaheer came down with him. Yung could take captainship. The crew could be okay.

He twisted his wrist, and his sword dug into Zaheer's side, and Kai pushed it in further, even as his own legs wavered. Zaheer's cry was distant in Kai's ears, as if he was listening through a wall. He wrenched his sword out, and then set it against Zaheer's throat when the larger man fell to his knees.

For a long, sickening moment, his eyes leveled with Zaheer's, wild and angry and a little sad. "Finish it," Zaheer said, a thin line of blood lining his throat as he swallowed.

Kai slowly tilted his sword away, breathing hard through his nose. There was blood in his mouth. "I'm letting you live," he managed, "so my debt is repaid. But this is no longer your ship, and this is no longer your crew. Get out. Leave. And if you ever come back, I won't be as merciful."

He removed his sword from Zaheer's throat, gripping his sword tightly as he watched him get up, staggered to his feet, and something Kai couldn't describe—sadness? Anger?—flickered across his face, before he boarded the nearest lifeboat attached to the ship's railings. Appa and Lefty went to go handle the ropes at the same time Kai felt his legs give out on him.

The world seemed to blur around him, and voices swirled like a thick cream, smooth and distant and lovely. He looked up, and saw Jinora's eyes, brown and bright and rimmed with red, and he couldn't help but smile.

If this was the last thing he had to see, someone so beautiful and good, then maybe dying wouldn't be all that bad.

###

"I need to see him—"

"Jinora, Longshot's with him now, and doing everything he can—the wound shouldn't be too deep—"

"But—"

"You'd only be a distraction," Yung said firmly, placing his hands on her shoulders. "Don't you think I want to be in there too?"

Fresh tears burned in Jinora's eyes, but she didn't push it any further. "Fine," she mumbled.

"Daw's preparing some tea in the kitchens. You should go there, spend some time with your parents, and the rest of the crew."

"Then you should come too."

"I will." He gave her shoulders a reassuring squeeze, and then released her. "C'mon. It's gonna be a long day."

They both walked down to the mess hall, where a few pots of tea and several plates of cookies were waiting for them, though the cookies were barely touched. Jinora understood why, as she sat down next to Yung and took a cookie, only able to nibble at it before taking a small sip of tea. It was hard to be hungry, when waiting to hear if someone you loved had lived or died.

The way he'd smiled at her before collapsing in her arms, drenched in his own blood, replayed in her head over and over, and she shut her eyes tightly, trying not to let the image grow any more clear.

Her father kept muttering about barbaric laws under his breath, and her mother looked like she didn't quite know what to do. The crew was far more relaxed—Jinora supposed they were more used to having their loved ones sustain life threatening injuries—but they were all still nervous, which didn't really help her own pit of nerves, tight in her chest.

She took another sip of tea, the hot liquid singing her tongue and throat as it went down. At least she could still feel something other than numb dread.

It felt far longer than a few hours to begin with when Longshot finally emerged in the doorway, weary but grinning. "Our boy is going to be just fine," he announced, and Jinora very nearly burst into tears as relief washed over her.

"Can we see him?"

"He's still out of it," Longshot said, "resting, to sleep off pain, and I need to go triple check his wound for infection—"

"So, soon?" Yung inferred.

"Soon," the medic confirmed. "Just not right now."

"That's okay," Jinora said, her cheeks heating up. Maybe she'd been a little too obviously eager. "I can wait." She folded her hands in her lap.

"I'll start on dinner, then," Daw said, beaming. "Should I make our new captain's favourite?"

"Might as well," Yung clapped him on the shoulder. He reached down and raised his teacup. "To our new captain."

The rest of the crew raised their cups and tankards, and for a moment Jinora wondered if she should do the same, before they echoed Yung's sentiment. "To Captain Kai." Quiet but happy conversation broke out, now that it was sinking in that Zaheer was gone and Kai was okay, as Longshot made his way over to Yung.

"There is something odd, though," the medic said in a hushed voice, and Jinora wouldn't have been able to hear it if she hadn't been sitting right beside him. "It seems that there are bruises over his ribs that weren't sustained in his fight with Zaheer, but instead a week ago or so."

Yung's brow furrowed, and Jinora busied herself with her tea. "That doesn't make any sense," Yung said slowly, and she silently cursed when he looked at her. "Jinora, do you know of any reasons why Kai might have gotten into a fight this past week?"

"No," she lied. "I know he was upset when he got the letter about Zaheer, but…" she shrugged.

Yung narrowed his eyes. "Jinora."

"He… may have snuck out to the nearest fighting ring to blow off steam. And I may have followed him."

"You did what?" Tenzin turned around to look at her, arching his eyebrows.

"I didn't get involved, I just...wanted to make sure he was okay, none of us knew where he was. And I wasn't alone, I had Lee and the girls and Pfannee's big brother with us."

"Jinora, you all could have gotten seriously hurt."

"He could have, too. If we hadn't been there…" Jinora stared into her half-empty mug.

Yung crossed his arms over his chest. "Well he is getting a talking to when he wakes up. And after a meal. _I've told him_ to stay away from those fighting rings. He used to go to them all the time when he was younger… but usually he'd have Appa or Imaru with him, to make sure his opponents couldn't gang up on him after he won all their gold."

Lefty clapped Yung on the shoulder, as Longshot left to go back to the ship's small infirmary. "Relax, Yung. Kai's fine, and well, you can't exactly ground him once he's captain, now can you?"

"I can try," Yung grumbled. It almost got a smile out of Jinora.

"When he's feeling better, are… Where will he stay?" Pema asked, and Jinora knew she was asking if he could stay at the estate a little longer. "Will he have to take captainship so soon?"

"We can stay here for a few days," Yung said. "And then we might need to sail for a bit, since spring is a very busy trading time for us. I expect Kai will want to assert his new captainship, continue a fearsome enough reputation to keep his safe—new captains are typically seen as weaker, after all, and he's young to boot—but we'll come back maybe in July. See if he can take the exams he's gonna miss. I know Longshot will want to go down to Whale Tail Island—there's some sea witches there that can ensure Kai doesn't get anything infected—but that'll only be two weeks, one there and back."

"Will he continue his education?" Pema pressed, and Yung sighed.

"I'd like him to continue, but… I suppose it's up to him. I know he'll want to visit Air Temple Island, at the very least." Yung glanced at Jinora. "But I wouldn't be surprised if he decides to go back to school, too."

Her cheeks warmed again. "Well, there's plenty of time to decide," she said quietly.

"Speaking of decisions," said Pema gently, laying a hand lightly on her daughter's arm. There was a smile playing across her lips. "You and Kai?"

"Oh, um…" Her blush deepened, and Yung grinned.

"Well I can hardly say I'm surprised. He's been smitten for months." Jinora buried her face in her hands, and Pema laughed lightly.

"So, how long have you two—?"

"Only a week," she mumbled, re emerging from behind her hands. "After he ran off and we brought him back, we just sort of…"

"You sort of…?" Tenzin looked at her carefully, and Jinora's flush deepened.

"Have done nothing you haven't already seen," she said sharply. "We just kissed, that's all. Kai's a gentleman, daddy, you know that."

"I know," he said gruffly. "Still. You're both growing up so fast."

Jinora smiled softly. "Not too fast." She glanced back towards the hall, to the infirmary. "I'm just glad he's alright."

"And I will expect you both to behave appropriately since I won't be forcing you both to have a chaperone when alone together—"

"Daddy," Jinora whined.

"At least he's not enforcing the chaperone rule," said Pema, smiling softly. "That's a lot of trust to the both of you."

"I know," Jinora admitted, with how rigid the rules of high society usually were. She just wished it could be different. "I just—" She stopped short when Longshot came back, and shot up from her chair. "He's up?"

"He's up. Everyone will get a chance to visit," he reassured the crew, holding up his hands when they went to stand up as well, "just in small groups of four. Any more than that will probably overwhelm him—he's still pretty disorientated. Mr. and Mrs. Gyatso, Jinora, Yung, you four first, I'm guessing?"

Jinora looked at Yung for the okay, and when he nodded, she got up and followed him to the infirmary, her parents trailing close behind.

The infirmary was a little cramped, but they all filed in as best as they could. Jinora's eyes watered when she saw Kai, wrapped in bandages, his eyes weary and his body bent awkwardly, as he could barely sit up on the infirmary cot. The rest of the room was taken up by shelves of bottles, potions and clumps of herbs tied together with twine. Jinora sat down at his bedside, wanting to take his hand, but unsure whether or not she could. "Kai?" she said quietly, afraid to speak too loudly.

He cracked a weak smile. "Hey Jin." His voice was little more than a quiet croak. "Thanks for catching me."

"Kai…" Jinora's eyes stung, and she reached for his hand, relieved when he took it, however weak his grip was.

"'M okay. Came back like I said I would."

"You did an honourable thing, kid," Yung said, taking up the stool beside him. "Sparing Zaheer's life like that."

Kai's slight smile melted off his face, and he rested his head back against his pillows. "Killing him wouldn't have been right," he mumbled. "After everything…"

"It's one of the things that'll make you a great captain," Yung said, beaming with a soft pride. "But you're still my boy, no matter how notorious you get."

Kai's mouth twitched slightly. "I know."

"I'd figure we could dock here for a few days, and then visit some of Longshot's medical friends down south? If that's alright with you?"

"Sure." Kai looked at him curiously. "Why would you need my permission?"

Yung's smile grew. "You're kind of the Captain now, kid."

Kai snorted softly. "Okay, well, you have my permission, then. Go do whatever you want."

Yung reached over and ruffled his hair, before getting to his feet. "Alright then." He paused in the doorway on his way out. "Oh and Kai?"

"Hmm?"

"You're grounded for sneaking out to that fighting ring."

"I—" But Yung had closed the door behind him before Kai could say anything else, and he sighed. "Guess I deserve that."

Jinora laughed softly. "Yes you do." She ran her thumb over his knuckles. "How are you feeling?"

"Better, now." His smile faded when he glanced at Tenzin. "So, uh, sir…" He swallowed hard. "You don't have to say yes even though I almost died, even if that would be well, nice, but, about Jinora and I—"

"I already know, son," Tenzin told him, his beard twitching. "I just hope that in the future you'll be a more safe, and stable part of my daughter's life."

"I'll do my best, sir." Kai looked back at Jinora, his eyes so tender she nearly started crying again. "She's very important to me."

Pema smiled, and then nudged her husband in the stomach. "Perhaps we should give them a chance to talk, dear?"

"I—But—" Tenzin spluttered, before he took a deep breath, then said, "Yes, I...suppose we could give them a moment."

They both filed out of the room, along with a rather amused looking Longshot, shutting the door gently behind them, and a pleasant nervousness buzzed in Jinora's stomach as she looked back at Kai. "Hey, so…" she cleared her throat. "About kissing you, up on deck."

"Mm?"

She pouted. "You're laughing at me."

"Well you are adorable when you're nervous."

Jinora smiled, rolling her eyes, before looking at him fondly. "I'm glad you're okay."

"Jin?"

"Mm?"

He leaned up to kiss her softly, briefly. "I'm really glad I'm alive."

Her eyes watered, and she gave him a soft smile. "I'm really glad you're alive, too." She kissed him again, careful not to apply too much pressure to his split lip. Her heart fluttered when she felt him smile against her mouth, and she very reluctantly pulled away, her hand still in his. "Don't forget about me when you're out there becoming some big-shot pirate captain," she teased. He gave her hand a weak squeeze.

"I could never forget about you."

She smirked at him, once her heart had finished melting. "Yung said you've been smitten for _months_." Kai groaned, grinning. "Is that true?"

"Yes." He touched her cheek gently with his fingertips. "Didn't you realize I was flirting with you in the hospital?"

"I did," she grinned back at him slyly, "but I thought you said those sort of things to all the girls."

"No, just some of those things," Kai said with a cheeky grin, and Jinora wrinkled her nose at him. "But I've never cared about any of them like this. Never felt so at peace, with anyone but you."

Jinora's smile softened. "I think you need a little peace in your life."

"Well I certainly need you."

"You'll always have me." She pressed a kiss to the back of his hand. "Besides, I need you too."

"Jin," he croaked. "Next time… If I get hurt like that again, look away, would you?"

Her bottom lip trembled. "If you don't want me seeing it, then don't get hurt like that again."

"I'll try not to, but you know piracy is dangerous. And I don't want you to see that, if...if something happens. It's not the first time I've been ripped open like that, and it probably won't be the last."

Jinora rested her forehead against his. "Then stop being a pirate."

He frowned at her. "Jinora—"

"My father has merchant ships that work for him. I bet he could get you and the rest of the crew honest work. You could leave piracy behind with Zaheer."

"There are already too many charges against us—"

"My father can clear them for all of you, you're all good men, you don't have to keep putting yourselves in so much danger." Jinora gently squeezed his hand. "You could come back to me."

"I'll come back to you no matter what," he said softly. "But we can't just stop being who we are, Jin. And...there are things I want to do, as captain. Maybe still illegal, but they're good things. I want to free the slave ships we used to pass by all the time, that Zaheer always ignored, for starters. I… I can go back to where I think I was born, and see if I can steal my birth records, or something." He smiled at her sadly. "I've always been a thief, Jin. I can't change that."

"You never stole from us, you're not a—"

"Nothing of material value, anyway," he said with a soft, crooked grin. Jinora flushed. "I try to be the best person I can, but I'm still a pirate. No matter how educated I become, or how much favour your family shows, I'm always a pirate."

Jinora swallowed, but nodded. "I know."

"Then accept it," he said gently. "Once someone falls down the ladder they can't climb back up."

"You know I love that you're a pirate," she murmured. "I just wish…" Her eyes skimmed over his bandages and bruises.

"It'll take a lot more than someone tearing me open to get rid of me," he said, running his thumb over hers. "And it'll take more than anything anyone could do to me to keep me away from you."

"I love you," she said quietly, a pleasant pink colouring her cheeks.

He gave her a weak smile. "Jin, I—"

"It's okay if you can't say it back." She kissed his forehead. "You should rest. Everyone else is going to be coming in small groups to see you, now, okay?"

"Okay. You'll come back soon?"

"Of course." She kissed him one more time, before reluctantly letting go of his hand and getting up from her chair.

Before she could fully open the door, Kai said, "Jin?"

"Yes?"

"I'll say it back, someday."

Warmth bloomed in her chest. "You really don't have to."

"I know."

She smiled at him, almost a little shyly, before shutting the door behind her. She had three or four more days before he'd leave, and well, she was going to make the most of them.

###

Kai's recovery, it turned out, didn't leave much room for many things. He had to rest for most of the day, drifting in and out of consciousness, and when he was awake he blinked too much, his head fuzzy from pain medication. Longshot had to switch his bandages two times a day, a lengthy, semi-painful process that no one else could sit in for. And Kai wouldn't have wanted any of them to, even if all Jinora wanted was to hold his hand through it all; she didn't deserve to see him like that.

The few things he could do, though, was be helped up the stairs onto the deck, eat meals with the rest of the crew, and on one particularly fine afternoon, Jinora was allowed to take him up to the gardens to walk around for a bit, as there were plenty of benches to take a break on when he got too tired.

But most of the time, like this evening, they stayed on the ship, watching the sunset. Jinora leaned on the railing beside him, their elbows touching.

"So," she said with a wry smile—he'd been able to put on a shirt today, although not without help, and she could still see the bandages poking up underneath his rumpled collar, "how goes the captainship?"

"It's good," Kai said, sounding a little surprised. "I haven't been able to do much, but… it's weird, to actually be shown Otaku's financial planning rather than having to sneak looks at it. I mean, I always disagreed with Zaheer on a bunch of things, but I never thought I'd end up being the one to make the new choices, y'know? I always thought Yung would be captain."

"He's really proud of you," Jinora said softly. "He always talks about how good of a captain you'll be."

"I hope I can live up to it," Kai rubbed the back of his neck.

She laid her hand on his arm. "I know you will."

"And I'll come back to school, once things are more stable. Yung and Lefty can fill in for me, while I'm gone. I probably won't graduate at the same time as you—"

"Yes you will. You're one of the smartest people I know, you'll catch up quickly. Even if you don't, I can always stay in one of the tutor's dorms after graduation and help you get caught up."

He shook his head, frowning. "No. You are not waiting for me. You'll go to University, wherever you want, and I'll come visit. Even if it's not by the sea. But you're not putting your life on hold for me."

Jinora nodded solemnly, giving him a soft smile. "Okay."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

He smiled. "Good. Because you're going to do amazing things, Jinora. And I can't wait to see them happen…" The tips of his ears turned red, and it hit her again that he was leaving tomorrow morning. "Jin… can I—can I write you? Write letters to you, I mean, I—"

She chuckled softly, taking his hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. "Of course you can. I'd love that, actually."

He gave her a lopsided grin. "Yeah?"

Her eyes crinkled as she leaned in to kiss him. "Yeah."

"Kai, Jinora—"

She stopped short of his lips, cursing her father for a moment as she turned back to look at him. "Yes, father?"

"I just thought," he stammered, and at least he seemed as embarrassed as Kai was. Tenzin hastily cleared his throat. "Dinner is ready."

"Oh, okay. We'll be there in a few minutes."

Tenzin cleared his throat again, still awkward, and then turned on his heel and left, as quickly and stiffly as possible. Jinora tucked her hair behind her ears once he was gone.

"Sorry about that," she mumbled, "he—"

Kai kissed her. She relaxed against him as he wrapped his arms loosely around her waist, and she cupped his face gently, aware of his bruises as their mouths moved slowly together. She started a little when she felt his tongue poke her bottom lip, but eased her mouth open when he ran it along the seam of her lips. Warmth tingled beneath her skin as his tongue slid into her mouth, slowly tasting her, and she sighed, tangling her fingers in his hair. Another sigh built in her chest as he sucked on her bottom lip, before finally pulling away, his eyes blown open and his breath short and warm against her mouth.

She nuzzled her nose against his cheek, bringing him back for another kiss, and another. God, she'd miss him so much. He held her a little closer, a soft smile on his lips as he shaped them over hers.

"We should probably go down to dinner," she mumbled, giggling as he chased her mouth again. He hummed against her mouth, very reluctantly pulling away.

"Okay." He took her hand and wound their fingers together. "Jin?" She looked at him. "You may not have been my first kiss, but… you're the first kiss that mattered."

She flushed, drawing closer to him. "I know. You're both, for me."

They went down to dinner still holding hands, and for a moment, everything was perfect.


	11. Letters

**a/n:** from this point onwards the story will get into more sexual content, although it will be scattered and only become more explicit. there will also be themes on mental illness (such as depression and suicidal thoughts) going forward, so if that's something that's triggering/harmful for you, please stay safe and take care of yourself. however, hope is always present here in the anchorverse. & yeah, i think that's all? hope you guys enjoy the new chapter, and Canada Cowboy, i wanted to let you know just how much spiritypowers and i adore your reviews, they really brighten our days! without further ado, here's chapter eleven of this monstrosity of a fic

* * *

CHAPTER ELEVEN: Letters

 _Dear Kai,_

 _School's going well, although a lot of people (mostly girls) are wondering where you are. I told Lee and the girls the whole story. I think he's a little disappointed to not have a roommate anymore, but he wishes you well, anyway. They all do. We're all looking forward to when you come back to school in September, and in the meantime, I have your visits and your letters to look forward to._

 _End of year exams went well too, but I won't know my results until June. They're not too hard, but once you're back, we already have Professor Zei ready to catch you up in preparation._

 _I miss you so much. We still have bonfires on the rooftop, but they're not the same without you. Although perhaps I was a little less distracted when studying for my exams…_

 _Give Yung and the rest of the crew my regards._

 _Love always,_

 _Jinora_

…

 _Dear Jinora,_

 _We liberated our first slave ship a week ago. It was only a small one, but it felt really good to be helping people. We've been spending a lot of time trying to get the people we freed back to their homes and families, although one of them wanted to join the crew. His name is Skoochy and he seems alright. At the very least, it's nice to be able to give someone a second chance, like I got. And he's only a few years older than me._

 _Everyone seems so much more relaxed, and happier. It's kind of scary, being captain, but if everyone's happier, then it's worth it. Otaku's not nearly as nervous all the time, and I think everyone's actually working better together. It might just be wishful thinking, too, but… I think I'm actually doing a good job. Or at least, I'm not doing a bad one._

 _I miss you, though. There's all these things out at sea and all these places, and I really wanna share them with you and I can't. Even ports that have gotten boring over time would be fun if you were here, 'cause you'd get to see it through new eyes._

 _Someday, I want you to come with me. I want you to do all the other things you've got planned first, but when you get time, I really want you to come see the world with me. Even if it's only for a little while. I think you'd like it a lot, and I'd take you wherever you want to go, show you anything you want to see. The crew would love having you around again, too. I know you'll probably want to go to university first, and then be a senator or a governor or a professor or something, but… something for me to stay around for, right?_

 _Say hello to your family for me, and tell Lee and the girls that I'm looking forward to seeing them. (I'm looking forward to seeing you most, though. But don't tell them that.)_

 _Always yours,_

 _Kai_

...

 _Dear Kai,_

 _I know you'll be back in only two weeks (how has June flown by so quickly?) but I wanted to send one last letter for you to get while you sail back into Republic City. I can't wait to hear your voice again._

 _Everyone's home for the summer holiday now (it's been almost a year since we first met, can you believe it? It feels like it's been so much longer), but Lee lives less than an hour's carriage ride away, so he'll be visiting soon, and the girls plan on visiting a few times throughout the summer. Shen Shen and Pfannee usually travel a lot more than Miki and I do, so they're rather scarce during the summer, but they've told me to let me know when you're back so they can visit the both of us._

 _I haven't told the girls about us yet, but I've told Lee, who's been supportive. And while he doesn't quite say it out loud, I can tell that he misses you. I think after having mostly female friends for so long, it was nice for him to have another boy to talk to. And I miss having my two favourite people in the same place, but it'll be the three of us again in a few weeks. And then we can spend nights up on the rooftop again, with September being only two months away._

 _I miss you so much, and I can't wait to see you again soon._

 _Love always,_

 _Jinora_

…

 _Dear Jinora,_

 _It's Yung. Sorry you haven't heard from any of us in a while. I know we were supposed to arrive roughly two days ago—hopefully you and your family haven't been worrying too much, under the assumption that it was bad weather or we ran into a spot of trouble. The latter, I'm afraid, is correct._

 _Long story short, there was some trouble with one of the rival ships. We're okay, and Kai's perfectly alright, just a bit shaken up. We all are. We'll be back as soon as we can, we have to make a detour to Tong Gong, which is almost all the way at the end of the Gold Coast. We'll—or most likely he will—write you a letter when we have a better idea of when we're coming back. In two weeks, minimum, I'm afraid._

 _Give your family our regards,_

 _Yung_

###

Kai came back two weeks and a day later, after a thunderstorm the night before. The docks were slippery and wet as the glistening Waterbender got hauled into the Island's harbour with sagging, heavy ropes tied tightly around sturdy wooden poles. Jinora almost didn't see them through the window, with how grey the sky still was and the fog rising slightly from Yue Bay. She'd been too disappointed after reading Yung's letter to properly hope they would arrive when they said they'd would, this time.

And yet here they were.

"Mommy! Daddy! Rohan! They're here!" She found the nearest servant and ordered them to go find and tell her family, barely pausing to pull on a shawl over her bare shoulders, courtesy of a casual summer dress, before running out the door. She didn't stop running till she reached the bottom of the ramp, looking frantically for Kai.

The door that led below decks was wide open, most of the crew milling about on deck, and then she saw Kai helping a young man with shaggy hair (although Jinora didn't recognize him) lift the desk that was usually on deck back onto the shiny wet floor. They had only just set it down when Jinora threw herself at him.

He froze, and stayed that way for so long that Jinora almost pulled away when Kai wrapped his arms tight around her. She went to rest her chin on his shoulder, and found she had to get on her tippy-toes to do so, now. He must have grown in the four months they'd been apart.

"Hey," she mumbled, gripping the back of his shirt.

He puffed out a quiet laugh against her ear. "Hey."

She pulled away slightly, cupping one side of his face in her hand. "Aren't you supposed to stop growing at some point? And be on time?"

He cracked a grin at her, his green eyes as bright and dazzling as always, and her heart did a familiar backflip. "You know I never do the things I'm supposed to, Gyatso."

"I'm just glad you're here."

"Me too." And then he caught sight of the young man again, and grinned sheepishly. "Oh, uh, Jin, this is Skoochy. Skooch, this is Jinora Gyatso."

Skoochy regarded her carefully for a moment, and then stuck out his hand. There were scars wrapping around his wrist. "Nice to meet you," he said cautiously, as Kai gave him an encouraging grin. Jinora let go of Kai reluctantly, taking Skoochy's hand and giving it a gentle shake. His grip was so soft it was barely there, and he let go quickly.

"It's nice to meet you too," she said with a soft smile. "Kai's told me a lot of good things about you in his letters."

Skoochy glaced at Kai. "He has?"

"Mmhmm."

"Oh." Skoochy smiled slightly. "Well, that's...nice."

Kai grinned at him. "You don't have to make small talk, Skooch. Go on, go smoke. I know you want to."

Skoochy let out a sigh of relief. "Alright. Thanks, Captain."

"I told you, call me Kai."

"Fine," Skoochy mumbled with a smile, before heading off as he dug a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket.

"He can be a little...shy," Kai said, once he was out of earshot, "but he's a good guy. Just had a lot of bad luck till recently."

"Don't worry, I know you pick good friends," Jinora said, poking him lightly in the side with her finger. He laughed softly, though there was something in his eyes she couldn't quite catch, and for a second she was worried she'd accidentally probed a new injury. "Yung's letter said you got into a bit of trouble a few weeks ago. You didn't get hurt at all, did you?"

"I'm fine," he said quickly, looking away, and she got a good look at the bags under his eyes. "Just adjusting to captainship still, that's all. Got a new tattoo."

Jinora grinned, tugging at his shirt sleeve, before she heard the crew joyfully greet the rest of her family. "Show me when my father's not around?" she said with a sly smile, and the tips of Kai's ears turned red. Oh, she couldn't wait to kiss him senseless, when they got some alone time.

"Alright," he said, managing a small, shy smile, before they went to greet her family together, alongside Yung. Rohan, Pema and Tenzin all wrapped him into warm hugs, the latter two also hugging his first mate.

"Tell us everything," said Pema, smiling broadly as she pulled away. "How have you been? You can come up to the house for tea."

Yung's eyes crinkled. "We've been—" He broke off, looking towards the door that led below decks. "Kai, I think Pabu's having a little trouble with helping Lefty up the stairs."

Kai pursed his lips. "I'll take care of it."

Jinora gave Yung a confused smile. "It's a little early in the day for Lefty to already be drinking, isn't it?" It was only an hour past noon, after all.

"You'll see," Yung said, a small, sad smile on his face. The smile fell off Jinora's face, but she watched as Kai re-emerged with a skinny, redheaded man named Pabu, both of them helping Lefty up and onto the deck, because, well, because…

His left leg was gone below the knee, replaced with a thick wooden pegleg. Her mouth dropped open, but no sound came out, before she rushed over to him, helping him up on the last step.

"Thanks, darling," he said with that same fond gruffness as always. Kai looked particularly distraught, although he was hiding it well, once Lefty had been helped into a chair.

"What happened?!" Jinora burst before she could stop herself. Lefty and Kai shared a glance, before the former managed a smile.

"We got raided by another ship, and I got a nasty gash in my leg," Lefty said, nonchalantly. "The only way to make sure infection didn't get me was to just chop it off. Longshot did a good job of it too. Nice and clean cut." His smile turned cheeky. "Quick way to lose 30 pounds, anyway."

"Lefty," Kai said tiredly.

"And now I have a more interesting reason for my name," Lefty pointed out.

"Akash," Yung said warningly.

"Fine, nickname." But he stopped with the jokes. "Don't worry about me, darling," he said, far more gently as he looked at Jinora's distraught expression, "I'm just fine."

Kai's hands balled into fists, but he didn't say anything against it. "I just need to go check with Otaku, quickly, about some financial stuff, and then I'll join you all back at the house."

It wasn't a request, Jinora realized, as he strode off to the desk Otaku had taken a seat behind, and she wondered when he'd become used to not having to ask Alright? after every suggestion.

"I'll walk up with you," Yung said brightly. For a moment, Jinora almost followed them, but a regretful look from Yung made her hesitate for a moment, before heading back to the estate.

She saw her parents waiting at the door as she made her way onto the path, and waved, the crew lagging behind her. Tenzin nodded, before going back inside, but Pema stayed, warmly inviting the rest of the crew inside.

"Kai certainly looks tired," Pema said quietly, pursing her lips once it was just her and Jinora on the stoop, as the Captain, navigator, and Skoochy finally started walking up the stone path to the mansion.

"He does," Jinora agreed, trying to smile when she caught Kai's gaze. He smiled back, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. He seemed so much...older. "I'm sure it's just because he's still adjusting. I'll make sure he has a good sleep schedule once we're back at school."

"Jinora," her mother said carefully, laying a hand on her shoulder, "just make sure you're not… I know how much the two of you care for each other, and I know you left things rather up in the air, but Kai might not have time for a relationship like the one you want, right now."

Jinora's throat tightened. "I wasn't even thinking about that," she said shortly. Which was true. She hadn't thought about that possibility at all, hadn't considered they couldn't go back to whatever they were before his fight with Zaheer, with an easy friendship and simple kisses. It wasn't like she was asking him to devote his entire life to her. Sure, leaving his crew and getting an education would be a radically different life than the one he'd probably thought he'd have, but…

"Even so, I...I'm sure he still cares for you deeply, I just...want you to be aware, that he might need a little more space. I expect he's been through a lot, and has a lot to process."

"You make it sound like I crowd him all the time," she said curtly.

"I didn't mean anything by that, I just—"

"He's my friend, Mother. He knows he can talk to me if he wants to. And if not…" Her eyes stung. Was he already drifting away from her? "It's fine. We'll be fine."

Otaku was babbling excitedly about siren migration patterns to a rather silent, but amused looking Kai and Skoochy, the boys exchanging twin grins, although Kai stopped by her side while the other two proceeded into the house. Pema smiled, before leaving them both alone at the door.

"Wanna walk for a little bit?" Kai asked.

Jinora smiled, and hoped her relief wasn't showing through. "Yes," she said a little too quickly, and blushed. "I mean, it'd be nice—"

Kai chuckled and took her hand, entwining his fingers with hers. "C'mon."

They walked in the gardens for a bit, and there were so many things she wanted to say, and ask, even if she didn't know how to say any of it, when Kai finally said, "I bet you aced your exams."

She smiled again. "Well, yes, except I got a 98 on one of them, so I wouldn't say ace—"

He laughed. "Oh, my mistake."

"And I came second in our fencing championship."

His eyes lit up. "Congrats, Jin."

She nudged him lightly in the shoulder, swinging their hands gently between them. "What about you? What have you been up to?"

"Pissing off slavers, mostly," he said, with a small, crooked grin. "And keeping an eye on their movements, tracking them. Although we've been doing a lot trading too, to pay off whatever debt Zaheer left us in. Republic City's always a good trading port, though."

"And the crew?"

"Drunk and loveable as always. Your family?"

"Good. My father's starting to prepare for running for re-election next spring, so he's quite busy, and Rohan and my mother miss you a lot. Ikki has a crush on someone else now, his name is Huan BeiFong, even if he's far too old for her."

Kai chuckled. "So I'm off the hook then?" he smirked.

Maybe it was his height, or the fact that the line of his jaw had definitely sharpened, his deeper voice completely settled into his throat, or even because she hadn't seen him in a while, but Jinora felt herself blush furiously, terribly flustered just by that dumb smirk of his. "I-I guess so."

Kai stuck his tongue in his cheek, as if he knew exactly how he was affecting her and he loved it. "You're not sure?"

"You—oh shut up—"

He laughed, using his other hand to cup her chin and lift her head, smiling into her lips as he kissed her. Jinora quieted, her hands curling into the sleeves of his shirt as she happily kissed him back, a little breathless when he finally pulled away.

"I missed you," he said, and his smile reached his eyes.

Jinora couldn't help but mirror his happiness. "I missed you too. Ready to go inside now?"

"Yeah." He squeezed her hand. "Let's go."

###

Having Kai and the crew back at Air Temple Island was something Jinora hadn't fully let herself realize how much she'd missed, until now. Even with Ikki and Meelo running around, it had been far too quiet without all of them, the mansion feeling much too large without the extra footsteps and voices during the day. The mansion had always been far too big for six people and a few servants, but it had never felt so empty before they'd all settled into their lives.

Though Kai's room was made ready for him in the mansion, he slept on the ship, citing his work as captain for the reason, something Jinora could begrudgingly agree with, even if she didn't particularly like it. It would've been easier to sneak him into her room at night if they were in the same building, but she'd figure something else out before he left again, and they would have plenty of time for late night chats and cuddling and kissing once they were at school, too.

Still, with her eager family and busy crew (who were largely self sufficient anyway, but Kai still had to oversee some things), she missed having her boyfriend all to herself. If he could be called her boyfriend, that is, as they still hadn't decided what they were, exactly, and while she was proud of him… she missed when they could just be teenagers, too.

Which, she supposed, is how she found herself sneaking down to the ship on his fourth night back, and knocking on the door of his new room, the captain's quarters. Her stomach did backflips as the door opened, Kai wearing sleep pants and nothing else, his face lighting up in mild confusion and happiness as he looked at her.

"Uh, hey, Jin."

She put her hand on her hip. "What, you can visit my room by climbing a tree, but I can't visit yours?"

He grinned and stepped aside, letting her in and then shutting the door. "Visit away."

She sat down on the edge of his unmade bed, glancing up at him, and the rest of his room. It was pretty bare, with a desk and a dresser, a bucket for washing up she assumed, and some hooks on the wall that Kai's sword belt was hanging down from. She saw a picture of the crew all together on the dresser, and smiled.

"I could get you a picture of myself you know," she offered, arching an eyebrow.

Kai smiled, glancing at her as he stacked a few papers on his desk. "Yeah?"

"One of us together, maybe," she suggested. "We could get it commissioned. Unless you want something a little more _private_?"

His ears turned red at the implication, and a hint of pride swelled in Jinora's chest. "O-oh, uh—"

He was cute when he was flustered, and it was nice to know she had the upper hand after getting so flustered in the gardens. "You alright there? You look a little red."

"Jinora," he groaned helplessly, as she laughed.

"I'm teasing. Mostly," she relented. "Hey, come here. Relax." She tugged him over to sitting beside her on his bed, as he buried his face in his hands. She kissed the shaven side of his head. "It's okay, Kai."

"You're a cruel woman," he mumbled, lowering his hands. His lips quirked up in a smile when she pecked him on the cheek.

"You love it," she said.

"I love being tortured by a beautiful woman?"

She swatted him in the arm, giggling. "You're ridiculous."

He smiled at her. "So, is there a particular reason you're paying me a visit? I know it must be hard to wait until tomorrow to see my handsome face."

She rolled her eyes lightheartedly, her smile growing softer when he took her hand. "I miss having you sleep under the same roof as me," she admitted quietly.

Kai sighed softly, and gave her a smile. "You know I have to stay on the ship."

"I do, I just… miss having alone time with you. Don't you miss it too?" She chewed her bottom lip nervously.

"I do," he said, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. "I've just had a lot on my plate these days. But I promise I'm gonna try and make more time for you."

She smiled, resting her head on his shoulder. "Thank you. I know you're still adjusting, so take as much time as you need, and maybe get some more sleep too, and then… you can focus on me."

"I'm always looking at you," he said quietly. "And I wouldn't mind that picture. The first one, of us together."

Jinora tried not to feel too wounded by his dismissal of the second offer—it had mostly been a joke after all. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." Kai licked his lips, speaking slowly. "Unless…?"

She raised her head to look at him. A blush was spreading all across his cheeks. "Unless?"

"Would the second offer still be on the table too?"

A flurry of butterflies went off in her stomach, and she turned her head, the tip of her nose brushing the curve of his neck. "I think I could manage it. If you give me one of you in turn?"

He swallowed thickly. "I know there's a camera somewhere on the ship."

She pressed a light kiss to his neck. "Alright then." She smiled against his skin. "We could even take the picture right now, if you want."

Kai turned to look at her, their noses barely touching, and Jinora wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him hard, and he threaded his fingers in her hair, holding her close, and she knew that this was a different sort of kiss than any of the others they had exchanged before. She whimpered against his mouth as he sucked her bottom lip between his teeth, grasping at the small of her back, and she pulled him back in every time they separated even for air, until she was lying on his bed with him on top and pressed wonderfully against her. He pulled away from her mouth for a moment, pressing warm, wet kisses down her neck, and she let out a breathy, involuntary moan in his ear. She was almost sure that the low growl he uttered against her neck would be her undoing, as he started stroking the curve of her hips with his hands. He captured her lips with his again, his fingertips brushing the bottom of her camisole.

Jinora sat up a little, pushing on his shoulders, and he watched with wide eyes as she reached down and pulled her top off, holding it in her hands for a moment. She was wearing a white bra underneath, and he let out a shaky exhale.

"God, Jin," Kai croaked. She took his face in her hands and kissed him again, her skin burning when his hands landed at her waist, stroking her bare skin.

It was almost terrifying how she just wanted more of him, as she tangled her fingers in his hair and ran her tongue along his, tasting him hungrily. He tasted like salt and the salad they'd had for dinner that night and the sea. He wound his arms around her waist, holding her tight as his weight settled back over hers. She spread her legs apart, squeezing his hips between her thighs, and he stiffened, pulling away from her mouth regretfully.

"We should stop," he managed, his voice a low husk. He hoped he would sound stronger, that his defences would last, if she tried to convince him otherwise; he had a feeling he wouldn't be able to resist her for too long.

"Did I do something wrong?" she asked, her head tilting slightly, all too innocently for the position they were currently in.

"No, no," he said quickly. "You didn't do anything wrong. I just—" He tried to ignore the way his pants were uncomfortably tight. "Don't want to get carried away."

She bit her lip, and he wasn't sure if it was innocently endearing or all too tempting. "Oh. Okay." She was still lying down when he sat up, feeling far too warm even for summertime.

"It's not because I don't—want you," he said, stumbling over his words. If he wasn't red in the face before, he was now. "I just—"

Jinora sat up, and brushed his hair off his forehead with gentle fingers. "It's alright. You don't have to explain." She pressed a soft, chaste kiss to his forehead. "You're a good guy, Kai."

He let his hands rest on her waist again, even if his touch was still a tad tentative. "I still want to kiss you, though. Just… we gotta make sure we keep the rest of our clothes on. Okay?"

She smiled, but nodded, sincere. "Okay. I want to keep kissing you too."

His lips were softer against hers, more controlled, until she coaxed him into something hungrier, but more relaxed. Less consuming, as he shaped his mouth over hers and she moved into his lap, running her hands down his strong arms.

"Show me the new tattoo?" she murmured, drawing away from his mouth for a moment, and pleased when his lips chased hers for another brief kiss, before he pulled away too.

He took her hand and guided it down to his forearm, below the compass he had inked onto his skin, and she ran her fingers over the new white lines. "Got another bird," he supplied. "A sparrowkeet." She ran her thumb over the lines, down the curve of his muscle.

"It's beautiful," she murmured, and she wasn't sure if she was just talking about his tattoo. She looked up at him through her lashes. "And… you must have a scar on your back. From Zaheer?"

"Yeah. It's completely healed now, just ugly."

Jinora didn't think any part of him could be ugly and she almost told him that, but instead said, "Can I see it?"

He pursed his lips, but nodded, and turned around so his back was to her. She saw the three little birds near his left shoulder blade, and then, next to it and in between the arches of his back, was the scar, stretching all the way down to his lower back. She ran her fingertips gently over the risen flesh, before pressing her lips to the top of it, and Kai's breath caught in his throat.

"Told you it was ugly," he managed, but she shook her head, pressing another kiss to the scar. She trailed soft, warm kisses down the jagged line of his scar, down to the bottom tip of it, before he turned back towards her, grabbing her wrists gently to stop her. "You don't have to, Jin. I—I don't need any pity."

"I'm not pitying you," she said softly. "I'm loving you."

His eyes grew bright, and he didn't stop her as she crawled back into his lap, taking his face in her hands and kissing him gently, until she pulled away to say, "Kai?"

"Hmm?"

"You're coming back to school, right?"

He fell silent, as her eyes searched his face. "I don't know," he admitted, and her eyebrows rose.

"You _don't_ —"

"I'd like to. But I still have a lot of work to do. And going to school was fun, it's in own way, being with you and Lee and the girls was nice, but… I never belonged there, Jin. Not really."

She frowned at him. "So what you're saying is that you don't belong with me?" she said, equal parts hurt and apprehension.

"No, that's not what I'm saying, I—I just don't belong there—"

"That's where I spend most of my life, Kai. That's where our friends are—"

"Your friends, I was never that close to any of them other than Lee—"

She got off of him, and off the bed, looking for her shirt on the floor. "Well if you're going to be an ass—"

"Jin, don't be like this—"

"Like what?" She whirled around with flashing eyes, clutching her shirt in her hands.

"Don't put words in my mouth, you know I didn't mean it like that—look, I've done the best I can adjusting to your world, but you still haven't really tried adjusting to mine. I have responsibilities now, I have to keep the crew alive, and fed, and cared for. I have a reputation to earn."

"I thought you didn't even want to be captain," she snapped, tugging her shirt on properly.

"I don't."

"Then why—"

"Because I don't trust anyone else to do it, and I don't have anywhere else to go." He scowled at her. "That's why."

"Yes you do! You have Air Temple Island—"

"Just because you want me here doesn't mean I belong here, Jinora."

"Well lately it feels like you don't want me at all! Your letters are always shorter, and you hardly write me, and I had to find out you weren't coming home from Yung, and you didn't tell me about Lefty, or that you were thinking about not going back to school—do you even know how that feels?"

He got to his feet. "You're asking _me_ if I know what it feels like to not be wanted?"

"So you admit, that I'm not wanted anymore?"

"That's not what—why do you always put words in my mouth—"

"Maybe because you don't speak to me, or anyone! Have you even told Yung why you're so tired all the time?"

"I'm dealing with it on my own, I'm fine—"

"The same way Lefty is?"

He flinched, and then growled, "Shut up."

"Don't tell me to—"

" _You don't know anything about how Lefty lost his leg_ , so don't act like you do!"

She raised her chin, and set her jaw as their eyes met, his hard but cracked underneath. "It had something to do with you, didn't it? You blame yourself for it." She knew him well enough to know that, at least, now that it had become painfully obvious. The blame was most likely unfounded, she knew, likely because as captain he considered it his duty to take care of his men, but…

"Get out, Jinora," he said tiredly, even if his eyes were still angry.

Angry tears burned in her eyes as she glared at him. "Fine. I hope—I hope you—" she spit, faltering, trying to think of a good enough insult. Burn felt too by the book.

"Fall off a bridge?" he offered.

"Oh shut up, I don't want you to die—"

"Doesn't mean I won't, though, if I'm lucky." He strode over to his door, and opened it up for her.

She stayed where she was, crossing her arms over her chest. "What the hell do you mean by that?"

"Thought you'd be smart enough to figure it out on your own, Gyatso."

She walked forwards and shoved him lightly. "Don't you dare," she said fiercely, "don't you ever dare joke about that—"

"Who said I was joking?"

Her anger melted away, as she opened and closed her mouth a few times, before managing, "What happened to you? Does Yung know about this?"

"He suspects." Kai's voice was clear and cold, clipped short like a thin blade. "But I've always been fucked up. He knows that."

"You are not—"

"Yes I am."

"No you're not."

Kai let out a humourless laugh. "What is with you people, and pretending I'm not completely fucked up inside? You, Lee—even Yung, sometimes— _and you don't even know_ —you don't even know all the reasons—like my mother, and the orphanage, and the streets, and the Triads—and the fact I can barely make it through a decent night's sleep—because my body's stupid and won't let me die and I can't justify offing myself on purpose because it would hurt Yung and the crew too much, even though they'd all be better off without me—you'd be better off without me—and Lefty would still have his leg, and—" A sob tore from his throat, tears welling in his eyes. "And my mother would still be alive, and—"

"...Kai?"

He wiped at his eyes, although it did little to stem the flow, opening the door again even if his hand was shaking, fumbling with the doorknob. "Just go, Jinora."

"Kai—"

"I don't belong with your crowd, Gyatso, so if you want to think that means I don't belong with you then go ahead."

A large, hot tear rolled down her face. "You're just going to give me up that easily?"

"Did I ever have a chance in the first place?"

Her bottom lip trembled as she took a small step towards him. "Yes. Kai, what is going on with you? Just talk to me. Please. Tell me something. I—I love you."

He was quiet for a moment, and then he leaned forward and kissed her forehead, his voice soft. "I'm sorry. I need you to go."

She closed her eyes, fresh tears falling down her face. "Don't shut me out forever," she pleaded, before turning away, and rushing back up the hallway, towards where she knew the crew's quarters were. There was Lefty snoring in the corner of one room, and a few beds over—

"Yung," she whispered, and the older man jerked away.

"Washappening? An attack—"

"No," she assured him, as Yung sat up and rubbed at his bleary eyes. "It's Kai, I'm worried he's going to hurt himself."

Yung glanced at her, eyes wide, and then scratched at his belly as he got out of bed, wearing pants and a sleep shirt with a beer stain on it, and herded Jinora out into the hallway, closing the door behind him. "Jinora, what are you even doing here this time of night?"

"I—I was...talking to Kai, and we started fighting, and then he…" A lump rose in her throat. "He started talking about how he might not come back to school, and I got upset, and then he—he started talking about his mother, and how the world would be better off without him in it, and I'm—I'm scared for him. I'm scared to leave him alone, even if he's made it clear he doesn't want me around."

Yung's brow furrowed. "He started talking about his mother?"

"Yung do you…" Jinora bit her lip. "Do you know what happened to her?"

"I have my suspicions." Yung sighed heavily. "Jinora, did you ever think maybe the reason he doesn't want to go back to school is because he feels like he'll never be able to catch up with you? Here on the ship, he's always been on top. Hell, now he's in charge, and that brings its own weight—but he still knows what he's doing. He knows what sort of future he can have. But you—school—that changes everything. And he's never liked change."

"He knows I don't care if he can't 'catch up', and I'll help him—"

"He's never liked having to depend so much on people, especially when he thinks he should be taking care of them."

"But—"

"Do you really think he could be content with having only the life you currently lead? With nothing but parties and fancy dinners?"

Jinora fell silent for a moment. "Even I'm not content with that," she said quietly. "And he knew, and that's why he talked to my father, and…" She closed her eyes tightly. "Will you please just go talk to him? Just to make sure he's alright?"

"I will. If he's bringing up his mother, than he's in a sorry state indeed."

She slowly opened her eyes, though they were still stinging with tears. "He brought up an orphanage, too. And something called the Triads? Only just in passing though. He didn't elaborate."

Yung looked at her, his eyes crinkling. "C'mon," he said gently, "we'll go make him some tea, and then bring it over to his room."

Jinora followed him to the kitchen, watching as he lit a candle, and filled a kettle, before Yung began to speak again. "Before he was on the streets, Kai was in an orphanage." He put the kettle on the stove. "And near as he's told me, they… they beat him terribly there. It's why he ran away, choosing to test his luck on the streets instead. He was around six, then, I think. Maybe younger."

Her brain connected the dots. "So when Zaheer used to hit him in sparring—"

"Exactly."

"He never told me."

"He doesn't tell anyone. And when he finally met you, do you really think he wanted to share all that with the first friend his age? Most of what I know has come out over the years, of me putting pieces together. Over seven years. And for his entire first year on the ship, he was still a scared little boy. Jinora—you make him happy. I can see it. But that's also one of the reasons he doesn't want to dump all his grief on you. He… becoming captain has been hard on him, but it's also helped him. Just be patient. He'll come around, and you can both figure things out."

"I just…" Jinora wiped at her eyes, sniffling. "I just thought it could be simple. I don't want us to change."

"Nothing worthwhile in life is ever simple, I'm afraid." Yung took the kettle off the split second before it started to whistle. "D'you want ginseng?"

Jinora blinked, chewing her bottom lip. "S-sure."

Yung gave her a slight smile as he poured water into three separate mugs. "Has Kai ever told you how we met?"

"No?"

"He was probably around nine, but he looked younger. I found him in an alleyway, or, well, he tried to corner me. He nearly took my eye out with the dagger of his, but I managed to disarm him, and well, we talked. I got him to trust me, just a little bit. It was enough." Yung chuckled softly to himself, looking wistful as he stared at his mug. "He was so scared, coming back onto the ship. But he was also ready, I think, to get off the streets. To...find an actual home. He waited so long to have one, but now I think, he's torn. Because he feels like he has two. One with us… and one with you."

"He...he said that he didn't think he belonged at school."

"That doesn't mean he doesn't think he belongs with you."

"But…" Jinora sighed. "I'm there all the time, and then I'm going off to university, and then…"

"I know it's a hard thing to accept when you're young, but just because you can't be with someone when you want to be, doesn't mean you'll never be together."

"You think he'd still want to be with me, after so long?"

Yung smiled slightly. "I think that's something you should ask him." Yung handed her the yellow mug with ginseng in it. "Drink your tea, and then go get some sleep. I'm gonna go check on him, and we'll see how he is in the morning, alright?"

"Alright. Um...tell him I'm sorry. For getting angry."

"I will. But I bet he's already forgiven you, and… you know he's not always the best at expressing himself. Just try and be a little more patient, next time? The both of you."

"I will. We will, I hope." She swallowed, and took a sip of her mug. "Thank you, Yung. I'm really glad he has you."

Yung's smile grew. "I'm glad he has you, too. Now get some sleep, kiddo."

"I will. Thank you for the tea, and...everything else."

"Anytime." He gave Jinora's shoulder a gentle squeeze, before heading down the hall to the captain's quarters. Jinora drained the rest of her tea, before heading back up on deck, shivering as the cool night air brushed along her skin.

Hopefully, they'd be alright in the morning.

###

Jinora waited a few hours past breakfast at eight o'clock in the morning, before she worked up the nerve to go down to the ship (and thought she had given them enough time, too). She brought along a small satchel of his favourite breakfast danishes as a peace offering, hoping that he'd at least accept them if not her apology.

Her stomach did flips as she approached his room, for a moment hesitating. He hadn't been up on deck with the crew, although everyone had been as friendly to her as always, so clearly they didn't think whatever was keeping Kai holed up in the captain's quarters with Yung (she assumed, as she hadn't seen him on deck either) had nothing to do with her.

But finally, she raised her fist and knocked quickly on the door. There was some shuffling on the other side, and Kai half opened the door, and she heard snoring behind him, although she couldn't see much but the wooden wall above his bed behind his shoulder.

"Hey," he greeted, his hair and shirt as equally disheveled as one another, and with dark bags under his eyes, but he didn't seem unhappy to see her.

"H-hey." She nervously flexed her fingers over the rim of the satchel. "Is—is that Yung?"

The corner of Kai's mouth lifted. "Yeah. He's been asleep for a few hours." Kai's already small smile faded, but he still didn't look displeased that she was here, just confused. Or at least she hoped. "What're you doing here?"

"I-I just—" She practically shoved the satchel into his chest. "I'm sorry about last night. I didn't think about your feelings, and well, I'm sorry, I—they're breakfast danishes, I thought you might, like some?"

He let out a soft chuckle. "You're really gonna try to soften me up with food?"

"Maybe?"

He gave her a small smile, his fingers gently brushing hers as he took the satchel, and set it down. "C'mon, let's go for a walk."

"R-really?"

He closed the door quietly, and then moved to stand beside her as the sound of Yung's snoring faded. "Before it starts raining, ideally." The clouds had been awfully grey on her way over.

She smiled to herself, and followed him. "Okay."

###

It ended up raining in the end, so they found themselves walking through the sheltered part of the garden, the backs of their hands just brushing as they walked.

"I'm sorry," Jinora repeated when she couldn't stand the silence any longer, but Kai shook his head.

"I'm the one who should be sorry, I—"

"No, I'm the one who started everything. I…" She looked away. "I just wanted to...to keep you, _so badly_."

He reached over, his fingers warm against her chin and cheek as he turned her towards him again. "It's okay. I just—I freaked out a little too. School's hard for me and I don't know if I see a future for myself there, but I—I still want one with you, but figuring out how to have the ship and you and… I'm still figuring it out."

"I want you to come back to school, and… mostly, I want you to stay with me. But if you can't, then I won't stop you. I...I really am happy for you, and proud of you, that you've found a place to not only belong, but to lead." She smiled sadly. "I just wish I could have you to myself, too. I suppose I'm a little selfish that way."

"I keep wanting you to come with me, so I guess I might be, too. Even if it'd destroy your family's reputation, and yours, probably—it's like I said. It's a lot easier to climb down the ladder than to climb back up. But of course, you can't come with me yet."

"I can't," she admitted. "And even if I could—I don't know how long I would last. O-or want to, I—"

"I know what you mean." They sat down on a cushioned bench, knees pressed close together underneath the porch roof of the mansion. "Do you think we would have met anyway, if I hadn't been at the bank?"

"Or if I hadn't?" she mused, and he gave her a sheepish grin, although it quickly faded. She reached over and tentatively took his hand. "I don't know. I like to think so."

Kai squeezed her hand. "I do too. But—but you gotta admit, we are an unlikely pairing."

"We are," she agreed slowly, something heavy in his voice making her watch him carefully.

"So—so maybe it's better if we… if we go our separate ways for now. Not completely separate!" he amended quickly. "But just—as friends. Or, or whatever we wanna call this." He held up their joint hands. "But not put, labels, or like, requirements? Do—d'you know what I mean?"

Jinora slowly slipped her fingers out of his. "I do," she said quietly, even if her eyes were burning.

He swallowed hard. "Jin—"

"No, it's okay, Kai. Really, I get it. You're not—neither of us are in a place for this relationship. It's fine." She blinked, and wiped at her eyes.

"I'll still write you," he said softly. "And visit, when I can."

She gave him a sad smile. "You better."

Kai looked at her for a moment, locking his fingers together, before he leaned over and kissed her softly on the cheek. "We're okay?"

She swallowed hard, but smiled nonetheless, her eyes bright and wet. "We're okay." Jinora sniffled quietly. "Hopefully, someday…"

"I know." He ran his thumb over the back of her hand. "You'll always be the first kiss that mattered. And I'll see if I can come back to school, this fall. I really will."

"I know," she said this time. "Just… send me a letter every once in awhile. I'm still here if you want to talk."

"And I'm still here if you want to."

There was an ache in her chest as she said, "I'll always love you, you know. Even if you never say it back."

"Jin…" He brought her hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to the back of it. "You are always my best friend, and—you know I care so, so much about you—I guess I—you know it's hard for me to—"

"It's okay. I just wanted you to know. And...you know you'll always have a home here, too?"

"I know." He gazed at her with soft, tender eyes. "And if you ever wanna go see the world, I'd be happy to show it to you."

"One day," she said, the weight on her chest lessening by a fraction. "When I'm ready, maybe before I have to go to university… Keep an eye out for a word from me till then?"

"Absolutely." His expression didn't change, and she let out a shaky breath, the rain pattering outside their safe little bubble.

"Kai, can I—one last time?"

He nodded, his eyes bright. "Please."

She kissed him slowly, shaping her mouth over his as gently as possible, afraid it'd be over if she moved too fast. He placed a hesitant hand at her waist, pulling her closer as he deepened the kiss, his other hand cradling the base of her head, neither of them wanting to be the one who pulled away first. Every time she nearly worked up the strength, or was tempted to give in to the lack of air in her lungs, he chased her lips, pulling her back in like waves against the shore. She wondered if she'd ever be strong enough to pull away.

But she finally did, after one last kiss, her lips swollen and trembling as she pulled away, and forced her eyes open as she let go of him. "Goodbye, Kai."

He gave her a small smile. "Bye, Jin."

They both got up from the bench, Jinora walking to the estate as Kai walked in the direction of the ship now that the rain had let up. She looked back before she got too far, and found him looking back as well. With tears in her eyes, she gave him a small smile and waved at him, her smile growing when he waved back. Finally, she tore her eyes away, and walked back to the house.

He wouldn't be leaving until tomorrow, would give her parents and family his regards, and likewise, of course, but that was how they said goodbye.

Looking back on it, Jinora only wished she'd known how much longer she'd have to wait for another Hello.

###

A week before school started, Kai went dead silent. His letters usually never took more than a week, or a week and a half to reach her, and she kept them where she'd kept all the others, in a periwinkle coloured boxed under her bed. His letters were longer than the ones she'd gotten before his visit back in June, and he'd written to her often, even sending several pages within weeks of the last, a few letters to Rohan and her parents even (though the latter more often received letters from Yung), before all of a sudden they just… stopped.

She waited a week past when she should have gotten a letter before inquiring to her parents whether they had gotten any from Yung, to which they replied they hadn't, her father stroking his beard in mild concern, but she left it at that. Maybe the Waterbender was just sailing somewhere further away, and Kai had forgotten to mention it in his last letter—although he'd always kept her updated on their sailing routes before.

She even asked Lee, once school started. He'd been disappointed, but not surprised, to learn that Kai wasn't coming back to school.

"Are you sure you haven't heard anything from him?"

"I'm sure. Even once my family came back from the city, there wasn't anything. And I went through the mail myself, too." Lee didn't think his parents would throw out Kai's letters, but it certainly wasn't a secret to him that they hadn't approved of him forming a friendship with the boy. He laid a hand on her shoulder, the two of them sitting on his bed; she'd come in the middle of him unpacking in a room built for two but housing only one. "I'm sure he's alright. And he can make it up to you on Valentine's Day, right?" Lee joked.

Jinora gave him a small, miserable smile. "No, actually." She wiped at her nose with the sleeve of her blouse. "We—we broke up. If you can call what we had being together, but…" she shrugged helplessly.

"Oh, Jinora, I'm so sorry…"

"It was for the best. I mean, imagine trying to maintain a relationship from miles away… especially since I haven't even heard from him for over a month now…" She swallowed. "I'm worried something's gone wrong. His letters never took more than a week and a half at most, no matter where he was sailing."

Lee frowned. "There has to be some way we can find out what's going on, I mean, someone has to know about the Waterbender's current whereabouts, right? He wouldn't just stop responding like that unless…" He cut himself off. "He's probably okay. Just...busy. Or sailing somewhere far away."

"I hope so. A-anyway, how was your summer? Your brother must have his hands full, right?"

"Yeah. Shun is doing a great job, father's really proud of him. He's taking over half the market shares and everything." But Lee didn't sound that excited about it, and Jinora didn't push it.

After the first week of classes, she wrote another letter, asking for a reply, however short, and got a small slip of paper in return a few weeks later, in Yung's handwriting too: _We're alive._ And that was it.

For now, she supposed that would have to be enough.

###

"Looks like we're running out of tinder." Lee tossed another old love letter into the bonfire, one of the many Kai hadn't had the time to burn. "We'll probably have to resort to finding our own, or burning up old notes, returned homework, and syllabi," he added with a slight smile.

"Rebellion is becoming on you," Jinora said with a slight chuckle. Her smile faded when she caught some of the words on the next letter Lee threw into the flames. "You know none of the girls that sent him those stupid letters seem to care that he's gone? Even Miki showed more concern than any of those—" Jinora clenched her jaw. "I probably shouldn't finish that." She sighed. "At least I know they're alive."

"They'll be okay. And...even if he doesn't come back to school, he'll come visit you when he's able to. And when he does, tell me, so I can come over and kick his ass for leaving us for so long," he added with a small smile, and Jinora laughed.

"No you wouldn't."

"Yeah. He'd probably win, anyway." Lee smiled when Jinora let out another giggle. "It'll be okay. He's probably just adjusting to being captain." He tossed another letter into the fire, his smile fading. "I'm a little jealous of him, honestly."

"Of him being captain?"

"Of him having the chance to prove himself as a leader." He ripped up another letter, letting the flame lick the edge. "It's dumb."

"No, it's not." She placed a hand on his shoulder. "And you'll get your chance to prove yourself too. Maybe not in your dad's company, but…" she bit her lip. "You'll figure it out. I know you will."

He smiled slightly, glancing at her with a fond look that was all too familiar, even in his dark brown eyes. "Thanks, Jinora."

She squeezed his shoulder. "Thanks for being here, Lee. It'd...be harder, if you weren't around. At least, this way… I know someone's missing him as much as I do."

"I'll always be here."

"I know." Slowly, she rested her head on his shoulder, watching him toss the remaining letters into the fire in comfortable silence. They stayed until the fire died down, before going back inside, not enough space between them for a missing third person.


	12. Fractured

CHAPTER TWELVE: Fractured

Jinora found herself spending more time in Lee's room, either working on homework together or carrying each other through the loneliness, or their political science class, and she got used to Miki and Shen Shen and Pfannee joining them more often than not, all gathered around the two twin beds, one used and one perpetually empty (except for a night where Jinora had passed out in it, too tired to make the trek back to her own room). And school, like always, went on. Some of the girls like Cyntha Wen made fun of her, or Lang Pene gave Lee a hard time, now that Kai wasn't around to defend them, but that was about it, and wasn't any different from the last few months of school the previous year after Kai had become captain.

Jinora was thinking life could continue on as normally as it had been in the years without Kai, when they saw Ranshaw Riker waltzing down the hallway as they were making their way to the library, and Lee immediately tensed.

"Where's the pirate?" Ranshaw demanded with a sly grin. "Everyone's been saying he's not around anymore, and the boys and I have a bet going, y'know, I've bet fifty yuans that he's dead in a ditch somewhere, if he decided to do the world a favour."

Jinora's fists clenched. "Mind your own business," Lee said, his voice firm and even. Sometimes, Lee's ability to remain even more level headed than her only made her feel angrier.

"He is _not_ dead," Jinora hissed, "he was made captain of his ship."

"Must be a sorry ship if he's in charge of it, but then again, he wouldn't let a little whore like you on it. Bet he won't last long. I've heard some pirates tear people limb from limb? Do you think that's what he'll do to people or how he'll die himself, because I think I prefer the latter, for a nasty little bastard like him—"

Jinora spun around and punched him square in the jaw. "Don't you ever," she seethed, "talk about him ever again—"

"Miss Gyatso!" Jinora turned at the sound of Professor Huang's voice, her chest heaving, not even caring to look at Riker on the ground. "What in Raava's name do you think you are doing!"

Jinora rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest as the professor towered over her, fuming. "How many hours of detention?" she asked blandly.

"My office, young lady," he said sternly. "Now."

She glanced back at Lee, whose eyes were still wide with shock, before turning back and following Professor Huang to his office.

Shen Shen had a small grin on her face. "Looks like our little girl has some fire for something other than debating after all."

###

Detention really wasn't so bad. She supposed it was because of the hours of silent solitude she spent in the family library as a child, but even though she wasn't allowed to read, or do anything but write Punching is unladylike in cursive more times than she could count, she didn't regret what she had done, not for a second. If anything, she'd been too lenient, and should have thrown another punch in there, screw her family's stance on pacifism. As for her family, Professor Huang had sent a very long letter to her parents, but she'd made sure to send one too, knowing the professor who had struck Kai across the face last year in front of anyone was hardly unbiased. Her parents probably wouldn't approve, but she hoped they wouldn't be mad, even if this detention was her first blemish on a previously perfect record.

She'd asked her parents if they'd heard from Yung, or Kai, too. Just in case.

Because after all, well… you just never knew when it came to pirates.

###

"Dear," said Pema, perturbed, and he looked over from his armchair in his study, "I just received a letter from St. Bosco's saying Jinora's gotten detention?"

"What? _Jinora_?" Tenzin took the letter Pema handed to him, reading through it carefully. He had expected it from Ikki, maybe, now just starting her first two months at St. Bosco's, but not Jinora, of all his children, she was the best behaved (besides Rohan, who was too young to do any harm). "There must be a mistake."

"I thought that at first, as well. And then I read this letter." Pema slipped another letter into his hand, this time in Jinora's neat cursive.

 _Dear father and mother,_

 _I hope you have received and read this before Professor Huang's, but if not, then I hope you will forgive me for doing what I had to do. Simply put, the boy I was put in detention for hitting, Ranshaw Riker, was saying how he hoped Kai was dead, among other awful things, and I lost my temper. Professor Huang, on the other hand, has made no secret of his dislike and disapproval of Kai last year, from his behaviour in the classroom to smacking Kai across the face in the middle of a crowded hallway, as well as using a ruler to slap his arms. I didn't press against the abuse last year because it never happened again, and mostly because Kai begged me not to, but given his deliberate discrimination against a student, I really do think he should be fired. And I really do hope you'll back me up here, too. I know you don't like to stir the pot, but if there are ever any other students like Kai at the school, I don't ever want them to have to deal with Professor Huang's abuse ever again._

 _Love your daughter,_  
 _Jinora_

P.S. Please make sure not to mention anything about Kai and I to Ikki; it seems her crush has come back full throttle somehow. And if you hear from Yung or Kai or anyone from the Waterbender, would you please let me know? Thank you.

"Huh," was all he could manage, still too surprised, but well, at least there was a suitable reason behind it, even if he didn't approve. "That was unexpected, but it makes sense, I suppose."

"Poor Jinora," Pema murmured.

"I'm sure she knows not to do it again, so I doubt there's any need for real punishment, especially since she was just… defending a friend." Tenzin almost smiled. "Is it strange that I also miss Yung, a little bit?"

"No. I miss him too. It was...nice, having a friend to co-parent with. And I could tell he appreciated it too, as he hadn't had much of a partner in raising Kai." Pema took her husband's hand. "I'm so happy I've had you, to raise my children with."

Tenzin smiled fully this time, the wrinkles that had formed at the corners of his eyes over the years creasing. "I'm grateful for every day I have with you as my partner." He glanced back at the letter, his smile faltering. "I hope they're alright. We've learned so much from Yung… and even Kai."

"They joined our family, and brought us closer to the family we already had." Pema squeezed Tenzin's hand. "It's only natural for us to miss them, and...to be worried."

"Although it isn't fair, for Kai to be ignoring Jinora like this."

"It's not," she agreed, "and who knows the reason for it, but… we also both know he adores her. There must be a good reason." Or a very, very bad one, but she preferred not to think of it like that. "But speaking of brighter things, we've been invited over to the Sonos for the Saturday of the Thanksgiving weekend."

"Well, at least we have that to look forward to. It's been a long time since we've seen the Sonos, other than their youngest."

"Who knew Lee and Kai would end up being friends?" Pema murmured, smiling softly. She let out a soft, slightly sad sigh. "I'm just glad Jinora has him through all of this."

Tenzin kissed her forehead. "As am I, but I'm afraid I really should get back to my paperwork, dear."

"Alright, don't get too stressed in here. And dinner is in an hour."

"I know, love. Thank you."

God above, was he glad he had her.

###

Jinora knew she should have given up already, but when Lee mentioned that he'd tried writing to Kai himself, she couldn't find it in herself to give it up, grabbing a pen and a piece of stationery paper as soon as she had gotten back to her room. She was halfway through, scratching quietly over the creamy paper, when the door opened and Shen Shen and Ikki and one of Ikki's friends, Tuyen Lillian, bursting through the door. They'd clearly come back from a shopping trip, with powdered noses and white clean bags hanging from their arms. Tuyen was a pretty girl (or at least, Jinora could see why Meelo had such a big crush on her) with long brown hair and a flower often tucked behind one ear, although she was much quieter and softer than Ikki was at first glance.

"Have you been here all this time?" Shen Shen said, setting her bags down dramatically.

Jinora snorted, but didn't look up. "I'm in three AP classes. I don't have time to go shopping."

"Well I'm in two and I find time to." Shen Shen glanced over Jinora's shoulder. "Besides, that doesn't look like studying. Sweetie, he's not going to respond—"

"Who's not going to respond?" Ikki asked.

"None of your business," Jinora said curtly, jerking the paper away from Shen Shen's prying gaze.

"Are you writing to Kai?" Ikki asked, and even Tuyen looked up in interest.

Jinora sighed, biting her lip. "I'm just worried. I mean, I know he's okay, but he—he can't be that okay if he's not replying, now can he?"

"He's probably just busy," said Shen Shen. "Or...I know you don't want to hear this, but maybe he doesn't want to respond—"

"He's my best friend, of course he wants to respond—"

"He's captain of a ship now. He's probably meeting lots of people—"

"You don't know him, Shen. He promised. He promised he'd write me, and he did, until he suddenly just stopped with no explanation, and it just doesn't make any sense." Jinora blinked rapidly, and then buried her face in one of her pillows.

"He's written to me," Ikki piped up.

Jinora's head shot back up. "What?"

"Just last week. Only once. He didn't say a lot, just that he and the crew were okay, and busy. But he asked how I am, and Meelo said he got a letter too, and uh, he said to say hi to you, but I thought you also would've gotten a letter to you."

"No," Jinora said stoutly. "I haven't gotten a thing since before September."

"Did you fight?"

"No! Well yes, but we made up. And that was before he left. And his letters were… normal. Friendly." She thought of his signature signing off: _Always yours_.

"Do—" Ikki seemed unable to contain her excitement. "Do you think it's a good sign, that he asked how I am?" Shen Shen pressed her lips together, trying not to smile.

"He wrote to Meelo too, didn't he?" Jinora said bitterly. "And he's not that close with either of you. It probably doesn't mean anything, Ikki."

"But he didn't ask how Meelo was doing, just that he hoped he was doing well, and—"

"Leave it alone, Ikki."

"But—"

"Leave me alone! Kai doesn't care about you, alright?"

Ikki's face fell. "How could you say that, he—"

"He barely talks to you when he's at home, or here, and he only sent you a letter that one time, so save yourself the disappointment and give up on it, okay?"

Ikki's bottom lip trembled. "Just because he didn't want to write to you doesn't mean you get to be mean to me!"

" _Get out_."

Ikki grabbed Tuyen's hand, and then marched out of the room, slamming the door shut beside them.

"That was harsh," Shen Shen said.

"Ikki was being self-absorbed as always, she doesn't even _care_ how he's doing—"

"Oh, you don't have to justify yourself to me. It's actually made being your roommate a lot more interesting."

Jinora crossed her arms, frowning. "Nice to know my distress is entertaining for you."

"Look, just tell your sister that you love Kai, and everything can be nicely smoothed over. Like my manicure." Shen Shen tucked a strand of glossy black hair behind her ear with perfectly manicured red nails. "Just got them done this afternoon. It's amazing, what a little maintenance can do." She sat down in her bed, folding her hands in her lap. "Really, you should tell her how you feel about him."

"I…" Jinora glanced back at her unfinished letter. "What if you're right, though? If...if he's meeting new people, and moving on without me?"

"Do you really think that would be enough of a reason for him to take so long to reach out to anyone? Or for—you said his dad, Yung, stopped writing too?"

"The last I heard from Yung was a note I got a couple weeks after school started. 'We're still alive.' That was all I got. Kai hasn't sent me anything. And we said—we said we were okay with not being a, a thing."

"Wait, you and Kai actually talked about the fact you both—?"

"We did, and we… I don't know if it's really breaking up if we never had a chance to date. We talked, well, kissed, last March—well, New Year's Eve if we're being accurate, but that didn't really count—and decided to figure things out after he won the captainship, but then he had to go, so we kind of left things up in the air, until he visited in June, and we decided… there just wasn't a time and place for us yet. Well, he did, but I agreed, too, and…" Jinora blinked rapidly. "And now I just—I just don't know what's going on."

Shen Shen sat on the bed next to her and wrapped an arm around her. "Jinora, you wanna know why I never bothered flirting with Kai?"

"Why?" she croaked.

"Because as cute as he was flustered, I also knew it was useless." Shen Shen used her dress sleeve to wipe under Jinora's eyes. "He only had eyes for you."

Jinora burst into tears, burying her face in her hands. Shen Shen gently rubbed her back, looking mildly put out she had increased the crying rather than stemming it. "I'm sorry," Jinora mumbled. "I just—I miss him so much and I wish he'd just actually talk to me—"

"Maybe he doesn't know what to say."

"We've always been able to talk, I don't know why…"

"He might not write back soon. I can't tell you why. But...you'll see him again. I'll make sure of it." More like she was planning to hunt down his scrawny ass and drag him back here, for good measure, but still. Her family had money, and money meant resources. She'd figure it out later when Jinora wasn't around.

"Thanks, Shen Shen. I...I should talk to Ikki. Tomorrow. I just…" She glanced down at the letter she had cast aside. "I just want to finish writing this."

"Alright. I'll be back later, do you want me to get anything?"

Jinora shook her head. "I might just spend the rest of the day with Lee, after this."

Shen Shen gave her a thin smile. "Alright. Have fun, girlie."

"Thanks, Shen." She turned back to her letter once Shen Shen left the room. She'd write this letter, and then she'd let him go, and it would be up to him, to come back to her. She was tired of feeling miserable and lonely, and now that it had made her hurt Ikki, she knew it had gone too far.

Until he replied or came back, this would have to be the last letter. She pressed a kiss to the page, before folding it up and slipping it into a sturdy pre-addressed envelope.

Now, only time would tell.

###

Life without Kai—or rather, life without thinking about him, as much as she could manage—was better and worse in its own ways. Even when she worried about him, it wasn't as immediate and pressing as it was before, and she grew talented at finding distractions, like studying with Miki, going out to dinner with Pfannee, shopping with Shen Shen, and mostly, going on walks with Lee. There would be painful aches sometimes, when she remembered that Kai had written to her siblings and not to her, but she got better and better at pushing it aside. If he didn't want to talk to her, and he clearly didn't, for whatever reason, then she wouldn't waste her time thinking about him. She'd been perfectly fine without him before (mostly—technically—alright, sort of) and she could be perfectly fine… mostly sort of alright without him now too.

In moments where she missed him like a gaping hole in her chest, however, she could always find solace in Lee. He'd always been so easy to get along with, as similar as they were, and she never felt like she had to put up a fight just to get him to be honest about how he was feeling. He understood some of the pressures of high society life, was ecstatic she was being allowed more freedom, and she never had to worry about him going off and doing something stupid or life threatening.

He was safe and steady and stable, and right next to her, the way he had been since the day they'd met when they were children.

"I'm glad I'm getting to see you over Thanksgiving," she said. The anniversary of the Fire Nation and the rest of the world celebrating the final official peace talk that had ended the war had always been one of her favourite holidays.

"Me too," said Lee. They were on the rooftop again, this time burning piles of old homework from last year. Some old cigarette buds were still on the floor, from Kai, she supposed. "Our families have always gotten along well."

The Sonos had helped fund her father's campaign a few times as well, and Jinora thought of how easy their families had come together. No awkward silences or barriers to get over. It'd been so easy.

"I really missed you over the summer," Lee continued, and Jinora smiled, and bumped her shoulder with his, not that surprised that she felt a pleasant heat rise in her cheeks. So what if she liked Lee now, too?

It was still so easy.

She rested her head on his shoulder, curling into his warmth. "I missed you too."

"I don't think my family's going anywhere this summer, maybe I could stop by more often?"

She smiled slightly, glancing up at him. "Are you inviting yourself over?"

"Oh, no, I just—"

Jinora wondered when he'd become so adorable when flustered, but didn't give herself much time to think about it as she closed the distance between them, kissing him softly. His lips were soft, and smooth, and it surprised her at first, and clearly he was too, since he was unresponsive for a moment, before he began to tentatively kiss her back.

He was so, so gentle. Almost too gentle, she found, but she cupped the side of his face, kissing him harder, before slowly pulling away.

Lee's eyes were wide when they slowly opened, searching her face. "Was that…" he cleared his throat. "It's—was that just because he's gone?"

"Who's gone?"

His jaw clenched. "Jinora, you know what I'm talking about."

"What…" Her throat tightened when she realized who he was speaking of. "Kai?"

"I don't want to be your second choice. Even if you're my first."

Jinora's heart clenched. "You're not, I swear—"

"I've never held it against either of you that you like him. It's okay, I just...don't want to be your backup plan."

"Lee—"

"I should go, I—I'll see you after class."

Jinora grabbed his arm. "Listen to me," she said, almost sternly. "You are not my second choice. You know Kai and I already decided not to be together, regardless of whether he was coming back to school or not. And I've let him go. I really have. And you are right here, like you've always been, and maybe it's taken me awhile to realize that but I… I like you, Lee. A lot." Her hand slipped down to his, her fingers fitting between his as they interlocked. "You've been my best friend for years, I… I know a lot's happened, but I really, really like you. Ever since we got back to school, the one thing I've looked forward to most is being here, with you. Even if I never noticed that before. Just...please, believe me, if nothing else."

Lee's brow furrowed, but a hesitant smile was forming on his face, before it quickly faded. "If he was here, would you want to be with me anyway?"

And Jinora thought she was sure—she really really did, and knew this was what mattered most to Lee, that he'd either kiss her or go depending on her answer, and she thought she was sure, so she said, "Yes."

And that was that. For now, at least.

###

Thanksgiving was as cozy and grand as ever, with large banquet spreads far too big for only two families during the entire weekend. The Sonos stayed in their own part of the guest wing, and for the first time in a while, Jinora felt completely at peace. Lee's parents were just as kind to her as ever, and Lee's brother was nice, though she could tell Lee himself wasn't as happy to have him back around for the holidays.

So she took him into the gardens, or the library, anywhere where they could be alone, and hoped her parents weren't paying too much attention, as she didn't want to have to answer their prying questions.

Conversations around the dining table largely consisted of inquiries about school, the Sono business, and how Lee's older brother, Shun, was slowly taking it over from his parents, and quite successfully too, and a few extravagant stories or boasts from Ikki and Meelo respectively.

"—once I'm in the United Forces," Meelo said, as one of the servants poured all of them a glass of Lychee juice for Sunday night's dinner, "there'll never be another war again."

Mrs. Sono looked amused, with dark wavy hair and paler skin like her son. "You don't want to follow in your father's footsteps? Shun's done so well, after all."

"It's an improvement from his plan when he was seven," Jinora said dryly, smiling, "and wanted to be a pirate."

"Which reminds me, Lee," Mr Sono said, "I thought the APA was coming to your school in the spring to give a recruitment presentation? You expressed interest in that in first year."

Lee fell silent for a moment, and Jinora watched him carefully. "Yes, well, er...I'm not quite as interested, anymore, father."

"It'd be a good career for you."

"I'm not going to hunt down pirates, father," Lee said shortly.

Mrs Sono sighed. "Is it because of that boy?"

"My friend, Kai? And a good friend to our gracious hosts? Why, yes it is."

Mr. Sono let out a long sigh. "No offense meant to you, Governor, and Mrs. Gyatso," he said, before looking back at Lee, "but you can't pretend that all pirates are like him."

"I can't assume that they all aren't. The APA wants only to hunt them down, eradicate them. There's not even a chance for any of them to reform, or find legal work to survive—"

"I like Kai," Rohan spoke up suddenly. "I miss him."

The entire table went silent for a moment. "I miss him too," Lee said after a few moments, giving Rohan a sympathetic smile.

"Just tread carefully, little brother," Shun said, cutting up a piece of his turkey, all the Gyatso plates being absent of it, of course. "Whatever you do reflects on the family name, and business."

Perhaps not as much as Lee would like it, Jinora thought, as he gave his brother a stony scowl. "Yes, Shun." The two brothers looked alike, with the same dark wavy hair, pale skin, and green eyes like their father's, although Shun's jaw was sharper and more squarelike than Lee's, although Jinora supposed that would change as Lee grew older.

Her father started talking about politics, and luckily the awkwardness disappeared after that, although Lee stayed largely silent for the rest of the dinner. Jinora took his hand under the table, running her thumb over his knuckles, and it was easy to sneak away to his family's library. It was smaller and with less natural light than her own, but it was private, and that was what mattered.

"You okay?" she asked softly.

"Shun's so frustrating sometimes," Lee grumbled. "He always thinks he's right and he plays into that stupid golden boy narrative—my parents didn't even think about giving me a place in the company even though I'm their son too, even if I can't be as perfect as he is—" He let out a huff. "I'm sorry, I just—"

"Don't be." She squeezed his hand. "That was...really brave of you, to stand up for Kai like that."

"Of course, I wasn't going to let my family rip him apart just because they don't listen to me." Lee cracked a smile. "And thank God for Rohan, honestly."

Jinora smiled sadly. "Yeah, he's been okay since he heard that…" Her smile faded. "That Kai wrote to Ikki and Meelo, but no one's heard anything from him since, and Rohan deserves better, and…" She sighed. "So do you."

"Hmm?"

"You deserve better than to have a friend that never even writes back to you and gets you in trouble with your family anyway."

"He didn't mean to—"

"He just disappears and you still put yourself on the line for him, I—it's just not fair."

Lee looked at her. "Did I ever tell you why Kai and I started warming up to each other?"

Her brow furrowed slightly. "No, you haven't."

"It was early on, but one night… he woke up screaming, from a nightmare, and I think that's when he started going up to the roof. Or maybe he had before then and I just didn't notice, but I followed him up to the roof and I saw him standing there near the edge, looking down, and for a second, I thought he was going to—" Lee cleared this throat. "But he sat down and had a cigarette instead, and we talked… about you, mostly, and I realized how much he cared about you so I thought—hey, he couldn't be all that bad."

Jinora's eyes burned, and she blinked quickly. "Well, clearly he doesn't care enough."

"Jinora—"

"Lee, you're...amazing, and I appreciate how forgiving you are, but I, for one, am done with things that...skip town and don't answer my letters."

Lee slowly gave her a sad, small smile. "Alright, Jin." He leaned over and kissed her forehead. "I should probably go back to my family, but you can stay in here as long as you'd like."

"You can't stay a little longer?"

"We'll have plenty of time back in here later. At least consider coming back to have dessert, when you're ready?"

"I will." She watched him leave, a soft warmth blooming in her chest.

 _Jin._ She hadn't realized how much she'd missed being called that until… it was strange to hear it from Lee's mouth, but not entirely unpleasant. And she'd get used to it, like it more, in time. Besides, now the person using that nickname was someone who was always here, someone who was finally easy on her heart.

She left the library a little more at ease, smiling when she took her place next to Lee for dessert, their hands interlocking under the table.

For now, things were okay, and it was enough.

###

The nightmares had gotten so much worse.

Kai had elected to not sleeping as much as he could help it, managing only a couple hours of sleep on a good night, instead going over charts, schedules, bills, and, every so often, writing out another draft of a letter that he always ended up throwing in the trash in the end. Sometimes he borrowed Skoochy's lighter and burned them, but most of the time, he didn't trust himself around fire, or anything, really, even if he knew he could really go for a cigarette. Anything to get his head on straight again.

He glanced over that the corner of his room, at a small frame that was set laying face-down, the small stand sticking up. Even if it was only a picture, he wasn't sure if he wanted her to be looking at him the way he was.

There was a knock at his door, and Kai let out a quiet huff, looking up at his clock on the wall. "Who is it?" he called, knowing of only two people who would ever knock on his door at three in the morning.

"It's Yung. Open up."

Sighing, Kai got up and shuffled over to the door, opening it. "What is it, Yung?"

"You should at least be trying to sleep, kid."

"Well you would have woken me up with the knock anyway, so," Kai shrugged. Yung pressed his lips into a straight line.

"This isn't healthy, Kai."

"I'm fine."

"You're doing too much on too little energy. You need to slow down."

"I got some of the budgeting worked out for this month, I'll have Otaku look through it later—"

"Did you not hear me, Kai?"

"I did, I just—I can't be left alone with my thoughts right now."

"Kai," Yung said slowly, "I...I think it's time for you to take a break."

Kai snorted. "Sorry, I can't get a full night's sleep no matter how hard I try, but thanks for the—"

"I've enrolled you back in St. Bosco's, and the Gyatsos and I have already paid the deposit. We're heading to Port Bosco now, and you'll start back in January—"

His voice turned deadly calm. "You. Did. _What_?"

"You wanted to go back, before—"

And then the rage exploded, spluttering out of him. "Before I slaughtered—before I snapped—you know I can't be around people right now, I can barely get out of bed with the crew, _why the fuck would you think this is a good idea_ —how could you do this to me _without asking_ —"

"Before you were my captain, you were my kid!" Yung lowered his voice. "The crew lets you be comfortable. Too comfortable. I know things are rough right now, but what we're doing right now isn't working and I don't—let's just give this a try. You can stay until March, or I can pick you up earlier, but—you'll see Jinora, again, isn't that a good thing?"

"I can't see her," he said, his voice breaking. "I don't—I don't want her to see me like this. To know what I've done. She's going to hate me, if she doesn't already."

"She loves you."

"You don't know if she still does."

"If I still love you after you've been trying to shut me out, then I know that she still does, too."

"You're different. You—you've never cared that I'm a monster. She thinks—she thought I was a hero." Kai raked his hands through his hair, and then dragged them down his face, and blinked rapidly. His stupid hands were shaking again. "I can't do this, Yung, I—I'm tired. I'm so tired of everything."

"You are not a monster. And...you can't keep carrying on the way you have. No matter how draining school can be, going on like this will suck the life out of you." Yung took his shoulders. "I can't watch you burn yourself from the inside."

"I can't live anymore, Yung, any food I eat makes me sick to my stomach and I can't sleep and I don't deserve you, I don't deserve any of you—but I'm still here, I'm still surviving. Isn't that enough?" He stared at his own hands, remembering the thick blood that had coated them. "I killed all those men. And they deserved it. They did. So why do I still feel this way?"

"I don't know," Yung said softly, and he brushed Kai's hair off his brow gently with one hand. "But I know you deserve to feel like you deserve the love you have, and more. You deserve to be happy to live. I...I don't know exactly what to do, but I've thought a lot about how to get you there, and I think school is a step towards that. And even if it isn't, it's a step towards a life where you don't have to be a pirate, where you never have to feel like this again because you've had to do things and go through things no person of any age should have to go through. And you are _not_ what you have been through, Kai. You are the aftermath, however long it takes to get there, and I'm here. If you want me to come to school for any reason, you don't even have to send me a letter, just send me a scrap of paper with my name on it, and I'll come running. I promise. I promise you're going to be okay."

Kai's bottom lip trembled. "I don't want to be there without you."

"I'll stay at the Gyatso estate, and Lefty will be in charge. I'll be able to get to you that much faster, if you need me. And Jinora—"

"Shouldn't have to be around me again, not after—"

" _You are not what you've been through_. Maybe she won't understand right away, but she'll try. I hope you learn soon that people who love you won't stop so easily. And you have other friends that will try to understand, don't you?"

"The closest to that is Lee, who's too good, and just—they're both too good, I—Lee likes her too, and he'll treat her better than I ever could, he won't just up and leave her—"

"You didn't want to leave her."

"But I still did. They're better off without me—"

"They're very clearly not, do you know how many letters we've gotten from those two alone? Besides, you'll never know where you stand with them if you don't try going back. Don't you at least want some closure? For your sake and theirs?"

"I guess," Kai mumbled. "I'll—I'll go. But just because it's already been paid for, and I don't want to waste anymore of the Gyatsos' money."

Yung let out a soft snort. "That's my boy. We'll help you get packed, and then we'll be at Port Bosco in a few weeks. We'll all even stay at an inn for a while, a break before school. And don't worry, it's still within the budget." He gave Kai's shoulder a gentle squeeze. "Now get some rest, kiddo."

"I'll try," he mumbled. "Thanks, Yung. Could…" he rubbed at his eyes. "Could you stay? So that if the nightmares come, I'm not—I'm not alone?"

Yung stepped inside, placing a hand on Kai's back. "Of course." He pulled his kid into a hug, and they stayed like that until Kai found it in him to pull away, before crawling into his messy bed and curling in on himself. Yung sat in the desk chair, and when Kai woke up breathing hard a few hours later, Yung was still in the chair, slouched over and snoring softly.

He let his breathing still, and the ice cold sweat on his skin cool, before he laid there in the darkness. At least for once it didn't hurt so much to breathe.

###

He was dropped off early, so he could get moved back into his room, on the Day of the Blade, about the 8th of January. The Gyatsos had been generous and sent a few of their servants to help him move in, but they mainly carried in what he'd left at the Gyatsos, or what they had provided for him—fencing equipment, notebooks, textbooks, and the like—while he only brought a few of his old clothes, and some photos, in an old suitcase.

"Remember, I'm only half a day away," Yung said as they hugged not for the first time on the trip.

"I know." Kai was just grateful he'd managed to wrangle a small single room for himself, so he wouldn't have to worry about a roommate this term. "Let's just see if I make it through the week."

"You can do it. And please don't shut yourself in your room. Talk to your friends."

He sighed. "If they want to talk to me. I'll try," he said, at seeing Yung's stern expression. "And I'll write you often. At least once a week. Okay? I-I promise."

"Okay." Yung gave him a smile. "I'm proud of you, whatever happens."

"Thanks, Yung. For everything." He gave him one last hug, before taking his suitcase and walking up to the dorms, taking the stairs instead of the school's elevator, not wanting to run into anyone if he could help it. Not only did he have to avoid Jinora and Lee and their friends, but all the other kids and bullies who would surely be curious about his absence.

His room turned out to be only a couple over from where he emerged from the staircase, so he dug his key out of his pocket and opened his door. He dragged his stuff in and then sat down on his bed, only having the heart to pull his sheets over it and leaving everything to be unpacked later.

Baby steps, he reminded himself. Doing just one thing was better than doing nothing.

###

Jinora only told her family and her friends about her new relationship with Lee, but supposed word would spread whether she wanted to or not, now that they were back for their first day of school, so she held his hand unabashedly as they walked to their next class. Even still, people seemed to be staring and whispering far more than they ever had before. It was the last period of the day; how was there this much gossip already? And her and Lee had good reputations, didn't they?

Jinora made a mental note to ask Shen Shen about it later. She hadn't seen the girl since their second period economics class, but she was usually up to date on all the school gossip.

"Do you think we should—?" Lee said, but Jinora just squeezed his hand and held on tighter.

"Just ignore them." After all, she'd gotten used to the staring while walking with Kai all of last year.

So they went to class, and it was only when they were coming out into the hallway that Jinora saw what all the trouble was about.

The rest of the world seemed to slow down when she saw that familiar head of messy, dark hair, shaven along the sides, her heart pounding loudly in her ears as their eyes very briefly met. He looked different again, she noted. He was taller, older, tired. Incredibly tired.

But he was here.

What the hell was he doing here?

"Jin?" The world came back into focus, but only partially as she turned towards Lee, who clearly hadn't seen him yet, and then she glanced back at Kai to find him turning and walking away from her. Again.

 _Oh hell no._

She slipped her hand out of Lee's and darted down the hall, pushing past others passing by, as she reached out and grabbed the back of Kai's shirt before he could move any further away. He was surprisingly solid, warm, but he looked like he'd lost a lot of weight in a short amount time, but it was enough to convince her that he was really here.

He stopped short as she yanked him back, turning and smiling tiredly, almost regretfully. "Jin."

"Don't _Jin_ me—where the hell have you been? What are you doing here?"

"It's complicated." He wormed his way out of her grip.

"Try me," she said tersely.

Kai glanced around at the people who were freely staring, and sent them a glower, looking for a moment like his old self, even if the anger behind his eyes seemed to burn brighter than it had. "Not here."

"Fine. Where?"

"After class, okay? I'll meet you at—"

"No. Tell me where you're staying now."

"I'm up at a room on my own, on the seventh floor. Room 401. And… just you. Please. I know Lee probably…."

"Fine. It'll just be me. For now. And you better be there this time." She turned, paused, then turned back to him. "And you better talk to Lee at some point, too. He really stuck out his neck for you over Thanksgiving."

Kai ran a hand through his hair. The shaven sides were a little sloppy, up close, Jinora noticed. Not as clean cut as they always had been. "I can imagine. I'll—I'll see you later, okay?"

"You better." She turned around a final time, a twisted sense of satisfaction swelling inside her at knowing that she was the one leaving this time.

###

She found Kai outside his door after class, a green backpack slung over his shoulders as he fitted his room key in his lock. He fumbled with it for a moment, not knowing she was there yet, and cursed furiously under his breath; the key started scraping against the hole, missing it each time. His hands were shaking, although she had no idea as of why.

"Kai?"

He swore and nearly dropped the key, turning towards her. "H-hey. Just—our locks are different, so…" His hands curled into fists.

Jinora rolled her eyes, then held out her hand. Kai passed the key over, careful not to let their fingers brush, and she ignored him as she put the key in the lock and turned the door. "There."

"Thanks," Kai mumbled, holding the door open for her. He didn't close it once he followed in after her, and it surprised her how much his room was a mess. His room on the ship hadn't been neat, exactly, but it was still somewhat organized. This was a flat out disaster, with dirty clothes everywhere, a pillow under the bed (that looked like maybe it was ripped, but she couldn't tell) and a photograph of the crew on his dresser. The only thing that seemed to have some kind of order was his school books, stacked neatly on his desk next to an unopened package of stationary.

"You wrote to Ikki and Meelo," Jinora said, her voice cold.

"I did," he admitted, tapping his fingers over his leg nervously.

"And not to me."

"I didn't know what to say."

"Say about what? All you had to do was write a few sentences every once in awhile— _hey Jin, what's up with you, I'm good_ —but no, you stopped writing for weeks and then Yung— _Yung_ —took pity on me and told me that you were alive, and that was it, Kai, I-I was worried about you, you stupid—" She huffed in frustration. "And then you don't even tell me that you're coming back?"

"I only found out a week ago. A letter wouldn't have reached you in time."

Jinora scoffed. "Found out? What, so it wasn't your decision?"

"Not really." Kai shifted, sitting on his bed and looking at the floor, as she glared down at him. "Yung thought it might be a good idea…" he fidgeted with his hands. "For me to—to have a change."

"Sounds like Yung, I suppose. So were you planning to hide out from me for as long as you could, or—"

"I didn't know what to—"

"Didn't know what to say, right," Jinora finished harshly. "Look, if it was that you met someone new, or something, you could have just told me! I'm with Lee now, after all and—"

"I know."

"You do? How?"

"It's been kind of impossible to miss all the whispering. And I saw you holding hands, so," he shrugged. "I'm happy for you both."

"Don't—You could have told me if you'd met someone, or just didn't want to talk to me anymore—I don't even know what I did wrong—" Her voice broke, and Kai's face fell.

"You didn't do anything wrong. I—I'm the one who did something wrong. And I didn't meet someone else, I…" His throat tightened. "It's been a really hard year, okay? Since August it's been… it's been hard, and I'm still…" He took a deep, shaky breath. "Is there anything else you want to yell at me for?" It wasn't an accusation, but a simple statement.

"I was so worried, for so long, you…" Her voice died in her throat. "I just wanted you to say something, Kai."

"I tried," he admitted. "A lot. There was so much I wanted to—to say, and I didn't know how to say any of it, or where to start, or—" Panic was rising in his throat and he choked it down. "I should've written you. I'm sorry. It was easier to write to Ikki and Meelo because at least I can bear disappointing them, because they don't know me, but… it turns out you don't know me now either, so I'll—I'll write in the future. If you want."

Jinora's expression softened, if only a little. "I hate when you shut me out like that," she said quietly. "But, Kai," she took a seat next to him, and he seemed to hold back a flinch, "I do know you—"

"No you don't." He didn't seem angry, or defensive, but nervous, and a little ashamed. "You don't know me anymore, I don't even know me anymore—"

"Then let me know you again."

"You don't know what you're asking for. You don't know what I am, what I've done, and you never should."

"Yes I should, you—"

"No, because you're—you're just a stupid spoiled little rich girl and there's no way you could understand it, any of it! You don't get it! You don't get what you're asking of me! You don't know me and you don't understand anything about who I am!"

Jinora's bottom lip trembled, and her eyes watered as she glared at him. "I know exactly who you are—I know that you're a stupid selfish jerk who skips town and doesn't care about anyone he leaves behind, that you're a—a _pirate_!" For the first time she said it like it was a nasty word. "I'm surprised you didn't just fuck me and go!"

"Then go!" He pointed at the door. "Leave! See if I care!"

"Fine!" She got up, leaving with a huff and slamming the door behind her. She wished she'd never helped him open the stupid thing in the first place.

When she got back to her room, she locked the door so no one would interrupt her—Shen Shen would get the hint, and stay with Miki and Pfannee—then buried herself in her comforter and cried. Her cheeks were wet and her eyes were stinging when there was a knock at her door, and a yell rose in her throat before a voice said, "It's Lee. Can I come in?" Jinora wiped at her face, wrapping a blanket around her as she got up to unlock the door. Her bottom lip trembled as she opened it, and she fell into Lee's arms, trembling as she muffled her sobs in his shoulder.

"I hate him, I hate him—"

Lee gently rubbed her back. "Jinora, what happened?"

"He's so stupid—" She swallowed hard. "He—he barely even said sorry—"

Lee guided her back into the room, setting her on the edge of the bed. "What else did he say?"

"He called me stupid and—I hate him so much—"

Lee sat down next to her, hugging her tightly. "I'm sorry," he murmured, and Jinora shook her head.

"It's not your fault he's a jackass. A stupid selfish jackass. I hate him. I wish he'd never come back—I was fine without him—I never want to see him again."

Lee slowly rubbed her upper arm. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Stay," she mumbled. "Please."

"Of course."

And he did, even if he fell asleep first and she stayed awake with dry eyes staring at the ceiling, and stubbornly ignoring the fact that one angry, hurtful conversation with Kai had made her heart pound faster than any kiss with Lee ever had.

###

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

Kai knew they'd come for him eventually. He was honestly surprised it had taken Shen Shen, Pfannee, and Miki a week to corner him on his way out of the library to go back to his room for the night.

"I have a feeling you're going to tell me," he said wryly, looking at Miki, who had spoken.

"I really, really hoped I was going to be wrong about you, you know? I didn't want to be right about this but I was, you insufferable jackass—"

"And why the hell did you say all that shit to Jinora?" Shen Shen broke in.

"It's better for everyone if she just leaves me alone," Kai said quietly.

"The way you left her?" Pfannee said, brown eyes bright with angry tears.

"I guess, yeah."

"You absolute ass," Shen Shen hissed.

Kai sighed tiredly. "Look, if you're all here to tell me what a terrible fucking person I am, you don't need to tell me. I already know. I know I've hurt her, and I know I don't deserve to be here, so just leave me alone, please? I was already planning on staying out of your way."

"Why did you do it?"

"Does it matter? Now she'll never talk to a dirty, selfish pirate like me ever again. That's what you all wanted, right? From the moment I showed up? Well now you have it. There, happy, now? Now leave me alone." Kai grabbed his books and shoved past them, vowing to avoid them too as much as he possibly could. He was here to get out of bed everyday and go to class and do whatever else Yung wanted in hopes of making him happier, but he didn't owe anyone else anything.

Especially not when he was a bomb just waiting to go off again, and no one, least of all Jinora, deserved to get caught up in the explosion again.

###

It didn't take long for the bullies to come poking around too. Most of them were too scared to do more than taunt him, and Kai didn't even rise to their bait, even when they mentioned Jinora—the less she was associated with him, the better. Mostly he got up and ate breakfast alone, and went to class and kept his head down and did his work. With no friends and raging insomnia he'd read and written more than he'd ever have in his life, and it was showing in his grades, or at least hopefully, so maybe one good thing could come out of all this. He showered regularly and got out of bed every day except on the weekends, so he could avoid more wary stares and prying questions than he already got; no one here would understand, after all. He answered Yung's letters and smoked out behind the school instead of on the roof. Not only did he not trust himself there, but ever since bringing Lee and Jin and the girls up there, the space was no longer his, and he didn't want to take it away from them, or hurt them anymore than he already had.

But there was no place to truly call his own, not here, except maybe his room, and he realized that when he was shoved to the ground while trying to smoke behind the classrooms at night, on one of the rare occasions he could actually get his damn hands to cooperate in working the lighter.

He reached for his dagger before remembering it wasn't there, and swore, pushing himself to his knees and looking up through the darkness. He found a few familiar faces sneering back at him before he was kicked in the gut, the air momentarily knocked out of him.

"Not much of a threat without your little girlfriend around, huh?" one of them said, and he recognized them as Lang Pene. "Though I guess she's not your girlfriend anymore, now that she's screwing Sono."

"Shut up," Kai said through gritted teeth. He let out a grunt as Pene kicked him hard in the gut, and another hit him in the face with their knee.

He waited for the familiar fire to start under his skin, rage and survival mostly coming together, making him choke back the pain and get up and curl his fingers into fists… But it never came, and all he could find was wanting to curl up in a ball and let them beat him because maybe… maybe he deserved this. Maybe this would be better than feeling numb or angry all the time.

A dull pain throbbed against the back of his head, and for a moment everything was quiet, as if he was underwater. He saw a rock fall in front of his face, blurry and slow, and he wondered if he had been hit with it, when he figured there wasn't any point… There was something warm and sticky on the back of his head as he shut his swollen eyes, the panicking of the boys around him growing dim and distant in his ears. They were leaving now? He couldn't be sure. Everything around him was cold, February winters, he knew, but the warm stickiness wasn't going away. Maybe that was a good thing?

Most of all, he knew he was tired, his eyes heavy even though they were already closed. He vaguely remembered something Yung had told him, warning him not to fall asleep in the cold, but he was so tired, and for once, everything was slow, and quiet, and his mind didn't feel full of screaming and whispers.

There were worse places to sleep.

###

Kai didn't expect to wake up feeling so warm. He also felt sore all over, and his head felt far too heavy, but he was warm, and dry, other than something warm on the back of his head. He thought it was blood at first, but it was too runny, too refreshing, and it was being dabbed against the back of his head. He opened his mouth to speak, but stopped when he realized that he was laying face-down, his forehead propped on a pillow so he could breathe.

"Sit still, asshole," came an angry but quiet voice above him, and his first thought was Skoochy, before he realized the teenager's hair was too neat and he was too pale to be his crewmate. "If you fall and bash your head in again I'm not cleaning it up this time."

"...Lee?"

"Be quiet, I've only just been able to stop the bleeding." Lee lifted his head slightly, wrapping something soft and dry and warm around it. "Or slow it, anyway. Was this an illegal sort of fight, or fall, or—"

"It wasn't illegal," Kai muttered. "And I didn't fall, I got… jumped."

"So it was technically illegal," Lee said, "just not on your part. Who was it, though? I mean, they must've been part of some sort of gang to—"

"It wasn't a gang. It was just… some of the guys who hate me, that's all."

"They… they got the jump on you?"

"Yes, alright?!" Kai snapped.

"Easy." Lee tightened the bandage gently, then set his forehead back down on the pillow. "I've seen you fight all of those guys single handedly and barely break a sweat. I was just surprised. You're lucky I saw you from the roof."

Kai's voice softened. "Does Jinora know?"

"No."

"Good. Let's keep it that way."

"Kai, they could have killed you. They left you out there in the cold after beating the shit out of you, you have to tell the teachers, and go to the nurse."

"No, I don't. Longshot gave me potions in case… in case I got in over my head. It'll repair any possible damage. And I can cover up the bruises, too, Imaru got me some stuff to cover my tattoos with but I never use it, so… using it on my face can't be that much different."

"You can't just hide this away, Kai."

"Watch me."

"I'll tell the teachers myself."

"And I'll say you're lying." Kai pushed himself into a sitting position, twisting over so he was sitting on his bum rather than lying on his stomach. "Look, Sono, I appreciate you patching me up, but I don't need your help. I'm fine. I can handle myself."

"Clearly," Lee deadpanned, a frown tugging at his features. "You know how shitty it would've been if you'd died?"

"No." Kai pursed his lips, and then pushed himself out of bed, wincing as he bent down to pick up his shirt despite the blood, and started turning it inside out before tugging it on, and doing up the buttons, careful to mind his chest. "I thought you'd be pissed at me too. Like Jinora. And the girls."

"I was. Especially after I saw Jinora crying after she'd talked to you."

"She said some nasty things too. And she doesn't… understand. None of you do. None of you can. If I wasn't fucked up beyond repair before than I am now and… it's time to take care of the collateral damage. That's all. It doesn't have to be personal."

"So we're collateral damage now?"

"No, you—you don't know what I've been through over the past few months, okay?"

"Maybe because you haven't told any of us."

"You wouldn't understand!"

"Still holding on to that excuse?"

"If you had to live my life you wouldn't be standing here right now, Sono!"

"Maybe I wouldn't! And maybe I wouldn't understand, but you never even gave any of us a chance!"

"I don't deserve that chance, okay? I'm fucked up and a disaster and broken and I ruin everything I touch and everyone I love dies or leaves me or I leave them so just—leave—me—the fuck—alone!"

"No!" Lee's eyes were spitting fire. "This isn't all about you, you dipshit! People care about you and you left them with fucking nothing and Jinora was devastated when you were gone and I'm the one who had to pick up the pieces, and I know she acts like she's cold and doesn't care but _she does care_ , Kai, and you dying or leaving or whatever will never change that!" His jaw was clenched, and he shoved Kai in the shoulder. "We might give you space just because you become a fucking asshat without it, but we're never leaving you, no matter what happens. Deal with it."

Kai winced, rubbing his shoulder, and glared back at Lee. "Do you really want to know what I did?" he hissed. "Do you?" There was a beat of silence, as Lee just stared at him, and then Kai pushed onwards. "I murdered thirty men after they surrendered. I slaughtered them like animals. Their blood was splattered all over me. They had already been disarmed, and I made them line up, and I decapitated them one by one without a single survivor. Does that make you feel fucking happier, Lee?"

Lee blinked, but then asked, "Why?"

"Does that matter?" Kai growled.

"I know you've killed before, asshole. But I know you wouldn't kill in cold blood for a reason. Why did you do it?"

"You don't think I couldn't kill you right now?"

"You probably could, but you wouldn't. You won't."

"If you tell Jinora a _word_ of this," Kai said, his voice turning deadly calm, "I wouldn't be so sure about that. Goodbye, Lee."

"You still haven't answered my question."

"And I still don't have to. There's nothing to say." Kai slammed Lee's door shut behind him and this time, Lee let him go.


	13. The Infirmary

CHAPTER THIRTEEN: The Infirmary

If Jinora thought Kai had been acting oddly—or perhaps not oddly, but infuriatingly—before, then the next few days were even stranger. He skipped class for the first time on Monday morning, she stopped seeing him in the cafeteria at all, and on the rare occasions they did see each other in class or in the hallway, he'd look at her for only a few seconds before looking away.

Which was just fine by her. If he didn't want to be in her life anymore, that wasn't her problem.

Worse still, Lee had been acting strangely too, unfocused and distracted a bit in class, and even on their (usually study) dates until she pulled him back to her, and he'd be smiling again. Maybe he was worried about what to get her for Valentine's Day?

Still, Kai was her main annoyance Thursday when they got their psyche papers back, and Professor LiMing stopped by Kai's desk and not hers to say, "Excellent job, Mr. Tashi." She twisted around to catch a glimpse of his grade—how had he gotten 98% and she'd only gotten an 91? The paper had been about mental health in lower classes but she'd never seen him in the library working on it, and he hadn't shown up to class the few days beforehand to get it proofread or anything.

"Thank you, Ms LiMing," he said quietly, with a weak little smile.

"I'd like to see you after class, Mr. Tashi, if you have some time."

"Of course, miss."

Her eyes narrowed. Clearly, Professor LiMing wasn't keeping him behind because he was in trouble, so why…?

The rest of the class went on, eager to get out of class for the day and go have some fun, or start work before dinner, but Jinora lingered outside the ajar classroom door, peeking out behind the wall and seeing Kai shuffle up to LiMing's desk.

"So," he said, his head hanging, "what did you want to talk to me about, miss? I'm not—I'm not in trouble, am I?"

"Of course not," LiMing said with a warm chuckle. "Actually, I just...wanted to check up on you."

"Is it my grades? I've never been great at school, before, but—"

"No, actually, your grades have been better than ever, at least in this class, as you can ascertain from your marks on your essay. I just wanted to see how you were doing...personally."

"Personally?"

"I know you come from a much different background than most students here, and that you'd understand the plight of lower income families much better. I can see how it could be isolating, but there are people here you can talk to, your guidance counsellor, or me, if you wish. The reason I bring this up is because, well, in your paper you described the symptoms of depression… very accurately, and—"

"I'm fine, Miss."

"Your other teachers told me that you were quite close with Miss Jinora Gyatso and Mr Lee Sono last year, and yet this year—fighting with friends can be hard—"

"I'm fine being on my own, Miss LiMing. I'm used to it. I'm fine, really. I appreciate your concern but, I probably should get to studying."

LiMing's face fell, but she nodded. "Very well, Mr. Tashi. Just know that my offer stands, if you change your mind."

"Thank you," Kai mumbled, and then left the room so quickly he didn't even see Jinora.

She didn't know what compelled her to follow him, only that she did, as he started breathing hard and stumbled over seemingly nothing in a deserted hallway that was hardly used even when it wasn't class, and he sagged against the nearest wall. His fists were clenched, his head bowed, and Jinora swore she saw a teardrop fall from his face to the floor, splattering on the tile like rain. He was muttering something to himself although she couldn't quite make it out, but it was tight and repetitious, and she took a small, silent step closer to try and make it out.

"—stupid worthless useless pile of shit, you're okay—you're okay—stop it, make it stop—"

And then suddenly it seemed to pass, as he stopped shaking and straightened up, wiping his face, and she dove behind the nearest cluster of lockers, pressing herself to the wall so he wouldn't see her, if he bothered to look around.

Jinora's heart was racing, her palms cold and clammy. What the hell had that been? What could be hurting him so badly—

 _You don't know what I am, what I've done, and you never should._

She swallowed hard. Maybe Lee knew something she didn't, and that was why he'd been acting a bit distracted the few days as well. Or maybe she should go to Kai himself, and see if she could tear down his walls again?

Would it be worth the effort, after all this time?

Jinora thought of the first summer they'd spent together, how soft and warm he'd been back then, even if he was cold and angry now. He would always be worth the effort. Her hesitation and hiding gave him a head start, and he seemed too distracted to notice her following behind him from a good distance, up to his room on the fifth floor, 401. He fumbled with his keys again, and now she felt bad for having rolled her eyes about it, because clearly it wasn't just him being clumsy, but a sign that something deep inside was...that something was wrong. Just when she was considering going over, revealing herself, and helping him, he got the door open himself, coughing into his arm.

And then he didn't stop, fighting back a violent shiver. For a second she thought it was whatever had happened in the hallway again, when he fell to his knees, his hand still reaching for the doorknob before he went completely limp, collapsing on the ground.

"Kai!" She rushed to him, for a moment afraid to touch him until he let out a groan, his eyes still closed. She reached for his face, and his skin was boiling under her palm. Did he have a fever? "Kai? Kai, can you hear me?" He nodded faintly, his eyelids fluttering. "I'm going to get a nurse."

"'M fine—"

"I'll be right back, I promise, just stay awake, okay?"

And somehow she knew he wouldn't let her down, this time.

###

"Thank you for coming on such short notice, Mr. Tashi, but given your familiarity with Kai's medical records—"

"Of course I want to be here for my boy," Yung assured one of the nurses, as she lead him into the largely empty hospital wing. It only took a few seconds of scanning the arched, sunlit windows and white beds to find the one his boy was lying in, but what took him by surprise was the dark haired girl sitting beside it. He sighed softly, and then walked over. "I thought you two weren't speaking."

Jinora looked up at him with red rimmed eyes. "We're not. But that doesn't mean he should…" She sniffled, looking back at Kai. "I'd learn to be okay with him hating me eventually, as long as he gets to live."

"He doesn't hate you. And the doctors told me he's going to be fine. It was just a case of unchecked hypothermia, although how he got it in the first place, I have no idea."

"Me neither, I—what if I hadn't been there—" Jinora's voice cracked, and Yung placed a hand on her shoulder.

"But you were, and that's what matters. If anything, Kai being here is my fault, not yours. I thought sending him back to school would help him, but I don't think it made any difference."

"He's been doing well in school," Jinora said weakly. "But he just...froze us all out, the moment we tried to talk to him. I...I don't know what to do, Yung."

"I don't know what to do either," Yung admitted. "The last… things have been hard for him since Lefty lost his leg, since he blames himself for it for—for a number of reasons, but then in mid-August… something really terrible happened and since then I've just been doing my best to keep him alive and to coax him out of bed most days. Longshot's specialty is medicine, not brain sickness, but he thinks…"

"That Kai has depression?" Jinora said softly.

"Among other things, yes. I thought maybe being around you might—you always made him so happy—but he—he doesn't think he deserves to be happy anymore, so I guess he's… self-destructing, in a way."

"That's probably why he pushed me away," she whispered. "For a moment, I really thought…" Jinora wiped at her eyes.

"If it makes you feel any better, he's told me to fuck off more than a few times, too." Yung smiled when Jinora let out a slight chuckle. "He...didn't have a lot of love when he was younger, and needed it most. I guess it's hard for him to accept it now. He still thinks that we'll leave him, eventually, if we get too fed up or angry or, whatever."

"I shouldn't have given up so easily," she said quietly.

"Well, you didn't seem to give up as easily as you thought. It's the reason you were able to get him to the nurse in time, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Besides, no matter what he's going through, if he was treating you badly, he had no excuses for it. He'll apologize, and make up for it. It might even help him help himself, too."

"I… God I bet he thinks I hate him."

"That's probably what he was trying for."

"I could never hate him," she murmured. "Even when he yelled at me, and called me a stupid rich girl, I...I said some pretty nasty things back. I even told Lee I hated him but…" Her throat tightened. "I love him so much."

Yung gently squeezed her shoulder. "I know, kid. Me too."

"Jinora?"

She looked up, warmth and a little bit of guilt mixing together when she saw Lee and the girls, and she got up and pulled Lee into a tight hug. "Hey," she murmured, kissing his cheek for good measure. "You found out?"

"LiMing came to get me, and I was in the library with them. I guess one of the nurses told her?"

"We were in her class shortly before he collapsed, so…" she withdrew and rubbed her arm. "But the doctor said he'll be okay. It was something to do with unchecked hypothermia, although none of us have a clue as to how he got it."

Lee frowned. "I might."

"What?"

"We'll talk about it later."

Jinora's brow furrowed in confusion, but she nodded, as they turned to Yung and the girls. "Oh, um, everyone, this Yung Tashi, Kai's… first mate."

"You're his father?" Pfannee asked, and Yung chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Well...not really, no, but… I've been taking care of him since he was nine, if that counts." Yung turned to the sleeping teenager, and muttered to himself, "Haven't done that good of a job, obviously."

"You know he would disagree if he were awake," Jinora said gently.

"We've disagreed on just about everything, as of late." Yung sighed. "I should probably go write a letter to the crew, to let them know what his condition is. I'll be back soon."

"Okay. I'll be here."

"So," Shen Shen said, once Yung left, smoothing down her skirt as she sat down in a chair next to Jinora, "what happened, exactly?"

"Kai's gonna kill me," Lee mumbled.

"He'll have to get out of the hospital bed first," said Miki.

Lee smiled faintly. "True." His smile faded, and he sighed. "One night, when I was out on the rooftop by myself, looking for him, I found him unconscious on the ground. I have no idea how long he'd been there; it had to have been hours." His expression grew grim. "I thought he was dead at first...I don't think I'll ever be as relieved as I was when I found his pulse. He was bruised and bleeding… I brought him back to my room and tried to patch him up as best as I could. When he woke up, he wouldn't let me fetch a nurse. He said he got jumped, by some boys in our grade, although he wouldn't give me any names… I didn't even know he could be jumped by anyone."

"He didn't tell anyone?" Jinora asked quietly.

"He specifically told me not to tell you." He glanced at Kai on the bed, his eyes still closed. "Sorry."

"So that's where the hypothermia came from…" Jinora's eyes watered. "Kai, you idiot… how could I have not seen the bruises?"

"He covered them up. He said someone in his crew gave him some stuff to cover his tattoos, but… It's not your fault, Jinora."

"I bet it was Lang or Ranshaw and their crew," Shen Shen muttered. "Oh, I'll find a way to ruin their reputations for this. Just give me a week or two."

"What else did he say, when he was staying with you?" Jinora asked Lee.

"Upon threat of death? The reason why he wasn't talking to any of us anymore."

"What?"

"That…" Lee sighed. "I think that's something that he should tell you himself, actually. He wouldn't tell me everything either, but…" He glanced back at Kai's sleeping form. "It really rattled him."

"We call it the incident," Yung said, and they all looked up, none of them having noticed he was already back. A folded piece of paper was tucked in his belt. "And 'rattled' is putting it mildly." He gave Lee a small, sad smile. "You're a good friend, to keep his confidence on that. But as his friends, I think you deserve to know. I… I can see why he's spoken so highly of all of you, now."

"He has?" Lee asked, and Yung smiled a little, nodding, before his expression grew weary again.

"We were sailing along the coast when a slaver's ship approached us. But it was just the slavers, no one to liberate, and they weren't attacking, so we let them sail up to us and… the captain said he had a message for Kai—"

And then the boy's eyes opened weakly. "Y-Yung?" he croaked, and the first mate fell silent.

"Hey, kiddo," he said gently. Shen Shen nudged Pfannee, who tugged on Miki's sleeve, and they all silently left, not wanting to intrude on what was clearly a private reunion. "How're you feeling?"

"Like shit… what—what happened to me?"

"You got hypothermia, and collapsed in your room. Luckily Jinora found you and got help." Yung's voice wavered, as Kai's eyes looked to Jinora, and then stared at the blue sheets of the hospital bed. "Kid, you gotta take better care of yourself, okay?" Yung said shakily.

"I'm fine—"

" _No_ , you're not, because you almost died here twice now and you only survived because you were found at the right time, and how the hell do you think I feel knowing that I was maybe seconds away from losing you— _again_ —and I will _not_ lose you, you understand?"

Kai's bottom lip trembled, and his eyes grew bright. "But you'd be better off—"

"Why, Kai? Why do you think that?"

"You could get married, you could settle down, you could have your own kids and not have to deal with a fuckup like me—"

"I don't want any of that if I can't have you, you understand? You're my world. I chose that."

"Why would you choose me?" Kai asked, his voice broken.

"Because ever since I met you in that alleyway, you have been the best part of my life. Even during the worst parts of yours. You're gonna get through this, kid. We're going to get through this. I'm not going anywhere."

Kai burst into tears, and Yung pulled him into a tight hug. Lee and Jinora walked back to the waiting room, but stayed behind even as the other girls left.

"I'm sorry Yung," Kai mumbled into Yung's shoulder, "I'm sorry I'm a mess—"

"You're not a mess," he murmured. "It's okay. You're okay. I love you."

"I love you too," he choked out. "I'm trying—I'm just—I'm so tired…"

"I know. But you're still here, and I need you to still be here, okay? I need you."

"I know. I'm gonna try, I promise."

"Thank you," Yung whispered, and the relief in his voice was enough to make Kai tear up again, as his hands gently brushed Kai's hair. "You can come and stay home for March break as soon as you get discharged from the infirmary… we can go back to the Gyatso estate, and… I want you to think about going to a therapist, okay? Even if it's just for a diagnosis, so we can have a better idea of what to do, okay?"

"Okay," Kai mumbled. "Can...can I have you there? And maybe Longshot?"

"Yeah. Whatever you want."

"Okay… I think I already know one thing I have? I think—it might be depression? At least a little bit. Or it might be wrong, I don't—"

"We'll wait and see," Yung said gently. "But Longshot thought it might be along those lines, too, kid, just breathe."

Kai nodded, then took a deep breath. "Can—can you send Lee and Jinora back in? I wanna talk to them for a bit."

"Alright. I'll just be in the waiting room, whenever you need me."

"Okay." Kai hesitated, then hugged Yung tightly. "Thank you. For everything."

"Of course, kid." Yung kissed the top of his head. "Keep your head up. We're gonna get to the other side."

For what felt like the first time in far too long, Kai smiled faintly. "Okay."

###

Jinora could still remember being startled the first time she'd seen him cry, and even that had been only a few lone tears. It was nothing compared to the way he looked now, too pale with blotchy cheeks and what looked like faded bruises coming through too, and she couldn't help but practically run to him when Yung told her and Lee to head back inside the infirmary.

"I'm sorry," he started, "I'm so sorry—"

She threw her arms around his neck, careful not to aggravate any bruises as she hugged him, nearly sobbing in relief when he hugged her back. "I'm sorry, too," she whispered.

"I'm sorry for everything I said to you, I'm sorry I didn't write and I pushed you away, I'm sorry for avoiding you, I'm—" His eyes closed as he took a deep breath. "Thank you for saving me. Both of you. I—I'm so sorry."

"We forgive you," Jinora whispered. "We love you."

Kai managed a tearful smile as he pulled away, looking at both of them. "I don't know what I did to deserve both of you," he mumbled.

"It's not about deserving anything," Lee said gently. "You're stuck with us, no matter what you do." Kai let out a short laugh, and Lee smiled softly, before pulling Kai into a firm hug.

"'M sorry I threatened to kill you," he mumbled. "I wouldn't have, really. You know that right?"

"I was like 92% sure."

Kai puffed out a weak laugh. "Besides, I'd understand if you told them."

"I told them about finding you in the cold. Not about the Incident… I figured that was your story to tell."

Kai sniffled, smiling appreciatively. "Thanks, Lee. But…" his smile faded. "Do you guys want to hear it now? The reason why, too?"

"Only if you're ready," Jinora said quickly.

"I...I think I am," Kai said quietly. "Do—have either of you ever heard of a pirate called Quil?"

"No," Lee and Jinora said at the same time.

"He pretty much runs all of the slave trade. He's one of the worst pirates out there. Any terrible thing you can imagine… he's done it. And in August—my reputation had grown, I guess, once I beat Zaheer, I don't know—but in August, a slave ship approached us, but we didn't see any slaves there, just slavers so we… let them approach us. They had an offer for me."

"Yung told us that much," Jinora said softly, and Kai swallowed hard.

"They worked for Quil and… they offered me a job. A position, in his rankings. Doing what, they didn't explain, but I—I didn't wait long enough to find out. I told them no. They weren't too happy about that… and I don't remember much of my mother, but I know I have her eyes and—and they knew that somehow." His voice started shaking. "They started talking about how she had been a slave, and what they had done to her… they knew things they shouldn't have. They knew I had her eyes. They knew I was—or, I think I was born in Omashu, and that's where they said she had escaped. And I just—I just snapped." His voice wavered. "I killed all of them, they—they were unarmed, it was so easy, I…"

Jinora's voice was soft. "Kai…"

"And then they surrendered, and I still… I still killed them, all thirty of them. I made them line up and I just…" His hands were shaking. "But since then, I've...I've been stuck in my own head all the time and I keep thinking I'm going to snap again, and anything I eat makes me feel sick and the nightmares are so bad I can't sleep and I just…" His voice broke. "I just want it all to stop."

"Kai—"

"And I didn't want to come back, because I'm a murderer, and you would hate me, or I might snap again, and hurt you, and I wanted to write you, but I didn't know what to say so I didn't say anything and _I'm sorry_ —"

"Shh." Jinora took his hands, holding them firmly. "I know you wouldn't hurt us. You...you were scared, and upset—"

"And what if I'm scared and upset around you—"

"You were trying to defend yourself. And your mother. I'm not saying I agree, or would have done the same, but if anyone deserved it, they did. You are not the things you've done, Kai, or the things that have happened to you."

He looked between Lee and Jinora, his eyes brimming with fresh tears. "So you still don't hate me?"

"No," said Lee in a thick voice. "Never."

"I'm sorry for pushing both of you away when you were just trying to help."

"Well you won't push us away now, will you?" Jinora said, and Kai shook his head.

"I'll try not to."

"Then that's all that matters. That, and that you're alright." She kissed his forehead. "I missed you."

Kai's hands weakly found hers, but he held them all the same. "I missed you too. I love you."

Jinora smiled widely, her eyes shining. "I love you too."

Lee took a small step away, and dropped his hand onto Jinora's shoulder, giving it a squeeze. "I think Professor LiMing mentioned something about one of us getting Kai's schoolwork? I can go get it now."

Jinora turned towards him with a smile. "I don't know if we're going to get any homework done."

"The doctors said I have to rest, so I might as well do something while you guys are in class," Kai said. "If you wouldn't mind, Sono?" he added quickly.

Lee gave him a small smile. "Not at all." Jinora pecked him on the lips before he left.

There was silence as his footsteps faded away, before Kai asked with a soft smile, "How long have you guys been together?"

"Since before Thanksgiving. I…" She swallowed. "I know it must be weird—"

"It's okay. I'm happy for you. Both of you. I mean, he treats you well, right?"

"Yeah, he does."

"Then I couldn't be happier about it, Jin." He squeezed her hands, and then let go. "I'm… especially glad you had him when I was, uh, being a jackass."

"Well, now I have both of you again," she said quietly. "So please, don't disappear on me again?"

"I won't. I promise. I thought about you all the time while I was gone, and I hoped...I hoped you were doing okay without me."

"I was okay… but not nearly as happy as I am when you're around. I missed you so much. I missed…" Her smile faltered, and she swallowed hard. "I just missed you a lot."

"I missed you too. I...I really thought you'd be better off without me."

"That's clearly not the case," she murmured. "I would be way worse without you. I need you. And more than that, I want you in my life. I want you…" her throat went dry as she rested her forehead against his, her eyes closed. The few inches of space between their mouths seemed to tremble. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," he whispered. "So, so much." His Adam's apple bobbed, before he reluctantly pulled away. "I'm feeling tired, again, so I'm sorry if I just start, falling asleep, y'know." His cheeks were warm.

"It's okay. I'm really glad you're here."

"I'm glad you're here too."

"I...guess I should go, but I'll send Yung back in, and...I'll see you very soon."

"I'll see you soon." He squeezed her hands before finally letting go. "Bye, Jin."

She turned away, forcing her feet to move forward as she tried to ignore the way her heart was racing.

###

Kai had never thought that he'd actually be relieved to do homework, but even that was better than just laying around helplessly in the hospital bed. He'd never liked bedrest before, but now that there was so much to catch up on to get ready for end of year exams, in addition to the ones he'd missed last year, and trying to rekindle his relationships with Lee and Jinora and visits from Yung, he at least didn't feel unproductive.

Still, trying to catch up yet again was a kind of stress he still wasn't used to after a year and a half of it.

"You've already come a long way, and even if you don't get all your credits for this year, you know you can hire a tutor to get you caught up, and even take some tests to avoid having to retake a class if you don't want to," Lee said. Jinora was out studying with the girls, and Yung was getting his things set up at his apartment close to campus, reserved mainly for tutors and parents of current students. At the very least, having Yung close by was going to make things a little easier, if only for what was left of Kai's peace of mind.

"Great, more tests," Kai mumbled.

"You're going to have to take them whether you retake the class or not," Lee pointed out with a slight smile. "That might actually be better, when you're sailing again." His smile faded. "Though...it'll be kind of sad, when you're away again."

"I won't go away for too long, if at all." Kai sighed. "I'm thinking of staying through with the Gyatsos over the summer and then starting school again in the fall."

"But...your captainship—"

"I've already built up enough of a reputation, and anyway, I...I don't know if I'm ready for it yet," he admitted. "You already know what happened."

"You're learning without any real guidance, that's not your fault."

"But I…" Kai took another breath. "If I take up captainship again, I want to be ready for it. And Yung wants me to get a therapist, so I want to be somewhere stable where I can do that, and the best place is with the Gyatsos. If they'll let me stay."

"Why wouldn't they?"

"I'll have to tell them what I've done… and I really hurt Jinora when I stopped responding to her. And the Governor's running for re-election officially in a couple of months, so I don't want to get in the way of that."

"They'll let you stay."

"How do you know? I did...horrible things—"

"They'll let you stay. I just know."

"I hope so."

"If we still accept you, the Gyatsos will too." Lee gently squeezed Kai's shoulder. "And… uh… are you okay, with me and Jinora—"

"Huh?"

"We never really got to talk about it, so…" Lee let go of Kai's shoulder, shuffling uncomfortably, and Kai almost laughed.

"Of course I am. And it wouldn't really matter if I wasn't, anyway, but I really am happy for both of you."

"I just...I know you were both a thing, last summer—"

"That was last summer. I'm glad she has you, especially with me being...you know."

Lee smiled slightly. "Good. You're our friend, I care about what you think."

"Thanks. And, uh, you're okay with me staying over at the Gyatsos over the summer?"

"I trust you and Jinora. It's fine… Now, do you, uh, want to go back to the essays?"

Kai smiled back at him. "Sure. Thanks, Lee."

###

The last day of term after exams was by far the nicest one of the beginning of summer. There would be nothing else to study for for a long while, and long, sunny days were ahead of them, as Jinora, Kai, and Lee sat in the school grounds, eating ice cream cones from the shop a few blocks away.

"We don't get ice cream much on the ship," Kai said, lying on the ground and looking up at the way sunlight filtered in through the leaves of the tree they were sitting under.

"What else didn't you have on the ship?" Jinora asked, amused. It had taken a few weeks for him to be discharged from the hospital wing, but going home to the Gyatso estate for March Break had definitely helped. He'd been diagnosed and given meds, and every Saturday Yung came to pick him up to take him into the city for his therapy sessions, and he'd moved back into rooming with Lee, too. Jinora and Lee had gotten used to having their weekly dates whenever he was gone, partially for the convenience, but also because it always made her strangely guilty to have them when Kai was around, like she was rubbing their relationship in his face.

Even if she had absolutely no way of knowing if his feelings were the same they had been last summer.

Kai gave her an easy smile, tugging her gently out of her treacherous thoughts. "I dunno. Lots of things. But we had lots of things too. Like booze."

"Ah, of course. So I suppose there's lots of things you've done we never have."

"There's probably lots of things you've done I never have," he pointed out.

"Like what?" Lee asked curiously.

"Well… I've never gone to school before, obviously. Um. Never had a doctor's checkup? I've never been ice skating…"

Jinora perked up. "Really? Not even docked during winter?"

"Never had the time."

She grinned. "Looks like we've got plans for next winter, then."

"We'll actually get to celebrate our anniversary this time around too."

Her grin faltered, heat rising to her cheeks. "A-anniversary?"

Kai raised his head to look at her. "Y'know, of the day we met. July 31st. It'll be two years."

"O-oh. Right." She took another bite of her ice cream, avoiding Lee's eyes.

"How should we celebrate?" Lee asked, and Jinora didn't know if it alleviated her guilt or worsened it.

"We can all spend some time on the ship. Mainly eat there, since you still haven't tried Daw's food. And you can have your first beer, I guess. Lefty always buys the best booze. Well, cheap booze."

"You sure that's a good idea?" Jinora asked with a slight smile.

"I'll limit you both to one bottle. As entertaining as it would be to see you both drunk, I'm not testing my luck with either of your parents."

"That's fair," Lee admitted. "Either way, both of you better come visit me. I don't think I can handle a summer cooped up with just my brother."

"We will," Kai said. "And you're able to visit us, right?"

"Yeah, it's just annoying when my parents come along to brag about my brother to Mr. and Mrs. Gyatso."

"Well I like you a lot more than your brother."

"You've never met him."

"Well I have," added Jinora, "and I agree."

Lee snorted softly. "Thanks. At least the parts of summer I'll be spending with you guys will be nice."

"I can finally teach you how to fight," Kai offered.

Lee perked up. "You still want to?"

"Yeah. I don't know how great of a teacher I'll be, since I've been in bed for most of the month, but…"

"He's a great teacher," Jinora smiled, before it faltered, as she thought of their sparring sessions the previous year. How close they'd gotten.

"Yeah, and Jin was a terrible student," Kai teased, and she reached over and punched him in the shoulder. "And look how much she's learned!" He rubbed his shoulder, grinning. "I actually felt that that time."

"Shut up," Jinora mumbled, unable to hold back a smile. "And speaking of learning, I promised Ikki I'd help her sell off the last of her schoolbooks. I should get to that." She leaned over to kiss Lee quickly on the mouth, and when she pulled back, she wondered if Kai had been turned away since she punched him, or only during the kiss. "See you both soon," she said, as she tried to push the thought away.

She was with Lee now, and she'd lost her chance to dwell on those things. She had to remember that now. She couldn't forget.

###

Two days into their summer vacation at the Gyatso household, the winner of the election was announced… and it wasn't Tenzin. He'd lost to Asun Chow by a small margin, and brought the news back to his family a day before it would hit the papers, and Jinora had never seen her father look so defeated. Kai stayed in his room after hearing the news, going an entire day without speaking to anyone. Jinora couldn't tell if it was just a relapse, or directly related to the news, but she mostly stayed with her father and helped him plan the succession party, of him handing his position over to the Chow family (Asun was LingShi's uncle, so she would have to put up with seeing him again too). By now she'd figured Lee had heard too, since his parents had helped fund her father's campaign…

But it was still a hard blow. And looking at the numbers, Jinora couldn't have figured what was so different than the last re-election four years ago. Not much had changed since then, beyond Rohan growing up, and she even with her newfound freedom hadn't done anything outlandish to sprout a scandal. She'd re-joined fencing and taken a few politics class, but that had been kept within school, and she'd been successful enough in both those endeavors to keep anyone from being bothered by it.

She was bothered when Kai kept pulling away in the days after, choosing to spend more time with Yung and the crew and eat meals with them whenever they could (although all the pirates were eating up in the manor more and more often anyway). Which was fine, if she hadn't had reason to worry.

She went up to the guest wing, lingering at his door before knocking quietly. When he didn't respond, she knocked a little louder, panic setting in as she threw the door open. He was lying on his bed staring mindlessly at the ceiling.

"Kai," she scolded, "let me know when you're in here. I—I got worried you weren't—"

"I'm not gonna run off."

"That's not very consoling, considering every other time you've wanted to run off you have." She sighed when he looked over at her with a blank expression, and shut his door, sitting down on the bed next to him. "What's up with you, Kai?"

He looked at her for a long moment, and then sat up beside her. "I'm the reason your father lost the election."

"What?"

"It was because of me. What I am, and what I've done. I still can't believe they took me in after everything."

"Of course they did—"

"And if they hadn't, maybe your father would've won, I mean, as much as people were calling me a hero they were probably all pretty skeptical, right? But that would've gone away if I'd made something of myself, and proved that your parents were right to take me in, only then I didn't and dropped off the face of the earth and if anyone ever finds out about the massacre—"

She laid a hand on his shoulder. "No one is going to find out. The only people that know are you, my family, and the crew. And Lee. And your shrink, I think, but none of them are going to say a word."

He folded his hands together, his knees bouncing nervously underneath them. "Pirates don't get trials, Gyatso."

"Kai. Captain," she tried again, raising her hand and cupping the far side of his face, turning him towards her, "no one is going to find out, and nothing is going to happen to you. Okay? You are not the reason my father lost the election, and even if you were, he'd think it was a fair trade. He loves you like a son. I know he does. You're one of us now, too. Just like how we're one of you."

He gave her a small, sad smile. "I don't want to be the downfall of you or your family, Jinora."

"You're not. You're the reason we're still here, remember?"

"I know, I just…"

"You're not a burden." She stroked her thumb over his cheek. "You're my _friend_. Always."

He leaned into her touch, placing his hand over hers, and he swallowed hard before he pulled away. "Thanks, Jin."

"Anytime. I wanted to find you before… Lee and I are going out this afternoon, but we'll be back for dinner."

"Oh. Okay." His smile brightened even if his eyes dimmed. "Have fun."

"You too. I think Rohan wanted to go over planetary alignments with you," she smiled. "And...talk to my father? He'll want to know how you've been feeling, and… He loves you so much, Kai."

"I know. I will." He squeezed her hand quickly. "I'll see you later."

"You too." She briefly pecked Kai on the cheek, before getting up and forcing her feet to move as quickly as possible, out of the room and onto her date. With Lee.

It was surprisingly hard.

###

Walking in the gardens at the Gyatso estate just wasn't the same anymore.

Not only because he hardly ever walked alone with Jinora anymore—even if Lee trusted him, Kai couldn't trust himself not to take more glances than he would allow himself—but because it was no longer theirs, not really, as he walked with Jinora and Lee through the cobblestone walkways, trying not to look at the way their joined hands swung lightly between them.

He supposed he and Jinora would be on their own back at school in the fall, though, since Lee had graduated this past June. Whenever he thought about it, it filled him with a combination of jittery nerves and strangled excitement, because well, he didn't know if he could survive a whole year with Jinora and not want to kiss her more than he already did. Even if he'd never kiss her again.

"This one's wilting," Jinora said with a frown, cradling a slightly bowed rosebud between her fingers. She looked up at Lee and Kai. "You both wait here while I fetch a watering can?"

"Like we'd do anything else," Kai quipped, and she laughed, free and easy, and it made butterflies erupt in his stomach.

She was still smiling as she turned and started walking down towards the garden shed that was between the manor and the docks, and he watched her longer than he had any right to, the butterflies dying down in his stomach as he tried to squash them.

When he tore his gaze away, he found Lee already looking at him, and swallowed hard. He'd put this off long enough as it was. "Sono, there's something I should probably tell you."

Lee arched his eyebrows. "Kai—"

"I still like Jinora. And obviously nothing's gonna happen because we're friends and she's with you and you're good together, but I wanted you to know, and—"

"Kai." Lee was giving him a faint smile. "I know."

"Y-you know? How—"

"You look at her the same way I do."

"O-oh." Kai fidgeted with his sword belt. "That's… okay, then."

"It's fine, really. You can't help the way you feel, and...you know I trust you."

"I really am glad she's with you, though. You're good for her and she's good for you. You're stable." Kai tried for a smile. "I can be your best man when the time comes."

Lee chuckled softly. "No rush, but...thanks. Have you told her this? That you like her?"

"Why would I do that?"

He shrugged. "Just wondering."

"I'm not going to now, not when… She might take it as me trying to pursue something, and I don't want to put that on her, or you. And… I'm still figuring everything out. I'm not in the headspace to be anything with anyone." Kai rubbed the back of his neck. "Besides, who says you can't move on from your first love, right?" He chuckled weakly.

Lee smiled sympathetically. "I wouldn't know, I guess. But, Kai, I don't… I'm not entirely sure anymore, that Jinora and I are built to last."

"What? Why not?"

"I always thought we'd be perfect together because of how similar we are, but… it doesn't feel like she's being completely honest with me. Like she's guarding something."

"Maybe she's just upset over the election? I know she's not looking forward to seeing the Chow family next week."

"I don't think it's that. I think…" Lee sighed. "I think it's you."

"Me?"

"Her feelings only faded because you were gone. And now that she knows why, and now that you're back…"

"Oh." Kai blinked. "Really? I thought… she got over me a long time ago."

"No. I don't think she ever did, really."

"But she likes you—"

"Even if she does, or still does, anyway, I know at least a part of her is also falling for you again."

"I'm sorry—"

"It's not your fault."

They were both quiet, before Kai asked, "Are you thinking of breaking up with her?"

"Maybe. Do you want me to?"

"No! I mean—if you're not happy, then—but I don't want you to hurt her. I don't want anyone to hurt her."

"I...honestly don't think it would. Not really."

"Just…" Kai took a deep breath. "I've hurt her enough already, you—you're the one of us that actually deserves her. And you make her feel happy, and safe, and—and you're happy too, right?"

"I am, but if she could potentially be happier…" Lee sighed. "I'll hold off on it. I just don't want to hold her back from what she really wants."

"I know. Thank you. You're a good friend. To both of us."

"Thanks. You're both two of the best friends I've ever had."

"Finally found one!" Jinora's voice was clear, her feet tapping softly on the walkway as she ran towards them with a watering can, sloshing water around her. "It took forever for me and the gardener to find a spare but I got it, and—" She stopped, looking between them. "What were you two talking about?"

"Just some things about the future," Lee said.

"How vague," Jinora teased.

"I was just making Lee promise to write me while he's at university," Kai said with a grin, lightly elbowing him in stomach.

"He better write to both of us," Jinora said, her smile growing.

"I will." Lee grinned sheepishly at them. "I'm gonna miss you guys."

"We'll miss you too," Kai said softly, and then smiled just as softly at Jinora, who was smiling and tearing up a little. "But um, Jin? The flower?"

"Oh, right." A lovely blush dusted her cheeks. "Thanks, Kai." She watered the flower till the soil beneath it was a deep brown. She set the watering can down beside it, then slipped her arms in both Kai's and Lee's, staying close beside them as they walked back down to the mansion.

She wished she could keep her boys this close, even if she wound her fingers through Lee's, and her other hand, free of Kai's fingers, felt empty.


	14. Mended

**a/n:** this chapter is a little shorter than usual, but the next one will likely be longer, so it'll all balance out. this chapter is also a good example of the type of M-rated sexual content that will be smattered throughout the story from this point onwards. however if there is anyone who is uncomfortable with that content but wants to keep reading, let me know and i can include a "what happened" of important things that was interwoven with the mature content. spiritypowers and i want all of our readers to be able to enjoy the story in whatever way works for them. for those of you where smut is your thing... enjoy ;) the kids are growing up so fast

* * *

CHAPTER FOURTEEN: Mended

Lee walked her home and even left her with a tender "Goodnight," but she'd remained silent for all of it, till unexpected tears built in her eyes once she was alone in her room. She knew Kai would come along eventually, usually with a cup of her favourite tea (as it got cold on late August nights) and he always checked up on her after a date with Lee, asking how it had been and just talking in general, but she didn't want to wait. She wanted him here now. Or maybe she never wanted him to come at all. Because if he was here, he might think Lee did something awful and get upset, or worse, she'd seek more than comfort from him, and—

"Jin?"

"Hey, Kai," she mumbled miserably, as Kai opened her door, and bless his heart, with a cup of tea in his hand too.

He set it down on her dresser, brow furrowing, and then moved over to sit in front of her. "Hey. What's wrong?"

"I—" She sniffled, and swiped upwards with her sleeve at her glassy eyes. "Lee broke up with me."

"What? Why?"

"He just said—he didn't feel like it was working, anymore, and with him going off to school… and I knew something wasn't quite right but I didn't think—we were together for nine months and he just…" She sniffled. "I just—I was surprised, at first, but fine—"

"No, you're not. That...I'm so sorry."

"He was kind about it, I promise," she said, and Kai gently shushed her.

"We're focusing on you right now, okay?"

"Okay." She took a deep breath, closing her eyes as he tucked her hair gently behind her ears, and took her into his arms, and she buried her face in his chest. "Thank you, Kai."

"Do you need anything?" he asked softly, and she shook her head.

"Just stay with me."

"Okay." He kissed her forehead, and then held her close, making a mental note to write Lee a consoling letter in the morning, too. "I'm sorry it didn't work out."

"Me too," she mumbled, her fingers curling into his shirt. "But maybe it's for the best. Maybe there's a bright side to all of this. To him leaving… I think deep down I knew it was temporary. That if you hadn't…"

Kai swallowed hard. "Jin—"

"Before the bank...I did have a little crush on Lee, but I never thought about him when I was with you. But when I was with him…"

"Jinora—" Kai tried again. "Don't do this to yourself. The end of your relationship with Lee isn't your fault."

"No," she admitted, "I guess it isn't." She looked up at him with big brown eyes and he thought his heart would combust. "But it might be both of ours."

She kissed him before he had time to think. Her heart was pounding madly against her chest when he kissed her back, lips crushing hers for the first time in over a year, but when she went to deepen it, he pulled away. "No," he murmured, "not like this."

"This isn't just for comfort—"

"No, I mean… Not while you're—crying, while you're vulnerable and…"

"I'm not kissing you because I'm vulnerable. I'm kissing you because I _want_ to. I've missed you." She rested her hand over his cheek, and he let her. "I've missed having you like this."

"Jin, I—"

"Please."

He took her hand away from his cheek, even while he grasped it tightly. "You just broke up with him," he murmured. "And you know how much I care about you, but I'm not ready for this right now."

"This doesn't have to be anything," she said softly. "It can be like the way it was before you became captain. Like friends, but a little bit more… I just want to kiss you. And I think Lee knew, too. He knew you still had a piece of my heart. That's why he ended things—and I was thinking about ending it myself soon, too… don't you want to kiss me?"

He swallowed hard. "I really want to kiss you," he admitted quietly. "But…"

She rested her forehead against his. "But?"

"I don't want to take advantage of you, or the situation, or—"

"You're not. I want this." Her eyes flickered up to meet his, steadfast and bright. "I want you."

He hesitated, and then his mouth was on hers again. He wrapped his arms snug around her waist as she cupped his face, tugging his bottom lip between her teeth. After a year, after six more months of silence, stilted touches and lingering glances, this was a wildfire, a combustion of his heart in his chest as she deepened the kiss and he gladly devoured her. She moaned into his mouth as he tugged her closer. She gripped at his shoulder, pulling him with her as she laid on her back, his weight warm and solid on top of her. She wrestled with the buttons on his shirt as he ripped his mouth away from hers, panting for a moment, before he started kissing her neck, and heat coursed through her veins, pooling between her legs.

"Kai," she whimpered, pressing her mouth to the shoulder that had been shot so long ago, once his shirt was off and on the floor beside them.

"Jinora," he replied huskily, and she only wanted to lose herself in him more, and he buried his face in her neck, still pressing wet kisses to her skin, careful not to leave marks. She tangled her fingers in his hair, biting down on her bottom lip to hold back a whimper as he rubbed his hips into hers, and she eagerly wound her thighs around his hips, pushing back up against him through the layers of their undergarments and her skirt and his pants.

"Mm," Jinora was breathless, desperate for friction as she grinded hard against him, feeling him pressing against her, and stroked her fingers over his jaw, craving more. More closeness, more heat, more pleasure. More of him. All of him. "Kai," she moaned softly, and he groaned into her skin.

"What do you want, Jin?" he murmured, kissing his way back to her mouth.

"I want you," she breathed against his lips. "I...I want…" She guided one of his hands to her hip, beneath her skirt, his thumb resting over the strap of her underwear.

"Just my hands," he told her, "for now."

Jinora nodded eagerly, gripping at his hair. "I'll… show you what to do." She hummed into his mouth as he kissed her, guiding his hand down between her legs, shivering as his knuckles brushed against her inner thigh, and tugged down her wet underwear.

He hesitated. "Jinora," he breathed, pulling away from her mouth. "What should I…?"

"Touch me," she whispered.

He kissed her cheek. "How?" His breath hitched as she guided his fingers to her crotch, pressing his fingertips against her entrance. "Are you sure?"

"Mmhm." Her eyes locked with his. "I'm sure."

He rested his forehead against hers as he slowly slipped a finger inside her, carefully watching her expression. She shuddered, but nodded, squeezing his wrist encouragingly, and he tried to remember anything and everything Lefty had ever told him about pleasing a woman. He felt for her clit, careful not to press too hard when his thumb brushed against it, soft and swollen, and she let out a low moan.

"That's good?" he checked, and she nodded, her eyes closing.

"Very good," she managed. The pad of his thumb circled around that sensitive spot, a gentle pressure that made her head spin. "Keep going," she breathed, running her hand up his forearm, blindly grasping at his hip. He slowly curled his finger inside her, and she let out another low moan, her voice tight. "Mm, Kai—"

He shushed her gently, his lips brushing hers as he slipped another finger inside her, gently pumping them in and out, until he croaked out, green eyes unsure and blinking, "Is this—working? Are you going to—?"

Jinora smiled gently, her eyes slowly opening. "It's good," she told him, "really good, just—maybe not this time?" She pressed her smile to his cheek. "But it's a good first time. No one else has ever touched me there before."

"But I want you to feel good," he murmured. "Is there anything I…?"

"Just keep going," she said softly. "And don't worry about getting me there right away." She slipped her hand beneath the front of his pants. "We're both still trying to figure this out."

He gave her a shaky but genuine smile. "Okay." He used his free hand to undo the buttons of his pants. "I do think you have the advantage though. A dick isn't that hard to figure out."

"But you are hard," Jinora pointed out, and they both dissolved into giggles, even if a heavy blush was spreading over his cheeks and the tips of his ears. Her fingers brushed the length of his cock once they'd stopped laughing, and his breath hitched, and he kissed her again, warm and throbbing against her palm as she slowly stroked him. "Am I doing it right?"

"Mmhmm." He trailed his mouth over to her cheek. "Like I said, it's not as complicated as your stuff." He smiled when she giggled again, letting out a soft moan as she sighed.

"I'm pretty sure there's not supposed to be this much laughing," she said reprovingly, although she was smiling. "There's never this much in the romance books I read."

"Well," Kai tucked her hair behind her ears with his free hand, smiling back at her, "isn't the real thing so much better?"

"It is," she murmured, sighing softly when he kissed her again, and their hands resumed their motions. She gasped against his mouth when he suddenly came onto her hand, and she froze reflexively, his release hot and thick against her palm.

"Sorry," he mumbled, his voice thick, and even in the darkness she could see the deep flush along his cheeks. "It just—"

It was warm, but not unpleasant, and she found herself pleased, ultimately, that she'd made him come, and kissed his crimson cheeks. "It's alright. I'll just wash it off once I'm done, too."

He was still blushing, but a smile broke over his face. "You sure?"

"Yeah. I don't mind." She pressed a kiss to the bridge of his nose. "Can...can we wrap up for the night?"

"Okay." He withdrew his hand from her legs, resting it carefully on his knee as he sat up. She sat up with him, tilting her head at him as he rubbed the back of his neck with his dry hand. "I'm sorry I wasn't able to help you finish."

"I told you not to worry about it. It… We'll have time, later, to...figure all that out."

He smiled slightly. "Yeah." His blush deepened. "So, um, are you gonna help yourself finish?"

She nodded. "You can, um, watch, so...you'll have a better idea for next time?"

His throat went dry as he nodded. He watched her hand slip down between her legs, her cheeks a deep red as she slipped a finger inside her, her thumb rubbing the side near her soft, swollen clit. "It-it goes faster, if I stay to the left of it," she mumbled. "Your right, I think." He held up his right hand and she nodded. "Mmhmm. And—oh." Her eyes fluttered closed. "Kai? Kiss my neck again."

He leaned over and trailed his mouth down the crook of her neck, nearly losing it when she moaned in his ear again, his breath and mouth hot against her skin. He almost didn't realize she was coming, until her whole body went rigid for a moment, and her breathing grew more laboured. His name escaped her lips in a soft cry, and she arched into him, her chest heaving against his.

He ran his hands down her arms, holding her gently as he pulled away to look her in the face, his eyes wide and reverent. "You just—?" She nodded, her face flushed and her eyes wide and blown-open, and he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. "You're comfortable?"

"Yeah," she murmured. She slipped her hand out from between her legs, wiping it off on the sheets before wrapping her arms loosely around his neck. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Being here for me. And...for being the first person that I've done this with."

"Thank you for trusting me with it… You have tissues, right? So we can clean up a bit?"

Jinora laughed softly as she nodded. "Yes, but tomorrow is my laundry day anyway. My parents won't notice a thing if I wash my sheets." And she really didn't want him to leave her bed just yet.

He smiled, almost teasingly. "You just don't want me to go."

"Maybe."

His smile softened. "I don't want to leave either," he admitted. "You make me feel… anchored. Stable. I can't tell you what that means to me."

Her smile softened, and she brushed his hair off his brow. "Try, anyway?"

He tilted his head in thought, and Jinora's heart fluttered. "It's like...like I don't have to run and hide, anymore, I guess. Like, even if I could never go back to sea… I'd be okay, as long as I'm with you."

"You'd give it up for me?"

"I'd give up everything for you. I know that now… I really thought that you and Lee were gonna last, so I was—I was preparing myself to be the best man at your wedding. That I'd lost my chance with you. But as long as you were happy, it…" He swallowed hard. "It'd be alright, and...as long as you still wanted me in your life at all."

"Kai…"

"I know I'm not an easy person, and that I'm not—ready—for the relationship you really want, but I promise, whatever I can give, I'll give to you. If you'll let me. I'll be the man you deserve."

"You already are," she whispered. "And you know I'm okay with waiting." She cupped his cheek gently. "I'd wait as long as it takes for you."

"I won't make you wait long. I promise."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Their mouths met in a soft, gentle kiss that he slowly pulled away from, letting her pull him back in two more times before he finally drew away for good.

"We should probably get some sleep, Jin."

She sighed, but smiled. "Whatever you say, Captain."

He rolled onto his back, smiling softly when she rested her head on his chest. "Y'know at school, I'll probably be in a room on my own again, and the girls won't mind—or snitch—if you just stay with me instead of them."

She pressed a kiss to the sharp line of his jaw. "I just might."

"Yeah? You'd like that?"

"I would."

"Okay. We can talk more about it later."

"Alright." She pressed another kiss to his cheek. "Goodnight, Kai. I love you."

"I love you too, Jin."

###

Kai woke up warmer than usual, with a strange sense of safety and contentedness, as he opened his eyes and wondered why the walls were yellow instead of the usual blue of the guest rooms, before the events of the previous night slowly came back to him. Heat rose in his face, as he turned and saw the way Jinora was curled up against his chest, snuffling softly, and he couldn't help but smile.

Gods, he loved her.

Guilt slowly creeped in as he remembered just how they'd gotten there—she'd been crying, Lee had ended their relationship—and he silently vowed to never let Lee know, to save everyone a little embarrassment. He'd have to remember to write to him, and see how he was doing.

He looked back at Jinora when she shifted slightly, letting out a soft yawn as her eyes fluttered open. They were big and brown and so bright that it made his heart tighten just a little. "G'morning," she mumbled sleepily, and he smiled despite himself.

Hopefully it was the first of many mornings of waking up next to her. "Morning. How're you feeling?"

"Tired," she murmured. "Glad to be able to stay in."

"We didn't go to bed that late."

"Maybe you tired me out," she said with a slight grin.

"I wish," he said, and she snorted, nuzzling into his chest. "Hey. Where's your clock? We should probably get up soon."

She pushed herself up into a sitting position, her long hair loose and tangled down her back as she reached for the alarm clock on her bedside table. "Only 8:14am. We have plenty of time, Mr. Sleepyhead. You're the one who always gets his beauty rest."

"Yeah well, you don't need any, beautiful."

"Aren't you a charmer." She smiled as his nose pressed into hers. "Mm, I never thought I'd be so excited to go back to school."

"You always are anyway," he teased, and she wrinkled her nose at him.

"Well now I have another, better reason."

His smile softened. "I'm excited, too. And after the past year, I...I'm glad to have another chance, to make you happy."

"And you can write me letters," she suggested.

"I'll write you one every day if you want. We've been getting more of our debt paid off, on the ship. First thing I'll get is a carrier hawk, so I can have letters sent to you as often as possible."

"Once you go back to sea?"

"And if I can't take you with me."

She drew closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder, her forehead pressing into the crook of his neck. "You'll take me with you someday, if not right away."

"You know I will."

Jinora let out a soft, happy hum. "When do you wanna go down for breakfast?"

"Maybe before nine? I don't want us to be late, and...yeah. To be honest I sort of never want to get up."

"Neither do I." She leaned in and kissed him softly, enjoying the dry rawness of his mouth. They hadn't bothered to do much but wipe themselves down last night, and he'd pulled up his pants, but that had been about it. She rolled on top of him, resting her hands on his chest as she shaped her mouth over his, and he threaded his fingers through her hair, cupping her cheek. "Mmm…"

"Jinora," he said almost warningly, in between continually deepening kisses.

"Kai," she murmured, her voice low and breathy, and it was all he could do to hold onto some self-control.

"Don't you miss him at all?" he managed.

"Who?"

"Lee."

She froze. "I…" She sighed. "I don't," she admitted. "Not like that, anyway."

"Then why were you with him for so long? He—he loves you too."

"I...I thought I did, back when…" Jinora sat up, drawing her knees to her chest. "I suppose I've always loved him, but… Not like that. I had a crush on him but… it was only because you were gone, and I just didn't want to admit that. I didn't want to admit that I needed you."

"You seemed so upset when he broke up with you—"

"I was upset, but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. And then… I'm never sad when I'm around you. Not really."

"Even when…?"

"Even during the past year. I was only upset when you were away, but even when we fought… I was so angry, and maybe I was a little upset, but… I was also glad that you were with us again. Even if you pushed me away for a while."

"I thought of you all the time," he said softly, "in all sorts of ways, in ones I had no right to."

"Like what?"

"Like having you like this, and more."

She smiled softly. "They won't just have to be thoughts anymore."

He kissed the tip of her nose. "We can't tell Lee. Not right now."

"I know. Later, when...when you're ready, for us to be...something."

"But we'll never be nothing. I promise."

"I know," she repeated, this time kissing his mouth. He kissed her back with as much fervor, his hands clasping at the small of her back and lightly rumpling her blouse. She moaned softly as his tongue slid into her mouth, her fingers slipping along the sides of his neck. "Mm, you've gotta stop kissing me like this if you want me to stop wanting you," she murmured, once he'd stopped biting her bottom lip, her eyelids heavy.

"Then I guess I'll just keep kissing you like this," he said softly, a slight smirk lifting his lips.

She kissed his jaw, sliding her hand down his side. "Mm, but you know what I want. What I've wanted since that night I came to your cabin. I would have let you that night. I would have let you do whatever you wanted to me."

His breath hitched, and his hands curled into the fabric of her blouse. "That's what you came for?"

"That's what I want to come for."

He paused for a moment, just grasping at her blouse, before he abruptly rolled them over, his weight solid over hers as he kissed her hard. "And what about now?" he murmured. "What will you let me do to you now?"

"Anything," she replied breathlessly. "Everything."

"But what do you want?"

Jinora wrestled her shirt off, and then pulled him close, having worn nothing underneath. "Just touch me."

He stared at her for a moment, her breasts small and round and soft as they were pressed against his chest. He wrapped his arms tight around her waist, squeezing it gently as he pressed his open mouth to the crook of her neck, sucking hard on her pulse point, as he slowly slid a hand up and cupped one of her breasts. She let out a moan of encouragement as he gently kneaded her breast, pinching her nipple between his thumb and forefinger.

"Are boobs always this soft?" he asked, smiling, and she burst into flustered giggles, shoving him lightly in the shoulder.

"You're such an idiot," she said fondly, grinning as he kissed her. "Can't you be serious and sexy?"

"I thought I was sexy all the time," he teased.

"Shut up," she mumbled, unable to keep from smiling, and he kissed her again, sucking on her bottom lip as he pulled away, before ducking his head and sucking on the ridge of her collarbone. She raked her fingers through his hair, sighing softly as he trailed kisses down her chest, in between her breasts. His lips brushed the inner curve of her breast, and she let out a quiet whimper, heat pooling between her legs as his mouth latched onto her nipple. "Ah, Kai—" Her free hand snaked down between her legs, and he let out a sharp intake against her breast. "Keep going," she breathed, and his tongue flattened against her nipple as he sucked gently, one hand on her other breast, his other sliding up and down her waist.

"Jin," his voice was raw, as he smeared his mouth over her pink nipple, and she pushed a finger inside herself. He rubbed his hips against the mattress as he moved onto her other breast, giving it the same treatment, his hand cupping her breast, still warm and wet from his mouth.

She began writhing underneath him, moaning quietly, and he groaned into her skin as he worked himself into release, thick and warm in his pants, and he glanced up at Jinora's face, her eyes closed and her cheeks flushed as she touched herself. "Don't stop," she managed, and Kai pressed searing kisses to the underside of her breasts, nipping gently before he kissed her way back up to her mouth, swallowing the sharp moan that rose from her lips when she came.

It was nice to know he'd helped this time, too.

Kai gently cupped her face as he pulled away, their eyes locking as the space between their mouths trembled. "We should probably get to breakfast soon," he said quietly, and Jinora let out a soft laugh. "For real this time."

"Alright. Give me a moment to clean up?" She kissed him softly one more time before they both got up, and Jinora wiped off her hand on the sheets. "Wait for me by the stairs, we can go down together."

Kai pressed one more kiss to her forehead before leaving to go pull on new clothes, and Jinora let out a soft, happy sigh.

It seemed things were going their way for once, and this time, she wasn't going to take it for granted.


	15. Intimate

**a/n:** here's chapter fifteen, featuring teenagers stumbling through the first stages of their relationships, school, adulthood, and emotional/physical intimacy. chapter is rated very firmly M. enjoy

* * *

CHAPTER FIFTEEN: Intimate

The weekend before Lee's departure to university had come quickly, and Kai still found himself at a loss for words whenever it was the three of them together. Lee and Jinora had been able to hold simple, easy conversations, with no hard feelings between either of them, but Kai couldn't quite kick the guilt, though he wasn't sure he had anything to feel guilty for. They were broken up, and Jinora had gone back to him. And she'd been the one to initiate everything, and Lee had known that he'd liked her, so…

Still, trying not to hold Jinora's hand when Lee was around despite all those very good reasons still made him feel like a dumbass. So when Jinora had to leave them alone for a moment near where the ship was docked, he nearly jumped out of his skin when Lee asked, "Is Jinora really doing alright?"

"Huh?"

"I mean, after… I didn't expect her to be so shaken when I broke up with her, and I know she seems fine now, but… Is she really okay?"

Kai swallowed hard. "She is. She, uh…" He took a deep breath. "I should admit something to you."

"Again?" Lee said with a small smile.

Kai shot him a look. "Look, Jin and I—we usually hang out after your dates, and catch up, y'know, or—so I was there after you broke up with her and she was really upset, and then…"

"...You got back together?"

"I...kind of? We're not...really dating, but we...we're….something, I guess." He glanced at Lee cautiously. "Are you mad at me?"

"No. I...kind of expected it, honestly."

"You did?"

"I broke up with her because I knew her heart wasn't in it. You were back, and I think you've always been her first choice, and I didn't want to make her feel like she was stuck in something she wasn't emotionally invested in anymore."

"But it was right after you guys—"

"I think I was just fooling myself, while you were gone, because I wanted it to be true. But then when you came back, even when we were all...fighting, I could tell that—tell that I had been lying to myself as much as she was. I expected her to end it way earlier, actually."

Kai was quiet for a moment. "Do you still have feelings for her?" he asked after a little while.

"Yeah. But I think I'll be okay. Like you said before, who says you can't move on from your first love?" He smiled weakly.

"God, I'm so sorry—"

"Don't be sorry. Be grateful." Lee sighed. "I think going away to university is going to be good for me. For the three of us. I can have some distance, and you guys can figure out what you are without worrying about me. But you better write me this time, Tashi."

Kai smiled faintly. "I will, I promise. Thanks, Lee. You've always been a good friend… I don't think I've asked yet. What are you studying over at ZaFou?"

"Politics and economics. I want to change things, so that, well, more kids like you can go to school."

Kai's smile grew. "You're gonna make a hell of a politician, Sono. Who knows? I might even have to trust you."

"I'll be sure to continue to be someone who deserves it," Lee smiled. "Take care of yourself, while I'm gone. No more getting jumped while you're out alone at night, or not going to the nurse when you're sick, okay?"

"Hey, I've been better. I'm eating, sleeping regularly—okay, half regularly—and I'm on meds now, and I go to my sessions every Saturday."

"How are they?" Lee asked curiously. "You don't have to into detail, it's probably fairly private—"

"No, it's okay." Kai rubbed the back of his neck. "They're good, I guess. Draining. I've said a lot of stuff I've never said before, outloud, but Yung's always there, so…" Kai folded his hands back in his lap. "It's kind of nice, in a weird way. It was really hard in the beginning, and it's still not easy but… it's helping. I'm getting better, and knowing what I have, and that other people have it too, helps a lot. For me, anyway."

"PTSD and depression, right?" Lee said. Jinora had told him the diagnosis back in the beginning of the summer.

"And survivor's guilt, but yeah."

"I don't know if I have any right to say this, but...I'm really proud of you."

"I get it," Kai said quietly. "For the first time… I think I'm proud of myself too."

"You should be," Lee said, smiling softly.

"You boys ready?" Jinora asked, as she came back to their spot on the deck. She was holding up a photo album and a camera. "We have a lot of pictures to take before we start losing light."

"Yeah," Kai said, grinning brightly. "Come over here, we should get some with all three of us, first."

###

Moving the majority of her things over to Kai's room would've been more difficult had Kai not insisted on carrying most of the heavier things over himself. Jinora had felt a little self-conscious at first, going back and forth from the room she was supposed to have shared with Pfannee that year to Kai's room while the other boys living on that floor were also settling in, but Kai assured her that none of them would rat them out—they were all too scared of him to.

Besides, it was hard to worry when she was curled up in Kai's arms, their room completely unpacked with two days before classes started.

"If any of the boys do rat us out," Kai murmured, stroking her hair, "I can just kick their asses."

Jinora smiled. "And then I can sneak back in again?"

"Yep." He grinned, and pressed his smile to her hairline. "You make a good rebel."

"You're just a good influence on me."

"I am?"

"Of course you are. You don't think so?"

"I do convince you to start bonfires on the roof and skip class," he pointed out, and she wrinkled her nose at him.

"A few well-monitored fires and some days for mental health never hurt anyone. And we proofread each other's essays too." She beamed at him. "Your writing's improved a lot since you started coming here, by the way."

"I had a good teacher."

Jinora snuggled closer to him, her forehead nuzzling into the curve of his neck. "I missed you last year."

His smile faltered for a moment. "I know. I missed you too."

"We won't have to miss each other now." She smiled slightly. "We might even get sick of each other."

"Not possible. We might infuriate each other, but… we'll never get sick of each other." He swallowed. "Jin, would you—do you wanna go on, y'know, like a date?"

Jinora's expression brightened. "You really want to?"

"Yeah. I...I don't really know how this works, but I want to...to try this, with you. It might be nice. I mean, I've kinda been on dates before, so," he shrugged. "So, uh, what do you say?"

Jinora pressed a quick kiss to his jaw. "I'd love to."

"Okay." He grinned, still a little nervous. "Cool. Does next Friday work for you? Or Saturday?"

"Either. Or both."

He let out a soft chuckle. "We can do something on both days, then. Should I tell you what my ideas are or leave it up to a surprise?"

She grinned. "Surprise me."

"I figured," he teased. "Although we might have to have an evening date both days, since I have a session Saturday afternoon."

"I know," she said. "If you want, we can get a calendar and hang it up on our door, so we know when both of us are available and when we're not."

"I'd like that," he admitted.

"One with illustrations of baby animals, just for you."

"Shut up," he laughed. "I'm not that soft."

"Yes you are," she grinned. "And that's just one of the things I love about you."

"There's more than one reason?"

"Of course there is silly. Why did you think there was only one reason?"

"Because of my dashing good looks?" He teased. "Or because I took a bullet for you?"

"Because you stayed after taking a bullet for me," she said quietly.

He smiled softly and tucked her hair behind her ears. "Best thing I ever did."

Her smile widened. "Kai, do you remember our kiss on New Years?"

Kai nodded. "More than I thought I should have, sometimes."

"It was my first kiss," she mused. "Though I suppose we only count the one that happened at the end of your first year here?"

"I know it was your first," he said, wrinkling his nose at her, "but yes, I guess that's the one that counts. And it was way better, too."

Jinora bit her lip, unable to hold back a smile. "And they've all just been getting better."

"That's a good thing, isn't it?" he said, still teasing.

"You tell me."

He ran his fingers through her hair, lingering at her shoulder. "I could just show you."

"Mm, I like the sound of that." She smiled as Kai kissed her, softly at first, nipping gently at her bottom lip. She kissed him harder, shifting so she was on top of him, as he rested his hands at the small of her back.

This was the part she was looking forward to the most about sharing a room, she thought, bracketing his hips with her knees and pressing her crotch to his. He let out a muffled grunt, but didn't let go or push her away, as she rubbed her hips into his, aching to feel him between her legs. His fingers curled into her blouse, and she felt his length begin to press against her, tenting the front of his pants.

Jinora grinded against him, biting her bottom lip as a heated look passed between them. "Kai," she hissed, feeling him press more firmly against her. He tugged at her blouse, before slowly slipping his fingers beneath the material, just skimming her skin, seeing if she would stop him. She kissed him harder instead, and he slipped a hand beneath her shirt, his other hand resting over the curve of her breast, as her tongue darted into his mouth. She moaned quietly against his lips, rubbing her crotch harder against his as his hand slipped from her lower back to her bum, underneath her skirt, giving it a firm squeeze.

There was a loud knock at the door, and Jinora broke away from his lips with a grin. "Who is it?" she said irritably.

"Shen Shen. We're going out, wanna come?"

Jinora groaned, then sat up. "Give us a sec," she said, straightening out her clothes and getting off of her boyfriend. "We'll continue this later?"

He grinned. "Definitely."

###

Shaw's bar was exactly the good time Shen Shen had promised it would be. With one more year before they were all legally able to drink and Shen Shen's immaculate fake I.D.s, Jinora had opted to go along this time, even allowing herself a drink as they all sat close together in a crowded booth. Besides, even if they got caught, with her father no longer Governor, it wouldn't reflect nearly as badly if it somehow got to the local papers.

Pfannee had brought her boyfriend Zhang Chu along too, who was nice enough, Jinora supposed. She could see why Pfannee liked him, anyway, rich, handsome, and popular. It probably wouldn't last beyond a year, but who was she to say anything, really?

Zhang seemed particularly curious about Kai, though.

"So how long have you been a pirate?"

"Long enough," Kai said with a shrug. He had one arm around Jinora's shoulders. "But I've spent plenty of time in bars."

"Have you?"

"Yeah. It probably wasn't very responsible to let me go into one when I was eleven, but I figure I turned out okay."

"Eleven?"

"Yes?"

"What the hell were you doing in a bar at eleven?"

"Some of the crew wanted to take me along for a few deals. Yung was pissed when he found out, but he eased up after a few more trips. I think Lefty called it 'harm reduction', when he justified taking me along?"

"Lefty?"

"He's like my first mate's first mate. He's the oldest pirate on the ship, but he's more like a drunk uncle than a grandpa, I guess."

"And you call your dad by his name?"

"He's not really my dad," Kai said slowly. "He's my...caretaker, guardian, sort of thing. Like a parent."

"So did he adopt you?"

"I guess?"

"So you were an orphan?"

"Well, yeah." Jinora could feel Kai's shoulders tensing, as he averted his eyes. "What else would I be?"

Jinora took his hand. "A wonderful boyfriend?" Kai smiled softly, giving her hand a quick squeeze.

"It really is about time," Shen Shen said, as she took another sip of her drink. "I was beginning to think I'd have to shove you two into a closet or something. Or get you both really drunk."

"Shut up," Jinora said, almost smiling when Kai laughed.

"Well, I'm sure I won't have to push you into a closet now, you'll be dying to find one one your own—Wait, I'm sure you won't need to, now that you have a room all to yourselves—"

"Gross," Miki said, and Jinora kicked her in the shin.

"I'm going to kill you guys," Jinora said, barely hiding a laugh.

"What, for stating the truth? There's a reason we have to keep you both living together a secret," said Shen Shen, glancing idly at her nails.

"We're not sleeping together," Kai said. "And you have a room to yourself now, so don't get your corset in a twist, Sesi."

"Oh, fine, be boring, both of you," Shen Shen sighed. "Miki, let's go get another drink, and get away from the lovebirds table for a while."

"Does this mean I can go read in the bathroom now?"

"Ugh, yes." Both girls scooted out of the booth, Shen Shen going back up to the bar while Miki made a beeline for the bathroom.

"They're just teasing us because I was more uptight when we were all kids," Jinora said, resting her head on Kai's shoulder.

"I think I can take a little teasing, after everything," Kai said. "And speaking of which, you sure you don't want a drink, Gyatso?"

"No, but I'll go with you if you want one."

Kai smiled faintly. "I'm fine right here. Yung says staying sober is good for my health."

"Alright." Jinora settled back into his side, only vaguely aware that Pfannee and Zhang had left, either to get another drink or to go back to the dorms. She wasn't sure, and she figured that she could check on her in the morning, as she took another sip of her drink, the sugary taste overpowering the bitterness of the alcohol. "Kai?"

"Hmm?"

"Did you mind, when I called you my boyfriend, a few minutes ago?"

Kai smiled softly, stroking his thumb over the curve of her shoulder. "No. I kind of liked it, actually."

"Only kind of?"

"I liked it," he amended. "Almost as much as I like you."

Jinora smiled widely. "You sap," she murmured, before pulling him into a kiss. Kai cupped her face as he kissed her back for a good five minutes, pulling away slowly. "Thank you," she whispered.

"For what?"

"Giving us another shot."

Kai's smile softened. "I think I should be thanking you. C'mon, lemme buy you a drink. Even if it's just a water."

"Alright. Should I wait here, or…?"

"If you want."

Jinora thought for a moment. "I'll come along. In case I change my mind."

"Hey, I'll keep you safe, and responsible," he said, sticking close to her side as they got up from their booth. "I barfed all over the deck the first time I drank too much. I'm not letting that happen to you."

"My prince in shining armour, you are."

He laughed. "Exactly. I have a sword and everything. Shall I get you a drink, milady?"

She leaned against him, giggling. "If you insist."

###

Two hours later they were back in their dorm room, kissing sloppily with her top on the floor and his pants undone. His hands were snug on her waist as they laid in bed together, and he pulled away from her kiss swollen lips to quip, "Guess this means our first date was a good one?"

Jinora let out a soft giggle. "I guess it does." She tugged at the hem of his shirt as she kissed him again, slipping her fingers beneath the material, skimming over the hard muscles along his stomach. She grasped at his sides, shifting her weight more firmly on top of his. "Kai," she breathed, her hands sliding down to the rim of his pants. "I want to…"

He let out a soft groan as he moved into more of a sitting position. "Jin, you know that we..."

"Everyone will assume we're sleeping together anyway. Even if they never find out we're sharing a room. I don't care about my reputation, I… I want you."

Kai gently cupped the side of her face, running his thumb along her cheek. "You're sure?"

"I'm sure."

He shifted so his weight was over hers, picking at the band of her skirt as his nose pressed into the curve of her cheek. "If you don't like something I do, tell me, and I'll stop. Okay?"

"Okay. I trust you."

"I trust you too." He slid her skirt down her legs, dropping it onto the floor, and then fully taking off his pants. He took off his shirt and then her bra, his breath quivering in his throat. "We don't… do we have a condom?" he managed.

"I've been on birth control since I first got my period," Jinora said. She'd been a late bloomer at fourteen.

He tapped his fingers nervously on his knees. "I know, I just… I really think we should get a condom, we can wait until next weekend so we have one and—"

She sat up, laying a hand over his. "Kai, we don't have to do this if you don't want to, or if you don't feel ready."

He sighed, curving his palm to hold hers. "I want to, I just—I was already your first kiss, and we'll—you'll remember these things for the rest of your life. I just wanna do right by you. I don't want to mess it up."

"You won't mess it up," she promised, giving him a small smile. "And there's no one I'd rather have my first time with. I love you. If you really want a condom, we can wait. We can wait as long as you need. It's okay."

Kai took a breath. "Alright. I'll...I'll let you know, when I'm ready."

Jinora pressed a kiss to his cheek. "We're okay?"

He smiled at her, genuine and soft. "We're okay."

"Good." She tucked herself into his side, resting her head on his chest. "I'm sorry if I've been putting pressure on you."

"You haven't." He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "If anything, I'm the one putting pressure on myself, and that's not your fault."

"You are?"

He nodded. "I guess I just...figured I should already know what to do, you know?"

She smiled softly. "I understand that. You know you don't have to, right?"

"I know, I just… I never thought my first time would be with someone I really love, and now it will be, and…" He flushed, glancing up at the ceiling. "Sex isn't usually very emotional for pirates, or at least, it isn't for the rest of the crew. They have one night stands and flings all the time, except for Daw. He doesn't like anyone like that." He glanced back at her. "I didn't worry as much about how I would...perform, my first time, when I thought it would just be with someone I liked well enough. Not with someone important to me."

"Were you ever… tempted, before we met? Or… while you were away?"

"I was too busy before we met, and a pretty short and scrawny fifteen year old. And while I was away, when I wasn't trapped in my head… I thought about nothing except you."

Jinora's smile grew. "I'm nervous too," she admitted.

"You are?"

"Of course I am. Your first time, it's special. In my crowd, they make an even bigger deal about it. It's not supposed to be something that happens until your wedding night. But if I'm ever with someone else who can't accept that I loved you first, well, then, I'll dump them on the spot. You're my first love, and I want to share this with you, regardless of what happens between us… but I do hope you're my last, too."

Kai smiled faintly. "I hope that you're my last, too."

Jinora rested her head back on his shoulder, allowing her eyelids to droop closed. "Is it okay if I fall asleep like this? You'll still be comfy?" she checked, a little drowsy with sleep.

"Yeah." He pressed a kiss to her hairline. "Sleep well, Jin."

"You too, Captain."

###

Life went on as normal. Kai walked Jinora to her classes and joined her and the girls for lunch at break, and he went to his counselling sessions every Saturday afternoon. He and Jinora had a little date every Friday, whether it was going for coffee or just a study date. She argued (and won) with her politics professor and wrote home to her family, and occasionally pestered him to write his essays and letters to Yung, too. Sunday was a day for Miki, Pfannee, Shen Shen, and Jinora to have a 'girls' day, which was fine by him, as even if he had ever been invited, he had never been too comfortable with shopping or eating at fancy establishments anyway.

It was the days that the girls were gone he spent mostly holed up in his room doing homework, and when he did venture out, the bullies did too.

The gossip of where he had been, his sudden drop out, and stay in the infirmary, hadn't faded from the previous year, nor had the gossip about him and Jinora, but he tried not to let it get to him. He was never going to fit in with these narrow minded kids and that was fine by him. He just wished they would leave him alone.

"Hey Tashi!"

Kai rolled his eyes, but didn't look back at the sound of Pene's voice.

"Hey, where do you go every Saturday? Chu thinks you get chucked in the looney bin—" A hand landed on his shoulder, and Kai reacted without thinking. Before his mind had caught up with the rest of him, he found himself face-to-face with Pene, his forearm pressed into his collarbone, pinning him against the lockers.

"Leave me alone," Kai hissed. "You're a pathetic little asshole who will never amount to anything, and the fact that you don't know when to drop things is proof of that." And Kai let him drop, glowering as Pene fell to his feet.

"Fighting again, Mr Tashi, Mr Pene?"

Kai straightened up to see one of their professors, Professor Chii, striding towards them. "No sir."

"Good." The professor gave them one last suspecting look before leaving, and Kai shot one last glare at Lang Pene.

"You come after me or my friends one more time, and I will finish this," Kai warned, before heading down the hallway. If he was lucky, gossip about the incident wouldn't reach Jinora or any of the girls.

He wasn't lucky, but wasn't very surprised that Shen Shen was the only one who knew by that Sunday evening.

"So I heard you slammed Lang Pene's head into the lockers, left a dent, and basically concussed him?"

"You'll see no proof of a dent, and I'm not a nurse, so I don't know," Kai said, when Shen Shen approached him in his room. Jinora and the other girls were out, probably lagging behind in a bookstore.

"You could have gotten detention."

"Because I've never had that before?"

"It could have interfered with your sessions. The school doesn't know about them, do they?"

Kai shifted uncomfortably in his desk chair. "Not exactly. I mean, the head of school does, because I had to get special permission to leave every Saturday, but… if your actual question is if I want the school to know, the answer is no."

"Exactly. So calm down, dummy, before your temper gets you into a situation you can't get out of."

Kai let out a soft sigh, dropping her gaze. "Sesi… Shen Shen…" he said quietly. "Do you think I deserve to get chucked in a looney bin?"

Shen Shen raised an eyebrow. "You want to know if I think you're crazy?"

"Well?"

"That's kind of a harsh word," she said, and Kai almost laughed.

"Not what I would've expected to hear from you, of all people."

"It is. And some people are, and it's sad." She glanced at him. "But I don't think you are."

"You don't?"

Shen Shen shook her head. "I think you've been hurt."

Kai glanced at his feet. "Well… you're not wrong about that."

"By who, if you don't mind me asking?"

"A lot of people. Mostly parental figures. Not Yung," he clarified quickly. "But before, and… I think I've hurt myself a lot too. Or at least, that's one thing my therapist and I can agree on."

"And...now?"

"My therapist has been trying to help me learn ways to...deal with it, that don't result in me hurting myself. Or others. And it's been working, most of the time. Sometimes. At least, I haven't had nightmares since school started. That's a big step up, and it's good for Jin too, because then she can get a good night's sleep too."

Shen Shen ran her fingers through her glossy hair. "You really aren't sleeping with her, are you?"

"No. We've...talked about it, but we're not ready yet. I'm not ready yet."

"That's good, that you've talked about it," Shen Shen said. "She's been a lot happier, having you around."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. And...you plan to stay around, this time?"

"Yes," Kai said quickly. "Neither of us know where we'll be after next year, but I'm not dropping out of her life. Not again."

"Good." Shen Shen glanced back at the door, just as the faint sound of voices drifted in through the hall. "Well, it looks like the rest of us are here to drop your girl off. Don't have too much fun when we're gone."

Kai let out a soft snort. "No promises. Hey, Shen Shen?" She paused, leaving the door ajar. "You're not as scary as people say you are."

Shen Shen's red lips lifted slightly. "Clearly I'm not doing my job right, then, pirate," she teased. She turned back towards the sound of the girls chatting leisurely, Jinora setting her shopping bags down and sitting next to Kai.

"Shen Shen any easier on you this time?" she asked.

"Never," Shen Shen said, as she looped her arm in Pfannee's, and tugged her and Miki away.

Jinora shut the door behind them, shaking her head. "Sorry to leave you on your own," she said, smiling.

"I can handle Shen Shen," Kai said, standing up. "In a different way than I handle you," he added, grabbing her hips and pulling her to him. Jinora let out a soft giggle, wrapping her arms loosely around his neck.

"I would hope so," Jinora said. "You're not her type."

Kai laughed. "C'mere you," he said, and then kissed her firmly. She melted against his lips, drawing closer to him as he softened, gently cupping her cheek before he pulled away. "You had fun?"

"Yeah. Your session went well?"

Kai nodded. He never talked much about them afterwards, and Jinora never pressed him to. "Yeah. It wasn't too bad. Yung took me out for ice cream afterwards, and… Dr. Aput wants to talk about you, next week. Well, us."

Jinora raised an eyebrow. "He does?"

"Yeah. He… thinks you're an important part of my recovery. Or, my support system. But you're a good thing." Kai brushed a stray strand of hair from her face. "We both agree on that."

Jinora smiled softly. "Good. I...if I ever thought I was hindering your recovery—"

"You're not." He took both her hands in his, pressing a kiss to the back of her fingers. "You're helping. I promise. I know I wasn't sure if I was ready for this, us, but… you make me want to get out of bed every day." He rested his forehead against hers. "And...that's a lot, right now. More than you know."

She kissed him softly. "You wanna go to bed now?"

"Yeah. If that's okay with you?"

Jinora nodded, smiling and leaning up to kiss his temple. "C'mon." She tugged him over to their bed, as they both stripped and pulled on pajamas. She snuggled into his side once she was in her nightgown, resting her head on his bare chest, and kissed one of his scars. "I love you."

"I love you too."

###

Dr. Aput's office was clean and small with bright windows and a calendar, and squashy armchairs as Kai took a seat across from him. Yung was waiting in the hall and reading a book to pass the time.

"Now Kai," Dr. Aput began, "where are you in your relationship with Miss Jinora Gyatso?"

"We're good," Kai said, smiling brightly. "We had a study date last night. She's usually better at staying focused than I am, but I guess it works out, since I'm also the one that remembers when we need to take our breaks."

Dr. Aput smiled, brown eyes crinkling. "You've told me about your history with her. Is there anything you've left out?"

"I don't think so. I told you how we met, and about Lee, and our friendship, and...when I stopped talking to her, and now, how we got to here."

"And your relationship with Miss Gyatso, it's physical?"

"It...can be." Kai squirmed slightly. "Not...all the way? But um—can I ask why you're asking this?"

Dr. Aput set down his clipboard. "Can I make a guess?" Kai nodded. "You're the one who wants to wait."

Kai was silent for a moment, and pursed his lips. "How'd you know?"

"Because I think the reason you're scared of being intimate relates back to something else. Jinora is your first serious relationship, is she not?"

"Yeah, she is."

"And you've come to depend on her family for a lot. For school, these appointments, and for the opportunities presented to you, other than the life of a pirate. Kai, are you scared that Jinora is going to leave you?"

"No," he said truthfully.

"Are you scared that you'll feel like you have to leave her? In order for her to have something better?"

"No." Another truth, and one that had taken a very long way to get to. "I… I don't want to. And I know she doesn't want me to either, but I don't know where our futures will take us."

Dr. Aput's smile grew. "Do you feel as though her family's generosity is dependent on the state of your relationship with her? That their love does not transcend it? That, by becoming intimate with her, your relationship would become something serious, and through it, her family's love for you could become conditional?"

Kai paused for a moment, before he slowly said, "I don't know. Kind of? I know they took me back, but that was because Yung gave them a reason to, because I was falling apart and I needed help, but if I wasn't… I don't know."

"You've had three conditional parental figures in your life, correct? Your father, the head of your orphanage, and your captain, the latter to a lesser extent?"

Kai nodded. "Zaheer wasn't as bad as the other two."

"Considering what the other two did to you, that is hardly a point in his favour, and like we've discussed, I think his abuse towards you was far more mental and emotional than physical, although that played a part too. But Kai, I want you to think about the unconditional parent you do have: Yung. What made you realize that he was different than the others?"

Kai looked at the floor. "I didn't have to do anything for him to love me."

"But the Gyatsos, you had to save them. You had to love their daughter."

"I don't love Jinora because I have to—"

"But you do feel like Mr and Mrs Gyatso would choose their own children's heartbreak over yours?"

"Well, I—" Kai let out a long sigh. "What are you trying to say?"

"You're scared of being serious with Jinora because, if you two ended horribly, it would mean losing her family—people you've started to consider your family, too—as well. Am I getting close?"

"I guess it has been a thought in the back of my mind," he mumbled.

"Then perhaps it's been more prevalent than you've realized."

"I would love her even if her family wasn't helping me. I...I don't know how we would work, but I know I would."

"I don't doubt that. But do you think her family would love you regardless of your relationship with her? She was the one who vouched for you to stay with her family, was she not?"

"She was." Kai ran his fingers through his hair. "I dunno, it's like...a cycle, I guess. I want to be with her because of her, but if I screw anything up I'll lose her family, and then I also lose her, and then…" He dragged a hand down his face. "Then I'm right back where I started, only with a half-assed education and unable to afford therapy when I know it would be helping."

"And with other parental figures out of the picture?"

"Yeah. I guess."

"And Mrs Gyatso is the first mother figure you've had in a long time. And you saw your mother in Jinora, that day in the bank."

Kai nodded. "There's something else, too."

"Oh?"

"I told you about the boy, and the orphanage. The family that wanted to adopt me, but I let him take my place instead, so he could live."

"You did," Dr. Aput acknowledged.

"His name is Charo Zhang. He goes to school with us."

"And does that bother you?"

"No, it just… it just seems weird, that we both ended up in the same place, even though we would've grown up so differently. I've seen him. He doesn't even know who I am, but I know I could have had his life."

"And do you want his life?"

"No." The reply was immediate, but also true.

"Then perhaps you can take Charo Zhang as a comfort. You would have met Jinora regardless. Perhaps her family may have met you under more conventional, but not necessarily better, circumstances. But you did something in this life with a perspective you might not have had in the other, and because of it, you allowed her parents to connect with their daughter. That isn't a gift given to many, and nor is a parent's forgiveness of a broken heart. The Gyatsos love you, Kai, regardless of your relationship with Jinora. Yes, she might have been the one to build the bridge between you, but you crossed it all on your own."

Kai was quiet for a while. "You really think they'd still love me? Even if I messed it all up?"

"While it is natural for parents to attend to their children first, they've accepted you as part of their family, in your own way. The bond they've made with you, and Yung… They've invested more than just money or publicity in you, Kai."

"You really think so?"

"What do you think?"

Kai managed a tiny smile. "Even if Yung asked them to help...he did say they were already willing. And they forgave me right away, and…" He took a deep breath. "I...I still have to figure this all out in my own head, I guess. People not leaving were...always the exception to the rule, before."

"Sometimes, rules change."

His smile grew. "Yeah. Sometimes they do."

"I think we're almost out of time for the day, but is there anything else you'd like to go over while we're here?"

Kai shook his head. "I think I'm good."

"Alright. If there's anything you need before our next session, you can always send a letter, and—"

"I know. Thanks."

Dr. Aput smiled. "Then I'll see you next week."

"See you next week, sir."

###

"Hey Jin," Kai said that night, when she was undoing her bun and they were getting ready for bed, "can we talk?"

She paused, her hand very slowly unravelling her bun. "About what?"

"Just… Therapy, today, got me thinking."

Jinora let her hair fall to her shoulders, as she sat down next to him on the bed. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, I just...realized that, um…" He rubbed the back of his neck. "Intimacy kind of scares me."

"Oh?"

"And we've been...really emotionally intimate, in a lot of ways, and it's...nice—more than nice—but I just—" He let out a huff of frustration. "I—I want us to...to get more…serious, I guess, but I—"

She took his hand. "It's okay if you don't know what to say. Take your time."

He took a deep breath, and slowed down. "I think I was scared, that if we were serious, if I messed up again, I'd lose you, and your family," he mumbled. "But… I don't think I'm scared anymore."

She squeezed his hand. "Kai?"

"I want to have sex with you."

Her eyes widened, and her cheeks flushed. "You're sure?"

"Yeah. I know this probably isn't the most romantic lead in, but…"

"It's fine," she murmured. "It's perfect, are—are you sure you don't want to wait a little longer? If you only realized this today…"

"I'm sure." He smiled slightly. "Nervous, but...sure."

Jinora smiled, and leaned into kiss him, chastely at first. "Okay." She kissed him again, more slowly, as Kai wound an arm around her waist, drawing her closer. He slowly deepened it, until she was pressed against him, their kisses growing more heated. She pressed herself up against him, clinging to him as he lowered her onto the bed, his tongue tracing the curves of her mouth.

"Do you still want a condom?" she asked in between kisses, as she picked at the buttons of his shirt.

He shook his head, similarly undoing the buttons of her blouse. "Not unless you want me to wear one."

"No," she murmured, pushing his shirt off his shoulders. She ran her fingers along his upper arms, feeling every curve and dip of hard muscle. "I...I want to feel you."

He leaned down and kissed her again, sucking on her bottom lip as he helped her out of her blouse, and then reached for her skirt. They both sat up slightly, panting as they tore their lips apart, and stripped away each other's remaining layers of clothing. "You're so beautiful," he murmured, and she leaned up to kiss him again, pushing her hips gently into his.

"So are you."

She laid back down on the bed, drinking him in with her eyes as he did the same to her, slowly letting his weight settle over her the way it had many times before, only this was different. She could feel every inch of him, his warm skin and lean muscle, pressing into every inch of her, her skin blazing under his touch, one of his hands in her hair as he kissed her slowly, gently.

"I'll do my best to make you come," he whispered, "before I do."

She held back a quiet moan just at the notion, the gravity of what they were about to do—what they were about to become to each other—sinking in, and she cupped one side of his face, stroking her fingers over his jaw. "This isn't about finishing," she whispered back.

"I know. I'll try, anyway."

She shushed him gently. "Just...make love to me."

He kissed her firmly, and his tip very gently pressed between her dripping folds. She gripped at his hair as he slowly slid in. There was a bit of pain as she stretched, but hardly any, and she quivered around him. He was hot and throbbing and God, she had never felt so filled in her life.

He started thrusting into her, slow and deep, a little jerky as he tried to find a rhythm. Jinora gripped at his shoulders as she rolled her hips into his, helping him even out, and soon they were moving together, a little clumsily, but together.

"Kai," she moaned softly in his ear. His mouth grazed the shell of her ear, his breath hot on her skin.

"Jinora," he rasped. His hands slid down to her hips, gripping them firmly as he began to thrust harder, angling himself in deeper. Her nails dug into his shoulder blades, her chest flush against his.

Jinora moaned, low and urgent, her thighs wrapping around his hips in desperation, her moan dying in her throat when he hit a particular spot, and she shuddered. "Ah—there," she managed, pressing her mouth to his ear. "Right there—" She shuddered again when he hit that spot again, soon moaning freely as he continued, pounding into her at just the right angle.

Kai was shaking above her, one of his elbows bent next to her head to support her weight, and his other hand fumbled between their bodies before finding and pressing down on her clit. "Jin," he groaned, hoarse and quiet, "I'm gonna come soon—"

She took his face in her hands, kissing him sloppily, and breaking away with a moan as his thumb pressed against her clit, and he kept up his same rhythm. "Shhh, it's alright," she croaked, their gazes locking, and she let out a soft cry as he thrusted harder. "I love you."

He let out a broken cry as he found his release inside her, still thumbing at her clit, though his movements grew jerkier. He was hot and overflowing, thick heat dripping onto her thighs as his hips gradually slowed, his thumb clumsy but still bringing her pleasure. She rocked into him, clawing at his back as she felt herself edging closer to climax, when—

"Kai," she gasped, her body clenching suddenly around his. She let out a sharp moan, clinging to him as pleasure wracked every part of her body, and gods above, this was so much better, so much more with another person.

She was still panting as they both came down from their high, trembling with sweaty skin sticking to sweaty skin. He pressed a fumbling kiss to the corner of her mouth. "You okay?" he murmured.

"Yeah," she said, still breathless. "You?"

"Yeah." He grunted as he lifted his weight off of hers slightly, and pulled out, before flopping down beside her on his back. He reached for her hand, lacing his fingers through hers, and giving her hand a light squeeze. "I love you too."

Jinora turned her head toward him, smiling softly, before curling into his side. "I'm glad you were my first."

Kai wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pressing his upturned lips to her hairline. "Me too… er, isn't there something about you needing to go pee after sex?"

"Is there?"

"To avoid an infection, or something?"

"My mom might have mentioned it, back when she first talked to me about that sort of thing…" Jinora pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. "I'll be right back."

She re-joined him a few minutes later, and snuggled up against his side, and curved an arm over her waist. "So," he said, his voice still hoarse, but almost squeaking slightly, "was it—how was it, for you?"

She smiled at him, wrinkling her nose. "Kai, I came. How do you think it went?"

"Well, good, I hope but… I don't know, shouldn't we talk about it?" The tips of his ears turned a deeper red.

Jinora let out a soft giggle. "We can, if you want."

"Lefty said healthy communication is really important when it comes to sex," Kai mumbled.

Jinora quieted. "Hey, I won't laugh," she promised, her voice softening as she turned his face towards her. "And I wasn't laughing at you. I appreciate that you want to talk, and...I guess I'm nervous, talking about it. We usually don't, in my crowd… But you're right. We should talk about it." She smiled softly. "I'm glad, that you want to talk about it."

He pressed his lips to her forehead. "Thank you. I mean, I just wanna talk, so we know that we're both always comfortable, and we can figure things out together, like where we go from here, and how we can make love better next time."

She bit her lip. "I...think I have a suggestion."

"Yeah?"

"I...I think it'd help, if we spent more time...building up to it?"

"Okay. Did...did it hurt, or—"

"No, not really, just… It might help me finish faster, and you last a little longer, so we're a little more even?"

Kai gave her a small, relieved smile. "Yeah. Yeah, that's smart."

"I liked everything else, though. Is there anything you want to suggest?"

"Well…" he considered. "For now, it makes sense to stick with this position, while we get the hang of everything, but it couldn't hurt afterwards to try out different ones, and figure out which one is best for us? I mean, maybe it's this one, because it was pretty great—you were pretty great, and I liked having you so close—but maybe there are others we might like too?"

"Yeah. I...don't know much about that, so you could show me, along the way?"

He nodded. "We'll learn together. I don't have it all figured out either, remember?"

Jinora's smile widened, and she snuggled closer to him. "I'm so glad it's you," she whispered.

"I'm glad it's you, too." He cupped her face with one hand, stroking his thumb over her cheek, and looking at her with tender eyes. "I love you so much."

"I love you too." She nuzzled into the crook of his neck, breathing him in, and revelling in the fact that tomorrow was Sunday and they could sleep in as late as they wanted. "Good night, Kai."

"G'night, Jin."

###

Jinora finally got to take him ice skating.

The day after they came back to the estate for the winter break, she took him out to the nearest frozen lake, with new ice skates in his size. They were bundled up, holding hands through thick mittens as Jinora guided him onto the ice. She hadn't wanted to spend too much time in the mansion, with her father being on a proper vacation rather than going into town for work as Governor a few hours a day the way he used to, and either way, Kai had expressed interest in her idea of going ice skating. Mostly.

"I don't think this is gonna be as fun as you made it out to be," Kai told her, hands twitching nervously. She took his hands more firmly in hers, squeezing them gently.

"You're doing great. Just keep going slow, and don't be afraid to fall. I'll catch you."

"I'm a lot heavier than I look."

"And I'm not afraid to fall with you. Now trust me, okay? Let's just give this a shot."

He took a deep breath, his exhalation floating out of his mouth like smoke. He took small, wobbly steps, trying to lean into them as Jinora guided him around the ice, not letting go. "You're really good at this," he managed, and Jinora smiled softly.

"Thanks. And you will be, too."

Kai let out a soft snort. "If I don't break my hip first."

"You're not that much older than me," Jinora said, biting back a laugh.

"I'll be even taller than you, once I finally stop growing," he teased. "You're like a short stack of pancakes."

"But you love pancakes," she pointed out.

"Exactly."

Jinora smiled despite herself, tugging Kai along a little faster. "And that's the only reason I haven't let you fall yet."

"If we're being honest, we both know I fell a long time ago."

Jinora flushed. "Shut up."

Kai drew closer, his balance for a moment growing steadier. "Make me."

Jinora tugged him to her, kissing him softly, unable to do so properly as she giggled against his mouth. "If we're going to continue this, we should probably get off the ice," she managed, as he held her closer; it'd be all too easy to ruin their balance, and their makeout, like this.

"You're the one who insisted on bringing me out here," he grinned, and she wrinkled her nose at him. "But I am having a good time, if you wanna skate a little longer."

Jinora smirked at him. "I think I have something else in mind, now."

"Mm…" Kai let his lips brush hers one more time, before he said, "Then you'll have to help me off the ice."

Jinora laughed again as she guided him back onto the snow, and they collapsed onto the solid ground, not waiting to get back up to continue kissing and laughing. Her laughter quieted as he kissed her harder, his gloved hand resting at her waist, and she pulled him flush to her.

"You're beautiful," he murmured. Jinora tangled her gloved hand in his hair and kissed him harder, running her free hand up his shoulder. "The snow's freezing."

"That's why you're the one on the bottom this time," she told him, kissing his jaw.

He grinned. "And you'll warm me up at home, Gyatso?"

She pressed one last kiss to his mouth, smiling softly. "You know I will." She slowly got off of him, helping him sit back up and getting off his ice skates. They each had an arm wrapped snug around the other as they trekked back to the mansion in their normal snow boots.

Kai took off his coat in the family's large foyer, shaking off the servant who offered to take it for him, and the snow off his boots. Jinora let Gashun the butler help her, before they both headed to the kitchen under the guise of getting hot chocolate, waiting until Gashun was gone to circle back up and sneaking upstairs to her room, her leaving first with a good five minutes head start.

He slipped inside later to find her hair already down and out of its usual bun, wearing only a light tan sweater and her leggings as she looked up eagerly at him, standing a few feet away from him. Kai crossed the space between them, bringing her into his arms and kissing her fiercely, her lips cold and still tender against his.

Jinora gripped at the back of his shirt, tugging at it, and he pulled away slightly, just enough to let her pull the shirt off over his head before he pulled her back to him. Kai cupped her face in his hands as she tucked her hands over his hips, between his pants, and Kai lightly grinded his hips into hers. Jinora sighed as she reciprocated, and they stumbled backwards towards her bed.

Kai let her fall backwards onto her bed, leaning over to kiss her before he drew away. He went to go lock her door while she shed the rest of her clothes, and he came back to her, undoing his pants and pushing them off along with his boxers. The snow fell outside her window as he leaned down to kiss her again, and slipped his hand between her legs. He'd never get tired of looking at her.

"Getting warmer?" he asked, rubbing gently along her entrance. Jinora let out a soft sigh, and nodded, her eyelids drooping. She whimpered when he pushed a finger inside her, and she rocked her hips upwards into his hand as he ducked his head and kissed her neck.

"Kai," she moaned softly, and he shushed her.

"We have to be quiet baby," he reminded her, drawing his hand away from between her legs. He rested it on her hip, and slowly began grinding into her, coating his cock in her dripping heat.

Jinora clutched at his back, wrapping her thighs around his hips and grinding against him, craving friction. "Mm, baby, I need you," she whispered. They had decided it would be a nickname only for the bedroom. "Please."

Kai trailed his mouth along the underside of her jaw, before he slowly slid into her. Jinora let out a quiet moan, her nails scraping against his skin as he began to thrust into her. She pushed her hips into his in response, finding it easier to fall into their own rhythm, now that they had a little more experience. It had been nearly two months since they'd had their first time, and it had taken time, but now it was one of her favourite ways to connect with him.

"This okay?" he asked, a slight jerk in his voice as they moved together.

"Perfect," she breathed. "You're perfect."

She moaned softly in his ear, biting her lip and grateful her bed didn't creak as he thrusted hard into her, hitting that same familiar sweet spot until she came, and he followed quickly afterwards. He'd learned how to make her come quickly not long after their first time, but every time, it was still a pleasant surprise, enough to make her tremble even after they'd both gone still.

"I might look forward to ice skating more if it always ends like this," Kai said, and Jinora laughed softly.

"It just might." She let herself cuddle up to him once he had pulled out and moved onto his back, and rested her head on his chest, drawing patterns into his skin with her finger while he stroked her hair for a while, before she reluctantly pulled away. "We should probably get dressed."

"Alright." He sat up, pressing a quick kiss to the corner of her mouth, before picking his clothes off the floor and pulling them back on. He smiled softly when he turned back to find her still sitting on the bed. "Jin?"

"The holidays are gonna go by so fast," she said, "and I just want to spend so much of it with you."

"You will. Ice skating nearly every day, remember? And we'll get time to just...relax here, together. Even as soon as later tonight."

Jinora smiled. "I guess you're right."

"And I'll always come back around for the holidays, in future years."

Jinora's smile faltered. "I just want to think about this holiday. Since we didn't get to spend them together last year, and…" Her eyes were bright as she looked up at him. "I'm just...glad that we're finally together."

Kai kissed her temple. "So am I." He took her hand, gently tugging her up onto her feet. "Now come on, let's get dressed like you said, have dinner with your family, and then we can spend more time, just the two of us. Sound good?"

Jinora's smile grew. "Yeah. It does."

"Good."

###

The annual New Year's Ball had rolled around once again, and Jinora was glad to have Kai by her side, unlike last year. And even better, Lee and the girls were all there too.

"I take it university's going well?" Jinora asked, pulling away from their reunion hug.

"It's...everything I ever hoped," Lee said, and he had a relaxed, easy smile. "Hard, but good. I don't know how the student life at Ba Sing Se is, but I'm sure you'll love it too, when you get there."

"Assuming I get in," Jinora began.

"More like every university you apply to is gonna be clamoring over you," Kai said, coming back from the refreshment table and giving Lee a hug. "How are you doing, Sono?"

"Great, now that exams are over," he said.

"Which I'm sure you passed in your sleep."

"What about you? Staying out of trouble, I hope?"

"Do I ever?" Kai grinned, and Lee gave him a firm look. "I am, though, actually," he said, his smile turning sheepish as he rubbed the back of his neck. He glanced at Jinora. "Finally listening to the good influences in my life."

"Good to see you're finally admitting you listen to me, then," said Shen Shen, coming up behind him, and they all laughed. "It's good to see you, Sono." She leaned up and hugged him, a rare occurrence from Shen Shen even amongst her friends. (Other than Pfannee, anyway.) Lee paused in surprise, before hugging her back.

"Good to see you too. You turning soft, Sesi?"

Shen Shen scoffed, pulling away. "As if." Her eyes flickered over to the refreshment table. "Ah, there's Charo Zhang. I think I'm going to get myself asked to dance."

"Have fun," Jinora said, biting back a laugh as Shen Shen strode over to where Charo was helping himself to a drink. "I guess Pfannee's off with the other Zhang?" Pfannee's boyfriend Zhang Chu had been invited, too, along with the rest of his family.

"Probably. I haven't seen her yet tonight, anyway," said Kai.

"How is that, anyway?" Lee asked. "Zhang Chu and Pfannee?"

"Alright, as far as I know," Jinora said. "He doesn't spend as much time with the group, but he's not as bad as his friends, anyway."

"I heard from some of the girls in my class that dated him that he was kind of a player," Lee said, "but hopefully he's nicer to Pfannee."

"She does seem to really like him."

"I'll beat him up if he steps out of line," Kai said.

"Let's just hope he doesn't," Jinora said. She took Kai's hand, eliciting a small smile from him. "C'mon, let's go dance."

"Aren't I supposed to be asking you?"

"You know we don't care about gender roles, captain."

Kai grinned. "Lead the way, then."

"See you in a bit, Lee," Jinora said, before she and Kai walked onto the dance floor, smiling softly as Kai placed a hand at her waist, the other taking her mirroring hand. "Remember how to waltz?"

"Kinda. Promise not to get mad if I step on your toes?"

"Either I say yes, or we'll just end up standing here," Jinora pointed out with a slight smile.

"That's not so bad," said Kai, but he began to lead her in a simple waltz anyway, his steps small and slightly uneven, but a waltz all the same. He held her closer, his smile melting away when he spotted someone over her shoulder. "Ugh, it's the Chow family…"

They had seen them a few times, since Tenzin had lost the election to LingShi's uncle, Asun Chow, and Kai had only grown in dislike. They perpetually had their noses in the air and their heads up their asses, and LingShi had too much gloating pride in his glittery green eyes to be bearable.

"Maybe we won't have to talk to them," Jinora said quietly.

"I don't like how LingShi Chow looks at you," Kai revealed, squeezing her hand. "I don't like how he looks at anyone, but especially not at you."

"I'll be fine, Kai," she said, leaning up and kissing him softly, briefly. "I'll be with you and Lee and the girls all night, and I actually know how to throw a punch now, thanks to you."

Kai smiled slightly. "That does make me feel a little better," he said.

"And since we're officially dating now, it won't be improper for me to dance with you for as many songs as I want."

"Like the risk of something being improper has ever stopped you," Kai said, his lips turning up into a slight smirk.

She gave him a fond look, as their song ended. "Hush, you. Come on, I need a drink."

Jinora almost walked right back to the dance floor when she saw who had gathered around Lee at the refreshment table, and grabbed Kai's arm, but it was too late, as Lee's older brother spotted them.

"Aren't those your friends, little brother?" Shun asked, and Mr. and Mrs. Sono followed his gaze.

The Sonos had never met Kai, mostly out of pointed disinterest and dislike on the Sonos side, and Jinora had hardly seen them since she and Lee had ended things in mid-summer. They were under the impression the breakup was all her fault, despite Lee telling them the truth, and that she'd been a flighty young woman who'd left their commendable son for a stupid pirate. Now, she had no choice but to loop her arm through Kai's as she guided him over with a wide, fake smile.

"Mr. and Mrs. Sono, Shun, it's so good to see you again," she said, meeting Lee's eyes with a knowing glance. "I don't think you've yet had the privilege of meeting Kai Tashi?"

Lee gave Kai a look that seemed akin to whispering, _Run,_ but Kai managed his best fake smile anyway, and extended his hand to them. "It's nice to finally meet you. Lee's told me a lot about you."

"Hmm." Mr. Sono shook his hand briefly, before very quickly letting go. Jinora was just glad that all of Kai's tattoos were covered up by his white shirt and dinner jacket. "So you're my youngest son's...boarding school friend."

"Yes he is," Lee said, somewhat pointedly. "Kai writes me while I'm up at school."

"Oh." Mr. Sono looked mildly surprised, and proposed his question to Kai. "You know how to write?"

Kai stiffened, and Jinora squeezed his arm. "Yes, sir."

"I assume you had to learn from a tutor?"

"Yes I did, sir."

"And he's the best student that tutor's ever had," Jinora added. "Professor Zei's words, not mine."

"Not to mention he caught up with almost twelve years of schooling within a couple years, which is more than any of us has ever done," said Lee, and Kai almost smiled.

"And you plan to continue your education?" asked Shun, in a tone that Kai couldn't quite decipher. Was he being condescending or genuinely interested? No wonder he drove Lee nuts.

"I'm not sure yet," Kai said, which was mostly true. "University was never really on my radar before, so I'm still adjusting to having it as an option at all."

"Maybe Mr. Gyatso will actually have the budget to spend on his campaigning once he's done paying for your schooling," Shun said flippantly, and Kai could physically feel Jinora's anger radiating.

"My father has always had his priorities focused on the action, rather than campaigning. I'd hope your family would know this."

"Of course," Mr. Sono said quickly, and at the very least, he shot a warning look at Shun. "It was disheartening to hear of his loss, especially after our own personal investment in him after all these years."

"My father will manage, and is looking forward to his Council position in the meantime. He wants to focus on things he couldn't as Governor to the same degree, like implementing programs to help the poor, and the children who get left behind by the systems we currently have in place. So more people like Kai get more chances."

"How noble of him," Mr. Sono said, his tone bored and stiff.

"And what do you plan to do after graduation, Jinora?" Mrs. Sono asked politely.

"I've applied to Ba Sing Se University as my first choice, but I do have a few backups in mind," Jinora said, "in case I don't get in."

"You'll get in," Kai said, his eyes turning soft as he looked at her.

"Not finishing school?" Mrs. Sono asked, genuinely surprised.

"I talked it over with my father, and he didn't see why I couldn't continue my education the same way my male peers do. I think I'll end up majoring in history, or politics, perhaps both."

"Do you plan on taking your father's place as Governor?" Mr. Sono asked, now genuinely interested, though perhaps not pleased.

"If that's where my interest lies," Jinora answered, her tone clipped. "I've also considered going into teaching."

"Teaching would be...suitable," Mrs. Sono said, attempting an encouraging smile.

"She'll do great things no matter which she chooses, all that matters is that she's happy doing it," Kai said. "We're all very proud of her. Aren't we, Lee?"

"We definitely are," Lee said, giving both Kai and Jinora a genuine smile. "And her family's very proud too, as they should be. She's going to make the world a much better place, no matter what she does."

Warmth bloomed in her chest as Jinora looked at her boys. "Thank you, Lee."

"I still think it's a pity you decided not to go into the APA, little brother," Shun said. "You had so much interest in it a few years ago."

Kai raised his eyebrows. "You wanted to join the APA?"

"Four years ago," Lee said quickly.

"It was a noble pursuit, little brother. The APA help keep order."

Kai struggled to keep his voice calm. "In most of the towns I've visited, they're nothing but bullies."

"Perhaps your kind are simply the ones who need to be kept in order."

Kai frowned. "My kind?"

"No need to get offended. I merely mean that people like you, of lower income families—"

"Yeah, well I didn't have a family—"

"Regardless—your kind tend to act out more often, and therefore need to be regulated—"

"Shun, shut up," Lee said, his voice quiet but firm.

Shun looked flabbergasted. "I beg your—"

"I said, _shut up,_ " Lee said, a little louder. "You're being rude."

" _I'm_ being rude—?"

"You guys can go," Lee said, giving Kai and Jinora an apologetic look. "Thanks for saying hello to us."

"Thanks, Lee," Jinora mouthed, and then steered Kai away. She guided him out towards the gardens before they could get cornered by anyone else, or God forbid the Chows, and let go of him once he took a few steps out of her reach. "Kai?"

"The first APA officer I ever met," he said softly, his back to her, "I went to for help, because my orphanage...I couldn't take being there anymore." The snow on the hedges around them glistened in the moonlight.

"Kai," she said softly, reaching for his hand.

"I led him back to the orphanage and it… it turned out he was friends with the head of it, and he just—just stood there, and she beat me, worse than she ever had and I just—I just wanted to die so it would stop—"

"Kai." She gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "You're not there anymore. You'll never go there again."

"People like Lee's brother still think that people like me deserve that—"

"He's an idiot, and he's ignorant. He doesn't know what he's actually saying." She smiled sadly. "Most of the upper class doesn't. I didn't used to, not to the extent I do now, before I met you."

He swallowed hard. "I'm never really going to belong with your crowd."

"Kai…"

"It's true. Even though I belong with you. No matter what I do, or how hard I try, they'll never see me as anything other than… than a worthless piece of shit who doesn't deserve you and your family."

"It's not your fault that they're wrong."

"I know. It's just… frustrating." He rubbed at his eyes, sniffling pitifully. "S-sorry… I know this was supposed to be a happy night for us and now I'm ruining it—"

"It's okay," she said, wrapping her arms around him from behind. "You haven't ruined anything. I'm sorry they were so rude to you." She pressed a kiss between his shoulder blades. "I love you."

Kai took her hands, pressing his lips to her fingers. "I love you too. Hey… do you wanna just, ditch, the rest of the party? We could just go to the library, or something."

She smiled up at him as he turned around to face her. It was hard to even worry about her reputation for a moment when her boyfriend was looking at her with soft, glistening eyes and a half hopeful smile. "Yeah," she agreed. "We'll wait up in my room for midnight?"

"Yeah. Let's go."

###

They had already changed into their night clothes and were sipping hot chocolate as they sat on her bed, watching the hands of the clock draw closer to midnight.

"I was so nervous, after we kissed in the garden," he mumbled, his arm wrapped around her shoulders. "I don't know how I managed to make it through the next two hours, but I went to Yung immediately after you went to bed. I was such a nervous wreck."

Jinora looked up at him fondly, letting out a soft giggle. "So was I."

"Really?"

She nodded. "You seemed so embarrassed, I was so worried that you...didn't like me that way."

"Seriously? I thought I was being so obvious. That I'd scared you off, or something."

Jinora smiled softly, resting her head on his shoulder. "No. Never."

"I wish I'd been here last New Year's."

"You're here now." She wrinkled her nose. "Besides, last year, I would've been with Lee."

"Still. Even just to...be a better friend, than I was back then."

"We've all forgiven you." Her smile grew softer. "You saw Lee back there, and you had your own stuff to figure out. He doesn't stand against his family like that for just anyone. He doesn't hold anything against you, and neither do I."

"Yeah. I couldn't believe he wanted to join the APA at one point...he's nothing like them."

"We all thought the APA was good when we were younger. That's what we were are raised to believe, before…" She took his free hand, squeezing it gently. "You're helping a lot, you know, just by influencing us. My father even wants to try to reform the APA. To focus it more on rehabilitation, and poverty relief."

"He's got his work cut out for him, but...I appreciate it." Kai was silent for a moment, staring at the ceiling. "Yung never wanted kids, and I think I get it, y'know? If I ever had a kid and they ended up in a bad orphanage or, or had to go through any of the things I did—or even if I raised them, I'd—I'd be such a bad parent."

"No, you wouldn't be," Jinora said, wrapping her arm around his torso. "Your mother wasn't a bad parent, was she?"

"No. But she was a dead one. My father was the bad parent."

It was the first time he'd talked really outright about his family—at least about his father, and while it wasn't anything she hadn't already suspected, as he had never mentioned his father in a positive way in the same way he mentioned his mother, she still knew how much this meant for him.

"Well…" She turned her head, resting her chin on his chest and giving him a small smile. "What if we had kids together?"

Kai blinked in surprise, and for a moment Jinora grew nervous, when he smiled softly and said, "Well, you'd be a good mother." He brushed a strand of hair from her forehead. "And if we had kids together… I might love them too much, be too afraid of...of messing them up, you know?"

"You'd love them. That'd be enough."

"I don't know how to be a parent, I…"

"I don't think anyone knows. Even if I had good examples all my life, I know I'd unwittingly cause some damage, too. But you know what's also on my mind now?" She trailed her fingers up his chest. "If we're going to have a kid someday, shouldn't we practice, y'know, making one?"

"Always thinking ahead," he said fondly, smiling against her lips, "aren't you?"

She grinned at him, resting her hands on either side of his neck before leaning in to kiss him again. "Stop talking."

Kai gladly let her shift onto his lap, as she hiked up the skirts of her dress that left her back largely bare, his necklace gleaming at her throat as her hands moved to undo and push down his pants, just enough. He helped her out of her panties, and took off her dangling earrings, setting them carefully on her bed side table before nibbling on her earlobe. "Jin…"

The clock was reaching midnight, now.

Jinora let out a soft sigh, curling into him as his fingers slipped between her legs and stroked her in a way that was familiar and exhilarating. The midnight bell chimed as Kai pressed his open mouth to hers, and Jinora barely heard the cheering two floors down as Kai slipped a finger inside her. Jinora grasped at his length, stroking him too, their kisses growing sloppy and heated as their hands moved, until he tugged her bottom lip between his teeth and she knew what he needed.

Jinora withdrew her hand as he did the same, and she sank down onto his cock, taking him in all the way with a soft, pleased moan of relief. Kai picked at the straps of her nightgown as she adjusted, until they paused for a moment, and she helped him pull the entire article of clothing over her head. His hands found her bare breasts, squeezing as she leaned down to kiss him again, and rolled her hips hard into his. She moaned into his mouth, the noises muffled against his lips as he slid his tongue into her mouth, pushing his hips into hers.

He pulled away from her mouth to press wet, searing kisses to the column of her throat, and she let out a strangled moan, rocking her hips harder into his. "Baby," she murmured faintly, his mouth trailing down her collarbone and chest, latching onto a pert, pink nipple.

She moaned into his hair as she came, trembling and clutching at his shirt as he rose to kiss her again, spilling into her in a rush of thick heat. They both stopped moving for a moment, only kissing clumsily and fervently, the space between their mouths trembling as they pulled apart.

"I love you," he murmured, gazing at her tenderly.

"I love you too," she whispered, resting her forehead against his. "We should just go to bed?"

"Yeah. I should probably sneak over to my own room."

Her fingers curled into his shirt, not wanting to let him go. "Stay here tonight? No one will notice, it will be late mornings for everyone tomorrow."

Kai hesitated for a moment, before letting out a quiet chuckle. "You're a bad influence on me," he said, and she gave him a bright smile.

"That means you'll stay?"

"Yeah." He kissed her cheek. "I just gotta go pee, and you probably should, too?"

"Yes." She shoved him lightly in the shoulder. "Go. You're my furnace."

Kai grinned, and drew away, going over to her adjourning bathroom and peeing with the door open the way he would at school, too. Jinora sighed fondly, resting back against the pillows, and getting up once he was washing his hands to go pee too. Kai was waiting for her in bed once she had washed her hands too, and she curled into his side, resting her head on his chest.

"This is gonna be our year," she murmured, and he smiled softly.

"I like to think every other year after will be, too. Especially if we're gonna be making babies."

She snorted. "You know my father loves you, but don't let him hear you say that."

Kai chuckled. "I won't." He kissed her forehead. "Good night, Jin."

"Good night, Kai."

###

After the Spirit Festival Holiday, time seemed to go far too quickly. University submissions went out, Kai took his exams he had missed from nearly the past two years, which made him technically eligible, but there wasn't anything in particular that interested him, so he decided not to apply anywhere, and Jinora tried not to let it bother her too much.

"I mean, doesn't he want to continue his education?" she sighed to Shen Shen over Saturday lunch one day. They were in the library, while Kai was en route to St. Bosco's after coming back from his latest session.

"Maybe he misses being a captain," Shen Shen suggested.

"School was never really his thing in the first place," Miki reminded her, not looking up from her chemistry notes.

"But he's been doing so well, he already got a few of his exam scores back and they're fantastic—"

"I didn't say he couldn't, just that it wasn't his thing. He wasn't interested."

"Didn't you mention that he misses his crew, anyway?" Shen Shen added.

"Yeah. They were his first family," Jinora said quietly.

"And now he's in a better head space, and probably feels more up to leading them."

"I just… He could go so far in university."

"Specifically Ba Sing Se University?" Shen Shen asked.

"Well, it's a good school, and he could get in if he wanted to—"

"And that's where you're going," Miki said. "Just because your boyfriend doesn't want to do what you do doesn't mean he doesn't want to be with you."

"I'm not—"

"You want him to go to university with you, so you'll still be together," Shen Shen said.

"Well… So what if I do? What's wrong with that?"

"Would you be willing to go with him?"

"What?"

"To sea, instead of to university for your first year?"

"I'd like to go with him someday," Jinora said, frowning. "But not right away, I don't want to waste time in getting my education—" She could feel herself floundering, and snapped her book shut. "I'm going to go study in my room," she grumbled, packing up her things. "I'll see you all later."

"Jinora," Pfannee tried, but she was already storming out of the library.

She just wanted to stay with Kai. What was so wrong with that?

###

The door flew open and Kai looked up in surprise, smiling slightly when he saw Jinora come through the door. "Hey, I just got back, how was…?" Kai's smile faded when Jinora shut the door firmly behind her, before plopping down on the bed. "Is everything okay?"

"Why don't you want to go to university?"

"What?"

"Why don't you want to go? Don't you want an education?"

"I—I've already gotten more of an education than I ever thought I would, and I miss the ship, and the crew, and the sea," he said quietly. "I miss being captain, now that I think I'm finally in a good enough head space to handle it properly. Why? Aren't you excited to go to Ba Sing Se? You got that scholarship and everything."

"But…" Jinora's expression faltered. "You won't be there."

"We'll still write to each other, I'm gonna write you every day—"

"But you won't be there."

He frowned slightly, and took her hand. "Jinora, you're a huge, important part of my life… but you're not the only part, just like how I'm not the only part of yours. I still have to take care of my crew. We're—they're just starting to clear out any illegal work so we can have a fresh start."

Jinora glanced down at their joined hands. "I know. I don't want to stop you, and...I really am happy for you, and proud of you, I just…" She slowly looked up at him. "If you don't go to school, then what kind of future is there for us?"

Kai swallowed hard. "I don't know," he admitted. "But...it's not nothing, right?"

"I don't know. I mean, I want to go to school and maybe be a teacher after I graduate, and get a job, and by then I'll be around 23 years old, and then I'll be working and… I can't do that from a ship."

"I'll visit all the time."

"But that won't be the same."

They were both quiet for a while, before Kai asked, "Didn't you want to take a year to come sail with me anyway?"

"Yes, but...I also want to go to university, finish getting my degree as soon as I can. I don't want to waste time in getting my education."

His eyes flickered to her, studying her for a moment as he raised his brows, a frown tugging at his mouth. "So I'm wasting my time?"

"No, you're not, I'm just talking about what I want for myself, and…" Jinora sighed. "And you want to take the captainship again."

"I...I feel more ready to, now. They're all I've known, and I—I think I never really wanted a different type of life for a reason, although I'm beyond grateful for everything your family has done for me, but... Being a pirate suits me. Even a pirate who technically has no charges against him anymore."

"And you're doing a wonderful thing, I just…" Jinora swallowed. "It feels like we just found each other again, and then after we graduate, it'll be more time apart, and…" She took a breath. "I know you'll visit, and I know we'll write to each other, but it's not the same."

"It doesn't have to be the same for it to be good. For us to make it."

"Make it until when?"

"Until either you don't want to be a teacher, or I don't want to be a pirate."

She smiled sadly. "That could be forever."

"It'd still be a forever with you."

Jinora's bottom lip trembled. "Kai…"

"I know this won't be easy, but… I also know that I won't ever want anyone else. I don't know how long we'll have to wait before we're together-together again, but I'm willing to wait as long as it takes for you. For us." He brushed her hair out of her face. "I never want to hold you back from anything, so how about…" he licked his lips. "How about we don't use labels? If you want to date someone else while you're away at school, or whatever, then that's fine. We'll experience everything life has to offer, and if one day we get to live our lives together then… then it'll be beautiful."

Jinora blinked back tears. "I won't want to date someone else," she said quietly. Kai let out a cheerless laugh.

"Neither will I."

"But I don't want to hold you back from anything, either. I…" A lump formed in her throat. "After we graduate, once I'm off at university, and you're back with the crew, we can...we can stop using labels, and just be. Even if we just keep waiting for each other in the meantime," she added, almost smiling.

"And whenever we are together," Kai continued, "we'll go on dates, and do whatever we want. The Waterbender can take you to and from school during your summer, winter, and spring breaks. You'd be travelling alone by carriage or ferry otherwise. You might as well travel with us."

Jinora managed a genuine smile this time. "So it won't be terribly long before we get to spend time together, in our new lives," she said.

"Exactly. We can make this work. No matter where our lives take us." He leaned up and kissed her forehead. "I promise."

Jinora leaned into him. "I love you," she murmured.

"I love you too. Always."

###

The passage of time grew more apparent after Spring break ended. Jinora received a scholarship to Ba Sing Se and Kai more letters from the crew, primarily Yung and Otaku to get him up to speed on their routes and financial planning. She went to the fencing club without him—he hadn't had time in his schedule this year for it—but Kai came to the few competitions she competed in, taking her out for ice cream after she won (two silver, one gold). Their study dates grew to be less about dating and more about studying as exams approached, and Jinora could see they weren't the only stressed couple. Pfannee and her boyfriend Zhang Chu had split up, although Shen Shen had handled most of the consoling for a very tearful Pfannee.

"At least this means we'll be done with school soon," Kai said during another study session, trying to keep their spirits up, and Jinora had instead burst into tears. "Jinora?"

"Does—doesn't it _bother_ you?" she cried, wiping at her face and glad they were in their room instead of the library. "That'll we be apart next year?"

"Of course it does—"

"Then why does it feel like it doesn't? You're so calm, and—you don't seem upset at _all_ , and—"

He blinked, rubbing her upper arms. "You want me to be upset?"

"No—well, yes, not about—about us, I mean, it'd be—it'd be nice if I didn't feel like I was the only one who's scared and sad about being split up next year—"

Kai let her use his sleeves to wipe her eyes, his gaze patient, and surprisingly understanding. "Jin… You've lived on an island, or here, your whole life. You've never had a home that's travelled with you, instead of to travel back to. I've never had that permanent home, before, but… I think I do now. Because it's you." He kissed her forehead, taking her into his arms. "Now don't get mad at me—"

"I'm not gonna get mad at you," she mumbled, sniffling, "when you just said something as sappy and heartfelt as that—"

"And I meant it, but… do you think maybe you're maybe you're scared because you're scared I'm gonna leave like last time? That I'll stop writing again, and won't come back?"

Jinora frowned, and sniffled again. "Maybe," she admitted. "I just—I don't want to lose you again."

"You won't," he said gently. "And I'm so sorry I gave you any reason to doubt, but I swear, you won't. I'm not disappearing on you this time."

"You know I trust you," Jinora said softly, "I just...we've spent so much time apart, I can't help but…"

"I know. I'm sorry." He hugged her tightly.

"And anything could happen to you out there…"

"Hey." He cupped her chin, gently lifting her head to look up at him. "I'm stronger than I look, remember? I'll be fine. And we won't keep you out of the loop again, I promise. I promise. This time last year I couldn't stand to be with myself, let alone someone I loved this much, someone I thought deserved so much better than me. And I'm not going to lie and say I never slip, and never go back to that place, but… I swear to you on my life, I will never leave you again. Not permanently, and never without any letters."

Tears formed in Jinora's eyes again, and she buried her face in his chest, holding him tightly. "Thank you," she whispered.

"Besides," he said with a slight smile, "I'll be the one taking you to university, remember? And taking you back home for holidays? And I'll visit so often you'll get sick of me."

Jinora managed a laugh. "You know that's not possible."

"I'll give it my best shot, anyway."

She smiled, leaning up to kiss him. "I think that's a goal we can both live with."

Kai rested his forehead against hers, cupping the side of her face. "Wanna take a study break? It's been awhile since we visited that one ice cream parlour, we could do that."

"Okay. I'd like that. Thank you."

"And next time, try to talk to me before you burst into tears?"

She let out a soft snort. "I'll try."

"Good. Even if you start crying in the middle of trying to talk to me." He wiped a stray tear from her cheek. "As long as you don't bottle up your emotions. I know how bad that can be."

"I know. I'll try," she repeated. "I'm going to go pull on another sweater, okay?"

He smiled, pecking her on the lips. "Okay."

###

Jinora hadn't expected to come back to school after spring break to find Pfannee sobbing in her and Miki's room. She rushed towards her, carefully opening up her arms, and Pfannee collapsed into them, holding onto Jinora tightly.

She looked desperately at Miki. "What's wrong?"

Miki looked sorrowfully at Pfannee, laying a gentle hand on her back. "You'll have to tell her yourself," she said softly, and Pfannee looked up at Jinora, her eyes red and puffy.

"I'm pregnant."

Jinora's eyes widened. "What—who—is Zhang Chu the father?"

Pfannee nodded, her bottom lip trembling.

"Does he know?"

She shook her head. "I just found out, I—what am I gonna do? My family will be furious—"

Jinora kneeled down to Pfannee's eye level, gently holding her forearms. "We'll...we'll figure something out, okay? We're all here for you."

Pfannee sniffled quietly. "I...I can't tell Zhang, he's already got a new girlfriend so he can't—" Fresh tears spilled onto her cheeks. "I thought we were gonna stay together, that's why I…"

"Oh, Fanny."

Miki got her the tissue box from the bathroom, her voice steady. "Look, Fanny, just try and get some sleep, and we can talk about some of your options tomorrow, okay? Because you have them. You have options. And you have us, okay?"

Pfannee nodded, sniffling quietly as she took a tissue and dabbed at her eyes."Do you know where Shen Shen is?" she asked. "She was here earlier, she knows, but she went off to do something—I don't know what—"

"I'll go get her," said Jinora. "And… do you want me to get Kai, too? Or do you want it to just be us girls for now?"

"Just us," Pfannee said, "but you can tell him."

"Okay. We'll stay here with you as long as you want."

"O-okay. Thank you."

Miki wrapped an arm around her, and Jinora went to go find Shen Shen. She found her in her room, furiously writing something as she muttered, "I'll kill him. I'll fucking kill him."

"Shen?"

She glanced up, looking uncharacteristically frazzled. "Jinora?"

"I assume you heard what happened?"

Shen Shen's jaw clenched. "That asshole—he's never going to take her back and he won't take any of the responsibility and we _know_ her parents—"

"Shen Shen, what are you doing?"

"Scheduling a bank withdrawal. Her family's shit and they're going to disown her, I know it."

Jinora slowly drew closer, placing her hands on Shen Shen's shoulders. "I know you're upset, but she needs you right now, okay? You can finish your… bank withdrawal later. Whose account are you requesting, anyway?"

"My own," she said, as if it was obvious. "Right now I can only withdraw enough to last her two years, maybe three if she's very frugal, but once I'm of age the account will be completely mine, and—" She looked Jinora square in the face, her dark eyes steely under soft, long eyelashes. "I'm not letting her be thrown to the wolves."

Jinora almost smiled. "You can finish the form and send it in tomorrow. She just needs us to be there, okay?"

Shen Shen sighed. "Alright. How's she doing?"

"Still upset. And she might not even need your money. Who knows if she'll keep the baby or not?"

"Well no matter what she chooses, we have to be ready to support her."

"You're right. And right now we can do that by just...staying with her. I don't think she wants to be alone right now."

"I know." Shen Shen got up, leaving the unfinished form on her desk. "Come on. Let's go take care of our girl."

###

"He _what_?!"

"He got her pregnant, broke up with her, got a new girlfriend within a week, and it's probably better if he doesn't find out for a while," Jinora repeated, as her boyfriend paced the length of their room.

"But he—I don't care if he didn't mean to do it, he should be there at least for the kid—"

"You really think the likes of Zhang Chu would stop thinking about himself long enough to actually support Pfannee and their child?"

"No, and that's what pisses me off." Kai sat down on their bed, shaking his head in disbelief. "You guys won't even try telling him?"

"That's Pfannee's choice, and she thinks that… If anything, it would cause him to reject her more, and he might actually tell people before she's ready to reveal it to anyone, if she does. She hasn't decided what she's going to do with the baby. If she's going to have an abortion, or keep it, if she'll raise it or give it up…"

Kai went silent for a moment. "You'll ask her to consider finding a family instead of an orphanage, if she does give it up?" he asked quietly.

"We've already had her consider it as an option. She knows we're all here for her, whether she wants to keep it, or give it up, or terminate the pregnancy."

"Poor Pfannee." He almost smiled. "She always intimidated me the least, out of the three of them. She's always been sweet."

"Sweet, and maybe too trusting. But she shouldn't have to pay for it, especially not like this."

"If you guys need anything, she knows she can come over to our room, right?"

"I already let her know. She'll take us up on the offer when she ready, but right now, I think she just wants the girls with her. We were all a group even before I pulled Lee into the fold."

"I understand. I won't say a word to anyone, I swear."

"I know." Jinora narrowed her eyes slightly. "Kai, I want you to promise me you won't go after Zhang Chu."

He sighed. "I promise. I just—what kind of person wouldn't want to be there for the mother of their child—"

"Kai."

"Fine, fine. I promise. I won't beat him up." His eyes grew stormy.

"Or do anything else to him," Jinora said sternly.

"Gyatso," he said, almost snapping, "I just said I'm not going to do anything—"

She placed a hand on her hip. "Then why do you have that look in your eyes?"

Kai huffed, rolling his eyes. "Because my mother—" he clamped his mouth shut, angry eyes going from her face to the floor. "Whatever."

Jinora softened slightly. "Kai…"

He stood up from their bed, and grabbed one of his textbooks. "I'm going to go study in the library."

"Kai, wait." She grabbed his arm. "We said we wouldn't bottle things up, remember?"

"You have to go to Pfannee anyway—"

"She's with the other girls, it's not like I have to leave you alone for the rest of the night." She gently tugged him closer. "Please. Talk to me."

Kai wouldn't look at her, but he let her tug him back down onto the bed. "I don't want to talk about my mother, Jinora," he said thickly.

"And I don't want to leave when there's something bothering you." She sighed quietly. "I won't force you to talk about her, I just…" She looked at him, searching his face. "Pfannee reminds you of her?"

"I don't know. I never knew her."

Jinora brushed a tuft of his hair off his forehead. "Then what do you think it is?"

Kai was silent for a long moment, and then burst, "I don't know how I was conceived."

Jinora blinked. "Well," she said slowly, "wouldn't it—Kai, we've done it, don't you—"

"I know how," Kai said, eyes flashing, but it quickly faded and he looked even duller than before. "I just… I don't know if it was consensual."

"Oh." She slowly reached for his hand. "Kai..."

"I know she was a slave, and I know—I think—that she escaped, and…" he took a deep breath. "And she had my sister."

"A sister?"

"I remember her a little. Not her face, but I know we didn't look that much alike, I looked like my mom. I don't think she looked like my father either. She was older, maybe by six or eight years? She used to sit me on her lap when we had to hide in the closet. When father came home, he was always so angry."

"Oh, Kai…"

"And…" His voice hitched. "And I know my mother must've loved me, because…" He took a shuddering breath. "I really don't want to talk about this, Jinora."

She squeezed his hand. "It's okay," she said softly. "You're okay. Does—does Yung know about this? Dr. Aput?"

He shook his head. "They suspect, I think. I've told them bits and pieces."

"I think you should tell them everything."

"I can't."

"Why not?" she said gently. "Dr. Aput is here to help you, and you and I both know there's nothing you could ever do or say, or anything that could ever happen to you that would make Yung stop loving you."

"I know, but I…" His voice trembled. "I don't want to remember, Jinora."

"Remember what?"

"You shouldn't be here, you have to be with Pfannee—"

"Not till I know you're okay. She has Miki and Shen Shen, none of them would want me to leave you alone like this."

"I'm fine—"

"What did we say about bottling emotions? You're not fine, and that's okay, just...please, tell me what I can do to help."

"Jinora…" He squeezed her hand. "I really want to be alone right now. I promise I won't hurt myself, I just—I don't want to cry in front of you, right now."

Jinora frowned slightly, but she nodded. "Okay. I'll come by in the morning."

"You don't have to."

"I want to." She brought his hand up to her lips, pressing a kiss to the back of it. "You don't have to tell me everything. Just tell someone who cares about you, who wants to help you. When you're ready."

"I'll try." His knee was shaking as she stood up, and he grabbed her wrist, tears spilling over his cheeks. "Jin? I was wrong—don't—don't leave."

She immediately sat back down next to him, drawing close. "Okay. I won't. I'm here." She pulled him into her arms, holding him tightly. "I'm here."

The sobs came out in a flood, wracking his body as Jinora held him and let him cry. She pressed soft kisses to his crown as he buried his face in her shoulder, shaking as he held her tight.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too," he croaked, his tears quieting. "I-I'm sorry, I—"

"Shh. You have nothing to apologize for."

"I didn't mean to snap at you—"

"I know. You're okay. We're okay. I've got you." She kissed the top of his head. "I've got you."

He slowly drew away, and she helped him wipe at his eyes as he murmured, "Thank you."

"I'm always here for you. You know that, right?"

"I know." He rubbed at his eyes. "I think… I think I just wanna sleep for a bit."

"Makes sense," she said softly, "after a cry like that. You sure you don't want to talk about it?"

Kai shook his head. "Not yet."

"That's okay. I...I need to go check on Pfannee, but I can come back, and stay with you, if you want."

"It's okay. Go be with your friends. I'll be fine here, and I'll see you in the morning."

She smiled softly. "If you're sure. I'll see you in the morning." She kissed him gently, and grabbed a few of her textbooks and a pair of pajamas before heading out the door.

At the very least, when she closed the door behind her, she left with the faith that Kai would be alright.

###

Jinora had a hard time getting out of the extra bed in Pfannee's room, still tired after emotional conversations with both Kai and Pfannee. Pfannee in particular had been up for most of the night, as they all tried to console her. They had read books, baked cookies, listened to the radio, anything and everything that Pfannee enjoyed.

As they'd expected, it wasn't enough to cheer her up, but she had gone to bed late that night knowing she wasn't alone. That was all that had mattered.

Jinora left a note on Pfannee's desk to let the girls know where she was if they needed her again, before slipping out of the room and making her way back up her room, almost falling asleep in the elevator. When it opened on her floor, she was surprised to find Kai waiting there, holding a cup of tea.

"Hey. I was just about to go to you."

"Oh." Jinora stepped out of the elevator. "Are you feeling okay?"

Kai gave her a small, but genuine smile. "Yeah. Just wanted to bring you some tea." He placed the warm mug in her hands. "And, uh...to thank you, for last night. I...I haven't talked about some of that stuff before with you, and I know it's pretty heavy, and…" He rubbed the back of his neck. "I...sometimes it's overwhelming, to know that there are people that will love me no matter what, and that you're one of those people, and just...thank you."

Jinora smiled softly, hugging Kai with her free arm. "Thank you."

"Now, that you're here, I can go put your tea back, and then come back and carry you over? You look exhausted."

Jinora let out a soft chuckle. "It's fine, I'm just tired, I—" Her smile grew at Kai's insistent look. "Alright. I'll wait here?"

He nodded, before pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Be right back." He returned a couple minutes later, and scooped her into his arms. She giggled, burying her face in the crook of his neck.

"I love you," she murmured. Kai pressed his smile to her hairline.

"I love you too, Jin."

###

Pfannee reached a decision about the baby two days later. "I'm going to keep it," she said firmly, standing while the rest of them were gathered around her room, sitting on her bed, the floor, or her desk chair. "And… I'm going to raise it."

Miki blinked. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. I...I want to keep it. I want to raise it."

"Your parents…"

Pfannee took a breath. "They're going to disown me anyway."

"You don't know that—"

"Yes I do. And I know that Zhang doesn't love me, but it doesn't matter. I can do this without him, and I will."

They were all quiet for a moment, before Jinora asked, "When are you telling your parents?"

"After we graduate."

"Then start packing things you'll want with you, when you're out of the house. You can leave it with one of us, and you know my family will be willing to have you over, as long as you need."

"Actually," Shen Shen said, "I already found an apartment, in one of the smaller districts. They have work there, and it's not too hard, and the apartment should be big enough to raise your baby. And you have us, whenever you need help."

Pfannee blinked. "You already looked for apartments for me?"

"We both know your parents, Fanny. I'm not letting them throw you out into the streets."

Tears formed in Pfannee's eyes again, and she threw her arms around Shen Shen, hugging her tightly, before pulling the other girls into the hug. "I don't know what I would do without all of you," she cried.

"You'd be just fine," said Miki. "You're stronger than you look."

"But it'd be a lot lonelier."

"We're happy to help," Jinora said softly. "We love you a lot, you know that?"

"I know." Pfannee pulled away slowly, wiping her cheeks. "I guess I'll have to start working as soon as I can after we graduate, and...I don't know how much I'll have to pay straight away for the house—"

"Don't worry about that, I...already made a withdrawal," said Shen Shen.

More tears pooled in Pfannee's eyes. "Shen…"

"And you're taking it, it's not a request," Shen Shen added, trying to sound firm. "It should be enough to last you and your baby for the first two years, but if you still need anything—" She grunted as Pfannee pulled her into a tight hug again, a rare soft smile appearing on her face as she hugged her back.

"Kai knows?" Pfannee sniffled, pulling away.

Jinora nodded. "He'll support you too, however you want."

"Do you think he'd know, of any jobs I could get?"

"I can ask," Jinora promised. "I'm sure there's plenty of options."

Pfannee tucked her hair behind her ears, curling a finger around her tresses. "I've never worked before," she admitted meekly. "But...I really want this baby, and I want to take care of it."

"You'll be able to do it. You're a month and a half along, right?" Jinora asked, and Pfannee nodded. "You have enough time to graduate and do a little work before you have to go on maternity leave."

"You'll be okay," said Miki.

Pfannee smiled. "I know."


	16. Graduation

some more m-rated content bc they're horny teenagers in love; however, as always, is not the focus. you have been warned

* * *

SIXTEEN: Graduation

Kai woke up to a mostly-bare room, with all of their things packed up into suitcases, a laundry hamper out for any of their extra clothes and their sheets, and two graduation robes hanging against the door. Their caps were set neatly on the dresser, along with their final report cards. They'd gotten them a few nights before, and had celebrated the both of them aceing their final classes and exams with champagne and ice cream.

It was still surreal, to think that he was graduating, even as it slowly dawned on him that the ceremony was that afternoon. He would be walking down the stage in those beautiful navy blue robes, accepting an actual diploma of secondary school completion. He had all the necessary education to go out into the world, and more than what he needed to fully take charge of the captainship. He'd finished high school.

Jinora roused beside him, and he glanced at her, smiling when she looked up at him with an adorable bed head, her brown hair scattered about her face. "Hey."

Kai tucked a loose curl behind her ear, as she smiled sleepily at him. "Hey," he echoed. And then he realized this was the last time they'd wake up next to each other in this room. "I'm gonna miss this," he said quietly. Her smile widened, and she crinkled her nose gently. It was only when they were this close that he could see the faint freckles dusting the bridge of her nose.

"You'll miss all the essays and homework?"

"No, silly," he said, grinning when she giggled. "There are a lot of memories in this room. In this school."

"I know. Our first kiss." She rested a hand on his chest. "Our first time."

"Lots and lots of homework."

Jinora let out another giggle. "You just said you wouldn't miss that part."

"Well, I guess I'll miss it a little. I almost always did my homework with you, remember?"

Her smile softened. "Yeah. You sap."

"But I'm yours." He lifted his brows.

Her smile flickered. "For the rest of today, maybe."

Kai hooked his fingers underneath her chin, lifting her head. "Hey. Always, remember? You and me."

"I know," she said, turning to kiss his palm when he cupped her cheek with it. "But it won't be the same."

"It won't be," he agreed, "but who knows? Maybe it'll be better. I mean, it can't be that bad, if I have you."

The corners of her eyes crinkled. "Yeah." She pressed a soft kiss to his mouth, allowing him to deepen it as he cupped the back of her head, drawing her closer. She smiled against his lips. "Want to make one more memory?"

"You sure, Gyatso?" he teased. "There's already so many…"

"Humour me, Captain?" she grinned, a glint in her eyes he recognized all too well, as she smiled into their second kiss of the morning, laughing when he flipped them so he was on top.

His gaze softened as he looked at her, and she rested her hands on his upper arms. "I love you, Jinora Gyatso."

Jinora smiled softly. "I love you too, Kai Tashi."

He leaned down and kissed her, before running his hands down her waist, and they didn't do much talking after that.

###

Jinora fiddled with her notecards all during the introduction from the teachers and staff, her nerves jittery even as Kai laid a hand over hers. She turned to him, unable to help from smiling—he really did look handsome in his graduation robes.

"Jin, you'll be fine. I've heard you practice this speech a million times."

"That was in front of you, not in front of all the staff and students and parents."

"Then just pretend we're in our room, and you're talking to me." He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "Because I know you'll be amazing up there. Seriously, I've heard that speech almost every day since after Spring Break, and I'm still inspired by it."

Jinora managed a small laugh. "I've just...never been great, around crowds, and…" She swallowed. "This is going to be the last thing I do as a student here."

"Well who knows? Maybe one day you'll come back here as a teacher."

"Isn't it a little too far away from the sea for you?"

He squeezed her hand again. "You don't have to make choices based on me. Not holding each other back, remember?"

"I know, but… The people I love do influence my choices a little bit, you know."

He smiled softly. "I dunno, Jin. I think I'd manage. I've spent this much time on land, haven't I?"

"You'd stay for me?"

"I'd have to take a few years to make sure the crew's okay, but…" His smile grew. "I guess the people I love influence my choices, too."

Jinora's heart swelled, but she was called to the stage before she could reply. She pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Wish me luck."

"You won't need it, but good luck anyways," Kai said, giving her hand one more squeeze before letting go. Jinora took a deep breath, then walked up to the stage, standing behind the podium.

Her eyes scanned the crowd for a moment, as she took in the hundreds of students, parents, and teachers watching her, before she closed her eyes. When she opened them, she focused only on Kai, beaming as he watched on with love and pride. Her gaze did shift as she spoke, to her parents, who were sitting beside Yung, all three of them crying, Yung most of all. Her heart felt full, as she spoke, the words floating off her tongue.

"And finally," she concluded, her hands trembling and her smile growing, "I think we all owe ourselves a big congratulations, because hey, we graduated!" Everyone cheered, and the graduates let out a big whoop as Jinora made her way back down to the rest of them, rushing into Kai's arms.

He picked her up and spun her around, kissing her sloppily because both of them were grinning so hard, before he set her back down and they both went to their families. Lee was there too, along with Pabu with a camera, who was rapidly snapping pictures for everyone who was back on the ship. She hugged her parents tightly, smiling when she saw a tearful Yung hugging Kai as well, Kai resting his head on his shoulder as best he could, though he was now much taller.

"I'm so proud of you, sweetheart," Tenzin said, the wrinkles in his eyes more pronounced as he smiled.

"We both are," said Pema, sweeping her daughter into another hug.

The ride from St. Bosco's to Republic City—for the last time, Jinora thought, with crushing finality—slipped through her fingers like sand the harder she tried to hold onto the time, onto the memories, of her parents and Kai and Yung all in one carriage, her siblings and poor Pabu in another, talking and laughing and making plans she hoped would come to fruition.

It felt like all too soon they were arriving at the manor, and then Kai was sneaking into her room for one last night together, and the morning of his and the crew's departure arrived all too quickly. She held onto him tightly that morning in bed, when he pressed a kiss to her forehead. Sunlight was streaming in through her window, shining on his tousled bed head and her sheets drawn up around their bare hips, limbs tangled close together.

"It's not goodbye forever, you know that."

"I know. I just…"

"I'm going to miss you too," he said, kissing her lips, and she melted into him. "I'll write you every week. Long sappy love letters. I promise."

She almost smiled. "You better. Because I plan on writing you sappy love letters right back. And you know how long-winded I can get."

He chuckled softly. "Like I could ever get tired of hearing your voice."

Jinora gave into the urge to smile, before pressing it to his mouth, her grin only growing when he returned it with one of his own, their kiss brief before he was nuzzling into her cheek. "I love you," she sighed.

"I love you too," he said softly. "And that's why I could never stay away from you for long. Even at my worst, I was drawn right back to you. Now, I'm just smart enough to give in." He rested his forehead against hers. "So can we get down to breakfast, so I can give your family less reason to suspect us?"

She stroked her fingers over his jaw, laughing, before kissing him one last time. "Alright," she said, slipping out of his arms and out of bed, and going to pull on some clothes. He got up and pulled out some fresh clothes from the drawer she'd designated for him long ago, watching as she pulled on a soft yellow dress. He did up the buttons in the back for her, kissing the nape of her neck, before doing up the clasp of the necklace he'd given her for the Spirit Festival over three years ago.

"Can you believe it's been that long?" he whispered, knowing the same thing was on her mind when she rested her fingers over the pearl pendant. She smiled softly, looking up at him with shining eyes.

"It seems crazy I've only known you for three years," she said. "I—we've grown so much."

"We have," he said, stepping closer. "Remember when you were my height?" he added with a grin, laughing when she shoved him playfully.

"I still remember when you had to wear bandages." Her hand sought out the familiar scar, underneath his shirt, that stretched over his right shoulder. "You did more than save my life," she murmured. "You changed it, and made it better." Her bottom lip trembled even as she smiled. "You made me excited to live it."

"I never thought I'd live this long," Kai said quietly, "let alone be glad to have made it this far. But you… have given me so many second chances, in every way, and I am so grateful. You make my life better, too. You make me better. And I'll always love you. Always." He pressed his forehead to hers, his nose pressing into the curve of her cheek. "I'll always come back to you."

Jinora threw her arms around his neck and kissed him hard, running her fingers through his hair as he wrapped his arms snug around her waist, and he slowly, reluctantly pulled away.

"We really should go," he said quietly.

"I know." She stepped away, but kept one of her hands in his. "Let's go."

###

Adjusting to a life without Jinora was even harder than Kai had expected. He missed her, her eyes and laughter, and the way she would curl up in his arms while he fell asleep. He missed her family, and Lee, and the girls (Pfannee was all moved into her apartment now) and he even missed being on dry land, to a certain extent. Even if he was now more confident than ever as captain, a part of him couldn't help but miss his home on land.

How was it that less than two years ago, he didn't feel as though he belonged in either home, when now he was desperate to live in both?

"Captain?" Otaku called, knocking on his door.

"Come in," Kai said, looking up from the maps on his desk. Otaku came in with a few envelopes in his hand, and held them out to him.

"Letters for you," he said, and Kai's eyes lit up as he took them.

"Thanks, Otaku." The navigator was leaving when he said, "Hey, can I ask you something?"

Otaku pushed his glasses further up his nose. "Ask away, Captain."

"You and your girl, Jaya… how did you guys make things work?"

He smiled a bit shyly. "We write to each other a lot. Visit when we can. It's hard, but...we just try to be happy with the time we do have together, and know that someday, when we're ready, we'll create a life closer together. It's never too late."

Kai ran a hand through his hair. "I just… I don't want to make her wait too long."

"What helps for us, is talking often about what would count as 'too long'. Right now, Jaya and I are alright being apart, focusing more on our jobs, pooling enough so that we could live comfortably when we do want to start focusing more on each other, and a family. We've promised to each other that when it feels like too long, we'll let the other know, so we know when to start making that distance a little shorter."

"Has that happened for you yet?" Kai asked.

"Not yet. Jaya's made a place for herself as a lawyer, and I still enjoy being part of this crew. But we know that we can let each other know, when we feel like it's time. So when we settle down, we'll be ready."

Kai nodded slowly. "And...what if you want both? To settle down, and to still have your careers?"

"Sometimes you have to choose which one you want more," Otaku said. "I know I won't be a pirate—I guess sailor now—forever, and that's okay. It'll be easier for Jaya to stay in one place and still be a lawyer, and I'm happy to let her have that, if she still wants it." He smiled a little. "Sometimes you have to sacrifice some things, for love, but I know it'll be worth it. After all, I'll still have all of you in my life, even after I settle down."

Kai managed to return the smile. "Yeah, you will. We'll make sure to visit you."

"I know, Captain. But you're both young. I know that makes being in love harder and easier, but you and Miss Gyatso will figure things out. I know you will."

"Thanks, Otaku." Kai glanced down at the letters in his hand. "You can go, now."

Otaku shut the door gently behind him as he left, and Kai first opened one of the letters from Jinora, running his thumb over the black cursive J in her name on the return address. He opened the letter, eyes lingering on the way she wrote his name, before moving onto the actual content. He had gotten good at hearing her voice in his head whenever he read her writing, and he wondered if she could do the same with his, after almost eight weeks of nothing but letters.

 _My dearest, Kai,_

 _I've just gotten the schedule for my first semester of university, including the list of textbooks I should acquire before then. I know it's early, but I do prefer it this way, so I'll have plenty of time to get ready before I go to Ba Sing Se. (Besides, since we'll be spending the two weeks before classes start together, I won't want to think about what I'll need to bring so close into the semester when I'm with you.)_

 _How has the sailing been? There's been a few storms recently but hopefully they haven't reached where you are (and luckily, they haven't gotten in the way of our letters). And how's the rest of the crew? Yung seemed glad to be back at sea, after everything. We both know he loves you more than the sea, however, and was glad to be with you wherever you were._

 _Take care of yourself, and give the crew my love. I miss you so much._

 _Love,_

 _Jinora_

Kai smiled softly, pressing the letter over his heart, before placing it carefully on his desk. She would be the first person he would reply to—she always was—but there were still three more letters to open, the next one being from Lee. Maybe he would reply after reading Lee's letter, give it to Otaku to send, and then read the final two.

He opened up the envelope from Lee, his straight, thin writing a stark contrast from Jinora's beautiful, flowery cursive. It was still neat, and pleasant to look at and to read, as he completely unfolded the page.

 _Dear Kai,_

 _It only just occurred to me, but you're probably the first of our group actually starting a career. Congratulations. (I know most of us go to university or finishing school, but it's still impressive.)_

 _I was able to check on Pfannee before my family's summer vacation, and she seems to be adjusting well. She's a surprisingly hard worker, for someone whose parents never expected much from her. Then again, the Wens aren't known for their perfect judgment. And yes, there is a baby bump—small, but there. She's really excited. She was planning on writing you again soon, so you'll probably hear all about that._

 _I would ask how the crew is, but I really only know you and Yung. How is Yung, though? I heard he was living with the Gyatsos while you were finishing high school, it must be nice to be back aboard a ship. I'm sure you missed it._

 _Come back soon, I still want to spend time with you in person before university starts up for all of us again. Besides, everyone can see in her face that Jinora misses you. But she's proud. We all are. Even if it won't be as interesting to say that I have a sailor friend as opposed to a pirate captain friend. But I guess I won't have to stop, even though all your crew's charges are basically cleared—once a pirate, always a pirate, right?_

 _Stay safe, and don't overwork yourself._

 _Your Friend,_

 _Lee_

Kai almost laughed when he got to the end of the letter and realized that Lee had managed to cram in that much in the same amount of page space it had taken Jinora to get her shorter letter in. His handwriting had always been almost comically small.

He glanced at the other two letters—one from Shen Shen and one from Pfannee—but set them aside for later, as he took out a blank piece of stationery and a pen, keeping Jinora's most recent letter open. After all, he had to beat her to the reply before she sent another letter, at the latest within a couple days.

 _My dearest, Jinora…_

###

Summer parties had always been Jinora's least favourite.

They were usually too hot and stuffy, and there were no holidays to give them any extra excitement, and, worst of all, the Chows always managed to make it to every summer party. At least during the New Year's ball, there were far more people. But that was another stipulation regarding summer parties—they were usually smaller, given many families were usually on their own vacations. This party would mostly be made up of her own family, the Wens (who she was no longer speaking to, after they had thrown out Pfannee, not to mention Cyntha of all people), the Sesis (made up of Shen Shen and her two older brothers), the Sonos, the Chows, and a couple of the BeiFong kids who lived in Republic City instead of ZaoFu like the rest of their family. Huan, and a pair of twins she couldn't tell apart named Wing and Wei, but at least she knew they were on their side—their little sister Opal had run off to be a pirate a couple of summers ago, under Captain Korra of the _Avatar._

Jinora stayed by Shen Shen's side as soon as she saw her, content to allow her friend to do most of the talking. She fended off Cyntha Wen, which was a relief, anyway. Jinora hadn't wanted to see plenty of these people after graduating, and yet here they were. There really was no escape from high society. Except for maybe the sea…

"Jinora?" Shen Shen said, snapping her out of it. "You've that _I miss Kai_ again look on your face."

"What? Is that even a look?"

"For you? Yes. And, well, you have it basically all the time, but right now, even more than usual."

Jinora sighed. "These things are just...easier to navigate, when he's around."

"Because you both slip away from the party to have your own party in your bedroom?"

Jinora flushed. "Shen!"

"What? It's true. You guys weren't exactly subtle at New Year's. At least, not to me, to everyone else, I'm sure you were."

"The Sonos were going after him, and he was upset, so we went out to the gardens. And New Year's is special for us anyway. It's when we had our first kiss."

Shen Shen smiled slightly. "He'll be back before you know it."

"I wish it was now."

"I know."

Jinora tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "Sorry, I know it's not like me, to be so…"

"Lovesick?" Shen Shen tried, and Jinora flushed.

"Not—well, yes, I guess so. I got a letter from him yesterday and as much as I love hearing from him, it just makes me miss him even more."

"Don't you both write each other every day or something?"

"No. Every three or four days. The messenger hawks can't travel quite that quickly."

"You're both so adorable it's almost gross."

"Shut up," Jinora mumbled. "What about you and your line of suitors?"

"None of them have any staying power," said Shen Shen.

"Not even Charo Zhang?"

"Too prickly when he gets upset." Shen Shen glanced at her perfectly manicured nails. "I'm in no rush to find someone. If it happens, it happens, but we can't all find our true love at the bank."

"He found me."

"Again. Gross."

Jinora wrinkled her nose, and then frowned when LingShi Chow approached them. They didn't have dinner and a table between them to act as a buffer, anymore.

"Shen…"

"You know he'll keep pestering you if you keep avoiding him."

"He pesters me anyway."

"Just...make small talk, and I'll try to find a distraction for him so you can make a break for it."

"Fine." Jinora plastered on a wide smile. "Hello, LingShi," she said, so sickly sweet it reminded her of Cyntha Wen.

"Jinora," he said, his smile too eager to put her at ease. "So good to finally see you. Of course, I had been hoping to see more of you."

Jinora's jaw clenched, and bile rose in her throat. "How is your family?"

"Splendid, now that my uncle's taken the governorship. And yours? They must be relieved your charity case is finally gone, now that your father no longer needs the publicity."

"We're actually hoping to have him over again later in the summer," Jinora said tersely, "since we've all grown very fond of him. We would have kept him longer, but he works so hard."

LingShi snorted. "That pirate, working hard?"

"Well, I'm sure you wouldn't know anything about that," Jinora said sweetly.

LingShi's expression soured. "I certainly know more than your boy toy. He'll end up in the gallows one day, mark my words."

"Is that a threat?" Jinora hissed.

"My uncle is Governor. He can create stricter ship laws, background checks, if he pleases. Think of it as a promise, darling."

LingShi slinked away without another word, leaving Jinora rooted to the spot, fuming, for a few seconds, before she marched after him. He turned back to her, looking smug, when she slapped the look right off his face.

"And if you ever go after anyone I love, I will make you regret it," Jinora snarled. "Think of it as a promise, _darling._ "

"Jinora!" her mother gasped.

Mrs Chow grabbed hold of her son, who had a bright red mark on his cheek, while Mr Chow demanded, "What is the meaning of this?"

"She's crazy!" LingShi spat. "Probably the influence of that pirate bastard—"

"There is no need for that," Pema said firmly. "Jinora, what happened?"

"He said he'd make sure Kai ended up in the gallows," she snapped, glowering at him.

Pema frowned. "Is this true?"

"He's a pirate," LingShi snarled. "That's where they all end up."

"That is...hardly called for," Pema said evenly.

"The boy has a point," said Mr. Chow. "I would think you'd be glad to be rid of him, especially after your husband's political loss—"

"We're not, actually," came another voice, and they all looked up to see Tenzin standing to the side.

"Senator, how—how long have you been there?" asked Mr. Chow, shifting slightly.

"Long enough. Anything else you want to say about Kai, or any of my children?"

Mr. Chow's jaw tightened. "I merely mean—you cannot deny the boy is dangerous, going missing for months, and from what I heard from my son's friends at St. Bosco's, criminally insane as well—"

"He is not insane," Jinora said sharply, "and he is _not_ dangerous."

"I think it would be best," said Tenzin in a clipped tone, "if you were to leave, Mr. and Mrs Chow."

"I see," said Mr. Chow, a deep frown etched into his features. "I would think you would be wiser about your alliances, Senator Gyatso."

"I am."

"Very well, then," said Mr. Chow, grabbing his son's shoulder. "LingShi, come. It is clear our family is no longer welcome here, with their disgrace of a daughter and bastard son-in-law."

The Chows left, their noses in the air, and Jinora slowly looked back at her parents. "That wasn't...good for your career, was it, Father?"

"It wasn't," Tenzin agreed gently, "but they're not good people to associate with."

Jinora smiled slightly. "Thank you, for sticking up for Kai."

"It wasn't nice of you to slap LingShi," Pema said, "but...they were wrong, to say those things. We love you, and we love Kai, and he certainly won't be ending up in the gallows, ever."

She pulled her parents into a tight hug. "Thank you."

Tenzin smiled softly when she pulled away, resting a hand on her shoulder. "Why don't you go spend the rest of the afternoon with your friends?"

"Thanks, Daddy." She quickly pecked both her parents on the cheek, before going back to Shen Shen and Lee. "What do you say we go to the market?"

###

Jinora had been running on excitement ever since she'd gotten a letter from Kai telling her to expect him within the month. Kai had signed off with his love, and Always yours, and she'd held it to her chest for a moment before running to tell her family the good news, too. She never wanted there to be a risk of her family being out of town (which they rarely were, but regardless) just as the Waterbender was sailing in.

So when she woke up that morning and saw that familiar ship moored in the distance, she grabbed her coat and rushed out as quickly as possible. Appa and Lefty were barely finished setting down the ramp when she launched herself across it, and then at her boyfriend, throwing her arms around him. Kai caught her, even if he stumbled just a little, laughing and giving her a little spin. Her smile grew when he kissed her, setting her down gently on her feet.

"It's good to see you, Jin."

"It's good to see you too," she said, unable to stop smiling, as she leaned in to kiss him again. Her stomach fluttered as he cupped her cheek to bring her mouth closer to his, and she melted into him, even as she pulled away, knowing her family would be here soon. "We'll finish catching up later," she murmured.

"Alright," he said, reluctantly letting her go, when Rohan threw himself into Kai's arms. Kai laughed loudly, catching him with a soft grunt. "You're getting bigger!"

"I am?" Rohan asked excitedly.

"How old are you now? Seven?"

"Eight!"

"Eight? You're growing too fast for me to keep up, kid!"

Rohan grinned. "But I can't slow down."

Kai chuckled, ruffling Rohan's hair. "Don't worry, you'll be taller than me someday. Just as tall as your dad, if not taller."

"I'd like that. I'll be closer to the stars, and maybe by that time, you and Jinora will be married."

Kai flushed. "And you can come back from the stars to visit us every so often."

"More than often!" Rohan said. "Mama and Daddy wanted me to bring you both to breakfast."

"Go on kid," said Lefty, hobbling over to help Skoochy bring up a big wooden crate from below decks. "We can handle things without you for the morning."

"Thanks. Tell everyone to feel free to come up if they're still hungry."

"Will do, Cap."

Kai took Jinora's hand as they followed Rohan up the path, through the gardens, that led towards the house, and laced their fingers together. They would have to go for a walk after breakfast, to be alone, and talk, privately, but for now, after two months of not seeing her… holding her hand was more than enough.

###

The gardens were blooming, and Kai's hand was warm in hers as they walked slowly through them, having managed to fend off her siblings and parents to just have Kai to herself, for a little bit now.

"I missed you so much," he said softly, and she looked away from the blossoming panda lilies to look at him, instead. She smiled softly, drawing closer to him.

"I missed you too. On the days I didn't get a new letter, I would just read the most recent one." She sighed softly. "I missed your voice."

"I missed that too," he murmured, cupping one side of her face with his other hand. "I missed sharing a bed with you, even if you were still my last thought before I fell asleep, and my first one when I woke up."

Jinora flushed. "You're even sappier."

"I also missed having you under me," he said, leaning over to whisper it in her ear, and nipping lightly at her earlobe, away from the windows of the mansion. She shivered slightly, leaning into him.

"If we go up to your quarters now, you won't have to miss it anymore."

His hand left hers to grab at her hip, once again out of view from the large windows of the manor. "Before lunch? Someone's eager," he purred. She wrapped her arms loosely around his neck, letting the tip of her nose graze the curve of his cheek.

"It's been two months, and I'm clearly not the only one who's eager," she said, pressing her hips briefly against his, a hard bulge pressing against her thigh.

Kai grunted, and then gave her a smirk. "You're just lucky most of the crew already took the ferry into town, so we don't have to worry about being quiet, Gyatso."

"Well," she played along, tugging at the folds of his shirt collar, "you give the orders, don't you, Captain?"

"Well, I think I have some orders you're gonna like taking."

"What are we waiting for then?" She slipped her hand into his and guided him back down to the ship, walking hand in hand at a reasonable, non suspicious pace.

It was when they were in his room that he grew frantic, pressing her up against the wall as he kissed her desperately, like a drowning man in need of air, and she didn't make him surface for a very, very long time.

Jinora sagged between him and the wall once they were done, leaning into his chest as she unwound her thighs from around his hips, letting them go limp, and content to be held up by him. She pressed a soft kiss to his neck. "Thank you," she murmured. "I missed that."

Kai ran his fingers through her hair, and kissed her crown. "I missed it too," he said. "Want me to carry you to my bed?"

She nodded, smiling as he scooped her up into his arms and carried her over. "It's a good thing I have such a strong boyfriend," she teased. He laid her down on the bed, pulling out of her and laying down beside her. He pressed a kiss to her cheek and she giggled softly.

"I feel stronger when you're around."

She wrinkled her nose at him. "Gods, you're cheesy."

"What? It's true." His eyes softened. "I love you so much."

Her smiled softened, and she curled into him. "I love you too. So, so much." She sighed softly, allowing her eyes to close. "Can we just stay here for a while?"

"I was hoping you'd ask." He wiggled his hips. "Maybe we can get fully undressed, too?"

She grinned, before beginning to undo the buttons of her blouse, when he grabbed her hands.

"Let me?"

Her smile softened, and she nodded, as he shifted so he was leaning over her, slowly undoing each button. She reached for his shirt and tugged it up over his head once he was done unbuttoning her blouse, and she ran her hands over his chest. There were only a couple bruises along his arms, and maybe one new scar, and she rested her finger over it.

"How'd you get these?" she asked, as he undid the last button of her blouse and she helped him take it off. She grabbed his wrists when he reached for her breasts. "No distractions," she said, half teasing, and half serious.

He ran a finger over the curve of her cheek when she let go of his wrists. "The scar's from a little mishap with the Dai Li. The bruises are just from catching a crate the wrong way." He cupped her cheek, stroking his thumb over its curve. "I've been careful, Jin."

"I know." She turned her head, pressing a kiss to his palm. "Thank you."

"And you? I saw some of the papers, and the tabloids were making a fuss over the Chows leaving a party your parents threw?"

She smiled. "I slapped LingShi."

"What? Why?" Kai gave her a small smile, even his eyebrows were still raised. "I mean, I'm proud of you whatever the reason, but?"

"He...he threatened to use his uncle against you. So I threatened him right back."

His smile faded. "Jin, I'm glad you stood up to him, but you don't need to fight my battles for me. I'm not scared of the Chow family."

"I know. But I don't like people threatening you." She buried her face in his neck. "I don't like people threatening anyone I love."

Kai held her close, running his fingers through her hair. "I'm okay, Jin. Nothing and no one can keep me from you."

Jinora sighed softly, wrapping one of her legs around him as he rolled them over onto their sides. "I almost forgot how safe I feel," she murmured, "just being with you."

He grinned gently. "You don't how happy hearing that makes me."

"It's always been true."

"I was so scared you'd be scared of me, after… after the Quil Massacre."

"No. Never."

He kissed her temple, even though his smile was completely gone. "I just… my father had such a terrible temper, and sometimes I'm worried I inherited more of him than I can control."

"You're one of the most gentle people I know. Even when you're angry, even when we fight, I feel safe with you." She pulled away from his neck to look into his face. "Okay?"

"Thank you," he said with soft eyes.

She rested her forehead against his. "Thank you, for loving me the way you do."

"It's pretty easy," he smiled. "You're the most lovable person I've ever met."

Jinora laughed softly, her nose wrinkling as she smiled. "Shut up."

"It's true."

She hummed softly, pressing her smile to his. "So," she laced her fingers through his, resting her head on his chest, thinking of how much she had missed in this in the months they'd been apart. "Tell me everything."

###

When he got the letter from Jinora telling him that Kai was back, Lee made a visit to the Gyatso manor the next day, a smile lifting his features when he saw the Waterbender docked at the shore. Jinora had her arm looped through Kai's, and Lee was pleased to realize there was no unpleasant twinge in his gut at the sight. It had taken months away, and a few dates that hadn't gone anywhere, but he was officially over Jinora Gyatso.

It felt good to be free, especially when she and Kai looked so happy.

He hugged both of them, a different kind of twinge in his gut twisting when Kai hugged him, but he brushed it off—after all, it was easy to be a little bit envious of two of your friends when they had found such a deep love so early on in their lives.

"I'll go tell my family you're here for tea," said Jinora with a smile, not leaving any room for Lee to decline, not that he would have. He missed the rest of the Gyatsos too, and he and Kai watched Jinora leave as she walked up to the mansion, Kai letting out a little sigh, before he grinned at Lee.

"About time you got here Sono," he said ruefully. "I missed you."

His cheeks grew warm, and he chalked it up to the sunny weather. "I missed you too. It's been hard to spend time with you guys, and you're especially elusive."

Kai snorted, gently nudging Lee in the shoulder. "I'm not that elusive. I live on a ship, you know, that sails. How's ZaoFu University?"

"Intense," Lee said, "but good. I have a few friends, but they're not you and the girls."

"Is it hard, making friends in university?"

"Kind of. I mean, I knew Jinora when I was really young, and met Pfannee, Miki, and Shen Shen in primary school. It was even easy with you, since Jinora sort of pulled you into the fold. At ZaoFu, it's...different. Everyone's trying harder to prove they're adults now, I guess."

"It's competitive?"

"For law, yes."

"And in the love department?" Kai nudged him in the ribs. "Gyatso said you've been on a couple of dates."

Lee let out a nervous laugh. "They were fun, but nothing lasting. I know I'm not in love with Jinora anymore, though. I mean, I love her, but not the way I used to."

Kai gave him a wide grin. "Good. I'm happy for you, buddy."

Lee returned his grin with his own smile, his cheeks growing warmer, and a familiar fluttering went off in his stomach. "Thanks. Me too."

"Kai? Lee?" Jinora's voice floated through the garden. "Tea's ready!"

"Coming!" Kai called, tucking his hands in his pockets, and turning to grin back at Lee, and he put the pieces together.

Lee's butterfly filled stomach plummeted. _Oh no._

Lee had to keep his eyes on his teacup almost the entire time he and the Gyatsos had tea, letting his attention drift to Jinora's siblings or her parents, if only to keep from watching the happy couple next to him.

He'd just gotten over Jinora. Now he had to fall for Kai, too? He hadn't even known he _liked_ boys! But apparently he did like them, or at least Kai, a lot. He wasn't even sure how it had started, how he had only just noticed how brilliant his smile was, the gleam in his deep green eyes, that slight dimple in his left cheek—

Lee looked away, forcing himself to focus on whatever Meelo was talking about. He'd only ever felt this around Jinora, and that had been far more familiar. He'd grown up with her, had time to become enamored with every little thing about her. But Kai? The person his ex had chosen, arguably over him? When the hell had this happened?

"Lee?" Jinora said, in between her brother's blabbing. "Are you alright?"

"Hmm?" He stiffened, feeling like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. What would Jinora think if she knew he had fallen for her boyfriend? "Yeah, I'm...just a little tired, from traveling."

"We can all go down to the garden and rest, if you want."

"It's alright. Thanks."

Jinora still looked concerned, but nodded. "Let us know, okay?"

"Okay." Lee sipped his tea in silence, trying to avoid looking at Kai. He'd figure this out later, on his own. When Kai wasn't there, smiling in a way that made his insides warm and mushy.

Maybe the next time he saw him, that feeling wouldn't be there at all.

###

They had an entire blissful week together before the crew left for another three weeks, and quickly returned two weeks before Jinora officially started classes at Ba Sing Se University. The crew helped Jinora load her things onto the Waterbender, for everything she'd need once she as at Ba Sing Se. She hugged her family goodbye before leaving, waving at them as she stood at the railing till they were just small dots on the island. It wasn't strange to be leaving them—she did that all the time—but it was strange to think of how far away she was going. She had never been to Ba Sing Se before.

"You okay?" came Kai's voice from beside her, as he laced their fingers together and gave her hand a squeeze.

She smiled as she turned to face him. "I'm fine. Just...a little nervous, I guess. Mostly excited, but...nervous."

"You're gonna be amazing there. You're probably already just as smart as some of the professors."

Jinora laughed, flushing a little. "Shush, no I'm not."

"You will be, if you aren't already," he said. "You're going to do amazing things, Jin. Even if it takes longer than you hope."

Her smile softened. "Even after all this time, it's still...strange, having someone believe in me so much. A good kind of strange."

"All of your friends and family believe in you, Jin. I'm just more vocal about it sometimes."

"And you know I believe in you?"

He laughed slightly. "To do what?"

"Make a difference in the world, in your own way. On the Waterbender, with your crew." She pressed her forehead against his. "You've already made a difference in mine."

"And here I was thinking you'd be slightly concerned at how good I am at lying to your parents. Yes, Mr. and Mrs. Gyatso, Jinora will be staying in the separate room—"

Jinora shoved him lightly in the shoulder, laughing. "Shut up," she said fondly. "Even if they did know, what could they do? They already know you love me."

"Yeah. I do." Kai kissed her gently, and Jinora smiled, melting into him as he rested his hands on her waist. "Ready for your first trip on the Waterbender?" he asked, almost giddy.

"Absolutely, Captain." Her smile turned sly. "Maybe you could give me a tour of the place? Show me your quarters?"

"Mm, I think you're more familiar with my quarters than anyone else at this point."

"Show me again, anyway?"

Kai wrapped an arm around her waist. "Gladly, Gyatso."

###

His sheets were warm and smelled like him, as she curled into his side, the scent of sweat and sex still fresh in the air.

Kai wrapped an arm around her waist, holding her close as he pressed his smile to her hairline. "Satisfied?" he hummed. She nodded sleepily, yawning as she rested her head on his chest.

"You don't mind if I fall asleep like this?"

"I do kind of have to go pee. Think you can wait five minutes?"

She smiled, nodding again as she pulled away. She let out a giggle when he pressed a quick kiss to the tip of her nose, before going to his adjourning bathroom. It would be so hard to be away from him again. So who could blame her for being clingy when he returned, and nestling herself in his arms?

"Something wrong, babe?" he asked, when she tightened her hold and buried her face in his chest. One of his hands came to cup the back of her head, lightly stroking her hair. "Hey. You can talk to me."

"I'm gonna miss you," she mumbled, pressing a kiss over his heart.

"I'm gonna miss you too," he echoed. "So let's try and be as happy as possible while we're together now, right? That's something Dr. Aput told me. To enjoy happiness while it lasts, instead of worrying about when it'll end."

Jinora smiled slightly. "Yeah. You're right. And we'll see each other again, and...we'll keep figuring it out."

"Yeah. We always do."

"How have you been doing?" she asked. "Now that you can't attend your sessions every week?"

"It's been a bit harder," he admitted. "I might wake you up with nightmares a few times, but… Dr. Aput suggested I write in a journal to keep track of my thoughts, so I've been doing that, and there's Yung, of course, so I've been okay. I'm still taking my meds, even if my prescription got increased a little."

"It's okay if you wake me up. And then, if you want me to, I can hold you. Help you calm down."

He smiled. "I'd like that." He kissed her softly, winding his other arm around her waist. "I love you so much."

"I love you too." Her lips curved upwards. "Anything else you want to talk about, babe?"

"I don't think so. Anything you wanna talk about?"

She shook her head. "Just that I hope you visit me before the holiday break."

"I'll try to surprise you with a few visits, as often as possible."

"Maybe not surprises," she said. "You don't want to pop up during a weekend I'll have no time for you, do you?"

Kai grew thoughtful. "Yeah, you're right. I kinda miss St. Bosco's, where I could just surprise you with dates and know that it wouldn't conflict with anything."

"Me too. But that's okay. Soon enough, I'll be living in Republic City and you can surprise me more often."

"By soon enough, you mean four years?"

Her smile flickered. "Something like that." She cupped his jaw. "No being sad, remember?"

"No being sad," he repeated. "Besides, it's hard to be sad when you're here, making me so happy."

"Do you remember," she began, "when you asked me, why you couldn't be happy?" He nodded. "Do you still think that way now?"

"Sometimes," he admitted. "But I've learned… I'm still learning, that even when I feel like I can't be happy, I still deserve to be."

Jinora's smile grew. "Good. Because you really, really do."

"And so do you." He thought back to Otaku, and his long distance relationship, and grew solemn. "Jin… I know things are going to be hard, but, can we promise that, as long as we're making each other happy, that we'll still fight for us?"

Jinora's brow furrowed slightly, but she nodded. "Of course. You're the only person I ever want to be with."

"And I feel the same way about you. If...if you get tired of waiting, will you tell me? I can't promise I'll be able to fix it right away, but I never want to make you unhappy, again."

"I will. But you could never make me unhappy. I told you, I love being around you. Even when we fight."

"I know, but… promise me anyway?"

Jinora frowned slightly. "Why? Don't you have faith in us?"

"Of course I do."

"Then why would I need to promise?"

"Just… I don't want you to hold anything in."

"I'm not, I thought I made that clear."

"Then it shouldn't be hard to promise—"

Jinora let out a heavy sigh, then got up. "I'm going to the bathroom," she said, a frown tugging at her lips.

"Jin, I just—" She slammed the bathroom door behind her, and Kai dragged a hand down his face, letting out a groan. He just wanted her to promise so that if they didn't work out, for whatever reason, it could be as painless as possible. Why was she never willing to consider the worst case scenario, like his failure in fighting Zaheer, or them breaking up? Was it because she had never experienced it before? Sometimes, it was all too easy to forget how different their lives and upbringings really were, until it came up like this, a wall wedged in between them.

Jinora came out of the bathroom, getting back under the covers with a little huff, before turning her back to him.

"Jin—"

"Why don't you believe in us?"

"I do. I do, Jin, I just—we're young. We're really young, and now that I can actually imagine living a long life… we just don't know what life is gonna throw at us. We'll always be friends, I know that, and we'll always love each other. I'm just saying, if being in love ever hurts us more than it helps, then maybe we should be willing to reconsider it. That's all."

She glanced back at him. "You think it might hurt us one day?"

"I don't know. I just—I want you to be so happy, Jin. And as long as I make you happy, I'll fight for us, you know I will. But I also want us to be prepared. I'm learning to enjoy good things without worrying about them, but… we also know that not all good things last forever. And what we want could change, even if our love doesn't." He sighed. "I didn't want to upset you."

"I know. I just… I don't want us to prepare too much, and then we end up running away too soon, or giving up too easily. I really want this to last."

"So… you're worried about me having one foot out the door?" he said softly.

Jinora nodded. "And you're always travelling, and meeting new people, and…" She sighed. "I don't know."

"Jin? Can you look at me?"

She glanced up at him, her heart melting at the tenderness in his eyes. "Yeah?"

"If...if, for some reason, we need to take a break, or this doesn't work out, or...it will never be because I stopped loving you. Even if everything else changes, that never will. Okay?"

Jinora almost smiled. "Okay." She rested her head against his shoulder, curling into his side as he wrapped an arm around her waist. "I'm sorry I got so upset."

He kissed her temple. "You don't need to apologize. If anything I'm sorry, if I've made you feel like you're the only one who has insecurities, in our relationship."

"What are your insecurities then?" she said softly.

"That my status, occupation, my head, will one day be too much for you. That you'll realize I can't change enough to be good for you."

"You don't have to change."

"I already have. I left my ship, for starters."

"Well, I know everyone changes, and you'll change, and we'll change, but...you don't have to, to be good for me. You're enough, just the way you are, as a kind young man who loves me and always keeps trying."

He smiled slightly. "Thank you. I...it helps, hearing that."

"Looks like we had more to talk about than we thought," she said, smiling slightly, and she leaned up to meet him halfway in a kiss. She lingered, smiling as he gently cupped the back of her head, pulling her closer, and into another kiss when she drew away. Jinora felt heat burn away the edges of her fatigue. "Kai," she murmured, a little breathless, as she leaned in to kiss him again.

He ran his other hand down her back, stroking her skin. "Again, baby?" When she nodded, he kissed her more fiercely, shifting so he was on top of her. His hands wrapped around her arms, rubbing them up and down, as she tangled one hand in his hair, her other resting on his chest. She could already feel him growing hard against her inner thigh.

"Do you remember the night I came to you here?" she murmured against his mouth, in between fierce kisses.

"I remember," he confirmed. It hadn't been the happiest, because they'd gotten into a terrible fight, but it had all worked out in the end.

"If I had told you what I had come for, would you have given it to me?"

"Yes," he said, his lips brushing hers. "I would've tried to make you think about it more, but in the end…" He kissed her deeply, his hands sliding down her waist, to her hips. "I've always wanted you."

She felt their hips press together, and rocked hers into his. "Always?" Her hand cupped his jaw.

Kai nodded. "I thought you were pretty, in the bank."

"You remember that?"

"Mmhm. I didn't recognize you though. Why," his smile ticked up, teasing, as he grinded back against her, "you didn't notice me?"

Jinora bit her lip, barely holding back a whimper, but she smiled all the same. "I did," she said.

"And?" He ducked his head for a moment to kiss her neck, certain in her honesty.

She let out a soft, content sigh. "I thought you were handsome. And didn't think I'd be able to speak to you."

"Good thing you're following my orders, instead of your family's rules, now," he purred, grinding harder against her. He always loved how wet she was.

Jinora laughed, even as pleasure grew between her legs. "I follow my own orders, thank you very much."

And if she let him convince her otherwise, then really, what was the harm?

She melted underneath him, clinging hard as he made love to her, every line of his body pressing wonderfully into his. It didn't take long for her to come, her body clenching around his as he quickened his pace, working himself into release. He came with a quiet groan, his seed spilling inside her for the second time that night.

"I love you," Kai mumbled into her neck. Jinora smiled breathlessly.

"I love you too," she murmured.

"We're okay?"

She closed her eyes, and lazily ran her fingers down the shaven hairs of the bottom of his scalp. "Yeah. We're okay."

###

"Kai—"

"Jin—"

He couldn't hold back a smile as his girlfriend wrapped her arms firmly around his waist, keeping him from getting out of bed. "Can't you stay a little longer?" she whined, pressing a kiss to his hip bone.

"I have to go over financial stuff with Otaku," Kai said, trying not to smile.

"Please? I'll do whatever you want." She looked up at him with her big brown eyes, and Kai could feel his resolve quickly crumbling.

"You're such a bad influence on me," he grinned, getting back into bed with her. Jinora wrapped her arms around his neck, straddling his hips as she laid down on top of him, and he couldn't help but laugh.

"'Financial stuff' isn't going to start classes in a week," Jinora said. Kai let the tip of his nose gently bump hers, as he wrapped his arms around her waist. "Now, what do you want?" She trailed her fingers teasingly up his chest.

"What do you want?" He rested his hands on her hips, giving them a light squeeze.

"The condition was you stay and I give you whatever you want," she said, her nose wrinkling slightly as she smiled.

"And I'm asking for suggestions, since you're all I really want. So?"

She leaned over and nuzzled her nose into the curve of his cheek, resting her forehead against his. "You could make me beg," she murmured, letting her lips brush his. "You like that. And if I rode you, you'd have a wonderful view."

"Mm, it has been a while since you rode me," he said, briefly nipping at her lips.

She kissed him deeply, gazing at him with heavily hooded eyes. "So, what are your orders, Captain?"

His grin turned sly. "I think you know."

And she did.

"Mine," he growled against her skin, some time later, and she felt herself begin to clench around him.

"All yours," she moaned breathlessly. She took his face in her hands, leaning down to kiss him hard as she came just as hard, moaning against his mouth. He tangled a hand in her hair, kissing her back fiercely. She whimpered quietly when he came inside her, overflowing and dripping between her thighs.

"That's it," he murmured, cradling her to him. "That's it, baby. Good girl," he pressed soothing kisses to her hot cheeks, "good girl…" He smiled when she caught his lips with hers, kissing him fervently.

She drew away slowly, her eyes twinkling. "So was that worth staying in for?"

"Yes, it was," he grinned, his smile growing when she kissed the bridge of his nose. "I guess it can't hurt to stay a little longer."

Jinora smiled, pressing one more kiss to his mouth before resting her head against his chest. He rested his chin on top of her head, gently stroking her back. "I love you."

"I love you too."

###

Three days before their arrival at Ba Sing Se, Jinora was reluctant to leave Kai's side, even when she was helping the crew with various duties. He stayed with her as much as he could, even putting off a few of his own duties to spend time with her, so when one afternoon he went off to do something and wouldn't tell her what he was doing or why, she grew a little worried.

All that worry melted away when he led her out of his bedroom and she walked up on deck to find the crew with various instruments, and soft paper lanterns decorating the surfaces.

"We have a music night, every once in awhile," Kai explained, as she turned to look at him. "I wanted you to experience one, before you started university." He held out his hand to her. "Shall we?"

Jinora broke into a wide grin, and took his hand. "We shall," she said, barely able to contain her giddiness. He wasn't the grand gestures of her favourite romance novels, but he was hers, and tried really hard, and that was always more than enough. As he placed a hand at her waist and drew her closer, holding her tight as they both stepped quickly to the lively music, Jinora laughed freely, deciding that this was better than any romance novel. He was better than any romance novel.

"I don't know the steps!" she admitted, and his grin widened.

"Neither do I!"

She was already out of breath at the end of the first song, her throat dry from laughing, and she grabbed a bottle of beer, taking a long swig as they sat down for a break. She smiled when he wrapped an arm around her waist and pressed a kiss to her temple, and for a moment, she could perfectly see herself living on the Waterbender with him.

That would have to happen after she was done with her degree, of course, and after at least a few years of teaching, but…

"What do you think?" he asked, and she leaned into him, beaming.

"I love it. It's amazing, it…" She watched some of the others dancing, and sighed. "It really does feel like home."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." She looked up at him. "Sometimes I remember what you said once, about me not trying to live in your world."

His smile faltered. "That was when we were fighting, I didn't mean—"

"You were right. I never really stayed here, not really. I don't know, it's just...nice." She smiled softly. "Thank you for making me a part of this. I hope, someday, I get the time to be part of this for more than two weeks." Her smile grew, her eyes growing hopeful. "Maybe next summer."

"Yeah," Kai said, smiling widely. "Yeah, if you want. I...I would love that. I could show you all the places we go. Tong Gong has great jewelry, and Chin has a really cool theatre I think you'd like."

"Someday," she said, with the finality of a promise. "We'll go to all those places."

"Someday," he repeated. "I love you so much."

"I love you too."

"Aren't they cute," Lefty said to Yung, nudging him in the ribs. Both men had a beer in one hand and were grinning.

"Shut up," Kai told them, but he was smiling too much to sound annoyed. A slower song began to play, and he looked back at Jinora hopefully. "Still wanna dance?"

"I'd love to," she said, taking his hand. They both got up and walked a little closer to where the crew was playing, and Kai placed his hands on her waist, drawing her closer. She rested her forearms on his shoulders, her hands clasped behind his neck as they both swayed to the music. She rested her head against his chest.

"You know I love you?" he murmured into her hair.

"You said it less than five minutes ago, so yes," she teased, looking up at him.

"I won't be able to say it every five minutes, soon," he reminded her. Her smile softened, and she leaned up and kissed him.

"I love you too," she whispered. "I love you, always."

"Always," he repeated. He held her tighter when she buried her face in his neck, and for a moment, everything was perfect.

###

There was a little river that led down into Ba Sing Se, scattered with trading ports that the Waterbender easily sailed down, passing through until they were near the outskirts of the city. They were able to rent a couple carriages, and they piled her belongings into one to be moved into her dorm at the university while they rode in the other. She held his hand tightly the entire time, bouncing slightly in her seat from pure excitement. Even if she had to say goodbye to him again in a couple of days, right now they were taking their first vacation together, and it was just the first of many. They had two days until her classes started, and Jinora intended on making the most of them.

And if that included setting down all the boxes of her stuff on the floor, unpacking none of them, and not even bothering to throw sheets over her mattress before she was sitting Kai down on it, then who could blame her, really?

She kissed him impatiently, straddling his waist as she combed her hands through his hair, smiling against his mouth as he gripped her hips. Kai flipped them so she was sitting instead, as his hands reached underneath her skirt and started pulling down her panties, while one of her hands left his hair to undo his pants. Their hands were frantic, mouths still locked together in sloppy, desperate kisses. Jinora let out a moan as he tugged her bottom lip between his teeth, his hand casting her underwear finally to the floor, as he kneeled at the foot of the mattress they hadn't even bothered to drag onto the bed frame in the corner. "Captain," she whimpered between heavy kisses.

"Hmm?" He smirked against her lips, one hand sliding down to her ass and gripping it hard. He pulled away from her lips and tugged her earlobe between his teeth. "How badly do you want it?"

"So badly." She curled her hand over the nape of his neck, pressing him closer to her, and running a finger along the shell of his ear. "Baby please. I need you." He pressed his tip against her entrance, rubbing it along her dripping folds. "Please," she whined, and she moaned hoarsely as his cock slid into her completely. "Thank you," she croaked, clinging harder as he pounded into her.

"Mm, you just want to take as many orders from your Captain as you can, huh baby?"

"Yes," she breathed. He leaned against her harder, pushing her completely onto her back, and his hand left her hip and grabbed her breast over her blouse, kneading it hard as he rammed into her.

Her breathing hitched with every hard thrust, her nails digging into his upper arms as he held himself up above her, pounding into her on a delicious slant that made her moans turn hoarse.

"You like that baby?" he purred, his hand going to her other breast and giving it the same treatment. She nodded breathlessly, her fingers curling into his shirt as she smeared her mouth over the line of his jaw.

Jinora shuddered, letting out a whimper against his jaw as she came, hard and tight. Her thighs were still tight around his hips when he came moments later, his seed dripping down his shaft and down her inner thighs.

She was breathing hard, even as she caught his mouth in a fumbling kiss. Kai's hands slid from her hips to giving her waist a light squeeze, running his tongue along the seam of her lips, letting out a soft hum when he deepened the kiss and she granted him entrance into her mouth.

"Mm," Jinora ran her hands down to his jaw, cradling his face in her hands, just enjoying the feel of his mouth against hers, and him inside her, hard but sated. Her heart fluttered when she felt him smile against her mouth, his tongue lazily tracing the curve of hers, until he slowly drew away from her lips.

"You're so damn sexy," he murmured appreciatively. Jinora let out a quiet moan, sighing as he pressed open-mouthed kisses to the crook of her neck.

"So are you," she managed. "But mm, baby—tell me how?"

"That hoarseness in your voice," he said, "when I'm making love to you. After we're done." He ran a hand up her thigh. "Your legs. God, your ass." He reached underneath her and gave it a firm squeeze, almost massaging it. He briefly sucked on her pulse point, and Jinora let out another contented sigh. "Mm, and I love your breasts, and your eyes, and your mouth, and your hair, but you already know all that, don't you?"

She smiled, turning her head slightly to press a kiss to his hair. "I do," she said, "but I'll never get tired of hearing about it." He nipped at her earlobe. "Mm, I love your mouth. And your hands...your arms… your tattoos."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, baby." She wound her fingers through his hair, playing with his curls. "Your chest, and back, and muscles. Your stupid messy hair," she teased a little, and he puffed out a laugh against her cheek. "You're so sexy to me."

"Mm, do you want to get the sheets on this thing before we have another round?"

She laughed softly, pulling away as she nodded. "Alright. Help me up, Captain."

Kai slowly pulled out of her, then helped her onto her feet, pulling her into one more brief kiss before letting go. He helped her lift the mattress onto the bed frame, and draw the sheets up over it, with the pillows and covers and everything. As soon as the blanket was spread over the mattress, they were on top of it again, a blissful mess of limbs once more.

###

The upper ring was even grander than Jinora had ever expected. It was full of charming buildings made of beautiful stone, finely dressed nobles and glittering jewelry. Her hand was tight in Kai's, just to keep from getting lost. Why was she feeling so nervous among people who weren't that different than her own family? Just because they were richer?

"Is this how you feel?" she muttered to Kai. "Around my crowd?"

"Something like this," he said, "since your hand is so sweaty."

"Oh, sorry."

"It's not a bad thing, babe." He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "Just gotta hold on tighter."

Jinra smiled slightly, squeezing back. "Yeah. But this...my jumble of nerves, in my stomach? That's how you feel, around my crowd, at parties?"

"Whenever it's not just the two of us at parties, yeah," he confessed, stroking his thumb over her knuckles.

"I'm sorry," she began, and he stopped them, giving him a warm, soft smile.

"Hey, it's not your fault. Do you ever feel weird, when you're around people of my class?"

"Not around the crew," she said. "Sometimes, when we're in a poorer part of the marketplace, but…" She sighed. "I never know what to do. It's presumptuous to assume they need or are even willing to accept anything I give them, but I don't want to do nothing, either."

"What do you do with the crew?"

"I talk to them," Jinora shrugged. "I mean, they really are fine, and don't need my help."

"Then just start by talking to them, if you have the time. Some people might try to steal from you, and you already know how to defend yourself if anyone tried anything violent, but...most people just want to feel normal, you know? If a need comes up, you can ask if you can help meet it. It's more personal, that way." He glanced around at the wealthy pedestrians passing them by. "Of course, I have no advice for how to deal with these people."

Jinora laughed, lightly swinging their joined hands between them. "Thank you, I...guess I never thought about it much. I never had to think about where I had to get my next meal, or where I would sleep."

"I'm glad you don't know what that's like. I always want you to be safe and comfortable and happy. Better that and not knowing quite what to do around people in need." Kai gave her another soft smile. "And one day, when we're living together for good, I still want to spoil you. Not sure how, and it won't be to the capacity your family does, but…"

Jinora's smile widened, and she rested her head on his shoulder. "You spoil me plenty just by loving me the way you do."

"Still. You like pretty things, don't you?"

"I like you, don't I?" She smiled when Kai laughed. "And you're all I need. All I want. Besides," she said, more matter-of-factly, as she held up her pendant, "you already gave me something pretty, for me to have when you're not around. And it's more special because you made it."

His eyes softened. "Thanks, Jin."

"Anytime, Captain."

They spent the rest of the afternoon exploring bookstores and small cafes, blissfully happy.

###

At two am on their last night together—Kai would be leaving in another eight hours—Jinora prodded her boyfriend awake. They'd gone dancing after dinner, and made love before falling asleep, pulling on some clothes to ward off the September chill creeping through her window. Ba Sing Se was much colder than Republic City, although she was proud with the progress they'd made, of unpacking the most important things from her belongings.

"Kai?" she whispered, and he groaned groggily. She'd woken up an hour ago, gripped by a paralyzing fear she couldn't quite explain.

"Hmm?"

"What if I've made the wrong choice?"

Kai blinked sleepily, but straightened up slightly. "About what?" A frown tugged at his mouth. "About… us?"

"No," she said quickly, grabbing his arm. He still hadn't put on a shirt, bless him. "No, baby, not us." She kissed his neck, and then nuzzled into the crook of it. "I love you. We can make this work, I just… what if the distance becomes too much? What if I hate my classes? Or don't have any friends? What if I should have stayed in Republic City after all? Or gone to finishing school like I was supposed to? What if I'm not cut out for this?"

"Hey. Look at me." He took her hands as she slowly drew away from his neck, looking into his face. "If anyone can do this, it's you. You didn't want finishing school, and you've been telling me for years how much you want university. If you don't like your classes, you can change them. If you don't like university, you can even drop out. There's no shame in it, if it doesn't make you happy. But you'll never know if you don't try. And I know how much you want this." He gently cupped her cheek, stroking his thumb over its curve. "This is fear of the unknown talking. I…"

His smile grew sheepish. "I would love to be selfish, and convince you to just live with me on the Waterbender. But I also know you wouldn't be happy if you never got to at least experience university for a little bit. You'll make friends. You're smart and kind and the sweetest person I know. And you'll always have your friends back home, you'll always see them when you go back to visit. And…"

He rested his forehead against hers. "You'll always have me. I can't say we won't have trouble, and I can't say that we'll always withstand the distance, but...nothing can keep me from loving you, and being there for you as much as I'm able." He gently brushed a loose strand of hair from her face. "If you want to take a year or more off, or stop going altogether, and either go back home or sail with me for a while, just tell me, and I'll pick you up as soon as I can. But I don't want you to make that decision out of fear. Especially when you've wanted this for so long." He gave her hand a soft squeeze. "You are brilliant, Jinora Gyatso. I know you can do this. I'm just happy to be here to witness it."

"Thank you," she murmured, leaning in to kiss him. "You're right, I—I love you so much."

He smiled against her mouth, giving her another quick kiss. "I love you too. And I'm already so proud of you."

"And I'm proud of you," she said softly. "You've come so far, and you've become such a strong leader. I see how happy the crew is, working with you. And you've been doing so well with therapy, and…" She sighed softly, looking up at him with tender eyes. "I've never known that someone could be so strong, and so kind, until I met you."

Kai gave her a soft kiss, drawing away only to nuzzle into her cheek. "Thank you, Jinora. You ready to go back to sleep now?"

"I suppose I should." She curled into him. "I'm going to miss you so much."

"I'll miss you too. You know that, don't you?"

"I know."

He tucked her hair behind her ears. "Jin, d'you remember, when you said we should give each other photographs?"

She smiled. " _Illicit_ photographs, you mean?"

His smile grew sly. "I have a camera right here."

"Take one of me first?"

Kai pressed another kiss to her cheek, before getting up and grabbing a camera off one of his higher shelves. It was an older model, but was the kind of camera that developed high quality pictures instantly, all the same. Jinora pushed the covers off of her as Kai turned on a few lamps, just enough to gently light the room, her creamy skin almost glowing against the bedsheets and the tank top and panties she'd pulled on.

"How would you like it?" she asked him, messing up her hair the way she knew he liked.

"Just like that, first," he said. "Then maybe one of you completely undressed?"

She smiled. "Whatever the Captain orders." She threw her best seductive look at the camera as she snapped the picture, before they both dissolved into giggles. The photo shuddered out of the slot below the lens, and after a few seconds, the image grew clear, Jinora looking very much like a pinup model frozen in time.

"Beautiful," he told her, holding it up for her approval, which she gave with another giggle and a nod, before he carefully laid it on her bedside table.

"And now?" Jinora slowly began to lift up the bottom of her tank top, and tugged down one side of her panties, just to her mid thigh.

"If you'd be so kind," Kai said, trying not to smile too wide, and Jinora pulled her tank top off over her head, discarding it onto the floor, her panties following shortly after. His smile grew softer, tenderness and awe in his eyes as Jinora posed on the bed again, feeling far more vulnerable as he snapped another picture. "Would you mind, doing something a bit more risque?"

She smiled at him, despite the flush colouring her cheeks. "Like what?"

"Touch yourself, for me?"

Her smile widened, and she bit her bottom lip, as she spread her legs apart and began gently stroking her wet folds. "Like this?"

"That's perfect," he murmured.

Jinora pushed a finger inside of herself, letting out a low moan, keeping her eyes open as Kai took the final picture. He set the camera back down, and began to crawl back into bed with her, leaning in for a kiss, when she pressed a free finger to his lips. "Your turn," she said, before slipping out under him with a giggle.

"You sure you don't want me to eat you out first?"

"Tempting," she said, "but I'm getting my pictures first."

Kai laughed, stealing a quick kiss from her anyway. "Whatever you want, baby. What would you like me to do? Give you one of my sexy winks?"

She laughed, shoving him lightly in the shoulder. "Just undo your pants, pirate."

Kai took her place on the bed, undoing his sleep pants. "Like this, Gyatso?" he grinned.

She wrinkled her nose at him, but took the camera anyway, and positioned the lens towards him. "That's just fine," she said, snapping a picture. She caught it before it fell to the ground, and laid it on the desk with the others. "Now take your pants off."

"Feeling demanding today, aren't we?" he teased, but he pushed his pants off anyway, his shaft still fully erect.

"Just look pretty for the camera, baby."

Kai laughed, but complied, as she took her second picture. "And now you want me to show you what you graciously showed me?" he guessed, quirking an eyebrow.

"It's only fair."

"Well then, in the interest of fairness…" He licked the length of his palm, before reaching between his legs, slowly stroking himself. He forced himself to keep his eyes on the camera, even as he groaned. "Mm, Gyatso, bet you can't wait to have this inside you again," he said, as Jinora snapped one last picture.

She put the camera next to their tiny stack of photos, and then climbed into his lap. "Arrogance isn't becoming on you, baby," she told him.

"Hm, but you will be?"

"Maybe." She pressed a teasing kiss to the corner of his jaw. "So, which one of us is topping, for our last time until Thanksgiving?"

He flipped them over so he was on top, and let his mouth brush hers. "We'll have to see if I'm in a giving mood by then," he said, "but for now…" He nipped at her earlobe, before moving down to her neck, then her collarbone.

"You're in charge?" she hummed, running her fingers through his hair, then down his neck and back. She squeezed at his hips, aligning them with hers, and wrapping her thighs around them.

His lips brushed the shell of her ear. "When am I not?"

She laughed. "Just shut up, and kiss me."

He was more than happy to oblige until they were both sweaty and sated, and even then they didn't pull apart.

He combed her hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ears, gazing at her softly, and she looped her arms around his neck. "I love you, Kai." She kissed him again, and he ran his finger over the curve of her cheek, smiling slightly.

Kai wound his arms around her waist, holding her close, one hand cupping her face. "I love you too, Jin."

"I love you," she breathed against his lips, running her finger through his hair. "I'm gonna miss you so much—"

"Shh." Kai rested his forehead against hers. "I'm here now, baby. Just let me take care of you."

"I'm so glad you're my first," she murmured, kissing him softly. She rested her hands on his chest, her brown eyes meeting his green. "I love you so much."

"I'm glad you're my first, too," he said softly. He held her closer. "And my last, however long it takes."

Tears pricked at her eyes. She knew he had a day of travel in the morning, but once he got to the ship, there hopefully wouldn't be too much to do, and she just had to go back to unpacking. "Kai," she whispered, her voice almost shaking, "how many times can you make love to me tonight?"

"As many times as we want." He cradled her to his chest, taking her face in his hands and threading his fingers through her hair. "God I love you. Love this."

"Me too." Jinora let her lips brush against his. "I love you too."

They were still lazily moving together even when her alarm clock went off to signify the morning, and they still didn't let go, holding one another for as long as possible.


	17. The First Semester

**a/n:** some new dynamics, new faces, and some more explicit smut here and there. just another step in the grand plan, enjoy

* * *

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: The First Semester

The school and the sea were good distractions. Jinora threw herself into her studies, her politics and economics class, her history and English and more history, working her way to being in the top 10% of all of her classes by the end of the first semester. Her professors liked her and already wanted to help her set up some assistant teaching jobs when summer came (assuming she stayed in the city instead of going home, which she was still trying to decide upon), and she only struggled a little with each quiz and exam. In between homework and finding friends (two girls who were engaged, and lived in the apartment across from her, named Yin and Malae) she wrote letters to Kai, and read his too. Even when he was miles away (sailing towards the coast of the Fire Nation for some trading deals, he'd explained in his last letter) he was a thought in the back of her mind, like a shadow, with her at every step.

She kept pictures of him hidden in her drawer, the three illicit ones from their last night buried underneath socks, frequently taken out on nights she missed him more desperately. But during the day, she kept a few of the more innocent photos out on her desk as she worked. One of the two of them laughing at the camera with their arms wrapped around each other had a permanent place on her desk, and her heart ached a little every time she saw it.

"Is that your boyfriend?" Yin had asked one day, the first time she'd had the girls over at her apartment.

Jinora had hesitated, because yes, she and Kai were together, and yes, they were exclusive, while also mutually agreeing to not technically being exclusive, but they hadn't decided on labels, and her throat got tight, so all she said was, "Sort of."

"Oh?" Malae had perked up in interest, her braid of dark hair swinging as she raised her head.

"Well, he is, but he's a sailor, so… we're doing long distance right now, but we're just seeing how it works for now."

"You love him?"

Jinora managed a small smile. "So much."

"He loves you?"

"So, so much." She smiled softly. "I miss him, but...we write all the time, and we'll see each other again during the holidays."

"Long distance sounds tough," Yin said.

"It is, but...we make it work. I miss him, but nearly every other day I get a letter from him, and even just thinking about him, it makes me so happy. Even my sadness at the distance can't take away how happy he makes me, and he feels the same, so I think...I think we're doing okay."

"I think you will be too," said Malae with a smile.

Jinora hoped they would be right, as winter started falling outside her window, a week into December. She glanced down at her review sheet, then at the most recent letter from Kai, her mind unable to focus completely on studying for final exams. She sighed, then took the letter in her hands, allowing herself to read it once more.

 _My dearest, Jinora_

 _The cold weather has been making sailing a little more difficult near some of the ports, but Ba Sing Se is usually pretty good about making sure ice is cleared, so we'll be on time to pick you up. But just in case, if we're not, I owe you an extra dozen Spirit Festival cookies._

 _I know final exams are coming up and you're busy, and you don't even have to write back to me if you don't have time, I just wanted to wish you the best of luck (not that you'll need it). I love you so much, and I am so so proud of you. I'm so glad school is working out, and your friends sound great. Hopefully next semester the weather clears up and I'll be able to visit you at school, and meet your friends, if you want. (Or we could just spend the entire time with each other. You know I could never mind that.)_

 _I have to go help Lefty with some stock, but I'll write you again as soon as I can. And if I don't, it's probably because I'm already there in person to pick you up and remind you how much I love you. And that you have to eat and drink something other than coffee. Take care of yourself, babe, okay? We both gotta do a good job at that._

 _See you soon. I love you._

 _Always yours,_

 _Kai_

Jinora smiled softly, taking a sip from the glass of water at her desk. She'd gotten it after she'd read the letter the first time, though she'd finished her most recent mug of coffee before drinking the water. She had a few orange slices at the edge of her desk, and began to munch slowly on one, her eyes lingering on the _See you soon. I love you._

How could two sentences give her so much hope?

Jinora set her empty water glass down, then pressed a kiss to the letter and folded it back up neatly, placing it in the blue wooden box she'd brought along to store all of Kai's letters. It was nearly full now; she would probably have to get a new letter box, if Kai didn't give her one as a Spirit Festival gift.

Maybe one day they'd own a house with a big attic where they could keep all their letter boxes, when they didn't need to write letters, anymore.

But for now, she was content to study, and wait for the warmth of his arms again. It was almost enough to put her heart at ease.

###

After the last exam, Jinora couldn't tell if she was more relieved or drained, as she used what little energy she had to pack up enough belongings to go back home. It wasn't till she answered a knock at her door and saw Kai standing there, smiling broadly as she threw herself into his arms.

"Hey, Jin," he said softly, burying his face in her hair.

"You smell like the sea," she mumbled.

"I did only get off the docks a couple hours ago. We had to do some unloading first." He held her tighter. "Gods, I missed you." He pulled away from her hair to look into her face, and drank in the sight of her for a moment, before Jinora grabbed his face and kissed him hard.

"Not as much as I missed you," she murmured in between kisses, and Kai chuckled against her mouth.

"I beg to disagree, Gyatso."

Jinora giggled against his mouth. "We can debate that plenty on the way back home." Her hands slid down to his collar, as she toyed with it. "In your room?"

"Thought you'd say something like that," he grinned. He kissed her again briefly, before pulling away, still holding onto her hands. "A few of the crew's coming up to help get your stuff on board, so...shall we?"

Jinora smiled brightly, squeezing his hands. "We shall."

He held one of her hands, and picked up her first piece of luggage with the other, before they walked out the door together. "So," he said happily, "how did your exams go?"

###

To their credit, they really did spend time talking themselves hoarse, catching up on the four months they had been separate (business deals, and assignments, and friends and enemies) before they had found they didn't need words anymore. It was only a matter of time before they found themselves tangled up on his bed, their hands and mouths wandering as they fought to be closer.

"So much better than just pictures," Kai murmured against her neck, as he undid the buttons of her blouse, his weight warm over hers. Jinora sighed softly running her hands down his already bare chest.

"I know what you mean." She reached up and played with his hair. "There were so many nights I thought about you baby, and tried..."

He was rough and faster than usual, and she craved it, craved more, wanting him fast and hard and deep. Wanting him. Just the knowledge that he had missed her and wanted her just as much made her toes curl, her thighs trembling as they tightened around his hips.

He made love to her like he was drowning and she was air, and it wasn't long before they came one after the other, like waves against the shore, panting with sweaty skin sticking to sweaty skin.

"I love you," he said hoarsely, and she pressed her smile to the corner of his mouth.

"I love you too," she murmured. "I missed you." She kissed him again, more softly, drawing back with a slight twinkle in her eye. "But we made it this far, right?"

"Yeah," he said, smiling back. "We did."

###

The Spirit Festival was as enjoyable at the Gyatsos as it always was. Rohan was getting taller every day, but still loved the stars, and was more than happy to receive a sculpted star model from Kai's travels. Kai looked forward to everything about the Spirit Festival at the Gyatsos'—the meal made by Daw and the kitchen staff, snowball fights with the crew, and opening presents with both his families around the large, beautifully decorated Festival tree. Most of all, he liked kissing Jinora under the mistletoe.

It was rare, glimmering moments like these when he thought that maybe, just maybe, both of his lives could coexist in harmony.

"Kai?" said Tenzin one day, as the young man walked down a hallway, intent on grabbing a moonpeach from the kitchen. "May I speak with you for a moment?"

"Uh, sure, Mr. Gyatso." Kai stuck his hands in his pockets, wheeling around to face him. "What's up?"

"I know you haven't been sailing for long, but I was wondering...do you think you'll retire, anytime soon?"

"I'm not even in my twenties yet," Kai said, "I think, but I have thought about handing the captainship over to Lefty or Yung. I'm not sure." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Jin and I have talked about it, but while she's at school, it makes more sense for me to be sailing. Maybe when she comes back home and has a job, I might… we're giving ourselves time to figure it out. Why are you asking, sir?"

"I just thought… Pema and I quite like having you home for the holidays, son. We wouldn't mind having you around more often. Even getting you a job closer to the manor?"

"Oh, sir, I—that's really, really nice of you, and I'm really grateful for everything you and Pema have done for me, sir, I just—I need to take care of my crew, first. But maybe after a few years, after Jinora's settled into a job, we'll...we'll see." Kai smiled slightly. "I like being around for the holidays, too."

"I don't want to pull you away from your sailing. I know it's what you love. But I also know for you, and many of your crew, you were drawn to it out of necessity. How do you think the crew would feel about having land based, honest work? Yourself included? You wouldn't need to take care of them, then. At least, not in the same way."

Kai smiled thinly. "I don't think I'll retire until I've taken down Quil. Abolished the slave trade, y'know." He slipped his hands into his pockets, sighing heavily. "Otherwise, I would just keep us limited to legal trade. That's pretty much all we do aside from trying to liberate slave ships. I...I was given a greater chance than I deserved. I want to give even a little bit of that to other people, I guess. But if any of my men get tired, want to settle down...can I tell them that your offer's still on the table?"

"Of course, Kai. My offer will still be standing, whenever you want it."

"Thank you sir." Kai gave him a rueful smile. "And there is one slightly less legal thing I want to do before I retire, of finding—and possibly stealing—my birth records."

"I don't think you'll have to. If you want, I could look into it for you."

Kai blinked. "Really?"

"I would have some resources to go about procuring it."

"You don't have to do that, it...it's just something I've always wanted to know, I don't want to rope you in—"

"Kai, if it's important to you, it matters to me. You're part of the family. Besides," Tenzin added with a slight smile, "if it can keep you legally in the clear, then it's worth looking into."

Kai chuckled softly. "Thank you, sir." His smile faltered slightly. "It's funny, I...sometimes I still think about that day, in the bank, and when I first saw you, I never thought…"

"I know. Neither did I." Tenzin's beard twitched. "I must admit, I thought of you as a scoundrel."

Kai laughed. "Well you weren't entirely wrong, sir."

"Yes I was." Tenzin placed a hand on Kai's shoulder, and Kai wondered when Tenzin had stopped having to reach down to do so. "You're a good person, and a wonderful young man. I can't think of a better person for my daughter for have grown up with, and have a relationship with."

His eyes stung. "O-oh. Thank you, sir."

"And I know you and Jinora will handle your relationship like responsible adults."

The tips of Kai's ears turned red. "Of course, sir."

Tenzin squeezed his shoulder, and then let go. "Alright then, son. I hope you have a good afternoon."

Kai managed a smile. "You too, sir."

###

The New Year's party was smaller this year, with only the Sesis, Nanuqs, BeiFongs, and Sonos as the families invited. Pfannee was also invited, with her young son Lee Wen, although this was the first year that none of the rest of her family was invited with her. However, Tenzin had also invited the entire crew of the Waterbender, which Lee wasn't sure would quite help with his reelection, but it was nice all the same, possibly even better than previous years. It was fun too, to meet and mingle with some of the people Kai called family, namely Yung and Lefty and a few others, the rest in town with the medic, just in case. They weren't nearly as preoccupied with manners, and ready to make friends with everyone, and Lee couldn't find it in him to care about the scandalized looks on his parents' and brother's faces.

As for Kai himself… Lee muttered curses into his drink. Did the young man have to be so damn handsome all the time? Even with his messy hair and his slightly rumpled collar—shit, that was making him even more attractive, if anything.

"Lee!" Kai called, and Lee tried not to choke on his drink as Kai pulled him into a big hug. Jinora hugged Lee right after, smiling widely as she pulled away, and guilt curdled in his butterfly-filled stomach. "How's our future governor?"

"Shut up," Lee mumbled, barely holding back a smile. He may have been first in his political science class, but that didn't mean he was going to be governor, yet.

"He'll be a wonderful successor," Jinora said, "and it'll get Meelo off the hook, anyway."

"Let's just hope your father gets reelected first. I'd rather take the reins from him than have to clean up more of Chow's messes, if I ever even did become governor."

"Yeah, him and the APA haven't been fun lately," said Kai, running a hand through his hair, and Lee's heart tightened. Did he know how attractive that was? "He's given them more funds so they've expanded...unfortunately. Although, we've been pissing them off way more than they've been pissing us, so, I guess that's a good thing."

"Eloquently phrased, Captain," Jinora teased.

"No one can say I don't get my point across," Kai said, glancing at Jinora with a soft smile. Lee's insides twisted when he saw the tenderness in Kai's eyes as he looked at Jinora, knowing that he would never look at him that way.

"You two are so sappy," said Shen Shen, sidling up to them with a wine glass in one perfectly manicured hand. She sounded annoyed, but she was smiling. "Have your families had to put up with this the entire holiday?"

"Oh shush, you know they love having Kai over," Jinora said, hooking her arm into his. She tugged him onto the dance floor when some of the music (courtesy of the crew) started up. "And we will be right back," she said, leaving Shen Shen and Lee on their own.

"You okay, Sono?" Shen Shen asked, studying him. He realized he'd been zoning out, and worse, he'd been staring after Kai.

"What—? Oh, yes. I'm fine, Shen."

"You have a funny look on your face."

"What? No I don't."

Shen Shen smirked, then held out her hand to him. "Then would you care to dance?"

"Thought you would want to dance with Pfannee," he said.

"Nah, she's dancing with the other Lee right now."

Truth be told, Pfannee had her month old baby on her hip, swaying gently to the music. Little Lee Wen took after her, with tufts of dark hair and her kind eyes, and even the chubbiness of her rosy cheeks.

Shen Shen was still holding out her hand. "Well?"

He sighed, then took Shen Shen's hand, allowing her to guide him onto the dance floor. The song the crew was playing on lutes, woodwinds, and a tsungi horn was nice, if sounding like a blend of Earth Kingdom and Fire Nation traditional music, and he fell into the ritual steps he and Shen Shen had spent their childhoods learning, allowing him to lead rather mindlessly. Every time he caught a glimpse of Kai dancing with Jinora over Shen Shen's shoulder, his heart clenched. Why did he have to feel this way about someone who was already long gone and taken? _Again_?

"You're looking at Kai again," Shen Shen whispered.

"W-what?"

"You've been staring at him all night."

"No I—"

"It's okay." The hand that was resting on his shoulder squeezed it. "I used to stare at Miki and Pfannee like that too."

Lee blinked. He'd known that Shen Shen liked girls, but had never known that she'd ever felt anything romantic for anyone in their friend group. "How'd you deal with it?"

"I accepted it as part of myself. There's nothing wrong with you liking boys, Lee. And certainly nothing wrong with you liking him. He's a good guy, and he's the first friend you've really had who wasn't a girl. Of course he means a lot to you. It makes sense."

Lee swallowed. "Do you think he or Jinora know?"

"No. Even if they did, I'm sure they'd understand."

"Do you still like Miki or Pfannee?"

Shen Shen smiled slightly. "Miki, no."

Lee nodded in understanding. "Do you think you'll tell her?"

"She doesn't need my feelings right now." Shen Shen glanced at Pfannee, smiling wide as she swayed with Lee Wen on her hip. "Besides, I still get to be there for her. It's okay."

Lee's throat tightened. "It feels like I can't breathe, sometimes."

"I know. But it gets easier, I promise." She didn't release him with the song ended. "Come on, let's grab a couple of drinks and go some place quiet."

Lee followed Shen Shen off the dance floor, his hand still in hers, when he heard a chorus of screams, and all of a sudden, he was being wrenched away from Shen Shen by rough hands, and something cold and hard was pressed firmly into the side of his skull.

"Weapons on the ground, now!" barked a voice behind him, and Lee forced his panicked eyes upward. Windows of the ballroom had been shattered, cold wind sweeping in as the pirates and upper class alike looked shell shocked. There were pirates he didn't recognize too, burly brutish men with a glint of cruelty to their eyes that were absent in the ones of Kai and his crew.

There was a moment of stunned silence, and then came Kai's voice, cutting and calm with barely controlled rage simmering underneath. "You heard him, men." And Lee watched as Kai threw down his sword, and then his dagger over top and the rest of his crew following suit. The rival crew's men quickly picked up the weapons, holding them as their own. Kai had pushed Jinora behind him too, as though to shield her, before he spat, "What are you doing here, Jet?"

"You have some powerful enemies. And I've been wanting to see you for a while now. It's like you forgot about me, now that you have your new friends. The poor isn't good enough for you now? You have to wear a suit like a gentlemen? You're still the son of a whore, no matter what clothes you wear. You know you don't belong."

"If you've just come here to taunt me," Kai hissed, "then you can leave these people alone. Are you too much of a coward to face me the way a pirate should?"

Jet flat out laughed, loud in Lee's ear. "You've always been too honourable for your own good."

"Leave these people alone," Kai repeated more forcefully. "You want to take care of this outside? Fine."

"Why, I'm just looking out for my own," Jet said, his voice dripping with mock-innocence. "These folks should more than be able to take care of some payments we need to fill."

"Right, targeting a party you knew I would be at isn't transparent at all," Kai said sarcastically. "Don't make me tell you again, let—"

Jet fired a gun into the air and Lee nearly jumped out of his skin. Some of the partygoers screamed. "As much as it may shock you, Captain, I didn't know you would be here. I thought you'd be sailing around, pissing off slavers. That's what you do now, isn't it? And yet here you are. It must be the universe's Festival gift to me. I wonder how much Quil would pay for you and the rest of your mutt crew."

"Longshot would be ashamed, if he was here right now."

"Don't talk to me about the medic you stole right out from under me. He was my friend before he was yours."

"And he's still my friend. It's not hard to see why you can't say the same."

"Do you want me to put a bullet in your friend's skull, then?" Jet pressed the tip of the gun harder against Lee's skin, and Mrs. Sono gasped.

Kai scowled. "You can do," he said, "whatever the fucking hell you want to me Jet. Go ahead and beat me to death, I don't care. _But let him go._ "

Jet pulled the gun away. "Fine." He loosened his hold around Lee, and then pointed the gun at Kai, and shot him in the shin. Jinora yelped and Kai hissed in pain, but remained standing. "Men, tie them all up in some of the rooms. We're putting this place on lockdown."

###

Jinora was glad she was in a room with Kai and Lee, even if she was also stuck with the rest of Lee's family and didn't know where her own was. They'd all been bound with rope cutting into their wrists, their hands bound behind their backs, most of the jewelry and expensive accessories on their persons taken away. She could only assume that anyone who wasn't on guard duty was robbing the rest of the mansion, and hoped that her friends, guests, the few crew members that were here, and Pfannee's son Lee Wen were okay too.

Jet had forced his medic to wrap something around Kai's injury, although it didn't seem to be doing much, and he was already starting to bleed through the cloth. "I can't believe I was such an idiot," Kai muttered to himself, swearing.

"You're not an idiot—"

"I should have been on guard with the crew or something, none of this would have happened if—"

"Kai." She rested her head on his shoulder. "Jet, that's his name?" He nodded. "He said he didn't even know you were here. He would have come anyway."

Kai's brow furrowed, and then he swore again. "I knew I didn't recognize some of his crew—they're mercenaries. He got the money to pay them from somewhere."

"Who would—"

"Quil, I bet." Kai scowled. "Or the Chows. They both have the resources for it. God, when I get out of here I'm gonna put Jet's head on a spike!"

"And how, exactly, are you going to get out of here?" said Shun tiredly. Their hostage room was a guest room with bare walls, and little else but a bed and a dresser.

Kai threw him a glare, and then scanned the room, looking for something that could be useful. He used his shoulder to push himself up onto his feet, and limped over to the dresser. He kept his back to it so he could use his hands, and pulled out the middle drawer a decent amount. It was empty, but he hooked the rope wrapped around his chains underneath the hard point of its vertex, and used it to start sawing through his binds. He cut his fingers a couple times, but kept going, until the ropes fell away from his wrists.

Jinora's face lit up, and he walked over to undo her binds, and then Lee's. "What now?" she asked. Lee went to go pull apart his father's ropes.

"You," Kai said firmly, "are going to stay here, while I get a weapon, and some of my men. We'll come back for all of you when it's safe."

"Kai—"

"This isn't up for discussion, Jinora. It's not a normal fight or a fencing match, and you're a hostage." Kai's voice softened. "Stay here, please."

Jinora's lips flattened into a thin line, but she nodded. "Fine. Come back safe, okay?"

"Okay." Kai kissed her briefly, before heading into the hallway. There was a yell (not his, she could tell) and then the sound a body thudding against the ground, and she hoped that meant Kai had his weapon.

Kai opened the door back up, holding both a long knife and a sword. There was some blood on his collar, and he held out the dagger towards Jinora. "Just in case," he told her, going to the hallway for a moment as she took it. He dragged in the body of the guard, who had their throat slit, and shoved him into the closet. "I'll be back," he promised, and then left, for good this time.

"He'll be okay, Jinora," said Lee, as the minutes ticked back.

"He's already injured," she said. "What if he gets shot again, and more of Jet's men have guns? He's nineteen, not invincible."

"Neither are they. He's tough. He'll be alright. If we went out there, he would only worry about keeping us safe even more."

She deflated, and rubbed at her wrists. "You're right." She sat down, drawing her knees up to her chest.

"How many people has he killed?" said Shun, glancing from the closet to the dagger in Jinora's hands.

"I don't know," Jinora confessed glumly. "I know he's been killing since he was fourteen. In self defense, mind you. But given his upbringing, I'm surprised it didn't start earlier."

"And they let him into St. Bosco's?!"

Jinora rolled her eyes. "Of course they did, it's not like he likes killing people, or even does it without a good reason." She glanced at the closet. "That guard would have killed all of us without hesitation if he hadn't had anything to gain from us."

"But—"

"Shun, shut up," Lee said tiredly. "Even you can't be stupid enough to badmouth the guy that's trying to save us."

"Lee Sono," his father admonished, "you do not speak to your brother and your family that way. You are treading a very thin line, young man. We wouldn't be in this situation if not for that pirate."

"Nothing he does is good enough for you," Lee said. "And you're always waiting for him to do something wrong, and even when it's not his fault, you blame him, and—" Lee let out a huff. "The Gyatsos don't have a problem with him, so why do you insist on having one?"

"Look where trusting that pirate got them—"

"I would be on a slave ship somewhere, if we hadn't decided to trust him," Jinora said firmly. "He's a good man, and this is not his fault. It's not his fault that he has enemies. If anything, we should be grateful he's here, or else we'd all be held hostage without any hope."

Mr. Sono was quiet, but huffed indignantly, crossing his arms over his chest. Jinora turned the dagger over in her hands, wishing but knowing there was nothing else she could do right now, but wait.

###

It felt like hours later (but in reality, just one and a half if the clock on the wall was anything to go by) when the their door finally creaked open, and Skoochy was standing there, looking haggard.

"They're dead," he said simply. "Or, ran away. The crew's coming across the ferry now, Pabu went to get them."

Jinora scrambled to her feet. "And everyone else? Where's Kai?"

"Getting patched up in the kitchen. The other guests are…" Skoochy smiled slightly. "Well enough to complain about being hungry, anyway."

"Getting patched up?"

"Longshot will get to him soon, but Lefty and Yung know enough about first aid too. He got shot in his shin, which you saw, and stabbed in the side and got a bullet graze in his shoulder, but—"

Jinora was already marching out the door. "What are we waiting for then?" She led the way down the stairs to the kitchen.

"He was fine enough to practically push me out the door to check on everyone else," Skoochy said, following Jinora at a light jog. "Lefty had to carry him back to the table and I had to promise to get you myself."

"He always acts fine, I—" She sighed. "He's just injured?"

"Longshot just wants to disinfect it, but yeah. He'll bounce back."

"Hopefully he won't try to before he's supposed to," Jinora muttered. She rushed over to him as soon as she saw him, and Kai let her take his hand. He grit his teeth while Longshot—thank God the ferry wasn't terribly slow—inspected the wound in his side, which had mostly been cleaned.

"Hey," Kai said faintly. "S-sorry I couldn't come get you."

Jinora kissed the back of his hand. "It's okay. I don't mind coming to get you. How are you feeling?"

"A little like shit," he admitted. "But you're okay?"

"Mmhm. Didn't have to use the dagger or anything."

"Good." He pushed himself up with his uninjured arm, once Longshot had left and shooed everyone else away, wanting to give the couple some privacy. "I know you're not gonna like this, but the crew and I are gonna have to be gone for the next few days, while the APA sorts all of this out."

"The APA?" Jinora frowned. "You don't even like them."

"Pirates broke into your home and held your family, and a lot of other people, hostage. We have to make sure this never happens again, and… make sure this can't get pinned on us, either."

Jinora bit her lip. "I want to come with you."

"Jin, stay with your family. You've already been caught up this mess way more than you should have been. I'll be back, after a week, maybe, okay? Hopefully less. I'll still be taking you back to university."

Her frown lessened. "Okay. And...you won't get in trouble with the APA?"

"I don't think they like us much, but we're technically just sailors now, thanks to your dad. And even if we do get in trouble, well…" He smiled at her. "They'll have to catch us first, and they've never been able to do that before."

Jinora managed a small smile. "Good."

"I am sorry we didn't get to bring in the New Year, though." His eyes turned a little mischievous. "Last year was great."

Jinora's smile grew, and she squeezed his hand. "We've still got half an hour till midnight."

"I think it might take me the whole half hour to limp down to the ship."

"Then come up to my room."

"Really? You're going to try to seduce a guy with a bum leg?" Kai grinned.

"Excuse me, I think I'm doing better than 'try'."

"And I would love to let you succeed," he confessed, reaching up and tucking her hair behind her ears with his free hand. "And you know I don't like agreeing with Longshot, but I don't know if my body can handle that right now, considering the...great effect you have on me."

Jinora grinned, resting her forehead against his. "Fine. Can I at least wait around for a midnight kiss?"

"Of course." He closed his eyes, running his thumb over hers. "I wish I could give you more."

"Everything I need is right here." She pressed her mouth to his, suddenly aware of just how close they had come to losing each other in her home, and drew away. "I don't know how safe I'll feel without you, though. Are you sure I can't come with you? My parents can say I stayed at school or went back early, and if you trust to not be found, then can't you trust I wouldn't be as well, if I was with you?"

Kai's eyes softened, and he leaned up and kissed her more hungrily, pulling away after nipping at her bottom lip. "Ask your parents. I'll go with whatever they decide."

"Okay. And they have several vacation homes, my family could hide somewhere now that my father's not the Governor, till everything calms down…" Jinora kissed him quickly again, before letting go. "I'll be right back."

"Okay."

She returned a few minutes later to find him sitting up, an arm curved over his side, but he took her hand again when she reached him. "They said I can go," she said smiling. "I can be with you."

He smiled brightly, grinning even as she kissed him hard. He cupped the back of her head with his hand, threading his fingers through her soft hair and angling her mouth closer to his, as he revelled in the feeling of kissing her. The way he was able to, now.

"God I love you," he mumbled, lips still upturned.

"I love you too," she said softly. There was a heat behind their kisses he knew all too well, and knew they should stop, but he couldn't find it in himself to want to. Not when they were alone in her family's spare kitchen with him sitting on one of the tables that never got used anyway. Kai had eaten enough times in the actual dining room to know the difference.

He'd appreciated her dress before, of course, at the beginning of the night, with it being made of light, yellow silk in the style she had grown accustomed to wearing, revealing most of her back with his necklace at her throat, but he really loved it now, running his free hand along the curve of her bare back, his touch warm and ghosting.

"I wish I could have you right now," he murmured into her mouth.

Jinora opened her mouth to reply, but they were cut off when the door opened and most of the crew and her family walked in. Her mother was absent, but Jinora figured she was with Rohan, trying to console him after such a frightening ordeal in their very own home. The rest of the families had been offered a place to stay in the mansion and all had accepted it, not wanting to stray too far in order to give their witness statements.

"Time for us to go?" Kai asked, voice steady, like he hadn't been whispering about his desires just a few seconds ago.

"Yeah, kid," Yung confirmed. "Jinora can help you walk, if you like. Just be careful with the ice."

"Nani prepared your emergency travel bag, sweetheart," said Tenzin, holding out a purse. Jinora hoped the maid hadn't included too many outfits. She didn't mind the thought of stealing and wearing Kai's clothes for however long they had to steer clear of Air Temple Island.

"Thanks, Daddy. I'll see you soon?"

"Of course. We'll make sure security is increased in the meantime, and some APA officers are staying with us while we're in the main part of the city."

Jinora hugged him, and then draped Kai's arm around her shoulders, and helped him limp down the steps to the dock with her. Having him in such close proximity, and with such an uneven gait, made her wonder exactly when he had gotten so much taller than her? He looked far more like a man now than a teenage boy, even if he was still in the in between period.

He glanced at her, and grinned as she helped him up the ramp. "What're you looking at me like that for, Gyatso?"

"Just admiring you." She reached over with her free hand and played with a tuft of his hair. "We've really grown up, haven't we? Four years since our first kiss. We've been together for over a year and a half now."

His smile softened as she guided him below decks. "And I'm looking forward to many more years with you, and for another New Year's where things actually work out for us." He leaned in, nuzzling at the skin beside her ear, and pressed his lips to it. "Last year really was great."

Jinora naturally curled into him. "It really was, wasn't it?"

He limped out of her grip and opened the door to his room, having grabbed her small bag of things from Yung on the way down. "After you, milady."

Jinora giggled, walking through the door. She took his hand when he hobbled inside, smiling when he pulled her in for a kiss. The hour chime rang out in the distance, and she felt him smile against her mouth, only pulling away when the twelfth chime ended.

"Midnight," he murmured, and Jinora nodded. She gripped the collar of his jacket in her hands, as he had pulled it over his bandaged chest to ward off the cold.

"Now," she played with the corners of his collar, tilting her head in feigned innocence, "what was that you were saying the kitchen? Something about you wanting me?"

Kai grinned, and ran his hands up and down her arms. She hadn't pulled a coat over her light yellow dress. "Well I have to get this wonderful thing off you first, don't I?" His mouth was hungry when it touched her neck, sucking hard, and Jinora melted into his arms. One of his arms kept her cradled to him, even as his hand squeezed her breast over the thin floaty material of her dress. Jinora slid a hand down his chest and stomach, her fingers pressing against the material of his jacket, seeking out the hard curves of each muscle.

She started undoing the buttons, since his jacket was far thicker than his usual shirts and merely an obstacle in the way of getting what she wanted, and pushed it off his shoulders. He really did look beat up, with a patch of bandages around where he was grazed on his upper arm, in the opposite shoulder to the one where his first gunshot wound was. His side on the same one as his scar was bandaged far more heavily, and she ran her fingers gingerly along it.

"Did it hurt?" she murmured, feeling him suck on her pulse. She wanted it to beat in time with his.

"A little," he murmured against her skin. "But not as much as it hurts, being without you." He guided her hand to the left side of his chest, resting the back of her palm against it in between their bodies. "That's like being stabbed in the heart. When I'm with you, I can breathe."

"And when you're with me like this?" she asked softly in his ear, going back to sliding her palms over his chest and stomach and back. He was so warm under her hands, his own hands just as warm, as they held her hip and squeezed her clothed breast.

"You make me feel like I'm truly living for the first time. And when I'm inside you," he held her closer, almost painfully tight, and she pressed herself more firmly against him, "it's heaven on earth. You are so beautiful, wrapped around me. You've ruined me. No other woman could possibly compare, and I'll never be tempted away from you. Not ever... When I'm inside you, when I'm with you, I can believe in a God, and that they want me to be happy."

Tears formed in Jinora's eyes. "I love you so much," she whispered. "You're the only one I've ever wanted...the only one I'll ever want. People say that you're wrong for me, but they're the ones who are wrong, you—are the best thing in my life, the one thing that's always been right for me." She gripped his upper arms, holding him close. "And when you're inside me, I know it's where you belong, where I belong, when I'm with you."

He kissed her hard, his grip on her breast tightening, and Jinora wrapped her arms snug around him, pulling him closer to the bed. He drew away from their fierce kiss, panting and kissing her once more, before his hands started tugging down her dress, starting with the straps at her shoulders. He trailed his mouth along the curve of her smooth shoulders, as he pulled the straps down and she helped him get them to her wrists.

"I don't care if you rip it," she told him, chest flushed and heaving. "I just need you."

Kai smiled against her shoulder, kissing it softly and slowly. "It's such a lovely dress though." He started pulling it away from her chest, glad that she hadn't bothered to wear a bra. "And we might have to go a little slower than usual. You haven't seen my leg yet."

She hooked her fingers into the waistband of his pants. "It's okay. Just having you close to me, like this, is enough. I don't care how slow we go, this… it's never been about finishing with us, remember? It's about being together. Being in love." She leaned up and kissed the scar on his shoulder, trailing her lips over it. "I love you."

Kai let the rest of her dress fall away to her ankles, so she was clad in only her panties. "I love you too." She helped him take off his pants, as the task was still a little difficult with his bad leg, and she saw how well it had been bandaged up properly with Longshot, all along his left shin. He had his boxers on too, as they both stepped out of the clothes grouped around their ankles.

Jinora wrapped her arms around his torso, just touching him as he stroked her back and hair. "I love being inside you," he murmured, his hand sliding from her back to below her underwear, gripping her ass.

Jinora gave him a small smile. "I love it too," she said softly, rocking her hips into his as he squeezed her ass in rhythm. Kai started tugging down her underwear, running his other hand down her thighs and the underside of them, until they were around her ankles too, and Jinora hummed when he ran his hand back up along her inner thigh, lightly touching her crotch. He was always so warm and gentle, even behind his rougher touches.

"How do you want to make love tonight?" he asked her, drawing his hand away, resting his forehead against hers. He helped her too, in removing his boxers, closing his eyes when she tenderly stroked him for a brief moment.

"I wouldn't mind riding you," she said, releasing him. Her hands were still tender as they ran along his injuries. "If you don't think your leg will let you be on top."

"Maybe not tonight," he admitted with a light chuckle. He reached up and ran his thumb over the curve of her cheek, tucking her hair behind her ear. "But I'm willing to try. I want to give you whatever you want…"

"I want you to feel good," she cooed. "And to not hurt yourself further. I'm fine with being on top, so long as you're inside me."

Kai took her hands and tugged her towards the bed, as he sat on the side of it and onto his lap, kissing her fingers when she got a free hand and pushed him down fully onto his back.

"I don't want to aggravate any of your injuries," she told him, looking at the bandage patch on his arm. And it was nice to have him laid out like this under her, handsome and hers for the taking, knowing that she was the only one he wanted, and not just because she could feel it.

Kai leaned up anyway—he was usually so gentle with her sometimes she forget he actually was stronger with her—to kiss her. "You're worth it."

This time when Jinora pushed him down again—after thoroughly enjoying his lips for a few long minutes—Kai pulled her with him, so she was lying over his chest. Jinora had to adjust her hips so they fit more easily into his, with the new angle, but he really was warm and she liked having him this close, so she didn't want to sit up again unless she had to. His hands moved to her ass, helping her along, and then she felt him slide between her legs against her dripping entrance, and she started grinding with him. Their hips were slow and a little sloppy in rhythm, but he was snug between her legs, hard and throbbing, and that was what mattered as she kissed him and moaned into his mouth.

"You didn't disagree," Kai noted, in between kisses.

"I know we're going to hurt each other," she said, a tad hoarsely. He had gotten talented at stealing the air from her lungs. "Even if we don't mean to. We already have, but…" One of her hands traced his jaw, and she tilted his mouth back to hers. "I know we'll bring each other more happiness and love and pleasure than pain."

"Pleasure," he repeated, tasting the word once he was done tasting her mouth, one of his hands fondling her breasts, the other her ass. Her hands firmly gripped his hair, tugging sharply every time he touched her in just the right way, which was often. "Is that what we're giving each other now?"

"Mmhmm." She kissed him sloppily, and added, "I think you're about to give me a lot more of that now," and Kai's smile softened, as she laid down fully on top of him. She rested her head on his chest, her hands curling over chest, too, and she pressed kisses to his skin.

"Okay."

He ground her hips into his, using his hold on her ass as leverage, as she tilted some of her body weight off his injured side below his ribs. She rolled her hips into his best she could from the comfortable but unusual angle, sighing whenever his tip pressed firmly against her entrance, but otherwise staying quiet as she repeated her own words back to herself. This wasn't about finishing. This was about being together. And after almost losing him, that was all that mattered.

"How's your leg?" she mumbled against his neck.

"It's okay." He pressed his lips to her temple. He pulled her even closer, his grip on her skin so tight it almost hurt. "Now," he murmured, and Jinora nodded faintly, before pushing herself firmly onto his cock.

She whimpered against his skin as he entered her. "I love you so much," she mumbled against his skin.

His hand grew gentler when he squeezed her ass again, and reached up to cup one side of her face too. "I love you so much," he echoed. "I'm so glad you're alright. When Jet had the gun it was—it was like we were back in the bank all over again, only this time I loved you, and…"

She kissed him hard. "Nothing can take me away from you," she murmured. "Nothing."

His lips softened against hers. "I wish that was true."

Jinora shushed him, pressing her hips more firmly into his. "Take me," she said, "as many times as you can tonight. Like you did the last time we were in my apartment. Please."

Kai nodded, pressing his open mouth to hers again, holding her close as they moved together. Jinora came with a soft cry and a shudder, and Kai followed her over the edge her shortly afterwards. Jinora draped herself fully over him, stroking his muscles with her hands as they exchanged soft kisses.

"I'm proud of you," she said softly.

"For what?"

"For not blaming yourself for what happened tonight." She turned her head and rested her chin on his chest, as she looked at him. "Do you blame yourself?"

He gave her a small smile. "Not really, I—I'm trying to keep in mind what Dr. Aput said. That other people trying to hurt me isn't my fault. It still...sucks, that everyone else got caught up in the crossfire, but I didn't even know Jet hated me enough to do something like this. I—it's not my fault. I think I can believe that."

Jinora smiled softly. "Good. You've been sending him letters?"

"Yeah. They're not the same as sessions, but," Kai shrugged, "they're good enough, and… so am I, I guess."

Her smile grew as she kissed him. "Yes you are. Anything else you want to talk about?"

"Your dad came to talk to me, the day before yesterday."

"He did? About what?"

"Mostly that he's proud of me, and stuff. And options, I have. You know, for land based work. When you and I are, y'know, ready." His eyes grew more serious. "I told him I want to take down Quil."

Jinora swallowed. "That sounds dangerous."

"It is. But...I need to know that somehow, the slave trade will never be able to grow the way it has under Quil ever again. If that's the last thing I do on sea, then... I don't know, I'll have felt like it was all worth something, I guess. For my mom."

"I wish I could have met her," Jinora said softly, brushing his hair off his forehead.

"I wish I could have too," he confessed, his throat growing tight. "But—I know she would have loved you."

Jinora gave him a small, slightly amused smile. "How?"

"Because anyone with a soul loves you."

Jinora laughed softly, rested her forehead against his. "Then you know how I feel about you."

He chuckled, kissing her briefly. "Is there anything you want to talk about?"

"Not really, but…" her brow furrowed. "Don't you think Lee was acting a little strange tonight? Even before the break-in?"

"Was he?"

"He just seemed distracted, and he kept looking at us, and…" She frowned. "Do you think he still has feelings for me?"

Kai blinked. "I don't think so?"

"I hope not, I just…" She sighed. "Maybe I'm paranoid, after everything that happened."

"It's okay." He stroked his thumb over her cheek. "And I think everything's okay. Last time I talked to him in the summer, he said he was over you. Maybe he was just nervous that something was wrong? He could have picked up on the signals I was missing."

She smiled slightly. "As long as he's okay. I'm glad everyone's okay." She pressed a kiss to the bridge of his nose. "Thank you."

"Of course. Is there anything else going on in that brilliant brain of yours?"

"Beyond how wonderful you are?" She giggled when he kissed her, his own lips split in a wide grin. She melted into him as he softened the kiss, and he gently rolled them over onto their sides.

"I love you, Jinora Gyatso," he murmured into her hair.

"I love you too, Kai Tashi." She smiled. "Can I change my mind?"

"About what?"

"About making love all night. I'm feeling kind of sleepy."

"Well," Kai drawled, coaxing another giggle out of her, "I really did have my heart set on it, but I guess I can make do." He kissed her cheek. "I'm feeling pretty tired too. Maybe we can have another round if we both wake up at the same time?"

Jinora nodded. "Besides, it'll give your leg time to heal a little more."

"Ah, my health. Always your first concern," he teased half heartedly, and she wrinkled her nose at him. "I know, I know, you actually do care a lot."

"Good." She snuggled closer to him. "Now shush. I want to fall asleep."

Kai smiled, burying his face in her hair. "Goodnight, Jinora."

Jinora let out a soft yawn, curling into him. "Goodnight, Kai."

###

Lee hadn't set out to lose his virginity, when he had started drinking with Shen Shen in one of the spare guest rooms once the Waterbender had left. They'd been placed right across the hall from each other and he'd offered her the bottle of wine he'd brought to give the Gyatsos, and he hadn't even been very drunk at all when they'd started kissing. He'd never kissed anyone but Jinora, and hadn't thought about kissing anyone but Kai for the past few months, but kissing Shen Shen was nice, and she tasted like strawberry lip balm. And then she'd pushed him onto the bed, and he hadn't stopped her.

He was still struggling to catch his breath after they were done, too drunk to fully wrap his mind around the fact that Shen Shen was bare and just as winded beside him, but not drunk enough to bank on forgetting about it in the morning. He turned his head to glance at her; she had her hair both messy and tied up into a loose bun, two things he'd never seen from her, and her lipstick was slightly smeared.

"Well," she said, a bit throatily, "you lasted longer than I expected."

Lee let out a soft snort. "I'm a virgin, what did you expect?" And then the panic set in. "Oh God I _was_ a virgin—"

"Relax," Shen Shen said, turning over to face him. "No one will ever know, and now you'll have some experience for the next time you do it, or whatever."

"How can you be so nonchalant about this?"

"You're not the first time I've taken someone's virginity."

"I mean I figured, but—"

"It's really not that big of a deal, once you get over the initial shock. Virginity is just a societal construct anyway." She blinked at him. "You're the same person, right? You still think the same things, and feel the same?"

"I mean...I guess—"

"Then it's nothing to worry your pretty little head over." She checked her nails. "I mean, you still love Kai, don't you?"

"I don't love him—I just… oh God do I love him?" Lee put his head in his hands.

Shen Shen rolled her eyes, and then put a hand on his shoulder. "Look, Lee, I'm not going to tell you that you have to tell Kai, or whatever, but you have got to figure this out. And by figure it out, I mean learn how to live your life and not let it bog you down. You're a good guy, and a pretty good kisser. You'll be fine. I promise."

Lee took a deep breath. "Alright. Thanks, Shen." He slowly glanced up at her—she really was pretty, with her hair falling out of its bun and around her face like that. "How do you deal with it?"

"I find distractions, mostly. Shopping, business, flirting. Other boys and girls."

"Like me?"

She smiled. "No, not like you. You're my friend, remember?"

"And now?"

"We're still friends. Why wouldn't we be?"

"No, I mean—" he huffed. "Do you want me to court you, or something?"

Shen Shen blinked in surprise, then let out a snort. "What? No, you don't have to—" She burst into a fit of giggles. "Do you _want_ to court me?"

"I dunno. Maybe."

She stopped laughing, her smile melting away. "Why would you want to court me?"

"It'd be a good match for both of our families. We get along. Why not?"

"And then what? We get married or something? You're really a romantic, Sono."

"I—I just thought—" He huffed again.

"I...appreciate the thought, but if you're going to court any of your friends, and if you want to piss off your parents… court Pfannee. You could bring her back into high society, that way. I know she misses it. Or, misses the financial security of it."

"But...but you love her."

"And I can't really do much except give her as much as I can without raising my own family's suspicions," Shen Shen said, a little impatiently. "She could have a big home with you, and Lee Wen could have a better father figure in his life. You'd make a good father."

"I…" Lee ran a hand through his hair. "It's just...she's kind of like a sister to me, so it'd be—"

"You wouldn't have to have a child with her. She's already got one, and she's scorned enough by our crowd. Not having a child with you wouldn't really do much more to damage her reputation. Besides, she'd be...safe. Secure."

"Why can't you marry her?"

Shen Shen flushed, and turned away. "I'm supposed to marry some wealthy businessman or son of a businessman, and I'm just fine putting it off as long as I want. If I ever do meet one that isn't an arrogant prick, once Pfannee's already taken care of, then maybe, but…" Her voice went quiet. "I'm not even sure she'd want me to marry her."

"You'll never know if you don't ask."

Shen Shen snorted. "If I don't expect you to tell Kai about your little crush, I'm not telling Pfannee about my feelings."

"Fine, fine." Lee dragged a hand down his face. "Why does life have to be so complicated?"

"Someone upstairs has a messed up sense of humour?" Shen Shen suggested, studying him. She reached over and fixed his dark hair that was uncharacteristically messy. "So, are you going to court her or not?"

Lee hesitated. "I'll think about it," he said slowly. "She has to be onboard with it too, after all, and I don't think she'll like the idea very much. She won't want pity."

"She's never been pitied before in her life. She might appreciate it." Lee shot her a look, and Shen Shen held up her hands. "Fine, fine, whatever." She sighed and ran a hand through her silky hair. "Wanna fuck again, while we're here?"

The whole situation was so absurd Lee didn't really know what to say except, "Might as well." This was what his life had come to, after all. Even if despite the absurdity of it all, he couldn't quite say he regretted any of it.

Shen Shen pouted, pushing herself up into a sitting position as she went to straddle his waist. "Nice to see your enthusiasm," she said dryly, and then leaned in to kiss him. Her lips were warm and smooth like oil.

After all, there really were far worse ways to spend the new year, and far worse people to spend it with.


	18. The Test

**a/n:** as always, just another step in the grand plan, enjoy

* * *

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: The Test

Life went on, like always. Kai treasured his weeks with Jinora (bringing her back to school, and then back home after end of year exams) and stopped by Republic City as much as he could during her summer at home, in between freeing slave ships. He and the crew took a detour to go visit Appa's sister and nephew, as the latter had fallen ill, and then rounded back up for trading ventures while writing letters to his girlfriend.

Jinora had aced her exams, of course ( _like I knew you would,_ he wrote, once she had told him in her most recent letter) and attended her friends' Yin and Malae's wedding, which was a nice simple ceremony. Kai hadn't been able to figure out who had paid off the Freedom Fighters to attack them at New Year's, but at least if it was the Chows, they hadn't been able to pass stricter anti-pirate regulations in the city as a result. The APA wasn't easy on them, but still left them alone these days, and when they weren't freeing slave ships, they were working as freelance merchants, shipping between various markets.

It was a surprisingly peaceful life most of the time, and one Kai never would have pictured for himself.

Jinora was enjoying the start of her second year as much as she had enjoyed her first, judging by her letters, if not more, as she had switched apartments, finding something closer to the river and a small local library that was still affiliated and in partnership with the university. It was run by a kind elderly couple named Tullik and and Aika, and had no problem with Jinora studying there as late as she wanted.

It was halfway through November (already studying for her midterm exams and wishing there was another chance to see Kai before the end of the year) when they offered her a job.

"Me?" she repeated, looking up from her history textbook. She had never worked anywhere in her life.

"Why not?" said Tullik, with a twinkle in his green eyes, his laugh lines wrinkling as he smiled. "You spend enough here time as is."

"That, and you have very good taste," chimed in Aika from where she was dusting the counter. It turned out they both loved the same book, The Red String. "Our daughters used to help us, but…" she shrugged her bony shoulders. "We could use a bit of help around here, of course, you're welcome to keep studying here if you say no."

A real job. Jinora chewed on her bottom lip. Well, she wanted to be a teacher, and that was a job, wasn't it? And if she and Kai had a future, she'd have to get used to working. He'd always be too restless to fully be in her world, and to be honest, she would be too.

Jinora smiled. "I'd be happy to help."

###

Winter was always colder in Republic City, oddly enough, Kai had found. He was glad the Gyatsos kept the mansion warm every Spirit's Festival and New Years (not that he and Jinora had trouble warming each other up, too). And it was nice to have a break from hunting down slavers and trying to find records of who had paid off Jet, in addition to looking for his own birth records. He knew the orphanage in Geishou had been shut down years ago, so the papers had probably been filed somewhere else, although with Omashu's mail system, who knew? It was Otaku's latest hobby, anyhow, beyond helping Yung throw him a secret little surprise party for his fourteenth anniversary on the ship, and technical twenty first birthday.

Every time he walked back onto the Waterbender to leave (whether the island, or just Jinora), it got a little bit harder and easier, too.

He wondered if it would ever be just one.

###

It was close to midnight on the day before Jinora's birthday in mid April, when there was a knock at her door. She got up from where she was taking notes at her couch, stacks of books from Tullik and Aika's shop around her—the couple let her take out as many as she needed from the Yeshe Library, as part of her payment—and opened the door.

"Kai?"

Her boyfriend was standing in the doorway, beaming at her. "I know you said never to surprise you," he grinned roguishly, "but I couldn't just send a letter for your twentieth birthday, now could I?"

Jinora was staring at him wide eyed, before she let out a little squeal and threw her arms around him, kissing him full on the mouth. He held her close, smiling into their kiss, still beaming when Jinora pulled away.

"You're ridiculous," she said, smiling widely as she cupped his cheeks. "God I need to have sex with you right now—come on—" She shut the door behind him and then led him to her bedroom by the hand, and impatiently removed his clothes. He was smirking against her mouth as she kissed him hard, cupping her breasts before removing her blouse altogether, but she stopped him before he could reach for her skirt. "You, first," she told him, grabbing his hips and moving to her knees.

"Jin," he groaned quietly when he realized her intentions, and dragged his hand through her hair, gripping tightly.

She shushed him. "Thank you for coming all this way, baby," she murmured, letting her breath ghost his inner thigh. "And thank you for letting me do this, again." And she put her mouth on his cock. He shivered as she sucked hard, slowly moving her head so a bit of him slipped out before she took him in all the way again, her hands firm on his thighs. She ran her tongue over the sensitive tip, pressing a kiss to the underside as it trembled, before running her tongue all the way back up to his tip before taking him into her mouth again.

"Fuck, Jin," he groaned, looking down at her and watching the way her lips were stretched around him. He managed not to come until she had released him, even if he did spill onto her chest only seconds later, in the middle of her collarbone, and it dripped down between her breasts. She ran a finger along the trail his cum had left down her collarbone, then licked it off her fingertip as she looked up at him.

Kai was still shaking, but pulled her firmly up to his level, his mouth latching onto her chest and licking the rest away, kissing her skin as his hands squeezed her ass and pulled down her skirt and panties. He'd need a little while before he could be inside her, but there was plenty he could do until then to pay back the favour.

Jinora curved her body into his, her breath growing ragged and his already far gone as he kissed her chest and then pushed her onto the bed. He captured her lips, crushing them, before drawing away and trailing his mouth down the trail his cum had left, some residue still on her skin, and then down her stomach. He nipped at the soft skin just below her navel, before burying his face between her legs, his tongue flattening against her clit. She was as wet as he remembered, and he licked greedily, drinking from between her legs and her thighs quivered around him, as he held her hips tight so she wouldn't squirm too much.

Jinora rocked her hips into his face and his wonderful, treacherous mouth as he slid his tongue inside her in languid licks against her slick walls. He swirled it and hit just the right spots and sensitivities, occasionally surfacing to lick and suck at her soft and swollen clit as Jinora moaned loudly. She tangled her fingers in his hair, tugging hard as she gasped and moaned his name.

He withdrew his tongue so she clenched around nothing, instead sucking hard on her tender folds and clit as she rode out her orgasm, and felt himself grow hard at the sight of her, naked and writhing for him.

Slowly, he withdrew his head, making his way back up to her and kissing her deeply, and Jinora gladly returned it, their mouths wet and obscene and sloppy. "God I missed you," she moaned, voice fast and desperate, still gripping his hair. "Baby fuck me please—"

He grabbed her hips and slid into her fast and hard, thrusting into her at a far faster pace than their usual. Jinora clung to him, her mouth slipping against his as they moved together frantically, her bed creaking under them. He fucked her like his life depended on it, slipping all the way out only to ram himself back in at a breakneck speed. She was so slick and sensitive and he was so wonderfully hard—her toes curled as he rutted her and kneaded her breasts and her nails drew lines into his back. She moaned in his ear with every thrust, nearly screaming when she finally came in an overwhelming wave of pleasure that made tears prick at her eyes, as she clenched viciously hard around him. Kai didn't break pace, still pounding into her the second she loosened her grip enough on him to do so, and spilled deep inside her, hot and thick and overflowing.

Jinora was trembling and panting when their hips went still, and their gazes locked. They had never been that filthy, or that passionate, and her eyes widened as she looked at him and he looked at her, trembling and panting as much as she was.

"God," Jinora breathed, and Kai kissed her in response.

"I guess that's what a surprise visit and four months apart will do to us," he murmured, and she melted against his lips.

"I love you so much," she whispered, speaking in between kisses. "But why on earth did you come all this way?"

"I couldn't just come because it's your birthday?" She pulled away and arched her eyebrows, and he relented. "Fine, we had a very expensive piece of cargo to deliver here in the city—and got paid very well for it—but I made everything line up with our schedule and mostly took the job so I could be here with you for this. Better?"

"More believable," she corrected, and then pressed her lips to his again. "Mm, I missed you."

"I missed you too." He tangled one had in her hair, but then pulled away from her lips, resting his forehead against hers. "C'mon, I want to give you your present."

"Present?"

"What, you didn't think it was only me coming here, did you?"

"That would have been enough," Jinora said, but she smiled as he got up, gently tugging her up with him.

He picked up the small bag he'd brought with him, mostly shirts and some pants with a few toiletries, and then held out a small box to her. "I made it myself, although I think I've improved since I made your last necklace."

Jinora smiled at him, and directed her gaze downwards to the box, and opened it. It held a beautiful necklace made of thin silver, with a ring hanging from the middle. In the dark she could make out some kind of inscription, and held it up. There was a little anchor carved into it, and on either side were two short lines of calligraphy. It read _Always Yours_.

"It's a promise ring," Kai said, rubbing his neck when she stayed silent. "Promise necklace? It means that—well, you're the one for me." The tips of his ears turned red. "If it's too much, you don't have to—"

Jinora wrapped her arms around him and kissed him firmly, tenderly, holding him close as he wrapped his arms around her waist. "I love it," she murmured. "Thank you, I—I'm always yours, too."

Kai smiled softly, resting his forehead against hers. "I love hearing you say that."

Jinora pulled away slightly, holding up the necklace. "Help me put it on?" She turned around as he looped it around her neck and did up the clasp, pressing his lips to the nape of her neck.

"There," he breathed, his breath hot, and Jinora felt herself hunger for him again.

"Kai," she murmured, turning back to look at him. "I want…" She stepped closer, taking his hands. "Make love to me again. While I'm only wearing this."

He smirked. "You weren't wearing anything before."

"Don't ruin the moment you—" she quieted under his lips, as he grabbed at her hips again.

"Just as filthy?" he purred, eyes alight. She grinned against his mouth.

"Just as filthy."

He picked her up and she wrapped her thighs around his hips. "What are we waiting for, then?"

###

The trouble started when Kai sailed to the Wujin Sea. It wasn't called the Endless Sea for nothing, stretching between the west coast of the Fire Nation and the east coast of the Earth Kingdom for miles and miles, and Kai gave her a warning that _My letters might take a little longer to reach you,_ but it didn't make her feel any better when biweekly letters turned into once a month, and then none. She tried to remind herself that they were coming, that this wasn't like the last time he had seemingly stopped, that he was doing well and he was coming back and he wasn't going to leave her.

It was the week before finals that she finally received some letters—several letters, so many that they had all been crammed into her mailbox—and she broke down in tears. She cradled them to her heart, before sorting them out by date, determined to read all of them. The first three were dated within a few days of each other a month and a half ago, a week past the time she should have gotten a reply, with more following on a sporadic schedule. But she could tell from the dates and the fact the most recent—only four days ago—had arrived on time meant that he was coming back to the Gold Coast. She felt guilty for sending her panicked letters to him now, and then angry that she felt guilty, her stomach churning when she thought of how much some of her words might hurt him, when he realized how worried she'd been. How stupid she'd been.

Jinora wiped at her cheeks and opened the first letter.

 _My dearest, Jinora,_

 _The crew and I got a lead on an important undercover part of Quil's operation in the Wujin Sea. The last thing I want to do is sail further away from you but it looks like we'll have no choice. We even have to go undercover ourselves on the island but I hope I won't have to do anything too drastic to get the information we need. Some of Quil's most important partners on this island are here, and apparently, surprisingly, some of them are women. I didn't think he valued them enough to give them positions of leadership, but… I guess greed comes in all shapes._

 _I hope you're doing well, and I know that you're probably still at the top of your class. I don't know how soon these next few letters will get to you, but here's hoping you get this one soon. I love you so much._

 _Always yours,_

 _Kai_

Jinora tore into the next letter, as he stressed the importance of the information they were getting, their arrival on the island, descriptions of some of the inhabitants, some surely beautiful women who had come onto him, and she read between the lines, growing irritable, and then getting angry at herself for getting jealous. Because she wasn't a jealous person, at all. She had never cared about any of her friends spending one on one time with Kai and she trusted all of them, even Shen Shen, to not do anything that would hurt her, already knowing that Kai never would.

And she trusted Kai, of course. Of course she did. Even if his lifestyle of constantly moving and being consistently charming gave him all the possible opportunities a person could ever want to cheat on their partner and get away with it. She did, really. He wasn't like the pirates she grew up hearing about. He would never be unfaithful to her. He loved her. He had basically promised to marry her, someday. And why would he send so many letters consistently if he was being unfaithful?

She took a deep breath. She was being silly and emotional and far too paranoid. Her boyfriend was the most honest person she'd ever met and he had never lied to her, and he loved her.

She picked up the next letter, and at the very least, there wasn't any mention of the beautiful women he'd had to talk to. Instead, he wrote of how much she would love some of the flowers there.

It'd be okay. They would be okay.

###

Jinora had been twelve years old when she had decided high society life wasn't all it had been cracked up to be. It hadn't been when she was kicked off the fencing team for being unladylike, or begun taking lessons with Governess Manirak. It hadn't been when she'd been banned from taking the first political class her elementary school had offered, or when she'd realized the likelihood that marrying Lee Sono was one of the best options for a future that wasn't miserable.

It had been when a miserable future was staring her right in the face, in the form of Mrs. Chan. Mrs. Chan probably had been beautiful once, with dark bright eyes that had turned dull, and graying black hair. She was the wife of one of her father's rival campaigners, one whom her father had beaten for mayor in their youth. She could still remember attending one of the first parties she'd been able to attend as a young lady instead of a child, full of pride and wide eyed when she saw Mrs. Chan. She'd been standing next to her husband in a fine purple dress, blank faced and quietly sipping a glass of strong wine without saying a word.

Her husband's newest secretary—much younger, pretty, and hanging off Mr. Chan's arm—had made the affair she and Mr. Chan were having no secret. Even Jinora could tell, at twelve years old, that Mrs. Chan knew her husband was cheating on her, and just didn't care. A few months later Jinora had seen the Chans again—Mr. Chan had a new secretary, still flirtatious, Mrs. Chan as stone faced as ever. There were rumours the previous secretary had been fired for getting pregnant.

In that moment, Jinora had vowed she would never, ever, let herself lead as miserable a life as Mrs. Chan. She would never let herself be trapped like that. And maybe that would have been Pfannee too, if her baby's father had been willing to marry her.

Maybe that would be her, if Kai got her pregnant and freaked out and left. Not that he would, ever, but he had left before, hadn't he? Or just left her and her reputation in shambles, if it ever got out she had slept with him. And her heart would break too, if he left her again.

He had to stay. He had to.

###

He was two days late.

He'd never been late before, even when he'd warned her that he might be late. But this time, she hadn't even gotten a warning. Jinora stewed her room, having packed and then unpacked and then packed all over again, anxious and needing something to get her mind off things, but she couldn't focus on books and getting herself off made her think too much of him.

So she went to the library.

"Something bothering you, sweetheart?" Aika asked, when she walked in the door.

Jinora tried for a smile. "Nothing. Just...wanted to be in a quiet space, I suppose."

"Would you like some tea? I just was about to put some on in the back room." Jinora nodded, and the old woman gave her a sympathetic smile, before waddling off to the backroom of the small library.

Jinora gave Aika a grateful look when she handed her a cup of her favourite tea, and poured over some books that hopefully wouldn't make her think of Kai—and indeed didn't—until she looked up and saw grey clouds hovering overhead outside the window. It didn't look like rain exactly, but she didn't want to take any chances, and hugged the old woman goodbye before leaving and going back to her apartment.

She walked up the steps to her floor as she stowed away her umbrella under her arm, pausing when she saw that the lock wasn't turned the right way. She hesitated, and then crept to her door, and pushed it open, and found Kai looking through her desk drawers.

"What the hell are you doing?" she snapped. First he'd been late, and now he'd broken into her apartment and was snooping through her things?

He looked up, relief flooding his expression. "Jin. Where were you? I knocked and no one answered, and then I came in and you weren't here—"

"You broke in."

"I thought you wouldn't mind—"

"You were late, and then _you broke in_ , how could I not mind—"

"I had to make sure you were okay, I thought maybe you couldn't hear me knocking because you were in the bathroom, or something, so I knocked again three times every five minutes and I asked your neighbours and they said they hadn't seen you and—look I'm sorry—"

"Sorry isn't good enough!"

"I didn't know we'd get held up!" Kai took a breath. "Jin, why weren't you here?"

"You weren't here! You were two days late! I went somewhere that would calm me down, since I didn't even have a warning—"

"Next time, please leave me a note—"

"Or next time, you could actually write me, but oh no, I'm sorry, I forgot that my life is supposed to revolve around waiting for you to show up! You and your stupid fucking late letters you asshole!"

Kai's jaw clenched. "Are you seriously—I sent those as soon as I wrote them, sorry I can't control the fucking postal system—"

"You keep sailing so far away that I can't even write to you—"

"I'm trying, I came as soon as I could, I don't need you to yell at me—"

Jinora let out a frustrated groan and shoved him in the chest, pausing when he recoiled, his hand leaping to his left side. "You got hurt," she realized. "You are hurt." She walked up to him, pulling his shirt up before he pushed it back down. "Kai, what happened?"

"Nothing important—"

"Kai." She placed her hand on his forearm. "Please."

"A slaver named Koh came after us and stabbed me...pretty close to the heart. We had to make a detour to pick up some potions from a sea witch, just to make sure I'd recover, or at least that's what the crew said. That's why we were late, and I was...passed out at the time, so I couldn't write you." His lips thinned. " _Now would you please_ tell me where you were and that you were safe so next time I don't have to pick your lock?"

"I just went to the library I work at," she mumbled.

"The one owned by the old couple? On Yeshe Street?"

Jinora nodded. "I got scared when the letters stopped coming," she confessed quietly. "It felt—it felt like before and your letters kept mentioning women and I just—"

Hurt flashed across Kai's face. "You think I'd betray you like that?"

"No, I—I knew it was stupid but I was worried that you—that you wouldn't come back, I tried to tell myself the letters were just late but last time—and I know it's not your fault but last time they stopped coming without warning too and I didn't know how far you were sailing out so I just—I know I was wrong. I'm sorry."

"Jin…" Kai stepped closer to her, taking her hands. "Haven't I already said that I'll always come back to you?"

"You said that before you left, too." Her breathing hitched.

"Then you have to trust me that this time won't be like that." He let go of one of her hands, and took the promise ring dangling off her necklace instead, pressing it to his lips. "Okay? Just trust me."

Jinora's throat tightened, and she nodded. "Okay. I trust you." She sniffled hard, and let go of his hand. "I'm sorry for shoving you, I—" She looked around at her packed luggage. "Can we please just go now?"

Kai was still frowning, but his eyes softened as he nodded, and picked up a piece of luggage in each hand, instead of holding two in one so his free hand could hold hers. "Come on. Let's go."

###

Jinora had hardly felt so miserable on the Waterbender before. She knew most of it was self inflicted, her own paranoia and jealousy getting to her and creating the mess she was in now, but still. It was awful and Kai had hardly ever been so distant. Usually when they had fought badly in the past they had just flat out ignored each other, but having to be around him while he was polite to her, stiffly so, somehow hurt even more (even if she knew that wasn't his intention).

She went to bed first, curling up with a book, and looking up when he came in after discussing financials with Otaku in his study. She wanted to say something—probably _I'm sorry_ would be wise, and truthful—but all the words possible got lodged in her throat, so nothing came out. Kai caught her eye, and then turned away as he took off his sword belt and hung it up on the wall.

"So," he said sullenly, slowly turning towards her, "we're really not going to talk about today?"

Jinora set down her book, sighing. "I'm sorry—"

"Sorry isn't enough, Jin. If… if you don't trust me then what are we even doing?"

"I _do_ trust you. I just…" She glanced at her hands, folded in her lap.

"Then why can't you act like it?"

"I do—"

"Yeah, when I'm around. I can't always stay, Jinora. We can't do this—we can't make this work if you don't trust me when I'm not by your side. You didn't see me acting like this when it was clear you and Lee liked each other, or even when you were together, I kept to myself. And I want—I want you to tell me these things before they blow up otherwise—otherwise we're gonna sink. I want this to work, but I can only do so much if you don't trust me. And I know this didn't just come out of nowhere, so where did it come from? I need to know, Jinora."

"I...I don't know what'll...happen to me, if you leave."

He studied her. "What do you mean?" he asked cautiously.

"I just…" She sighed. "A lot of...a lot of men, in my crowd, they...they can get bored, of their wives. My father's one of the few exceptions, but… In the back of my head, I've always been afraid of… of depending on someone too much, on someone who doesn't need me as much as I need them." Her voice wobbled. "And you used to, but you don't now, and I'm happy for you and I'm proud of you but I'm also—I'm also scared for myself. That you'll stop needing me, and get bored, and—and I've already thrown my reputation away and I don't think I'll ever be able to love someone like I love you so if you leave then—then what's left for me?"

"You think I'd leave?"

"No, I…" Jinora blinked rapidly. "I'd understand if you did, I guess. You're always traveling and meeting...people that are probably more interesting than me, I just…" She quickly wiped away a tear. "I'm sorry."

"Hey." Kai sat down next to her. "I meant it, when I said always, okay?" He reached for her hand, and she took it, almost smiling when he squeezed it gently. "I'm always yours. Every time I write that, and say it, I mean it. I mean it so much that I got it engraved, into a promise you can touch. Every time I say it, I know I'll never be able to say it enough to show how true it is. Even if it was the only thing I said for the rest of my life… You are not boring, and I love you."

Jinora's bottom lip trembled, and she burst into tears, crying harder when Kai pulled her into his arms. "I'm so sorry," she croaked, but Kai gently shushed her.

"I forgive you," he said softly. "It's okay—"

"It's just—I know how other women look at you and they're right there and I'm all the way over here and I know you wouldn't but I still can't—I'm sorry—I'm trying—"

Kai held her close, gently stroking her hair. "You know, when I first saw you in the bank, almost five years ago… I thought you were perfect. And then you talked to me, and I still thought you were perfect." He smiled softly. "But you're not. And I'm not. And it's okay. It's taken me a long time to accept it—and I still am—but… You've never given up on me. You've never let me go." He took her hands, pressing a kiss to the back of them. "So I'm never giving up on you. I'm never giving up on us. Okay? We can work on building our trust. You don't have to do it alone."

"I love you," she said shakily.

"I love you too." She leaned up and kissed him hard, and he knew what she wanted, even as he pulled away. "Now's not the time, Jin."

"But—"

"You just said you were worried about your reputation. Having more sex isn't going to fix that, and…" He wiped her tears away with his thumb. "I always want this to be something good for us… do you regret, sleeping with me?"

"No."

Kai's brow furrowed. "Then your reputation…?"

"It's...complicated, I guess. But I don't regret being with you, and sleeping with you, but at the same time—it's hard for me to reject everything I grew up hearing. Especially when I'm still trying to exist in the high society world, even if it's in an unconventional way."

"I think I get that. On a smaller level."

She looked at him with wide eyes. "You do?"

"Yeah. Sometimes I have to remind myself that APA officers really don't have a reason to arrest me. Or that we don't steal anymore, or pickpocket. And we don't have to worry about money the same way we used to, and...that I have a family outside of the crew, now. I know those things are more positive and your things are more negative, but—we're both still adjusting. It's not going to be easy, but… I know it can be worthwhile."

She smiled slightly. "Yeah." She looked down at her lap again, folding her hands. "We...if you don't think we should sleep together for a while, or at least for now, that's okay."

"Do you think not sleeping together would help?"

"It might," she admitted. "I don't know."

Kai took her hands and squeezed them. "Okay. Why don't we give it a try, and then when maybe a week's gone by we can talk about it more and see if it's helping or hurting?"

Jinora nodded. "Okay. But we can still sleep in the same bed?"

He smiled. "If you want."

"Good." Jinora rested her head on his shoulder. "Can I see your injury?" He nodded and she helped him take off his shirt, her eyes taking in the sight of the bandages wrapped around the left side of his chest. "How close did it come? To killing you?" she whispered.

"A little close," he said, "but not much. My leg wound was worse. And besides, my heart isn't there anyway."

She wrinkled her nose. "It's not?"

"No." He held her hand, and guided the back of it to her left breast. "It's here."

Tears pricked at her eyes, but she was happy this time, if overwhelmed. "Wanna guess where mine is?"

He smiled. "Show me."

She placed her free hand over his chest, her fingers careful against his bandages. "I love you. I trust you."

"I love you too." He squeezed her hand. "Thank you." He kissed her chastely, and then pulled away. "I'm going to finish getting ready for bed, and then I'll join you, okay?"

"Okay." She pressed another kiss to his cheek before he got up, smiling up at him as he headed into his tiny bathroom.

She didn't know what she had done to deserve him, but for tonight, she was content not to question it.

###

It was four days into their test when, on the fifth night, Jinora woke up to Kai thrashing beside her. "Kai?" she said groggily, but he didn't respond, trembling and groaning as he thrashed about in their sheets. "Kai!" Jinora grabbed his shoulders. "Kai, please, wake up!"

Kai gasped sharply as he shot up, nearly bumping into her, his face ashen and his eyes wide as he looked around frantically. He looked up into Jinora's face, and his shoulders sagged, still shaking. He dragged a hand down his face, taking shuddering breaths.

She swallowed, and then rested her hand in between his shoulder blades and started rubbing circles into his skin. "Nightmare?" she said softly. Kai nodded, then sank into her, his head sagging against her shoulder.

"'M sorry I woke you," he mumbled.

"It's okay." She cupped his face with her other hand, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. "You're okay. I promise."

Kai wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her tight, and he buried his face in the crook of her neck. "It's not usually this bad… most of the time when they come—if you're here I don't wake you and I can just go back to sleep—"

"Why didn't you tell me whenever you had nightmares?" she asked, carding a hand through his hair.

"I knew you wouldn't always...be around. I had to be able to deal with it on my own. And—they didn't happen often at school once we were together, but just having you there when I woke up made me remember that I was safe, and that was enough."

"I'm here now," she murmured. She pressed a kiss to his temple. "Is there anything I can do? Do you want to talk about it?"

Kai shook his head, curling further into her. "I just need to go...count the crew. Make sure they're all okay. Do you—will you come with me?"

"Of course I will." She gave him a soft smile as he pulled away, still holding onto her hand when they got out of bed, dressed in sleep pants and one of his shirts. They crept into the bunkers as quietly as possible, careful to close the door gently behind them. The assorted snores of the crew created a low, comfortable buzz over the entire room, and Jinora saw Kai's shoulders relax a little.

They padded gently up the aisle way, and Kai counted each crew member under his breath while Jinora kept her fingers firmly laced through his, as they walked back up and did the same in the other half of the sleeping quarters, before finally ending up in front of the captain's quarters, again.

"Next time you have a nightmare," Jinora said, opening up his door and tugging him into bed. "Wake me up and tell me, even if I'm still sleeping."

"Are you sure?"

Jinora nodded. "I want to know, every time. It's not a bother, or a burden." She played with his hair. "I love y—"

He kissed her, open mouthed and with a lack of control she hadn't seen since they'd made their pact now almost five days ago. Jinora tangled her fingers in his hair, kissing him back just as desperately, shifting into his lap to get closer. Kai laid her down with his weight on top of hers, still kissing her like she was the air he needed to breathe.

"We said we wouldn't," he choked out, ripping his lips away from hers, even as his hands ran up and down his thighs.

Jinora cupped his jaw. "It's okay." She pressed her lips to the corner of his jaw, his stubble gently scratching her chin. "It's okay."

Kai took a shaky breath, and then kissed her again, his hands moving and pulling down his pants to his knees. Jinora rested her chin on his shoulder, sighing when he entered her and began to thrust, deep and hard with an erratic rhythm. She let out soft moans in his ear as he groaned, gripping her hips so tightly his fingers were sure to leave bruises, and she pressed kisses to the crook of his neck.

"It's okay," she murmured, running her fingers over the nape of his neck, as his breath grew ragged in her ear. His hips jerked and he held her tighter. "It's okay."

"Jin," he groaned, but she shushed him gently, sighing into his mouth when he kissed her.

He came first, spilling into her in a rush of warmth with one last jerk of his hips, and luckily it was enough to get her off, as she clenched around, feeling him drip inside her. Kai buried his face in her neck, even once he had pulled out of her, and just laid on top of her instead. She gently stroked the nape of his neck, closing her eyes as she felt him breathe.

"Better?" she whispered, and he nodded, his chin brushing her collarbone. She ran a hand through his hair, too, kissing his crown. "Get some sleep, love. I'm here if you need me."

Kai shifted off of her, but pulled her into his side, an arm wrapped securely around her waist. He nuzzled into her neck and she kept playing with his hair until she felt his breathing even out again, and gently wiped at his cheeks until she slowly fell asleep too.

Maybe he did depend on her after all.

###

Kai woke up with sunlight peeking out from underneath his porthole curtain, and remembered. It wasn't hard to figure out, when he realized his pants had been drawn up around his hips, but were undone, and he internally cursed himself. Why had a nightmare been the thing to break up when the past few days had been fine (if a little sexually frustrating at knowing he couldn't touch her even if he wanted and was allowed to) and worse still, he had woken her up. What if he had hit her in his sleep? What if he had hurt her?

"Hey." Her lips found the crease forming in his brow, her voice mellow, if a little concerned and amused. "What are you worrying about now?"

"I shouldn't have done that," he said quietly.

"Done what?"

He pulled away reluctantly, sitting up to face her. "We shouldn't have slept together. I put my own emotional needs ahead of yours even though we both agreed we wouldn't have sex for a week, and I was wrong to act like I did, to put that on you because I thought I needed it to be comforted."

Jinora sat up too, their sheets falling to her hips. "Kai, you didn't put it on me. I wanted it, too. For my own enjoyment, and…" she reached up and ran a hand through his bedhead. "And because I wanted to help you, in whatever way I possibly could."

"I feel like I took advantage of you."

"You didn't." She made sure he met her eyes. "You never have." She laid a hand over his. "How are you feeling? Any better?"

"I think I just…" His throat was dry, as he worked to make it let words out. "I think I just want to lie in bed all day, today."

There was more shame that this would probably be one of his Bad Days—it certainly felt like it—but it ebbed slightly, when Jinora squeezed his hand again.

"Okay," she said simply. "Do you mind if I stay with you? I can go get breakfast, when you're hungry. Or not. Either way, you really should eat a little something."

Kai couldn't manage a smile, but he nodded. "Okay."

Jinora kissed his cheek, and then slipped out of bed to pull on one of her skirts and a shawl over the shirt of his that she was still wearing, as the ship tended to be a bit chillier in the morning. She returned a few minutes later with two bowls of porridge, two apples, and two cups of water on a trap, getting them all set up before she climbed back into bed with him. Jinora nestled herself in his side, silent as they ate, and then started reading a book when it was clear he really didn't want to talk at all.

But she was there. That was more than enough, for him.

He took her free hand while she read. She gave it a gentle squeeze, and for a moment, it felt like things would be okay. They would be okay.

They were silent for a long time before he asked, his cheek pressed against her stomach as he rested his head in her lap, "Do you think having sex was a mistake? This last time, I mean? Was—was it helping? Not having it?"

"I don't know," Jinora admitted, closing her book. "Mostly...it just reminded me of our fight, every time I wanted you and then remembered that I couldn't."

"Do you want to go back to having it?"

"Do you?"

"If abstinence isn't helping, then… why not? Last night felt good."

She smiled down at him. "Yeah, it did. You feeling okay? You took all your morning meds?" He nodded, and she went back to running her fingers through his hair, glad that this meant their fight and issues were mostly resolved. "Anything else you want to talk about?" He shook his head, and she chalked it up to his tiredness that he didn't say it back.

###

They hardly saw each other, once she was back at the manor that summer. The crew had more cargo to drop off and more Quil leads, while Jinora started job shadowing a professor in Republic City. Kai came to the city a few times, but always when they were both extremely busy, and barely had time to do anything but spend a couple nights together in his cabin and screw after long, rather exhausting days. Sometimes they didn't even do that, with Kai keeping the Waterbender docked in the City's main harbour for better transportation and time management, or so he said, even though her Island was _right there_ , and _didn't he want to see her_ —and then they'd fight instead of fuck (and very occasionally do both).

Before they knew it, summer was coming to an end, and Jinora was boarding the Waterbender for her third year at university. The professor she'd shadowed had given her a glowing review and assured her she'd get in a job in no time after graduation, but she couldn't help but feel a little grumpy when she saw Kai, as the crew lugged her belongings onto the ship yet again. She'd seen him three weeks ago and they hadn't written each other since they'd ended up in a screaming match.

"Hi," she said coolly, and he frowned.

"Hi." He smiled when he saw her family, though, and hugged all of them, even if he hadn't hugged her. It was cold on the docks.

"Stay safe, both of you!" Pema called, and Jinora tried to smile for her sake.

"We will," Kai promised with a soft smile—Jinora had to reach back in her memories to the last time that had been directed at her, maybe two months and four visits ago—and her mother smiled, as they walked back onto the ship.

"I'm going to go unpack," Jinora said, once the Island was out of sight. The deck was just as cold as the docks.

Kai nodded, from his stiff stature beside her. "Alright." His eyes lingered on her, and he slowly reached for her hand. "Hey, Jin, can we just… can we talk, later?"

She paused, but didn't pull away. "Alright. Later."

He squeezed her hand. "Later," he agreed, before letting go.

###

Kai found her in his room after dinner reading a book, and closed the door quietly behind him. It wasn't time for bed yet—there were still chores to be done, like bringing in laundry in case it rained, or washing the dishes for dinner—but he had a hunch he'd find her here anyway. His room was as much hers, at this point. She had even taken over a few of his dresser drawers, considering she had more clothes than he did.

There was no getting away from her, not that he wanted to, really. There was no getting away from this, even if it was far less preferable.

But surprisingly, hopefully, she made the first move, as she set down her book and said, "So," rather promptly. "What did you want to talk about?"

He hesitated as he walked over to her, and sat down next to her on his bed. "I know we've been having a hard time, recently," he began carefully, half expecting her to disagree, but she didn't. "So I thought it would be...smart, if we talked about it."

"Seems solid," she conceded, even if her tone wasn't encouraging. "So?"

"So I know I miss you," he blurted out. It wasn't like her to be overtly vulnerable when he wasn't, most of the time. "And I miss when we weren't fighting all the time. I—I want to figure out what happened to us, so we can fix it, because our time apart is just making it worse and then we can't enjoy the time we do have together."

Jinora pursed her lips together, as she softened. "Why do you act like you don't want to spend time with me?"

"What?"

"You stopped mooring the Waterbender at the Island, and you've never stopped by even when I told you when I would actually have more time for you, and…" Her voice didn't break, but it wavered, slightly. "You've stopped in Republic City this summer more times than you ever have and I've barely seen you. And I've been trusting you and believing you when it's late and you say you're just busy, but I'm tired of waiting around for you to show up and when you do I don't even get to see you."

Creases formed in his brow, his voice soft. "Jin, I'm so sorry. I do want to spend time with you, I really do. And I have been busy—legal work overseas doesn't pay as much, so we've been having to take more jobs. On top of that, I'm training some new crew members, Appa's nephew being one of them. And then there's the Quil stuff, and…" He sighed. "I want to spend more time with you. I just haven't had the chance."

"I made chances for you when you visited in me in April, as a surprise," she pointed out.

"I know, and I'm grateful you did, and I promise, I'm going to try harder. I'll make time for you, I swear. I never mean to take you for granted. And I know this might contradict what I've just said, but—please, be more patient with me? Sometimes I still feel like… like you treat what I do as just a stepping stone to when I start doing something that means I can actually be with you, and it hurts. Maybe I'm not everything you've always wanted in a lover, or I'm a difficult choice, but I'm trying to make it easier, and I still—I still want you to choose me, as I am right now. Not who I will be."

Jinora expression fell. "Is that how I treat you?"

"That...that's how I feel, sometimes. What do you think of the life I lead now?"

She was silent for a long moment. "I think it's admirable, and dangerous. And I know you love it… but I also love you, so, isn't it understandable that I can't help but long for the future when you're safe and mine and we can fully be together?"

"A future on land, you mean."

"Sometimes, yes. Other times, I think I could be quite happy on the Waterbender. I always enjoy the time I spend here, when we're travelling… so long as we're not fighting. But it's also not the life I grew up accustomed to. It's not as stable. But I'm trying, too."

Kai took her hand. "I know."

"I hate fighting with you."

His voice softened. "I hate fighting with you too."

"But, if that's all we have to say for now…" she leaned forward. "The makeup sex really is incredible."

Kai smiled. "I can't think of anything else I want to talk about right now," he admitted. "You?"

"I think my mouth would prefer to do other things," she said, and slanted her mouth over his.

She wished, when they were done, and finished another time too, of him lapping between her legs and unravelling her there, that a quiet night with no fights and good sex could be enough to fix all their issues. Of course, it wasn't that easy.

But at least they had talked about it. At least they would both keep on trying, perhaps a little harder and more accurately now.

And still, they loved each other, as he wrapped his arms around her and she snuggled up to him, their sheets messy and strewn up haphazardly halfway up their torsos.

"I love you," she said happily, and he kissed her forehead.

"I love you too."

###

And in fact, they were fine, until the second last day of their trip back to Ba Sing Se. They'd stopped in a small town along the river that led into the city, and gone into town for the night—Kai had wanted them to have a proper date before she went back to school ("more time together, like you said") and took her dancing at a low-end pub.

And Jinora was enjoying herself, truly—the music was good, and Kai was as handsome as ever and pressed close to her on the dance floor—when she saw women flirting with him in between songs when he was getting the two of them drinks. They were clearly close to his class, lower or less, and it struck her just how much easier falling in love with one of them would be. No finicky future, no having to give up what he loved. Just a girl he could love simply and probably bring aboard with little trouble, and of course, whoever he wanted would fall in love with him. How could they not?

Her throat tightened, and she blinked back the burning sensation in her eyes. "I wanna go back," Jinora said quietly, when he came back to their little table, having waved the women off with a smile, and two drinks in hand.

Kai's brow creased in concern as he set down the drinks, and he gently placed his hands on her upper arms. "Are you okay?"

"Just tired, I think. I'm not used to this much noise." The club was loud, after all.

Kai looked put out that their date hadn't been a success (and likely that they were wasting drinks he had already paid for) but he nodded, and guided her towards the door. "Okay. Let's go back to the ship."

The cool night air after the stuffiness of the club was a relief, as they walked back to the ship. "Are you sure you're alright?" Kai said, an arm wrapped around her waist, but he always held her close like this at night. "Longshot could take a look once he's back with the others."

"No, I'm okay, really." She kissed his cheek. "But thank you. I think I just want to go to bed."

He squeezed her waist. "Alright."

His hand was warm on her waist, and Jinora reminded herself that her jealousy in the club was silly. Kai was hers. None of those women would ever know him as well as she did, much less have the pleasure of knowing what it was like to touch and be touched by him.

Jinora lowered her lips and kissed his neck, above his rumpled shirt collar. "After we have sex?" she whispered.

Kai smiled, and held her closer, pausing to kiss her right there on the street. "Whatever you want, Jin."

His room was warmer than the night, and he was too, as they took off their clothes and made love in his bed. Kai tangled his hands in her hair and kissed her hard as he rammed into her, and she rolled her hips up to his, just as frantic for friction. She was content when they were finished, feeling like they were finally on the right path again, as she rested her head on his chest and he stroked her hair, until there was a knock on their door.

"Captain?" It was Otaku.

Kai sighed, kissing her temple. "I'll be right back," he promised, slipping out of bed and pulling on pants, before he opened and shut the door, stepping out into the hall.

After five minutes passed and it was clear he wasn't coming right back, Jinora braved the cold outside of their now lukewarm bed to pull on clothes to warm herself up: a pair of thick leggings and one of her own blouses, as it seemed like all of his shirts were in the hamper for once.

When Kai did come back, Jinora was half asleep in their bed, but she perked up when she saw the worried expression on his face. "What's wrong?"

"We have a job in the city, and the employer is insisting on seeing the captain when we get in tomorrow night," he revealed. "And she knows what I look like, so I can't send Yung in my place, so… I'll have to spend tomorrow night going over business with her instead of being with you." He took her hand and kissed the back of it. "I'm really sorry Jin."

The tears welled up in her eyes again, but she blinked them back. _Don't overreact don't overreact don't overreact—_

"Okay," she managed. "I-I know it's not ideal for you either. M-maybe you could stay a day later than usual, since I have a few days before class starts?" she suggested, swallowing hard. Her throat was painfully tight when she saw the relief in his eyes.

"Yeah." He gave her a tiny grin. "Good idea, Jin. I'm sure we can figure something like that out." He pressed his smile to her lips in a quick kiss. "Thank you for understanding."

She smiled weakly, squeezing his hand. "Hey, I said I'd try, right?"

"Yeah, you did." He gave her another quick kiss, taking in her clothed appearance. "You're cold?"

"A little, without you."

"Is that a no to hot chocolate, then? Before bed?"

She smiled, leaning into him. "Sure." She watched as he pulled away and got mugs from his messy desk mantle's in the corner of his room, and hauled out the tiny wood burning stove from his bathroom that was usually used to warm water for man made showers.

"The hot chocolate packets are in my bedside drawer," he said, setting it up near the side of his bed.

"Which drawer?" Jinora asked. There were three to choose from.

Kai shrugged as he put the pan on the stove, which flickered to life, and filled it with water.

Jinora opened the first drawer and found a few spare cigarettes and what looked like receipts, and Kai's cheque book he used to record some of the crew's financials. There was a shiny metal flask in the second drawer, swishing slightly as she opened it up, most likely containing vodka or some other kind of alcohol that was common on the high seas. Next to it was a pile of condoms, which was unusual, given that she and Kai never used them… and one of them was open. _One of them was opened_.

It was like all her worst fears had been thrown into the light, because what else would he have a used condom in his bedside table drawer for? He wouldn't need it for jerking himself off, only if… only if he had been with someone else who wanted him to use it since she never had. She almost wanted to slam the drawer shut and pretend she had never seen it, but maybe there was a good explanation for this. Maybe if she believed it hard enough, he wouldn't have cheated on her.

Jinora picked up the used condom carefully, and held it up between two fingers. "What's this?" she said shakily.

Kai looked up, his brow furrowing, before his face relaxed again into an easy grin. "Oh, I keep condoms in there in case any of the crew ever needs 'em and they've run out."

But there was a glint in his eye, and she knew he was lying. If not flat out, then there was at least something he was hiding. "It's used, Kai." Her other hand curled into a fist. "Why the hell do you have a _used condom_ in your drawer?"

"Nothing—happened," Kai said tersely.

"Don't—"

"If I say nothing happened, then nothing happened. Just trust me, Jinora."

" _Trust you_?" She got out of bed, fuming. "I'm supposed to trust you when you have a used condom in your drawer—"

Kai flicked off their tiny stove, and stood up. "What do you want to hear then?"

"The truth would be nice!"

"Fine! The truth is I didn't cheat on you! Yes, I took the condom out and put it on, but I didn't sleep with anyone! Yes, I almost did, but I didn't want to! There was a woman on Quil's island who could give us some really important information, but she wanted me to sleep with her first, and I was going to do it—I was in my bathroom and I was putting this stupid thing on—" He took the wrapping from her hand and threw it to the ground. "And then I sent her packing because she wasn't you!"

"Oh, so I'm supposed to be happy that you only nearly cheated on me and wasn't going to tell me until I forced you to?!"

"I didn't cheat—" Kai huffed in frustration. "Okay, fine—fine, you want to believe I cheated on you, go ahead! That's what you want, isn't it? You keep waiting around for me to be unfaithful and then get upset when I'm not, right? Because deep down you can't handle the fact that I don't need you—I don't need your school or your family's money and I'm no longer a mentally ill mess that needs your constant reassurance! And you can't handle that change so you keep wanting me to mess up so I'll have to be dependent on you again, for your goddamn forgiveness or some bullshit, because you can't bear the thought of being alone! It's why you started dating Lee the second I was gone and came crawling back to me the second he broke up with you, and it's such bullshit, Jinora!"

Her eyes widened, almost stunned into silence. "I—I didn't—"

"So what can I do, right, but be here and be patient, while you wait for me to mess up the way you think a pirate always does, because you always think that I'm going to cheat on you—"

And her anger came back, spitting fire. "You're the one who's making everything difficult—you could stay on land and accomplish your goals here but you don't want to make any sacrifices for me even though it's hurting both of us—"

"I have sacrificed everything for you! Every comment or look or time I got beat up at school, I took it for you! I worked my ass off for you! I still am, so that we can have a future that's somewhat sane, so that you can stay in the lap of luxury you've always had—"

"Well I guess it was stupid to think that a pirate and an heiress could ever have a future, then!" she spat, chest heaving. "When all those women and your stupid business partner tomorrow would be an easier choice!"

A look of deadly calm settled over his face. "You know what," he said tonelessly, "you're right. You are the harder choice. And I am so tired of choosing." He grabbed a shirt and his sword belt and put them on, pausing to do up the buttons.

"Fine!" Jinora spat, a hand at her throat, and she hurled off her promise ring and threw it at him. It bounced noiselessly off his shoulder, and her throat tightened when she realized it was the same one that had been injured in the bank over six years ago.

"You can find your own way home in December," he said coldly, walking to his door. "I'm done." And he slammed it behind him as he left.

Clearly he didn't care about her possibly trashing his room. Or about her, at all.

The promise ring glistened in the dim light, and she sat down in front of it, her vision blurring with tears. She would not cry over that stupid, selfish, arrogant—

She buried her face in her hands to muffle the first sob that burst from her mouth. It took a long time for her to calm down enough to wipe at her face a bit, and get up and walk around. She threw out the opened condom in Kai's little garbage basket and begrudgingly tucked her promise necklace in the pocket of her leggings, and then took the flask from his second drawer and took a swig, grateful when the vodka burned her throat. She needed to feel something other than this aching numbness and sadness, as she curled up on his bed. It didn't seem like he would be coming back tonight—maybe he'd sleep with the crew, or maybe not at all.

Kai had broken up with her. That was it. They were done. They had issues that couldn't be fixed and even if he wanted to try, again, there were issues that certainly couldn't be fixed in a day or while doing long distance.

Another sob rose in her throat, tears pricking at her eyes. She'd lost him. In her ridiculous attempts to keep him, she'd driven him away.

Maybe if she followed him and begged, promised to change. But what would that fix? They still had so much to work through, even if he did take her back. It would take more than a promise for her to trust him the way he deserved. And even if he took her back, she would still be going to university again, he would still be overseas, and they would still be millions of miles away.

The least she could do was say sorry, though.

Jinora wrapped her shawl around herself and padded out into the hallway. She poked her head into where Yung slept, just in case Kai had gone to speak with him, but the first mate was snoring peacefully. The rest of the crew must have come back around the same time they did.

She found Pabu in the kitchen with a hot drink, and hoped it wasn't too evident that she'd been crying. She swallowed hard. "Do you know where Kai is?" she asked.

"He took over my night watch shift," Pabu said, and then eyed her cautiously, red hair falling over concerned eyes. "You two okay?"

"Fine," Jinora said, and headed up the stairs before he could hear her sniffle. The night air was cold as she stepped onto the deck, wind rolling off the sea as they were moored in a rather deserted harbour. The decks of the ship were desolate and dark, with no lights lit, as she made her way to the mast, where thankfully there was a lantern, next to the rope grid. "Kai?" she called. She could just barely make out his silhouette against the stars, but he didn't look down, or respond. There was no way he could have not heard her. "Kai, please."

Still no response. She turned towards the rope grid, her stomach churning, and shakily stepped onto it. She had always hated, hated, heights, but… she loved him more. She was only a few rungs up when she just wanted to cling to it and slide down, but forced herself to go up further even if she felt like she was going to throw up. (Then again, she'd felt like that ever since their fight had ended, but still.) Her hands were shaking as she continued her climb, but as soon as the crow's nest was within reach, her foot missed the next rung.

Jinora screamed as she slipped, still managing to hold onto the ropes with her hands so hard the rope dug into her skin, and then she felt warm, familiar hands lift her up and into the crow's nest.

Kai's eyes were still bright and angry, but concerned. "What the hell were you doing?"

"I just—" she sniffled hard, partly from fear and partly from shame. She looked down at the tiny wooden floor of the nest. "I just wanted to apologize," she mumbled.

"Did you?"

"I did. I...I shouldn't have accused you of cheating, I should have trusted you, I…" She swallowed. "I guess I have a lot of my own issues. I shouldn't have taken them out on you. I'm sorry."

There was a beat of silence, and she could feel Kai considering her, when he said, "C'mon, I'll help you back down the ropes."

"W-what?"

"You'll freeze up here, and you might almost fall again. C'mon."

"Kai, I don't want to leave—"

"Well I want you to." His jaw was set, and he gestured to the ropes. "So?"

Jinora's already crestfallen face fell further, and she fiddled with the necklace inside the pocket of her leggings, before pulling out the promise necklace. "Here." Her fingers were shaking, collapsed along the cold metal, before she pushed it into his palm.

Kai dropped it back into her lap. "I don't want it."

"Kai—"

"It's yours. Keep it."

"But…" Jinora blinked away the tears that threatened to come. "Okay." Her bottom lip trembled. "I—I am _so sorry_. I love you. I still love you."

Finally, something in his stoic expression softened, but not by much. "That's not enough, right now." Kai cleared his throat. "Come on. You should get out of the cold."

Jinora followed him back into his room, where he reheated the hot chocolate they were supposed to have, left cold after their fight.

"I'm not asking you to take me back," Jinora said quietly. "Although that would be nice, and so much more than I deserve, if you did. But I do still love you so much, and I want to try, to work on my issues, so that if you… if you ever want to be with me again, we can be better. I can be better."

Kai was silent as he set the warm cup of hot chocolate in her hands, then sat down opposite from her, staring at his mug. "I'm always going to love you," he said quietly, "and that's why it hurt so much when you accused me of cheating on you. Because after everything I've given up, it hasn't been enough to gain your trust."

"I know," she said thickly. "And I'm sorry. I promise I'm going to try harder. I just—I've been so scared of losing you, and now I really have and I know it was a fair choice for you to make. You deserve better than the way I've been treating you and I'm sorry." She wiped at her eyes. "I just—do you think, we could give things another try, someday? Once I'm better?"

"I don't know right now," Kai said, and she nodded, closing her eyes tightly. "But I think I would like to. Try again, someday."

Jinora almost smiled as she opened her eyes and looked at him, but couldn't quite manage it. "I didn't realize how much you had… you had been keeping inside." Her watery eyes found his. "Is there anything else you want to talk about?" she asked, trying for a broken laugh.

"Yes, actually." He ran a hand through his hair. "I don't think I can come to pick you up and drop you off anymore. The traders along this route don't like us and we—we lose time and money by making the detours. One of the reasons I was so glad to have the job, this time, even if I didn't want—didn't want to meet her, tomorrow."

"I suppose that's best," Jinora said quietly. "I...I can order some tickets home later, and...if you're free, around wintertime, my family would still love to have you for Spirit Festival dinner."

Kai's mouth twitched upwards. "I don't know if they would, but...thanks."

Jinora swallowed. "Yeah." She bit her lip. "It might be best if I just...move into my apartment when we dock tomorrow, and then you can get to work, and...we can figure things out by ourselves."

"I'll ask Dr. Aput if he knows any therapists in Ba Sing Se," Kai said. "It...helps, to talk to someone about stuff."

"You think I should go?"

"I don't think you have anything to lose by giving it a fair shot."

"That's true," she admitted, wiping at her eyes. "God, I'm just a weeping mess right now."

"Well, you look the way I feel, right now."

Jinora's throat tightened, as her eyes dried. "I'm sorry I ruined everything," she whispered. "I'm sorry I ruined us, I…"

"You didn't ruin anything, it just…" Kai let out a soft sigh. "Maybe this was a long time coming. And maybe someday we can...try again, but...maybe we're not ready to be together, right now."

"Yeah." Jinora wiped at a fresh tear before it could fall. "I just wish that we were."

Kai slowly stood up. "I should go back to my post."

"O-okay." She got up too. "Just make sure to stay warm out there, and… you don't mind, if I stay here for tonight?"

"I don't mind." His eyes smiled slightly at her, even if his mouth couldn't. "Have a good night, Jinora."

She curled her arms over herself, so she wouldn't reach out to him. "You too."

He shut the door quietly, this time, but that didn't mean she didn't sob this time too, when he left.


	19. The Fong Family

**a/n: feel free to yell at us in the reviews section, please**

* * *

CHAPTER NINETEEN: The Fong Family

Kai got used to her absence the way you got used to a gaping hole in your chest, which is to say, with a lot of aching breaths and much difficulty. He had to get used to the fact that he no longer had to think about her, now getting back around two months of his life that otherwise would have been sailing to Ba Sing Se or back again, and that he no longer had to write her. He also had to adjust to the idea that he could actually return the attention girls gave him at bars, and while a few times he was a little tempted (mostly because now he'd gotten used to sex at certain intervals that had suddenly been taken away) he knew it would still be wrong even if he was no longer with her, because well… none of those girls were her. They could never be enough.

He found himself often looking at pictures of her, or reading old letters from back when they had just graduated from high school, back when they had been so optimistic about their future. It had been so simple before the enormity of the distance between them had really set in.

He had never asked her how long too long would have been.

And yet, despite his aching heart, he knew their breakup was for the best. She wasn't ready for this stage of their relationship, and if he kept wearing himself thin trying to bridge the gap between them that only she could ultimately close, he'd end up resenting her instead of just missing her.

In a strange way, he was grateful to her, for letting go. She always did that; made the smart choice so he could find happiness down the road. But from where he was standing, the road seemed far longer than it had in awhile.

"You're brooding again, kid."

Kai looked up from resting his face in his crossed arms, as Yung sat next to him at the empty dining table. "I'm not _brooding_."

"Fine, sulking." Yung set a beer down in front of him at the captain's chair. "So drink up, and let's talk." Kai shot him a look, but took a long swig anyway. "Now," Yung said, once he set down the bottle, "what's on your mind? Jinora, again?"

Kai softened at just the mention of her name. "I just… miss her. A lot."

Yung was silent for a moment. It had been three months since the breakup, but he saw how it impacted his boy everyday. "Y'know, no one ever said that you couldn't be friends after you broke up."

Kai ran a hand through his hair. "I don't think we know how to be just friends. We never have been before, not really. And I think—I think a complete cut off is good for her, for right now. If I'm in her life at all, I think she'll revert back to acting the way she was before, and that's not good for either of us. Especially not for her." He sighed. "Anyway, thanksgiving and winter break isn't too far away, and the Gyatsos said I could still come over for as long as I want, so maybe then, I...I can see if I can check on her, see how she's doing. In person, I...I don't want to write to her yet, not if she's not ready."

Yung smiled gently, and reached over and ruffled his hair. "You're being real mature, kid. I'm proud of you."

"Is that what love does?" he asked Yung, almost amused. "Matures you?"

Yung's smile faded. "I dunno. I never really got the chance to find out, but I would say yeah, it is. Either that or break your heart, but I think you're going through both at the moment."

"Mind if I keep the bottle?" Kai held up the beer.

Yung smiled again. "I figured you would, kiddo. Try and get some sleep soon, okay? We have an early job tomorrow."

"I know." Kai batted his hand away when he went to ruffle his hair again, even if he couldn't entirely hold back a grin. "Have a good night, Yung."

"You too, Cap."

Maybe for once tonight, he could dream, and it wouldn't be of her face.

###

Jinora got used to working at Yeshe Library after school three nights a week and every Saturday, and going to therapy sessions every other Sunday. She filled the time in between helping Yin and Malae plan their wedding, writing letters to the girls back home, doing schoolwork, and trying not to think too much about her ex. Her therapist, Dr. Khun, had told her to allow herself to think of Kai without dwelling on him or the past, and she tried, but it was a difficult balance, sometimes. To keep herself from suppressing thoughts without clinging to them for too long.

Although there had been nothing about not allowing herself to masturbate to the thought of him. It was a common occurrence when they had been together, but now that they weren't, she did it more than ever. She had kept several photos of him, including the ones they'd taken just before she had started university, and used them to keep him in high quality in her imagination whenever she was in bed, or stayed close to the hot jets in her bathtub and pretended as best she could.

It wasn't the same, but it was enough, for now. Just enough to wean herself off of him slowly.

She missed more than the sex of course, his smile and laugh and stupid messy hair and his letters. She wondered whether he was missing her as much as she was missing him. If he really would be willing to wait until she was ready again, and if he'd be willing to take her back once she was.

But like Dr. Khun said, she tried not to focus on it too much. Fixation had been her downfall in their relationship and she was here to primarily fix her own issues, not just the ones in her relationship with Kai, but the ones that had become more prominent because of it.

"Now your parents," Dr. Khun said, on their fourth session together, "raised you well, correct? Despite the stifling of high society?"

Jinora nodded, fidgeting with her hands in her lap. "They loved—love—me dearly."

"And you have three younger siblings, correct?"

"Yes."

"You've said that Ikki and Meelo are both quite excitable, and Rohan is quieter, like you, but your parents dote on him anyway, due to the age difference and the fact he struggles more socially than you did, correct?"

"Yes, doctor."

"Then would it be a reach in saying that all your siblings have received far more attention from your parents than you did? As you were the 'golden' child of the family, as the eldest?"

"I… suppose it would be fair."

"Were you ever the focus of their undivided attention? And when you were, would it quickly be diverted away?"

"I… the few times I was, yes. I had to be a good example. They had my siblings, or my father's political career to worry about. I—I had to be perfect. They didn't have time for me to be anything else until a few years ago, and…" Her throat tightened as she connected the dots. "Do you think that's why I was so paranoid about losing Kai's attention? Because I wasn't used to keeping anyone's for very long?"

"I think it could play a part, yes."

"I know they all love me," she said quietly. "But I've also never had anyone stay when I wasn't perfect, except for him, at first, and…"

"If your fears stem from him leaving you, because you're emotionally dependent, than the best thing you can do is spread your emotional dependency so it's not honed in one person. Build a bigger and better support group, both at home and here in the city. Do you think that would be a wise course of action for you to take?"

Jinora smiled a little. "Yes I do. And I think I have a few ideas of where I can start."

"Alright. Just keep in mind not to rush things. Change takes time to get settled in."

"Of course, doctor. Thank you."

"I'm happy to help. I'll see you again, in two weeks?"

"Yes, you will. Have a good day."

"You too."

Jinora left the cozy office space with a sense of purpose. Spread her emotional dependency across a network of people instead of just Kai. She could do that. After all, she still hadn't had Shen Shen or Pfannee visit her (Miki had come a couple times when studying abroad for part of the semester) and she had Malae and Yin across the hall, who while busy, loved her too. And Lee, and Tullik and Aika. There were plenty of people who loved her. She just had to allow herself to depend on them more. She could do this. And maybe, someday, she'd be a little more okay.

###

"Tullik and I were talking," Aika said one afternoon, as Jinora bent down and set up the step stool for her, so she could reorganize the books on the top shelf. "Weren't we dear?"

"Yes love," came Tullik's voice from the row of books one over.

"We were talking, about how you said you weren't going home for thanksgiving," she said to Jinora, "and he suggested that, well, why don't you come to ours? We're right here in the city, and our daughter Misun is the only other person coming, and I'm sure she'd like you."

Jinora blinked in surprise, smiling slightly. "I'd love to," she began, "but you're sure I wouldn't be imposing?" She'd thought they had two daughters, too, or at least daughters plural, but maybe Misun was the only one who lived close enough to come to Thanksgiving over the years.

"Oh, not at all! It's usually just the three of us, and we always cook too much, anyway. Besides, we love having you around, and couldn't bear the thought of you alone in your apartment on Thanksgiving."

If she had to wait that much longer to see her family, at least she'd be able to spend the evening with a nice family that truly cared about her, as well. Hopefully Misun would like her well enough, too. "Alright," Jinora said, "I'll come. Should I bring anything?"

"Just that lovely smile of yours, dear." Aika's own smile faltered, though. "There is something we should likely tell you beforehand, though. We have—had—two daughters, but our youngest, Ming, went missing about twenty eight years ago. It's a sensitive subject, especially for Misun. The money we got as compensation is the reason we were able to move to the upper ring, we used to live in the lower one. Of course, I would take having my baby back over a nicer home, but—"

"I understand," Jinora assured her, laying a hand on the woman's frail arm. "I'm sorry about your daughter."

"So am I," Aika said quietly. "But I like to think she's happy, wherever she is."

"I'm sure she is," Jinora told her.

Aika wiped at her eyes, and then her smile slowly returned as she took a piece of paper out of her pocket, and Jinora realized she knew she'd say yes the whole time. "Now, here's our address, and the time. Don't be late."

"I won't."

###

Jinora arrived with a basket of sweet buns anyway—her mother's recipe—and rang the doorbell only a minute earlier than the written time.

When the door opened, it wasn't Tullik or Aika, but a woman close to her mother's age, maybe a bit older, her downturned eyes a deep blue. She was pretty, with curly brown hair pulled back in a low ponytail that hardly contained it, but with a withering stare, and for a moment, Jinora worried she'd gotten the wrong house, if she hadn't clearly seen the resemblance between the woman and both of her parents.

"You must be Misun," she said, injecting cheer into her voice. She stuck out her hand, cradling the basket in the other. "I'm Jinora, it's nice to meet you."

"Yes, Mother said you were coming," Misun said, and she didn't sound happy about it, but she didn't sound completely against it either. "Come in, and you can set the food you brought on the table."

Jinora followed her into the small but rather lavish home, with a kitchen and an adjourning dining and living room. There were lots of pictures on the wall, mostly of two young girls, one of whom must have been Misun (looking far happier than she did now), the other younger and with a more lopsided smile. Even through the black and white grainy filter, you could tell how bright it was.

Jinora put the basket of sweet buns on the table, looking at the four places on the table, when Tullik greeted her cheerfully. "It's good to see you, Miss Gyatso."

Jinora smiled as he hobbled in with his cane. "You too, Mr. Fong," she said formally, and he cracked a grin. She opened her arms to offer a hug, and he accepted it, the corners of his blue eyes crinkling as he pulled away. It turned out he was from the Southern Water Tribe too, like her own GranGran, although he was a good deal younger.

"Aika is just getting the pig-turkey out of the oven now," he said, and her stomach twisted.

"Oh, um, actually, Tullik," she stammered, "I probably should have said this before, but I'm a vegetarian."

His white eyebrows shot up, and she supposed to a man of the Southern Water Tribe not eating meat was as strange as could be.

"Not to worry dear," said Aika, carrying in a teaming pig-turkey in a pan from the kitchen. "I noticed what you would eat on your lunch breaks. We have plenty of mashed carrot-potatoes and ocean kumquat stew and salad to go around."

Jinora smiled, relieved. "That's perfect. Thank you, Aika."

"Now tell us, how's that boy of yours? Still sailing? You haven't talked about him in awhile."

"He's well," Jinora said, taking a seat. Misun didn't look happy with the conversation topic. "Very busy, trying to reach as many places as possible before the ice sets in." She hadn't been able to bring herself to tell Aika and Tullik that she and Kai were on a break.

"Well maybe next Thanksgiving he can stop by too," suggested Tullik, and she smiled. They really were the nicest old people she had ever met. "Next year is your last year, isn't it?"

"We'll have to see about that, but yes, next year is my last, technically." Jinora took some of the mashed carrot-potatoes when the other three had already piled some onto their plate. "I still have to complete a research project, as an extra credential, if I want to become a professor someday, so I might as well do that once I graduate."

"If you're not here for Thanksgiving next year, hopefully that means you're able to spend it at home," said Aika. "As much as we love having you, your family must miss you."

"They do, but they understand. And all my siblings still live at home, so they have more than enough going on already."

"I'll bet they'll have plenty of grandchildren in another ten years, then," said Aika wistfully, and Misun glared at her. "Speaking of no grandchildren," she said teasingly, "how goes your work, dear? You got the promotion you were hoping for a few days ago, you know your father and I are so proud."

"Yes, I did," Misun said, her voice taking on an edge.

"I'm sorry dear," Aika said, clearly meaning it, "I didn't mean to push you. You know we don't mind that you don't want children—"

"So stop bringing it up."

Jinora went perfectly still. Well, this was awkward.

"Your mother was only teasing, Misun," said Tullik a tad sternly. "Now please, you're being rude."

"I don't see why I should have to be polite to some girl you've brought to _replace_ her."

"We haven't—"

"You both gave up on Ming and now you're trying to replace her with the first pretty young girl that talks to you—"

"Misun, you are a grown woman," said Tullik tersely. "Your mother and I have good reason to believe that if Ming hasn't come home after nearly twenty eight years, it's because, well, she can't. And Jinora is not a replacement for her. Miss Gyatso is a nice young woman who works for us at Yeshe, and I expect you to treat her with respect. You've been bitter and lashing out at people who don't deserve it for years now, and frankly, it's gotten rather old, Misun Fong."

Misun's eyes flashed. "Ming is _not dead_. She's out there somewhere but you gave up on her and—" She stood with a sudden start, the mashed carrot-potatoes jiggling at the sudden movement. "I can't be here right now," she said, and she walked out, slamming the front door behind her.

Aika sighed sadly. "I'm so sorry," she said to Jinora.

"No, you don't have to—I-I have a younger sister too, I would be upset if I lost her. I understand." Jinora rubbed her arm. "I—I can leave if—"

"No, you stay. Sometimes I think Misun thinks if she keeps acting like she's eighteen, all the years Ming's been away will disappear—that's how old she was when Ming…" Aika cleared her throat. "Stay, dear. We enjoy having you here."

Jinora paused, then managed a small smile, holding up her basket of sweet buns. "Would you please take one? It's my mother's recipe."

Aika smiled softly, if a little brokenly. "That's very kind of you, dear."

###

Tullik and Aika showed her some of the more high quality photographs they had saved, back when both their daughters had been together. Ming had been a cute little girl, with wavy hair and Aika's mother's eyes, apparently, luckily passed down through a recessive gene. The story had eventually come out of her getting stolen away while on a trip to the eastern coast, not far from what the pirates called Paradise and the slavers roamed. She'd been sixteen. They hadn't seen her since, and as the years had gone on, Aika and Tullik had given up on seeing their daughter again. After all, it seemed unlikely that anyone would have survived that long, if she had indeed been taken as a slave (they had never been able to track down the records, as there had been plenty of Mings and they'd been given location based surnames from wherever they'd been imprisoned before being given to the ships), and if she was still alive, why hadn't she'd escaped and come home?

"She was always very resourceful," Aika remembered tearfully. "Very loving. She wanted children more than anything. Misun has always been more career driven. She works with the police force here in the city, to make sure more people don't disappear the way Ming did."

"She'd get along with Kai," Jinora said. "He's a sailor, but… he liberates slave ships too."

"He sounds like a very admirable young man," said Tullik approvingly.

"He is," she said quietly. "Even when he had nothing, he just wanted to help people."

"Ming was like that too."

Aika wiped her eyes and smiled. "I know you should probably get going, dear, but would you like some hot chocolate before you go?"

Jinora smiled back at her. "That would be wonderful, Aika, thank you."

###

Three weeks before the start of winter break, Jinora received a letter in Kai's familiar handwriting: _We can pick you up, if you want. We're coming by the river anyway on our way back. —Kai_

Her throat tightened when she saw that he hadn't signed off with his usual Always Yours, but she wasn't surprised, after anything. It was telling that he had written at all, much less offering to do something he had previously admitted had been a financial burden on them.

 _Already got a ticket for one of the passenger ships, she wrote. Thank you for offering. —Jinora_

The paper felt heavy with everything she wasn't writing— _I love you, I miss you, I'm getting better, I'm still sorry_ —as she folded it into an envelope and licked a stamp. She'd drop it off in the mail on her way to school tomorrow for a group study session.

And maybe it would be easier to cancel or refund her ticket (she could afford to do the former, after all) if only to see him for a little longer, but… she couldn't take the easy road out, this time. She had to do the hard work necessary, if they were ever going to be together again and work.

Jinora let out a shaky breath.

It'd be worth it, just like he had always said. It had to be.

###

It was strange, to be docking alone at Air Temple Island, and for the first time, Jinora wasn't there to greet him, as Kai tied the ropes. He'd gotten used to seeing her run down from the house and into his arms, a rush of warmth into his cold bones from being on deck in the winter for so long.

He hadn't seen her in four months. Would he even be able to hug her now? Could they still do that now that they were broken up?

The first Gyatso to greet him was Rohan, ten years old and definitely taller than he had been at the end of the summer. The boy threw his arms around Kai's middle and hugged him tightly, and Kai chuckled as he hugged him back and ruffled his hair.

"Hey, kid. I missed you too." He bent down to his level as Rohan pulled away. "Make any new friends at school?"

"Not yet," Rohan admitted, a little disappointed. He managed a small smile anyway, and it seemed genuine enough. "But at least you're here now."

"Of course I'm here. I'd never miss the Spirit Festival with my favourite kid."

"Even though you and Jinora aren't together anymore?"

Kai's smile faded. So the kids knew, too. "You're always my friend, no matter what things are like between me and Jinora. Got it?"

"Got it."

"And you'll make friends in no time, okay?"

Rohan smiled. "Okay."

"And how is your sister anyway? Is she, uh, is she around?"

"She got back two days ago."

Kai swallowed. So she just hadn't come down to greet him. Okay. He could live with that. "Oh."

"Do you still like her?"

He was saved from answering when the rest of the family showed up, Tenzin and Pema and Meelo and Ikki all smiling widely, the two parents scooping him into hugs, Ikki as well, while Meelo just irritably fixed his hair after Kai ruffled it. And trailing behind them, her hands clasped (a sign of nervousness, he knew), was Jinora.

Tenzin looked between them, and said, "Tea will be ready back up at the house, for anyone who wants to come." He'd gotten used to various crew members going in and out of his house over the years.

Part of Kai wanted to say _Don't leave me alone with her_ , but his voice wouldn't work, as the rest of the family and most of the crew walked up to the house, Yung patting him on the shoulder as he went. Kai watched them go, before he directed his attention to Jinora, again. She hadn't changed much. Still beautiful, still wearing her usual yellow winter coat that she looked adorable bundled up in, and if the sliver of silver around her neck was anything to go by, still wearing his promise necklace.

He didn't know what to say to her, either.

"My family was glad to have you, during Thanksgiving," Jinora said finally.

"Y-yeah. It was good to see them." His throat was dry. "It would've been nice to see you, too. I mean, it is nice now, but…" He coughed. "You know, your family misses you."

"I miss them too. But I...I was busy." She managed a small, tight smile. "School, and all that. But I'm here now, obviously."

"You uh—you did well on your midterms, I'm sure?"

"Yes, I did. Thank you, for asking."

"Of course. I know how hard you work. Um…" He swallowed, but his throat was still dry. "You've been seeing that therapist that Dr. Aput recommended?" The words came out before he could stop himself—had that been too personal? Or what if she hadn't? He knew how much she hated being told what to do, nearly as much as he hated it himself.

"Yes, I have. Dr. Khun. She's nice, and...you're right, it does help to...talk to someone." She chewed on her bottom lip. "So, um, thanks."

"Yeah. Yeah, um, I'll tell Dr. Aput you said so."

"Do you want to go up to the house, now?" She gestured over to it with a gloved hand. "You must be freezing in um, in just your shirt."

"Sure." They started walking up the path, and he tried not to think about how many memories they were stepping on now. "Although y'know, I used to train in this weather without a shirt, so I'm actually pretty okay right now."

Jinora's cheeks were pink from the cold. "I remember," she said, almost fondly. "Zaheer used to make you."

Kai stopped by a hedge. "It's kinda crazy, to think about it. I—we were just kids then."

"I know."

He wrestled with himself for a moment before he said, very quietly, "I miss you." His green eyes were wide and bright as they looked at her, and her equally wide eyed reaction, before he looked at the ground, like he was almost ashamed of himself.

She smiled sadly. "I miss you too." She glanced ahead at the manor. "Come on, the tea's probably getting cold."

His lips twitched upwards. "Okay."

###

It was the day before the Spirit's Festival when Kai felt Jinora grab his arm and tug him into the empty library. If they had been together, it would have been a familiar segway into a makeout in a secluded corner of the house, but now that they weren't, he kept his arms pinned to his sides even as his brow furrowed in confusion.

"Er, Jin?"

He watched the familiar nickname take her back, a second, until she realized he was still staring at her expectantly. "Oh, right, I just figured we should know, before tomorrow, if we're exchanging gifts or not, because, well…"

"Oh." He blinked, and rubbed the back of his neck, and she realized she was still holding his arm and let go. "I mean, I don't have a gift for you, do—do you have one for me?"

"No, no. I don't."

"Good. I mean—um, I guess...I would've felt bad not having something for you if you had something for me, I—I didn't know if that'd be okay—"

"It is," Jinora said quickly. "I mean, not giving each other gifts. We...we're still, um… I don't know if we're ready to quite be friends yet, so...it's...probably best."

"Yeah."

"Good." She gave him a weak smile. "Um, glad to know we're on the same page."

"Hey, uh," Kai cleared his throat. "Would you mind, giving me your opinion on something? I got a dress for Ikki and I think she'll like it, but you know her taste better than I do, and I would uh, still have time to pick out something else today."

Jinora relaxed. Her sister was safe ground. "Sure. Is it back at the ship?"

"I actually brought it up here in a bag, so I can wrap it and leave it under the tree. If it's fine."

She had a feeling that he didn't want her going down to the ship, or his room, more than she absolutely had to, even if she knew he was telling the truth. "Okay. Lead the way. Is it under the tree?"

He nodded. It was safe from Meelo and Ikki's snooping, as they had both gone out with friends, and Rohan was out with Pema.

They went back to the formal family room, taking in the wide evergreen tree shining with wind chimes. Underneath was a bunch of packaged presents, with a figure of Yangchen at the top, and Kai brought out the bag he'd stowed away near the back of the pile.

Jinora lifted up a dress that was mostly pink, with poofy sleeves and a frilly hem along the bottom. It wasn't her personal style, but even now that Ikki had come of age, she loved wearing things of the sort, that bordered on grown up with a flair of childish fun.

"She'll love it," Jinora told him, refolding the dress and setting it back down in the bag.

Kai looked truly relieved, knowing she'd be honest. "Okay, good. I wasn't sure, since Ikki's grown up so much, y'know, but sometimes I still look at her and think she's twelve."

Jinora laughed softly. "I know the feeling. Meelo still thinks he's the junior man of the house, when you're not around."

"Ah, so he finally adheres to my authority." Kai couldn't help but smile when Jinora laughed.

"Don't get too excited, he'll never admit it to you."

"No danger." Their smiles faded as the silence settled between them again. "It's...okay that I'm getting your siblings presents, right?"

"What? Of course. They're...they're always going to be your family, whether or not we're…" She flushed. "Their love for you is unconditional, and I'm glad you're still close with all of them. Of course it's okay that you're getting them presents."

"They know we broke up, don't they?" he said simply, smiling flatly.

"There was no point in not telling them," Jinora said with a shrug.

"Rohan asked me if I still liked you."

Jinora's mouth twitched, and he wasn't sure if she was holding back a smile or a frown. "Sorry. Rohan's never been good with social cues."

"It's okay." Kai stood up, and took a step away. "The answer is yes, by the way."

Jinora flushed, but she didn't look up at him, or even move. "Thank you," she said quietly, "for letting me know." She clasped her hands together in front of her. "I should go finish some of my reading, but I'll see you at dinner."

"Okay. See you around, Jin."

Her smile was genuine while she replied, "You too."

###

In the days leading up to New Years, after the Spirit Festival was a small, cozy affair, if one that was still carefully navigated, and slightly less awkward. The kids loved their presents, even the ones from Kai, and Jinora got several new books and boxes of ginseng tea. She was radiant in her red Festival dress, with sleeves draped down her shoulders and exposed her collarbone. She was beautiful, smiling in the warmth of the fire.

It was easier to look and talk with her, even if the ease they used to have was no longer there, and there were still stilted moments of awkwardness, but at least he now knew that it was okay they were like this.

"Kai?" Her voice brought him out of his thoughts, and it nearly took his breath away when he looked at her, soft curls framing her face.

"Yeah?"

"The kitchen staff already brought out the cookies. You better come into the kitchen, before my siblings finish it all."

"Oh, right. Thanks, Jin."

She smiled softly. "Yeah, of course." She lingered for a moment, and then left the room where he was, presumably to go be with her parents.

They weren't having a traditional party this year, as Tenzin was getting older and it would be easier on the staff, which Kai was grateful and disappointed with. On the one hand, he wouldn't have to put up with any of the regular stuffy guests, but on the other… he'd have to spend more time with Jinora, which wasn't necessarily a flaw, but quietly asking her to dance and being able to blend in with the crowd was completely out of the question, now.

He took a few cookies anyway and joined the rest of the family in the library, where plenty of the crew was milling around too. Sudhir and Zedd were engaged in a game of cards with a nervous and excited Momo watching on. Meelo was talking animatedly to Lefty, who was sitting comfortably in an armchair and trying and failing not to laugh. Pema was dancing with Yung, while Tenzin was sitting next to Otaku, probably talking about scholarly things.

It was small, and simple, and basically perfect.

He slipped away as he took in the scene, before making his way into the gardens. Maybe for a cigarette, as an excuse, because even after everything, he didn't always feel like he belonged where things were perfect. That he'd mess it up somehow. But even with the insecurities in his head, he couldn't find the craving for the cigarette in his hand.

"What are you doing out here?" Jinora's voice was soft and curious, as he turned around to see her standing behind him, and his heart constricted at the open look on her face, and how well her dress fit her, but mostly at the fact she'd noticed and followed him out.

"I don't know, really," he admitted with a shrug, as she came to stand beside him. "Just… needed air, I guess. You?"

She smiled slightly, tucking her hair behind her ears. "You know why I'm here."

"I'm okay. Thanks for checking on me."

"You're welcome, but that's not quite what I meant," she chuckled. She looked around at the gardens wistfully, hugging her arms to her chest. "There are so many memories here."

"Yeah, there is. It...makes me feel safe, even if it also makes me a little sad."

"I know what you mean." She glanced at her feet. "This place...still feels like it's ours."

"My room feels like that sometimes. In good and bad ways."

"So does mine." She swallowed. "It's been good to see you again."

He smiled. "It's been good to see you, too. And you were right, like you usually are. Your family really does love me, regardless of us."

Jinora gave him a small smile, looking at the ground. "Yeah, well, I'm not always right, but you already knew that." She looked up when Kai held out his hand. "What?"

"Dance with me?"

She shook her head, still smiling. "Kai," she said, exasperatedly fond. "We don't even have any music."

"We don't need any." He gestured his hand a little. "Well?"

"I don't know…"

"You don't have to if you don't want to, but if this is because of...us, then...it's just two old friends, dancing."

She paused, then slowly placed her hand in his. "Alright, then."

He kept a reasonable amount of distance between them, humming what she could only assume was a pirate tune under his breath, but found herself stepping closer. Because of the cold, she reasoned, as their eyes met.

"What're you humming?" she asked quietly.

"Just a pirate song."

"I figured that much," she said dryly.

"It's an old one," he elaborated, the tips of his ears turning red. "For the dancing and the dreaming. It's...typically used at pirate weddings." His throat felt dry. "It was just the first tune that came to mind. Lefty and Bansi were singing it at our last music night a couple weeks ago."

"I see." She leaned forward and rested her chin on his shoulder, and he held her closer. He was so warm, she'd nearly forgotten. "Well it sounds nice," she said softly, and he resumed humming, angling his head so it was more into her ear, his breath warm on the shell of it.

He stiffened slightly when he heard the first bells chime inside, indicating the countdown until midnight, but she curled her fingers into his jacket, and he loosed a long breath. "Jinora," he murmured, "can I kiss you the way we meant to, our first New Year's Eve?"

It took her a moment to find the memory, but once she did she nodded. "Yes." She was still as he pressed a warm, chaste kiss to her cheek, his lips lingering on her skin before he slowly pulled away.

"Thank you," he said softly.

"Thank you," she echoed, and he nodded.

"Happy New Year, Jin."

She smiled slightly, although her eyes were bright. "Happy New Year, Kai."

He took his time in pulling away, not that she minded, and they walked back to the house together in silence.


	20. The Fall of Ba Sing Se

Chapter Twenty: The Fall of Ba Sing Se

The impending start of a new term always made Jinora a little restless, ever since she'd started school. It was probably why she went into the kitchen to make hot chocolate about a half hour before midnight, although she didn't expect to see Kai there, too, heating up a kettle.

"Oh, hey," he said, turning around to face her.

She folded a hand over the trimmings of the doorway. "Hey. What are you doing here?"

"Just wanted something to help me sleep. I was doing paperwork."

"Down at the ship?"

"No, I'm staying here for tonight, actually, in one of the guest rooms. I uh…" He blushed. "Wanted to make sure I was here in the morning to see you off. We both have early starts—we were gonna take the Waterbender into the Yangchen Harbour, so…" he shrugged, hands in his pockets, and her heart melted.

"Thank you. You don't have to do that."

"I know, but I want to. We're...kind-of friends now, right?"

She smiled slightly. "That's an...adequate term."

"You want some hot cocoa? I can put more water in the kettle."

"Oh, sure. Thanks." Jinora took the cookie jar off the top shelf, then set it down on the table. She opened it and pulled one out for herself. "Since the kids aren't here," she said, and Kai smiled easily, grabbing a cookie for himself before pouring more water into the kettle.

"So," he said, "what are your plans for second semester?"

"Try to narrow down a research topic," she admitted. "After my fourth year I have to pick something to study that goes along with my major, to get a specialized degree. I'm just trying to narrow down the area I want to study the history of."

"You went to the Fire Nation once, right?" Kai said, leaning against the table. "The summer before we met? You learned a bit of the language. You could go back."

She smiled. "I could," she agreed, and sighed a little. "I can't believe you remember that."

"I remember everything about you, Jin."

She pushed away the way her aching heart swelled, her smile growing smaller. "You're still a flirt, I see."

His throat turned dry. "Not to anyone but you."

"Kai…" She bit her lip. "You can't say things like that, not when… I'm trying to learn how to be okay without you. You can't keep…" Her throat tightened.

"I'm just being honest," he said. "But I'm sorry, if it makes anything harder, it's just—I don't like being broken up with you anymore than you do, and I know it's probably unfair for me to say that considering I'm the one who ended things, but I didn't want to, and—aren't you supposed to be learning how to also be okay being with me?"

"I guess," she admitted. "It's...confusing."

"Being okay can be confusing," he said, and Jinora managed a small smile. "I...I still want you in my life, you know. Even if we can't be together, yet."

"I do too," she said. "I just don't want to do the same things I was before. I'm getting better, I'm...spreading my dependence across to other people, so I don't end up putting so much on you. It's getting easier, and it's nice, getting closer with friends that I didn't used to open up to as much before, but… I don't know. I know I'm not where I want to be yet."

"Well...you're already doing really well, from what I can tell. Does...does getting better have any room for us being friends?"

"I think so," she said slowly. "I'm just trying to be careful to not fall into old habits. Having you in my life again would involve more things, including trying to trust you more, and…" She sighed. "I don't want to mess things up again."

"I know how that feels," he said quietly. "But you know what the most important thing is?"

"What?"

"Reminding yourself that it's not the end of the world if you do mess up. Recovery and change doesn't have to be linear to be worthwhile. I still have bad days and I still struggle with being happy, sometimes, but that's okay. I don't have to be at my best to be worthwhile."

"I just don't want to hurt you again."

"And I don't want to hurt you again. But we always kind of knew we would, didn't we? But we'd be worth it, anyway."

She smiled softly. "That's true. And we always heal more than we hurt, anyway. Even talking to you, right now, is...kind of healing."

Kai took her hands in his. "If you ever want to talk, about what you're learning and talking about with Dr. Khun, I don't want or need to be your only emotional pillar of support but… you can still talk to me. Just because I'm not the only one who's always here for you doesn't mean that I'm not here at all. If you're ready, or want to, or whatever."

Jinora looked down at their hands, and held his more firmly. "Maybe… once it's been a year—I feel like that will be long enough—but I could start writing you, again?"

He smiled. "I'd like that a lot."

"I guess this is a thing with us then," she said with a small smile. It felt so good to be unable to do anything but smile when she looked at him, now. "Talking about things that make us sort of sad while we have hot chocolate."

Kai squeezed her hands. "We'll have happier memories of having hot chocolate together, in the future. I promise."

She scooted closer to him, lacing their fingers together. "Then I believe you. Trust, remember?"

His soft gaze met hers as he smiled "Yeah. Trust." He squeezed her hand gently, his eyes flickering to her lips for a moment before he forced them back to her eyes, but it didn't go unmissed by her.

"Kai?" she breathed.

"Sorry," he uttered, just as quietly. "Moment of weakness."

Her throat went dry. "Not nearly weak enough," she murmured, and leaned in to close the distance between them. Her lips brushed his, and he began to lean in to properly kiss her when the kettle squealed behind them. Jinora leapt away from him, her hands folded tightly in her lap. "Sorry," she said quickly, and Kai rose to turn off the blasted stove.

"Don't be." He ran a hand through his hair, frowning to himself when he turned back to her. "If anything I should be sorry, I'm the one hindering your growth—"

"No, it… It'll be okay, we'll be okay. We...we're just up late, and...emotions can run high, on little sleep. That's all." She tried for a smile. "It won't happen again."

He handed her one of the mugs with the hot milk and the hot chocolate powder stirred in, careful not to let their fingers brush. "We can still...try to be friends, right?" he asked, and Jinora's smile grew more genuine.

"Of course we can. And even if we aren't _just_ friends, I—I think that's okay too. I mean, we never really have been before. I don't think we can suddenly turn off our feelings for each other."

Kai gave her a small relieved smile, as he took his own mug and walked under the doorway. "Good. Because I know I'm still in love with you."

Jinora joined him with a similarly small smile, her mug clasped in one hand, and she knew both of them had noticed the mistletoe hanging above them. "I'm still in love with you too," she said softly, and squeezed his shoulder with her free hand. "Goodnight, Kai."

He watched her walk away with pride in his eyes. "Goodnight, Jin."

####

Kai came back to Air Temple Island a few days after Jinora left to officially say goodbye to the rest of her family. Ikki was wearing the dress he'd gotten her, and Rohan gave him a big hug, and Meelo gave him a begrudging one. Tenzin pulled him aside once Pema had handed off a basket of sweet buns to Yung and given both of them a hug, and Kai followed the former Governor up into the gardens. Was this going to be about his attempt at being re-elected again?

"Sir," he began. "What's—"

"I just wanted to say," Tenzin's beard twitched, "that I'm glad you know you're welcome here, regardless of the state of yours and Jinora's relationship."

"O-oh. Yeah. I know that."

"And… how are you and my daughter? She said you were the one that ended things, for the best, but you both seem rather broken up about well, your breakup."

Kai looked at him. "She...she seems to be doing okay. I mean, she's doing really well, with therapy, and school, and...I'm really proud of her." He sighed. "So I think we're both working hard, to find our way back to each other, when we're ready and can make things work better. I never wanted to break up with her, but...if it means that she's opening up more to other people that love her and becoming better and happier, then it's worth it, however long it takes."

Tenzin smiled softly. "I'm glad my daughter has someone in her life that cares so much about her, and I'm glad she cares just as much about you. But you're sure you're okay?"

"Yeah. I mean, I miss her, and it's not easy," Kai admitted, "but we're learning how to...be friends, again, and...I think we'll be okay. And I think I'm okay." He managed a small smile. "Thank you, for still accepting me into your family after...everything."

"Kai, there's nothing you could do that would keep us from accepting you. Pema and I accepted you as our son, and our son-in-law, many years ago."

Kai's eyes grew moist, and he let out an appreciative chuckle. "That...means a lot to me. Thank you, sir."

"I think after all these years, Kai, it's time you started calling me Tenzin."

Kai puffed out a laugh. "I don't know if I can kick the habit, sir."

Tenzin smiled. "Fair enough." He placed a hand on his shoulder. "Take care, son."

Kai stepped forward and pulled him into a hug. Tenzin was just tall enough for him to put his chin on the man's bony shoulder. "You too, Tenzin."

###

"I got a letter from Jinora," Shen Shen said, curled up on half of Lee's bed. She'd had business in ZaoFu visiting other friends and associates and had invited herself to stay with him, not that he completely minded. She mostly let him do as much studying as he needed, given that he was graduating this year, so long as he gave her a bit of attention.

"And?" he said, looking up from his textbook beside her. She was wearing a nice silk nightgown that was more lingerie than anything else. None of their friends knew that they were sleeping together. It wasn't a secret exactly, and they weren't lying, but they also knew there was no point worrying or involving anyone else when this would never amount to anything.

"She just got settled back in her apartment, after a relaxing winter break at home. And...you can guess who was there, too."

Lee tried not to show any obvious reaction. "Kai?"

"She says that they're not quite friends yet, but still on their way to it." Shen Shen reached over and patted his cheek affectionately. "And come now dear, you know you can react whatever way you want around me."

"Even if they're broken up, he still loves her," Lee said. He wasn't entirely sure how he felt about the man, either. Sometimes it felt like he was over him—Kai no longer haunted his thoughts in the same way, and in fact, when there were no potent reminders of him Lee barely thought of him at all, being so busy—but other times his feelings were so strong they were suffocating.

"Well yes, but that doesn't mean you can't be heartsick too, Sono."

"I guess that's true," he mumbled.

"Of course it is." Shen Shen turned towards him. "Now, do you have any time for me tonight? I am going back to the city soon and you have missed me…"

Even if he didn't like her in that way, Lee did know he found her attractive, and his body had made that readily apparent on more than one occasion since they had started up their arrangement. And she did look lovely in her nightgown…

Lee set his textbook on his bedside table and marked his page. "Come here you." He couldn't help but smile as she settled on his lap. The silk of her nightgown was as soft as it looked. "You really are a vixen, Shen." He rested his hands on her hips, and Shen Shen pressed her lips to the corner of his jaw.

"And you are surprisingly good at taking one." She toyed with the waistband of his pants. "Now get these pants off honey, and show me a good time?"

Lee lifted her slightly so he could sit up, then lowered her onto her back, pressing his lips firmly to hers. "If you insist," he smiled.

###

Kai filled his time in between liberating slave ships sparring with Nukko and Skoochy, and then making them train Momo when they inevitably lost and he had paperwork to take care of. They went to the Fire Nation for Pabu's sister's wedding and Kai got a book about Fire Nation flora and fauna he thought Jinora might like, whenever the opportunity arose to give it to her, as summer blended into fall and he wondered when, and if, she'd write him.

He'd started visiting Dr. Aput every time he was somewhat near St. Bosco's (Daw's family lived on a nearby river) to make sure his resolve to fix his own issues wasn't falling by the wayside, and that he'd be ready too, if and when Jinora was ready to come back to him. The doctor had been reassuring, to say the least.

"Given that Miss Gyatso is going through what you know to be a rough time, and one you purposely can't involve yourself in by helping her, it makes sense that you would be worried about her. Your concern is reasonable and it hasn't distracted you from your other obligations or relationships, and you were always in a good place whenever the two of you had to go long distance with her at Ba Sing Se in the past. You're handling your issues very well, Kai. Just remember that it always takes conscious work."

And he did, as the search for his birth records proved fruitless and it made him want to break something. There was a lead of the records from Gunthra's orphanage in Geishou being kept in Omashu's general library, but it had been a dead end, and any of the various leads since then had all turned up to be false. Even all of Tenzin's efforts lead to nothing, with several apologetic updates in his letters.

When he got a letter from Jinora in mid-September, it felt like another spark of happiness had returned to his life. It was short but he didn't care because her handwriting was still beautiful and he could still so clearly hear her voice, smooth and sweet and full of love.

 _Dear Kai,_

 _It seems strange to think I'm entering my last official year of university, and more wonderful still that I think I have a real shot at being valedictorian. If you could make it to my graduation in June that would be wonderful, but if not, I more than understand. I heard from my parents that you went to a wedding in the Fire Nation this past summer (I'd love to know firsthand what the customs are like) and I was lucky enough to go to Yin and Malae's wedding this summer, too. It was a beautiful ceremony and it's so clear how in love and happy they are. It made me think of you, too._

 _I can't tell you how happy I am to be writing to you again. I miss you so much, and I know I really am getting better everyday. It can be difficult, but I am learning that one day we can coexist and belong with each other without belonging to each other, and it does get easier everyday, with more time to get used to it._

 _Dr. Khun has said that as long as these letters are helping more than hindering (and I promise I'll let you know if they start hindering, since I know that's the first thought on your mind) we can write whatever want to each other, so I might as well say it._

 _I love you, and I miss being able to show it. I miss kissing you. I miss having you inside me. I miss being pinned under you, or being held in your arms. I obviously miss more than that, but that's all I can admit to without it hindering me. Sex with you was always this hazy sort of bliss when I think back on it—vivid only while it was directly happening, you know?—and it's not like my dreams will let me forget it anyway, so... there it is._

 _I love you. I miss us, but... I'm okay, I guess. Happy, just...not nearly as happy as I am when I'm with you._

 _Love,  
_ _Jinora_

Kai set the letter down with a shaky breath, glad he was alone in his room. It had been far more than he had expected, or perhaps even hoped for, and he wondered if she'd been harbouring her desires with the intensity that he had, since their almost kiss at winter break over eight months ago. He took a deep breath, before quickly pulling out a fresh piece of paper. There was a sort of freedom in his wonderment too, that he could finally say what he wanted, what he had been keeping solely to himself.

 _Dear Jinora,_

 _I know the feeling. We're always busy here but it doesn't stop me from missing you or dreaming about you in the slightest—although dreaming about you is always a good thing, if disappointing, when I wake up and remember that we're apart and can't be that way even when we are together, but I guess it's true what they say. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and my faith in us grow stronger._

 _Just promise me you'll let me know about if I'm hindering you more than helping. I always want to help... Even if I miss you so much. I miss playing with your hair and your smile. I miss the softness of your lips and feeling how much you wanted me, between your legs. I miss kissing you there, too. I miss being inside you and believing in God._

 _I still believe, of course. It's just harder to come by now. Everything's easier when I'm with you, or at least it was, but I know it can be that way again. I know we can find our way back to each other, now that I'm back from the Fire Nation (it was beautiful, and made me think of you. I even bought a book I think you might like.)_

 _I'll see you at Thanksgiving, hopefully, and we'll make love in my dreams._

 _Always yours,  
_ _Kai_

He folded up the letter, put it into the envelope, addressed it as quickly as he could, before setting it to the side to send with a messenger hawk later. As for right now…

He got up and rummaged frantically through his underwear drawer, his fingers closing around the three pictures they'd taken while she had stayed in his room, and he took out the picture of her in the middle of masturbating, the black and white making the contrast between her skin and her hair even more striking. He pushed down his pants and took his length in his hand.

This would do for now.

###

What you say to your ex when you're technically friends, and have mutually admitted to masturbating about the other, was significantly less awkward than Kai had expected when they saw each other at Thanksgiving and winter break, respectively. Being friends was far easier than decidedly not being friends, even if they were careful to not be too close to each other, or alone together for very long. If her first and following letters had been enough to set him aflame, it was nothing compared to when they were alone and she was as beautiful as she always was, and still biting her lip as a habit.

Still, they managed, through polite and personal conversation and taking walks around the gardens when it wasn't too cold, to be the way they used to be. He even gave her the Fire Nation book for the Spirit Festival, and she gave him another tin of sword polish, now that his sword needed it (and the one she'd given him years ago had run out).

"I'm happy we're friends again," she said, when they sat out on one of the garden's cold benches, and watched the ships sail out of the harbour at the last sunset of the break. The Waterbender would be doing the same the following morning.

"I am too," he said, his hand inching towards hers. Both their palms were pressed against the stone littered with snow. "You're sure it's okay?"

Jinora nodded, turning towards him. "It's helping me learn how to have you in my life again, just in a healthier way."

He took her hand, and squeezed her fingers. "Good. And uh… about your graduation—I'm sorry I won't be able to come. Spring and summer is really busy for us this year, since we got some new clients."

She pursed her lips, her face falling a little, but she nodded and he knew her smile was genuine. "I understand. I know you want to be there, and that's enough." She touched her promise ring with her free hand. "You'll be there in spirit, right?"

He smiled. "Walking you down that stage in spirit and hearing you make that valedictorian speech—which I know you're going to get—and everything."

Jinora laughed softly, and it sent a familiar flurry of butterflies in his stomach. "I'm glad to hear that you and the crew are doing so well. I know how hard you all work."

"We try. It's just nice to finally be getting back up to speed with other legal merchants."

She smiled, squeezing his hand gently. "I'm proud of all of you. Especially you."

The tips of his ears turned red. "Thanks, Jin. I'm proud of you too." He curved his palm into hers. "Have you decided on a research project yet?"

"I think I want to research the area of the Gold Coast."

He brightened. "That's great."

She let go of his hand, blushing as she tucked her hair behind her ears. "That's actually something I wanted to talk to you about. I was speaking with my professor who will be overlooking the research I collect, and he said the best way to do it would be from a ship, you know, that travels to all the different places. The ship would receive a payment, of course, for their services, and I would mostly just be going along with their route and they'd maybe have to make a few adjustments, to go to the places I really need to so I can conduct my research properly, but…" She bit her lip, looking up at him shyly. "I was thinking the Waterbender would be a perfect fit, and you would get money of course, and—what do you think?" she said nervously.

Kai's brain slowly processed everything, and the first (stupid) question he blurted out was, "How long would it take?" They both winced, and he quickly added, "I'm just curious—I-I think it's a great idea, I just—"

"It'd be for around four to six months," she said.

He nodded, swallowing hard. Jinora, on the Waterbender, with him, for six months. His heart started pounding. "And—you're sure we can handle being around each other for that long? I mean, with the way we are now?"

Jinora's blush deepended. "I was thinking about that too, and the research would only start this time next year, so… if I could prove I was ready, or—once I make sure whether I'm ready or not—we—we could give us, another shot?"

Kai looked at her with wide eyes. "U-um, yeah. Sure."

"...Unless you don't want to?"

He took a breath. "Of course I want you around no matter what. Maybe that's one of the problems. I just—I got so used to thinking we had to wait, I think I just have to adjust my thinking, now. Make sure I'm ready for it. If that makes sense. I love you but I—I don't want this to hurt us again."

Jinora gave him a small, sad smile. "I understand. It's a year from now, so...so we both still have plenty of time to figure things out, Captain. I can look for another ship, it's fine."

"You can still be on the Waterbender," he said quickly. "I mean—it'd be good money, right? And I'm sure we hit all the places you need to go?" She slowly nodded. "I just think—maybe we should stay like this, while you're on the ship, and then maybe once you're done your project, we can think things over a bit more? I don't want us to interfere with your research, if we try too soon and end up…" If it had hurt like hell to breakup with her, he couldn't imagine how painful it would be if she broke up with him.

She nodded again. "That makes sense. Okay," she said decidedly. "Once I know all the details I'll send them back to you in a couple of weeks, and we can figure it out." She stuck out her hand. "Deal?"

He smiled, and took her hand, shaking it firmly. "Deal." He didn't let go for a long while, and Jinora looked at him curiously, when he pulled her into a tight hug. "Sorry," he mumbled, burying his face in her shoulder. "Tell me if I should let go."

"No, this is alright," she murmured, melting into him.

"Not hindering?" he checked.

"No. Helping." She hugged him tighter. "I missed your hugs."

He smiled softly. "I missed yours too. I'll make time to bring you home at the end of the spring, if you want."

"Yeah." She snuggled into him. "Yeah, I'd like that."

"We won't be apart for as long this time," he murmured. "I promise."

Jinora slowly let go, smiling widely at him. "I know. I trust you."

###

The rest of the crew had gone to bed, Kai on lookout in mid-April when he saw a messenger hawk swoop over and land on the ship. His brow furrowed, the bird's beak glittering in the moonlight as it perched itself on the ship's railing. Who was sending them news this late? Korra, maybe? But if she was, it was probably something urgent.

Kai climbed down the rope grid, and went over to the bird, stroking the feathers under its chin for a moment, before it extended his leg and he took out the letter. It was from the Gyatsos? He recognized Pema's handwriting, from her handwritten recipes she'd gifted to Daw one of these years, but the urgency in her slanted characters were unmistakable, the letter being dated of today.

 _Kai,_

 _Terrible news has just broadcasted itself from the radio a few hours ago, around 3 pm. There's been a coup in Ba Sing Se and the Earth Queen has been assassinated, and her secret police have been overthrown. The city's descending into chaos and the peasants are furious. There are rumours they're taking citizens from the upper ring hostage to sell and demand ransom for. We're worried Jinora might be one of them._

 _Tenzin's booked a carriage ride to the city for tomorrow morning, the earliest we could get it, but we wanted to let you know, since we know that you're also closer to the city._

 _Please, find Jinora, and bring her home. Keep her safe._

 _Love,  
_ _Pema and Tenzin_

Kai's chest constricted, his heart pounding madly. There was a numb shock spreading through him, before a dark heavy dread settled in his stomach, and something jarred him into action.

He ran below deck, the letter still clutched in his hand as the bird flew away. He banged on both the crew doors, shaking anyone awake as the crew slowly roused.

"Are we under attack?" Nukko asked groggily, his dark hair undone and framing his face.

"We need to turn the ship around," said Kai fiercely, as he gathered all his men in the dining room. He put the letter on the table and let it make the rounds. "Skoochy, set the the sails, and Otaku, see if you can get our old radio working. We're heading to Ba Sing Se."

* * *

 **A/N:** The next chapter is gonna be delayed due to a _certain anon_ , who apparently needs the reminder that i update _what_ i want, _when_ i want, and am doing all of my fics (including writing time, editing, plotting, and general brain space and emotional labour) _for free_. Also a warning that the next chapter is a bit shorter than usual (only a bit over 5k) and it ends on a cliffhanger. That being said, if you have a tumblr and are dying for the next chapter, message me and I can hook you up with at least an important snippet or two.

And am I being petty? Yes. Is Spiritypowers equally as petty on my behalf? Yes. Do I also pour a lot of time and energy into all my work because it's supposed to make me happy, first and foremost? **_Yes._**

So, that's all that has to be said, then.


	21. Reunion

Chapter Twenty-One: Reunion

Kai was a nervous, angry mess on the five day trip to Ba Sing Se, and his mood didn't improve by the time they had actually reached the city. They couldn't dock at their usual ending point down the river, and Kai enlisted a select team of the crew members to accompany him: Skoochy, Otaku, Appa, Nukko, and Tyyo.

"We'll be back once we have her," Kai told his crew, as they set off in a carriage, restless and angry on the ride into the city.

It was even more chaotic than Pema had said. Some part of the wall had crumbled and less than half the trains going in between each ring were even running, and they had to bend over backwards to get on without the proper passports and tickets. They had to check Jinora's apartment first, which was honestly where he was hoping she was, safe and sound if scared. If she wasn't, they could look at the places she might've been trapped in when everything started, like the Yeshe Library. And if she wasn't anywhere she could be safe, then they'd see if there were any signs anywhere of where she could have been taken.

His heart dropped to his stomach when he got to her apartment. He didn't even have to open the door; it was already smashed open, to a completely upturned, looted room. He slammed his fist against the door, letting out a frustrated growl, only clamping his mouth shut when he heard the noise of shuffling coming from the bedroom, and drew his sword.

He crept towards the bedroom door, thinking of the nights he and Jinora had shared there, fury flaring in his chest at whoever had sacked her home, whoever was intruding upon it, before he flung the door open and found a long faced man going through her drawers.

The man gave him a somewhat sleazy grin—maybe he thought he was just another looter—until Kai pinned him against the wall with a dagger pressed against his throat. "Where is she?!" Kai demanded. " _Tell me where she is or I'll slit your fucking throat!_ "

"I—I don't know—" the man wheezed, and Kai loosened his hold by a fraction.

"There was a young woman who lived here," Skoochy hissed. "Slim, brunette. She's not here anymore. You see who took her?"

"I'm just taking things, I didn't take her—"

"But did you see who did?" Appa said, cracking his knuckles.

The man gulped. "I think it was Shady Shin. He's—he's the head of a gang around these parts, he took most of the rich folks from this apartment, I think."

Kai levelled his sword, glowering. "You," he said, dangerously calm, "are you going to tell us every fucking thing you know about Shady Shin, including where to find him."

###

Jinora was miserable and aching, leaning against the wall with her hands bound. The warehouse—or at least she could only suppose it was part of a warehouse—was mostly empty now except for herself and her captors. The dozen or so people they had taken as well had already been let go after receiving the ransom, mostly from family members who lived close to the city but not in it, even if the released victims were expected to find their own way out of the hellhole.

Jinora only hoped her family would send the payment soon, even if her stomach churned at how high a sum they were asking for, and then maybe she could get a carriage if she found a kind stranger, or if she sent a letter to Kai. Her throat was dry and she didn't trust these men at all. The other hostages had been blatantly made fun of for their appearance, but she knew the men found her attractive, and it made her want to throw up every time she let herself dwell on it for too long.

The money would come soon and she could fight her way out if she absolutely had to. She still remembered how to fight with a sword, even if in this case it would likely be a stick, or how to throw a good punch or two.

She just wished, beyond that she was safe at home, that she wasn't so hungry and tired and thirsty all of the time. In the week they'd had her, roughly, they had barely fed her or gave her water, and sleeping like this, sitting up with ropes digging into her skin, was hardly comfortable. She had a crick in her neck that flared up with greater intensity every time she woke up, and she was always tired.

Hopefully she'd be back with her family soon. Hopefully.

She glanced up when she heard some noise from outside the prisoner's area, a light shining through the small window in the door. Someone was fighting? Someone was losing. Had another group of kidnappers come to raid whoever was left?

There was a heavy clang at the door—the sound of a lock being broken—but she couldn't find it in herself to stand up. If it was another group coming to steal her away, maybe she could escape when they transported her out of wherever she was. She could pretend to be exhausted (which admittedly wasn't far from the truth) and make a break for it when the chance came and they'd underestimated her.

The door swung open, and she thought her fatigue was finally making her hallucinate. Kai?

His eyes widened with recognition when he saw her, and he ran to her, pulling the cell keys out of his pocket—must've gotten them in the fight—and threw her cell door open.

" _Kai_ ," she managed, her throat dry. She wanted to jump up and hug him, maybe kiss him—it was alright in this case, right?—but she could only muster up the energy to lift her arms toward him, melting into him when he picked her up in a hug and held her against his chest.

"You're okay now," he whispered into her hair. "God, Jinora, I was—you're safe now, we're going to take you back to the ship and take you back home. I got you. I'm sorry I took so long. Can you walk?"

She took a shaky step forward, rapidly blinking back tears of relief, and only fell further into him. "S-sorry—"

He shushed her, and she buried her face in his warm chest, in his steadiness, as he reached down and cut her ropes. "It's okay, I can just carry you. It's gonna be okay." He scooped her up bridal style, cradling her as she let her exhaustion finally takeover.

She trusted him.

###

She was warm when she woke up. Slowly, Jinora opened her eyes, and the ache in her neck was mostly gone. Wherever she was felt familiar, and soft, and warm. There was a gentle rocking and the sheets smelt like the sea and something earthier and warmer. Kai. There was a calloused palm gently holding her hand, the one that dangled off the side of the bed, and she realized she was in his room, in his bed, on the Waterbender, safe and heading home at last.

"Hey," he said gently, running a thumb over her knuckles. "How are you feeling?"

"T-thirsty," she managed, her stomach gurgling loudly.

He smiled a little, even if she was disappointed when he let go of her hand. He felt like her anchor to the better reality she was now in, like she'd wake up back in that cold cell if she didn't hold on.

"Longshot said you probably would be," Kai said, taking a glass of water from his bedside table, and handing it to her. There was a straw, which was she grateful for, as her arms felt heavy and weak all at once, and she didn't want to slosh it all over herself, or the...new top she was wearing? "There's soup too, when you're ready for it."

"Who's clothes am I…" she trailed off. It was a relief to be out of her dress after a week of wearing it, but she couldn't help but be curious, even if she knew all the crew were perfect gentlemen and nothing but respectful.

The tips of his ears turned red. "Your old clothes were pretty dirty, so… I took them off and washed you up, just a bit. You're wearing one of my shirts, now."

She rested back against the pillows, taking a long drink from her straw, before saying, "Thank you."

"I wrote a letter to your family too, once we got you back here. Sent it last night, so they should be getting it soon."

Jinora took another long drink, a little bit of water dribbling over her bottom lip when she let go of the straw. "Kai," she said, her voice still weak, "can I have some of the soup now?"

He leaned up and kissed her forehead, before bringing the bowl of soup into her lap. It was a warm and comforting weight, with a yellowish hue and smelled as good as anything Daw had ever cooked, rich and full of vegetables.

"Of course, love," he said softly. "Daw made your favourite. Carrot-onion soup."

Jinora tested her strength, and was glad when it turned out she was able to feed herself in small spoonfuls. She had to go slow, which was probably the best for her deprived stomach, and Kai mostly watched her eat in silence, until the spoon hit the bottom of the empty bowl with a soft clink, and he went and put it on his desk before returning to her.

"How did you find me?" she asked, when her fingers fumbled against his, and he took her hand again.

"Found someone trying to rob your apartment. We were able to recover most of your belongings, but—"

"It's okay. I didn't have much of monetary value anyway."

"We interrogated the guy, he said you were probably taken by Shady Shin. We tracked down some of his followers, which led us to where you were being held, and…" He search her face, eyes full of concern. "Do you remember anything?"

She swallowed. "I...I was trying to blockade the doors and windows. The university was on shutdown, but I'm not on the main campus, so… I blocked off the door, but someone came in through a window I didn't get to, on the fire escape. We fought, I—" She smiled slightly. "I did manage to punch a guy in the nose," she said, and he chuckled softly, "but there were too many, and… It's kind of a blur from there."

"Did anyone hurt you?"

"Beyond tying me up, no." Her smile flickered, and his jaw clenched. "They were crude though. Made comments. I—I was so scared."

Kai squeezed her hand. "You're safe now. I'll never let anyone hurt you again."

Jinora almost smiled, but tears pricked at her eyes instead. "That's a hard promise to keep."

"And one I intend on keeping, no matter what." He pressed a soft kiss to her knuckles. "I was so scared I'd lost you."

"When you showed up, I thought you were just another dream." She scooted closer to him. "Too good to be true."

He cupped her cheek with his other hand, stroking his thumb over its curve. "I will always come back for you. _Always_."

Jinora's eyes watered again, and she leaned up and kissed him, taking him by surprise. His mouth was as warm and chapped as she remembered, but she quickly pulled away, averting her eyes. "S-sorry, I know we're not supposed to—"

He kissed her, taking her face in his hands and holding her gently, even as he sucked on her bottom lip until they were both gasping for breath. "Not hindering?" he asked hoarsely.

"No," she managed, barely finding her voice. "Helping." She melted into him when he kissed her again, and she threaded her fingers through his hair as he joined her on the bed, their mouths softening when he wrapped his arms around her waist and she snuggled up to him. "I love you," she murmured, drawing away with a slight yawn.

Kai tucked her hair behind her ears. "I love you too, Jin." He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, holding her close. "Sleep well."

She closed her eyes, sinking into his warmth. For the first time in a while she slept soundly, wrapped up in his arms.

###

She woke up to the smell of cinnamon, and opened her eyes to see Kai coming in with a full tray.

"Good, you're awake," he said, and Jinora smiled brightly, gently pushing herself into a sitting position.

"Kai… You brought breakfast?"

He nodded, setting the tray down on his desk. "Longshot wasn't sure if you'd be up to pancakes and waffles yet, so I brought some maple cinnamon oatmeal, and some lychee juice."

She smiled, warmth blooming in her chest as he placed the bowl of oatmeal in her hands, their fingers brushing in the exchange. He sat down next to her, brushing her hair out of her face.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, his voice soft.

"Much better than yesterday," she confirmed, blowing on a spoonful of oatmeal before eating it. "God I missed Daw's cooking." She ate the rest of her meal, largely in silence except for the clinking of her spoon and the bottom of her glass against the tray he'd brought in, when she finally broke it, panic filling her for a moment. "Wait, the Fongs, and—"

Kai was quick to reassure her. "I had Skoochy check their library and he and Tyyo found their home address. There were no signs of a struggle and they had a hard time breaking the lock. It doesn't look like anything was taken, even if the windows were smashed. You said their daughter works in the police force, right? She probably knew what was coming and got Mr and Mrs Fong out in time." He brushed her hair out of her eyes. "But I've sent a letter anyway, just to check up. And you said your friends Min and Yalae lived in the middle ring?"

"Yin and Malae, yes," she corrected quietly, her heart rate going down now that she knew Aika, Tullik, and even the grumpy Misun, were likely safe. "I know they were planning on leaving the city anyway… they graduated early back in January and had finally saved enough for their honeymoon." Her shoulders sagged in relief as she remembered. "They left the city a couple days before everything went wrong." A small smile played across her lips. "I guess they just missed it."

She watched Kai swallow, before he said, softly, "I missed you."

Jinora looked up at him with a small smile, and rested a free hand over the curve of his jaw. "I missed you too. And, thankfully, we're not a rioting city." She leaned in and kissed him chastely, if briefly, before pulling away. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine." He leaned into her touch. "Less tired. I—I couldn't really sleep, when you were missing." His eyes flickered to her lips for a moment. "Are you sure that...this is okay?"

"I didn't know if I would ever see you again," she said quietly, "and Dr. Khun said allowing yourself to feel and act on your emotions is a good thing, as long as it's with a healthy coping mechanism. If I woke up and you hadn't been in the room, I think I would have been terrified—my head is still trying to convince my heart that you're really here, and that I'm with you." She ghosted her lips over his, nipping lightly. "Please, Kai. Convince me."

He cupped her face, his hands shaking as his other one found the curve of her hip. "Jin," he breathed, "please don't—tempt me, it's already hard enough—I don't want you to regret it—your reputation, your recovery—"

She smoothed a hand down over his neck, underneath the collar of his shirt. "Just once won't hurt. We'll give each other everything, one more time, to get it out of our systems, and then we can go back to our friendship… My reputation is already in shambles, and I've learned not to care, and being friends again has helped me make the biggest leaps forward in my recovery…" She moved closer, pressing her body to his. "I won't regret it. I could never regret being with you, even when you broke my heart or we fought or it ended badly. Never. Please, baby?"

Kai slowly pulled her closer, his eyes dropping to her mouth. "I want you," he said thickly, "so badly… are you sure?"

Jinora slanted her mouth over his, kissing him firmly. "I love you," she said, sighing when he leaned in to resume it. "I want you."

Kai drew away from her, undoing the front of his pants and pushing them down. Jinora glanced down at the sight of him, hard and erect, as she rested her forehead against his. She reached down and took him in her hand, stroking him once before going to remove her own pants and underwear.

Kai let his weight settle over her as they laid on his bed together, his hand cupping her crotch and stroking her entrance as she softly stroked him too. It was so nice to hold her and feel her like this again, warm and safe and knowing they still fit together just as well as they used to.

"I love you too," he murmured, drawing his hand away, and gripping her hip instead. Jinora moaned softly as he entered and filled her, winding her thighs around his hips as he thrusted slowly and softly, yet still deep. He threaded his fingers through her hair, cupping her cheek and stroking its curve as he kissed her.

Jinora let out soft, pleased sounds as they made love, slow and soft, his hands firm and anchoring her to him, to his steadiness and warmth, as he treasured the feeling of being inside her again, snug between her slick, warm walls. Her hands curled into his shirt, holding him close as she buried her face in his neck.

"I love you," she whispered, nuzzling into his skin. "I missed you so much baby."

Kai pressed kisses to her cheek and the underside of her jaw. "I missed you too," he whispered back, holding her tighter. "I missed this so much."

She clenched hard around him with a shudder, and a quiet hoarse cry, moaning as he continued to thrust deep into her once her grip loosened, until he spilled inside her, hot and thick. She clutched at his back, keeping him close when he went to pull away.

She pressed her mouth to his ear. "Not yet. Please. I need… I want you to stay, like this."

His voice was hoarse and hot against her neck, as he slid one hand up the curve of her waist and underneath her shirt. "Let me take this off?" he requested, playing with the hem of her shirt.

Jinora nodded, letting him pull away enough to undo the buttons, before he removed the shirt completely. She closed her eyes when his warm, rough hands cupped her breasts, and laid her hands over his. "God I missed this," she croaked. "I've thought of you so many times baby." She wrapped her arms around his neck, trembling, as she rested her forehead against his. "I am still so in love with you," she murmured, eyes wide as she searched his similarly flushed face.

He softened, and e raised his hand, gently cupping her cheek. "And I'm still in love with you," he said just as tenderly, their eyes locking. "So, so much." He kissed her more softly this time, but still just as desperately, shaping his trembling lips over hers, before he reluctantly drew away. "We should stop, this." He gestured to their bodies.

Jinora brushed a tuft of hair off his forehead, as she took his hand and held it to her heart. "Why, baby?"

"We're… I'm not ready to…" He ran his thumb along the inner curve of her breast. "Sex with you is always wonderful, but I don't know if I'm ready to have it yet without us having a relationship, again, and I… don't know if I'm ready for a relationship again, yet."

Jinora bit her lip, but she nodded slowly. "That's okay. This...this can be the last time we do this, at least for now, and then...whenever we're both ready to be...us, again."

He drew his hand away, and kissed her forehead. "Thank you, Jinora."

"Of course." She gave him a small smile. "You asked me to be more patient, right?"

It was the first time he could look back on the night of their breakup, and smile, as he chuckled lightly. "I did, yeah."

"It's getting easier, now."

He pecked her on the lips, and then pulled out. "Well, I appreciate it no matter what. Hard and easy."

She smiled softly, curling into his side. "I'm willing to do all of it for you. I love you, remember? Relationship or not." She rested her head on his chest. "And… can I stay here with you for the rest of the day? I can take a different room tomorrow."

"It's okay. You stay here, and I'll have the boys clear out the cabin boy's room for me later." He pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"I don't want you to give up your room for me."

"It's okay. The cabin boy's room used to be mine, anyway."

"Really?" It still surprised her that after knowing him for almost seven years, there were still things she didn't know about him. But then again, it was also one of the things she loved about him.

"Yeah. I told you that I had nightmares when I was younger, right?" he asked. She nodded. "Because of that, they let me have a room to myself. I kept waking everyone else up with them. When you got to come into my room, I was already moved into the captain's quarters. It's a little bigger here, and the insulation's a little better, but there's not much difference otherwise. Oh, and that bathroom." He nodded towards the little bathroom door. "It's a lot more convenient."

She smiled at him fondly. "I like learning about you," she murmured.

Kai smiled back at her, even if his eyebrows raised a bit in surprise. "Tell me something I don't know about you, then."

"You know basically everything about me."

"I know a lot about you," he agreed, "but not everything. There's so much that's happened in our lives, and we're always changing." He smiled. "There's always something new to learn. Maybe something that happened when you were at school."

"Well… do you know what my favourite type of weather is?"

"Rain, I think? But only when you get to stay indoors."

She smiled, cocking her head to the side. "You really do remember everything."

"I like listening to you."

Jinora laughed softly. "You're still a sap."

"So come on. Tell me something." He nuzzled into her cheek. "Before we have to go back to not touching each other below the waist?"

She let out another giggle. "Fine. Um… Have I told you my favourite class so far at university yet? In my third year, not first or second?"

"Um...knowing you, it's probably history?"

She grinned. "Which one?"

"There's more than one?"

She laughed. "Yes, silly."

He leaned back against his pillows, and propped his cheek up on his hand, reaching over with his free hand to play with her hair, a gentle smile on his face. "Tell me all about it, then?"

"It's actually a specialized class on everything that happened during the war of the four nations, that divided them all up. All the generals, the different factions that arose because of some of the power vacuums, it's a two year long course I started taking in second year, although that first year was all background and context so it wasn't as much fun, but in third year we got to talk about the after effects, and…" She realized she was rambling and blushed, but Kai simply smiled at her.

"And?"

"You're not bored yet?"

"I could never get bored while listening to you talk about something you love. Besides, this might be your future career, and it's important to you, so it's important to me. I want to be part of your future, yeah?"

Her blush deepened, and she smiled. "Yeah. Well, we got to talk about the after effects, and the social structures that influence how the cultures of the four nations developed, and the particular isolation of the Water Tribes, and—"

Jinora didn't know how long she lay there talking, hours, maybe, Kai occasionally asking questions, but she did know his eyes were open and attentive the entire time.

###

"Jinora!"

Tears built in her eyes when she saw her parents standing near the docks, and she ran down the ramp as quickly as she could, flinging herself into their arms. Meelo hugged her next when she had barely parted from them, his eyes red, before Ikki and Rohan joined in too, followed by her parents again.

Kai stood watching at the foot of the ramp, his hands in his pockets as he smiled, before Pema broke away and hugged him fiercely.

"Thank you."

Kai froze, before returning the hug, resting his chin on Pema's shoulder. "I'll always bring her home," he murmured. "I promise."

She briefly pecked his cheek as she pulled away, then patted it gently, smiling at him with tears in her eyes. As she walked back to her children, Tenzin pulled him into another fierce hug.

"I was so afraid we'd lose both of you," Tenzin said quietly, and tears sprang to Kai's eyes.

"No, sir. We're okay." Kai's voice was tight. "We're okay."

Tenzin kept an arm wrapped around his shoulders, once he pulled away. "Join us for tea, son?"

Kai wiped at his eyes, smiling. "Of course, sir."

###

At first, Kai thought he imagined the knock at his door that night. He'd stayed up in the manor in the room that had once been his, still with a large comfortable mattress and a fancy ensuite bathroom, and snuggled more into his pillow until the knock came again, a little louder this time.

He dragged himself out of bed, running a hand through his bed head, and opened the door. "Jin?" She was standing there, fidgeting with her white nightgown (that left very little to the imagination now that it was in the warmer months) and while not crying, she looked upset.

"Sorry, did I wake you?"

"Nah," he lied. "I got up to go pee. Are you okay?"

She slowly shook her head. "I...I'm just on edge, I think. Still spooked. I know it's silly, but I don't feel safe in my room. Can—can I stay with you tonight?" She had never had trouble sleeping when he was there on the ship, after all.

"Of course." He stepped aside, letting her into his room. "You still like the left side?"

She nodded, climbing into his bed and taking one of the spare pillows, as he got in beside her. "Thank you, Kai," she said quietly, her eyes flickering to his. They shone in the darkness.

He smiled. "You're welcome, Jin."

He fell back asleep before she did, but she still felt safe enough to fall, anyway.

###

Kai's four days on the Island came to a close all to quickly, for Jinora's liking. She hadn't spent anytime like this, easy and comfortable with him, in so long, especially now that her own issues weren't getting in the way.

Tenzin too, knew he would miss the young man once he was gone, and that there had to be some way to repay him for everything he had done for his family, and for Jinora. Which was how Kai found a cheque being shoved in his face, one day when he and Tenzin were alone in the library.

"Sir, I can't possibly take this," he said, eyes wide at the long line of zeroes.

"Yes, you can. I know you lost clients and trade opportunities when you went completely off route to Ba Sing Se. Hopefully this will help cover it."

"Cover it? This is triple what we would have made—sir, we don't need this—I don't need payment for saving the woman I love, I—" Kai clamped his mouth shut, his cheeks heating up.

Tenzin smiled softly. "Please, take it. If not as payment, as...as a gift. From your family."

Kai looked at him, and then slowly took the cheque, holding it carefully. "Thank you, Tenzin," he said begrudgingly.

"Thank you." He gave Kai's shoulder a gentle squeeze. "Come back soon, son."

"I will. And let me know when Ba Sing Se University opens up again, I can take Jinora back."

"Thank you. Stay a little longer, next time?"

"I'll try."

"Also, Kai… I know Jinora has been staying with you the past few nights, and while I don't need to know the reason why, I know that your relationship… I understand your breakup has been hard on both of you, but please, be careful with her heart."

Kai swallowed. "I will, sir."

Tenzin smiled. "I know. And I know she'll be careful with your heart, too."

###

Jinora was waiting for him in his room that night, as Kai shut the door behind him.

"Jin. Hey."

"Hey." She was smiling softly, and her hair shone in the faint moonlight. "You really thought I wouldn't come visit you before you left?"

"Well, yeah, I just thought you'd already be asleep." He gave her a funny look, as she was in some kind of silk robe he hadn't seen before, sitting cross legged on the foot of his bed.

"I don't plan on getting much sleep tonight."

Kai frowned. "Jin."

"Joking, mostly." She stood up, striding towards Kai with a familiar glint in her eye. Her fingers hooked into his collar, and she played with it, a smirk lifting her face. "It's cold. Warm me up?"

"Jin, we can't—we talked about this."

"Yes, and I've been thinking about it."

He took her hands, and removed them from his collar, even if he still held onto them. "Jin, you know I want you. But I also love you, and our relationship to me means so much than sex. Even I really, _really_ do want to have sex with you, I…"

Her eyes softened, and she squeezed his hand. "I know. But who knows when I'll see you again? And when we were in your room, it was so good. I know our relationship is more than sex. But we're friends, again. We're getting each other back, slowly. And while we're in the same place, and have time for it… I wouldn't mind having the physical side back too. There is the term friends-with-benefits, right? And it might help ease ourselves back into a proper relationship, with getting more familiar things back?"

"I guess that makes sense," he said, making sure he was thinking as rationally and carefully as he could, with his pants that were growing very uncomfortable.

"Besides," Jinora released his hands, and undid the sash that was holding her robe together, letting it hang open to reveal lacy black lingerie, with a matching bra, panties, and garters. "I don't think I've ever worn something special for you like this."

His throat went dry, as he looked her up and down, and took her smooth waist in his hands, his resolve crumbling with every passing second. "Where did you even get this?"

"I bought it here, one of the weeks you were away and we were still together. As a surprise." She took her face in his hands, holding it gently. "Kai, if you don't want to do this, I never want to pressure you. You can say no, and that's okay. I know intimacy has always been something special for you, and you've made it something very special for me. But I also miss sharing it with you, because we've been broken up for over a year and a half now—and I know it was the right call for both of us—but I also think that learning to be together again physically can help us see if we have any issues to still work through. I've worked through my insecurities in a lot of ways, and my jealousy—but I don't know if my jealousy will come back in the way it was, until you're mine again, at least in one way. And I know this isn't just about me, and it's also about you, and I want you to feel comfortable and loved in whatever we're doing, but I also don't want you to be scared of something that we used to love—"

Kai leaned down and kissed her firmly, and she quieted, smiling slightly against his lips as he slowly drew away, and rested his forehead against hers. "You talk too much," he murmured, kissing her again, and Jinora stepped into his warmth. "But you're also right. Let's try this, and if it hinders more than helps—"

"Then we can always stop," she finished. "So?"

Kai curled his fingers into her robe, pulling her flush to him, and resting his hands on her hips. "So first," he said in a low voice, "I should thank you for putting this on." He walked her over to the bed, pushing her down onto it and caressing her as he stood standing at the foot of it, sliding his hands over her curves of creamy skin, smooth silk, and black lace.

Jinora let out pleased hums, as he stroked her thighs and rumpled her robe, lightly touching her breasts, his other hand sliding down to her crotch. He cupped it firmly, gently massaging it over her panties. "Mm, do you like it baby?" she asked, breathless and smiling.

"I do," he said, "but I think it's about time for it to come off." He reached behind her to undo the clasp of her bra as he removed her robe. Jinora helped him pull both things off, curling one hand over the nape of his neck as he cupped her now bare breasts, squeezing firmly.

Jinora laid one hand over his, her eyes closing in pleasure. "I love the way you touch me," she whispered. "Please, make me yours, and be mine."

"Jinora." His voice was gravel in her ear, and she shivered. "I want to take my time with you, before I take you." He kissed her jaw, his hands leaving her breasts to pull her panties down along her thighs and garters, till they were on the floor with the rest of her clothes, and he laid down on his side beside her, his body slightly curved over hers as she laid on her back. He resumed stroking her skin and tracing her curves with his hands, now roaming over all bare skin.

She shivered against his touch, her fingers curling into the bottom of his shirt, tugging at it. "I want to feel you too."

He let her pull it off him, and she ran her hands down his chest, as he turned her on her side to face him, and started massaging and squeezing her ass. Jinora pressed kisses to the crook of his neck, continuing her exploration, and pausing when her hands came across new scars.

"How did you get this?" she asked, tracing one stretched across his hip-bone.

Kai pulled her closer. "Sword graze." Her hands moved upwards to another one. "A knife slash." Her hands moved lower, to his other side that was more pressed against the mattress. "Stabbing." Her eyes widened, but he kissed her softly. "I'm okay, Jin. I'm here. I'm always here."

Jinora slanted her mouth over his more firmly, desperately, parting his lips and tasting him hungrily. "Then prove it," she gasped, tangling one hand in his hair. "Fuck me."

He undid the front of his pants, yanking them down enough, and then grinded into her, hard enough to wedge his cock between her tender folds, as his hand came up to cup one side of her face, shushing her when she moaned. He sucked down on her bottom lip, coating himself in her dripping warmth, and he pulled away from her mouth, latching onto her pulse point.

Jinora trembled as she bit back moans, remembering that they did have to be quiet, as her nails dug into his strong back and he rutted into her. "Kai," she whimpered in his ear, "baby please, I need you—"

He took her hands and pinned them on either side of her head, tangling their fingers together, his eyes meeting hers as he slid into her slowly and completely. He ducked his head as he began to thrust, and kissed the spot on her collarbone where her promise ring fell, ramming into her hard and fast, before rising back up to kiss her mouth. Jinora fastened her thighs on either side of his hips, moaning into his mouth and squeezing his hands as he pounded into her with just the force of his hips.

She whimpered into his mouth as she began to clench around him, her breath ragged. "I love you."

"I love you too," he murmured, his lips brushing the shell of her ear. She arched into him as she came, squeezing his hands as she clenched hard around him. He trailed sloppy kisses along her jaw, as he began to thrust into her just as hard as before, until he came too, spilling into her in a rush of thick warmth. He slowly let go of her hands, and they nestled themselves in his hair as they rode out their highs together.

"Kai," she said softly, as he smiled. "Why can't we try things again? Officially, I mean? We're pretty much doing everything we used to. We're writing letters, kissing, sharing a bed… Is there something I'm doing wrong?"

"No," he said immediately. "No, it's not you." He kissed her deeply, but briefly. "And it's nice, having pieces of us back, but… if we're official then we can fail, again. You… you could break my heart, again. And I know you trust me now, so I guess I'm being hypocritical but… I don't know if I can trust you, again. At least not yet."

Her face fell, but she nodded. "I understand. I...I know I really hurt you." She let her fingers skim the line of his jaw. "Is this hurting you?"

"No." He kissed her forehead. "It makes me feel connected to you again. I think that's part of why I'm a little scared, to be reconnected. But I'm always going to be connected to you. You're my best friend, and I'll always love you. I'll always be in love with you. I think I just need to get used to the idea of being with you, again."

"Okay." She managed a small smile. "I can wait. If there's anything I can do to help?"

"You're already doing it."

"I am?"

"You're working to understand me, again. You're being patient. And you're reminding me of all the reasons I love you, and all the reasons you love me."

Her smile grew. "I'll always love you. And the reasons I love you are constantly changing and being added to, and...that's one of my favourite things about us."

"I think I can do this," he said. "Be physical with you beyond tonight, I mean. Whenever we're in the same place, and well, we can make time for it. I can take you back to Ba Sing Se whenever it reopens, or whenever you're ready."

"I don't know if I will be," she said softly. "When I think about going back my throat gets tight… and I only had a few exams left to take. I should be able to transfer my credits over and take it at RC University here."

"And then your research project on the _Waterbender_?"

That coaxed a smile out of her, and Jinora kissed him. "Will go ahead according to plan, Captain."

"Good. And since we'll be sleeping together again, there's no reason you can't stay in my room."

She smiled, tightening her thighs around his hips. "Mm, I like the sound of that." She leaned up to kiss him again, and he deepened it, his tongue sliding into her mouth. She rolled them so Kai was underneath her, and braced her hands on his lower, muscled stomach. "And this time," she purred, "I get to take you."

They were quiet mostly, in between whispered praise and heady moans until they came, one after the other, fingers tightening and hoarse moans slipping, until he slipped out of her and she nestled herself against his chest.

Jinora ran her hand over his lower stomach, as their heartbeats slowed. She could hear his under her ear, pressed against his chest. "You're sure you want this?" she said softly, and he took her hand, squeezing it.

"Positive."

Jinora smiled and lifted his hand to her mouth, kissing the backs of his fingers. "Okay."


	22. Photographs

Chapter Twenty-Two: Photographs

It was one of the stretches that Kai was away that summer (with plans and promises he'd be back early at the end of it so she could start her research trip) when a woman showed up at the manor. She was old and squat with scraggly brown hair, her mouth contorted into a slight frown when one of the servants called Jinora to the door.

"Can I help you?" she said.

"I'm here for Kai Fong," the woman said gruffly.

Jinora's brow furrowed. "Fong?"

"Y'know, the pirate. I hear he's close with the Gyatsos. Is this the Gyatso manor or not?"

Jinora rested a palm on the door. "It may be," she said, frowning. "But what have you come here for?"

"Jinora," came her father's voice, "who's at the door?"

"Ah, Governor Gyatso, there you are," said the woman, sounding slightly more cheerful, as Tenzin walked forwards. "May I come in? I must say, I'm disappointed you kicked the Chows out of office. Always liked 'em."

Tenzin arched an eyebrow. "And you are, ma'am?"

"Gunthra, from Geishou, Omashu. I had a heavy hand in raising the boy who saved your life, so I've come to collect some payment."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Wait, you know Kai?" Jinora asked. "His… Is Fong his last name?"

Gunthra ignored the question, carrying on as if she hadn't heard. "He was a real brat. Made my chronic migraines worse. The best thing he did was run away from my damn orphanage."

Jinora's eyes widened in cognition and horror. "Get out."

"You have his records?" Tenzin said, as Gunthra gave Jinora an eye roll.

Gunthra pulled a file out of her wool coat. "You can have them, old man, if you pay me."

Jinora turned to Tenzin. "Father, Kai went through terrible things in that orphanage—"

"I promised him I would get him those records," Tenzin said quietly. He turned back to Gunthra, his beard just barely masking his frown. "How much?"

Gunthra smiled smugly. "Two thousand yuans should do it."

Jinora gaped. "Two thousand—" Not that the records wouldn't be worth it—they would be worth any price—but she hated the idea of giving this witch of a woman even any money at all. She didn't deserve a single cent.

Tenzin wrote out the cheque, and handed it stiffly to Gunthra. "Now, the documents."

Gunthra was too busy eyeing the cheque to look at Tenzin as she idly handed him the folder, but as she turned to walk away, Jinora reached out and grabbed her arm.

"How do we know these are real?" Jinora demanded. Gunthra frowned, tugging her arm out of Jinora's grasp.

"The boy's a mutt. It's not my business to know if the information written there is true or not. If I thought he was worth something, don't you think I would have used it while he was in my care?"

Jinora's lips thinned. "You're a horrible old woman," she snapped, but let her walk away. Once she was gone, Jinora slammed the door behind them. "I can't believe anyone could be that vile—" She glanced up at her father, who already had the folder open, and was looking at its contents. "Father? That file is meant for Kai's eyes only unless—"

"I'm checking the credibility," said Tenzin. "Who knows what that woman can do, but even she can't fake aged documents and hospital seals." He pointed to the bottom of one of the pages, yellowed and with a faded date stamp, dated almost 24 years ago. He shut the folder, and they both let out a long exhale. "I suppose we'll have to let him know soon."

"At least they're real," she said quietly. "He'll know his surname, and maybe his mother's, and…" The tears came before she could stop them, her voice thick. "It'll mean so much to him."

Tenzin pulled her into a hug, the documents secure in one of his hands. "I know. We'll make sure she doesn't come back, when he's here. I wrote something on the back of the cheque, when she wasn't looking. Perhaps the police will be able to frame her for exploitation of a government official, if not for claims of child abuse."

"Thank you." Jinora gave her father a squeeze. "I—I'm going to go write him the good news."

"Tell him to come back soon, so we can give it to him in person as soon as possible."

Jinora smiled up at him as she pulled away. "I will." She made her way up the stairs, pausing to look back as her father walked into his office, where she was sure he would put the folder away safely.

Maybe, after all of this, Kai could finally have a peaceful life.

###

When the Waterbender touched down at Air Temple Island two weeks later, cutting through the September chill, Kai didn't think he had ever been so nervous in his entire life. Not even when he'd arrived at the Gyatsos for the first time, or when he and Jinora's relationship had been more than wonky. There was a tight cluster of nerves in his chest that grew tighter with every breath, his throat dry and his palms sweaty, his entire body jittery from his head to his toes. He needed to punch something, or run away, or get answers, and it was the latter that allowed him to put one foot in front of the other towards the mansion.

Tenzin and Jinora were already waiting for him in front of the door, and he wasn't sure if their presence made this easier or harder.

"Kai," Tenzin said softly, almost affectionately, and Kai knew it was both once he spoke his name, and once he locked eyes with Jinora. How was it that he had found his present and future with this family, and would soon find his past with them too?

"It's good to see you again, sir," Kai said, trying for a smile.

"I suppose you'll want to see it as soon as possible?"

"I…" He swallowed at his dry throat. "I don't know. I mean, yes, but… Do you know what's in there?"

Tenzin shook his head. "I only checked the files for authenticity. I didn't read a single word otherwise."

"I...I don't want to read it without Yung. He's just helping them tie up the ship now, but…"

"Waiting for him is perfectly fine," Jinora assured him, taking his hand, and Kai held onto it like an anchor, a lifeline.

He cleared his throat. "Right."

It felt like an eternity and nothing at all, as Yung finished helping tie the last of the ropes, and then crossed over to meet them. He placed a hand on Kai's shoulder, and he could feel some of the jitters begin to leave his body, cast out by the warmth of Yung's hand. "Ready, kiddo?" he asked gently.

"As I'll ever be." He let out a low breath. "Let's just… let's go."

He stayed close to Yung even as he let go of his shoulder, and he kept his hand firmly in Jinora's, all four of them walking close together as they stepped into the manor. Tenzin unlocked the door to his study, then held it open for them. It was the only room other than Tenzin and Pema's master bedroom that Kai hadn't yet visited, and of the two, the study had been the only truly off-limits room. It was strange to be walking in so freely now, with Tenzin actually encouraging him to come inside.

The file was sitting plainly on the Governor's desk, fairly thick but not overly, yellowed with age, and it felt like a hundred pounds just to touch the front of it, his fingers tracing it lightly. The tightness was back in his chest full force.

"Gunthra might be back," he mumbled, his fingers lingering at the corner. "When the cheque bounces."

"We've already taken precautions. She won't ever be able to get to you again," Tenzin said.

"I'm not worried about her getting to me. I'm worried about her getting to you. All of you."

"She won't," said Jinora, gently squeezing his hand. "We're safe. You're safe."

Kai bowed his head slightly, closing his eyes. "She tormented me," he whispered thickly. "Her, my father… they took so much from me."

"They're gone, Kai. I know that doesn't fix anything, but… You're safe now. I promise."

"What if...what if I don't like what I find out?"

"It's up to you whether or not you open the file," Tenzin said. "But you'll still be the same person no matter what. We will all still love you, no matter what those documents say."

Yung laid a hand on Kai's shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. "We've come this far with you. We're not going anywhere now."

Kai took a deep breath, lungs aching, and opened up the file. A yellowing birth certificate stared back at him, reading: _Kai Kovu Fong was born on December 15th AAC at Omashu's General Hospital to Ming Nakamura-Fong and _. Weighed 7 lbs, second born._

"Nakamura's a slave name," was all he managed, eyes stuck on her first name. _Ming._ It meant bright and clear, in the old languages. He didn't know if he felt more validated in knowing he had killed the slavers who had tormented her too, or angrier now that he knew her supposed suffering was true.

"Second born?" Tenzin asked, and Kai nodded.

"I knew I had a sister, I just…" Kai's fingers fastened onto the edges of the document. "She's the one who left me at an orphanage, but… I have no idea what happened to her. She was older than I was, I dunno by how much."

"And you're a winter baby," said Yung. "Eh, kid? Told you I called it." He ruffled his hair, and Kai almost managed a laugh. "We can start celebrating your birthday on that day, if you like."

"I…" Kai took a deep breath. "Thank you, Yung. I just…"

"I know. It's okay." Yung gave his shoulder another squeeze. "You need time?"

"Yeah. No. I…" He looked from Tenzin, to Yung, to Jinora. "Stay?"

"Of course we will," Jinora said softly. "There are more documents, after all. We'll stay as long as you want."

He could only nod his thanks, as he carefully set his birth records aside - so he had been born in a hospital, and who cared if his worthless father's name wasn't there? - and moved to the next piece of paper in the file.

It was an old photograph of him as a child at the orphanage, bruised, skinny and sullen faced, only emphasized by the hand-me-downs he was wearing that were far too big for him. Written underneath in what was most likely Gunthra's crude writing were the words, Child up for Adoption. Warning: behavioural issues.

"Behavioural issues?" Jinora asked.

"I used to steal food," Kai mumbled. "I was good at it. Older boys would make me, but if I got caught she'd hit me, so I didn't want to—I took a knife from the kitchens, but they got it and turned it on me and—" His hand moved to below his ribs, where she knew a scar she'd kissed so many times lay, and her heart ached.

She placed a hand over his. "You're okay," she murmured.

"It's still crazy to think, sometimes," he said quietly. "That I'm where I am now. There was a time when dying on the street was a step up, because at least I wouldn't die in that orphanage…" He swallowed. "I'm sorry—"

"Shh." She ran her thumb over his knuckles, smiling softly when he laced his fingers through hers. "You're here. You're okay."

He squeezed her hand. "Of course I'm okay. You're here."

Her smile grew. "We can keep looking, if you want. Or take breaks?"

"No, I… I want to look at everything, first. I don't want to run."

"Okay." She wrapped her arms around him, resting her chin on his shoulder. "We're right here, for as long as you need us."

Kai placed his hand over one of hers, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Thank you."

###

Of all the things Kai had expected to feel after finally learning something, anything, about his past, tired hadn't been one of them. But he was exhausted after pouring over all of the documents, reading some twice, that they eventually called it a night, having some tea in silence before sending Kai off to his old bedroom in the manor. He didn't bring the file with him, not wanting to obsess over it further, but part of him worried that it wouldn't still be lying on Tenzin's desk in the morning, somehow, that this had been a dream of some kind, or that it would be stolen.

Still, when a knock came at the door when he was pulling on his sleep pants, he wasn't exactly surprised, and managed a tired smile when he said, "Come in," and Jinora let herself into his room.

"How are you doing?" she asked, sitting at the foot of his bed.

"I don't know," he admitted, and leaned into her when she opened up her arms. "I'm okay, I just… There's so much I thought I'd never know, but now that I do, I… I can visit my mother's grave. I could even look for my sister."

Jinora laid a hand between his shoulder blades. "None of it changes who you are," she said softly. "Whatever you find, or feel, at the end of these new roads. You'll still be the man I fell in love with."

He smiled slightly. "Thank you, Jin. For...being here, through everything." He rested his head on her shoulder, wrapping his arms around her waist. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"It's a good thing you'll never have to find out," she said with a slight smile. "I think we've run away from each other enough times, don't you?"

"We have," he said softly. "And it's like I said...I'm tired of running." He leaned into her, pressing a kiss to the soft curve of her jaw, and her hands found his shoulders, as his lips slowly travelled to the underside of her jaw.

"Kai?"

"Hmm?"

"Is what I think is happening happening?"

He smiled against her skin. "What do you think is happening?"

"You're seducing me in your bedroom for a change?" He pulled away to look at her, and they shared a brief smile. "Because if so, I have absolutely no problems with it… so long as you're not using sex as an emotional crutch."

"I'm not," he said. "I've just missed you."

She smiled, letting her nose press against his. "And there's nothing else you want to talk about?"

He shook his head, his nose bumping hers. "I would prefer it if we stopped talking altogether, to be honest."

Jinora's smile grew, her hand cupping the curve of his jaw. "It's refreshing, to be the one seduced for a change." Her smile widened as he kissed her, his hand landing at the small of her back as he pulled her flush to him.

"I'll make a habit of it, then," he remarked, drawing her into his lap. She deepened the kiss, sucking on his bottom lip as his other hand slid down to her ass, cupping and squeezing it firmly.

As much as the sex was good—fantastic, really, always—if Kai was being perfectly honest, what he adored most about having this aspect of their relationship back was the afterglow. Not just because she looked beautiful, sated and flushed, but because of the way she grew extra cuddly, and he could stroke her hair or kiss her shoulder as they talked in soft voices and quiet murmurs.

"Are you excited for September?" he asked her, idly stroking his fingers lightly up and down her upper arm. That's when her research project on _the Waterbender_ would begin.

Jinora nodded. "Are you?"

"What do you think?"

"I think that you are, mostly, but also a little nervous." She scooted closer to him. "But that's okay. I'm a little nervous too. It'll be a change for us, but I think it'll be a good one. I—I've missed us, so much, lately."

"So have I." He buried his face in her neck, pressing a soft kiss to its curve. "We're getting there. You still have the ring. And my heart."

Jinora pressed a kiss to his hairline. "And you have mine. I love you, Kai Fong."

Tears pricked at his eyes, upon hearing it out loud. "I love you too, Jin," he managed. "I love you so much."

"Which reminds me… I got you something, for the birthdays I've missed."

"What?" Kai looked at her curiously, as she pulled away with a knowing grin. "You didn't have to."

"I wanted to anyway. Now close your eyes." His eyes flickered to hers in mild annoyance, and curiosity, before he closed his eyes and smiled.

"Alright. I'm taking your orders. Happy?"

"Ecstatic." He could hear the smile in her voice, and closed his fingers over something cold and thin she dropped in his palm. It felt like a chain of some kind, and then something more solid, made of stone. "Open your eyes."

He slowly opened them, his gaze settling on his hand, and he smiled when he saw a small, silver ring on the chain. He ran his thumb over it, and in the dim light could make out a tiny anchor carving along its side. "Jin…"

"It's a promise ring. I...I know it's not really traditional, for a woman to get a man something like this as well, but we've never been traditional anyway. Do you like it?" She bit her lip, when he stayed silent for a moment. "If you don't want it, I under—"

He kissed her, hard and fast, lips yearning against hers, even as he pulled away just as quickly. "Of course I want it. You." He pressed another kiss to the corner of her mouth. "I love it. Thank you." He handed it back. "Help me put it on?"

Jinora smiled wide, and she undid the clasp as he sat up, turning his back to her. She sat up and put the chain around his neck, securing the clasp as the ring settled below his collarbone. He turned back to her, and Jinora's smile softened as his fingers found her ring.

"I like matching with you," he said softly.

Jinora watched the way the silver chain of his necklace lay across his collarbone, in parallel to the scar on his shoulder, that he'd earned at the bank years ago, and she leaned forward and kissed the marred line of flesh. Kai held her close, running his thumb over the small of her back.

"You okay?" he murmured.

"Yeah," she said thickly. "I just… I just wish we could have met in a way that hadn't caused you pain."

"Whatever had to happen for me to meet you, I'm glad it did. The universe has a way of balancing itself out, you know? I got shot, but then I got to know you." He cupped one side of her face with his hand. "And now I get to love you."

Jinora managed a small smile, and then licked her bottom lip, eyes turning thoughtful, if a tad nervous. "Kai… your acceptance of the ring, does—does that mean we're going to try again, now?"

"I...I want to," he admitted. "But we… Maybe we should start slow? And since you'll be starting your research project in September, that'll be a good time to try, little by little." He rested his forehead against hers. "I love you, and I want to be with you. I just don't know if I'm ready for all of it, yet."

"That's okay," she assured him. "I was… I was just wondering, really. Anything you're willing to give, I'm happy to have."

"I was thinking, though… last time, we never went over what—what 'too long' would be, to wait for each other. Maybe we should figure that out. So our frustration doesn't come back, and resentment can't either."

"Okay. Well… Now that I'll be graduating, soon… it'd be nice if we could figure out if we'll live longterm on land, or at sea, in the next two or three years, maybe. We don't have to make the change as soon as we decide, but just so we can start planning, and… I think that was the root of some of our issues, earlier, that we didn't know, and we couldn't talk about it without fighting."

"I'm just glad we can start talking about it now. It's...a start," Kai said with a slight smile. "I know you'll want to work for a while, and...I don't know how to live on land long term, really, but I could try, with enough time to get the crew adjusted without me. I'd probably leave the captainship to Lefty, or Skoochy, if Lefty doesn't want it. Yung wouldn't want to stay on the Waterbender if I left, I already know that much."

Her brow furrowed. "I don't want to rush you," she said softly. "Are—are you sure you'd be happy, leaving the crew? They're your family. You've already made so many sacrifices for me."

"Would you be happy with me on a ship for...possibly the rest of your life?"

"Yes," she said, almost an exhalation. "I...I could tutor abroad, once I've found my footing. And you visit my family so often anyway. It would take some getting used to, but I think I'd be happy. That's part of why I'm looking forward to my research project. I'll be living with you on the Waterbender for a little while, and then we can see for sure."

"And if you don't like it after all?"

"Then we'll talk about it. But we're not doing anything unless we're both happy with it. I'm not letting you make any more big sacrifices for me."

"You know going to school was an opportunity I was beyond grateful for."

She smiled thinly. "But it was never really what you wanted, was it?"

He had to shake his head at that. "I'm still glad I went. I got to spend time with you, and I got to know Lee and the girls, but…" He sighed. "You're right."

"I don't want to do that to you anymore," she said quietly.

Kai exhaled, and then smiled slightly. "I've missed being able to talk with you, like this. For so long there were so many things we couldn't say to each other, and…"

"I know. I never want us to be like that again." Jinora ran her fingers over the curve of his jaw.

"We can't promise we won't end up like that," he said softly. "But we can promise to handle it better, and recognize it earlier. Okay?"

"Okay. I promise." She toyed with the chain of his necklace for a moment, before he leaned down and kissed her deeply, coaxing a pleased noise from her lips. Jinora wrapped her arms around his neck and her thighs around his hips, already breathless when he drew away from her mouth. The chains of their promise rings were tangled together, and they both laughed softly as she gently untangled them. "I love you," she said, gazing up at him with a soft smile.

"I love you too," he said, eyes tender, before he leaned down to kiss her again. She felt the familiar pleasant heat in her belly, as their kiss grew more heated too, and tangled one hand in his hair, a silent urging to make love to her that he knew all too well by now, and an urging he gladly made good upon.

She fell asleep with her legs tangled up in his, and his arms wrapped securely around her. They would be okay.

###

Jinora woke up, blinking blearily, to the sound of Kai getting dressed in the soft morning light streaming in from his window, his back turned to her and covered by a shirt, as he drew up his pants. "Kai?" she murmured, sitting up slightly.

Kai turned to her with a soft smile, even if his eyes were bright. "Hey, I was just… going to go look through the file, again."

"Oh. Okay. Do you want me to come with you?"

Kai reached for her hand, and she lifted hers to meet him halfway. His ring dangled from his throat, as he leaned down and kissed her softly. "I would like it," he admitted, his nose bumping hers, "but you don't have to come, if you'd rather sleep. I know we were up late last night."

Jinora smiled softly. "I want to come with you. It...makes me happy, that you trust me with something so personal."

"Well, of course I do. You're my family too." He tugged her up from the bed, wrapping his arms around her bare form once she was standing, and kissing her firmly, and her smile widened. He cupped one side of her face with his hand, and tucked her hair behind her ears. "You're everything to me."

She leaned into his touch, laying her hand over his. "Easy, Captain," she said, smiling. "You just got dressed."

He laughed, leaning forward and resting his forehead against hers. "C'mon, love. You can wear one of my shirts, or something."

Jinora pulled on one of his button ups, and a pair of leggings he'd brought with him for the ship, likely expecting this exact outcome. She felt like kids again, creeping around the house before even the servants were up until they stopped in front of her father's study. Kai picked the lock with no difficulty at all, and they let themselves into the room.

The file was still on the desk, untouched, and Jinora wondered if her father had even entered his study at all last evening after they'd all left, as Kai turned on the lamp and opened the folder up once more. Jinora wrapped an arm around his shoulders, looking down at the documents with him. They'd thrown out the pictures of him as a young boy at the orphanage, for good riddance too, but Jinora knew he had a photo of himself, with his mother, but she hadn't gotten a glimpse of it yesterday, and hadn't asked for one either: if he wanted to keep the photo to himself, then it was perfectly within his right. She hadn't seen his mother's name either, except for him checking with Skoochy that Nakamura was used as a location identifier for slaves from a specific camp on the far east coast of the Earth Kingdom, near Paradise.

Kai took a photo out of the folder, pulling her out of her thoughts as well, and holding it under the lamp for a better look. "That's her," he said thickly, pointing to the woman holding an adorably chubby, toddler Kai in her arms.

Jinora smiled softly. "She looks like you," she said, resting her chin on his shoulder. "She's beautiful." She looked strangely familiar, but Jinora figured that at least part of it was because she and Kai shared such a strong resemblance.

"It's nice to know that I was happy, before the orphanage. Even if I can't really remember it. I wish I knew who took the photo, though…"

"Your sister, maybe?" Jinora suggested. "Or a neighbour?"

"Maybe my sister," he said. "At least I have something to go on, now. A surname. Maybe she'd have my mother's first name, as a middle name, or something, so I can narrow it down… I think she must have left Geishou, since she… never came back for me."

Jinora squeezed him gently. "She was young. Maybe by the time she tried to look for you, you were gone, or she got lost."

"Maybe." He managed a small smile. "Always the optimist."

"We can start looking in registries here. Republic City is a pretty great place to make it, regardless of your status… I say as a very privileged person, so you can take that with a grain of salt."

It coaxed a laugh out of him like she'd hoped, as he laid a hand over hers. "Nah, you're right, babe. Not everyone can make it, but… back when I thought I had to run instead of sail, I think I would've tried to make my way here. D'you think your dad could do us the favour?"

"He'd do anything for you," Jinora assured him. "What's your mother's name, or what your sister's middle name may be?"

Kai smiled. "Ming." It felt good to say it out loud, and have the knowledge, after all these years of wondering.

Jinora blinked. "Your… your mother's name is Ming Fong?"

"Yeah. The surname is pretty common, but definitely Earth Kingdom, dontcha think?" He shrugged, nonchalant, happy and oblivious to the thoughts racing in her brain, now. "I always knew I had to be mostly Earth Kingdom, and maybe some Water Tribe, because of, well, the green eyes, with the darker skin…"

"Yeah…" Jinora looked at the picture again, her heart pounding as he mind slowly put the pieces together. Yes, she had seen that woman before. A few years younger, maybe, in a different house, but it was the same woman.

"Jin? You okay? You look pale. Do you need to sit down?"

It was almost ironic, that he was the one trying to bring her back to the present when this revelation would most definitely be more shocking to him, but she shook her head. "I'm fine. Just...spaced out, for a moment."

"You sure?"

Jinora nodded. "I'm sure. I just… the old couple I worked for, back in Ba Sing Se, their last name is Fong too, and I know they've settled in Republic City with their daughter, but I haven't gone in person to see them yet, that's all. I should really make some time to go see them."

"Oh, okay." He smiled slightly. "Maybe I'm distantly related to them," he teased, and Jinora's smile grew tight.

"Wouldn't that be something?" she said, managing a convincing chuckle. Should she take the opportunity, or wait to have processed more of it before dumping it on him?

"I was thinking of going in town later today with the crew to unload some cargo, but I know Yung has to rent a carriage to look into one of the deals we're running. You could ask if you could share a carriage with him? I'm sure even if their house is pretty far away he wouldn't mind."

"Sure," Jinora said softly.

"You sure you're okay?"

She gave him a small smile. "You worry too much."

"Really? You don't mind staying in here until the last possible second your father could find us in here?"

"We're twenty-three years old, Kai. He can't ground us."

Kai arched an eyebrow. "So you want to chance it then?"

"Hell no."

They wore matching grins and promise rings, as they held hands, closing up the file and scampering off to the kitchens for early morning hot chocolate, after Kai meticulously put study door's lock back in place. Kai's grin was so infectious, Jinora could almost forgot the earth shattering information she had just realized about his family, as he poured hot chocolate into each of their mugs.

She almost told her parents at breakfast, in some desperate bid to not feel insane, but reeled it back in at the last minute, and clamping her mouth shut. She was doing so well, taking her years of faking smiles and well done manners at parties to the test, and even kissed Kai goodbye for his day of work at the docks without him noticing a thing, or if he did, he didn't comment on it, which meant that it wasn't enough to have him too worried. Yet anyway.

She was doing so well, keeping the most important secret she'd ever known a secret, until she got into a carriage with Yung, and it all came bursting out after he said, "So, how have you been, Jinora?"

"Kai has grandparents and I know them and he also has an aunt and I know because I saw a picture of his mother at their house before I knew it was his mother and their daughter's name was Ming Fong too!" Jinora blurted out in the hurried rush of a single breath.

To Yung's credit, it only took approximately thirty seconds for him to get over the initial shock. "W-What—Jinora, what do you mean—"

And so Jinora told him everything, from meeting Tullik and Aika and getting hired at their library, to their heritage and surname that would match Kai's, to the disastrous Thanksgiving, the details of their missing younger daughter and of their older stoic daughter, and how she had finally put the pieces together in the early hours of this morning.

"Oh my God," was all Yung could say after a moment.

"So you see, I—I'm not crazy, am I? Am I? I mean, what are the chances, of—but they have to be—but he doesn't know yet—"

"And you know where these people live?" Yung asked.

"They gave me their new address, I—"

"We're going there right now."

" _What_?"

"But don't tell them about Kai right away, okay?"

"Why not?"

"Because I'll be damned if people who are supposed to be his family hurts him."

"Yung, they wouldn't. They're the sweetest old couple I've ever met, and they want grandchildren so badly."

"And it sounds like Kai's aunt— _God_ that's weird to say out loud—resents any reminder of her sister, and Kai would be a big whopping confirmation that his mother could've come home, possibly, but didn't, and that she's dead. We have to do this slowly, and make up our minds, so we know best how to prepare him for… for this. Okay?"

Jinora sighed, but nodded. "Alright. We...we can tell him first. Not right away," she added quickly, "just...whenever we decide to say something."

"Good. Now, let's give the driver their address, and start figuring this thing out."

###

The door was opened almost immediately after Jinora had knocked on their door, which already had a "welcome!" doormat doing just that. Aika's round beaming face came into view, with her dark green eyes lit up and happy, as she scooped Jinora up into a hearty hug.

"It's wonderful to see you again, sweetheart," she said, as she set the young woman down.

Jinora managed a smile that was mostly genuine. "It's good to see you too. Aika, this is my friend, Yung Tashi. He's my boyfriend's...first mate."

"Oh, well, it's lovely to meet you!" Aika said with a warm smile. "Why don't you both come in? We've already put some water in a kettle and are just about to have tea."

"We wouldn't want to intrude, ma'am," Yung said carefully, but Aika waved him off.

"I insist. I have a fresh batch of tea cookies in the oven, and you'll both be doing us a favour if you help us finish them off. It's just my husband Tullik and I at home, right now—Tullik, dear," she called, "we have visitors!"

"Then let them in!" called back an endearingly gruff voice.

"I'm trying!" Aika replied with a laugh. She turned back to them, her eyes warm and familiar. "Won't you please come in?"

Jinora nudged Yung in the side, and they both entered a house smaller than the one Jinora had visited back in Ba Sing Se, but far cozier, with scented lilac candles lit around the room and handmade quilts draped over every armchair. Even the tablecloth seemed handmade, woven from patches of various textured cloth, as Aika led them to her and Tullik's kitchen. There was a table underneath a wide windowsill, light shining in with a few pictures on the mantle. One of them was a picture of Ming, and then Misun, and then the two sisters together, smiling and both of them young enough to have a few missing teeth apiece. Jinora shared a glance with Yung, who still seemed stunned.

"I told you," she whispered, barely loud enough for him to hear.

"What tea would you like?" Aika asked, opening up one of the cupboards. It was stocked to the brim with labeled ceramic jars. "Tullik's favourite is the raspberry tea, though I'm partial to the oolong…" Aika turned to Jinora with a smile. "Though I assume you'll want ginseng?"

"It's kind of you to remember, Aika," Jinora said with a nod.

"And for you?" Aika asked Yung, as she took out the ginseng tea jar.

"U-um, ginseng's fine for me too," he said, still glancing around at the pictures they had of Ming. "You...have a lovely home."

"Thank you! We just finished unpacking, we didn't realize we had so much stuff until we moved. We lived in Ba Sing Se, until the rioting, but our daughter, Misun, was able to help us get out safely."

"We were worried about you, Jinora," said Tullik, taking a seat beside his wife. "Until that boy of yours sent us a letter. When are we ever going to meet him? We should thank him."

Jinora and Yung shared a quick glance. "He's been busy," Jinora said, "but we're hoping to bring him around soon, if that's alright."

"Of course it is!" said Aika. "We'll even prepare both your favorite dishes for dinner, if you give us enough time to whip something up. I expect he likes meat?"

"Sailors almost always like meat," said Tullik. "You can't keep fruit and veggies good for long on the seas."

"You sail?" Yung asked him.

"I'm from the Southern Water Tribe," Tullik chuckled. "Of course I do. Or I used to, when I was younger. We used to have a little boat, our family, before we lived in Ba Sing Se. I'd take the girls out fishing in it, for a few days every summer. Our youngest loved it, but our oldest, not so much. She was more of a bookworm, and well, our younger daughter didn't want to see the worms get eaten, even if she still wanted to catch a fish." His smile grew softer, more pensive. "She used to try to catch fish with pieces of dried fruit."

Aika laid a hand on Tullik's shoulder. "I assume Jinora's already told you about what happened to our youngest?" Aika asked Yung, her smile fading.

"Yes, it… I'm very sorry, for your loss."

Aika managed a small, sad smile. "We like to think she's happy, and warm, wherever she is," she said.

"Have you ever wondered if she mothered any children?" Jinora asked, ignoring Yung's warning look.

Tullik smiled softly. "We both know that was one of her biggest dreams," he said. "She loved children, and always wanted a family of her own. Even if we won't be able to see her again, knowing she got that at least that would be some comfort. Knowing that she was still happy, wherever she went." He wiped at his damp blue eyes. "Sorry, didn't mean to put such a mood over tea."

"No, it's alright," Jinora said quickly. "It's good, that you still talk about her. I'm sorry if asking made you—"

"No, you're fine, dearie," Aika said. "We like to daydream about a grandchild, sometimes. Someone to spoil into our final years."

Jinora looked at Yung, shooting him a look, but he shook his head every so slightly. Not yet.

"Your eldest still doesn't have any children?" Yung asked, taking a tea cookie and twirling it between his fingers.

"Oh no, Misun's never been big on kids. Or even marriage," Aika said. "She's—what's that word again dear?"

"Aromantic?"

"Yes, thank you, Tullik. And asexual. Which is fine, obviously. Jinora's a bit like the granddaughter we thought we'd never have, so, life works itself out just fine."

"Our cook on the ship, Daw, is like that too," Yung said smiling. "And he's very happy with his baking. And having the rest of us as friends, and surrogate family."

"That sounds lovely," said Aika. "That's all we want for Misun. To be happy, with people she loves, even if it's not a traditional family."

"Was there… my father has connections," Jinora said. "Do you know anything, about… where Ming might have been taken?"

"There were slave camps on the east coast. Koh, Hama, Nakamura," Tullik said throatily. "But there's also a railroad, that runs through most of the camps and neighbouring towns, to Omashu. She might've been taken or, or run away there. It's cheaper than travelling back to Ba Sing Se, but…"

"Would she have any reason to run away?"

"Not that we know of." Aika sniffled. "But we—we think she was taken by slavers, but if she managed to escape, then maybe… but she's been gone for almost thirty years. If she was still alive, she would have come home, or sent a letter, or—or something."

Yung glanced at Jinora, a heavy crease forming in his brow. "Mr and Mrs Fong, I think there's something we need to tell you, but we need to take you back to the Gyatso manor, to explain fully."

Aika and Tullik exchanged worried glances. "Is...something wrong?" he asked.

"It's about your daughter, Ming," said Jinora. "But the information proving it all is back at my house. Do you trust us?"

"Yes, of course, I—" Aika swallowed. "Let me grab my purse."

"And if you have any photos of Ming, as a young girl," Yung requested, "around ten or eleven, could you bring those too?"

"Of course," Tullik said, standing up as well. "Could—what exactly is this about?" he asked cautiously.

"Closure," Jinora said. "And...maybe something else. You'll understand, once we've finished."

They were at the door of the Fong home, by the time Aika joined them, tucking a few framed photographs into her purse. "Well, Tullik and I aren't getting any younger. Let's go see what this is about, shall we?"

###

They left Aika and Tullik waiting in the foyer as Jinora took some of the pictures of Ming and Kai from the folder in her father's study, while Yung gathered up some pictures of Kai from when he was eleven years old, back at the ship. "I told you," Jinora whispered.

"I know, I just—they seem nice, but it's still the aunt I'm worried about."

"We'll cross that bridge when we get there, especially since this was your idea. When I told you, I didn't think we'd be doing all this today!"

"They—You were right about them, they seem nice, they—Kai should know, that he has family that's ready to love him."

"I thought we were telling him before them!"

"Alright, so I didn't think this through! It's too late to turn back now, so come on!"

Jinora let out a huff, but following Yung out of the study with the pictures in hand. "You have the birth record, don't you?" she hissed.

"Of course I have the birth record." Yung gave it an annoyed wave. They both slowed as they approached the foyer, managing to smile at the confused old couple. "Thank you, for being patient," he said. "I… Kai, Jinora's boyfriend, my… my boy, I've been raising him since I found him on the streets of Omashu, when he was nine years old, he was orphaned at a very young age, and… And, about two days ago, we finally tracked down his birth records. And it said this." He held out the document to them.

Aika took it with a trembling hand, looking it over once, and then her eyes got stuck on a line, before her gaze snapped back to Yung and Jinora, and Tullik gently tugged the paper from her white knuckled grasp to read it himself. "You...you're saying…"

"Kai is your grandson." Jinora could barely believe the words were finally coming out of her mouth. "We...we never knew for certain that he had any living family left, until I saw this, and recognized her." She gave them the picture of Kai as a toddler sitting on Ming's lap, both smiling at the camera. Tears sprung to Aika's eyes when she saw it.

"That's our baby girl," she said to Tullik, pointing at the picture. "That's...our baby girl, with her own baby… oh, Tullik, he looks so much like her."

"Kai was under two years old, at the time," Yung informed them. "I… don't know fully what happened to his parents, but I think he remembers more than he's ever told anyone—he doesn't know, by the way, about all this. We haven't had a chance to tell him yet. Jinora only made the connection earlier this morning, once she saw the photo properly."

Aika looked up at them, tears rimming her green eyes. "When do we get to meet him?"

"Soon," Jinora said. "He's out with his crew, right now, working but we'll bring him by a few days from now, once he's had time to process—"

The door opened with a loud creak, and Kai's voice called out, "We're back early! Momo spilled a drink on himself, but other than that it… was…" He slowly walked into the foyer, and Jinora could see a dozen emotions pass over his face at once, mostly variants of confusion and hesitance, his hand absentmindedly drifting to where his dagger was, the way it always did when he was nervous. "Um, Jin, Yung…" His eyes took in the old documents. His documents. "What's going on?"

"We were planning on telling you properly," Jinora began carefully, when Aika stood up, her tear-streaked face stunned as she looked at Kai.

"You have her eyes," she murmured. Kai took a step back.

"Who are you?"

"Kai, this is the couple I was telling you about," said Jinora. "The Fong family. We… we found out some things, and…"

"I'm really not following, Jin," he said, swallowing.

"Kid," Yung said, looking him in the eye. "You have grandparents."

Kai stepped away from him, his jaw going slack. "I have—what? Are they—" He looked at Aika and Tullik, and Jinora could see the panic in his eyes. "Are they my mother's or my father's—"

"Your mother, Kai," she said quickly. "It's okay."

He swallowed again, looking like an animal backed into a corner. " _I_ —I need to—" He ran back out, and Yung let out a heavy sigh.

"Well, that could have gone better."

"What's wrong?" Aika asked. "Why isn't he happy to see us?"

"Aika, it...he's been through a lot," said Jinora. "Yung, I think you should go see how he's doing."

"You go, kid," Yung told her. "I… I can probably do a better job of explaining, over here."

Jinora twisted the hem of her shirt, and then followed him out into the gardens. "Kai? Kai!" He was walking down the path towards the Waterbender, and Jinora hurried to catch up with him. "Kai! Don't run away from this." She grabbed his shoulder, turning him back towards her, and taking his face in her hands. His cheeks were wet. "Hey, baby, it's okay. You're okay."

"I just—they're going to hate me—"

"No," she wiped her thumbs of his cheeks. "No, they won't hate you, they'll love you, they love everyone—"

"But I killed her. I'm the reason she's dead."

"No you didn't. That wasn't your fault—Kai, they were so happy when we told them you were their grandson—"

"And now they'll have to learn that I killed more people, and that I'm—that I'm fucked up—"

"Kai, no…"

"They're going to be so disappointed that it's me," he said, his voice breaking. "I killed their daughter, Jinora—"

"No. Hey, it's okay, just look at me." Jinora wiped a tear from his cheek. "You did not kill her, okay? That was not your fault. You made her happy in her last years, and her kindness, her love, that gets to live on in you. She was happy in the photo with you, remember? She was so happy. I've talked to them—she wanted children so badly, they want grandchildren so badly. They will love you, _I promise_."

"Even if it's me?"

"Especially because it's you. Listen, we don't have to go back inside yet, but… let's just take a walk, okay? And we can wait for my family to come back from their outing too, and I can explain what's happened to them. You won't have to say a word. Okay?"

Kai melted into her arms. "Okay."

He let her lead him around the garden, their hands tightly joined, before they sat down on a park bench and he sobbed into her shoulder, out of view of the tea room windows where Yung, Aika, and Tullik were sitting now. The first mate had gotten them tea, to help soften what he was about to tell them.

"The most I can figure," he began, "is that Kai's parents—your daughter—he was either separated from them, or they died or… All I know for certain was that he was dropped off at a bad orphanage in Geishou, Omashu when he was two years old. He stayed there until he was six, before he ran away because well… the bitch that ran it hit all the kids, but especially him. He lived on the streets for a few years, and got a bit involved with a gang called the Triple Triads. He was running from them too, when we ran into each other, since he'd stolen from them before booking it… and I took him back to our ship, which used to be run by Captain Zaheer, and he's lived with the crew and I ever since. He became Captain himself, when he was sixteen, and Zaheer's leadership went south. He met Jinora and the Governor, when he saved them in a bank robbery about a year before, and he's been close with her and the Gyatsos since then."

"That poor boy," Aika murmured. "And Ming… She never would have let him get separated from her, as much as she could help it."

"We...we think she's…"

"We accepted long ago, that she had most likely passed on," Tullik said quietly. "But she would be so happy that her son is still alive, and surrounded by so many people that love him. And so are we."

"He's been through a lot," Yung said. "Some would even call him troubled. If… if you don't have the energy to deal with that, after all this time… he's already faced so much disappointment—"

"He is our grandson," Aika said, almost fiercely. "We are never turning our backs on him. Not now that we know that he exists. Even if…" Her voice faltered. "Even if he's not ready for us. What else, do we need to know?"

Yung sighed heavily. "He's been going to therapy for the last...almost six years now. He has tattoos. He's the best sword fighter I've ever seen. And he's been diagnosed with PTSD, depression, and survivor's guilt."

"Survivor's guilt? Because...because of Ming?"

"Among other things, yes," said Yung. His throat tightened. "Kai's been a pirate since he was nine years old, and a killer since he was fourteen, he… there was an incident, when he was sixteen."

"An incident?" Tullik asked.

"It's true, that your daughter was kidnapped by slavers," Yung began slowly. "Ones under Quil's command. Kai gained a reputation, after he became captain through Challenging Zaheer, and one day we were approached by some of Quil's slavers. They offered him a job, and Kai said no, obviously, but they weren't used to hearing the word no, so they started… taunting him, about his mother. They knew he had her eyes, and I guess that's one of the things he's been able to remember and he just—snapped. He killed every last one of them, there were about twenty-five men, in total." Yung looked at the table in front of them. "Like I said he… he's a very troubled young man, even if he has made leaps and bounds, since then."

Aika had a hand over her mouth. "And… and Kai's father?" was all Tullik managed.

"Gone. From what we know… it's for the better."

"So…" Tullik cleared his throat, and dragged a hand down his lined face. "What do we do now?"

"You give him as much time as he needs, to process all this," said Yung simply. "This...won't be easy, on you or him. Taking him in as family might even be taxing on you both, after your quiet lives together."

"That doesn't matter," said Tullik. "That never stopped you from raising him, did it?"

Yung almost smiled. "No, it didn't."

"We just want our grandson," Aika said. "We'll do the work. We'll learn. We just...we just want to know him. We want him to let us love him."

"Good." Yung sighed deeply. "I don't know if or when they'll be back, but I'll check on him later tonight. You can both go back home, if you'd like, and we'll see how he feels about seeing you again. We'll have to do this on his terms, he's not used to living blood family accepting him."

"Alright, thank you. You're all welcome to drop by anytime you like." As they stood up, Aika's eyes lingered on one of the photos of Kai as an 11-year-old boy, still scrawny, but smiling nonetheless. She picked it up gingerly, as if it were a snowflake. "Can I keep this?"

"Of course. I have more copies."

Tullik smiled slowly. "Yung, is it?" The first mate nodded. "Thank you, for taking care of him all these years."

Yung's throat tightened as he smiled back. "It's been one of my greatest privileges," Yung said with a slight nod. He escorted them back out to the main road, waving as they boarded into the carriage and were carried away.

Hopefully, they really would be back soon.

###

Kai was quiet as they laid in bed down at the ship, hours after the Gyatsos had come home and Aika and Tullik—his goddamn grandparents—had left. Jinora was nestled in his arms, both of them dressed in their sleepwear, her breath warm and even against his neck, and he could feel her eyes on him.

"I don't want to talk right now," he said sourly, staring up at his ceiling.

"Then you don't have to," she said in that soft, patient voice that both frustrated him and endeared him to her all at once.

"But you want me to."

"It doesn't matter what I want right now."

"Then why do you keep looking at me?"

"I can't just look at you for the sake of it?" she asked, and he could hear the slight smile in her voice. Another thing she did that could both soothe and irritate him all at once. "Yes, I'm worried about you. That's just what I do, sometimes. But I'm also not going to make you talk, okay?" She buried her face in his neck, her forehead pressing into his skin. "We can just stay here, and I can keep looking at you, and you can keep not-talking for as long as you want."

Kai tried not to smile. "You still want me to talk," he said stubbornly.

"I think it might help," she acknowledged. "But I also never want to rush you. I love you." She pressed a soft kiss to his jaw.

"I love you too," he said, his whole body softening. "I just… I don't know what to think, let alone say."

"That's alright. You usually don't know what to say," she teased lightly, "when it comes to your own feelings."

"I just feel… it's so much, y'know?" He clasped his hands together, over his stomach, with one arm curled around her waist. "There is just so much there, with them being there, and their existence, and… mine." His voice weakened. "And my mother."

Jinora laid her hand on his chest. "Like what?"

"A lot of fear," he admitted. "And guilt. And worry. It's not that I don't want them to be in my life I just—I don't want them to not want me in theirs, once they… once they know who and what I am, and how… how my mother died."

"Yung already told you that he mentioned the incident and they still want you in their lives. That's something, right?"

"But none of them know how my mother died."

"None of us know how she died, but Kai… it doesn't matter. I would still love you. Yung will still love you. Your grandparents will too…" She reached up and cupped one side of his face, turning it towards her. "Is it any worse than the Quil incident?"

"No, but—"

"Were you the one who killed her, directly?"

He frowned. "No, but—"

"Then it won't matter to us, or to them. No one will blame you for her death, however it happened, or however you were involved." Jinora pushed away the thought of Misun. They'd deal with that later. "Trust me."

Kai swallowed. "Can I tell you?"

"Hmm?"

"How she died?"

"Only if you want to. You've told me a bit before. About your family. Your father."

Kai's face closed up, and he sighed through his nose. "He was angry, and drunk, and always angrier when he wasn't drunk. I can remember that much. And he never wanted kids. He hated my sister and I, though I don't know why. I guess my sister must have looked like him, because she didn't look like my mother, but I looked so much like my mother that maybe—maybe he wasn't sure that I was his. He was gone a lot. I think he was a sailor."

"And your mother?" Jinora gently prodded, hoping he would think of happier things.

"She was always so warm, and caring. She'd sing lullabies to me, and make sure my sister and I were safe when our father came home. And… one day I was playing on the rug, and my father came home, and he was so angry, and I guess I was the nearest thing to him because he took a knife from his belt and—" Kai rubbed at a thin scar on his forearm, now mostly covered up by tattoos. "My mother ripped him away from me—he—he kept saying how he never wanted a piece of shit like me—and he—and he killed her. I saw the light in her eyes, my eyes, die and—then my sister came and picked me up and ran away, and I guess she took me to the orphanage and… I guess she left the photograph as an identifier, or something, but I don't… I don't know." Kai blinked rapidly. "I just don't know."

"Kai…" Jinora swallowed hard, searching for something to say. It didn't sound like enough, but all she could manage was, "Your mother's death was not your fault. She loved you, so, so much, and I still love you, too."

Kai shut his eyes tightly, feeling his tears burn underneath. "She died because she loved me."

"She died because she was stuck in a relationship with a terrible man, who would have tried to kill you or her whether or not she'd been there to save you, because his actions are on him. And you are nothing like that, Kai. All of your mother's kindness, and love, and warmth, lives inside you. I don't have to have known her to know that she would be so proud of you. And I bet her parents are proud of you, too. Your grandparents." She laid her hand over his heart. "And I know them. They're so excited to get to know you, Kai."

Tears spilled over his cheeks, as he looked at her. "You—" his voice was tight. "You really think so?"

"Yes, I do." She kissed his cheek, his tear streak smearing under her lips. "You are wonderful, Kai Fong. Nothing, no part of your past, will ever change that."

Kai curled into her, burying his face in her neck and trying to take deep breaths. "I love you too, Jin." He wrapped his arms snug around her, wrapping himself around her as she gently stroked his scalp.

"Just try and get some sleep tonight, love," she told him. "Things will be better in the morning. I promise."

"Okay," he said softly. "Don't let go."

She held him tighter. "Never."


	23. Misun Fong

Chapter Twenty-Three: Misun Fong

When Kai woke up in the morning, Jinora was still there, with tousled hair and drooling on his pillow. He smiled softly, wiping some of the drool from the corner of her mouth, content just to watch her for a moment, and ignore everything else he would have to face today. He had her, after all; how bad could it be? Why had he ever run from this wonderful woman? Kai's fingers found the promise ring at her neck, and he ran his thumb over it.

He wanted to get her another ring, but this time, a proper one. A real one.

He smiled when she stirred, still very much asleep, as he pressed a kiss to her hair. "Marry me," he murmured. He knew she couldn't hear, nor was now the perfect time to ask with everything else going on, but his resolve was set. He'd get her a ring, and then he'd get down on one knee and ask, soon, when the time was right. Maybe once they'd been back together for a year or so, and her research project was completed.

She stirred quietly, her eyes slowly opening. They were big and brown and bright, and melted his heart as always, as she smiled up at him. "Morning," she mumbled sleepily, and their mouths met in a sweet, brief and rather sloppy kiss.

"Morning," he echoed, his lips curving upwards, as he reached up to brush her hair off her cheek. "You know I love you, right?" She giggled softly, looping her arms around his neck.

"I know. And I love you." She rubbed the tip of his nose against his. "You're feeling better?"

"Yeah. Thanks to you."

Her smile lifted in amusement and a bit of confusion. "Me?"

"I bared the worst of myself to you, and you didn't even flinch." He took her hands. "You don't know what that means to me, Jinora. What you mean to me."

Her eyes softened. "Kai, when I say I love you, I mean that I love all of you. Even the rougher parts of you." She cupped his face, running her thumbs along the thin line of stubble growing along his jaw. "Nothing could make me leave."

"Not even when I told you to?"

"No. Not really. I could leave you, as much as you could leave me."

His lips twitched upwards. "So not very much then."

"I don't think so, no," she agreed.

Kai kissed her, soft and yearning. "Jin," he said softly, "I want—I want to try again, with you. I want everything. All of it. All of us. To be a real couple, again."

Her eyes lit up. "Really? You—you're not just saying that because you think you should, after everything?" she checked.

Kai shook his head. "I'm saying it because I don't think I can go another day not being yours. I love you, Jinora Gyatso, with everything that I am."

Tears swam in her eyes, and she let out a soft laugh. "I love you too, Kai Fong." She leaned up and kissed him happily, her smile growing as he kissed her back with just as much enthusiasm.

"And if it's alright with you," he murmured, "I don't ever want us to break up again."

She let out another giggle, wrinkling her nose at him. "I think we can work with that."

Kai kissed her again, tangling her fingers in her hair as he shifted his weight on top of hers, and their kiss deepened. Jinora kept ruining it slightly, but they were both smiling too widely, until the familiar heated look passed between them, and Kai reached for her sleep shorts as she reached for his pants.

He held her close once they were finished and went still, their breathing laboured, the air thick and musty around them. "I love you too," he murmured, his lips brushing the curve of her jaw. He tugged them onto their sides, gathering her into his arms, before he brushed her hair out of her flushed face, gently stroking her cheek. "Thank you, for being patient with me."

"Thank you, for taking me back," she said. "I promise I'll love you better this time. I'll trust you, always."

He played with the promise ring hanging from her neck. "I know. And I'll tell you the things I should have told you, the first time." He nuzzled into the curve of her cheek. "I'll trust you, now that we both know better."

"Kai… once we've figured this thing with your family out, can I… I want to stay on the ship with you, after this. Even if we don't start the research project right away."

Kai blinked. "Are you sure? I...I know how much you love teaching, and I know you wanted to do more job shadowing—"

"I want to stay with you," she repeated. "Once my research project is done, I might try teaching for a few years, but… The most important thing about my future is that you're in it."

Kai smiled softly, pressing his forehead to hers. "That's what you want?"

"More than anything. I can teach wherever I go, whether or not it's for a job. But you…" She took one of his hands, lacing her fingers through his. "I don't want to be away from you any longer. My life is with you, on the _Waterbender_."

"I know you say that now, but you haven't lived on the ship long term yet. We can see how it goes first, and then make a decision." He fought to keep his voice steady. If she kept talking like this, he was either going to believe her, she would possibly regret it, or even worse, he'd propose right here in bed.

She wrinkled her nose at him. "Fine. When did you become the practical one?"

"You're a good influence on me. And I think we've had enough regrets, yeah? And we have plenty of time." He kissed the tip of her nose. "Our whole lives to figure it out. Or, like we've already discussed, two to three years to make a decision about whether we've living on land or not, remember?"

"I don't mind where we live. As long as it's with you."

"That doesn't mean where we live doesn't matter, love. It'll impact where and how we… build our lives together."

Jinora smiled softly. "Alright. We'll think about it."

"Thank you." He lightly ran his fingers up and down her upper arm, and over her shoulder. "Anything else you want to talk about?"

"I don't think so. Anything else _you_ want to talk about?"

He gave her a smile, although it looked more like a grimace. "I'm going to give my… grandparents a chance."

Her smile grew. "You will?"

"Yeah. We… They wanted to have me over for dinner or something, right?"

Jinora nodded. "I can come with you, if you want, and we can bring Yung, too, and whoever else you want."

"Just you and Yung, for now."

"Or, we could invite them here, if you'd feel more comfortable on the Island. It is your home turf."

Kai played with the end of a strand of her hair. "I think I'd prefer that," he said quietly. "Maybe not with your siblings at the table, but I wouldn't mind your parents being there. And Yung and Lefty, maybe." Jinora hummed, a thoughtful look on her face, and Kai poked her in the side. "What?"

"Have you ever thought that Yung and Lefty, might, y'know…?"

Kai smiled. "I don't think Yung likes men, and he's not Lefty's type anyway. But I guess… they have both raised me, in their own ways. Lefty was a bit more like a drunk uncle, but he still always looked out for me."

"Oh. I hadn't really thought about them liking each other before that moment, but...I suppose you're right. Yung's too uptight for Lefty sometimes."

"Yeah," Kai agreed with a chuckle. "I guess sometimes raising kids with your friends turns out just fine, too."

"You turned out much better than 'just fine'."

"Well you have told me I'm handsome before—"

Jinora laughed. "You know that's not what I meant, dork." She brushed a tuft of hair from his forehead, her fingers lingering along his skin. "Sometimes I'm still amazed, that someone that's suffered so much, turned out to be so kind."

Kai's mouth turned up into a small, almost shy smile, one that seemed to grow more endearing every time it made a rare appearance. "No, I'm just… It just makes sense, to not want to hurt the world more, right?"

"You're a good man, Kai. You've made me a better person without even trying."

"Well, yeah, so have you." His eyes turned bright. "You were the first friend I ever had, who was my age, or so close to it, and you had every reason to run from me but you didn't. You never have."

"Why would I ever run from someone so wonderful?"

"I don't always act wonderful."

"Neither do I. But we've both found a way to work through all those times, haven't we?"

"Yeah." He smiled. "We have." He tangled their fingers together, kissing her softly, before he drew away. "We should probably get up, get dressed. I think Daw made pancakes today."

The corners of her eyes crinkled. "And gods forbid you don't get to drown them in syrup while they're still warm."

"Exactly."

Jinora giggled, pushing herself up into a sitting position as Kai got out of bed, and they got dressed in between kisses, after that.

###

Pema set out the last plate, the sheen of the China gleaming at her as she placed the appropriate forks, knives, and spoons on either side. She was only expecting Yung and Lefty that night—Jinora and Kai were out, and the rest of the crew was busy—but she imagined several more plates set out on the table, with the special China they used for newer guests, and smiled slightly. Kai's grandparents. A sweet, loving couple, according to Jinora. All of Kai's hopes and fears, all at once.

"Are you worried, too?" Tenzin asked. She saw his reflection behind her in the plate, and turned to look at him.

"Maybe a little. But if they're as good as Jinora says, then this is good, right? And it's good that Kai's taking this step, even if we don't know exactly where it may lead, yet."

"I can only imagine how Yung feels," said Tenzin. "I know if I was—God forbid—any of our children's only parent, and then other family members showed up practically out of nowhere, I'd be tentative at best."

"Kai's a grown man, Tenzin," said Pema, laying a hand on his arm. "He's not that young boy we met in the hospital anymore. His grandparents won't be able to influence him too much, I think they just want to be part of his life, now."

"And if…" Tenzin sighed. "This wouldn't be the first time people have tried to use him to get to our money."

"I don't think it's that, dear. Don't you think they would have tried to come to us before reaching out to him, if that had been the case? And Jinora knew the information about them, before there was even any hint of a connection. It can't be a coincidence." Pema rested a hand between his shoulder blades. "And besides, through all this… I think he and Jinora are doing better."

Tenzin's face lit up. "What makes you say that?"

"They seem happier, don't you think?"

"They do," he said. "It's been a while since they've gone out just the two of them. It's nice to know they haven't stopped."

"This from the man that was once paranoid about every moment they spent alone together," Pema recalled with a smile.

"They're adults now, and we both know how devoted they are to each other." Tenzin's beard twitched. "I can hardly believe it's been eight years. Thank God Jinora changed my mind, at the hospital."

"Our family has grown since then," said Pema. "This house used to always feel far too big for us. It's perfect, now that we have so many that call this place home as well." The door opened, and her smile grew. "Speaking of which, I believe that's Yung and Lefty."

"You think they'll vote against having the Fongs over for dinner tomorrow?"

"I don't think so. Yung spoke with them, and Lefty's blunt, not cautious." They walked over to the hallway leading to the front door, where Lefty and Yung were waiting for them. "Come in," Pema said, "it's a little silly to wait around in your own home."

###

"I can't believe this," Misun was grumbling to herself, as they rode on the ferry to Air Temple Island the following evening. "How do we even know that that boy is legit—"

"You didn't see his records, and we already told you about the picture of him with Ming," Tullik said. "Why don't you want him to be part of our family?"

"He's a complete stranger, and… And Ming's out there somewhere, we can't take him at his word—"

"A new member of our family has come into our lives," said Aika, placing a hand on Misun's arm. "This is a good thing. It's a wonderful thing—"

"I don't need a nephew, I want my sister back." Misun tugged her arm out of Aika's touch.

"He has her eyes, sweetheart," said Tullik gently.

Misun scowled heavily. "I'll believe it when I see it, and his papers."

Tullik and Aika looked at each other, sharing a heavy sigh as they all fell silent for the rest of the ride. The ferry stopped at the docks of the Island, moored on the opposite side of the docks as the Waterbender, which had a few lanterns and crew members milling aboard on deck, and the glowing windows of the Gyatso manor sparkled on the water, illuminating the path through the gardens as the small family made the trek up to the house.

The Governor and his wife were waiting for them in the back foyer, alongside a large man with a bald head and a pegleg. The man strode forward first, extending his hand, and giving Tullik's a hearty shake.

"I'm Lefty," he said jovially. "Pleasure to meet you. I'm a member of Kai's crew."

"It's good to meet you as well," Tullik said, his voice light and pleasant as he let go. "This is my wife, Aika, and my eldest daughter, Misun."

Aika shook Lefty's hand. "It's lovely to meet you." She glanced at Misun expectantly, but Misun didn't even look at Lefty.

"Well, I think it's about time to go inside," Pema said, walking forwards, and she and Tenzin gave their introductions as well, even while Misun stayed stonily silent. "The table should be set, so…" She gestured to the house. "We already have coffee, tea, juice, and some light appetizers waiting for you."

"Wow, that all sounds awfully fancy," Aika said, as they walked towards the door. "Thank you very much."

"Of course," Pema said. "We hope you enjoy it." She opened the door for them, and they all walked in, the Fongs still looking a little starstruck as they looked around the house, and she smiled. "Kai had a similar look on his face, the first time he was here too."

"Did he?" Aika asked, smiling softly. "And...he likes it here now?"

"I think his ship will always be his preferred home, but he has grown comfortable here, yes," said Pema. "What's your home like?"

"Much smaller than this," Tullik said with a slight chuckle. "Smaller than the one we had in Ba Sing Se, even, but we like being closer to the water, and have less walking to do. Our home here is cozier, and we've finished unpacking."

"I'm sure it's still lovely," Pema said. "Jinora loves visiting you both, and she always talks about how nice your house is."

"And Kai prefers cozier quarters anyway," said Lefty. "You thought of having him over?"

"Ever since we found out about him," said Aika. "I hope by the end of tonight he's more willing to visit us."

"He's a little rough around the edges still," said Lefty, "but he comes around."

Aika looked relieved, as Lefty pushed open the doors to the dining room. "Oh, good." Her breath got caught in her throat when she caught sight of her grandson, standing next to Yung and holding Jinora's hand, looking troubled, even as he turned to see them.

"Hi," he said, haltingly, clearly unsure of what to say. "I—I'm Kai, um, obviously. It's—" He swallowed, and hastily extended his hand. "Good to meet, you. I—I'm sorry I ran off the other day."

"Oh, that's alright," said Aika gently, taking his hand just as carefully. "It was a shock for us too, but a pleasant surprise all the same. Right, Tullik?"

Tullik nodded, beaming softly. He took Kai's hand once Aika let go, his smile growing at Kai's firm grip. "It's good to meet you, Kai."

"Thank you," Kai looked like he wanted to say sir, but bit it back. He glanced at Misun, glancing away quickly when she pointedly looked away. "Um, would you like to sit down? The table's already made, and there's already some refreshments and appetizers on the table. If—if you want." He quickly glanced at Jinora, smiling softly when she gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.

"And we have more than just vegetarian options, don't worry," Jinora added with an easy smile. "And Misun, it's good to see you too."

"We'll see," Misun muttered. Aika frowned at her, but the group led the Fongs to the formal dining hall anyway, where tiered platters of finger sandwiches, tea cookies, spring rolls, mini-quiches, and wontons of every variety were carefully arranged in the centre. There was a teapot and a jug of hot chocolate set near every fourth seat, and two bottles of wine at one end of the table, resting in a bucket of ice. Water was already poured for everyone when they sat down.

"Everyone, please help yourselves," said Pema, as they were all settled. As she watched the others fill up their plates, waiting to fill up her own, she said, "Mr. Fong, Jinora mentioned that you were a sailor, correct? That's something you and your grandson have in common."

"It's just Tullik," he said, glancing at Kai with a smile. "Yes, Jinora mentioned that she was seein' a sailor, too, though I never even thought to hope…"

"Oh." Kai managed a small smile. "Yeah, I...I mainly work with merchants, now, and...it's nice to have legal work now, for me and my crew." His smile faded for a moment. "You—it was mentioned that I used to be a pirate, right?"

"I mentioned it," Jinora assured him. "Long before...we knew all of this."

"I think it's very admirable, what you've done," said Aika, setting her half-eaten quiche down. "Using what lot you were given in life for good. Continuing to do good, in your own unique way."

"Oh. Um, thank you. It's really thanks to Tenzin and Pema, honestly, that we were able to find honest work. What do you two do? Beyond running libraries?"

"I was a fisherman, and Aika was an artist and a writer," said Tullik, smiling.

"You are?" Kai asked her. "I...I can draw, a little bit."

"You can? I'd love to see some of your work!" said Aika.

"They're just sketches—"

"Only if you want to show them," Aika added, "but I'd love to see them, if you're willing."

"Do you paint?" he asked, as lieu of getting out of the current focus of the conversation.

"Yes, watercolour mostly. I… I have a few pictures of your mother, that I painted, if you would like?"

Kai's eyes widened. "No, they're—those are pieces you made of your daughter, I couldn't—"

"She's your mother, too."

"It's alright, really, she—I have a picture of her now, and that's more than I thought I would ever get."

Aika smiled softly. "You have her eyes, you know," she said fondly.

"Yes, I...I've been told." Kai cleared his throat. "And you said that, before I…" He glanced at his plate. "What was she like?"

"So, so kind," Tullik said. "She tended to a garden, and brought home strays, and she… wanted children so very much."

Kai's smile grew slightly. "I don't remember much," he admitted. "But...she had a nice voice. And good hugs. I was too little to understand anything, but I know she loved me… she loved me and my sister a lot."

"Sister?" Aika said, her wrinkled brow furrowing.

Kai nodded, swallowing hard, and glancing in between the three Fongs and his dinner plate. "She was six years older than me I think, but we didn't look very much alike, and I… I don't know her name, or what happened to her. I—now that I had my mother's name to go on, I was going to start looking for her."

"We can try to look for her together, if you'd like," Aika suggested. "I would love—"

"How did she die?" Misun asked suddenly, and Kai looked at her.

"What?"

She grit her teeth, blue eyes like ice as she looked back at him. "My parents say that you say my sister is dead, and I want to know why."

Kai's throat went dry, and Jinora gripped his hand. "I—" His voice broke. "I can't—do this, right now—"

"How did she die?"

"Misun," Aika reproached, "that's not—"

"We deserve to know."

"Lay off him," Yung snapped. "He doesn't owe you anything—you just show up after twenty-four years and think you get to know all about the worst thing that ever happened to him?!"

"Well who the fuck are you?" Misun demanded. "His guardian? You're not his family—"

"Neither are you—"

Kai stood up abruptly from the table. "I can't do this right now," he said simply, his voice still weak. "Aika, Tullik, I'm sorry—" He stepped away. Aika and Tullik looked after him, seemingly torn between wanting to run after him and wanting to allow him the space he needed.

"Funny how he just runs off again," Misun grumbled, and Yung looked ready to deck her.

"You don't know _anything_ ," Jinora said, her voice deadly quiet. "You don't know anything about him so shut your fucking mouth."

"Excuse me?"

"I've been as polite as I can manage, but you are so bitter and mean—whether you like it or not, he is your sister's son and hating him won't bring her back! You don't know the half of what he's been through, or even what your sister's been through, and they both still managed to be kind fucking people _so shut the fuck up_!" The room went silent, and Jinora could feel her parents resisting the urge to reprimand her. She stood up suddenly, pushing her plate aside. "Aika, Tullik, please feel free to stay for the rest of dinner. Even you, Misun. I...I need to go find Kai."

She left the room, wiping at her cheeks, and found her boyfriend in a room he'd hardly used since he'd stopped going to school, hearing the dull thunk of knives hitting a board as she pushed the door open.

"Kai?"

"Don't wanna talk," he mumbled, throwing another knife against the board. It stuck on one of the _x_ 's he'd drawn on the outer ring, and he took another knife from the rack.

"Can I stay here, then?"

He stopped mid-throw, letting out a heavy sigh. "Jin, you don't have to miss dinner for me—"

"We'll have one of the servants bring up leftovers if we get hungry. I don't care about missing dinner, I care about you."

He looked at her, and then turned his attention back to the board, throwing the knife so hard it left a crack in the wood when it landed. "I don't want to be around anyone, right now, Jinora," he said tiredly.

Her heart sank, but she nodded. "I understand. Just let me know when you're going to bed, okay? I know you don't want me to worry about you, but…"

"I know." It seemed like he tried to smile, but it came out as more of a grimace. "Now go be with your family."

She knew the underlying message was _because I don't have one_ , but she pursed her lips, knowing that anything she said, he likely wouldn't listen too right now, too tangled up in hurt, and she reluctantly left the room, going back to the dinner table, which was now deathly silent except for the quiet clink of china and cutlery.

"Mother, I'm going to excuse myself early," she said a few minutes into the main course.

"I understand," said Pema. "I can bring food up to you, and even Kai, even if he doesn't end up eating it."

"That'd be nice. Thank you." She briefly kissed her mother's cheek, then got up and kissed the top of her father's bald head, smiling at Aika and Tullik a little sadly, making a point not to even look at Misun.

Yung grabbed Jinora's arm on her way out, speaking in a low voice, but it was so quiet everyone could hear anyway. "How is he?"

Jinora gave him a tiny smile. "Blowing off steam."

"What—"

"He's in the house gymnasium right now, throwing knives. He just wants to be alone right now."

Yung relaxed. "Oh, good. Okay. For a second, I thought he'd left the island."

"We can send a servant down," Tenzin offered, "to make sure the ferry won't leave."

Jinora gave her father a grateful smile. "Thank you," she said. She grabbed his arm before he could leave. "And, um...I'm sorry for being crass."

Tenzin's beard twitched. "You're too old for us to reprimand at this point, and...you weren't wrong." Tenzin gave Jinora's forearm a gentle squeeze, before finally leaving.

Jinora followed Tenzin, even if she went up the stairs while he headed to the main foyer, and Yung muttered under his breath things even Pema, who was sitting beside him, couldn't hear.

"He's gonna be fine Yung," said Lefty, clapping him on the shoulder. "He's been doing better than ever, you said so yourself."

Yung glared up at him. "Yes, but—"

"He'll be alright. Have faith in him."

"I do, but—"

"Yung?" Jinora came running back down the stairs. "I can't find him."

Lefty frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I stopped by the gym, on my way up, just to see, and he's not there anymore."

"Okay, let's not freak out—he may have just gone to the bathroom or something." But even as Lefty said it, Yung knew it was wrong.

"He could've gotten to the docks before your father," Yung said, standing up, and Lefty grabbed his shoulder.

"Yung—"

"Don't test me, Akash," Yung said sharply. He and Jinora ran to the door, their stomach dropping when the saw the ferry in the distance.

"I'm sorry," came Tenzin's voice, as he ran up to them. "I was too late—"

"We're getting the next ferry," said Jinora.

"What's going on?" Aika said, now that they were all standing up and making their way to the back foyer, her husband, daughter, Pema, and Lefty included.

Jinora wrought her hands together. "Kai has a habit of… running away, when he relapses."

"Relapses into what?" Misun demanded.

Pema looked at Aika and Tullik, frowning. "You didn't tell her?"

"Tell me what?" she said impatiently, crossing her arms.

"Kai's struggled with his mental health for most of his life," Lefty said gruffly. "A few...five years back, I guess, he was diagnosed with a bunch of things. Depression, survivor's guilt, PTSD. But running and picking a fight used to be what he'd do, when he was in a dark place. Namely, when he was reminded of something he went through before we found 'im."

"So...Ming's death…?" Aika's voice wavered.

"Was something no one, especially no child, should ever have experienced," Jinora said softly.

"That poor boy," murmured Aika. "We knew he had a troubled past, but…"

"'Troubled' is a mild way of putting it," Jinora said. "Now, Yung, what are the fighting rings in the city? Clubs?"

"I'll go get the crew," Lefty volunteered, while Yung rattled off a list of places, all of which sounded more violent than the last.

"We can split up," Jinora said. "You and I can take the centre of the city while the others search by quarter."

"We want to help," said Tullik, but Jinora only smiled sadly.

"I...I don't know how much seeing you would help him, right now," she said gently. "He has a lot of guilt, and seeing you…"

"We understand," Aika said, although her eyes were slightly downcast. Misun stayed silent and blank faced, even if there was a crease in her brow as though from worry.

"Thank you. Feel free to stay for dessert, and however long you want. We'll bring him back once we've found him."

"Thank you." Aika took Jinora's hands, squeezing them gently before letting go.

Jinora pulled on her coat, and followed her family and the rest of the crew out to the docks to board the ferry when it came. Yue Bay parted beneath the bow of the boat, until they moored at Port Bosco's harbour. They fanned out, most of the crew taking carriages to different parts of the city, while Appa and Momo stayed behind to keep watch.

Jinora got into a carriage with Yung, headed straight for the centre of the city. "Think he'll be okay?" Jinora asked.

"I hope so, kid. I hope so."

###

They split up once they reached the centre, Yung heading for the poorer part of the centre of town while Jinora checked out the richer back-alley fighting rings. After being unable to find him after five secret fighting rings—run and funded by some of the richest people in the city—she found a quiet spot, a small park area with trees and a lush field, and even a few lakes and ponds. She sat down at one of the benches, burying her face in her hands. Where was she going to find him?

"Jinora?"

She paused, then slowly looked up, hoping it wasn't just her ears tricking her. She almost collapsed in relief when she saw Kai standing in front of her, his hands in his pockets, no apparent new scars or bruises on his arms.

She stood up and threw her arms around him, burying her face in his shoulder as he hugged her back. "Jin, what are you doing here?"

She pulled away, holding his shoulders firmly. "Me? Where did you go? We've been worried sick!"

"I just needed to get away—"

"Please tell me you didn't go to any of the fighting rings—"

"You think I'd do that?"

" _I don't know_ , Kai! You ran off after what happened at dinner and we got worried, okay?"

Kai sighed, taking her hands from his shoulders and holding them, his fingers warm and calloused against hers. "Honestly, I...I thought about it."

Jinora frowned slightly. "And that's why you left on the ferry."

"I spent the entire ride thinking about it, and even came out here, thinking I'd look for some place to...blow off steam, but…" He ran his thumb over her fingers. "I realized that I...didn't want to do that, anymore. I don't like fighting beyond sparring, and the idea of letting myself get beat up didn't sound as relieving anymore. Because I'd still think about everything, you know? And everything that Dr. Aput said came to my head, and then I thought of Yung, and you, and the rest of the crew… So I kind of just stopped walking, and sat down here. I saw the pond," he nodded towards the pond behind them, "and it made me feel a little better, I guess." He let go of her hands and sat down, patting the patch of grass next to him. She sat down on it, turning to face the pond. "When I was little, after the orphanage, and before the _Waterbender_ , there was a time when I just stayed by a pond on the fringes of Geishou. I liked watching the bumbleflies, and the spider-frogs. It was the first water form I was ever close to, and it felt like home." He smiled slightly. "Guess it was foreshadowing."

"So...you've really just been here, all this time?"

Kai nodded. "It's really peaceful here at night. Everyone else is at the movers or at restaurants, or some other fancy place with lights. No one wants to come to a city park in the evening."

Jinora smiled slightly, resting her head on his shoulder. "You're right. It is nice."

"I'm sorry for worrying you. I didn't think anyone would realize I'd left before I came back home. I guess the rest of the crew is still out searching?"

Jinora nodded. "I can go back and find Yung, and you can stay longer if—"

"No, it's okay. I'll come with you." He got up, holding his hand out to her. "I don't feel like running anymore, and well… my home isn't at a pond, anymore, either."

Jinora smiled, taking his hand as he held her up onto her feet. She wrapped her arms tight around him, holding him close. "Thank you," she whispered.

He nuzzled into cheek. "For what?"

"For learning how to love yourself."

He smiled, holding her tighter. "I had some good teachers." He pulled away slowly, his hands still resting on her elbows. "C'mon. Let's find the rest of the crew, before they turn over all of Republic City."

###

They all gathered back together in the main dining hall for hot chocolate, afterwards, once everyone had been rounded up and took the ferry back to the Island. Kai and Jinora stayed in one of the smaller tearooms, sipping their hot chocolate as they sat by the glowing fire.

"Aika and Tullik stayed the entire time," Jinora said.

"I know." He'd seen them standing by the manor with the Gyatsos when they'd come back, but he hadn't known what to say, instead hugging the Gyatsos before sneaking off to the tea room.

"Misun is dealing with her own feelings about this," Jinora continued, watching him when he stayed silent. "To her, your mother basically just died, but Aika and Tullik have had time to heal. You being part of their lives won't hurt them."

"I know." He looked away from the fire. "I just… I want them to choose her, if they have to choose. I don't want them to lose another daughter, because of me." Kai looked down at his hot cocoa. "And I… know, on some level, my mother's death wasn't my fault, but she still died protecting me."

"She loved you, Kai. If there's an afterlife, she's probably there, still loving you. Aika and Tullik are parents themselves. They'll understand." Jinora rested her hand on his shoulder. "You don't have to talk to them now. I just… I think you'll all be good for each other, in the end. Maybe even heal each other, a little." She ran her thumb over his sleeve, smiling softly. "And I know that eventually, they won't just love you for your mother. They'll learn to love you for you."

"The way your parents learned to love me, and not just because of the bank?"

Her smile grew. "Exactly." She scooted closer, and her lips lingered on his cheek. "I love you so much, Kai Fong."

His eyes rested on her. "I love you too." He leaned forward, and rested his forehead against hers. "Jinora. Marry me."

Her eyes widened. "Kai?"

"This isn't a great way to propose, is it?" he mumbled, and Jinora laughed softly in disbelief, wrapping her arms around him and kissing him briefly.

"It's fine," she said with another laugh. "Yes, I'll marry you." She kissed him again, lingering as he drew closer.

"I'll get you another ring," he said, threading his fingers through her hair. "And we… we can have as long of an engagement as we want."

"Yeah," Jinora said, beaming. "It sounds silly, but...I already sort of feel like we're married, you know? That once we actually get married, it'll just be to let everyone else know."

"I know exactly what you mean. I've known you're the only woman for me for almost ten years now. Nothing can change that."

Jinora curled into his side once she set her empty mug down. "Want to spend the rest of the night in your room on the ship?"

"I don't really want to go out in the cold. Could we go to your room instead?"

"Alright." She pressed a kiss to his cheek, then took his hand. "Shall we?"

Kai laced their fingers together. "We shall."

They got dressed for bed silently, and Kai nestled himself in her arms once they got comfy under the covers together. "Jin?" he said softly, and she let out a hum, running her fingers through his hair, while his fingers lightly grazed her waist, under her sleep shirt. "Do I take your name, still, or…?"

"I don't mind either way," she murmured. She smiled softly. "Jinora Fong has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?"

He looked at her thoughtfully, then said, "Why don't we take each other's names?"

"Hmm?"

"Like...we both become Gyatso-Fong, or Fong-Gyatso? I know it sounds like a lot, but we could take one of either when we need to, and it'd be nice to have a little bit of each other, you know? And in my line of work, you'd be known as Jinora Fong, and in your world, I'd be Kai Gyatso, and our kids could… pick, I guess, depending on which road they want to go down."

Jinora's smile turned sly. "Kids?"

"Well, yeah, I thought you wanted them," he said, grinning slightly. "Otherwise I think we might have a bit of a problem, with not having them."

Jinora trailed her fingers up his chest. "Is that so?"

"Mmhmm. You're so needy in bed," he purred.

"Shut up," she mumbled, pressing a kiss to his jaw.

"And you're the one who's loud." He ran a hand down her thigh, pulling her closer. Jinora sighed, as his hand slipped under her sleep shorts and cupped her crotch. "Didn't you want me to seduce you more often, Gyatso?"

Jinora smiled, leaning back against her pillows as he slowly ran his fingers along her entrance. "Is that what this is?" she asked, content to be pampered.

Kai let out a soft snort. "Why don't you tell me how you want to be seduced, then?"

"Don't you know by now, Captain?"

He pressed his lips to the spot below her earlobe. "Remind me."

Jinora played with the end curls of his hair, near the downwards curve of the back of his head. "I want your fingers and your mouth," she told him. "I want to submit to you. I want you to make love to me." She let out a soft sigh as he sucked on her pulse point, gently stroking her damp, tender folds. "Kai," she whispered, barely holding back a shiver.

"I know, love," he soothed. "I'll take care of you tonight," he promised, pushing a finger inside her up to the knuckle. "Just relax." He nipped at her earlobe as she whimpered, bucking into his hand while he curled his finger in and out of her. He shushed her, his other hand moving to hold down her hip, and he pushed another finger inside her, and she bit down hard on her bottom lip, as he helped her rock against his hand. "That's it, baby." His hand stroked her hip bone. "Good girl."

"Kai," she breathed, grasping at his hip. "I want…"

"I know." He guided her hand beneath the front of his pants, her nails scraping the underside of his hard cock, which throbbed against her palm. "Let's get our clothes off," he murmured in her ear, "and then I'll give you what you want."

They both withdrew their hands, shedding his pants and her sleep shorts, and then her top, before coming back to each other. Kai kissed her with everything he had, taking her face in his hands, before trailing kisses down her throat and chest and stomach, until his head was buried between her legs and she was writhing under him, her hands tangled in his hair as her thighs quivered around him.

"Kai," she gasped, her voice tight as he unraveled her with each hard lash of his tongue. He kept a firm grip on her hips, lapping at the wetness between her legs. She grasped at the sheets around her, her knuckles turning white as she came with a loud, hoarse moan, her back arching off the bed. Kai rose from between her legs, wiping at his mouth as he rose to press a hard kiss to her lips, muffling the sound.

"Told you you were the loud one," he mumbled, nipping at her bottom lip.

"Shut up," she panted, kissing him again. They rolled over twice, enjoying the switch of their positions before going back to their original one, of him on top and her underneath, and he took her hands and pinned them on either side of her head, tangling their fingers together.

"I love you," he murmured, aligning their hips. He was hard and she was dripping and it was perfect.

Jinora squeezed his hands tightly. "I love you too." Her body shuddered as he slid into her in one swift motion, rutting into her almost immediately. She pushed her hips into his with each thrust, her mouth slipping against his as they made love. Her body shuddered again when she came around him, moaning and trembling as he continued thrusting, carrying her through it, until he came too, spilling deep inside her. She whimpered softly, clutching at his shoulders. "Kai?" Her voice was barely more than a breath.

"Yes, Jin?"

"You really want to have kids?"

He smiled breathlessly. "With you? Yeah. Why?"

"I want them too," she said, sighing as he melted into her. "I want to carry your children."

He nuzzled his nose into her cheek. "You'd be a good mother," he murmured. "I don't know if I'd be a good father. But I learned from Yung, and your parents. I...I can't be that bad, right?"

"You'll be a wonderful father." She looped her arms around his neck. "Our children will be so loved."

He rolled them over onto their sides, holding her to his chest. "I'm sorry I scared you, earlier."

"I'm just glad that I found you where I did." She cupped his cheek, smiling when he leaned into her touch. "I'm so proud of you, Kai."

"I think I'm proud of myself, too." He kissed her forehead, and they settled again, getting comfortable after he pulled out of her.

"So… how long have you wanted to marry me?" she asked, when they were lying face to face.

He smiled softly, brushing a loose strand of hair from her face. "I'm not really sure when I started," he admitted. "But I think I wanted to even before we started dating at school. And then the morning after I found out about...about my grandparents, and you'd spent the night here, being so patient with me… I looked into your face as you slept, and I just sort of knew. I don't want to wake up to anyone else." His smile turned into a slight grin. "Except maybe our future kids yelling at us to wake up. But like you said, this… marriage will just make it official. For a long time, when I was a real pirate, I thought I would never be able to marry you—the law would never permit it—but now that I'm able, in full legality… I want to make you my wife in a way that no one will ever be able to deny."

Jinora played with the promise ring hanging from his neck. "And I'm so excited to make you my husband, in every way possible." She pressed her forehead to his again. "And we'll figure out where we want to live, soon enough. After my research project?"

"Yeah. We'll have plenty of time to talk about it then."

"Though I still have a feeling that I'll be perfectly happy with you here."

"You have no idea how much I love hearing you say that," Kai smiled, "but I still want you to have enough time onboard to make sure. If you don't like it here long term, we'll find a compromise. We've gotten good at that."

"We have," she agreed, her smile faltering when his did. "What's wrong?"

"I just realized I didn't talk to your parents before asking you."

Jinora rolled her eyes, swatting him on the arm. "Like they were going to say no, dummy."

Kai pouted. "I know, but—it's the principle of the thing, babe."

She giggled. "That's a saying you learned from me."

"And I used it properly, because it's more about asking them than getting an answer, though we're pretty sure they'd say yes—"

"My parents are going to be very happy that I'm marrying an absolute dork," Jinora grinned. "Although we can wait to tell them, so they never have to know you asked without speaking to them first. You can do it before you get the ring, I suppose?" she half-teased, half-suggested.

"Yeah. I...I can even try making them dinner, when I ask?"

"To soften them up? Even though they'll say yes as long as you don't poison them?" She paused. "Although they'd say yes even if you did..."

Kai smiled and shook his head at her. "It'd also to be to thank them," he continued. "For everything. I never thought they'd care about me so much, and I know, given how different my world was from yours, it really was a leap of faith for them."

"It was the best leap of faith any of us have ever taken." She trailed her hand over his chest, kissing his ring. "I am so grateful for that day, every day of my life."

"So am I." He kissed her lips, before she pulled away and rested her head on his chest, and they fell asleep like that, content and warm with the sheets pulled up to their shoulders.

Until Pema walked into her daughter's bedroom at mid-morning, anyway.

"Jinora?"

At first, Jinora thought she was hallucinating the sound of her mother's amused voice in her bedroom, because it couldn't be—and then she opened her eyes, and let out a shriek, glancing down to frantically check that her sheets covered her and Kai properly (and thankfully they did). "Mother!"

"Oh, sorry! I didn't expect Kai to be in here so late!"

Jinora glanced over at Kai, who had buried himself under the covers, but what part of his face she could see was red. "Mother, can you just get out?"

Pema held up her hands in surrender, and started inching towards the door, even if she was clearly trying not to smile too wide. "Of course, dear, I'm going…"

"And don't tell dad!" Jinora called after her.

"I won't!" She shut the door, and Jinora let out a long sigh, throwing her boyfriend— _fiancé_ , she reminded herself—an annoyed glance when he didn't emerge out from under her covers.

"Really Kai?" She wrangled her sheets out of his grasp.

His ears were still red. "Your mom just came in, and I'm supposed to _not_ be embarrassed—"

"She was clearly unsurprised, calm down."

Kai dragged a hand down his face. "I'm not the one who got woken up by a scream.

"I didn't expect her to come in! My parents almost never come in—"

"Well, if I'm embarrassed about your mom, you should have to be embarrassed about your dad, because he's talked to me about our—physical, relationship, back when we were broken up—"

" _What?_ "

"Not explicitly, but he...implied it, kind of? I guess he finally gave up on plausible deniability."

Jinora crossed her arms over her chest, huffing. "Great, so both my parents know about our sex life."

"They know we have sex," Kai corrected her. "Which is just confirmation of what they already would have assumed. It's really not that bad."

"Then why were you so spooked?"

"Your mom walked in on us and you screamed right in my ear, was I supposed to wake up completely calm? And you're always more… covered when we fall asleep, anyway. What if she saw my—"

"Okay, okay, I get it." She sighed. "We'll make sure the door's locked next time?"

Kai's expression softened. "Yeah. Thank you."

Jinora managed a small smile, pecking him on the lips. "Breakfast now?"

"I'll be down in a bit. You go without me, I...need a little time to figure out how to look your mom in the eye again."

"We could go down and eat with the crew?" Jinora suggested.

"It would be nice to see the crew. I haven't really seen them since… my grandparents arrived, and all this."

Her smile grew. "Then it's settled. And...don't tell the cooks here, but Daw's cooking is better, anyway."

"I've always known that too." Kai kissed her cheek, before sliding out of bed and going to pull on his clothes, and he did up the clasp of Jinora's dress when she pulled on a fresh one, taking her into his arms when they paused in front of her door. "I love you."

Jinora briefly kissed him. "I love you too. Now, let's go. I'm hungry."

###

When there was a knock at Misun's door, she hadn't expected the pudgy first mate to be staring back at her on the other side that morning.

"...Can I help you?" she asked with a deep frown.

"I thought you and I should have a little chat."

"I wasn't really expecting any guests—"

"I'm not asking. Now either you get out here, or I'm coming in."

Misun glared at him, but stepped out of the doorway and shut the door behind her all the same. She crossed her arms in front of her chest. "What?"

"You," Yung said tersely, "need to lay off Kai, that's what."

Misun scoffed. "Please, he came back yesterday safe and sound."

"He is a very damaged young boy and—"

"And I don't know if it's escaped your notice, but he's not a boy anymore. He's a grown ass man, and he doesn't just get to waltz into my parents lives and act like he didn't ruin them."

"Ruin—" Yung's jaw clenched. "He didn't ask for any of this—"

"Neither did we—"

"Your parents accepted him. Why can't you at least try—your sister loved him, isn't that enough?"

"For all we know she loved his father too, and clearly he's not here either—"

"Kai hates his father," Yung cut her off. "He's never said as much, and he's never said why, but it's not hard to figure it out, if you get your head out of your ass, and think about it for more than a second."

Misun paused. "You're saying…?"

"All we know is that your sister is a slave. We don't have any idea how she came across Kai's father, only that she did. And that Kai has never shown any of the affection he has for a mother he can hardly remember towards his father, so clearly there's a reason why."

Misun's lips thinned. "Why won't he tell us how she died, then?"

"Oh, you want to make a child relive the way his mother was most likely murdered when he was barely old enough to remember it?"

"Shut up—and I told you, he's not a child—"

"If I hadn't found him, he'd be dead. Because after whatever he went through with your sister, he was in an orphanage that was hell on earth enough for him to pick the streets over it, and then he was in a gang, and they almost killed him, and even when I found him, I couldn't protect him. From our old captain, from having to participate in raids, from the memories that haunted him. He wanted to die. You don't get to send him back to that place because you can't act like the grown up you're demanding him to be!"

"You—you don't know me!"

"And you don't know him! _I raised him_!"

"What on earth is all this shouting about?" came Tenzin's voice, as he rounded the corner of the hallway near Misun's room. "Yung, Miss Fong, what is going on?"

"He came, and started yelling at me," Misun said.

"Oh, please," Yung said, hand on his hip.

"Well I am going to ask that while you are both here, you are civil in my house," said Tenzin, raising his eyebrows and using his best 'Governor' voice. "This is a difficult transition for all of us and we do not need any infighting, especially since we barely escaped an incident last night. Do I make myself clear?"

Yung sighed. "Yes, Tenzin."

Misun waited a beat, and then said sullenly, "Yes, Governor."

"Good. And both of you, will keep this conflict away from Kai."

"Keep what away from me?" All three of them froze, as Kai came around the corner, nonplussed and brow furrowed.

Yung broke the awkward silence first. "Kid, I thought you were down at the ship."

"Yeah, I was, but I thought I'd—Otaku had an idea of going down to the main harbour, to see what we could trade, I figured you'd want to know… where I was." Kai rubbed the back of his neck. "After yesterday. Since Jinora was gonna come with me, too, we thought we'd go to a bookstore or something, and nobody else would know where… yeah."

"Oh, of course," said Tenzin. "And if you'd like, you can take whatever you want from the library. I know Jinora has some books she's fond of here."

"Oh. Um, thank you." He glanced between the three of them. "What were you talking about?"

"Nothing to worry yourself over, kid," Yung said, but Kai fixed him with a stare.

"Yung."

"Kiddo—"

"Don't 'kiddo' me right now. What is it? Because if it's about me, I'm fine. Really. Healthy coping mechanisms, and all that. You don't have to protect me from—" Kai swallowed. "From my own family."

Yung looked at him, and knew he wasn't getting out of it this time. That maybe neither of them could, for once. Why he was pushing it now, he didn't exactly now, but how did the Fongs have anymore of a right to know than he did, when he'd stood by Kai through everything, never pressing despite how badly he wanted to know, to help? "That hasn't always been true though, has it?"

Kai swallowed again. "It… hasn't," he admitted. "But that's not—"

"Did he kill her, Kai?"

Kai took a step back. "Yung, don't make me answer that—"

"I think if it was a 'no' you'd have no trouble saying it, kid." Before Kai could take another step away, Yung held out his arms. "Hey. Hey, come here. It's okay."

Kai's face crumbled, and then hardened. "I am not having this conversation with any of you right now."

"Kai—"

"I need to go. Jinora's waiting for me in the foyer."

"Kai, please—"

"I'll see you later." Kai left abruptly before Yung or Tenzin could say anything else.

All three of them were quiet for a moment. "So…" Misun was quiet. "Ming was killed...by his father."

"Seems like it, doesn't it?" said Yung bitterly. "And he would have been three years old, maximum, at the time of it. Younger still, possibly, to remember it." He turned helplessly to Tenzin. "Do you think Jinora knows, and she's helping him?"

"She might," said Tenzin. "It seems that there's very little they keep from each other now, doesn't it? And if I had to pick who I thought would know, if it wasn't you, it would be her."

"She probably won't tell us anyway," said Yung, "unless she really felt he was in danger… Tenzin, is there anyway we could try and track his father down? Find out what happened to him, and get him thrown in jail if he's not there already, or dead?"

"There should be some records," he considered. "None on Kai's birth certificate, obviously, but maybe from the house they lived in, as we do have the address. It would likely be put down in both of their names, so that she couldn't just up and leave as easily. But… would Kai want us to? The last time he acted in revenge—you know more than anyone, what that did to him."

"It's not gonna be him acting this time," said Yung. "And we can handle it. He won't have to know until it's already over."

Tenzin stroked his beard. "I'm still not sure it's a wise idea, Yung, to enact without him."

Yung rolled his eyes, and pushed past both him and Misun. "Then it's a good thing he's my kid and not yours."


	24. The Truth

**a/n:** shorter chapter but i think it more than makes up for it in emotion. expect the next (and regular 10k+ length) chapter up soon

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Four: The Truth

Aika hadn't expected to find herself alone with Lefty, but she hardly minded. He was nice in that gruff way, and he reminded her a little bit of Tullik, especially back in his sailing days. He helped her out in the kitchen, since the family cook had retired and Daw was down at the ship, but baking had also been a welcome distraction for Aika, especially after Ming had gone missing. It had helped her get used to cooking for one less person.

"I didn't know you could cook," she said, a pleasant smile on her face as she watched Lefty stir the bowl of batter.

"I can just follow directions. We all try to help Daw as much as we can."

"It's surprising how much sailing can teach young men household skills," said Aika. "Tullik's quite the cook himself, and he's even able to help me mend the clothes. If only that sort of thing was taught to young men in schools."

"The sea's a good, if unforgiving teacher," said Lefty. "Did you and your husband meet while he was sailing?"

"He would always come spend time at the bookstore I ran, whenever he ported on the river that snakes into Ba Sing Se," she remembered fondly. "When we got married, he retired, and helped me run the bookstore. What about yourself?"

"I sort of have a partner, named Rashun Riker. He runs a paper here in the city, but we're rather unconventional, obviously, as we don't live together, and for our age. We're both getting up there. But I've been a pirate my whole life, I never really wanted to settle down, and he didn't either, so I suppose we're lucky it worked out well."

"That's still lovely, that you can spend time together when you're here. Getting married isn't for everyone, but what's important is that we have people to be happy with, wherever we are."

Lefty's eyes crinkled. "Very true. And I promise you, Aika, Kai will work through all this. He always does. He's a fighter with a big heart."

Aika smiled. "His mother was like that too. Lefty… Yung told me about him, the other day, but it only seemed like the surface, I… I want to know who my grandson is. Tullik and I both do."

"He's always been sort of private. But he'll warm up to you both. It'll just take a while. We've known him for years, and he still keeps some things to himself, sometimes. He tells the most to Yung, and to Jinora."

"I just wish there was a way to let him know that we want to know him. That whatever has happened, whatever he has done, Tullik and I just want to be his family."

Lefty thought for a moment. "Want to come up to lunch on the ship, one of these days? Just you and your husband. No offence to your daughter, but…"

Aika sighed. "No, it's fine. I understand. Misun is still struggling."

"Do you think she'll come around?"

"I do. In time." She managed a smile. "We'd love to come up to lunch. Just tell us when."

###

Jinora was no fool, and knew her boyfriend— _fiancé_ , she corrected herself—had been acting strange all day, and once she had finished undressing for bed that night with him in the Waterbender, she rested a hand between his shoulder-blades. "Everything alright, love?" she murmured, and his muscles stilled when he paused in undoing his sword belt.

"I'm fine, Gyatso," he said, a little shortly.

She sighed. "I'm not going to force you to talk," she said, "but you know it's better to talk about how you're feeling."

Kai relaxed slightly, and he turned to her, trying for a smile. "I… Maybe later? Please?"

Jinora pressed a kiss to his shoulder. "Okay… other than that, did you have a good time today in the market?"

He brightened. "Yeah I did. You?"

"Oh, well you know, it was awful," she teased, and it coaxed a smile out of him.

"Yeah, I could see how miserable you were when you made us get five more of those vegetable skewers."

"Shut up," she mumbled, wrinkling her nose at him. "Those were amazing, though. I hope that vendor's back next time. Do you think Daw would know a recipe?"

"He can figure out how to cook anything. We could go back tomorrow to ask though, see if they're still there. The crew and I should be done unloading cargo at around four."

"We can bring some back to Daw too, maybe it'll be easier for him to figure out the recipe from there."

"Good idea. And by tomorrow, we might be able to spend more time in the market anyway."

"Is that you asking me out on a date?"

Kai's smile grew. "Maybe. Is it working?"

She pretended to think, trying not to smile. "Hmm, well it's not very romantic. And barely even a question."

He chuckled softly. "Will you go to the market with me tomorrow, then?"

"I think I can squeeze it into my schedule, after four," she said, wrapping her arms around his neck, and his hands found her waist.

"We could go out to dinner," he suggested. "Go dancing." He guided her into a little sway with him, but she laughed too much to really move. She drew him closer instead, pressing her forehead against his as they kept on swaying slightly.

"Do you think we'll still go on dates after we're married?"

"Of course we will. There's still all sorts of things to do, every time we visit a new port, or to do in the city we'll live in. And even once we have kids, we have the entire crew to act as babysitters, don't we?"

Jinora smiled. "That's a good point."

"And there are still music nights, and the crow nest. If we can't get out, we can spend time alone here." He cupped the side of her face, stroking his thumb over her cheek. "There's never going to be a boring day with you. Quiet, maybe, but we both like quiet sometimes, anyway."

"We do," Jinora agreed with a soft hum.

"But never boring."

Her smile grew slightly. "We'll never be boring."

"Exactly." He kissed her forehead. "Now, let's get some sleep, mm?"

She nestled her fingers in the dip of his collarbone. "Are you sure, baby?"

Kai smiled appreciatively, but nodded. "Ask me again in the morning," he requested. "I might have more energy then."

She grinned, but curled into him anyway. "Alright. Goodnight, my love."

"Goodnight, my love," he repeated, burying his nose in her hair. He pulled away briefly to finish undressing, and then climbed into bed beside her, and everything felt alright, for a moment.

###

They stayed out later than usual at the marketplace for the rest of the week. It had been nice at first, having the majority of his attention over the past few days, but it was concerning when he started avoiding mealtimes with the rest of the crew, opting to eat only with Jinora instead, usually in her family's breakfast nook or someplace quiet on the island. He was avoiding Yung too, she was sure of it.

They were taking a walk in the woods behind her house when the silence of the trees around them finally seemed like a good place to bring it up. "Kai, do you remember a week ago, when I asked you if everything was alright, and you said we'd talk about it later?"

"Hmm?"

"We were just about to go to bed earlier this week, and you seemed upset, but you didn't want to talk about it then."

"Oh, yeah. Well, I'm fine now. It's been a week." He smiled broadly at her, as if to get his point across. "Just spending time with my girl."

"You haven't eaten with the crew in a while."

"I just thought it'd be nice to spend more time with you—"

"Then we could both eat with the crew. You love them, they're your family. Why are you avoiding them?"

His smile faltered. "No I'm not—"

"You're even avoiding Yung. Kai, what's going on?"

Kai didn't look at her, scuffing the ground with his shoe. "What, do you not want to spend one-on-one time with me or something? I thought that had been one of our issues. Not enough time together."

Jinora frowned heavily. "Kai, don't do that—"

"Do what?"

"Make this about something it's not." She sighed. "I like that you're spending more time with me. I do. But I don't want you to use it to avoid your emotions, especially when they have to do with other people you love."

"I'm not avoiding anything, Jinora. You're the one who always makes things a bigger deal than they have to be."

Jinora gritted her teeth, and did her best to ignore the jab. "Kai, you don't have to put up walls when I'm around. You know that."

"I'm not, why do you always have to find a problem in everything—I don't spend as much time with you, I'm doing something wrong. I spend more time with you, I'm doing something wrong—"

"Why can't you just talk to me?!"

"Because you'd say the same things you always do! That it's all in my head, or I just need to try harder, or talk to someone—and sometimes none of that works, okay? I'm already trying really fucking hard and I really don't want to talk to you right now. I said later, so just be more fucking patient for once."

Jinora's bottom lip trembled, tears brimming her eyes. "Fine," she said through gritted teeth.

They stopped walking, and she reached up to hastily wipe her eyes when he turned around and his face softened. "I—I didn't mean to make you cry," he mumbled, stepping towards her.

"I can't—You can't just lash out at people, Kai." She took a shaky breath. "I was worried about you, and you could have just said that you didn't want to talk, that you needed more time but that you would deal with it, instead of accusing me and then yelling at me and—" She wiped at her eyes again. "I know all of this with your blood family hasn't been easy for you. But I also can't deal with you lashing out every time you have trouble expressing yourself and decide to take it out on me."

"I...I'm sorry, I didn't—"

"I'm going up to my room. You—Have a good night." She turned away, walking quickly back to the manor. Kai nearly went after her, but stopped after a few steps.

If she didn't want to be around him right now, then she deserved that.

He sighed, and ran a hand through his hair. Maybe it was time to see Dr. Aput face-to-face, again.

###

Jinora came out of her room mid-afternoon to get tea, and found a note taped to her door. _Gone to see Aput. Be back before dinner. Already told Yung—Kai_. She let out a soft sigh. At least he was talking to someone. _PS. I'm sorry. You were right._

She almost smiled, taking the note off the door and folding it carefully, slipping it into her pocket before going downstairs to the kitchens to put the kettle on.

The light was already on in one of the smaller kitchen areas when she made her way downstairs, and she found Yung sitting at one of the tables, a half-empty mug of tea in front of him. "Yung?"

"Hey kid. You want some tea? There's some left in the kettle."

"Sure." She took a chair. "Thank you."

"Kai seemed upset, when he talked to me earlier," Yung said, going to pour more water into a mug and get out a ginseng tea bag. "Have you picked up on anything lately?"

"Oh, um." Jinora brushed her hair behind her ears. "We got into a fight, earlier."

"Oh? About what?"

"I… It seemed like something was bothering him, and...I thought that he might be avoiding you and the crew," she confessed. Yung paused.

"Guess I wasn't just imagining things, then."

"I'm sorry, Yung. I—I don't have any idea why he would be, though."

"I do." Yung handed her the mug of tea, and then sat across from her. "The morning after he ran off, I went to talk to Misun, and we started arguing, until your father arrived, and Kai found us in the middle of it, and I… I thought I could get him to talk about his family, with me. About what happened to his mother. I don't know why, I just thought—I didn't like the idea that he'd tell them before he'd tell me, but I pushed too hard and… that's why he's been drawing away."

"He lashed out at me too, so hopefully Dr. Aput will be able to help."

"I'm just glad he's trying to get help at all," Yung said quietly.

"Me too." Jinora took a sip of her tea. "I just wish… I wish things didn't have to be so hard for him. I wish… I don't know, I don't want him to change, and I know he's trying, but it's just frustrating that… I know that his progress isn't linear, I just wish things could be easier for him, that's all. For both of us and for you, too."

"I guess that depends on how you frame progress, then," Yung said gently. "Trust me, I'm not perfect either, but… he's finding a problem and acknowledging it, whether it's this or lashing out. He's lashed out at me too over the years, but every time, he gets a bit better, and he's never been better than he is now."

"I know, I just…" she sighed.

"Is it—is it enough of a problem that you would consider… leaving?"

"What? No. No, of course not. No, never, Yung—" She frowned at him. "How could you even think that?"

"I don't think that of you, but...it's nice to have it confirmed. He's had so many people leave him already."

"And he's had so many more stay. Including us."

"I know, but… no matter how much love he grows to have in his life, it'll never change the lack of it he had in his childhood."

"I know," Jinora said softly. "But I could never leave him. I—" Should she tell him about their new engagement? Would Kai be upset if she did? "Kai and I gave each other these promise rings for a reason," she settled on.

Yung blinked. "You mean…?"

"He asked me to marry him," she said quietly. "I said yes. I'm never changing my answer."

A grin broke over Yung's face. "He did?" he cried, delighted.

Jinora couldn't help but smile. "He did," she confirmed. "We...we're going to stay engaged for a few years, before we actually get married, but it will happen, and…" Her eyes softened. "I should see if he's willing to talk, when he comes back. I can't stay angry at him for long. Oh, and um, stay surprised, if he tells you himself. I don't know what his plans were for that."

Yung let out a hearty chuckle. "Of course, though I don't think he'll mind." He let out a happy sigh. "Took that kid long enough."

"It was a bit of a surprise, actually," she admitted. "I mean, we have talked about it before, but I didn't think he would ask me so soon after we… got officially back together."

"I still forget that you were on a break at all, sometimes," he said with another soft laugh.

"We never could," she said, tracing the rim of her teacup. "It was rough. Forcing ourselves to be apart, and then coming back together, and figuring everything out." Her smile faded. "And then our recent fight… it just felt like we were dropping back into old patterns."

"But he's seeing his therapist, and then you'll both work it out when you're ready. I've seen you both mature so much over the past few years, both individually and together. I can't give you any advice about marriage, but… you'll have your own parents for that."

Jinora gave him a small smile. "Are you sure you'd never want to settle down?"

"I think that time has gone past for me, kiddo," Yung said with a similarly small smile. "But it's sweet of you to ask."

"Did you ever have anyone you felt that way about?"

"Once. There was a girl, back in my teens, before my father died. She was...wonderful. She went to the funeral with me, and her family didn't like me much, but I promised I'd find work on land—I'd done a bit of illegal work here and there but most of it was honest. And then she… she got sick, the winter I was twenty, and didn't live to see the spring. I've never had anyone like that since."

"Oh, Yung...I'm so sorry."

"It was a long time ago. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened, if she'd lived… I like to think I'd still have found Kai. That's the most important thing."

"Did you ever tell him about her?"

"There was never much to say. I never felt that way for anyone else, so I just...set it aside as part of my past."

Jinora tried not to think of what it would be like, losing Kai before he was ever really hers. "What was her name?"

"Shila Komaru. After she died, I just wanted to get away from it all, so I offered my services to the first ship I saw and… that was the Waterbender, with Lefty, and Zaheer, and a few of the others." He managed a small, sad smile. "I still miss her, but I think she'd be glad that I found Kai, and the rest of the crew."

"You must be scared of him growing up," she said softly. "Of… being with his blood family?"

"Yeah." His smile faded. "It had just been us, for so long. It was alright when we met your family, because it was still slow, and easy, and...and I knew that he'd still need me."

"Yung, he'll always need you. Even if he doesn't always need you to fight his battles for him. He loves you, so much."

"I know," said Yung. "He's just...been my kid, for so long. It'll take a lot, to adjust to him having a family that's not me or the crew or your family." He let out a weak chuckle. "Guess I'm a little selfish with him, in my own way."

"He's always going to be your boy. There's nothing selfish about wanting it to stay that way, even if his family is growing."

Yung managed a smile. "I guess maybe that's something all parents go through. Part of watching your kid grow up."

"Well, who knows. In another five years so, maybe you'll be a grandpa."

Yung's expression brightened again. "If you both give me a grandkid by then, you'll never have to give me another Festival or birthday present ever again."

Jinora smiled softly. "I hope it happens by then. Maybe sooner, though I suppose my parents will want Kai and me to get married officially first. It depends on how quickly I get a job once my research project is over, as I do want to give teaching a chance for a bit."

"Well you've promised me those grandkids now, so I'll hold you to it in about a decade or so. Fair?"

She laughed. "Fair."

Yung finished his tea and stood up, pausing when he passed her chair to ruffle her hair. "I'll see you later, kiddo, alright?"

"See you. And...see if you can talk to Kai, if you see him before I do?"

"Yeah. I'll try." He gave her shoulder a quick squeeze, before leaving the kitchen.

Jinora drank her tea in silence, before heading back up to her room, and found Kai with his head bent towards the bottom crack of her door. "Kai?"

He straightened up hastily. His eyes were rimmed with red as he got to his feet, and he dusted off his pants before putting his hands in his pockets. "Oh, hey—I just came to say—the note wasn't on the door so I thought maybe it fell and you hadn't seen it—I...just got back."

Jinora walked towards him slowly, and took the folded note out of her pocket. "It's alright. I was just having tea with Yung downstairs in the kitchen. I guess he didn't see you?"

"No, I haven't seen him yet. I...I'm sorry for this morning, I—"

"I've already forgiven you."

"I shouldn't have lashed out and—"

"Kai."

"I'm supposed to say what I did wrong and then promise not to do it again, or at least to try—"

Jinora took his hands, smiling softly. "We...both know what happened. I'm not angry."

"But you were hurt. And you were right. You were just worried about me, and you weren't even pushing me, but I lashed out anyway. I…" He sighed. "I have been avoiding the crew. I didn't mean to use our time to avoid them, I—I love spending time with you, it just…"

"It just seemed easier to hide in it?" she said, and he nodded, leaning into her touch when she cupped his face. She had never seen so much heaviness in his eyes before.

"I told Aput everything," Kai croaked, and Jinora stroked her thumb over his cheek, her throat growing tight.

"Everything?"

He nodded again, this time numbly. "I'm gonna tell Yung this evening. And maybe Tullik and Aika and Misun too. Just to get it all over with."

"Are you sure?"

"I don't want to have to say it more times than I have to."

"I'm proud of you," she said.

"Thank you. For this. For calling me out. I needed that."

"Of course I did, I couldn't say nothing when I thought that something might be wrong. I want you to be happy."

"I know. And...telling them won't be very happy, but it'll be good for me." He rested his forehead against hers. "Thank you so much. Promise to keep calling me out like this when I need it for the rest of our lives?"

Jinora giggled. "Are you making me practice wedding vows now?"

"I just came up with it," he said with a slight smile.

"Hopefully we won't have to do that for each other as often, but yes. And you'll do the same for me?"

"I will. I mean, I think I already have." She thought back to their breakup when his brow wrinkled, and realized he was right.

"You have," she agreed, her voice warm, before she leaned up to kiss him, and Kai melted into her lips.

"I love you," he whispered, once he pulled away, and she smiled.

"I love you too." She squeezed his hands gently. "Do you want me to be there when you tell them?"

"Yeah. It'd help, having someone who knows. And you can help me stay...grounded, I guess, when…"

"It's okay. I'll be there."

"Thanks, Jin."

"Of course. We're in this together, aren't we? We're partners."

Kai laced their fingers together. "Yeah. We are."

###

In the end, he got Yung, Misun, Aika, Tullik, as well as Pema and Tenzin gathered together in the Gyatso's library, and Jinora held his hand as he told them, not letting go even once he was finished and there was just silence.

"Do you remember what he looked like?" Misun was the first to break the silence, a strange, sort of wild look in her eyes.

"My...my father?" Kai asked, and she nodded. "No. I...he might be dead now. I...I don't know."

"He better be," she said, her fists clenching. "Or I'd kill him myself—"

"Misun," Aika said gently, her cheeks damp.

"She's right," Kai said. "You don't get to kill him, if he's alive. I do."

"But—"

"I'm the one that...I'm the one my mother died protecting."

"Kai," Aika said softly, "I'm...so sorry you had to see that. You were too young."

"Everyone's too young to watch someone be killed."

"I can look for records," said Tenzin. "There has to be something out there—"

"Sir, you've already done so much for me," said Kai. "I don't want pity, or even help looking for him, I—I really hope he's just dead, I—" He took a shaky breath. "I'm sorry you had to find out this way," he said, looking up at Aika, Tullik, and Misun. "I know you loved her a lot."

"And she loved you," Tullik said, his eyes watery. "She would have wanted us to find each other."

"I just wish she could have come home," Kai whispered hoarsely.

"I know," Aika said, her voice breaking. "But we found you. She would have counted that as a miracle in itself, as imperfect as it is. And she would be so, so proud of you, Kai." She looked at Jinora with a tearful smile. "And she would have loved that her son had found someone like you."

Jinora managed a shaky smile. "I know that she must have been kind. And that Kai is probably a lot like her, in that way."

"He is," Aika confirmed.

Kai ran his free hand through her hair. "Well, is… does anyone have any other questions?"

"I think you've said enough," Pema said gently, and Kai tried to smile at her. "If you want to rest, you take as much time as you need. Any questions can wait."

"I think I'm just… gonna go to bed, for tonight, then." He slipped his hand out of Jinora's, and kissed her on the forehead after he got to his feet, before looking at the rest of his family. "Have a good night, everyone," he said, and then slipped out of the library too.

Jinora folded her hands in her lap, feeling her parents' eyes on her but not willing to meet them. "Well," she said simply, "do any of you have questions?"

"I still want to find more about that man," said Tenzin. "If he's still alive and out there…"

"Maybe you can find something if you look up records on the town he lived in," said Yung. "It couldn't have been too far from that orphanage. We have Kai's home address. I imagine the house was in his name too, or else Ming would have had an easier time leaving, but if it was just in hers she would have been tied down more to the rent…"

"And I want to find his sister," said Aika. "She has to have survived—maybe she's looking for Kai, too."

"This seems like a conversation you can conduct on your own, then," said Jinora, rising from her chair. "This...took a lot for him, to talk about." She managed a small smile. "Goodnight, everyone. Thank you for listening."

She found Kai in her room when she reached it, sitting on the edge of her bed with his head in his hands, although his form unfolded when her hands found his chest and back, coaxing him into her waiting arms. He curled into her, resting his head on her shoulder, wrapping his arms around her waist as she held him.

"I'm proud of you," she whispered.

"Thank you Jinora," he said hoarsely, nuzzling his face into her neck.

"Wanna get some sleep? It's been a long day."

"I think I just wanna sleep and never wake up," he mumbled. "But I'll wake up," he continued drowsily, just when her throat began to tighten, and he found her hand with his own and tangled their fingers together. "I'll wake up for you."

She buried her face in his hair, tears pricking at her eyes. "Thank you," she murmured. "I love you so much."

"I love you too."

They didn't talk again, and fell asleep like that, half lying on her bed and tangled together. When he woke up in the middle of the night, thrashing lightly, she sat up and sat with him until his cries faded, and they crawled under her covers to hold each other again.

When he woke up in the morning, he was still drowsy, and he had a slight headache, but when he saw her sleeping beside him, he managed a small smile.

There were some things that made waking up a little easier.


	25. The Engagement

**a/n:** here's some updates with the other characters. also, if you guys want more of spiritypowers and i's joint writing, we recently started a new fic for "the dragon prince". it's a really incredible tv show (feels more like atla did to me than lok, even) and the first two seasons are out on netflix! go give it a watch :)

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Five: The Engagement

Teatime had always been Lee's favourite meal. It didn't technically count as a full meal, but it was the only time when he was just with his mother, and didn't have to put up with his father or his brother's subtle criticisms. They were busy at work now, and Lee enjoyed the silence, until his mother set down her teacup with a certain look in her steely eyes.

"I've noticed you've been spending a great deal of time with Miss Shen Shen Sesi, son," she began carefully.

Lee's throat went dry. "Yes…? We've been good friends since primary school."

"You're coming of marrying age, now that your studies have finished, and she's been eligible for a few years now, with wealth, and a reasonable reputation. I can't help but wonder—?"

"Oh. Um." He could feel heat rising up the back of his neck. He'd been sleeping with Shen Shen for over two years now, along with spending time with her just to talk, or go out. But he'd never thought of their relationship beyond friendship, and had never thought to ask. "We're just good friends," he said.

"Really? You've never spent that much time with her. Before, it was mainly Jinora. But since she's...well…" She sighed. "I know you don't like me to talk badly about your pirate friend, so I won't."

"Sailor, technically. And really, we're just friends. I was just friends with Jinora, too. I still am, we just don't spend as much time together because..." His feelings for Kai were a feeble flutter, even when receiving letters from the boy, but they were still infuriatingly there. "Because of the distance, and she's busy with her studies as well," he finished lamely.

"Shame about her," she murmured. "But Miss Sesi would be a good match, and you are fond of her. You don't think you have even a little bit of romantic feelings towards her?"

"I...don't think so."

Mrs. Sono let out a disappointed sigh. "Well, you still have a few years. Your brother didn't even get engaged until he was a year older than you are now, so there's no rush."

Lee managed a tight-lipped smile. "Thank you, Mother." Even if his older brother was still the standard, at least his mother didn't criticize him nearly as often.

"I would like to see you settled down sooner rather than later, but I'll be happy if you do at all. As long as your wife is young enough to have children."

Lee thought to himself that he wouldn't like to marry someone more than three years younger than him, but he nodded. "Of course, Mother."

They drank the rest of their tea in silence, as Lee thought about Shen Shen. They'd only talked about potentially courting a few times, lately only to joke about it. But if he had to marry anyone…

Like his mother had said, there was no rush. And Shen Shen deserved to be with someone that really loved her, anyway.

He had his own apartment in the city, near the political newspaper he was working at as an editor, when Shen Shen dropped by one evening. "It's open," he called from his desk when there was a knock at the door, and she let herself in, slipping her high-heeled shoes off and sitting down on his loveseat. He looked up, surprised but not unhappy to see her. "What are you doing here, Shen?"

"I can't drop in on a friend?" she said, but there was a glassy look in her eyes.

Lee got up from his desk and walked over to her. "Shen—"

"I told my mother I like girls as well as boys, and she was horrified. I mean, it could have gone far worse—she could have told my father or one of my brothers but—I just don't know how long she'll keep her mouth shut."

Lee kneeled in front of her. "Shen," he said softly.

"I just didn't want to stay there," she said, her face hardening. "I—don't, want to stay there. I didn't mean to say it. I just—I'll take my money out in the morning, get whatever inheritance I can, and open up a new account for myself. I can look for an apartment for myself—"

"You could stay here." The offer tumbled out of his mouth without thinking, but he didn't regret it, as he brushed a strand of her silky hair out of her face. "With me."

Her mouth twitched, and Lee wasn't sure if she wanted to smile or frown. "I was going to ask, if I could stay for the night—"

"Not just for the night."

Her eyes softened as she smiled. "Really Sono, I can take care of myself perfectly fine."

"I know. Stay with me anyway."

She propped her cheek upon her palm, her elbow on the armrest, leaning towards him. "Are you really that attached, Lee?"

"What if I am?" he challenged. "What are you gonna do about it, Sesi?"

"I'm sure I'll figure something out," she said, and leaned down slightly to kiss him, taking his face in her hands.

Lee smiled against her lips, moving onto his feet, and bending down to keep kissing her, while her hands grasped at his shirt. "Does this mean you're staying?" he murmured.

"Maybe," she said. "I might need a little convincing."

"Which would entail—?"

"I thought you were smart, Sono."

"A warm bath, a glass of wine, and some comfy clothes?" he suggested, and she blinked. It wasn't what she had been expecting, but it wasn't an unpleasant notion.

"Well, yes, I suppose." She smiled a little. "Thanks, Sono."

He took her hands, helping her up onto her feet. "Anytime, Sesi."

It was only when the water was drawn and he'd delivered her a glass of wine that her other hand snagged his wrist. "Stay?" she requested quietly, tendrils of her hair floating in the tub water.

Lee kneeled down next to the tub. "'Course, Shen." He sat down at a stool near her, and he didn't let go of her hand as they both sat in silence. He watched her as she took slow sips from her glass, and wondered how he had never noticed how weary her eyes were, in spite of the smoothness of her under-eyes. "It's okay to be sad," he said softly.

She shot him a sharp look. "I'm not _sad_ —I don't have to give in to petty emotions the way other people do."

He ran his thumb over her fingers. "You're always so strong," he murmured. "Allowing yourself to feel doesn't change that."

She lowered her gaze back to the glass in her hand. "You don't understand."

"Oh, I don't?"

"No, you don't," she snapped. "You don't know what it's like to grow up in a family where you're the wild child, the disappointment—"

" _I_ don't know what it's like to be the disappointment?" Lee said, raising his eyebrows. "To know that whatever I do it will never measure up to my brother, the same way you'll never measure up to yours?"

"At least you have something to aim for. My parents never wanted to have another child after they had my brothers, much less a daughter."

"I'm a _spare_. You think my mother would react any better than yours did if I told her I also liked boys? And you—you have never had to watch two people you've fallen in love with both choose each other over you. Don't pretend you know what that feels like."

Shen Shen jerked her hand out of his. "If you want me to go," she said coldly, "then just—"

"Oh for the love of God, Shen," he said, exasperated, "I don't want you to go. I just want you to not keep everything bottled up all the time."

Shen Shen softened, but still looked at the way her manicured fingers were sharp against the rim of the tub. "And you're entitled to my feelings because?"

"Because I'm your friend."

"Oh, right, like you wouldn't go running off to Kai or Jinora if they gave you the chance—"

"No, I wouldn't, because I don't love them," he said fiercely, and realized it was true. He loved them, still, but only as friends. He was no longer in love with either of them, but was too impassioned to feel the relief; that would come later. His heart was still pounding madly in his chest, but for an entirely different, unexpected reason. "I'm not going to force you to talk about...any of this," he said quietly. "But...you know I really do care about you, right?"

Shen Shen sighed. "I know," she relented. "Look, I never talk to the others about...any of this. It's part of why I never made coming out a big deal with any of you. But I've also never been rejected, for anything, and I… I don't know how, but somehow you've become my best friend, okay? And it's weird, and kind of annoying, but also kind of nice, and I… don't quite know to deal with that."

He smiled softly. "You've become my best friend, too."

"The only other best friend I've had was Pfannee," said Shen Shen. "And I never really talked to her about...about how I felt, I guess. I just wanted to take care of her."

"Do you still have feelings for her?"

"I don't know. I don't think so." She glanced up at him. "And you don't have feelings for Kai anymore?"

"Not really, no."

"Looks like we're both in a better place, then," she said, smiling slightly. "And I guess I will be, once I'm out of my parents' place."

"You always take such good care of me," Lee said softly. "Coming to visit me at school and making sure I don't work myself to death. Let me try and return the favour?"

"You can try," she relented, and his smile grew, when she tucked her hair behind her ears. "Are you sure you want me to stay?"

"I'm sure."

Shen Shen downed her glass of wine, and then stood up in the tub, stepping out and reaching for her towel. "Let's go to bed then."

He stood up, watching her as she wrapped the towel around her body. "To sleep, or to…?"

She threw him a smile over her shoulder. "What do you think, honey?"

Lee let out a slight chuckle, following her out of the bathroom. "Lead the way, then."

In the morning, Shen Shen stayed.

###

Leaving home again was easier this time. Maybe Jinora was used to it after all her years at boarding school and at university, but she liked to think it was also because she was just going to another home. She'd moved her stuff back into Kai's room, the Waterbender sailing out to sea, and within a week she found herself settled back into a new routine, and glad that their mornings could last longer out at sea, the way they were now. She'd finished her hypothesis for her essay and map of the places she needed to go to prove it, as well as an outline for her report and a list of books she'd already read about the places they were visiting, so for the next four days, there was little to do until they docked at the first port on her list.

Which meant she could spend as much time with her fiancé as possible.

Jinora wrapped her arms around his waist in bed, when the soft morning light filtered through their window, and pressed kisses to his chest until it roused him. "Hey," she greeted, her voice warm and mellow, and Kai laughed a little as he ran his fingers lightly through her hair.

"Hey yourself," he echoed. He pressed a sleepy kiss to her mouth, and she giggled softly, wrapping her arms more tightly around his torso.

"Mm, you know, I had a dream about you last night," she said with a glint in her eyes.

"You did?" he asked, amused.

"Mmhmm." She trailed her mouth to his jaw. "Would you like to guess what it was about?"

He ran his hand down her bare waist. "I think I know, but tell me anyway. In lucid detail." He didn't give her too much of a chance to talk, however, as he pressed his body against hers. She was trembling when they were finished, pressing fumbling kisses to his jawline, and his hands let go of her hips, holding onto his bed sheets instead. "You were so good," he croaked out.

"So were you," she breathed. "Can we stay in bed all day today?"

He smiled softly. "I wasn't planning to, but…" He rolled onto his side, then gathered her into his arms. "We won't always get mornings like this. It's nice, to take them when we can."

She trailed her finger over his nose. "Especially since I'll be starting my research project soon."

His smile grew. "Wish every morning could be like this," he murmured.

She dropped her hand and kissed his cheek. "Me too. But we have many more ahead of us, and not having them all the time makes them more precious when they do happen."

Kai tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "Nice to have a smart fianceé to help me keep things in perspective," he grinned, and Jinora beamed.

"I like it when you call me that."

"My fianceé?" he asked, and Jinora nodded. "I like saying it. Imagine, I'll get to annoy you for the rest of our lives."

Jinora laughed softly, wrinkling her nose at him. "You're such an idiot."

"Your idiot. For the rest of our lives," he repeated, and Jinora laughed again.

"You better be." She curled into his side, allowing her eyes to close as he stroked her hair. "Kai?"

"Hmm?"

"I know we don't have to plan it any time soon, but...would you like to have the wedding on the ship?"

His smile softened. "I'd really like that," he admitted, "but we could always get married somewhere… fancier, if your family would prefer that."

She shook her head. "I don't need fancy. Just you."

"Don't you want a nice ceremony? A nice dress?"

"I can have all of that on the ship." She opened her eyes, gazing up at him tenderly. "It'd be nice, to have it here. Even if it'd be a smaller ceremony, I have no doubt that it would still be beautiful. And...it fits us, you know? We can get married in your first home, and our first home together."

"You're really set on us living here, aren't you?"

"Mmhmm. I know you want me to wait it out and see how I like it here, but I already know that I like it here. And...it really is a nice place to raise a family. Unconventional, but nice."

Kai studied her for a moment. "When would you like to have kids?" he said slowly.

She blinked in surprise. "Well, I suppose I'd prefer to have them after we've been married for at least a few years," she said. "At the same time, if our...timing happened to be a little off, and we had a child sooner, I wouldn't mind. It...it might be harder, with all the things we still want to do, but…"

"If you don't want it," he said, "and want an abortion instead, I understand."

"Kai…"

"You're the one that would carry it. You get to decide if and when we have children. It's only fair. I mean, yeah, I'd like a family with you. But only when we're both ready, on both of our terms."

She smiled softly. "A few years into our marriage, then," she said. "But I'm still open to plans changing."

"Fair enough," Kai smiled. "I guess we didn't plan on each other all those years ago, after all."

"And… how would you feel about adopting?"

His smile grew. "I think that would be amazing," he said. "Any way we can have a family together, when we're both ready, would be amazing."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

She hummed softly, and then rested her chin on his chest and said, "Would you like to be the best fiancé ever and go get us some breakfast?"

Kai chuckled softly, pressing a kiss to her forehead before slowly getting up. "Alright, but next time we need food, it's your turn."

"Thank you," she called from his warm bed, the cold air stinging his buttcheeks before he drew up some pants. She watched him go, pulling the blankets further up over her.

She never knew she could love the future and the present as much as she did in that moment.

##

Jinora's nights were quickly transformed by her research project, having hauled an old typewriter onboard with her which was kept in Kai's study to type up her official report, but for now she used his desk in his room with some ink, quills and paper, scratching long into the night, and it was one such night, around one in the morning, when Kai came up behind her chair.

"Come to bed love," he coaxed gently, and she finished off her sentence before looking at him.

"I still have so many thoughts," she said. Tong Gong, the second port on her list, was a hub of history and trade, as they had been out for nearly all day. "If I'm keeping you up I can move to the study."

Kai shook his head, pressing a kiss to the side of her head. "I woke up a little while ago… but it's late, love. You need sleep. Tomorrow will be another big day."

"Which is why I need to get this written tonight," she said, stifling a yawn, her shoulders still bent over, and he wordlessly brought his thumbs between her shoulder-blades, finding the knots and gently kneading them.

"They'll still be waiting for you in the morning," he promised. "Please love? For me?"

Jinora sighed, looking up at him with sleepy eyes. "Fine."

Kai let her set her quill down and bottle her ink, leaving her paper out to dry, before he scooped her up in his arms and laid her down in bed, helping her out of her clothes from the day—her blouse, bra, skirt, and panties—and tossing them in the hamper before joining her under their sheets. He could tell by the even tone of her breathing she was already in the process of falling asleep.

"Goodnight love," he murmured into her hair, and she mumbled something inaudible in reply, but it sounded like I love you. He smiled softly, wrapping an arm around her waist holding her closer. "Love you too, Jin."

###

Shen Shen was more nervous than she would ever meet out-loud to see Kai and Jinora again, as she and Lee waited by the docks. The two lived in one of the ports closely below Tong Gong, but with its own unique history during the 100 years war. But to the point, Shen Shen had made Lee promise not to tell their friends about her new living situation, nor her mother, and while she lived in the area and it made sense for her and Lee to be together to greet them, she knew she'd have to tell them the truth. They were her friends, after all.

It would make what she had with Lee a little more real, though. They'd have to explain that they'd started sleeping together. And if they asked what their relationship was, she wouldn't know what to tell them. She didn't even know what to tell herself.

"Shen? You okay?" Lee's voice was gentle and sent an unwelcome wave of warmth through her.

"Fine," she said shortly.

"You seem quiet."

"I can't be quiet?"

"Usually I can't get you to shut up," he said, nudging her lightly, trying to coax a smile out of her, but it didn't work. "What is it?"

She weighed her options, and settled on, "What are we going to tell them? About us?"

"Well...it's up to you, if you want to tell them that we're living together now."

"I have a bunch of things at your place, and my presence in your apartment isn't exactly discreet." It was true; ever since she'd moved in a month ago, Lee's apartment had become a little more crowded with dresses, cosmetics, and hair products. Shen Shen kept it all fairly organized, and even if she hadn't, Lee wasn't sure he would have had the heart to begrudge her the things that brought her joy.

"We'll figure it out. They're our friends, they'll understand."

"I just—you know I never slept with any of my friends before you, Jinora might wonder if… Or maybe she'll think I'm stringing you along, or something—"

"You know her. She's not going to judge us. And we're both on the same page about us, anyway."

"Are we?"

"What?"

"I just think that…" She played with her nails, looking away from him. "Are either of us ever really going to find something better?"

His brow knit together. "You want us… to settle for each other?"

"No, I just—look, Sono, do you remember when you asked if I wanted you to court me, and I said no because it was stupid? I don't—maybe the idea isn't so stupid, anymore."

"Do...do you want me to?"

"I…" She crossed her arms over her chest. "I guess."

"I'm...going to need a little more than an 'I guess', Shen."

She frowned at him. "What, you want me to beg?"

"No, I just want to know that you want this. I mean...I know I'm not your first choice, but I don't want you to feel like I'm your only option. We can live together no matter what."

Her frown faded. "Yes," she said quietly. "I'd like you to court me. Because you _are_ my first choice, dummy."

"I am?"

"Don't make me repeat myself, Sono," she said, hating the blush in her cheeks, but not disliking the warmth that came when he looked at her with a small smile and dumb, tender eyes. She stuck out her hand. "Are you going to hold my hand or not?"

His smile grew as he took it, lacing their fingers together. "I hope you know I'm not letting go," he said, and she snorted, rolling her eyes, but she didn't let go or pull away, either. Even when they saw the ship docking in the distance, they went forward to greet them, still hand-in-hand.

She didn't completely hate the feeling.

###

"So," Kai said, when he and Jinora were walking back to the ship, the streets lit low after a full day spent with their friends, "Lee and Shen Shen, huh?"

"I know," she said, still stunned. "I never even considered it, but seeing them together...it makes a lot of sense, in a weird way."

"I can't believe they kept it quiet for so long. I mean, Lee never mentioned anything to you?" Kai was a little put out Lee had never said anything to him either, mostly because he had a feeling he and Lee had talked about girls more than Lee and Jinora had.

"Nothing," Jinora said. "How long do you think they've been together?"

"Probably not long. Shen Shen of all people seemed kind of shy about it."

Jinora smiled slightly. "I think it's sweet," she said. "She's usually never like that about any of her relationships."

"Well I hope they're happy," Kai said, swinging their joined hands between them.

"Me too," said Jinora. "I mean, I don't think they can be as happy as we are, but no one can, now can they?"

Kai grinned at her, tugging her closer. "I like hearing you be cocky. What d'you say we go dancing tonight, babe?"

She smiled appreciatively. "I would like to," she said, "but I do need to finish my report for today."

"Sure I can't convince you?"

"I'm sure," she said, giving his chest a little pat, "but thank you for the offer, love. Maybe another night."

"Alright." He pressed a kiss to her cheek, before letting go. "Wake me up when you come to bed, so I can make sure you come to bed?"

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. I'll go right back to sleep, anyway."

Jinora smiled softly. "Okay, then. I will."

"And let me know when you're free, so I can finally take my future wife on a proper date?"

"Absolutely. And you've taken me on plenty of proper dates."

Kai wrapped an arm around her waist. "Not enough," he purred, as they reached the docks and started walking towards the Waterbender.

Jinora curled slightly into him, smiling as walked aboard the ship and below decks. "Easy, Captain. We can have time for that later."

"Like when you come to bed?"

She laughed, enjoying the idea. "Won't that make you feel more awake?"

His hand stroked her hip, edging under her blouse. "Not if you tire me out again."

"Kai," she said, reluctantly pulling away. "I really have to get this report done. But we'll have this entire weekend to ourselves."

His brow furrowed. "I thought you wanted to type up some of your notes this weekend?"

"Oh, right. Well, we'll have our weekend nights and mornings to ourselves."

He smiled, and leaned forwards and kissed her on the forehead. "Just don't work too hard, babe."

"I'll try not to," she promised, smiling as he walked away, most likely to shower and then get ready for bed, maybe do some paperwork of his own. She went to his study instead, and started to work.

It was only in the morning, when Kai woke up and realized she never had woken him up, her body curled towards his but still with a good amount of distance between them, sleeping deeply. Even in her sleep, she looked tired, and he frowned, wondering when she had finally dragged herself to bed. She hadn't bothered to pull on night clothes the way she did most nights, with the weather getting colder, which meant she must have been exhausted, only able to do the bare minimum. He almost kissed her forehead, but decided against it in the end, not wanting to wake her.

He'd talk with her about this later.

Kai hauled himself out of bed, moving slowly so she wouldn't stir, and pulled on clothes. He talked about some financials with Otaku, and finishing planning their route, before going to the kitchen where Daw and anyone else on breakfast duty was getting ready, and assembled a tray to take back to the captain's quarters.

He ate at his desk, looking over some papers of his own—mostly inventory—until he heard her stir mid-morning, and turned around. She was sitting up, her hair messy and sticking up at different ends, as she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. "What time is it?" she asked, her voice still thick.

"Around 10? I have some breakfast for you—"

"It's that late already?"

"Guess so," he said, moving to sit beside her and brushing her hair behind her ears. "What time did you go to bed last night love?"

Jinora glanced at the tray on the bedside table. "Is that lychee juice?"

Kai sighed through his nose when she reached for the glass. "Jinora."

"I'm fine, Kai. You don't need to worry."

"I don't want you to get into bad habits."

"I'm not a child; I don't need a bedtime."

"And I never said either of those things," he said, doing his best to keep his voice even. "All I said was that I want you to stick to a good sleeping schedule, that's all.

"And let my work fall by the wayside?"

Kai resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "How much more do you need to get done? Not by the end of this entire project, just by this Friday."

"Well...I still have to finish my first draft report, and then I need to make sure I have all my notes organized from the places we went to this week. And then I want to get started on my second draft, so I have something more edited when I have to send the first report in by the end of the month, and create a study guide for the next port we dock at."

"Just focus on the first draft and the notes for the next few days, then. The second draft can wait for a few more days, and you don't even have to get started on the study guide right away. We won't be going to our next port for another week."

"But I want to be ready—"

"You will be. Just...don't overwork yourself, please?"

She crossed her arms over her chest. "This is my job, Kai, I can't just slack off because you feel ignored."

Kai frowned. "That's not—I'm just trying to help you, Jinora—"

"Then stop nagging me about things like sleep. I'm an adult and I can take care of myself."

Kai ran a hand through his hair, and stood up. "Fine," he said, walking towards the door. "Do whatever you want." He shut the door firmly behind him, and Jinora's jaw clenched, as she pushed herself out of bed and pulled on clothes.

Couldn't he trust her to take care of herself? She was fine, for crying out loud. Tired, but productive, and that was what mattered. Wasn't he supposed to be proud of her for working so hard for something she wanted? She'd been planning this project for years, she couldn't let up just because he decided he wanted more of her attention for once. Or just wanted her to work less, this was just an intense time in her life, and then it would pass and she could relax again.

Jinora wrestled with the chain of her promise necklace, and the lace shoulder straps of her blouse, and then sighed and went slower, turning the ring over in her palm. He just wanted to help. He always did. He had just been concerned about her getting enough rest. Maybe she had been a little unreasonable. And defensive, and…

She took a deep breath. As soon as she was able to, she would talk to him.

###

She was still there when he opened the door to his room after lunch to get some papers (she hadn't come out to eat after such a late breakfast). He was going to leave when she grabbed his arm, her work still splayed out on his desk.

"Can we talk?"

He slowly turned back to her, his brow pinched together. "Okay." She let go of him, and sat back down at the table.

"I'm sorry," she said softly. "You were right. I'm just stressed, and tired, but I shouldn't have snapped at you. I'm going to try to start going to bed earlier."

Kai gave her a tiny smile. "Thank you, Jin."

"Do you forgive me?"

His smile widened, if only a little. "Of course I forgive you. I couldn't stay mad at you even if I tried." He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I'm just glad you'll be more rested after this. And if there's anything I can do to help lessen your workload or make things easier, please let me know?"

"I will. And if I get...like this, again, let me know."

"I will. Call each other out, remember? A little nudge in the right direction." His hands found her upper arms.

She let out a pleased hum. "Take me dancing tonight?"

Kai gave her a soft smile. "I would love to, but unfortunately I have paperwork of my own to get through. What about Friday?"

She leaned up and let her nose bump his. "It's a date."

###

They kept their date, setting aside their work once Friday evening came. Jinora wore a light yellow dress with a hem that hit just above her knees, swishing around pleasantly when she turned. She walked arm-in-arm with Kai as they walked through the town, towards the nicest pub they could find while he wore his best button-up shirt with his sleeves rolled up too.

"Anywhere you have in mind?" she asked.

"It's a place Tullik recommended to me, actually," Kai said, rubbing the back of his neck bashfully. He'd kept in correspondence with his grandparents, although Misun remained silent, and the former sailor had even shed some light on older establishments Kai had never frequented. "He used to go with his sailing buddies, but I hear the food's still really good even if the joint's become classier since then."

Jinora couldn't help but smile. "It's kind of sweet that your grandfather's recommending date places."

"I didn't want to ask Lefty and he was kind of my only other option," Kai said with a grin. Jinora laughed, leaning into him as they approached the pub.

"I'm glad you got me out tonight."

"I'm very glad to take you out tonight," he said, as they entered the pub and were seated at a booth, rather spacious even if they sat with their thighs pressed together. They both got a beer, and Jinora got a milkshake too, with a veggie burger and some fries, and a double cheeseburger for Kai.

It was nice to eat, just the two of them, and just talk. Jinora got him up to speed on all her work for her research project, hoping for his knowledge of the places she was looking at, and Kai told her about some business deals he was considering, hoping for her opinion. She'd always been good at economics, after all. Their conversation drifted to her family, and then the resolve that the next time they docked in Republic City he'd talk to her parents about their engagement.

"If we're getting married," Jinora considered with a smile, leaning in towards him with her cheek on her palm, her elbow on the table, "does that mean we also get a honeymoon?"

Kai met her eyes and grinned. "I'm sure the crew could manage without me for a week or two. Where would you want to go?"

Jinora wiggled her feet out of her heels, and inched her toes over his ankle. "We could go someplace nice, and hot. The Fire Nation?"

"I've always wondered what Ember Island is like," he confessed, his grin turning sly as he dropped a hand onto her thigh, the fabric of her dress yellow and floaty beneath his palm. Her toes slipped beneath the hem of his pants.

"I think you'll like it. There's a beach, and the waves. Nice beach houses too, with big beds. And it gets so hot." She reached over and played with the collar of his shirt, as he slowly rumpled her dress.

"We might have to go down to the beach sometimes," he purred. "To cool down."

"Mm, and what will we do with all of other time?"

"Try out those nice big beds?" he suggested, leaning in to nip at her earlobe, although it looked like he might have just been whispering in her ear to an onlooker. His hand slid up her thigh. "I would love to break one in with you."

"We don't even have to wait till our honeymoon for that." She bit down on her lip as he ran his thumb along her inner thigh, over her bare skin. "Haven't you been considering getting a new mattress?"

"I have," he acknowledged, "but first, I have to take you dancing, don't I? We can go to a nice club, where no one will notice two more bodies pressed together."

"Then go and pay the cheque," she said, spreading her legs a little bit. He kissed her briefly, squeezing her thigh before slowly letting go.

"Be right back, baby," he promised, and went to go pay the bill. They walked out onto the street, his arm around her waist and holding her close, as they went to the club district and found one with pounding music and lots of people. She didn't even mind when they were crowded immediately upon entering, as the crowds only pushed her closer to Kai.

They found a spot by the wall, Jinora pinned between him and the wall, and she folded her arms against his chest. "You picked a good place," she said, resting her hands on either side of his neck.

Kai smirked, his hands on her waist. "I have good taste. Would you like to dance?"

"Only if you can hold me like this." She linked her fingers over the nape of his neck.

His hand slid to her thigh. "I'll find a way to manage," he said, and led their way onto the dance floor. The song wasn't slow but most of the couples seemed to be like them (admittedly, probably hookups or something of the like), content to take their time and move far more slowly than the beat.

Jinora rested her head on his chest and shoulder as they danced together, his hand holding her hips to his, his other hand wandering to her ass and gripping it firmly, their bodies pressed together. The songs bled into one another, all fast music and pumped up chords. Her lips found the dip of his collarbone, where the first few buttons of his shirt was undone. She pressed a kiss to it, before trailing wet kisses up the curve of his throat, over his Adam's apple. She grasped at the back of his neck with one hand, her other sliding slowly over his chest and stomach, before untucking his shirt from his pants.

Kai held her more tightly, enjoying the feel of her like this. Of her seducing him. "You like what you see?" he said, voice even and steady. He wouldn't show how she was affecting him, until he was ready to have her. For now, he would enjoy the pursuit.

Her fingers slid up under his shirt, and skimmed his lower stomach, feeling hard muscle. "Mmhm. You're so strong. I love it, when I can feel these moving against me, when you fuck me nice and hard."

He squeezed her ass, pressing their hips together. "Tell me baby, are you wet for me right now?"

"Soaked." She pressed herself harder against him. "And I can feel how hard you are."

"I'll make sure you do," he growled, and moved quickly, pushing her up against the nearest wall. He set her thighs around his hips, her dress hiking up over the inner curve of her thighs, as he impatiently pushed the fabric mostly away, and began grinding into her. She let out a breathless moan, and he kissed her hard, muffling any more sounds that rose from her lips.

Jinora clutched at the back of his shirt, parting her lips when she felt his tongue against them, while her hips rolled into his. She had already been ridiculously wet, but now she knew her panties were soaked through completely, her body winding itself tighter and begging for release, as she felt Kai's hardness through his pants press against her.

She drew away from his fierce mouth with a reluctant groan. "Baby I can't wait," she whimpered. He pressed his mouth to her ear with a grin.

"Guess we're heading back early?"

"Please."

###

They stopped at the next port the following week, with Jinora's next draft done and plans to meet with Pfannee and Miki. The former and her son lived in a small cottage near the water, and Miki was doing a teaching job in town too, and had moved in temporarily with the small family to make the rent cheaper for everyone. Lee Wen was a rosy cheeked little boy, nearly five years old, with a black cowlick hanging over his forehead, quieter than his mother, and delighted at the small boat Kai gifted him with, a carving project completed in his spare time. Though he spoke little, he smiled often, and he was clearly happy with his mother, which was all, Pfannee said, she could hope for.

Miki didn't smile as often as the Wens did, but she was still pleased with her work and pleased to see her best friend. She'd visited Jinora the most often when the Gyatso girl had been studying in Ba Sing Se (other than Kai, of course). She was the least changed, Kai found; she was still quiet, still hard working, and still intimidating. And still the least flashy of Jinora's friends, with a style the most like hers, which was why Kai hoped she could help him pick out the perfect proper engagement ring for her.

Or at least, give him some ideas of where to start. Jinora didn't wear much jewelry and in all the years he'd known her, he'd never seen her wear a ring before; it was always earrings or necklaces, and occasionally bracelets. He knew it was a tradition in Water Tribe culture to carve a betrothal necklace, but she already had her grandmother's and was more in touch with her Air Nomad roots, so while he knew she'd appreciate the gesture, it also didn't seem like the best choice.

All he needed was a chance to ask Miki, of course, and the opportunity seemed to rise after dinner, when Miki went to put away the dried dishes (after washing them) and Kai managed to tear himself away from the soft sight of Jinora playing on the rug with Lee Wen and his new toy ship.

"Hey, Miki?" he asked, slipping his hands into his pockets. Miki didn't look at him, and didn't even slow in putting away dishes. She still was the least friendly of Jinora's friends, too, so it didn't discourage him too much.

"Yeah?"

"Could you help me with something?"

"Depends."

"You know Jinora's style pretty well, right?"

Miki paused. "I suppose so."

Kai took a deep breath. "I've asked her to marry me, and I want your help in picking out an engagement ring." When she didn't say anything, nor turn around, he continued hastily. "I know we just saw Shen Shen, but usually what she picks out for Jinora is still too flashy, and I figured you two were the most similar—and you were my first choice to ask, anyway."

Miki turned towards him, and his heart sank when she saw the unimpressed frown etched onto her features. "I'm not helping you pick out an engagement ring."

"...Can I ask why?"

"You've both broken up, what, twice, maybe even three times now? You go through a cycle of good times and then terrible times, I've lost track of how many times you've broken her heart, and I've never thought you were all that well suited to each other to begin with."

"Those times were us figuring out how to be in each other's worlds, we're different now—"

"And I've lost track of how many times you've both said that. Listen, if you two want to keep doing this, that's your choice. But I'm washing my hands of it."

Kai frowned. "Fine. Sorry I asked."

"And I won't pretend to approve, if she brings it up around me."

He stuck his hands in his pockets. "I wouldn't expect you to. I do wonder, though, how quickly you gave up on me. Because I thought when we were kids you decided to give me a chance, and then you decided that me wanting to die wasn't a good enough of a reason to give me another one? Or for the seven months I watched Lee and Jinora be together and kept my mouth shut because I knew I had no right to say anything? Because I have never taken her for granted, even if you act like I do. I love her. I want to marry her. And she's already said yes, and I thought you'd want to be a part of that, as her friend. But fine, whatever. You can say whatever you want to her, but there has never been a day, when we thought we had a choice, that we haven't ultimately chosen each other. That's never changing. So you don't have to like me, or approve of us, or anything, but be prepared to put up with me for the rest of your life. Because I am never leaving her. _Ever_." Kai swallowed, turning towards the doorway. "Goodnight, Miki."

He smoothed his face over, willing away the frown and quiet, angry disappointment that was cold rather than hot, although Jinora took his hand when she saw him, and ran her thumb over his knuckles, that way she always did when she was concerned about him.

"Everything alright?" she murmured, leaning in and pressing a kiss to his shoulder.

He kept his eyes on the kitchen doorway, as Miki reentered the living room, drying her hands off on a towel, but Kai quickly looked at Jinora and gave her a half-smile. "I'm fine love," he said, convincingly enough that she looked relieved. "Just a little tired."

"We probably should go home soon," Jinora said, even if she cast her gaze wistfully to Pfannee on the floor with Lee Wen. And she hadn't gotten much of a chance to chat with Miki one on one either.

"You could stay the night?" Kai suggested. Just because Miki didn't approve of their engagement didn't mean she and Jinora couldn't spend one-on-one time together. Maybe if he was lucky, that disagreement would stay between him and Miki only, too. "If that's alright with the girls. The crew and I will be in the marketplace all day. You can come find us whenever you want to come back sometime tomorrow. Do a bit of shopping."

Jinora beamed, turning towards her friends. "If you two have room…?" Miki had taken the only spare bedroom after all.

Pfannee balanced Lee Wen on her hip, as she got to her feet. "If Miki doesn't mind sharing a bed."

"You can borrow some of my clothes too," Miki said, smiling hesitantly.

Jinora turned back to Kai, resting her hands on his chest. "You sure you and the crew will be alright without me?"

"Oh, y'know, Skoochy will be devastated, but we'll find a way to manage." He pecked her on the lips, and then went to pull on his boots and coat. "Have fun, Gyatso."

Jinora grinned at him. "Alright. Good night, Kai. Love you."

"Love you too, Jin." He gave her another soft smile and quick kiss, his eyes intentionally avoiding Miki's as he finally left.

"And you, little mister," Pfannee cooed to her son, "it is time for you to go to bed. It is way past your bedtime."

Lee Wen waved his new boat in his chubby fist. "Can I take this with me?"

"Mmhm. You really like Uncle Kai don't you?"

"He's nice. And lives in a real boat. That's cool."

Pfannee smiled at the girls as she started carrying him over to the bathroom. "Well you know, he knew you even when you were just in my tummy."

"He did?" Lee Wen's expression brightened.

"Mmhm. And he was one of the people that made sure we were safe and happy, when not a lot of people were nice to us." Lee Wen let out a pleased little yawn. "Now come on, it's time for you to brush your teeth."

Jinora smiled as they finished climbing the stairs, absentmindedly playing with her promise ring. "Kai was really good with him, wasn't he?" she said softly.

"I guess," Miki said.

"He'll be a good father, one day," she said with a wistful sigh, clearly thinking of how her brother had been around Lee Wen's age when they'd first met Kai. "I can't believe Rohan is already turning thirteen… anyway, what's new with you? How's your teaching?"

"It's alright," Miki said. "The kids here are...a lot nicer than the ones we grew up with," she said with a slight laugh. "Or so it would seem. It's a nice town, if a bit on the poorer side. But there's quite a few kids who really want to get out of here, and work really hard, so I like to think I'm making a difference for them."

Jinora's smile grew. "I know you are. I hope I can do that too, when I've found my place."

"Though you'll be working with universities, or at the very least older kids starting to think about university, and making much more than an elementary teacher's salary," said Miki with a slight smile. Jinora rolled her eyes. "Have you thought about where you want to teach? I know your letters said that your research project is going amazingly well."

Jinora rubbed her arm, smiling a tad bashfully. "I'm looking at RC, and in ZaFou, a few others near sea ports… Kai's encouraging me to consider applying for a position at Ba Sing Se."

Miki blinked. "He is?"

"Yeah. It'd mean long distance again, most likely, but… I don't know. I haven't been back since the rioting. I'm a little… It's safer, now, but some of my memories of the place are...tainted, I guess. But it would be a good opportunity."

"It'd be an amazing opportunity. You'd be working at the most distinguished, oldest university in the world, and you'd be a shoe-in for a position, at least as adjunct faculty for the first few years, since you were one of their best history students. You're at least considering it, right?"

"Well, sure. But RC and ZaoFu University are good colleges, too, and closer to home."

"Closer to Kai?"

Jinora nodded a tad meekly, and then smiled. "I think we could do the long distance this time, though. Now that I've gotten better. I let my jealousy get way out of control and… he was so patient, and now…" She gave a slight laugh, as if she still couldn't quite believe her own happiness. "He's asked me to marry him."

Miki's smile faltered. "After three breakups."

Jinora frowned at her. "Two. Over almost ten years. The first was because we both weren't ready, and frankly, barely had a relationship to break up in the first place, and the second was because I was too stuck in my own head… aren't you happy for me?"

"I just… don't think this is the best choice for you."

Jinora paused. "He told you in the kitchen, didn't he? I knew he looked upset when he came out. You've never liked him, and I don't understand. Why?"

Miki looked her in the eye. "All he does is hurt you and make your life harder. When has knowing him ever made your life easier?"

"Easier?" Jinora stared at her in disbelief. "He has never…" Her jaw clenched. "He has never hurt me more than I've hurt him; arguably, I've hurt him more. And yes, maybe he doesn't make my life easier, but he does make it better. He makes me laugh. He helped me learn how to love myself, and how to have a life I love. And now I want to share it with him." Jinora crossed her arms over her chest. "Maybe I can go catch him on the street and go home—"

"Jinora, it's dark out—"

"It's dark out and I have a dagger on me. I can handle myself." She grabbed her coat, tugging it on as she walked out the door.

"Jinora!" Miki scrambled after her, the buttons undone on her coat with a quick call to Pfannee as to where they were going. She jogged a few paces to catch up with her. "Jinora, don't be stupid. Come on, come back inside. Let's talk about something else. I've been your friend for twelve years, you're really going to walk out on me like this?"

Jinora didn't look back. "I'm not going to stop talking to you over this," she said tightly. "I just don't feel like talking to you tonight."

"You know I just want what's best for you—"

"So does he! You've been against him from the beginning, you've never even tried—"

"That is not true—"

"Then name one time you've actually tried to get to know him! One thing you know about him that isn't through me! Because Pfannee and Shen Shen and Lee all know him, and they like him! When I almost panicked myself into leaving Ba Sing Se my first night in the city, he's the one who talked me down! He's the one who was willing to do anything when we were broken up to help me recover in whatever way I needed! He's the one who got me away from high society and Manirak and whatever dark path that would have led to. He's been part of my family this entire time, and I his, even when we weren't together. Tell me that isn't love, Miki."

Miki faltered. "Jinora—"

"My, what are you two ladies yelling about this late at night?"

They both whirled around to see a man with a lopsided gait and a sleazy smile on his face. There was a knife in his hand, and Jinora's hand strayed to the one clipped to her belt, hidden mostly by her jacket. "None of your business," Jinora said, keeping her voice even. "Now, we are going to go on our way—"

"Not so fast girlie." The man gripped his knife and took a step back. "Hand over your money and jewelry, starting with that pretty necklace of yours."

Miki quivered beside her, and Jinora's throat tightened, pulsing against the chain of her promise ring. "Listen," she began, scowling. "You—"

The man raised his knife as though to make a slashing movement, and Jinora reached for her own dagger fruitlessly, when a hand grabbed the man's wrist and bent it backwards, almost to the point of breaking.

" _Drop it_ ," Kai hissed from behind him, and the knife clattered out of the man's grip. "You have ten seconds to get out of my sight," he said, his voice low and dangerous as he let go. The man ran as fast as he could, disappearing into the darkness. Jinora sheathed her dagger, rushing into Kai's arms. "What were you doing out here?" Kai said, speaking into her hair, and then raising his gaze to Miki's ashen face in the streetlamp.

"I changed my mind last minute," she mumbled, "and wanted to come back with you."

Kai shook his head. "I had a feeling you might do something I would do. That's what usually happens when you try and defend my honour."

Jinora laughed softly, pulling away just enough to look into his face. "We were going to be okay. I remember everything you taught me."

"Doesn't mean I want you to have to use it." Kai looked at her for a moment longer, then mostly released her. "Come on. Skoochy's at the corner." Indeed, the shaggy haired pirate was at the end of the block having a smoke, and Jinora wondered if there were more crew members around, secretly patrolling the area just in case. "He'll walk you back to the ship if you still want to go back. I'll walk Miki home."

"You don't have to," Miki said quickly.

"Don't care. I'm walking you home." Kai squeezed Jinora's upper arms. "You feel alright walking back with Skoochy?"

"Yeah. I'll make sure he saves some cigarettes for you." She smiled slightly, and he did too as he leaned in to kiss her forehead.

"Be safe, love. I'll see you in like twenty minutes, alright?"

"You too. See you soon."

To say that the walk back to Pfannee's house was awkward was an understatement. The silence seemed stifling, as Miki glanced occasionally at Kai, who stared straight on ahead as they drifted in and out of the light of the street lamps.

"Thank you," Miki began, but quieted when Kai looked at her.

"You don't have to," he said tightly. "Really. I just wish Jinora would have a better head on her shoulders sometimes, with that big brain of hers."

Miki managed a half-hearted laugh. "She's always been a little bit like that," she said.

"Oh I know. It's why she insisted on me teaching her how to use a dagger properly."

"She didn't even seem scared."

"She has a good poker face. You should see her play cards."

Miki almost smiled. "I really am glad you showed up, back there. Even if Jinora probably could've handled it." They were both quiet for a moment. "You're not a bad guy, I just—"

"I know. It's okay."

"It...is?"

"I can't get upset at you for having an opinion, and...there's clearly no changing your mind. You made up your mind about me a long time ago. Jinora did too, for that matter. I just don't want to be a rift between you two. I don't want you to miss out on sharing something special with her, or vice versa, just because…" He stopped in front of the Wens' front door. "Well goodnight, again, Miki."

"Goodnight, Kai. Thanks again."

He stuck his hands in his pockets. "Of course. You're her family too. I'll see if I can convince her to come by again tomorrow, if she's cooled down."

Miki's throat tightened. "Thanks. Um, see you tomorrow."

"You won't have to; I'll just drop her off." Kai took a step back. "Have a good night, Miki," he said, and walked away.

She busied herself with getting her key out of her coat pocket, and opening the door. As she locked it behind her and made her way back up to her room, she attempted to swallow down the guilt rising inside her.

She couldn't apologize for being honest. And as for apologizing for being wrong, well… she'd just have to see if she was wrong at all, first.

###

"Jin?"

She had just barely drifted off when she heard him say her name, and she smiled sleepily, her head rested on his chest. "Hmm?"

"Were you going to ask Miki to be your Maid of Honour?" he whispered.

Her smile faded, and she slowly opened her eyes. "Honestly, I… Yes, she was my first choice." She sighed. "It doesn't matter. I can ask Ikki or Shen or Pfannee—"

"You should still ask her."

Jinora tilted her head up to look at him. "Why? If she doesn't approve of us getting married or being together, than why should I ask her to help us accomplish those things?"

"It can't hurt to just ask. And she's your friend, and you both love each other. If you want her there, you should invite her." Kai reached down and tucked a brown curl behind her ears. "At least think about spending some more time with her before we leave port?"

Jinora frowned slightly, but nodded anyway. "Alright. I'll think about it."

"Thank you."

"She's still wrong about us," Jinora mumbled.

Kai wrapped an arm around her, his hand resting on the small of her back and stroking it lightly. "I know love… how about, if you don't feel up to going to see her tomorrow, we go mattress shopping instead? They have good cheap ones here and I know our springs are getting kinda bumpy. And then once we set sail, once you're done your weekly work for your project, we'll have all the time in the world to break it in…" He leaned in and kissed her briefly.

Jinora smiled when she pulled away. "Scheduling when we have sex? Sexy and punctual. I like it."

He snorted. "I try."

She rested her head back on his chest, drawing her arm over his stomach, tracing her finger lightly as she felt his breath even out. "Babe?"

"Mm?"

"Thank you."

She could feel the smile on his face, when he pressed a kiss to the side of her hair. "You're welcome. Sleep now?"

She smiled too, pressing her lips to his chest. "Yeah. G'nite love."

"Goodnight."

###

As soon as she heard the knock, Miki went straight for the door. Jinora was standing on her stoop, a basket tucked under one arm and wearing a yellow dress Miki had never seen before, as her friend rubbed her arm.

"May I come in?" Jinora asked.

"Of course," she said, standing aside. Jinora stepped in carefully, clasping her hands in front of her. Miki closed the door gently. "Um, Pfannee's making pancakes this morning. She's actually getting pretty good at cooking."

"I've brought along some of the cook's muffins, from the ship." Jinora lifted the basket hanging off her arm.

"Oh, thank you."

"Yeah, it was Kai's idea. He figured you both are cooking so often, now, so…"

"Oh."

Jinora sighed. "I figured we should talk, after where we left things last night."

"Yeah. I… Jinora, I don't want you to think I don't support you. But you're my best friend, and you were the first friend I've ever had. I just...worry."

"None of our other friends are worried about me and Kai."

"That's…" Miki sighed. "I admit, I...I haven't gotten to know him as well as everyone else has."

"He…" Jinora set the basket down on the nearest table. "He loves me so much, Miki. I know it."

"I believe you. It's just… Two breakups doesn't look great on paper."

"I know. But we've only grown together since. And the first time we were together, and 'broke up' all we'd done was kiss a few times. We had never really gone on a date or anything. And the second time… it was bad, but it was what we both needed, even if it hurt. And… we don't live our lives on paper, Miki. If we did I probably never would have met him."

"You really think you'll last this time?" It was a genuine question, with no tone of accusation or skepticism.

"I do."

"Then I'm not going to stop you."

"You weren't going to be able to either way."

Miki almost smiled. "I figured."

"But if you're...if you're willing, to try to change your mind about us...would you like to be my Maid of Honour?"

Miki blinked, taking a stumbling step back. "You…" She looked at the floor, and then back up at Jinora. "You want me to be your Maid of Honour?"

Jinora smiled slightly. "Of course I do. You're my best friend, even when we disagree. But only if you're willing."

"I…" Miki swallowed. "I'll have to...think over some things, before I make a decision, but… I'd love to."

Jinora's smile grew. "Thank you. It would mean a lot to us, to have you there."

"Kai's alright with it?"

"Kai's the one that told me to ask you."

"Wait, what?"

"I was planning to already," Jinora clarified. "But after last night, I wasn't sure if you'd… But he told me to ask you anyway. He knew it was important to me, to have you there, especially since you were—are my first choice to ask."

Miki gave her a slow smile. "Then...tell him thanks, for me. And, um...you should both stop by for lunch, before you leave." They moved into the kitchen together.

"You sure?"

"Yeah. It's about time I start getting to know your future husband a little better, anyway."

Jinora smiled. "Thanks, Miki. Now, let's go eat? I'm sure Lee Wen will want some muffins too."

###

Jinora shucked off her shoes and was already halfway on top of their bed, as Kai shut the door of the captain's quarters two days later. They'd gotten back from an afternoon at the Wens, staying long after lunch (mostly at Lee Wen's insistence for new playmates) with still full bellies and a couple of hours before dinner, and for once neither of them had any chores or work to do until then.

"God I love our new mattress," Jinora sighed, sinking into it and running a hand through her hair. They'd gotten it the previous afternoon for a decent price, and Kai had to admit it was a lot more comfortable, and a bit bigger, going a tad off the frame. It let them both sprawl out more at night, not that they minded being pressed together, but it would be extra nice in the warmer weather. He wouldn't have to have Jinora's elbow accidentally colliding with his stomach when she rolled over in her sleep to drool on the other side of her pillow anymore.

Kai took off his sword belt and shoes and joined her, and she automatically tucked herself into his side. "Sleepy?" he asked, when she nosed into his shoulder, yawning a bit.

"A little. Mostly my feet hurt. We did a lot of walking the past few days."

"You get used to walking a lot and then not at all," Kai told her. It was an occupational hazard of docking at ports for a few half a week, and then being stuck on a tiny ship for the other half. "I can fill up a basin with hot water that you can soak your feet in, next time."

She smiled softly. "I'd like that. But I'm too tired to sit up right now."

He chuckled softly. "That's alright. It's not my turn for night shift and tomorrow will just be sailing, so we can sleep in for awhile."

The crew knew what to do enough on out-at-sea days by this point that there weren't many orders to give (or arguments to break up, at least not until mid-morning).

"We should write my parents tonight," she mumbled. "And Rohan, and Aika and Tullik. They're all expecting letters soon."

"They can wait one more day love," he said. "Don't you have to finish your piece on this port tonight anyway?"

"Oh yeah, that." She sighed, curling away from him to stare at the ceiling.

Kai turned to look at her, poking her in the side. "What's wrong? You're not enjoying it anymore?"

"No I am, I'm just—" she sighed again. "It's a lot of work in a tight amount of time."

"We could always do a longer trip. Hit the more important ports twice. You could drop off your initial stuff when we dock back in Republic City for Thanksgiving."

Jinora glanced over at him. "You wouldn't mind coming back around?"

He shrugged. "We'd be doing it again either way. And I never mind coming when it comes to you."

She looked back at the ceiling, laughing, her toes curling. "That was really bad, even for you."

"But you still laughed."

"Because it was so bad."

He grinned. "As long as I still made you laugh." He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her to him. "And you've always known I'm a bad man."

"Oh, atrocious," she teased, playing along, laying her hands on his chest. "And a terrible influence on me."

"Well you've been a wonderful influence on me dear," he said, growing thoughtful when her smile and eyes softened. "What?"

"Nothing." She pressed her smile lightly to his shoulder. "I've just only ever heard my parents call each other that before."

"Oh. Is that...good?"

She smiled. "Yeah. It just…makes it more real, that we're going to grow old together." She curled into him. "I like it."

"I guess I'll talk with your parents at Thanksgiving," he mused. "Do I just tell them I already asked you, or…?"

"You might as well tell them the truth; they won't mind. My dad's been calling you son for years."

"Well, yeah, but that's different from… marrying into your family for real. Than marrying you."

"I think they've known for a while, that we'd end up together. I know they'll be happy, when you tell them."

"You really think so?"

Jinora nodded. "Why wouldn't they be?" she asked, her voice growing soft.

Kai squirmed slightly. "I don't know… just, is there anything else as permanent as marriage? I mean, I want to marry you, but it also includes them, and possibly their grandkids, and that's just so… the rest of their lives, y'know?"

Jinora laughed softly. "You've always been so considerate," she murmured. "And I know you haven't had many constants in your life before, but even if we weren't getting married, we'd still be together the rest of our lives anyway, right?"

"We would," he said, relaxing again.

"Exactly. That means you'd also be part of my parents' lives for the rest of it, too. It's like you said before. This is just more official." She tilted her head slightly to look up at him. "You still want this?"

"I do," he said immediately. "God, yes, I want this. To marry you. I just don't want them to think that I...disregarded them, or something. I don't know."

"They'll understand," she assured him, smoothing her hands down his chest. "Trust me, okay?"

He gave her a small smile. "Okay," he said, and they kissed briefly, before she settled back down again. He was silent for a long time before he said, voice tight, "Shit."

She arched her eyebrows. "What?"

"Who am I gonna have for my Best Man? I'll have to choose between Sono and Skoochy."

Jinora puffed out a laugh. "Maybe you can break convention and have both of them, love. We're having a pirate styled wedding after all."

"Yeah, but…"

"Or, you could ask Yung. Both of them would understand and neither would get butthurt, and maybe a decade down the line we can make sure we have twins, so they're both godfathers at the same time. How about that?"

Kai smiled into her hair. "And this is why I love you," he said, trying not to laugh.

"Jinora Gyatso-Fong. Problem solver." She wrinkled her nose at him when he laughed again. "Now let me sleep."

"Fine, fine." He held her close, burying his face in her hair. "I love you."

"I love you too".

"Anything else you wanna talk about?"

"No. You?"

"I'm just teasing you now," Kai said, and she could hear the shit-eating grin in his voice.

"I'm officially ignoring you for my nap, then. Wake me up when it's time for dinner." She let out a little sigh when he started stroking her hair, and she nosed into his shoulder, calm washing over her.

"Alright love," he promised, and she fell asleep quickly after that.


	26. The Move

Chapter Twenty-Six: The Move

Thanksgiving at the Gyatsos' never disappointed. The chefs had made a tradition of collaborating with Daw every year since Kai had been taken in, resulting in a several-course meal that fused both their traditional cuisine and the crew's favourite dishes into everyone's perfect dishes, and the table had always been full over the past few years, with every member of the crew that could make it squeezed into the main dining room. It had become one of Kai's new favourite sights, to see his families merged together, even if he knew such a full house would be a hindrance this year when it came to speaking with Pema and Tenzin alone.

It wasn't until after dessert, when the crew had spread out to different tea rooms and the gardens, that he was able to get Tenzin and Pema alone in one of the smaller reading rooms, fidgeting when he let out a cough to get their attention.

"Kai," Tenzin said, his voice pleasant. "Are you looking for Jinora? I think I saw her with Ikki, playing cards with Zedd?"

Kai had passed them on his way over, too. "Thank you sir, but I actually came to speak with both of you." He gestured to one of the arm chairs around the coffee table. "May I?"

Pema set her book aside. "Of course. Is something wrong sweetheart?"

"No," he said quickly, taking a seat and curving his hands over his knees. "I… A few months ago I asked Jinora to marry me."

They were silent for a moment, and nervousness churned in Kai's gut, when Pema leaped out of her seat and rushed over to pull him into a big hug. "Oh, why didn't you tell us sooner?" she exclaimed.

"Have you planned a date yet?" Tenzin asked, his expression brightening.

Kai was frozen for a moment. "You...don't mind that I didn't ask you both beforehand?" he asked weakly, and Pema pulled away with a soft chuckle.

"We've known it was going to happen for a while, sweetheart," Pema said cheerfully. "It wasn't remiss to assume you had our permission, since you've known us for so long."

"Yeah, but—" His voice cracked slightly. "You're really okay with it?"

"Would you like a formal blessing anyway?" Tenzin asked, his grey eyes sparkling with amusement. Kai wasn't sure if it was the first time he'd ever heard Tenzin joke with him.

"I...yes?"

"Then know that you have it. You've had it for a long time, Kai."

At first, Kai was quiet, looking between the two of them before a wide smile spread across his face. "Thank you," he said, his voice surprisingly soft. "It...it means a lot to me," he managed, his voice tight. "You've both given me so much—"

Pema hugged him again, and this time he hugged her back. "You saved our family," she said softly, "and then you made it grow. We are so honoured that you get to be part of our lives."

"I'm honoured too," Kai mumbled, as he slowly pulled away. "Thank you. I don't have a ring yet, but—I want you to know that while asking her was a spur of the moment decision, which is why I didn't talk to you first, wanting to marry her… I've wanted that, deep down, ever since I was sixteen years old."

Pema smiled warmly. "We know. Have you two picked a date?"

He shook his head, grinning. "Not yet. We thought we would have a bit of a long engagement, and not have the wedding until she's taught for a couple years, maybe. I don't wanna rush her career."

"You both have time," said Tenzin. "Just let us know as soon as you've started making plans."

"We will, sir."

Kai's eyes crinkled, as he went to leave, when Tenzin said, "Kai?"

He turned around to look at both of them. "Yes?"

Pema wrapped an arm around her husband. "Thank you for loving our daughter."

Kai smiled widely. "Thank you for letting me be in her life. It's the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. I think I'm going to go find her now, and let her know."

"Go on, son," Pema said, smiling and tearing up a little, as she and Tenzin watched him leave.

###

"I told you it would be alright," Jinora said, as they got undressed for bed, hanging her bra and his sword belt up on the hooks on their wall, as Jinora reached for a nightgown hanging off her dresser knob. She pulled it on easily, the light material soft and cool against her skin.

"They were so happy," he said, still sounding awestruck. Jinora laughed softly.

"Of course they were. They love you." She rested her hand between his shoulder-blades. "And even more importantly, I love you."

Kai turned towards her, wrapping an arm around her bare waist and tugging her to him, her nightgown held in her other hand. "Yes you do," he said contently, resting his eyes on her.

Jinora tilted her head upwards, sighing into his mouth as he leaned down and kissed her. Somehow, it'd been two weeks since they'd had sex (mostly due to their busy days and her work report, she figured, and preferring to just sleep on their new mattress rather than break it in) but now that they were both in the middle of undressing, it couldn't hurt to seize the opportunity, could it?

She tugged him closer, sliding her hands to the waistband of his pants, picking at it, and he startled for a moment, before he pulled away from her lips, smiling. "It has been a while hasn't it?"

"Way too long," she agreed, pulling him in for another kiss. She giggled against his mouth when he picked her up, his hands resting under her bum, and he carried her over to their bed, laying her down gently. The mattress bounced lightly under them, and Jinora's smile widened when she noticed that there wasn't any more squeaking. "Mm," she watched as he stepped back and shed his pants, "hear that? Now there won't be anything blocking out my moans."

"How poor for the crew," Kai chuckled, running his hands down her waist to her hips appreciatively. She cupped his jaw, pressing her smile to the other side of his face. "And for this momentous occasion, is there any position you would particularly like?"

Her smile grew. "You know hearing you say big words riles me up."

He gave her ass a squeeze. "That I do, love. Now, are you going to answer the question?"

"From behind," she said, raising her chin slightly. "So we can see how this new bed feels under my knees."

Kai peeled himself away from her, moving back onto his knees to give her room. "Turn around, then, so we can find out," he purred, grasping at her hips. His eyes were fixed on her backside, his hands running along the curve of her ass. "So beautiful," he murmured, before grasping her hips. He rubbed his cock along her dripping entrance, and her grip on the pillow tightened as she watched his face. "And mine," he added, his eyes flickering up to hers.

"Yours," she agreed. "All yours…" She whimpered softly. "Please, baby, it's been so long since I've had you inside me." Almost two weeks, he thought vaguely.

His face softened, one of his hands leaving her hip to brush her hair out of her face. "Do you remember the first time we made love? I couldn't stop thinking about how beautiful, you were. That you really were mine. I couldn't believe it… I believe it now."

Jinora's heart melted, and she looked back at him with tender eyes. "I've always been yours," she said. "I'll always _be_ yours."

He pulled away slightly. "Do you mind turning over? I feel like looking at you now, tonight."

She smiled, puffing out a laugh as she rolled over again, and looped her arms around his neck. "This is the last time I request a particular position," she teased, and he chuckled as he settled against her.

"How about in the morning?" he said.

"Again: your scheduling skills are very sexy."

He laughed again, resting his forehead against hers, their noses bumping. "Learned from the best, babe." His weight settled over hers, as he wrapped his arms around her. "I love you."

"I love you too, Kai," she murmured, sighing when he kissed her again, and wound her thighs around his hips and they moved together, slow but deep.

She tore away from his mouth with a sudden gasp a good while later, and she cried out his name as she found her release, her walls clenching hard around him. His hand came up to cradle the back of her head, and she buried her face in his shoulder as she moaned and tightened around him, her mouth soundlessly ajar.

"That's it baby," he panted, pressing soothing kisses to the curve of her jaw. Her teeth scraped the old scar across his shoulder, her body shuddering as her walls loosened. "I love you, Jinora," he murmured, as he began thrusting into her again.

She did her best to fold her body into his, cupping his head and back of his neck as though they were lifelines, and pressing kisses to his skin, to his scar. "I love you too," she whispered. "So much."

He spilled inside her with a groan, hips going flat against hers, his hot breath ghosting over her ear. She held him close, even as their movements stopped. "I love you," he repeated, and she smiled softly.

"I know."

He nuzzled lightly into her neck. "Even when I couldn't say it?"

"Even then. You've always shown it in actions as much as words." She went still when his hands cradled her back, and he flipped them over so she was lying on top of him, and his hands gently caressed her back and shoulders.

"I love you with everything that I am," he murmured, and she turned her head up to look him in the face, her promise ring sliding into his, as he brushed her hair out of her face and then went to cup her cheek. "You know that, don't you?"

"Of course I do," she said. "And I love you with everything I am." She rested her forehead against his and stroked his cheeks. "I never want to be parted from you again."

His eyes grew thoughtful. "Is that why you're not considering Ba Sing Se?" She didn't say anything, but her silence and expression said it all, in the slight furrow of her brow. "Jin—"

"It almost ruined us last time," she whispered. "I can't go through that again. I can't…"

"I don't want to hold you back."

Jinora lowered her eyes. "It's mostly that," she admitted slowly, "but not only. I don't know if—if I'd feel _safe_ living alone again in the city, but I don't want to take a chance on a roommate either, you know how much I need my own space and I don't know if a new person would respect that."

Kai pursed his lips. "But you do want to teach in Ba Sing Se? Barring everything."

"It would be a once in a lifetime opportunity," she mumbled, and he lifted her chin, his eyes steadfast when they met hers.

"Then take it."

"But—"

"And I'll go with you."

Jinora's eyes widened. " _What_? But the crew—"

"—can stay here in Republic City. Your father can find them stationary work, they can work on projects they've always wanted to. Maybe Otaku will go finally marry Jaya, Skoochy could look for his family. The others would manage. Once your research project is over, we can go to Ba Sing Se together, the crew can try things out, and… we can try out a life on land. And while I'm in Ba Sing Se, I can do research and find contacts on the eastern shore of the Earth Kingdom. Get the information I need to take down Quil in the meantime. And you'd be in the city, teaching, and I'd be with you. I'd keep you safe." He ran his thumb over the curve of her cheek. "And you'll never have to choose between your old and your new dreams ever again."

Jinora smiled widely, her eyes shining in the darkness. There were so many words stuck in her throat she couldn't manage any of them, and Kai cleared his throat slightly.

"Don't get me wrong," he said softly. "I'm flattered that I'm what matters most, but… I'm also not the only thing that matters, and that's an important thing too." He swallowed. "Jin, can you um, say something, or—"

She kissed him firmly, her smile spreading against his mouth. "Thank you," she managed, and then realized she was crying. "I—are you _sure_?"

"I wasn't too fond of long distance either," he said, reaching up and wiping at her cheeks. "You okay? These are happy tears right?"

She laughed. "Yes, they're happy." She kissed him again, more briefly this time. "Are you really sure?"

"I am."

"But…"

"What can I do to convince you?"

Jinora sat up. "I don't know. I just, I don't want you to be unhappy, so far away from the sea and our family."

He took her hands. "You make me happy. You _are_ my home. Wherever I have to be to be with you, I can make it work. We can make it work." He pressed a kiss to her knuckles. "I don't want to be apart from you again, either. And this way, we won't have to be." He squeezed her hands gently. "We'll make it work, this time."

She laced her fingers through his, gripping them as their eyes met, and she nearly started crying again. "I love you. Thank you. It wouldn't be until next September."

"I know." Kai smiled at her. "I've thought about this, Jin. I know what I'm getting myself into."

Jinora rested her head on his chest. "What do you say we do something together tomorrow, just the two of us? Something you want to do."

He tucked her head under his chin. "I don't know, I can't really think of anything. You're easy to plan dates for. Is there any restaurant you've ever wanted to go to in Republic City?"

"I asked if there was something _you_ wanted," she said, fond and exasperated in equal measure.

"I don't know. Weren't there things you wanted to show me on land back when we were kids?"

"We've already done ice skating."

"Wasn't there something else? A bicycle?"

"We could do that," she acknowledged. "What about restaurants you were curious about, growing up?"

"Uhh… there was a restaurant, Narook's? It was fancy but it looked like it had really good noodles. I think it's still around."

"Narook's Noodle Place?"

"That's the one."

Jinora pressed her smile to his chest. "It is fancy, but I can look into getting a reservation for maybe Sunday? They need a couple days notice. And you probably need a new suit, we can go shopping for one tomorrow?"

He smiled softly, burying his nose in the top of her hair. "Alright babe."

"You don't mind wearing a suit?"

"Not as long as you take it off."

She giggled softly. "Deal."

###

In all his years, Kai had never been at such a fancy restaurant before. Even with the Gyatsos or at St. Bosco's he'd only frequented lower class places that were cheaper, and then with the crew, it would be pubs and the like. Certainly, he'd never thought he'd end up at Narook's. He'd never been all that interested before, either, but being seated at a booth, sitting down across from Jinora as the waiter brought them iced glasses of water, he decided it wasn't such a bad kind of different. Sure, he still felt a little self conscious because the sleeves of his dress shirt only just came far enough down his wrists to cover all his tattoos, his dinner jacket laid properly across the back of his chair, and he didn't know what utensils to use, but he was with Jinora. He was okay; better than okay, actually.

"Get whatever you want," Jinora told him, reaching across the table and grasping at his hand. "My treat."

Kai grinned. "Aren't I supposed to be spoiling you?"

"We spoil each other now, remember? Besides, honey, I'll always have more money than you."

He gave her an admiring look. "Very true. Alright, treat me away. What are the most expensive things on the menu you'd think I'd like?"

Jinora pointed out a few things, mostly Narook's signature noodle dishes, and Kai finally settled on one with a tasty sauce and bread rolls on the side. Jinora got a noodle bowl and a side salad (with the dressing on the side too). They tasted each others' dishes and talked about everything and nothing, even long after they'd eaten their fill. They ordered a bottle of wine and finished at least half of it, talking in between sips of wine, mostly about their families. Pabu and Momo were dating now, and Ryu and Skoochy were dancing around each other more than ever before. Lefty had somehow roped Otaku into agreeing to write a memoir of his life, and Tenzin was continuing for another term of re-election in a year or so. Meelo was graduating high school.

It was moments like these, when he truly had time to sit in the thought, that Kai wondered how he'd come to love his life so much.

They left the restaurant with some dessert to go and the unfinished bottle of wine, swinging their joined hands lightly between them as they walked through the empty streets.

Kai pulled her closer when they stopped under a streetlight, and he realized where they'd walked. "Remember this?" he murmured, and Jinora followed his line of gaze.

It was the bank. Tears welled in her eyes as she nodded, leaning into him. "You did so much more than save my life, that day."

"That scar on my shoulder is my favourite," he said, wrapping an arm around her. "The pain I got from that bullet was nothing compared to the joy I've found, in knowing you, and loving you." He pressed his lips to her temple. "I'd happily take that shot a thousand more times if I had to."

"You don't," she said softly, her voice breaking. "You're stuck with me now, no matter what."

"Good." He turned so he was facing her fully, and pulled her to him. "I love you, Jinora Gyatso-Fong."

She smiled tearfully. "I love you too, Kai Gyatso-Fong."

He squeezed her hand. "Come on. Let's go home."

Back on the ship, Jinora helped him out of his suit and hung it up in his dresser closet, carefully to avoid wrinkles and unnecessary creases, and she brought the bottle of wine to bed once she'd undressed too, passing it over to him when she joined him under the covers.

"Still ready to go cycling tomorrow?" she asked, snuggling up to him.

"You sure I can't use training wheels?" he joked, and she laughed.

"You know, I think leaving the pirate life behind has made you soft," she said, trailing her fingers up his ribs.

Kai smiled, resting his head back on his pillows and setting the bottle on their bedside table. "If your hand goes any lower I'll be hard." Jinora wrinkled her nose at him, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to the corner of his mouth; he still tasted a little like wine.

"I might do something about that later," she said, nestling into his arms.

"Don't make promises you can't keep," he said, settling down to sleep.

"Tomorrow with that particular position then?" She closed her eyes, smiling faintly when he kissed her forehead again.

"Sure, love."

"G'night Kai."

"Night Jin."

###

Growing up, Jinora had never really thought she'd like life at sea all that much. She was very glad to be wrong, in this case. Six months of waking up to the sensation of the boat rocking, getting caught up in the bustle of daily chores, eating and talking and laughing with the crew, and feeling the rush of the wind and sea spray in her hair was a kind of adventure she never would have thought to dream of. Her schedule with her report was getting easier to manage, and she spent every night in the arms of her love. She and Kai had been unofficially engaged for months now, although they'd decided to simply celebrate predominantly New Years Eve and the day they'd met as their anniversaries, rather than any of the days they'd gotten together on.

They were sitting on deck after a long day, watching the sun set as they held hands in silence. "We're heading for ZaoFu in about a week," Kai said. "And it's been a while since we saw Lee and Shen Shen."

Jinora smiled softly. "I wonder how they're doing," she murmured. "As far as I know, they're still together."

"That's what they say in their letters." Kai nudged her slightly. "You think they'll get married?"

"I don't know yet. I think they'd be happy together, if they decided to." She chuckled to herself. "Shen Shen's always been reluctant to settle down."

"If he's right for her, she will," he said. "When you find the right person, you...you stop wanting to run." Kai squeezed her hand, and Jinora's smile softened.

"You're a sap," she mumbled.

"And I'm right."

"You are." Jinora stepped closer to him. "I wish I had never run from you. Never let my jealousy and insecurity get bigger than my love for you."

"Neither of us are running now," he said softly. "That's what matters." He wrapped an arm around her when she leaned into him.

"I'm never running ever again."

"I know," he said, gently rubbing her upper arm. "Neither am I." He smiled. "We're getting married after all, aren't we?"

"Well, yes, but…"

His smile faded. "But?"

"I thought we were forever once already, and we are, but—" Her eyes pleaded for him to understand. "We've torn ourselves apart so many times. I never want to go through that again."

Kai held her closer, silent for awhile, before he said, "Do you remember one of the first things I learned in therapy?" She nodded wordlessly against his shoulder, curling into him. "Dr. Aput reminded me, of how important it is to just let yourself be happy, instead of worrying when that happiness will be end, and you remind me of that. You showed me why and how I could be happy. And I hope I can always do the same for you."

Jinora smiled softly. "You do," she said. "We've just been through so much already. I just...want us to be okay."

"We will be. Wherever we go, we'll be together. For better or worse. And if you start feeling the way you did before, I want you to tell me, no matter how silly it seems, okay?"

"Okay. And if we start struggling again, we can even see Dr. Aput, together."

"Of course." He kissed her forehead. "We've never truly fallen apart, and we never will. If we're both willing to do whatever it takes to make this work, we will always be together. I promise you."

She smiled softly, her expression turning to one of ease. "Okay." She rested her head on his shoulder, glancing up at the starry sky. "I could go for some hot chocolate. How about you?" Her eyes met his knowingly. "Make some happy memories."

"Yeah. I think we can even get some leftover cookies." He took her hand, squeezing it gently as they walked down to the kitchen.

They were okay.

###

Lee had gotten a political position in the mayor's office in ZaFou, under the BeiFong family, and the city had good shopping centres, so Shen Shen hadn't minded following him there away from Republic City almost immediately after Thanksgiving. If she was being honest with herself, which was rare but hey, it still happened, she knew she would have followed him even if the shopping centres were awful. Would have followed him anywhere, really. It was terrifying in its own way. But his eyes and his smile and his arms had become safe, at some point. She wasn't sure when it had started, only that she'd found herself in the middle before she'd even realized it had begun.

Ugh. Feelings were messy.

She walked hand-in-hand with him anyway, as they made their way through the coastal shopping district to the docks. She had a single large shopping bag hanging from her free wrist—a gift they'd picked up from one of the boutiques, for their guests. She'd thought both of them would appreciate a nice dress she'd gotten for Jinora, and some new shoes for Kai to wear to fancier places. As well as a note recommending a certain lingerie place for Jinora, but that was besides the point, and for both her and Kai's appreciation.

"You're quiet," Lee observed, and she rolled her eyes.

"I can't be quiet sometimes?"

"You can. But you generally like talking," he said with a slight smile. "Something on your mind?"

"Just excited to see our friends, is all."

"And nervous?"

"Why would I be nervous? They already know about us."

"I don't know," said Lee. "You tell me."

Well, now she couldn't back down from a challenge. "I… it's silly, but, I suppose… they're engaged now and we all knew it was coming, but Miki has a career, and Pfannee has had a kid for awhile, and I feel like I'm basically still doing the same thing I was doing in high school."

"No one's rushing you," he said. "Least of all our friends."

"I know, but just… what am I going to do for the rest of my life? We're turning twenty-four, Lee, and next year we'll be twenty-five, and…" She swallowed. "My parents' best hopes for me was that I'd be someone's shiny new trophy wife."

"We both know you're more than that."

"You know they tried to take me back when they heard that I was with you?"

"Did...did you let them?"

"Of course not. I just...maybe I'm a little...envious, seeing Kai and Jinora. Both of them are so close to their families, and…making something of themselves."

"You'll find something you love doing, someday," he said. "I know it. And till then, none of us think any less of you. And just for the record, when we were growing up, I envied you. You always seemed so self-assured, and I was, well, floundering in my brother's shadow. You never looked outwards for anyone's approval. I don't think now is the time to start."

Shen Shen smiled slightly. "It was easier then."

"And you're stronger now. So don't doubt yourself, okay? You can do anything you put your mind to, with only mild complaining and rage."

Shen Shen snorted softly. "I'm flattered," she said flatly. She glanced away suddenly, her grip on his hand tightening. "By the way, it's been...nice. These past few months. Being able to talk to you."

"I'd like to think you can talk to me, considering that we've been dating for almost a year now," he teased. Shen Shen shoved him lightly in the shoulder.

"You know what I mean," she said. "I've also never been with someone for this long, so it's just...different."

"A good different?"

Shen Shen's smile softened. "Yeah. A good different."

"Which reminds me… the BeiFongs are having a party, and we've been invited, along with Kai and Jinora and Miki, who's bringing Pfannee, but… we've also never gone to a function together as each other's date, so, would you want to? Go as my date, I mean?"

Shen Shen grew thoughtful for a moment. "You'll let me buy you a new suit? You haven't gotten a new one since you graduated from university and I keep telling you—"

"Fine," he said, his smile growing, and he pulled her closer. "As long as you're there with me."

Shen Shen buried her face in his chest. "Alright, then. We'll go together."

"And we'll get you a new necklace or something?"

She smiled. "Something like that."

###

Kai had only been to the docks of ZaoFu before, so to be there at a mansion was something else. The view from the third-story balcony made the docks look far more picturesque, especially without the scent of fish and sweaty merchants baking in the sun. Instead, a light vanilla scent wafted through the ballroom, and soft, polite chatter served as background noise. Jinora had her arm in his, and she was stunning as ever in a long yellow ball gown.

There were a lot of other people here too, the Sonos, and BeiFongs of course, the Chus and the Zhangs. In the corner of his eye, he saw Lee and Shen Shen dancing, both looking happy and at peace.

"To think, we're here and Opal's too busy being a pirate to be present tonight," Jinora said. "It's kind of a shame, though. I've heard that it's a lot more fun when she and the rest of Korra's crew is able to make it."

"I can imagine," Kai said. "It's nice that they allow them to come at all, with Kuvira."

"The head of the APA?" Jinora asked, and he nodded. "I can see how that could lead to some familial tension," she said dryly, and he cracked a grin.

"Apparently she's here tonight, according to Shen Shen."

Jinora smoothed her hands over his shoulders. "I'll do all the talking then, babe?"

"I was thinking we could dance first," he suggested, "but yes. Thank you."

Jinora smiled, and let him lead her onto the dance floor and let him lead, now that he knew how to waltz like an expert. They danced until they needed refreshments, dodging the Sonos except for Lee near the drinks and having a few. It was only once dinner had ended (sitting at a table safely with their friends) that they went back out onto the dance floor, and Kai rolled up his sleeves due to the warming room. Jinora drew close to him, resting her head on his shoulder.

"I've been thinking of getting a tattoo," she murmured, and he raised his head in surprise.

"You have?"

She nodded, and took the hand he had on her lower back, guiding it down to her hip. "Somewhere here," she said. "Maybe an anchor."

"You'd have it forever."

"I'll have you forever."

Keeping in mind that they were in public, Kai squeezed her hip, and then returned his hand to her lower back. "I could draw it for you."

The corners of her eyes crinkled in a soft smile. "I'd like that a lot."

And then a sneer came, loud and cold. " _Pirate._ "

Kai steeled himself, turning because there was no one else here who would be addressed with that title, his jaw clenching as he tried to keep his face neutral. He opened his mouth to speak, but Jinora beat him to it.

"How dare you," she said, her voice firm. She stared back at Kuvira with icy eyes, the older woman frowning heavily, her dark hair pulled back into a neat, low-hanging bun, a mole underneath one of her pale green eyes.

"Jinora," Kai said, loosely grabbing at her elbow. "It's fine—"

"He hasn't even done any illegal work in almost five years now," Jinora continued, though she didn't pull away from Kai's grasp. "And that's when he was a boy. He has as much right to be here as anybody."

"He had a criminal record for years," Kuvira said crossly. "Five years of so-called good behaviour, if not less, does not erase his past. Nothing can—not even all your family's best attempts to civilize him and his kind."

" _Civilize_ —?"

"Jin, it's okay. She's not the first and she's not the last." If he wasn't going to get angry for himself, the least he could do was be angry for how much this was upsetting his fiancé. "I'll never be anything but gutter scum to her, but that's exactly why her opinion means shit. No offense, ma'am, but we'll be taking our leave now."

Jinora frowned, but she took Kai's arm anyway, forcing her glare away as they left. "I can't believe her," she muttered. "The nerve—and Opal's a full fledged pirate, and the BeiFongs still associate with Kuvira of all people—"

"They did raise her," Kai said. "Her fiancé was killed by pirates, years back."

"Still," Jinora said, and Kai drew her out to the empty balcony.

"I don't know," he said, pulling her closer, and she softened just by the nature of it. "If someone took you away from me, I would hate them too."

Jinora's expression smoothed over. "I suppose I would too," she admitted quietly.

"Besides, I could care less about her opinion. She can hate me all she wants. It's your opinion that matters."

She managed a small smile. "And I always think you're wonderful."

"Exactly. Even when I don't know what to say." He kissed her forehead. "Do you want to go home now?"

"I don't know," she said, a little bit of wistfulness entering her voice. "It's a little late… The BeiFongs _are_ friends with my parents. We could just stay here? I know Miki was planning on doing that and heading out in the morning, along with a few others. Shen Shen and Lee, and Pfannee and her Lee. It's hard travelling with a little kid over a big distance. I'm pretty sure they're all catching the same train tomorrow."

Kai gazed at her for a moment. "Do you feel like you miss out on doing things with them, since they're on land and you're not? You could always take the train with them. Stay with one of them for a week or two until the Waterbender makes its way to where you are."

Jinora shook her head. "I'd miss you more. Besides, if we visit them, we should visit them together."

"Even Miki? I know she's...not my biggest fan."

"She'll learn to adjust. I'm marrying you, after all. And she's said she'll be my Maid of Honour, so clearly she's warming up a bit to the idea." She toyed with the collar of his shirt, straightening it. "And I thought you just said no one else's opinion matters but mine? Are you contradicting yourself?"

"No. Just reaffirming what I've already known to be true." He smiled, resting his forehead against hers. "And having your friends like me is a bonus."

Jinora giggled softly. "The rest of them do, and like I said, Miki is coming around. They all know you're stuck with me. So, we're staying here for the night?"

"Might as well. I think I'm too tired to have to worry about any noise complaints."

She pouted. "You sure?"

"I'm sure."

She perked up, and kissed his cheek. "Alright, babe. You want to head in now, then?"

"If that's alright with you."

"Of course it is." She kissed his chest. "My feet hurt a little from all the dancing. Come on. Let's go say goodnight to the others and retrieve your dinner jacket, and then we can get some sleep."

Kai pressed a kiss to the top of her head before she pulled away, taking his hand and leading him back inside. One of the BeiFong kids dispatched a servant to take them to a guest room, after they said goodnight to everyone, and it was quiet when their door was shut, and Kai started shedding his stuffier clothes.

He paused to help Jinora get the clasp of her dress undone at the back, and she shimmied mostly out of it before coming up behind him once his shirt was off, and pressing kisses to his scars and resting her palms on his chest. "I love you," she whispered.

Kai rested his hands over hers, giving them a squeeze. "I know. I love you too." He turned slowly to face her, running his hands through her hair as he kissed her. "So much."

When he pulled away, she leaned up a little higher to kiss the tip of his nose, her hands on his shoulders when he smiled. The bed was a little cold when they finished undressing, and making love could only ward off the chill so much. It was a temporary relief when they finished, the sweat cooling on their skin. Kai let her lie on top of him for a few moments, before he flipped them, cocooning her in his warmth again as his weight settled on top of hers. "Better?" he whispered hoarsely.

Jinora nodded, snuggling into him and pressing soft kisses to his chest. "I love you so much," she murmured.

"I love you too." He brushed her hair out of her face, pulling out of her to retrieve her robe and to pull on some new sleep pants before joining her back in bed. Jinora slipped on her robe. "Now is it time for both of us to go to sleep?"

"Yes," Jinora said decidedly, smiling when Kai let out a soft sigh of relief. "You that tired?"

"A little. I really don't think I have another round in me."

She patted his chest affectionately. "Well you performed magnificently as always."

He grinned sleepily. "Thanks for the feedback, love."

She rested her head on his chest, tilting her chin up and kissing him softly on the jaw. "Anytime. Goodnight love."

###

They were woken up by the sound of banging on their door. Jinora was harder to rouse, curling in on herself when she got off of Kai, as Kai forced himself to sit up. "Just a moment," he called, blinking the sleep out of his eyes. Years of being raided gave him quicker instincts when it came to pulling on clothes, although he waited until Jinora was wearing a dress alongside her robe to open up the door.

"What—"

"Search him." Kuvira's voice was sharp and cold, and she was flanked by two stoic faces Kai had seen at the party last night. APA officers in their day job, maybe? Kai rolled his eyes, spreading his arms.

"Do you have a warrant?" Jinora demanded.

"No time, and this is technically my family's house," Kuvira began, but Jinora stood in front of her and Kai, glowering.

"You have no right to search him. On what charges do you even think you have the right to barge in here?"

"One of Suyin's necklaces went missing last night."

"And you think—?!" Jinora scoffed.

"I didn't take her necklace," Kai said. "And if I had, you wouldn't have known about it till long after we left. How stupid do you think I am, to steal something—which I wouldn't—but to steal something where I would automatically be the prime suspect?"

Kuvira narrowed her eyes at him. "Find anything?" she asked the other officers.

"Nothing, sir," one of them reported, and the other shook their head.

"Yeah, we could've told you that," Jinora snapped. "Now, get out."

Kuvira fixed her with a stern stare. "You will both reside here in the mansion until the necklace is procured."

"We're not prisoners, Kuvira. You can't treat us like this."

"As head of the APA, in the presence of a known pirate, I really do believe I can. You are free to move about the mansion as you wish, while I carry on the investigation."

"But—"

"Jin." Kai's voice was gentle. "We didn't do anything wrong, so there's no harm in staying for a little longer, is there?"

"She can't—"

"Let's just be glad I'm not in handcuffs," he tugged her into a sitting position on the edge of their bed. "Okay? Let them investigate. They're not going to find anything on me."

She scowled, but took a seat as the officers and Kuvira left the room. "I hate they can just—just accuse you of whatever they feel like! You're a _good man_ , and you were one even when you were a pirate, can't they see that your past—"

"I wear my past all over me," he said quietly. "My scars, my tattoos. My lifestyle, my bloodline. Our children will carry it too. They'll be seen as a mutt, the same way that I am. Not a street rat, maybe, but…" He smiled sadly. "Listen, if Kuvira had her way, she'd be hauling me out in handcuffs right now. But she can't. And I'm grateful for that alone."

Jinora took his hands, drawing them into her lap. "It's not fair," she muttered.

Kai kissed the side of her head. "I know." He wrapped an arm around her when she leaned into him, gently stroking her upper arm. "Thanks for standing up for me."

It didn't ease her nerves much. "You don't think Kuvira would… frame you, do you?"

"Nah. She can do a lot, but trying to frame the pirate-turned-sailor that your family took in? The APA has popularity issues as it is." He pressed his smile to her temple. "I'll be alright, love."

"But if she tried slipping the necklace into your belongings—"

"Even if she did, do you think Suyin would go around making accusations? Don't worry."

"Not possible," she mumbled, and leaned further into him. His smile grew, and he rested his head on top of hers.

"Then how about we go get some breakfast? Even if Kuvira's not exactly welcoming, I'm sure the BeiFongs won't want us to starve up here."

"Alright. But their pancakes aren't as good as Daw's."

"Better than no pancakes. And I can still drown them in syrup, which is what matters. Come on."

Jinora smiled, letting him pull her up to her feet. After all, there were some things Kuvira couldn't take from them.

###

They found everyone else at the breakfast table, the BeiFongs eating in a separate nook, most likely talking about the missing necklace, and it seemed the gossip had spread too, with Shen Shen and Pfannee speaking in hushed tones like they were back at boarding school.

"There you two are," Lee greeted. "We were wondering when you'd come down."

"So the word's spread, huh?" Kai asked, trying to smile. Lee gave him a consoling pat on the shoulder.

"No one believes you did it. Suyin's having some servants look around for it now."

"It's still bullshit," Jinora grumbled, but Kai squeezed her hand and made her sit down.

"Just eat your berries, love." He bit back a laugh when Jinora speared her fork through a berry, the juice gushing around it as she popped it into her mouth.

"Miki, Pfannee, Shen Shen and I are all staying for as long as you have to," said Lee. "At the very least, it might convince Suyin to get Kuvira to back down if she has more than two extended houseguests."

Kai shook his head. "No. If this isn't resolved by nightfall, I want Jinora to take the train with the rest of you. She doesn't deserve to be locked up here."

"Neither do you," Jinora said firmly. "I'm not leaving without you."

"Gyatso, the last thing I want to do right now is argue with you. Please?"

"I don't want to argue either. So let me stay."

Kai ran his hand through his hair. "They _would_ take you leaving as an admission of guilt, I bet. That I'd smuggled the damn necklace to you somehow…" he sighed. "I hate that you got dragged into this."

"It's not your fault. If anything, it's Kuvira's fault, for blaming you so quickly."

Kai reached for the syrup and poured it over his pancakes. "I guess I should be grateful it happened now," he said, sighing with a shrug and a half-smile. "If I'd been blamed in school for stealing I would've been expelled or arrested for sure."

"And now your only punishment is that you have to eat pancakes that aren't Daw's," she teased.

"How will I manage," Kai said dryly. Jinora nudged him gently, and he smiled a little, before turning back to Lee. "You guys don't have to wait up for us," he said, but Lee shook his head.

"We already agreed, and you know how much Miki and Shen Shen hate it when we change plans."

Kai looked across the table at Miki. "You're staying?"

"Yes?" Miki looked up from her bowl of oatmeal.

"Why?"

She shrugged. "You're innocent."

"You believe me?"

Miki rolled her eyes. "Kai, you're a lot of things, but you're not a liar, and you wouldn't have any reason to steal anything from the BeiFongs anyway."

"Well…" he swallowed. "Thank you."

Miki nodded stiffly. "Don't mention it."

By mid-day though, when they'd all gathered back together for lunch, it seemed that Kuvira had to admit defeat when the necklace was found, having fallen behind a dresser and swept under a bed by servants cleaning before the party. The officer herself didn't announce it, but Suyin did, while offering Kai her deepest apologies. There was little else he could do but accept.

Mostly he just wanted to leave. So they packed quickly, right after lunch, and took a carriage to the docks as fast as they could.

"I miss the ship," he mumbled on the ride over, and Jinora took his hand, squeezing it gently.

"I guess we'll be limiting our BeiFong visits?"

"Unless it's Opal BeiFong inviting us onto Korra's ship, yes."

"That's fine by me love," she said, pecking him on the cheek, and he gave her a slight smile.

He didn't really smile much for the rest of the day, though, even once they'd left ZaoFu behind for the open sea, and when Jinora woke up to find him still lying beside her mid-morning the next day, her suspicions were confirmed. This was a Bad Day for him.

"Kai?"

His voice was tired, and he didn't turn to look at her. "Hey."

Jinora pursed her lips, and then tentatively placed a hand on his shoulder. It had been so long since he'd had one of these, she'd almost forgotten about them. Or at least, so long since she'd thought of them as something that could still happen. She held in a sigh, and then leaned down to kiss his shoulder.

"You hungry?" she asked.

"Not really," he mumbled, still not responding to her touch.

"I'll bring you some water," she said, rising and getting dressed to fetch her own breakfast. "You don't have to eat now, but if you don't have anything by lunchtime, I'm bringing some fruit, okay?"

"Okay."

Jinora's throat tightened as she left the room. These days had always been hard. Harder still when they seemingly came out of nowhere, where he felt frustrated too, because he didn't know where this sadness or numbness was coming from, just that it was all he could feel.

Still, she got a bowl of oatmeal and an apple, along with a few glasses of water. The crew was talking as usual, but when her eyes met Yung's she knew he understood and would act accordingly to make sure things when smoothly today without Kai's intervention. Practice for when they were in Ba Sing Se, too.

She took a deep breath as she walked back down to their room, trying to remind herself to be patient with him and with herself. Kai was in the same place she'd left him in, breathing so quietly she couldn't tell whether he was sleeping or not, as she ate at their desk by the wall, before moving back to slip under the covers with him, leaving his glass of water on their nightstand and deciding to pass the time with reading.

A good four chapters in of silence, he shifted, turning over and resting his head in her lap. Jinora let her palm fall across the side of his head, lightly stroking her fingers through his hair as she continued to read, pausing occasionally to look at him. His eyelids were barely open, the dark circles under his eyes more pronounced than usual. She didn't speak, knowing by now that he preferred the quiet on days like this, and continued reading, her fingers running gently through his hair, brushing his temple.

Another few chapters later, he sat up and reached across her for the glass of water, and drained it, before settling back down and she resumed carding her fingers through his hair. He only left the bed once to go to the bathroom, before curling up next to her again.

"Thank you," he said softly, voice rough from disuse. Jinora smiled gently.

"You're always welcome, love. Can I ask how you're feeling?"

"A little hungry."

"It'll be lunch soon. You want to go yourself, or for me to bring you something?"

"Can you bring me something?"

Jinora nodded. "Of course. Some cookies too?"

A hint of a smile crept over his lips. "Yes please."

Jinora's smile grew, and she pressed a quick kiss to his forehead. "Be back soon, then, love."

This time when she came back, he had moved to sitting up against their pillows. He even seemed a bit more awake while he ate, more slowly than she did, and he was silent until she finished eating.

"How was your night?" he asked.

Jinora paused, letting her spoon drop back into her empty soup bowl. "I slept okay." She reached up to play with the ends of his hair; he'd let the shaven sides of his hair fill in, and the look suited him as much as the old haircut had. "You?"

"I slept okay," he echoed. "I think… the thing with Kuvira shook me up more than I realized. At the mansion I was okay because I was focusing on you, but…"

Jinora rested her other hand on his chest. "It's okay to be scared."

He shook his head. "I'm not scared, I… or maybe a little, but mostly, I think I'm angry? Angry, and scared, that you couldn't leave, because you were too closely affiliated with me. What if I get charged for something I actually did do, when I was younger, like the massacre, and then when we're married you—"

"Shh. Kai, I know what I'm getting myself into. And I'm okay with it. I'm more than okay with it. There will...always be people, finding reasons to try and tear me, or you and I, down. Maybe it'd be different, if I wasn't with a former pirate. But they'd all try to get the same thing. But with you, I'm happy. I don't think about those people. I just think about you, and us, and I know I'm safe. I know I'm loved." She kissed his jaw. "And no one knows about the Quil incident outside of my family and yours, and none of us will ever tell. You're safe."

"And rationally, I know that, but deep down… my life is so good right now, and I feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. That something else will wedge between us and take you away from me."

Her brow furrowed as their eyes met. "Is that why you're coming with me to Ba Sing Se? Because you're afraid?"

He shook his head again. "No, that's because I want to support you, but I do—feel torn apart, because on one hand, I know like with Kuvira, you'd be safer if we weren't together, but I'm also terrified of losing you, and I—I feel so selfish."

"You're not. Because I never want to be without you. And I know I'm safe, I know how to protect myself, and you protect me. That's why I'm not afraid, even though I'm doing all of these new things. It's why I'm not afraid walking alone at night anymore, or why I'm not afraid of raising a family out here—you make me safe. You make me brave. And you are by far the most selfless man I've ever known."

Kai curled into her. "You make my demons quiet. I love you."

Jinora wrapped her arms around him, kissing his brow. "You helped me realize I had ones to confront. I love you, too." She rested her chin on his head as he buried his face in her chest, holding her close.

"These days...aren't great," he admitted quietly. "But you make them easier to manage. I...I'm sorry if they never truly end."

"You don't have anything to apologize for. And I don't care if they never end. I love you. Every part of you. You don't need to be fixed, because you're not broken. You're beautiful, and kind. So kind." She went back to stroking his hair, and he settled next to her, his breathing evening out until he was at peace enough to fall asleep. Jinora smiled softly to herself, holding him closer as she closed her eyes.

She felt bad for waking him up later, when she couldn't put off going pee any longer and had to slip away, but Kai wrapped his arms around her when she came back, nuzzling into her neck with a faint smile. Her heart swelled, and she buried her face in his shoulder, running her hands down his back and tracing his scars.

"I love you," she whispered, "forever and always."

"I love you too, Jin," he croaked, and she pressed a faint kiss to his shoulder.

Not all days were good. But they didn't have to be, as long as they still had each other.

###

"I'm so glad you could come see us."

Tullik and Aika were able to get their house back in Ba Sing Se, keeping their smaller one in Republic City as well for more ease when traveling between the two cities. They still had some of their old furniture, and some new ones, all decorated with handmade throw pillows and quilts. The tea was better than Jinora remembered, light and aromatic as she sipped from her cup.

"You were the first people we wanted to see when we first moved back," said Jinora. The university had welcomed her with open arms, her and Kai snagging a small apartment in a mostly student filled district, after a summer of getting the crew settled back in Republic City. They still had unpacking to do, but had been alright with putting the rest of it off once they'd set up the bed and unpacked the books.

"We were looking forward to the next time we could see you," Aika said, glancing at Kai. "It's...nice, to have a less high-pressure setting, to be able to catch up."

"It is," Kai agreed, with a slight smile. "Um, how's the move back been? Jinora said you really liked this house."

"We did, and we have a little more room, now that Misun is staying in Republic City. We have two guest rooms now, since the other was used for her to store some of her things."

"Is...is she doing okay?"

"She...likes the atmosphere of the city," said Aika. "It suits her. And it's easier for her to expand her investigation."

Misun had taken on the task of looking for Kai's father and sister. He was relieved it wasn't something he had to do himself, for as much as he wanted to find the latter, devoting more of his life to it stung after he'd so recently started to learn how to let the trauma of losing her go.

Kai took a sip of his tea. "Well… let me know if she finds anything."

"We will," Tullik said. "And how have the two of you been settling in?"

"We've been settling in just fine," Kai said, his smile growing more easy. "It's nice, living next to so many cafes and street vendors. It's like a little bit of both our upbringings in one place."

"We're still unpacking, but we have a few weeks before I start teaching," Jinora said. "Which equals plenty of time. Mostly we're just having fun exploring our neighbourhood, although it's nice to eat in for once."

"And the crew and Yung are alright?" Tullik asked.

"They're fine," Kai said, grinning. "Enjoying the most downtime they've ever had in their lives, mostly."

Tullik smiled. "Let me know if any of 'em get restless, we're always happy to have a few of them over whenever they want to travel again."

"Thank you, they'll all appreciate the offer, though we wouldn't want to impose any more than we already have."

"Nonsense, it's the least we could do for our grandson's crew."

Kai's smile grew soft. "I'm still getting used to that title," he admitted quietly.

"A good sort of getting used to?" Aika asked gently, and Kai nodded.

"Yeah. It's...still taking some adjusting. But it's nice. And you're both so nice. I... _like_ , having blood family. I… when I finally go back to Omashu, and go back to the house I lived in, and… where my mom's grave is, I want you both to be there with me. And…" Aunt didn't sound right, yet, but the offer was important. "Misun can come too, of course, if she wants."

Aika smiled, her eyes soft and brimming with tears that she blinked back. "We'd like that very much, Kai. Thank you."

Kai turned to Jinora, taking her hand. "And you'll come too, eventually."

"Whenever you want." Jinora gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

It was only on the way home, after they stayed late into the afternoon, that Jinora said, "Are you sure you want me to go? I thought the first time you visited your mother's grave, you wanted to be alone."

Kai gave her a sad smile. "At the time, I think I just wanted to be alone, period. Or it's what I thought I deserved." He squeezed her hand. "I know better now."

"You really want this?"

Kai nodded thoughtfully. "I do. I mean, you're my family, too. And...she would've loved to meet my future wife."

Jinora smiled softly. "She would have been so proud of you," she murmured.

He leaned in and kissed her briefly. "Thank you, love. Now let's go home."

###

Home consisted of a two bedroom, one bathroom flat about a ten minute walk from the university, on the ninth floor of the building. It had a little balcony and been furnished ahead of time (one of the perks of both of their incomes pooling together) and they moved in three weeks before her teaching prep would start, with another month until classes.

There was a bathtub, which was something Kai had only ever experienced when living with the Gyatsos, and they had a couple couches, a dining area, and a pretty nice kitchen. Their bedroom and ensuite was spacious, enough for them to each have their own dresser, although Jinora took up most of the closet.

What mattered most, of course, was that Jinora was there with him. He got used to her coming home every day, often at different times depending on what her teacher's prep had entailed that day, and she got used to finding him in the guest bedroom that also doubled as a study, bent over records. He used his connections with Otaku and Tenzin to get some information about the slave camps on the eastern coast, and more illegal activity going on in the city. Tenzin had never said it, of course, in the letter sent to confirm that Kai could look at the papers, but Kai had a feeling Misun had vouched for him, if only because it would lead to getting justice for her sister on a bigger scale.

When she got home, though, they set work aside, to go shopping for groceries or to go eat at a restaurant a few blocks away and talk about their day.

Kai couldn't deny that seeing Jinora out of her usual clothes—simple sailing dresses, blouses and leggings, or nicer, layered gowns among her family and high society—and in professional blouses and pants made her look more grown up, like they were more adults getting ready to start their life together.

It also made her look far sexier, especially when she wore pencil skirts, but that was besides the point.

He couldn't tell if Jinora noticed this, as it took a few weeks due to their schedules for her to come home, and kick off her shoes, and before Kai could even get out a "How was your day?" she unbuttoned her blouse, tugging it off to reveal a thin lacy black bra.

He sat up straight, eyebrows arching. "Um, babe?"

She let her blouse hang off her pinky finger, as she slinked towards him. "I've realized it's been almost three weeks, since I've been so tired after work recently, and you've been a dear, not mentioning anything, so I figured I should treat you." She reached up and undid her bun, her dark tresses falling over her shoulder as she placed a hand on his. "What do you say we enjoy ourselves tonight baby?"

Kai smiled at her, and reached up to tuck her hair behind her ears. He never wanted her to feel like she owed him anything, especially not sex. "Not that I don't love the idea, babe, but if you're tired, I can go run you a bath. It's okay. Really."

A line appeared in her brow, her sultry look faltering. "You don't…?"

"I'm fine without it, love. I know you've been tired; I have been too, actually."

He had expected relief, maybe, or self-assured confidence that she wanted him, but her hair fell back in front of her face as she moved her head and straightened up. "Oh, alright." Her tone was strange, as she moved away from him towards the bathroom. "Thanks. I'll go run a bath then. You're okay with making dinner?"

"Sure thing." They had already decided on pasta for dinner that morning.

During dinner she talked about her work, same as always, so Kai figured she really had been tired and had enjoyed her bath, like usual. There were bags under her eyes from her often early mornings (who knew he'd be the one sleeping in for a change?) so he was glad at least it was Friday, and she'd have the rest of the weekend to relax and recharge. Maybe they even would have sex.

He had missed it, of course, but it wasn't a priority unless they were both feeling up for it. He was able to get himself off quickly during the day whenever he felt like it, always imagining her. Maybe the image of her in that lingerie would be what he would think of tomorrow.

He showered after dinner, so she was already in bed by the time he came out. Her body was curved towards their balcony, facing the windows and drawn up curtains and away from him, and Kai made sure to keep quiet as he dried and pulled on fresh pants in case she was already asleep.

He settled into bed beside her, curving his body slightly towards hers and pressing a chaste kiss to her cheek. He was laying back down on his pillow when she said, sounding very small, "Kai?"

His eyes flickered to the curve of her face, showing over her shoulder. He laid his hand on her hip, coaxing her towards him. "Something wrong, Jin?"

She curved in further on herself, and he propped himself up on his elbow to look at her. Her hands were bunching up their sheets. "Am I not… sexy, to you, anymore?"

He blinked. "What?" Whatever he'd been expecting—homesickness, fear about her new job, maybe—it hadn't been that. Kai turned her towards him, and she avoided his eyes. "Why would you think that?" he murmured, brow furrowing.

Jinora didn't let go of their sheets. "Well I just—I came to you today in lingerie and you just turned me away—"

"I know you've been tired recently—"

"And you never try to distract me when I'm working, anymore—"

"I thought you didn't want me to."

"And recently, whenever we've have had sex in the past few months, it's been tender. About intimacy, not passion, and…" Jinora's eyes darted between his and the space of wall behind his shoulder. "I don't… Sometimes, when people are together for a long time, it becomes… boring. Like, a chore that you don't mind doing but also wouldn't choose first, which can be fine for other people but it's never been like that with us before, and I can't help but think that you might be bored too, and—"

"Hey, hey." Kai cupped her face. "Jin, I could never get bored of you. I'm just concerned about you, and I never want you to feel like sex is something you owe me. You've been so busy lately. I'm okay with holding off when you're tired, but that doesn't mean I'm bored, or that our relationship is something I feel forced to do when we do have sex. Okay? Do you know how many times I've had to get myself off lately because of those pencil skirts you've been wearing?" He grinned when Jinora gave him a small smile.

"I remembered you mentioning you liked them," she said quietly.

"When you came home today, I very much wanted to have sex with you. Like, so much. But I wanted to make sure you wanted it too. You are very sexy to me, Jinora, and I'm sorry I let you doubt that."

Jinora flushed, and she pressed her forehead against his. "So we're not...getting stale?"

"Us? Never. And maybe we'll have to stoke the fire again every so often, but I'm kind of looking forward to it. And as for our tenderness…?"

"It's not that I don't enjoy it," she said quickly. "I just—since it's all we've been having it feels like we're having sex to be with each other, not because we just really want to have sex. Does that make sense?"

"Tenderness makes sex a way to connect," he clarified. "But you want passion, and roughness, too. Is that it?"

"Yes." She nodded meekly. "I...I like it when we have both. When we connect, but sometimes it's not always tender. I...it's hard to explain."

"I think I know what you mean." He took her hands, prying them away from their sheets. "But show me anyway? The way you first showed me how to touch you."

Jinora's eyes widened. "Now?"

He wrapped an arm around her waist. "Why not? Tomorrow's Saturday. We can go for as long as we'd like, tonight. And earlier today, I wanted to tear your lingerie off with my teeth."

Jinora twisted in his arms, pleased when he pulled her closer. "Did you now?" she murmured.

"Mhmm." His lips found her neck, biting lightly. "Now, why I don't I show you how sexy I find you?"

* * *

She curled into his side when they were finally finished, and he wrapped an arm around her, tucking her into his side. She rested her head on his chest, listening to the rapid beat of his heart, her shallow breathing in sync with his. "God," she breathed.

He let his fingers lightly graze her lower arm, traveling up to her elbow and then down again. "Convinced?" he murmured, his cheek pressed against her head.

"Yeah." She placed a hand on his chest. "Thank you."

He curled his other hand over hers. "Of course… next time, tell me sooner? I mean, I'll do my best to make sure there is no next time, but…" He gave a little shrug. "I'm sure I'll slip up here and there."

"We both will. It's okay." She thought for a moment, and then said, "Is there anything you're insecure about I should know about?"

"Nothing you haven't heard already," he assured her. "But if anything ever comes up, I'll tell you."

"You sure? Anything else you wanna talk about?"

He shook his head. "Just...you'll be honest if you ever don't want to have sex, right? It...it means a lot to me, and I never ever want you to feel pressured, or that you ever have to force yourself."

Jinora smiled softly. "When I bring it up, or ask for it, I always want it wholeheartedly. I promise. If I don't want it, I'll tell you. I trust you. And you don't feel pressure from me, do you? I mean, I know I'm usually the initiator, but…"

"I don't," he said, smiling more easily. "Never. Okay?"

She pressed her smile to his chest. "Okay… I should probably go pee and you should probably clean up."

"Okay." Kai pressed a quick kiss to the top of her head before she got up, and as she went to the bathroom, he grabbed a washcloth, wetting it in a nearby basin, before wiping along his thighs. When Jinora got back, he wiped her clean as well, before setting the used washcloth next to the basin. "Better?" he checked, settling down beside her.

"Fantastic." She kissed his jaw. "I really like having our own place… to be as loud as we want for once."

"I don't remember you trying too hard to be quiet on the _Waterbender_ ," he teased.

She swatted him lightly on the chest. "You know what I mean babe."

He smiled, burying his face in her hair. "I missed this," he admitted.

He had to shuffle though, when she tilted her head up to look at him, her face scrunched up. "What do you mean?"

"Having you all to myself."

Jinora smiled softly. "You always have me, though."

"I know. But we've both been busy lately—a good busy, especially now that you're teaching—but these moments have become rarer. It makes me appreciate them more."

"Hmm. How about we make a pact, then? Every three weeks we make sure we pick a day where we do something just for us."

Kai smiled. "Okay. Thank you."

She rested her head back on his chest. "We'll have pages and pages of vows by the time we get married."

"You say that like it's a problem," he chuckled.

"I never said it was," she said, her smile growing. "But we might spend an hour of the ceremony making promises we've already kept in private."

"Our guests will know what they're signing up for," he grinned. "I certainly do. A lifetime of happiness with you."

Her heart melted. She pressed a kiss to his jaw, drawing closer. "I love you so much," she murmured.

"I love you too." He stroked her hair, a sign that he was getting sleepy and wanted to sooth her into sleep too, and Jinora closed her eyes with a smile, resting her head on his chest for the final time that night.

Her teaching was wonderful, but it was Kai that made her love Ba Sing Se with her whole heart.


	27. The Storm

Chapter Twenty-Seven: The Storm

There was a reason he hated dealing with the police.

It wasn't because he was once a pirate, or even because the police had been cruel when he was young. It was because they were so damn useless. Getting used to the city had taken its time—he'd never been somewhere that was simultaneously so big and small but also so crowded nonetheless, but he liked the streets, liked the people. So long as they didn't get in his way.

The police took forever to get the documents he needed, the records taken of the eastern coast slave camps, of ships coming in and out of port that could be related to smuggling and human trafficking. It took weeks for a request to be processed and longer to procure the document, and it was starting to drive him a little crazy.

He felt Jinora's hands slide under his arms, settling on his chest when she came up behind him in her robe, kissing his cheek. He'd gone back to work after dinner. "Come to bed love," she coaxed.

"I still have a few more reports to go over," he mumbled reluctantly.

"You can't do it in the morning?" She smoothed her hands over his chest. "You know it'll be a few days until you get new ones to look over."

He sighed. "I've just been frustrated. Dealing with law enforcement is hard, when they're so ridiculous."

"I know baby," she said sympathetically. "But you've gotten good work done so far, and you'll only be more frustrated if you're tired. Please?"

He glanced back, smiling softly. "Okay." He let her pull him to his feet, his smile growing when she pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "Thanks for taking care of me."

Jinora took his hand, guiding him back to their bedroom. "It's what we do." She helped him undress, removing his shirt and smiling when he wrapped his arms around her when she went to walk away and fold it over a hanger in their closet, his hands toying with the sash of her robe. "Yes?" she hummed.

"Y'know, I'm not that tired," he said, and Jinora laughed, turning in his arms to face him. His hands moved to her ass instead, as he gripped it. "What do you say you tire me out?"

"Mm, you know I'm always happy to help with that," she said, looping her arms around his neck. She kissed him again, more slowly this time, pressing her body to his. She let out a squeal against his mouth when he picked her up, carrying her over to their bed.

"Have I ever told you," he said in between kisses, "how much I love this robe of yours?"

"I wouldn't mind hearing it more often." She looked up at him with bright eyes as he laid her down on their bed. She leaned up as he leaned down, their lips meeting in the middle as she kissed him longingly. "God I love your mouth," she mumbled.

He smiled when their lips met again. "And I love yours, but I think we could be using them for better purposes?"

Jinora smirked knowingly at him, smoothing her hands down his chest. "You have been so stressed lately."

"Go on then, love," he cooed. "Tire me out."

And that she did, before he returned the favour.

###

After that evening, he never wanted to have to visit the police department again.

He knew he'd have to, in order to get more files and reports, and it was almost enough to make him wonder why he'd taken this up altogether. Why he didn't just try to find Quil the old-fashioned way. Working within the law sucked, with all the paperwork he had to fill out to get access to files that weren't given out to any random civilian—for good reason, he knew, but it was still frustrating. Surely the police department in Republic City didn't have this many rules? It was just Ba Sing Se being Ba Sing Se, which was to say, determined to have the biggest stick up their butt possible…

He fit his keys into the hole in their door and opened it up, walking inside. Jinora would have gotten home two hours ago and she always locked the door after her.

"Hey Jin, I'm home." There was no reply. He walked into their kitchen, finding that the stove was on, but she was nowhere to be found. "Jin?" Why wasn't she responding? Was she not here? But then why was the stove on? He hadn't checked if the door had been unlocked before using his key, had barely paid attention—what if it had been unlocked, what if someone had walked in—" _Jinora_!"

What if someone had broken in again and taken her away? Kidnapped her like the last time she was in Ba Sing Se and he wasn't there to protect her? Panic tightened his throat. _No no no no—_

He looked up as their bedroom door opened with a loud creak, and ran towards it.

"Kai?" Jinora barely managed to get out his name before he was slamming into her, hugging her so tightly it knocked the wind out of her. "Kai?"

"Gods, you scared me," he hissed, clinging to her. "I called out to you, why didn't you—"

"I was out on our little balcony reading," she said, brow furrowing, but her hand came up and dragged itself through his hair anyway, soothing. "Kai, what—"

"I thought I'd lost you again," he said, his voice breaking. "I thought—I thought someone had taken you again—"

She paused, as understanding was ushered in, before she held him closer. "Shh, Kai. I always lock the door. Nothing can get me." She held him tight. "It's okay. I'm okay."

She felt him sigh against her neck, slowly composing himself. "I just… next time, please leave a note?" he croaked.

"Of course," she said softly. "I'm sorry for scaring you."

He shook his head, simultaneously nuzzling into the crook of her neck. "No, it's my...issue. I just wouldn't mind a bit of help with it."

"Of course. It's okay, to be scared." She pressed a kiss to his temple. "I'll write a note, if I'm outside, next time. I promise."

He still held her by the shoulders. "Okay. Thank you." He slowly released her with a slightly vacant look in his eyes as he moved to their bedroom after giving her a weak smile, planning to strip and shower the way he usually did after coming home. Jinora followed him, wrapping her arms around him from behind once his shirt was off.

"May I join you?"

His smile grew a little more genuine. "Weren't you making dinner?"

She pressed her lips between his shoulder-blades. "Turned the stove off. I'm all yours."

His smile grew, and he took her hands in his, turning towards her. "Come on in, then."

They both shed their clothes while they let the water warm. Jinora spent most of that time kissing his scars while he kept her cradled in his arms, until they stepped under the water and she ran her hands through his now wet hair.

When they made love under the steady stream of water, it was tender, and this time, Jinora didn't mind.

###

Kai did his best to hide his discontent, Jinora knew, but she could still see it. He'd never lived in a city like this before, especially not with anything but letter writing and police research to occupy his time. He went down to the docks sometimes, even if it was a bus ride away (he'd never taken the bus before either) to pick up odd jobs, to do the labour he'd grown up with. He usually made dinner, since she often got back late from her lectures, classes, and other appointments. Listened attentively while she glowed, happy with her students and the progress she was making, the good results she was getting. They went to the theatre and went dancing whenever her schedule would allow it (which, admittedly, wasn't often) and as much as they both enjoyed those nights, she knew they were too far in between to sustain him.

Her job meant they couldn't go home for Thanksgiving either, since the trip would take too many days of the week to get there. The crew and her family sent a ton of letters, but she could tell it only, in a way, made him miss them more. Whenever they went on walks, now, after four months of living in the city, he always lingered anyplace they could see the city's harbour and sparkling waters, staring out at the horizon.

And beyond her discontent at his discontent was the guilt bubbling her stomach as well. He was here for her. As much as his research was important, he also could have done it feasibly from anywhere instead of a many ruled and rigid landlocked city. He was here for her.

"Kai?" she said softly, one Saturday night when they were lying in bed, facing each other. "Are you unhappy?"

He smiled just at the sight of her, reaching over to tuck her hair behind her eyes. "No, no, I'm not unhappy."

Jinora pursed her lips. "That's not the same as being happy though, is it?"

"Jin, I'm fine. Really…" His smile faltered. "Where is this coming from?"

"You don't seem happy, here."

"I'm perfectly fine here. It's where you are. I've just needed time to get used to it, is all."

"Kai...if you want to go back, I'll go with you."

Kai frowned. "No, we're—you've been doing so well with teaching, and you love being a professor. We're staying. I'm happy. It's okay."

Jinora scooted closer, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "I know you try to hide it, but I see it, whenever you look at the sea. You miss it. You miss everyone else back home."

"Well yeah, of course I miss it, but that doesn't mean—" He sighed, his frown deepening. "Jinora, I'm _fine_. The police department is finally starting to chug along at a better pace, and we'll be going back for the Spirits Festival and we'll have a good time and celebrate New Years, and then we'll come back home, here. We don't need to go anywhere."

"It's just… how long are we going to stay here? Are you going to be happy if we're still here in five years?" Her throat tightened. She had only signed on for a year, but knew they were willing to take her on for a couple more years. Likely more. Maybe, in a couple decades, she could even make tenure.

Kai looked at her, his brow furrowing as he considered the reality of her proposition. He paused. "I will be as long as you're happy here," he said slowly.

"I don't want you to have to make any more sacrifices for me."

"It's not a sacrifice—"

"Yes, it is, because yes my happiness matters, but yours does too, Kai. Don't lie to me—"

His eyebrows rose. "I am not lying—Look, Jinora, it's late, and I'm tired, and I really don't want to talk about this. Can we please just go to sleep?"

Her bottom lip trembled, and rolled onto her back, glaring up at the ceiling. "Fine."

Kai sighed again, rolling his eyes. "Are you honestly upset right now over this?" he said irritably.

She shot him a sharp look. "I'm upset because I _care_ about you, you prick. I'm upset because I don't want you to bury your feelings down and let them fester and then you end up resenting me in an attempt to keep me from resenting you, I—"

"I am not going to resent you," Kai snapped. "Is Ba Sing Se my favourite place in the world? No, but hardly anywhere is. But this is where you are and I want to be with you, so here I am, and I'm fine, okay? Maybe I'm not happy but I'm not _unhappy_ and that's good enough for now. Just lay off, Jinora."

"I don't want you to not be happy because of me—"

"It's not because of you, now lay off."

"If I wasn't here in Ba Sing Se you wouldn't be either, therefore if you're unhappy here it is because of me!"

"So what?" Kai said, his temper rising. "So I'm unhappy, so what then? I force you to quit your job that you love? I go back home on my own and we see how long that lasts until you accuse me of cheating on you again?" He regretted it as soon as he said it, but it was too late to take it back, even as his voice softened. "Jin—"

Jinora wiped furiously at her eyes, and slipped out of bed. "I'm going to go sleep on the couch," she said with a steely voice.

"Jinora, I didn't mean—look, c'mon, I'll sleep on the couch. You stay here."

She watched him with hard eyes as he shuffled around their room, grabbing a blanket and a t-shirt to pull on, and she turned away from him when she climbed back in their bed.

"I'm sorry," Kai said softly, when he paused in their doorway, and neither of them said anything when he shut the door.

###

When Jinora crept out of her room that morning (grateful it was a weekend) it was to the smell of pancakes and coffee in the kitchen. She padded out of her bedroom in pink slippers that matched her worn-out but cozy housecoat (her robe was in the wash) and running a hand through her unruly hair to find Kai at work by the stove.

"Hey," he greeted, a tad cautiously. "How'd you sleep?"

"Fine," she said a little shortly, taking a seat on one of their countertop stools. "You?"

Kai looked away from the meal he was preparing, moving his attention onto her. Judging by the bags under his eyes he hadn't gotten much sleep. Was it selfish she hoped it wasn't just because the couch wasn't very comfortable for anything other than napping?

"Look, Jin," he said imploringly, "I'm sorry. I was just angry, but I was way out of line. You didn't deserve that."

"I know," she said.

He winced. "Yeah, I probably deserved that. Can—would you let me explain myself?"

"Not right now."

"So you don't want to talk about this?"

She scowled at him. "I was the one who wanted to talk last night, and look how that turned out."

"Well yeah, but—"

"But what, Kai?"

"It only turned out that way because I—I didn't want to disappoint you," he said, his voice growing quiet. "Or let you down, or…" He cast his eyes around, and took the kettle off before it could whistle. "Fine, I'll—go figure out what I'm working on today."

Jinora pursed her lips and exhaled before he could go. "Kai, wait."

He stopped, glancing back at her. "Yeah?"

"I don't like what you said," she said. "You know I've been working on my jealousy, you know how hard I worked to not jump to conclusions or to be paranoid about people leaving me. You know I've been working just as hard as you, and you still threw that back in my face. I haven't gotten jealous for years. Whenever you're out, I know you're probably talking to other girls. I've had to train myself to not mind, I've been working so hard to believe in you, and…" Jinora swallowed. "It was so unfair, what you said."

"I know. It was a low blow and completely unfair to you, and I—I'm so sorry."

"And when you broke up with me..." she said, her voice wavering. "You don't know what that was like, you making the choice for both of us and it hurt _so much_ —it hurt so much to watch you give up on me. Yes, I should have trusted you more, but you also never had to see me give up on you."

Kai's face fell. "Jinora, I… I didn't know you felt all that."

"Of course I did." She rubbed her arm. "I do. And, if you're not happy here, I—I don't want to give you another reason to leave me."

"Jin…" He stepped closer, stopping when she didn't move. "I… I just didn't want to get in the way of you doing what you loved. I don't ever want to make you decide between me and what you love."

She wiped her eyes. "You are what I love. You need to get used to the fact that you're one of my priorities now, okay? You _are_ my priority. I can teach, or tutor, anywhere. I can even teach from the ship, become one of those travelling scholars. I could even teach the crew. It doesn't matter where I am, I just want to be with you."

"And that's how I feel about you. That's why I'm here. I am here for you," he acknowledged, "but I'm also here for me. Because I can't stand being without you. And breaking up with you and staying away from you was the hardest thing I've ever done." His voice broke. "And I don't ever want to do that again."

Jinora wiped at her eyes. "I still need some time, I...what you said really hurt me. But...we can start with breakfast."

"Okay," he said softly, his hands at his sides as if he didn't know what to do with them. "Can—can I…?"

Jinora nodded, pursing her lips as her eyes continued to water, and Kai pulled her into a hug. She didn't hug him back, but he decided it was enough that she was letting him hug her at all, as he slowly let go.

"I love you," he said softly, and then went to go make their tea and take their pancakes off before they got burnt on the bottom. He had already burned her badly enough after all. "You want berries on the side?" he asked, when she slid back onto one of the bar stools.

She nodded meekly. "Yes, please."

###

They made slow progress over the next few days. Kai slept on the couch and they made quiet conversation. He made her favourite foods for each meal, read her favourite books to her at the end of each day so she could unwind, things that he was already mostly doing before their fight, but still. It couldn't hurt to keep it up.

An angry storm brewed outside the Friday after their fight, and Kai closed the curtains on a bright bolt of lightning forking across the dark grey sky.

"You gonna be okay?" he asked. She had never liked storms very much.

Jinora glanced uneasily at the covered window. "I think so."

"Alright. I'm right outside if you need me." He turned to go to the couch, when Jinora grabbed his arm.

"Sleep in the bed, tonight," she said, looking away from him.

"You sure?" he said quietly, and she nodded, still avoiding his eyes. "Okay. Whatever you need."

Her hand dropped to his, and she held on firmly as they walked back into the bedroom. The thunder cracked outside again and Jinora squeezed her eyes shut, and Kai's hands found her upper arms, rubbing gently. "Hey, it's okay," he soothed, voice soft and warm and she just wanted to melt into it. "It can't hurt you. I won't let anything hurt you."

Tears pricked at Jinora's eyes. "It's so stupid," she mumbled, and Kai shushed her gently.

"No. It's okay to be afraid. Okay? I was scared of storms too, I just… had to get over it, because I was alone. I'm glad you don't have to get over it, okay? Everything's fine. You're safe."

Jinora sniffled. "You were scared of storms?"

He nodded. "They used to rattle the orphanage like nothing else."

"How'd you get over it?"

"I was...I was more scared of getting hit for crying than of the thunder." He swallowed. "But you don't have to get over it. It's okay. I'll try to help you get to sleep, and if you can't sleep, then...then we'll read some more. It's alright."

"Kai…"

He smiled softly. "I'm glad I get to help you through this. We're all scared of something."

"It seems I'm scared of more things than you are."

He shook his head. "You're scared of heights and thunderstorms. That's only probably two more fears than what I have."

There was another clap of thunder, and she leapt into his arms, before settling. "And what are you scared of, exactly?"

"Losing you," he said, before the lightning followed. "Hurting you. Disappointing you."

She held him tighter. "Kai—"

"The night we broke up, I wasn't just angry because of...because of what you said. I was angry because I knew we weren't working and if it was just going to hurt me, I wouldn't have cared, but it was hurting you too, and I couldn't have that, and—I was angry because somehow I wanted you to find the answer that could stop me from letting you go but I—I couldn't give up on you. Not really." He buried his nose in her hair. "I could never give up on you. I love you more than anything. I always have. I'm sorry that I've ever treated you, or made you feel, like I didn't."

Jinora was shaking slightly, and he held her closer, gently stroking her hair.

"Jin? Are you alright?" he murmured, thinking maybe it was the storm, or the cold. Their apartment had a heater but it was never super warm at night with a flat this high up in their building.

"I just—" Her voice was thick and quiet. "I'm sorry I was mad at you."

"No, don't be sorry. I...I really hurt you, with what I said. There's no excuse for it, and I'll never say it again."

"I just…" She let her head rest against his chest, and she nosed into his shirt. "I just want things to be easy."

"They will be," he said. "And until they are, things can always be better, remember?"

"You think so?"

"Yeah. And...and relationships are never truly easy, you know? But we'll get stronger. We'll get better at talking. We already are. I know I messed up, and I'm sorry, but… how are we going to work through it, then?"

"Stay with me tonight," she said. "And then we'll talk about it in the morning."

"Okay." He gently pried her hands away from him. "We'll quickly get in our night clothes, and then get right into bed. C'mon."

They did what he said, Jinora scurrying under the covers as quickly as she could, in between claps of thunder and flashes of lightning, heavy rain distanced only because their roof was so many floors above. Kai opened up his arms and she tucked herself into him, more aware than ever how much she'd missed having this with him over the past week. His side of the bed had felt so lonely.

"I missed this," she mumbled into his chest.

"I missed you," Kai responded, gently stroking his thumbs over her arms, keeping her close to him.

"Kai?" Her voice was soft.

"Hmm?"

"I don't want you to sleep on the couch anymore."

Kai smiled. "Thank you, Jin."

"Your back was getting sore?" she guessed, running a hand over it.

"Well yeah, but… it means we're making progress. And I love you and I miss you, and I miss sharing a bed with you. It's weird when you're not there, and I like having you close by."

She smiled softly. "I like having you close by, too. I still plan on marrying you, after all."

"Good."

She raised her head to look at him. "You didn't doubt I would still marry you, did you?"

"I… I don't know," he said, lowering his eyes. "It… may have been a thought in the back of my head, y'know, like a worse case scenario, but I knew...I figured we would figure things out. I—I'm just as scared of you leaving me as you are of me leaving you, I guess."

"I guess we were both being silly, weren't we?"

"Maybe. But it's normal, I guess, to be a little scared of that. Even if it won't happen."

"It's not gonna happen." She curled back into him. "The thunder can't hurt me, and we're never leaving each other."

"Technically, thunder can't hurt anyone. It's the lightning that does," he said, half-teasing. She shoved him in the arm.

"You're an idiot," she mumbled, unable to suppress a smile.

"But I'm your idiot," he said. "Who really needs to get you a ring."

Jinora snorted, but smiled, leaning in to kiss him, and he paused against her lips when he realized it was the first one they'd shared since their fight, before he kissed her back a tad desperately. He wove his fingers through her hair, holding her close, and he rested his forehead against hers when they pulled apart.

"I love you," he whispered. "So much."

She snuggled closer. "I love you too."

Even with the storm, she managed to fall asleep feeling safe, knowing that they would be more than okay now that she had his arms around her again.

###

Jinora loved teaching at Ba Sing Se University, for the most part. The students were smart and kind, and she always had at least one student come into her office during office hours. She even liked most of the faculty.

Of course, there always had to be at least one exception.

There was a knock at her door, but before she could answer, the door swung open, and she knew immediately who it was. She frowned. "Mixon, what do you want?"

"Simply wanted to say you look splendid today, in your yellow dress," he said with a simpering smile and slicked back hair.

Jinora wrinkled her nose. Her said dress was one that Kai had gotten for her, which she had told Mixon, but he hadn't believed she was engaged with no ring on her finger. "It's a nice sentiment but really Mixon, I have work I need to finish."

"You're always working."

"Well, yes," she said shortly. "I'm here to do my job. And then I go home to my fiancé." Hopefully if she kept repeating it the message would eventually sink in.

"A few of us are going out for lunch," he said. "Wanna join?"

"No thank you, my fiancé's making dinner."

Mixon frowned. "What kind of fiancé doesn't get a ring, anyway?"

Jinora tugged the promise ring she was wearing on the thin chain around her neck from beneath her collar, letting it glitter in the light before dropping it back underneath her clothes. "He gave me this years ago, and he'll be getting me another ring soon enough."

"Well, just because you have a fiancé doesn't mean you can't come out with us."

"I'm fine. Thank you."

Mixon scowled, and then slinked away, shoulders slumping. It was with a frown that Jinora knew that he'd be back tomorrow. It almost made her miss the way things had been back in high school, when most of the boys had thought her too stuffy and quiet to take interest in.

All of her annoyance was gone though, when she got home and Kai scooped her up in her arms before she'd even put her bag on the floor, kissing her firmly until he pulled away. She smiled up at him, wrinkling her nose. "What was that for?" she asked, stepping away (reluctantly) to shirk off her jacket and tuck her bag away by the coat stand.

"I missed you," he said simply, still grinning.

"I was only gone for seven hours."

He brought her back into his arms. "Tell me about it." He kissed her again, more briefly this time, before he drew away again. "So, how was your day?"

"Tiring," she said, looping her arms around his neck. "But better now."

He rested his hand on the small of her back, gently stroking his thumb. "Lots of work, or?"

Jinora sighed softly. "There's a fellow professor who doesn't quite believe I'm engaged."

Kai's face scrunched up in confusion. "Oh, so do they make fun of you, or—"

"He flirts with me, Kai," she said flatly.

An angry glint flashed in his eyes. "Oh."

"It's not anything bad, just annoying," she assured him.

Kai took her waist in his hands. "It's cold enough to start wearing scarfs, by now, isn't it?" It was mid-December, after all.

The sudden change of topic caught Jinora off guard. "Oh, I suppose so, but—"

He ducked his head and kissed her neck. "You're going to need one tomorrow." He nipped at her skin, and Jinora let out a soft sigh, melting into him. Kai edged down the collar of her blouse, biting at more flesh as his hands lifted her thighs and she happily wrapped them around his hips as he carried her across their living room and over to their bedroom.

Jinora had hardly ever seen him with such a one track mind, not pausing to tease or coax praise the way he usually did, and instead roughly undressing her and himself as quickly as he could with a certain level of self control. He was quiet, other than a few impatient growls, and focused, rubbing his cock between her dripping folds once the last of their clothing was shed.

His mouth descended on her neck, sucking and biting, at the same time he slid into her and thrusted hard and deep and fast. Jinora let out a strangled moan, her thighs tightening around his hips as he plowed into her. She was almost coming when he suddenly stopped the thrust of his hips and straightened up, looking down at her with dark, lovely eyes.

She wondered how many marks he'd left on her neck, but soon had her answer as her near-orgasm ebbed and he kissed every bruise he'd left on her. It didn't take long for him to come after that, but he kept himself supported above her, once his breathing slowly evened out.

Jinora ran a hand through his hair, smiling with flushed cheeks. "I like it when you're jealous," she said softly.

Kai exhaled through his nose, leaning down to kiss her cheek. "I'm not jealous," he growled, nosing against her jaw.

She puffed out a laugh. "Possessive, then, maybe? Whatever it is, I like it." She ran a hand down his back, between his shoulder blades. "I wouldn't mind you claiming me like this more often."

Kai softened. "If he keeps bothering you, tell me. One look at me should be enough to scare him shitless."

Jinora smiled, cupping his cheek. "He's annoying, but harmless. If anything makes me uncomfortable, I'll let you know."

"Good." He took her hand and tangled their fingers together, kissing the knuckle her wedding ring would rest above. "I love you. And if I'm ever too possessive, let me—"

"Kai, I'm pretty sure this is the first time you've ever been possessive in the ten years I've known you," she said. "You're fine, love. If anything, I wouldn't mind seeing it a bit more."

"Duly noted." He buried his face in her neck. "Hm, so what scarf are you wearing tomorrow?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe something yellow." She combed her hands through his hair, smiling. "You've always liked me in yellow."

"I have," he admitted. "But maybe something festive? Blue and white?"

She considered it, and then tugged a little on his hair, raising his head so he would look at her. "Speaking of festive, I've been thinking. The school is throwing a holiday party for the faculty, and I know prim rooms full of wealthy, stuffy people isn't your idea of fun but… It would mean a lot to me, if you came. As my date. What do you think?"

Kai smiled against her skin. "I'd love to. Because I love you. And maybe I can meet that annoying coworker of yours."

Jinora giggled softly. "And after that, if you want to leave early...we can leave and make our own fun."

He looked at her fondly. "You are adorable."

She wrinkled her nose at him. "So are you."

He pulled out of her, flopping beside her onto his back, knowing they had the rest of the night and evening stretching out ahead of him. "Y'know," he reminisced, "the first time I called you cute or adorable, you didn't like it very much."

"That first night you showed me the crow's nest?" she said, and he nodded. She rolled her eyes, smiling, and settled beside him. "Well, I hardly wanted the boy I was crushing on just to think I was cute."

He smiled softly, and pressed it to her temple. "I never thought you were just cute. In fact, that night, I started thinking that...that you were far more than just beautiful. And that I might want to do more than just kiss you."

Jinora smiled lazily, resting her chin on his chest to look at him. "Mm, and what did you want to do?"

She often teased him about his need for praise, but Kai was more than happy to give it back to her when the opportunity arose, like now, as he let his hands drift and map the expanse of her back. "Put my hands on you, mostly," he said. "You could say you were my first real sexual awakening, honestly."

Her smile grew as she curled into him. "You were mine, too," she said. "All those hours I watched you training… and you were so oblivious. You'd run up to me all sweaty and wipe your stupidly perfect brow with the hem of your t-shirt." She poked him in the forehead with a finger.

He grinned. "No wonder you always want to have sex after I'm finished sparring on deck."

Jinora laughed, and rolled off of him to stretch out her arms. "What can I say? I'm a woman who knows what I want and when I want it."

He laughed too, and poked her gently in the ribs. "Speaking of when, we should probably think about what we're doing for dinner tonight. It's almost six."

Jinora ran a hand through her hair. "Can't we order takeout?" she pouted. "Please? I'm finishing my marking up this weekend for midterms, but I can take my time with it. Tonight can be a lazy one."

He chuckled softly. "Alright. I'll go make the phone call, and put on pants when the doorbell rings?"

Jinora kissed his cheek. "Thanks, babe. Narook's Fast-Food Noodles?"

"With the veggie dumplings?" he said, smiling and rolling his eyes as he went to slip out of bed. "Only for the best for you, darling."

"I love you," she called, and his smile grew despite himself.

"I love you too."

###

Kai had only ever seen Ba Sing Se University from the outside, and it had always had that historical look, with long, thick columns and finely aged marble. So when Jinora took him into the liberal arts building, he hadn't expected to see such a modern interior, with polished wooden floors and walls, the wide windows looking more friendly from the inside. Small candles were lit everywhere, and decorations of blue and white were hung along the walls, and a long, rich blue carpet led the way to a lively lobby area, where several faculty were milling about, holding half-finished glasses of champagne.

Jinora's coworkers were well dressed, clearly well educated, but Kai put on his best and friendliest smile as Jinora introduced him, and they were all pleasant, as Jinora's good reputation seemed to extend to him. It was clear to see how well she got on with all of them, and how much they valued her hard work ethic. Pride swelled like the sea in his chest as he grinned at her by the refreshments table.

"They're...nice," he said, and Jinora laughed.

"Most of them. The ones I work with, anyway. People who like teaching are generally very nice, though some can be more detached, but they're still good teachers."

"You're doing so well here," he said, wrapping his arm around her waist. "I'm really proud of you."

Jinora's smile softened, and she leaned into him. "Thank you. Having you here has made everything...a little easier. So...thank you for staying here."

"I wouldn't be anywhere else but with you."

Jinora rested her head on his shoulder, smiling softly, before it faded as she caught a glimpse of Mixon walking towards them. Kai's hand tightened on her waist, and he pulled her closer.

"Is that the guy that keeps bothering you?" he asked in a low voice.

"Yeah," Jinora said.

Kai kissed the corner of her jaw. "You want me to scare him off?"

Jinora leaned into him. "Do it nicely," she murmured. She bit back a grin. "And keep holding onto me."

She had to have a little fun sometimes, didn't she?

Mixon approached them with less confidence than Jinora was used to seeing, and she had to bite back another smile. "Jinora," he greeted, managing a stiff smile, and Jinora smiled widely in response. "I assume this is that famous fiancé of yours?"

Kai held out his arm. "Pleasure," he said gruffly, his voice a little lower than normal, and Jinora bit her lip to keep from giggling. When Mixon took it, his expression stiffened, the handshake brief, but strong enough for Mixon to hold his hand limp to his side.

"Kai, this is Mixon," Jinora introduced. "Kai, honey, this is Mixon Monradi. He teaches war history."

"It's nice to finally meet you," Kai said, his eyes glinting, his smile growing a tad strained. "Jinora's told me so many things about you."

"O-oh? Has she?"

"Yep."

"Well, that's...nice."

"I'm glad I get to meet everyone, before we go back to Republic City for the holidays," Kai continued, kissing Jinora's jaw again. "That's where our families are, you see. Her parents, my crew. It's a big affair. We're gonna need a lot of chairs at the wedding." Kai glanced over Jinora's head, showing off his height. "Well, it was nice chatting, Mixon, but Jinora and I should probably say hello to everyone else. It was nice meeting you though."

"You too," Mixon said, and Kai steered Jinora away to a more isolated corner of the room.

Jinora burst into giggles, and then quieted under Kai's firm kiss. "He really is an idiot," Kai murmured into her mouth, and she let herself indulge for a few moments before pulling away, too aware that they were in public and her workplace.

"And not at all anything to worry about," she reassured him, unable to stop smiling. "But that was probably the most entertaining thing that's happened here tonight."

"Hm, well at least now I've staked my claim," Kai hummed.

Jinora smiled at him. "I'm yours, now?"

He arched an eyebrow, grinning. "Aren't you?"

Jinora looped her arm through his and he let her tug him back into the throng of people, smiling. "C'mon, Captain. Let's go enjoy the rest of the party."

###

They hadn't stayed long after, picking up some takeout on the way home, now already mostly-gone, whatever remained stuffed into the ice box as they curled up in bed, hearts and stomachs full.

Kai had taken to running his hand lightly up and down her shoulder, their fancy clothes hung up in the closet to avoid messing them up. "I love you," he said. "And I am so proud of you, for working so hard and succeeding in your career."

Jinora buried her face in his neck, smiling softly. "Thank you," she murmured, "for standing by me through it all." She pulled away slightly, just enough to look into his face. "I know this hasn't been easy for you."

"It's okay. Beside, it would've been harder, being away from you again." He looked at her tenderly, a smile tugging at his lips. "Marry me."

"I've already said yes," she said, smiling.

"That doesn't mean I'm ever going to get tired of hearing it. You're going to be _my wife_."

She laughed, snuggling closer to him. "Well you know in my crowd's eyes, we've technically, been wed since the first time we had sex."

Kai curled an arm around her. "Oh yes, because we were proper god-fearing teenagers, weren't we?" he played along, and then joined in her laughter. "Hey," he said once it faded, "I've always kind of wondered… so you never did _anything_ with Lee? You seemed so confident with all that sexual sort of stuff."

"'Sexual sort of stuff'?" she repeated, her mouth curling into a coy smile, which only grew when a flush coloured his cheeks. "No, Kai, I did not do anything with Lee. I think we only made out like once and even then, it was only for maybe three minutes."

"Okay," he said carefully. "I wouldn't be upset if you did, I just...it'd be better to know."

"Then it's a good thing that we actually didn't do anything," Jinora said with a light lilt to her voice. "Kai, seriously. I've only ever wanted you."

He kissed her forehead. "It's a good thing we've always been on the same page in that regard, then."

Jinora wrapped an arm around his torso. "Hey," she said, more seriously. "We've… never really talked, about your side of things, when I was dating Lee. After you got out of the infirmary."

"Oh. Yeah… I guess I didn't feel like I could talk about it at the time, and then enough time passed, that it didn't bother me as much anymore."

"We can still talk about it now, if you want."

Kai sighed. "I guess… I dunno, Lee was the first friend I had that was my age. And I thought, at the time, that he was better for you than I was. Than I ever could be. And of course, I had a lot of shit going on so I knew I wasn't really ready, at first, but… it still hurt, y'know, but that was my own fault. I hadn't asked you to wait for me. I'd told you the opposite, actually."

"It's still valid, though," she said. "Feeling hurt, when...when all that was happening, on top of everything else."

"I know. I just… Yeah, I was jealous of Lee, but I could never really resent him for it. He was being for you what I couldn't be, or so I thought. And either way, I mean, I knew what it was like to fall in love with you. How easy it was."

"Kai…"

"It's still easy," he said. "To fall in love with you every single day, over and over again."

Tears pricked at Jinora's eyes as she smiled up at him. "And now we know where we're going," she said softly. "Or at least, that we'll both be there, wherever we end up."

"Hey, I'm pretty dead set on growing old with you." He took her hand. "Dead, geddit?"

"You're an idiot," she said, smiling, and then kissing him. "I love you."

"I love you too, Jin." He tucked her hair behind her ears, and stifled a yawn. "You ready to sleep?"

She nodded, curling into him. "Goodnight, babe. Love you," she said again.

He would never get tired of hearing her say that, either. "G'night Jin. Love you too."

###

Jinora hadn't realized how much she'd missed her family and the crew till she found herself swallowed up in a tight embrace from her mother, before being passed around for more hugs and hair-rufflings from the crew. Even days later, at the New Year's Eve party, she and Kai were pulled aside for more hugs and mini-reunions, and it made her smile, seeing how much the crew still doted over Kai, even after all these years. Even if he'd been their captain for awhile, he'd also never stop being their boy, and she was glad to see that the girls were visiting in good spirits. She'd even seen Miki and Kai talking and smiling with one another.

What she liked most, however, was when Kai took her out to the gardens ten minutes before midnight, their hands clasped as they strolled down the cobblestone paths.

"Is there a reason for this walk?" she asked, smiling beside him.

Kai squeezed her hand. "Is there ever one, beyond wanting to spend time just the two of us? We've taken so many walks, here together, and… it's hard to believe it's been ten years, and I've hardly ever seen that special flower your family has."

She laughed. "Well, we can go see it now, if you'd like."

"It was a wonderful surprise," he said. "But I actually have something I want to show you." They stopped in front of the fountain, iced over with candles softly glowing over the water. His hand slipped out of hers, and he smiled softly. "Close your eyes? And no peeking."

Jinora wrinkled her nose at him, but closed her eyes, humming softly and biting back her own curiosity. She'd know soon enough.

In fact, maybe less than 30 seconds had passed when Kai said, "Open 'em," and he wasn't where he'd last been standing, and instead, kneeling in front of her with an open box in his hand, revealing a ring. Jinora gasped, clasping a hand over her mouth as tears rose to her eyes.

"I know I've already asked...a lot," Kai said, his smile wide and only a little nervous, "but now I finally have that ring, so…" He swallowed. "Jinora Gyatso, you are the first and only woman I've ever loved, that I will ever love, and I still remember our first New Years here. I was so nervous—almost as nervous as I am now, even if it's been ten years, because you are still as beautiful, and intelligent, and kind as when I first met you, if not more so. You make me the happiest man alive, and I'm here, proposing properly, because it's what you deserve. I want to spend every day of my life making you happy, and being the man you deserve, because you make me better. Loving you made me better, and it still does, and I love you. You've stood by me through everything, and I love you so much. Jinora Gyatso, my friend, my partner, will you marry me?"

Tears spilled from her eyes as she nodded. "Of course I'll marry you," she said, smiling so wide it almost hurt, her fingers trembling as he slipped a small, silver ring with a shimmering white stone onto her ring finger. As he stood up, he scooped her into his arms, and she wrapped her arms tight around him, somewhere between laughing and crying. Her smile only grew when he kissed her, and she could feel his trembling smile against hers. "I love you," she managed.

"I know," he said, finally finding it in him to separate from her, but he still held about of her hands tightly, feeling her new ring bump against his palm. "C'mon," he said, looking at her; his eyes were bright with happy tears too. "Let's go show your family the ring."


	28. Winter

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Winter

Jinora had been looking out the window one Saturday morning in January, gauging the weather for the day, and promptly forgot all about it when Kai's arms slid around her, his hands cupping her breasts.

"Come back to bed, baby," he mumbled, his lips brushing against her ear. Jinora laughed softly, sliding her hands over his.

"Isn't that my line?" she murmured. It was a snowy day, and the paperwork she'd been planning to do had been left at the school; there was no way she was venturing outside today in the cold to go get it. Especially when her fiancé was so warm.

"Not when you're up so early on a weekend." He pressed a kiss to the crook of her neck. "C'mon, we can keep each other warm."

"Mm, but I'm comfy here."

Kai grinned. "You're standing by the window?"

Jinora leaned into him, and glanced over her shoulder to look him in the face, and bit her lip. "You mean you've never thought about fucking me standing up?" she said, low and sultry.

His grin widened, and one of his hands slid down her stomach, between her legs. "You wanna try?"

Jinora moved one of her hands over that one, too. "That's not what I said, now is it? I said, have you thought about it?" She curved his palm over her crotch, sighing when he squeezed. "How have you thought about fucking me, love?"

"Plenty of ways," he said, running his fingers along the thin material of her underwear. She'd only worn that and a blouse to bed last night. "Against the wall… on one of the armchairs in your reading room, back home… on the table… in my captain's chair, back on the Waterbender."

"We'll have to do the last one the next time we sail back home," she murmured.

"My thoughts exactly," he breathed, slipping his hand beneath her panties and plunging two fingers inside her.

Jinora moaned softly, biting down harder on her bottom lip. He stroked her slowly and deliberately, sinking into the most sensitive parts of her, parts her had by now memorized, and she shook in his arms, sagging against him.

Kai pressed his mouth to her ear. "You like that?" he murmured, heady with the scent of her, the way she dripped onto his fingers. She nodded wordlessly, moaning as he squeezed her breast in rhythm with the pump of his fingers inside her.

"Take me back to bed?" she requested hoarsely, and he slipped his fingers out of her. He moved to stand in front of her and picked her up in his arms, carrying her back to their room and their bed, and settling her down on it.

He kissed her engagement ring, and laced their fingers together, before he moved to lie on top of her. "I love you baby," he murmured.

She smiled, squeezing his hand as they angled their hips together. "I love you too, captain." She kissed him as he slid in, the way he filled her by now familiar and almost comforting, as they began to move together. She would never touch anyone else like this, and the knowledge was comforting. They were each other's, forever.

And nothing would ever change that.

###

It was hard not to be nervous, walking by himself to Tullik and Aika's. Though the couple had made it clear that they were more than happy to have him over, it was still daunting, not having Jinora there with him. But she was staying behind to grade papers, and he had nothing else to do while he waited for the police to come through with some more records, so he walked over to the quiet neighborhood with a basket of steam buns in his hands. It was up to him to foster a relationship with his grandparents after all, not to just fall back on Jinora and let her do it for him. And after everything, he found that he really did want a relationship with them, separate from Jinora. They were good people, and good grandparents, even in spite of their circumstances.

He was walking up the cobblestone path to the house when he came face-to-face with Misun. He swallowed hard. "Um, hello," he said.

Misun regarded him coldly. "What are you doing here?"

"Your parents said I could visit anytime," he replied, trying not to sound too defensive. "We… made plans to have lunch together today… Would you like to join us?"

Misun pursed her lips. "I'm busy. I was just on my way out."

"Oh, okay. Um… Have a nice day, then."

Misun gave him a short nod. "Thanks."

He passed her, relieved and then guilty about being relieved once she was gone. She was technically his aunt, after all, and just mourning his mother. Still, did she always have to be so standoffish? It had been months. Or did she just not like looking at him because he looked so much like Ming, and it was too painful?

Kai gave up the dilemma and rang the doorbell. It was like night and day, when Aika opened the door and gave him a big hug. She took his basket as he walked inside, and Tullik greeted him with an equally big hug and a hearty pat on the back.

"Jinora's sorry she couldn't come along," Kai said. "Grading, y'know."

"We'll just have to have her over next time," Aika said cheerfully. "And it looks like you both still brought over her mother's steam buns?"

"Her recipe, yes. I made them, though, so they might not be as good."

"I'm sure they'll be wonderful," said Aika, setting the basket on the table. "Lunch is almost ready; while we wait, tell us how you've been!"

Kai smiled slightly, sitting down between them at the table. "Well, the police have finally been more cooperative, so… it's slow work, but I'm putting together a timeline of attacks, raids, in the past, so I can predict the future, and… I think I'm almost finished all the work I can get done here, by the summer."

Tullik raised a bushy brow. "And then?"

Kai rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm not sure. I guess I'll start rounding up other crews, who might want to help, and… take the fight to Quil, I guess." He felt guilty, as he hadn't told Jinora that yet, but it was still a thought forming in the back of his mind. There'd be the Waterbender, of course, and then maybe Korra's of the Avatar. Maybe even Jet of the Freedom Fighters, if they could offer a good enough payment or appeal to the wounded captain's idealistic side. It wasn't all the uncommon for pirates to set feuds aside when it came to bigger enemies.

Aika's expression grew worried. "You'll have enough people fighting with you?"

"Hopefully. I think we'll all be fine. And...it's worth the risk, if we can take him down and keep the power vacuum from being filled. We… we could end the slave trade." He swallowed. "Give my mother and everyone else some peace… give me, peace."

Tullik looked at him sadly. "It haunts you son, doesn't it?" Kai nodded, and Tullik reached over and took his hand. "Us too. We're here, whatever you decide. However we can help."

Kai smiled softly. "Thank you. It's...just nice, to be able to talk about this. I mean, I have Jinora, and the crew, though they're far away right now…" He sighed. "It's nice, to be able to talk about my mother. I didn't for so long and now… it doesn't hurt as much anymore."

"We mourned our daughter for so many years," Aika said quietly. "Finding out what happened to her, that she had some happiness, that got to create new life even if she died… You don't know what a gift you are to us, Kai."

A lump formed in Kai's throat. "When I first found out about you, I was...so scared, that me being here would hurt you more. That you would hate me because of how my mother died, because… I had hated myself for it for so long, but… I am so happy I was wrong."

Tullik wiped at his eyes. "We love you so much, Kai. Finding you has healed us slowly, every day, more than we thought possible. We miss our daughter, but we're so happy we have you. And there is so much of your mother in you. So much kindness and courage." Tullik squeezed Kai's shoulder.

"I never had grandparents before. I'm...I'm glad it's both of you."

Aika took Kai's other hand. "We're glad you're our grandson, Kai."

Kai squeezed their hands. "Thank you." He slowly cleared his throat. "How have, er, both of you been recently? It looks like winter is finally fading."

"We've been alright," Aika said. "It's been nice to work at the library again."

"I'm not as much of a bookworm as Jinora, but we could both visit you, if that's alright."

"We'd love that." She squeezed his hand, before letting go and standing up. "Now come on, both of you. Lunch should be ready by now, and I won't have you both going hungry while we talk."

Kai chuckled softly. "Yes, ma'am," he said, standing up before helping Tullik onto his feet until the old man could reach for his cane.

Somehow, he had grandparents, and it didn't feel like it was going to give out under him anytime soon, so he followed them into the kitchen with a smile on his face.

###

It was a cold, blustery Valentines Day, and Jinora was relieved when she turned the radio on, Kai mumbling groggily as the noise woke him, that almost every school in the city, including hers, had been cancelled for the day. "Babe?" he asked blearily, an arm around her waist.

Jinora flicked the radio on their bedside table off, and settled back beside him, smiling at the sleepy look on his face. "Yes love?"

"What'd the radio say?"

"That I'm all yours."

He snorted. "So what it actually said was that the snowstorm cancelled school?"

"Your powers of deduction are quite sexy," she teased, letting her hands rest against his chest. He smiled sleepily, and it grew as she pressed a sloppy kiss to his lips. His other hand came up to cup the back of her head, threading his fingers through her soft hair.

"Happy Valentines Day," he murmured against her mouth, and she giggled. "What? Don't I sound all hoarse and sexy?"

She laughed some more. "You do, I just—you remember that batch of cookies you and Lee made me? They looked terrible."

Kai gave her an exasperated smile. "Hey, they tasted good." She smiled and nodded, relenting, as he pulled her closer. "Not as good as you, though." She only had a moment to enjoy his lips on her neck, before he was kissing his way down her body and peeling back their covers to give him room, and goosebumps from anticipation and the cold erupted over her skin. He nibbled on her inner thigh, pressing a kiss to the faint pink mark he left, and Jinora's hips bucked in anticipation as his warm breath ghosted over the apex of her legs.

Jinora let her head rest against their pillows as he sought out her clit with his tongue, and then ran his tongue between her dripping folds, sucking lightly. She grasped at the sheets around her, gripping hard as he unraveled her with each hard lash of his tongue. She moaned freely, squirming against his face, but he held her hips down with one forearm, his other hand between her legs, his thumb gently rubbing circles around her clit.

"God you've gotten good at this," she gasped in between moans.

He paused to quip, "You've trained me well babe," before diving back down between her legs.

Kai brought her to the brink, and right when she thought he was going to pull away for a bit of cruel torture, he brought her over it, and she shuddered when he let her come, arching her back. Her throat was hoarse and dry as she struggled to catch her breath. Kai rose from between her legs, settling back over her as he kissed her deeply, and her hands came up to cup his face, trembling.

"Thank you baby," she managed, tasting herself on his tongue. "Mm—" She whimpered against his mouth as he rubbed his hard, throbbing cock between her legs.

"Too soon?" he breathed. He knew how tender she could get sometimes.

"Maybe a little," she admitted with a sheepish smile. "Gimme a minute or two?"

"Of course, babe." He pressed a kiss to the corner of her mouth, drawing his hips away from hers just a little, as she kissed him again, sighing against his mouth. "You're having a good morning so far?"

She looped her arms around his neck, wrinkling her nose at him. "The best." She kissed him briefly, mumbling, "We should shower after this."

"Mm, I could wash your hair?"

She smiled against his lips. "Mmhm. You just want an excuse to touch it."

"I don't need an excuse; you love it when I play with your hair." He shifted his weight, and their smiles grew. "It's the only way I can get you to stop snoring in the middle of the night."

Jinora laughed, and swatted him in the shoulder. "Shut up, I do not snore."

"Do too."

"Do not."

He kissed her again. "Do too. You can't hear it when you're asleep, and it's never too loud. And it's cute. I'm very excited to hear you snore beside me every night for the rest of my life, you know."

Her heart melted, and her smile grew against his mouth. "You're a dork," she mumbled. "I love you so much."

"I love you too." He grinned at her. "How's it looking downstairs?"

Jinora smirked at him. "I think you did your job too well, captain."

He kissed her cheek. "Good."

"Try again later today though?"

"Oh of course. You're irresistible and sexy as hell, you know that."

She grinned. "I know." She kissed him briefly, before he shifted off of her and onto his back, taking his shaft into his hand, stroking himself quickly. Jinora curled into his side and pressed light kisses to his neck and jaw till he came, letting out a soft groan. She kissed his cheek as he wiped his hand off on the side of the bed. "Wanna rest here for a bit before we shower?"

He wrapped an arm around her waist. "I am a little out of breath."

"We should put our sheets in the laundry before we get in the shower."

"I think it'd be cheaper to wait until we're finished with them, and wash 'em tomorrow, don't you?"

She wrinkled her nose at him. "Fine."

"What? I'm just being practical," he chuckled, hooking his fingers under her chin. "What's that look for, love?"

"I'm just surprised you were the practical one," she said.

"You've taught me well," he grinned, and Jinora laughed softly. "And looks like we'll be cooking all day, since we can't order takeout. At least the radio still works. We can go dancing right in the living room."

"Nerd," Jinora chided, kissing him and already knowing she was going to indulge in admittedly the most romantic side of him that always seemed to come out when they were dancing.

Kai brushed her hair from her face, pulling away from her lips with a small grin. "Shower time?"

Jinora flopped over him. "But it's warm in bed and cold out there."

"Then I'll just have to keep you warm, won't I?"

She slowly got off him. "I suppose so," she said, and then reluctantly went to get out of bed, and Kai followed as they hurried into their bathroom and turned the shower on to let the water warm. He pulled her into his arms as they waited, and he really was warm, as she buried her face in his neck, holding him closer. His hand found hers and he stroked his thumb over her engagement ring.

"Hey," he said softly. "You're happy, right?"

She held him a little tighter. "Yeah. Of course I am."

He smiled against her brow. "Good."

"I think the warm water might do wonders for my tenderness, too," she said, a knowing glint in her eye when she looked up at him.

He grinned. "Is that so?"

"Mmhm."

He cracked open their shower door, and let the water fall over his palm, finding it at a steamy temperature, and then tugged his fiancée into the shower with him. "Let's find out, shall we?"

Jinora giggled as she was tugged in, falling into his arms, and she leaned up and kissed him, humming when the hot water poured over their bodies. She ran her hands through his quickly dampening hair, smiling when he pulled away slightly to hand her the soap. She gestured with it. "You want to wash up first?"

He smirked at her. "You'd rather be dirty?"

"We're both going to be by the end of the day, anyway," she said.

"So why don't we get dirty first," he said, pulling her closer as his hands slid down to cup her ass, "and then get cleaned up before we get dirty again later tonight?"

"I do like the sound of it," she hummed, setting the soap down on the small shelf they had for it in the wall.

Kai grinned at her as he kissed her. "You talk too much." His grip on her ass tightened as she wrapped her arms around his neck, playing with the shaven hairs at his nape as he kissed her.

Jinora smiled widely, and gladly let him make her make all sorts of other noises.

###

A late period was rare, but not unheard of, over all the years she'd been on the pill. Light snow that would soon turn to mush under the flow of March rain fell softly outside their bathroom window, on one of the rare days she was able to work from home, grading papers, while Kai had gone downtown to the police department to get some new files he needed. But the sudden realization her period was almost two weeks late—unusually long—made her rise from her chair and go to the bathroom. There had been a weekend, recently, where she'd been late in taking her nightly pill, and she didn't _feel_ any different, but—

She leaned over the sink, her arms shaking as she gripped the edge of the countertop, and slowly looked up into the mirror. She had never even thought of what they would do if she ended up pregnant before they were officially married. It had never been a concern, before, and she'd grown used to that safety... She took a deep breath, running her fingers through her hair.

They didn't have any pregnancy tests here, of course, and the thought of going out in the cold… and taking a test without him. If she wasn't, there was no point in telling him, but it would feel wrong, somehow. And she knew he wouldn't want her to be facing any part of this alone. She'd focus on grading her papers as much as she could, take the test once Kai was home, and if she was pregnant she'd write a letter to her parents and ask for advice, while she and Kai could start figuring out what to do next. An abortion didn't feel right, but there was no way Kai would be okay with giving the child up, nor would she, so—

Jinora shook her head straight. Breathe. No matter what, it would be okay, right? They were already engaged, and had planned to have children anyway. They'd planned it for later on—a few years into their marriage at the very least—but they'd figure it out, right?

She forced herself back to the spare bedroom she'd turned into a study, and slogged her way through her students' papers, rereading lines twice before she managed to make sense of them, her brain addled with worry. She forced herself through a few more essays, before giving up, getting up from her desk and moving over to the kitchen.

Calming tea would help, maybe.

It felt like an eternity before four o'clock rolled around, and the front door, revealing her fiance as he shook the snow from his hair, smiling at her. "Afternoon love," he greeted. His smile seemed a little strained, and there was a thin file of records tucked under his arm. Had that really been all he needed from the police? "How was your day?"

She managed a smile as he took off his coat. "It was fine. A little boring. Some kids really don't know their grammar at this level, can you believe that?"

"Yes, because that would probably have been me," he said, setting his file down on their kitchen counter and pecking her on the cheek. "Mind if I make some more tea?"

Jinora swallowed. "Go ahead."

He filled up the kettle, his hands stilling when he went to put it on the stove. "Hey, Jin… about the police files I got today, I—" He turned around to look at her properly, and frowned. "Are you okay?"

She clasped her hands together. She couldn't do it. God, how much of a coward was she? "Fine. So, your police files—"

He put down the kettle and pried her hands apart, taking them into his. "Hey," he coaxed gently. "What's wrong?"

Jinora took a deep breath. "I...I need to take a pregnancy test."

Kai's expression slowly shifted, his eyes widening. "You're—?"

"I don't know for sure yet," she said quickly. "I just want to know if—if I am, or if I'm not, and if I'm not, nothing changes, so…" She swallowed.

"And if you are?"

"We'll worry about that if it's true. I'm… my period is late, today, I realized, by two weeks, and we don't have any tests here and I didn't want to stress you out but I didn't want to take one without you here and—"

He kissed her forehead. "It's okay. I understand." He squeezed her hands gently, giving her a small smile. "And I'm glad you told me."

Jinora squeezed his hands back, looking up at him with shining eyes. "Thanks, love, I…"

"Why don't we go to the store down the block, pick one up, and then give it a shot here in our bathroom? See what it says. We can buy as many as we need."

Jinora nodded. "Okay. Thank you."

"Hey, we're a team remember? You and me, always." He gave her hands another squeeze, and then tugged her over to their coat stand. "Come on, it's pretty cold outside."

###

The three tests she took all came back negative over the course of a few hours, and Jinora was both relieved and hollow inside when she sank down onto the toilet and Kai kneeled in front of her. "So… no baby then," she mumbled, feeling like she was going to be sick anyway.

Kai gave her a small, wry smile. "Not yet, love."

She took a shaky breath. "Sorry I got you worried for nothing."

"Wasn't worried," he clarified. "Maybe I was a little stressed out, but… if and when we do have kids, and we're on the same page about the timing, no baby of ours could ever be anything other than a blessing. Okay? We would have figured it out. That's what marriage is all about right? Figuring things out."

Jinora smiled softly. "I just… It made me realize that so many of our plans could change so quickly, and…" She sighed. "But you're right. We would have figured it out."

"Exactly, and… do you want to plan for what we'd do if we got pregnant? I mean, if you got pregnant—you know what I mean."

"I'd like that," she said quietly. "So if...if it does happen before we're ready… I don't know if I would feel right, about getting an abortion. I mean, plenty of other people can and should, if that's what they want, but for me, it… it would feel wrong. A-and I know you, you would never be willing to give the child up, to an orphanage, and I understand completely."

Kai took her hands and held them tight. "You're right," he murmured, sighing. "I wouldn't."

"So… I mean, it's not that we're not ready for a baby, but...we'd be more ready when we're older, I guess. When we've been settled on the ship for a while. But if we had a child sooner, I...I'd be willing to have it, and to raise it."

"Don't you want to teach for awhile?"

"I think I could do both, for a little while. Maybe I'd have to teach fewer classes, but I could do it. If...would you be willing?"

"Of course. I mean, I'm home most of the day anyway. Once the baby didn't need breastmilk I could take over."

Jinora smiled at him. "Okay. That's the plan, then?"

He kissed her briefly on the lips, smiling. "That's the plan."

She pulled away, just gazing at him for a moment, before raking her hand through his hair, studying him. "So, you mentioned something about your files, when you came in?"

His smile flickered so quickly she couldn't be sure if it had happened at all. "Oh, yeah. It's pretty thin, I know. They're putting in a request to the biggest police station at the east coast, to bring up some records here. They should be getting here in a month, but I'll be plenty busy until they get here."

"Yeah?" she checked. "Not bored?"

"Not bored. Especially when there's a dinner to plan, too." He stood up, pulling her along with him. "What're you in the mood for tonight, babe?"

"I do have some pasta sauce in the fridge. You're okay to put on the noodles while I get it heated?"

He kissed her forehead again. "Course, love. C'mon. I'm starving."

###

They didn't usually expect much in the mail every week. Maybe a few bills, some letters, a care package from Pema every so often. But when Jinora brought the mail back to their apartment, she came back with only a few sealed envelopes, and didn't think anything of it till she set them on the table and saw an envelope with Jet's name on the return address. She knew the Captain of the Freedom Fighters had returned to the sea after his disastrous hostage takeover at her family's house nearly seven years ago, but that didn't explain why Kai was writing to him of all things. She didn't even think they'd seen each other since.

She held up the letter, swallowing when her throat tightened—remembering the last time she'd found something Kai clearly hadn't meant for her to—as she turned to him, when he came out of the bathroom. She kept her voice as controlled as possible. Maybe it was nothing bad. "What's this?" She handed Kai the envelope. His eyes scanned the envelope, and he gave her a slow nod.

"It's a letter from Jet," he said. "I…" He sighed. "Jin, can we sit down?"

She crossed her arms over her chest, but took a seat next to him on their sofa anyway. "Why are you writing to Jet?" she asked, almost despairingly.

Kai took his time with speaking, and she fought to keep her curiosity and frustration down. Nothing bad.

"I had an offer for him," Kai said finally, slowly. Calculating the way the words weighed in his mouth. "About… about Quil."

"Quil?"

"I...I'm close to tracking where he is, his shipments, and...I want to bring the fight to him. Not alone," he added quickly. "I'd take the crew, and any other crews that want to help. I asked Korra and Jet, and they're going to stretch out other tethers. I haven't been on the scene in awhile, after all."

Her voice was tight, and clipped. "And once you have the support you need? What then?"

"We sail to Paradise, and take down the slave trade. Destabilize the city. Keep the power vacuum from being filled."

"And how do you plan to do that?"

"That's what the police reports from the east coast have been for. Getting intel. Looking for allies. It won't be easy, but, with the research I've been doing, I know it's possible. As for who would lead Paradise after the coup… Korra might be up to it, or at least, I'd trust her with it."

"And when, exactly, is all this supposed to happen?"

He winced, rubbing his thumb across her knuckles. "I was thinking maybe next September. Long enough before the ice sets in."

Her brow furrowed. "During next year? Your plan is five months away and you're only telling me now?"

"Jin, please don't get upset. I was going to tell you a couple weeks ago, but…" The pregnancy scare. "It's only been solidifying for a month or two, in my mind at least."

Jinora shook off his hand and stood up. "I can't believe you. I can't believe you would go and start planning this without telling me, without considering me at all—"

Kai got to his feet. "I have considered you, Jin, I—"

"What happens if it doesn't work? What happens if you sail in there and you die, then? Would we even get your body back?"

"Jinora—"

"What if they want you to be a pirate lord, and then you're all the way over there? What if one of the crews stabs you in the back and you die, Kai—"

"Then I die! I die, doing what's right. Regardless of whether or not I succeed."

Jinora glared at him. "Is this really about doing the right thing, or is this about revenge, huh? Revenge for your mother? For your family, and yourself? And screw anyone else who gets hurt."

"Jinora, that's not—"

"We were supposed to be in this together—"

Kai shook his head at her. "I knew you would overreact like this—Jinora, I don't even know if any of them have said yes! I don't know yet if it'll be next year or five years from now but I have to do this! I have to. Or I don't know how I'm going to be able to live with myself. I told you that, back when we were kids. I thought you knew what you were getting into! Yeah this is an ugly bloody thing, but so am I, alright? So am I. I'm still a pirate at heart and I can't leave people to suffer when I know I could do something about it, and nothing—nothing you say will change my mind!"

Jinora's bottom lip trembled. She sank back down on the couch, and buried her face in her hands. "I can't," she choked out, "I can't handle losing you again."

Kai went silent. "Jin…"

"I've almost lost you so many times and I can't—I just want you to be safe. Sometimes here in the city I still get scared one day you're going to do something stupid and heroic and you won't—you won't come home."

He sat down next to her. "I'll come home," he said. "I'll be okay, I just—I need to do this, Jinora. I've been working towards this ever since we were kids. Okay? Quil… took my mother away from her family, and Skoochy away from his, and for millions and millions of people. I have to help them. I have to save as many people as I can, and then I swear, I will save myself. I will come home to you."

"Let me come with you."

"Jinora, you'll be starting another term, I can't—"

"I'll take a semester off. Let me come with you." She looked up at him with red-rimmed eyes. "I'm not asking."

He gaped at her, and then found his voice. "You're not trained. Jinora, you have no idea how dangerous Paradise is—how dangerous Quil is. I know you love me, but I love you, and that's exactly why I can't let you—"

"You do not let me do anything," she said fiercely. "And yes, I love you. With everything that I am. And if I didn't go with you and something happened to you, I would never ever be able to forgive myself. I wouldn't be able to live with myself either. I am coming with you. Or…" she looked down at her ring. "Or clearly you don't consider me the way a husband should. For better or for worse, Kai."

Kai swallowed. "Fine. But you will not be involved in any of the fighting. When things go bad, you're staying below decks."

"But—"

"You will stay below decks."

Jinora pursed her lips, but nodded. "Alright."

"Thank you." He sighed, glancing down at the unopened envelopes. He'd leave them for tomorrow. "Want me to start dinner?"

"Sure. I'll be in to help in a bit."

"Okay." He looked at her, his brow furrowing, as he took her hands, more relieved than maybe he should have been when she held on. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," she said softly. "And I...I can't lose you again."

"You won't. I'm sorry I said you were overreacting, I know… I know it's just because you care. And I am so grateful and happy that you care."

Jinora managed a small smile. "Thank you. And thank you for letting me come along. It'll...help, if I'm there with you."

"I know." He kissed her forehead. "Want noodles tonight?"

Jinora's smile grew. "Yeah. I'll be in in a moment." She kissed his cheek before he left, then sat down on the couch, glancing at the envelopes. The idea of Kai sailing into paradise with only three crews backing him made his stomach churn. She'd known pirates long enough to know how massive all of Quil's forces were, not including any other slavers who would rally behind him to preserve and grab more power for themselves. But who else would want to risk a suicide mission? Who else hated pirates enough to mount a full scale operation like this?

She stood up, leaving the envelopes as she came into the kitchen. "Kai… what about the APA?"

He looked up from his work at the stove, a pot of water already boiling. "The APA? What about them?"

"Could they help? With taking down Quil?"

Kai's smile faltered. "The other crews wouldn't be comfortable working with them," he said, "and neither would my crew, actually. They hunt pirates like us, even after we leave the game. They could come along for the mission and then haul us to jail after. And… it would mean telling them pirate secrets, and they'd be a dead giveaway in Paradise. Don't know how to hold themselves and blend in."

"But they have a lot more people. More than even Quil, right? And you could make some kind of agreement with them, since taking Quil down would solve most of their bigger problems. We...we could come up with a contract. If they break it, their career could face termination, at the very least."

"Only an officer like Kuvira would be able to enforce an operation this big, and she'd never be willing to hear us out. Hear me out. You saw her at the BeiFongs party."

"But if she knew we wanted to take Quil down, maybe...maybe she could put that aside, for the greater good of the mission."

"People like her don't just put those things aside. And she could try to stop the operation. Say we're being unlawful, and then I would have to put up with planning while having her breathe down my neck."

"Well yes, but—"

"Jinora, I know you want to help, but there are some things about my world you just can't understand unless you've lived it, and Paradise and the APA is one of them, okay?" He did his best not to sound tired. "Please, just drop it? If I was a different man then maybe it would work but…"

Jinora turned away and crossed her arms over her chest. "Fine."

He left the stove to walk to her. "Jin, I—"

"It's fine, Kai," she said shortly. "C'mon, let's just leave it and eat dinner."

His brow pinched together, but he let it go. "Okay."

They didn't talk much at dinner or when getting ready for bed, with stilted attempts at conversation, and it bothered both of them just fine.

###

Though she loved the freedom of growing up, the thing Jinora found she missed the most about being a kid was her parents' hugs. Even when she disagreed with them, they were always on her side—and given the stasis she and Kai seemed to be stuck in over the past two weeks, she really needed someone on her side. They hadn't been fighting, but they hadn't been warm and open either, and there was added frustration, she was sure, on both of their parts, from wasting what happy time they did have left before the operation would become more serious. Jet and Korra had both said yes and Kai had sent a letter to them three days ago.

She smiled as her parents turned to embrace Kai as well, and Yung stepped forward to hug her. "Hey," the old pirate greeted, "how you kids doing up here?"

"We're fine," she said, smiling tiredly. "How's Rohan doing about being left home alone?"

"The crew are with him," said Pema, releasing Kai. "And Pfannee, Miki, and Lee Wen. Just in case. But he does miss both of you very much."

"I can't believe he's going to be at St. Bosco's next year," she murmured. "He's growing up so fast."

"You don't have to remind us," Pema chuckled. "We'll just have to get used to all of you being away from home more often."

"We'll be home for the summer," Kai assured her. "Don't worry Pema. Maybe even in time for Rohan's grade eight graduation? What do you think Jin? Your marks are due in April, right?"

"Yeah, we should be able to get back in time," Jinora said with a smile that was only a little strained. "If you're able."

"'Course, Jin." He pressed a kiss to the side of her head. "I'll make sure to get all my paperwork done here ahead of time."

"And how is your project coming along, Kai?" asked Tenzin, as the family moved to sit on the couch and armchairs.

Kai glanced at his fiancée. "Pretty well. I think I'm finally finding the needle I'm looking for, in the haystack, so that's good. Things are starting to come to fruition, in terms of the information I need."

"He's been working very hard," Jinora added, because she needed to be supportive, didn't she?

"So has she," Kai said, glancing at Jinora fondly. "It's not easy, but it's been nice, to find quiet moments together."

"Enough about us," Jinora said. "Mum, Dad, Yung, how are you?"

"We're alright," said Tenzin. "Nothing much has changed."

"Though Otaku's finally asked that girl to marry him," Yung said, and Kai smiled widely.

"He's finally marrying Jaya?"

"They're going to have a small wedding, at a courthouse, now that they can legally. I expect they'll settle down fully over the next year too. Maybe by next spring."

"They better."

"And then we'll have another wedding to go to in the next couple of years?" Yung asked with a knowing smile. Kai's smile softened, and he and Jinora exchanged a glance.

"Yeah," Jinora said. "Soon. It looks like I'll have a third ring then, to go along with his third proposal."

"You proposed three times kid?" Yung said, shaking his head while grinning.

"I just kept on wanting to hear that yes. And the first two times I didn't have a ring, so." Kai shrugged and took her hand, running his thumb over her engagement ring, her promise ring hanging over her blouse.

Her smile widened and turned more genuine. Even if things were difficult right now, they were always on the same side. She leaned against his shoulder.

They would be okay.

###

"Kai? You awake?"

"Hmm?" He rolled over to face her after another poke of her finger below his ribs, blinking groggily. Thank the gods it was Saturday, the last one in March. "Yeah babe?"

"I've been thinking about September," she said.

His brow pinched together. "Jin, it's three in the morning," he said, trying not to sound too annoyed. "Can we please wait until, like, ten or something?"

Jinora sighed, but curled in on herself. "Okay," she relented, pursing her lips. She only laid there for a minute, closing her eyes to get her mind at peace when she felt Kai shift over her and turn their bedside lamp on.

"Okay," he said, settling on his side beside her and running a hand through his hair. "What's bothering you, babe?"

Jinora clasped her hands together, not looking any happier that he had decided to talk; she knew he wouldn't like this. "Please hear me out," she said, and he nodded. "I really do think you should at least talk to the APA. There must be some sympathetic members, maybe Lee's brother knows some—" She knew APA members often had rich siblings that Shun's business partnered with more often than not.

Kai frowned. "Jinora, we've talked about this."

"No, you've shot me down about this. Look, I know there's a risk, but you're already taking a huge one, it can't hurt to just—"

"Yes, it _can_ hurt." He moved over onto his back, staring at the ceiling. "I don't want to talk about this, Jinora."

Jinora huffed. "Because there are some things I 'just can't understand' about your world?"

Kai rolled his eyes. "Jinora, you know what I mean."

"No, I don't think I do. Because I've opened up my, so-called 'world' to you, and you seem to understand it just fine, more or less, so why can't I understand yours? I've lived with the crew, on the ship. Or am I just too stupid to get it?"

"No, it's—I hate it when you put words in my mouth." He sighed. "Look, Jinora, it's that the APA doesn't soften when it comes to good intentions. Okay? I don't trust them, and for damn good reasons, and we don't need their help."

"So you're going to take on Quil's fleet and many others with three crews? Maybe only 75 people max?"

"We'll have the element of surprise on our side."

"And then what, Kai?"

"Then we fight, as much as we can. Take down Quil, try to round up as many of his men as we can, put Korra in his place as fast as possible."

"And if that fails? You've told me about Paradise. I don't want to see you get strung up on the streets and hanged."

"If you're so concerned, then just don't come, Jinora. I never wanted you to in the first place."

Jinora's eyes stung. "I'm coming because I'm concerned, you idiot. Because I love you."

"And I still have to do this. Even if I love you."

Something shattered inside her, her voice turning to a hiss. " _If? If_ —"

Kai reached for her hand, mild concern shining through his eyes. "Jinora, don't be stupid, you know I didn't—"

Jinora jerked herself away and pushed herself out of bed, pacing at the foot of it with a glare in his direction. "Do not call me stupid right now, Kai Fong! Ugh, you are so—so infuriating and stubborn and such a jackass sometimes, it makes me hate you—I cannot believe—"

"Then maybe you shouldn't come."

"Maybe I shouldn't! Maybe, if I wasn't so stupid when it comes to you I would have known better than to think Ba Sing Se is what could help us make it work! Make us work! But apparently not, if you're going to do stupid, self-destructive, poorly planned things and leave me here in the dust!"

Kai moved to the side of their bed. "Jinora—"

"So you're right, okay? Maybe I do want you to change! Maybe I do wish you could leave all this stupid pirate crap behind so you could be goddamn safe, for once! Because you say that you make sacrifices for me, but you don't, really! You come to school and you're unhappy and you make sure I know it. You come here saying that you can handle it and then you can't and you're running again! But I—I would have stayed on the ship for you, and if I wasn't happy, you never would have known it! Because I know what it's like to lie and suffer in silence, and you don't! If one of us doesn't get each other's worlds then it's you, Kai, not me! I have stayed with you through everything and you've offered many things but the one time—the one time—I ask you—the one time I come outright and ask you—to put me first, you say no! Like when I was hurt and I needed you and you left me and broke up with me instead—because you always leave me behind, you never put me first—and I am tired of being second choice!"

Kai's jaw clenched, and it was one of the few times Jinora couldn't read his face. "So leave me, then," he said quietly, his voice trembling but deadly calm. "Leave me first."

Tears stung at Jinora's eyes. She turned away from him, and buried her face in her hands, choking back a sob for a moment before she composed to herself and went to their dresser and started pulling on proper clothes. Got her suitcase from the closet and threw a few more outfits and books and her wallet into it. Got her keys. Every step and action felt automatic, like she was watching her body do it rather than living through it, but somehow she could still feel Kai's eyes watching her. She closed the suitcase and left their bedroom, but her feet stopped once she was at their front door.

Kai had followed her, standing in the open doorway of their bedroom. "Jinora," he said, his tone unreadable, but her hold on the strap of her suitcase still loosened, and then far more tired and softer, he repeated her name. "Jinora, please come back to bed." His voice hitched. "Please."

A tear fell down her cheek. "For a moment I was scared you wouldn't come after me," she mumbled.

He stepped closer. "Jinora…"

"We're still not okay," she said, turning towards him. Her hands were trembling as she dropped the suitcase. They both started walking and met halfway and he scooped her up in his arms, cradling the back of her head.

"I know," he said, a lump in his throat. "I'm sorry. I know." He held her tighter. "For a second I was scared you wouldn't come back." He slowly pulled away to look her in the face, even as his forehead pressed into hers. "Maybe you shouldn't," he whispered, "if that's how I'm making you feel."

Jinora shook her head gently. "No. I want to stay. I love you, and you...you still make me happy, most of the time. I just…" She took a shaky breath. "How would you feel if I was going on a suicide mission and I wouldn't even listen to you?"

Kai swallowed. "Not great." He almost smiled when Jinora puffed out a half-laugh. "But the APA?"

"You don't think I know it's crazy? I just… worse case scenario it delays your plans a bit, but… I just want you to have as many allies as possible. I just want you to be safe. I love that you're brave, and selfless, and compassionate, it's… it's what made me fall in love with you in the first place. What made you take the bullet at the bank. But it also makes me so—" Her breath shuddered in her chest, her throat tight. "So terrified for you it's like I can't breathe."

"Jin…"

"I'm just asking that you try and get more people. Even if it's not the APA, I just—I can't lose you again." Her bottom lip trembled. "That feeling you got, when you thought I wasn't going to come back? When I was missing in Ba Sing Se during the raids? That's what I'm feeling right now, even when I'm with you. It's what I'm feeling all the time."

"I'm sorry," Kai repeated, cupping one side of her face and stroking his thumb over her cheek. "I…" He swallowed. "I'll ask them. I'll ask the APA, and whoever else you want me to."

"Thank you," Jinora said, and another tear spilled down her face. He wiped it away with his thumb, pressing a kiss to her forehead. She wrapped her arms tight around him, burying her face in his chest. "I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have shouted."

Kai caught a glimpse of her suitcase by the door. "You're not going to leave?" he whispered, feeling weak, but he needed to check. To know.

"I don't think I was ever was to begin with," she said softly.

He gave her a small, teary smile. "Just say yes, Jin."

"Yes, I'm not leaving."

"Thank you." He buried his face in her hair. "And I'm never leaving you again. I'm sorry, for...everything. I'm trying to be better, I am, but sometimes… sometimes I forget what matters and I'm sorry—"

Jinora slowly pulled away from his chest, looking up into his face. Her eyes were rimmed with red, and her nose was running slightly. "I'm trying, too," she said. "But that's okay. We just have to both keep trying, right? We just have to keep trying."

"Yeah." He cupped her cheek, wiping away a stray tear. "I love you so much, Jin."

"I love you too."

"Do—do you regret ever—being with me when—"

"Being with you is like being myself. And maybe I've let myself become a little too dependent, again, but—" she sniffled. "I may regret that, but I do not regret you. Never you." She turned her head and kissed his palm. "We should probably both go see someone, maybe Dr. Khun, sometime soon."

"Okay," he said softly. "That sounds good."

She let out a watery laugh that was more of a choked sound than anything else, but the corners of her lips were still upturned, until the noise faded into the silence of their apartment. "Can we go back to bed now?" she whispered.

Kai nodded. "I'll help you get ready." He drew away, but kept his hand in hers, as they walked back to the bedroom. "You want me to get your stuff while you get undressed?"

Jinora shook her head. "We'll get it later. Just...stay with me, right now."

"Of course." He took her hand and pressed his lips to the back of it, before letting go. He helped her undo the buttons of her coat, then her blouse, his hands pausing and falling along her waist. "Jinora."

"I know," she said softly, reaching down and taking off her skirt, next. She let him scoop her up once her clothes were off and he carried her over to her bed, both of them crawling under their sheets and curling up together, him spooning her.

He pressed a kiss to her shoulder, after a long silence. "Thank you," he murmured.

She ran her fingers over the hand he had on her stomach. "For what, love?"

"For not giving up on me. Even when I give you really good reasons to."

Jinora smiled softly. "There are always far more reasons for me to stay. To always stay."

"Jin, I… how would you feel about couples counselling?"

She twisted around to look at him. "Yeah?"

"I don't feel like we can do this on our own right now, and I don't want to try and fail and… I don't want another scare for either of us, like tonight."

"I don't either," she said, and brushed his hair out of his eyes. "I think looking into couples counselling is a good idea."

Kai took her hand, lightly running his fingers through hers, their eyes locked. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. I want to do whatever we have to, to make this work. To make us work." She shied away slightly under his gaze. "What I said, when I was angry, I didn't…"

Kai held her closer. "You may have been angry, but you were also being honest." He tried to coax her to look at him. "Weren't you?"

Jinora nodded slowly. "Some days, I'm afraid that you're not really here, or that I've just...become an obligation, after all this time."

"I want to be here. There's no place I'd rather be than with you, I promise. We just...have old habits to try and work on, me especially." He gave her a weak smile. "I am here, not just stuck in my head… do you remember, what I said, after I told our families what happened to my mother?"

"You said you wanted to sleep and never wake up," she whispered.

"But?" he prodded.

"You said you'd wake up for me."

His hand left her fingers to cup her cheek. "And I meant it. I still mean it. I know I can lose myself in work, or...or the heaviness in me, but I will never leave you, okay? Not me. Not the real me. I'm still here, and I always will be…" He stroked his thumb over her cheek, a frown tugging at his mouth. "But I guess I have left you a lot," he murmured, his eyes leaving her face. "I'm sorry I've ever given you reason to doubt me."

She shook her head. "No, it's just… it's just that every time you've left me, you didn't want to, and it still happened anyway, and I—I think that's scarier, than you just wanting to leave. And it just makes me feel sometimes, like the opposite can happen. Like you'll want to leave me, but you won't because of everything else riding on our relationship and…"

Kai shushed her gently. "I promise, I will never want to leave you. If anything, it was the fear of everything else riding on our relationship that made me want to try and ignore my feelings for you. Not the other way around." He brushed her hair away from her cheeks, cupping her face and letting his lips ghost over hers. "Do you remember our first time?"

Jinora nodded, almost smiling, lightly pressing her lips to his. "Of course I do."

"You remember how I was scared to be intimate? Because I was worried I would mess it up and lose you, and lose everything else your family had given me… but then I remembered that all that mattered was you. All that matters is you. The only reason I'm here is because I want to be, Jinora. I love you."

The corners of her eyes crinkled. "I love you too, Kai." And then tears pricked at her eyes. "Thank you for coming after me." He'd been the one to put himself out there after all, and brace for rejection. "Thank you for asking me to come back."

"Thank you for staying." He kissed her cheek, underneath her eye. "I was so scared you were going to take the ring off too."

She puffed out a shaky laugh. "Which one?"

He chuckled softly. "Good thing we didn't have to find out."

"We won't have to find out." She rested her forehead against his. "It's you and me. No matter what."

"I know. I love you."

Jinora smiled softly. "I love you too."


	29. Counselling

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Counselling

Dr. Khun saw them the following Friday after classes were over and exam prep season had started.

"So, Kai," Dr. Khun said, once they were settled on the sofa across from her. "I must say after all these years, it's nice to finally meet you."

Kai smiled a little bashfully. "It's nice to meet you too, doctor."

"Now, I am aware that both of you have attended therapy before—I believe it was Dr. Aput's recommendation that led to Jinora and I?—but have you ever attended counselling together, before?"

"This is a first for us," Jinora said. "We… we've been realizing there are some things we need to address, issues, things we've let fall by the wayside, and… we just want to get back to where we're supposed to be."

"And where do you believe that is?"

"Trusting each other," Jinora said. "We do already, it's just…"

"Part of knowing each other for so long means that we can fall into old habits," said Kai. "But we just want to be able to be present with each other, and to...feel secure with where we are, I guess. Especially as we take some big steps moving forward."

"Yes, I recall that you're planning to get married soon," said Dr. Aput. "Have you picked a date for the wedding yet?"

"No," Jinora answered, glancing at Kai. "We always knew we would have a longer engagement and…"

"I have work plans, starting in September, and it may be months until it's completed and I can focus on planning a wedding," he explained with a shrug of his shoulders, and a slightly guilty glance back at her.

"And how have you felt about delaying the wedding?"

"It's been fine," Jinora said. "As far as we're concerned, it's mostly just a way to make it official, but...we've known that we're staying together for a long while."

Dr. Khun spread her hands open. "So, what are your issues then, exactly?"

"Well, some of our old… issues, I guess, are coming up again, and…" Jinora sighed, and Kai took her hand. "Sometimes I'm scared that...that he'll leave again, since...we've been broken up before, and have been separated beyond that, and…"

Dr. Khun nodded. "And Kai?"

"I have trouble remembering...what matters, I guess," he said. "I've been so busy with work, and...I assume Jinora's told you what I do?"

Dr. Khun nodded, but she said, "Remind me again?"

"I'm technically a sailor, though I was a pirate before, and...well, I'm doing something kind of dangerous, and we fought about it, and it made me realize that I don't always listen, or think about how what I'm doing will affect her, exactly. I guess I… I still have a bit of a mindset that I don't matter to people, that what I do doesn't have consequences for people outside my crew."

Dr. Khun nodded. "I see. So, you both fought, and...did you make up?"

"We did," Jinora said. "He's taking my suggestion, and he's promised to talk to me about other ways to make this...safer."

Kai gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "One of the things she said, when we fought, was that she felt like she was always my second choice, and I don't want her to feel that way anymore. Because she's always my first choice, but I need to make sure she feels like that's true, not just when I tell her it is with words." He glanced at Jinora, and she smiled softly.

"Kai," Dr. Khun began, "I assume your work allows you to choose your own hours, and what and when to do it?"

"I suppose so," Kai said.

"Then I want you to start by taking a day off," she said. "On one of the days Jinora has work off. Start with once a month, just taking time for each other. I can see that you both are very committed to one another, but sometimes extra, strategic effort has to be made. Spend that day going out together, or staying in together. Whatever you want to do, as long as you're making time for each other. It's something that a lot of long-term couples can neglect to do, even with the best of intentions. After you've gotten used to that, I'll ask you to start doing that once every two weeks, and then work your way up to once a week. But for now, just once every month. No matter what's going on in your work lives. Reaffirm that you're there for one another. You think you can do that?"

"I think so," Jinora said. "Love?"

"We can do it," Kai said. "It has been a while since we've gone out."

"Good," said Dr. Khun. "Next week, I want you to come in with a set date. You can change the date a few times if you want, but no cancelling, okay?"

"Got it," Kai said. "And um… I'm sure Jinora's told you about my… my mental illnesses."

"Remind me again, what they are?"

He swallowed. "Um, PTSD, survivor's guilt, and depression, but that's getting a lot better, and I'm on meds, so… but on bad days, I feel so numb, but I don't want to abandon her then either, because what if she needs me—"

Jinora took his hand, rocking her palm against his in a squeeze. "Kai, it's alright."

He looked at her quickly, and then back to Dr. Khun. "How do I stick around for her, on days like that, if I need to?"

"I feel like that may be a question to ask Jinora, first."

Kai turned to Jinora, looking at her expectantly. "So...what should I do?"

She squeezed his hand. "You don't have to do much. Just...tell me when it happens, if you can. I know some days are better than others, even on your bad ones, so… the best thing you can do on those days is take care of yourself as much as you can, and let me take care of you as much as I can. And I have other people here and at home I can go to, if you don't have the energy to talk. Just...let me be there for you. And be willing to forgive yourself. We're both going to mess up sometimes."

He smiled softly. "Okay. I'll do my best."

"I take it despite your issues you communicate openly and quite regularly with one another?" said Dr. Khun, arching an eyebrow.

Jinora smiled. "We try to."

"It shows. Keep that up, as well, as much as possible."

Kai's smile grew, and he nodded. "We will. I know it's one of the things I've always appreciated most about us."

Jinora met his eyes. "Probably saved my life."

He squeezed her fingers. "Saved mine too."

Dr. Khun smiled slightly. "Is there anything else either of you wish to talk about, before we end our session?"

They exchanged smiles, even if neither of them could remember the last time they'd said it to each other. "We'll be okay," Kai said.

Dr. Khun nodded. "I believe you will be, too. Keep working, and keep being willing to listen, and learn."

"We will," Jinora said. "Thank you, doctor."

It was when they were walking back out into the street, leaving the apartment complex behind that she let Kai's arm bump hers, their hands still joined. He was right. They'd be okay. They'd be more than okay.

"Love?" she asked, when they were waiting to cross the street that would guide them home. There was a park on the other side of the road. "Do you want to go for a walk?"

Kai smiled, squeezing her hand. "I'd love to."

###

It felt like far too long since she'd woken up to a peaceful morning. There was always papers to grade, or Kai was always up long before she was. But this time, the sun was shining through the curtains, and Kai's arms were wrapped snug around her, his chin resting on top of her head. Jinora nosed a little into his neck, her body curled into his as she sighed happily, closing her eyes again until—she may have fallen asleep again—some time later, when she felt Kai's throat shift slightly, his breath changing and his grip loosening by a fraction.

She kept her eyes closed. "Hey," she greeted, voice raw from sleep.

She could feel the warmth of his smile even before he pressed it to her cheek. "Hey," he echoed. "Want me to make breakfast?"

"We'll make it together in a bit," she said softly. "It's been a while since we could stay in bed like this."

"It has," he murmured. "Mm, remember weekend mornings during our last year of school?"

Jinora smiled. "I remember being horny teenagers."

"Now we're sleepy adults?"

"Something like that. Speaking of being adults, we need to go grocery shopping today."

He held her tighter. "Much later today," he bargained.

She stretched out her arms but settled next to him and let him pull her closer. "Much later today," she agreed, closing her eyes when he started stroking her hair. "Hmm. Maybe today can be our day of the week?"

They'd found that choosing just one day of the month wasn't enough, when they had scheduled one in the first second week of April, and had started already to one every two weeks within three appointments with Dr. Khun. "Why not? We can ask Dr. Khun later if we should plan them out more, but right now…" He pressed his smile to her hairline. "This is nice."

Jinora let her fingers drift over his jawline. "Mm, I love you," she murmured appreciatively. His smile grew as their eyes met, and he gently pecked her on the lips.

"I love you too, Jin." He brushed her hair out of her eyes. "I love how smart and how kind you are. And your good looks don't hurt either." His chest swelled when she giggled.

"I love how brave and selfless you are," she said softly. "And kind, and funny…" She pressed a kiss to the corner of his jaw. "And very handsome."

"The best parts of me for your eyes only, love," he purred.

She smiled. "Do you remember those pictures we took, before I went off to school?"

"Remember? I still have yours."

Jinora grinned. "I still have yours, too."

"Good. I was mildly concerned some bandits made off with it when your apartment got raided. They don't deserve a show like that."

"God forbid," she said flatly. She smiled when he kissed the tip of her nose. "We'll have to be careful where we keep those pictures, once we have kids."

"Maybe we'll have to be more careful to make sure we don't have kids until we're at least halfway finished with each other," he suggested.

"You think there's a finish?" she teased.

"Yes, considering I make you reach it all the time."

She laughed. "Someone has an ego."

"That I earned."

She cupped his face affectionately. "Yes, yes you did. And you know what else you can earn?"

He rested his forehead against hers. "What's that?"

"Breakfast." She got up off of him, her eyes twinkling with a silent laugh. "Come on, I'm hungry. We can make pancakes."

Kai grinned, getting up after her. "Deal."

###

It was no surprise they found themselves back in bed later that day, with a very specific intention in mind, his hands in her hair as she straddled his waistline and kissed him hard and wanting, and also content to take her time appreciating and enjoying every part of him, what little clothes they'd worn throughout the day all discarded on their floor.

He tore his mouth away from hers to kiss her neck, pressing kisses to her smooth shoulder with a desire she hadn't seen in weeks. Had it really been that long? She knew they hadn't done this since their fight about the APA and before then, even, with the pregnancy scare and her being so busy with marking. She let out a content sigh, allowing him to flip them over so he was on top of her. "Kai…"

"God I love you," he growled against her neck. "Love your body. The way you feel under me." He let his hand wander over her breasts and stomach, her waistline and hips and thighs, squeezing and fondling as he pleased, and she let out happy hums, burning under his touch. "You're so gorgeous." He nipped at her neck. "And all mine."

"I love you too," she breathed, running her fingers along the nape of his neck. "It's been too long since I've felt you inside me…"

"Or since we've done anything else fun," he purred, pressing his body more firmly against hers. His fingers slid up her thigh and found her clit, toying with it. "I love teasing this in my mouth. Breathing in the scent of you. Tasting you." Jinora whimpered, and he pressed his smirk to her jaw. "But I won't do that yet. I want to have a different sort of fun with you first…"

Her hands gripped his upper arms, her nails digging into his skin. "Please," she said, turning her face towards his neck and kissing it softly, her lips lingering. "Just touch me." Kai slipped a finger inside her, curling it into a sweet spot he knew well as she let out a quiet moan. "Thank you," she whimpered, as he pumped his finger in and out. It had been years now, but she would never not be amazed how much better his fingers felt than hers did, once he got the hang of it.

His other hand gripped her hip, keeping her in place even as she her hips bucked upwards into his hand and he shushed her quiet whimpers, pressing soft kisses to her cheek and jaw. "Should I make you cum just like this baby?" he breathed. "And then take you in all the ways we want?"

"Do whatever you want to me," she breathed. "Just don't stop touching me."

He pushed another finger inside and slowly stroked her, feeling her tremble around him as she drew her bottom lip between her teeth. "I missed feeling close to you like this," he murmured against her skin. She sighed softly, tangling her fingers in his hair.

"I missed you too," she sighed. "Mm—at least let me touch you, too." She ran her hand down his back, and then over his ribs, drawing it over the muscled plane of his stomach. She shifted, letting him press against her inner thigh, her eyes heavily lidded. "Don't you want me to touch you?"

Kai pressed a kiss below her earlobe. "Go ahead, baby."

Jinora released a shaky exhale and smiled, before she gripped him in her hand, pleased when she felt him twitch and harden. It was always nice to know he wanted her as much as she wanted him. She pressed her thumb against his tip and kissed his jaw. "It's been so long since I've kissed you there," she murmured. She let her thumb circle him. "I miss having this in my mouth."

"You can have it, once I'm done with you."

"But you're never really done with me."

Kai chuckled into her skin. "That's true. What can I say? You're everything I've ever wanted."

Her heart fluttered in her chest, even as heat broiled below her stomach and she dripped onto his fingers. "Start using your mouth for something better, flirt."

He grinned, pressing one more kiss to the curve of her neck. "Whatever you say, babe." He withdrew his fingers from between her legs, pressing kisses down the column of her throat and down between her breasts. She gripped his hair and pulled his mouth back up to hers, kissing him hard.

"Not like that," she said, and he got the message, drawing away from her and moving on his back, his head resting on their pillows and watching, eyes alight with lust, as Jinora swung her thighs over his neck.

"I did miss this," he murmured, as she inched closer, and he could taste her slick inner thighs.

Jinora smiled, stroking one of her hands over the side of his face. "Just make sure you take care of yourself too," she purred, and then shifted and settled over his mouth. She sighed when she felt his tongue, and one of his hands leave her hips to grip his cock, the other anchoring her to him. She rubbed her aching cunt against his mouth, pausing when she felt his tongue slide between her trembling walls. She bit her lip, a shiver running up her spine as he ate her out. She could feel his moans vibrate against her, brief pauses for breath, as he got turned on by the taste of her and the work of his hand.

Her breasts bounced as she rocked against his mouth and he slowly, but effectively, unravelled her. His hand left her hip and she felt his fingers skim the indent of her thigh, travelling blind, until he found her clit and circled it with his thumb. Jinora let out a soft cry, her hands gripping the back of the headboard. He licked up and down her entrance, his hand leaving his length to cup her ass and press her more firmly against him as he quickened his pace, the movements of his tongue harder and faster. Her moans came more freely as she rocked into his face, her arms trembling. Her thighs quivered against his jaw as she came with a hoarse, strangled cry, and his tongue turned soft and soothing, stroking her through it and lapping gently. When she'd let go of the backboard, he lifted her off his face and onto the space next to his shoulder, his hand splayed over her hip as he looked at her.

"Okay?" he checked, his voice hoarse.

She nodded, her face flushed. "Okay," she confirmed, shifting into a half sitting position with her lying on her side. She rested a hand on his chest, over his heart and she kissed the crook of his neck. "Thank you baby." Her eyes drifted down to his erect cock. "Let me watch?"

Kai nodded, as he stroked himself faster. Jinora rested her head on his shoulder, transfixed as he ran his hand up the length of his shaft, up and down. She reached down, wrapping her fingers around his, helping him stroke himself. She pressed her smile to his skin when he came in a spurt of warmth.

"I love you," she murmured, and he smiled breathlessly, wiping his hand off on the side of their bed before wrapping his arm around her waist.

"I love you too." He let his fingers graze her upper arm. "You know, when I first realized I liked you… I never thought we'd end up here."

Jinora's smile softened. "When did you first realize you liked me?"

"Um… I thought you were pretty when I woke up in the hospital. And I definitely had a big crush on you well before New Year's, but… I don't know if there was a single moment. It just happened, and I knew there was no going back, but…" He toyed with a strand of her hair. "It was probably when we were in the library, late one night, studying. Your hair used to always fall over your cheek, remember? Still does. And you tucked it away and I… I realized I wanted to tuck it away too. Tuck you away, from everything in the world I knew could hurt you, and keep you safe and happy and… and with me."

Jinora had lost track of how many times he had made her heart melt, as it did again, warm and swelling in her chest. "I knew I liked you when I was waiting by your bed, in the hospital," she murmured, "but I didn't know back then if I was just grateful, or…" She took his hand, resting their joined hands on his chest. "And then I got to know you, and realized that I am grateful, but not just for what you did, and what you do, but...mostly, for who you are." She curled into him. "For the fact that I get to be in your life."

"You've made a poet out of me yet," he praised. "We're gonna have beautiful vows, aren't we?"

She laughed softly. "We'll have everyone crying and waiting far too long for the reception dinner."

"Like they'll mind. And even if they do, they can't really say anything. They know what we're like."

Jinora nuzzled into the crook of his neck. "After we fought, about the APA and Quil and everything, it… It was the longest we'd ever gone without resolving it. And it felt like...like I wouldn't ever feel close to you again."

"Jin…" He held her closer. "I'm sorry."

"I know it's stupid, we were only fighting about it for a couple weeks—"

"Your feelings are never stupid. I don't like it when we fight either. But we'll always get through it, okay? Whenever we feel like we're drifting, we'll always make sure to come back together again. Whether it's through therapy or whatever we need, we'll always figure it out." He ran his fingers through her hair, letting his cheek press against her brow. "Do you want to talk about our fight? We haven't really… outside our sessions, and… a lot of things got brought up. Those don't just come out of nowhere."

"I think I was mostly just scared," she said softly. "Scared that you would get hurt, or killed… then I was scared that you...that you might not want to come back at all…"

"I remember you saying something about how you always felt like you were my second choice," he said softly. "You know you're not, right?"

"I know."

"But...you still feel it?"

"Not right now. But...sometimes," she admitted. "After we broke up, I felt like I was always asking when you would take me back. And I understand why we broke up, and I do think you made the right decision—but I also never wanted it. I never wanted to be apart from you and… it never felt like I was the one who got to decide whether we were in the same place or not." She swallowed. "And then when you do finally follow me, it seems like you're unhappy, and…" She pulled away slightly, looking into his face. "I didn't know what to think," she said. "Much less what to feel."

"I'm not unhappy here, I promise," he said. "Maybe… maybe I have a tendency to get restless, when I'm in one place for a long time. And I think part of that was having to deal with the police, and planning something so big when we're still trying to settle into our life together. And then… I was planning to tell you, but the way you found out kind of...escalated the situation, I guess. But you're always my first choice, I swear. Whether we're here, or in your family's mansion, on the Waterbender, or—or even hermits in the mountains," he said, smiling when Jinora chuckled. He took her hand and laced his fingers through hers. "When you're a man like me… you get used to having to make hard decisions, and every time I've left you—they've always been the hardest things I've ever done. And I thought, when we broke up, if I could have stayed and not have kept on hurting you, I would have… I wept for a week or more, after."

"You did?"

"Didn't leave my cabin for a week. Ask Yung." He gave her a small smile. "The thing I'm not used to is having a partner, to make decisions with. And...I guess it still takes me a little more effort, to remember that my actions affect more than just me. It's something I know I'm going to be working on more than ever, now that we're getting married. It's still a little scary, y'know, because what if I make the wrong choice, and it affects you badly? But I'm working on it. And you're always my first choice. And I'm gonna work on showing you, a little better."

Jinora smiled slightly. "Thank you. I know I have things to work on, too. I shouldn't have responded with anger when I was just scared, I…"

"We'll figure it out together. That's why we're doing therapy, right?"

Her smile grew. "Yeah." She drew closer, curling into him again. "And it helps, just spending time together like this, and just...talking."

He pressed his smile to her brow. "I like it too." There was a moment of silence, before he said, "By the way, I sent some letters to the APA this morning."

"You did?"

"I still don't know if it'll help, but I promised you I would, didn't I? And I'm gonna talk to Tullik and Aika, see if Misun has any connections. I wanna have as much help as I can get, right, to pull this off? So we can both come back safe and sound and get married and make lots of babies."

Jinora smiled wide. "And even adopt a few of them," she added.

"Exactly." He played with the ends of her hair. "And no matter where we are, I know we'll be okay. And I'll learn to not be so restless anymore. I'll get better at it, with you by my side. After all, that's always where I want to be. Okay?"

"Okay." She draped an arm over his waist, holding him closer. "I love you so much."

"I love you too. So much." He kissed her forehead. "Anything else you wanna talk about, love?"

She shook her head. "But I like that we still ask each other that," she murmured.

"We always will," he said. "We'll write it into our vows, even."

Jinora breathed out a soft laugh. "I'll hold you to that." She closed her eyes, snuggling into him.

It was hard to remember that they'd been fighting at all, when they were curled up together like this.

###

They'd gone to one of his family homes in the countryside for the summer, as Shen Shen curled a hand over Lee's ribs. The house had air conditioning, but it was still fairly hot, and she was more than happy with their lack of clothing since they had arrived a few days ago. "Sono," she said. The sun was setting outside their window as they laid in bed.

Lee cracked an eye open. "Yes, Shen?"

"I'm bored. And hungry."

"We could go make dinner?" When she shot him a look, he opened both eyes, mildly annoyed. "What, is that not a valid option to solve both those problems?"

"I don't wanna get up."

"Wouldn't getting up help with your boredom?"

Shen Shen sighed. "Sono, what else, other than making dinner, would solve both of my problems?" She trailed her fingers down his stomach, a teasing touch and scrape of her nails.

His hand found her long dark hair, gripping at the back of her head. He tugged her head back gently, forcing her to lift her chin as he shifted so she was on top of him. "You know you can just ask instead of complaining about something vague, right?"

"Shut up." She leaned down and kissed him hard, running her fingers through his hair. "You know complaining is what I do."

"If I agree will I be in trouble?"

She grinned wickedly against his mouth. "I like having you in trouble." She kissed him more fully, moaning quietly as he ran his tongue along the curve of her lips. She let him taste her for a moment before she tugged his bottom lip between her teeth, before sitting back and straddling him, as she swept her hair out of her face, looking down at him before saying, fairly flatly, "We should get married."

Lee blinked. "What?"

"You heard me. I mean, it just makes sense." She licked her lips and her eyes darted away. "Don't you think?"

He smiled slightly. "I get a say?"

Shen Shen pouted. "What do you mean, 'do I get a say—'"

"Yes." He took her face in his hands, leaning up to kiss her with a tenderness that made her heart melt. "I say yes," he agreed, his voice soft. "Let's get married."

Shen Shen smiled despite herself, her weight melting into his. "Good. Because I think I, uh, actually like you and love you, and all that gross stuff."

Lee smiled fondly. "Good, because I think I want all that gross stuff with you too." He ran his thumb over the curve of her cheek. "I love you, Shen."

"You're so gross," Shen Shen mumbled, resting her forehead against his. "I love you, too, dummy."

"We can go ring shopping tomorrow," he suggested.

"Mm, if you do your job right today, I was thinking I wouldn't be able to walk comfortably tomorrow."

"The day after, then."

"I said 'if'," she said with a smirk.

"Hmm, well if you're not confident in my capabilities I could always go read," Lee said, and she knew it was a genuine offer.

She looped her arms around his neck. "Don't you dare." Lee grinned up at her, and she rolled her eyes, leaning in. "Just shut up and kiss me."

When he did, neither of them spoke for a while.

###

The envelope was fancier than she was used to, with lace embossments in the thick paper, wax sealed with Lee's family crest. Jinora opened it carefully on one of the last days they'd be in Ba Sing Se before going back to Republic City for the summer, pulling out an even more elaborate card, and a grin split her face. "Kai," she called, figuring he was in his small study. "Come out here."

Kai came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his chin on her shoulder. "Whatcha got there?" he asked, but he went quiet as soon as he said it. "Lee and Shen Shen, huh," he said softly.

"In less than three months," Jinora said with a slight smile. Their names were in beautiful calligraphy, the date of their wedding at the bottom of the lace-adorned invitation. "I bet they're going to have a time putting a big wedding together that quickly."

"Lee's probably gonna let Shen Shen take the ropes on this one."

Jinora let out a soft chuckle. "She's always been particular, and never does things halfway."

"I guess we'll have a wedding to go to, before Paradise." His smile faded. "Do you want to get married, before we go?"

Jinora shook her head. "It would feel like...like we're trying to race time, before…" She sighed. "I don't want it to feel like we're running on limited time, you know? Like...like it's only a precaution, in case something happens. I want us to look forward to it with faith that we'll both be okay after Paradise." She looked back at him. "Do you want to get married first?"

"No," he said. "Not really. I'm pretty committed to the idea of spending a lifetime with you, love." He pressed his smile to her cheek. "And I plan on making that lifetime very, very long."

"Good." She placed her hands over his. "Only four more years, roughly, until we've known each other for half our lives."

He unwrapped his arms from around her waist, to turn her towards him, his brow scrunched up. "And… once we're home from Paradise, after the wedding? What do we do then? Do we come back here?"

Her smile fell. "I… I don't know."

"We can come back if you want. I know you'd like teaching for a few more years."

"But you've been away from the Waterbender for so long. It'd be nice, to stay there when we're not having to do some brave, dangerous thing."

He brushed her hair out of her face, cupping her cheek. "Are you sure?"

She nodded. "While I was doing my research project, I was happy there. I'm sure. I miss the crew, anyway. I'd have a more relaxing teaching schedule, could help you and Otaku with the budget. See my family and Lee and the girls more often. And I know you would be happier too."

He pressed a kiss to her temple. "I love you," he said softly.

Jinora's smile grew. "I love you, too." She cupped his face gently. "Thank you for being with me, while I figured out what I wanted to do. I needed to know what was here in the city. But...I'm ready for us to go back home."

"To Republic City?"

"To the ship."

Kai's smile widened, the corners of his eyes crinkling. "Have I mentioned that I love you?"

"Once or twice," she teased. "And I never get tired of hearing it."'

"Good, because I never get tired of saying it." He drew her closer when she turned around to face him, resting his forehead against hers. "I can't wait for us to go back home."

"Neither can I." She pressed a kiss to the bridge of his nose. "We'll pack up for good and drop off the keys to the apartment once we start leaving for Lee and Shen Shen's wedding, and even if we'll have to go to Paradise...we'll still be home. Okay?"

"Okay." He smiled widely, before it faded. "I think we might have another problem on our hands, though."

"Really? What?"

"If we're leaving we should probably start preparing to pack up now," he said, his hands sliding to her hips, "but I just really want to have sex with you right now."

She laughed, letting her face fall into his shoulder, before her hands came up and started playing with his collar and the first few buttons of his shirt. "I bet I can help make a decision." She pressed her mouth to the crook of his neck, trailing kisses down his throat, over his Adam's apple. She barely suppressed a giggle when he let out a soft groan, before hoisting her into his arms, carrying her over to their bedroom.

They were both smiling as they helped each other get their clothes off, trying to kiss as best they could once all their clothes were on the floor. Kai bunched her hair up in his hands as they moved backwards onto their bed, humming happily.

"I've been thinking of getting a haircut," she said, laughing when he pouted a little. "Kai."

"What? I love your hair. And when it's long it's easier to play with, and spills over your shoulders. It's sexy."

Jinora propped herself up with her elbow, smirking at him. "What if I cut it short enough so that you could alway see the nape of my neck? Or so it never got in the way when I'm sucking you off?"

"I'm still voting for long hair, but you can do what you want," he assured her. "You'll always look gorgeous either way."

Her smiled softened, and she kissed him long and hard. "Maybe I'll let it grow out a little longer."

He stroked his thumbs over her cheeks. "Now, for our spontaneous sexy times, what would you like to start with?"

She smirked at him. "Well since I brought up sucking you off…" He let her roll him over so he was on his back, and she spread her hands over his chest, gazing down at him. "Mm, I've told you how much I love your chest, right baby?"

He smiled back at her. "I may have heard it once or twice." He gently ran his fingers through her hair as she trailed kisses down his chest, lingering to trace each smooth, hard line of muscle before she moved to his stomach. She let her teeth scrape his skin a few times, revelling in the way he shivered underneath her, as her mouth hovered over the spot just below his navel before pressing a slow kiss to it. His breath stuttered in his chest.

"It only just occurred to me how long it's been," he managed, his breath hitching when Jinora took his shaft in her hand.

She pressed her smile to his skin, giving him a solid stroke. "Since?"

"Since you've had my cock in your mouth."

Jinora bit back a laugh, running her tongue along the underside. "I've missed it too," she murmured, letting her lips brush his tip. "Mm, you always taste so good." She took his tip into her mouth, sucking on it gently, before taking more of him in, inch by inch. Kai tangled his fingers in her hair, groaning softly.

"You're so good at this baby," he said tightly. "So good." She hummed in reply, her tongue vibrating against his underside, and he let out a soft moan. Her fingernails scraped up and down his hip bones and thighs, and had he been a bit younger, he suspected he would've lost it almost immediately.

He came relatively quickly all the same, and Jinora lapped him up eagerly, his release dripping down her chin and onto her chest as she raised her head to look at him. He fisted a hand in her hair, pulling her mouth towards his so he could kiss her, as her body settled over his. Her lips and tongue were warm, tasting like his release and also something that was undeniably her, as their kiss deepened.

She trailed a hand down his stomach again, gripping him lightly even though he was still rather limp. "How long will I have to wait to have this where I want it?" she purred.

He ran his hands through her hair as it spilled over one shoulder, and then along her back, as he looked at her, her lips shiny with his cum. "A few minutes," he admitted reluctantly. If he thought he could give her a good performance in his state he wouldn't have waited at all.

Jinora smiled, and he felt her engagement ring press against his cock. "I don't mind," she said, much too sultry for him to be able to handle rationally. "The wait is always worth it."

He grabbed her waist and flipped them so he was on top, and she bit her lip as he looked down at her, before he ducked his head to lick his release off her chest, his mouth lingering over the curves of her breasts and the dip of her collarbone. Jinora threw her head back, sighing contentedly as he traced her lines and curves with his mouth and hands, the ache between her legs growing almost unbearable as she tried and failed to stifle a whine.

"I know baby," he whispered into her skin, kissing his way back up to her mouth, before he pulled away to meet her gaze. "I know. Soon." He ran his hands slowly up and down her thighs. "Where do you want me to touch you first, my love?" He kissed the corner of her trembling mouth. "How?"

She guided one of his hands to her breast, his palm resting over its curve. "I'm willing to wait longer before you touch me where I really want," she murmured, "so I can have you where I want you."

He smiled softly, stroking one of this thumbs over her hard nipple and circling it as his nose pressed against hers. "I know," he said. "But that still doesn't tell me how."

She let her fingers play with his hair. "You've always known how."

He nipped at her bottom lip, smiling slightly against her skin. "Do you want to be able to see my face, when I fuck you?"

She let her hand trail down to his jaw. "As long as your cock is hard and deep inside me, I don't care." She glanced down at their loosely aligned hips, before back to his face. "I love having you inside me," she said, almost softly. "You know that."

His grin widened. "Then turn around," he said, his voice low and commanding. It sent a shiver down Jinora's spine, as she did as he asked, anticipation broiling in her stomach. The mattress was soft under her hands and knees as he curled his body over hers, and his warmth was all encompassing, her back pressed to his chest.

She bit her lip when his hands nudged her legs apart. "Kai," she sighed, whining as he pushed her down onto the mattress, their tangled sheets soft under her stomach and breasts, her legs stretching out below his.

He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "Are you wet for me, my love?"

"Dripping onto our sheets," she murmured. "I'm so tight and wet for you, baby it aches." She whimpered when he began to rub his hardening cock along her wet, dripping folds, one of his hands palming the smooth expanse of her back.

Jinora spread her legs a little wider, moaning quietly when he slowly slid into her inch by inch. He didn't wait to be inside her completely before he started thrusting, and with the change in angle it was—

"Yes," she gasped. "Just like that." She raised her hips closer to his, groaning when he went in even deeper. She pushed her hips up into his with each thrust, her body trembling as he unravelled her.

His breath was hot against her ear, as he kept his hands braced on either side of her elbows and thrusted harder and faster into her. "Your pussy always parts so easily for me baby," he praised, pressing his hips closer to hers.

Jinora pushed up until he was buried completely inside her, content to rock her hips back into his as he thrusted sharp and fast, barely drawing out before slamming back in. "Ah—baby—I need more—"

His voice was low and hoarse in her ear. "Get off my cock, and onto your back."

Jinora whimpered, mourning the loss of him as she let him slip out, and turned over weakly onto her back, dripping and looking at him with desperate eyes. She kept her eyes on him as he moved closer to her, mimicking the pose he'd had over her before, his palms braced on either side of her head to hold himself up. He took one hand and pushed her thighs wide apart, before pushing them up so they dangled, hooked over each one of his hips as he remained kneeling. Kai took her hips and yanked her towards him, curving his body downwards at the same time.

He was buried in her up to the base, hot and hard, and then fucked her like his life depended on it, an endless onslaught of pounding into her everytime he pulled out, her body trembling as her suspended thighs, now hiked up and out of the way, let him get as close as possible. She grasped at the sheets around her, surrendering to the way he felt inside her, the way her blood flowed warm and thick as he made desperate love to her. She shuddered and writhed, listening to the way both their breath grew ragged, to the obscene sounds of him sliding in and out of her wetness, and the quiet creaking of their bed.

"Kai," she moaned, melting when he leaned down as far as he could and caught her lips in a gentle, fumbling kiss.

"I love you," he said, never breaking pace. She let out a heady moan, looking up at him even as stars formed in her eyes.

"I love you too," she gasped, before crying out his name as she came, clenching tight around him.

Kai's hips stilled, to soothe her through it, as she fell apart underneath him and her limbs went limp, her chest heaving. He let her legs ease down, before he thrusted into her hard a few more times as she let out whimpers, already very sensitive, before he spilled inside her, deep and thick and overflowing between her thighs.

Jinora was still trying to catch her breath when he pulled out of her, and rolled onto his back beside her, his left arm and her right grazing one another's. She scooted closer, and Kai wrapped an arm around her waist, holding her gently. "How're you feeling?" he murmured.

"Like we should actually start packing tomorrow morning," she said with a breathless grin. "And then we'll get to do this in the bed we both picked out for the ship."

"That's a really good bed," Kai agreed, still slightly out of breath. "Also a very good bed for napping."

"Mm, so long as you're my pillow, lover boy." She pressed her smile to the corner of his jaw. "We'll get to start a family on that ship," she murmured.

"Have our honeymoon on Ember Island," he reminded her. "Pabu and Tyyo can go visit their families."

"I know. But afterwards." She pulled away just enough to look into his face. "I just never expected that I could so easily plant roots in a place that's constantly moving," she mused.

"I guess that's what happens when you fall in love," Kai said. "Your soulmate becomes your home. Everything else is just secondary."

Her brows knit together as she smiled up at him, her eyes shining. "You think I'm your soulmate?"

"I know you are." His expression grew puzzled when she stayed silent. "Don't you believe in soulmates?"

"I'm not sure," she admitted. "But I know that if they do exist, you're mine."

"And if they don't?"

"Then maybe you still are, and we're the exception." She pressed her forehead against his. "And no matter what fate or destiny has planned for us, I choose you, with everything I am. My story isn't complete without you in it, now."

Kai smiled. "I guess it's our story now, huh?"

"And our happily ever after, you dork."

"Technically we've been in the happily ever after part of our story for a while. No one else would read our book. We're too content." Kai's smile grew when Jinora laughed.

"That's their loss. I like our story. Even if we're at...maybe hundreds, or thousands, of pages of us being happy together." She curled into his side, resting her head on his shoulder. "I think we've earned it, don't you?"

His voice softened. "You know, I was so scared of being happy, for so long. But I think I was getting it mixed up. Because you don't just make me happy. You bring me real, honest joy, and that doesn't go away, even when happiness does." He played with the ends of her hair. "Even when we're fighting, or when we're having a bad day, or when I'm having one of...one of my Bad Days, I still wouldn't give up any of this. I just...never thought that this could be so constant, and strong, and solid, and…" His eyes were shining as he smiled at her. "Thank you."

"I love you."

"I love you too." He tucked her hair behind her ears. "And Sono and Shen Shen got nothing on us, babe."

Jinora giggled. "It's not a contest, love. Even though everyone knows we'd win if it was."

"Exactly, which is why it's not really a contest, is it?"

She rolled her eyes, but smiled. "I guess I walked right into that one."

"Yeah," he teased, "I really thought you were smarter than that, Gyatso."

"Fong," she corrected him. His grin widened.

"That might get a little confusing, Fong."

"I think it'll be fairly simple. I'll be Mrs. Fong and you'll be Mr. Gyatso."

He made a face. "Sounds too much like your dad."

"You haven't called him that in years."

"But everyone else calls him that."

"No, they call him Governor or Senator Gyatso. You could pass just fine as Mr. Gyatso."

He wrinkled his nose at her. "Fine, I'll take it."

"Or you could just hyphenate our surnames like we planned. Or go by Tashi." She watched his eyes soften. "What?"

"Nothing, just…" His smiled at her, his hand finding hers and tangling their fingers together. "For so long I didn't have any surname, and now I have too many to choose from."

Jinora squeezed his hand. "Be greedy and take all of them."

"Nah. I'm fine to hyphen and have Tashi as a middle name. I'm just as much a Gyatso as I am a pirate. And a hundred percent yours."

Jinora nuzzled into his neck. "That's all I want." She sighed softly. "We should sleep, love. So we can pack tomorrow morning, and...have more fun before we have to leave the apartment for good?"

"Sounds good to me, love." He pressed a kiss to her temple. "Goodnight, Jin. I love you."

"I love you too."

###

It was bittersweet, leaving their apartment behind. It had become sort of a home, in a way, a taste of domesticity that wouldn't be quite the same back on the ship. They wouldn't have so much of their own space, their own routine for meals and being able to walk around with as little clothes as they pleased, or walk to the market everyday if they chose to. Still, Jinora knew that the chapter of their lives that centred on Ba Sing Se had finally been closed once and for all, and she was glad for it.

"You sure you have everything?" she asked Kai, as they rolled the last of their suitcases out of their apartment. Everything else had been labelled of whether to be sent to the Gyatso manor in Republic City, or to just be sold.

"Yep. Checked every drawer twice, just like you taught me."

Jinora smiled softly. "Picked up all your socks?"

"Yes, babe. C'mon, before we miss our train."

She took his hand, pecking him on the cheek. "I guess it's goodbye to this apartment."

"Yeah." They both turned back to look at it. "I'll miss the space, if I'm being honest."

"And the marketplace."

"Well, once we're sailing, we'll have like ten markets to visit, even if we can't go as often."

Jinora's smile grew. "And we won't need that much space, anyway. And the decks are spacious enough."

"And once we're a bit older, maybe when we have a couple of kids, we can settle down in some seaside town, or something."

Jinora squeezed his hand. "We'll decide once we're at that point. But for now...the train?"

"Alright." He looked back at their old home one last time, and then at the one he'd always had. "C'mon, let's go."


End file.
